The Signs When To Stop Holding To What's Hurting You!

This Episode changes its focus by targeting Couples who are in dating Relationships. There is a very special emphasis on how to keep long lasting Relationships. But in this Episode, Tony highlights "The Signs When To Stop Holding What's Hurting You!" Tony goes into the deep end as he gives examples of the signs that will pop up in Negative Relationships. The key to knowing when a Relationship is over is keeping your eyes open for the signs that are evident in some cases from the start. Problems arise when we get caught up with the person and miss the signs that have been given!

Here are "The Signs When To Stop Holding On To What's Hurting You"

1. 1st Sign is When You Don't Feel Emotionally Safe in the Relationship

2. 2nd Sign is When You Don't See a Future with Them

3. 3rd Sign is When They Are Not Trustworthy

Next Episode will give you 3 more Signs!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:01

Hello, everybody. This is Tony Miller of the Relationship Therapy Podcast. I just broke into this episode just to let you know that we are looking for sponsors of our podcast. If you are a business, if you're a new business looking for more clientele, one of the best ways for you to do that is to sponsor here at this podcast. We are in over 450 cities worldwide, and that will help get your name out, get your image out, and what you do out. All you've got to do is contact us at tmrelationship therapy at gmail.com, and we will get you all the information you need to make a decision for sponsoring on our podcast. Back to your regularly scheduled programming. One of the most common things that we all realize is that some things just come to an end. The truth is, the same thing can be said about some relationships. We all know that relationships can find their ending points. The problem is we may not know when a negative relationship should find its end. Often, relationships linger on and linger on longer than they should while causing some extensive damage along the way. There has to be substantial evidence that is constantly seen in order to remove yourself from a hurtful relationship. The Relationship Therapy Podcast will highlight the signs to look for in order to end that type of relationship.

SPEAKER_00: 1:49

You've tuned into the Relationship Therapy Podcast with Tony Miller Sr., a podcast designed for couples who are married, couples who are dating, and have marriage in their future. We will guide you to the principles that will make your relationship better. Stick around. You might just learn something that will help your relationship last longer, grow stronger, and become healthier. Now, here's your host, Tony Miller Sr.

SPEAKER_01: 2:22

Hello everybody. This is your host, Tony Miller Sr., and welcome to another episode of the Relationship Therapy Podcast. I'm excited for you to join us again this week. We're thankful that you're listening to us. And again, thank you, thank you, thank you. This week, we're taking this episode into a different direction. We're going to head in the direction of unmarried couples, people who are dating. I've had so many people saying that all of your episodes tend to target marriages or people who are married. So this episode, we're going to send this one out to all unmarried couples or people who are dating. Too many times we hold on to relationships that is going nowhere fast. What is it that needs to happen in order for individuals to make the proper decision on that relationship? I have heard so many people say that they find out negative things about their former partner, that the signs were always there, but they thought things would change the longer the relationship lasted. The fact is, people will not change until they want to change for themselves. Let me say that again. People will not change until they want to change for themselves. So in this episode, I want to talk to you about the signs when to stop holding on to what's hurting you. So let's go ahead and get started with the signs to when to stop holding on to what's hurting you. The first sign is when you don't feel emotionally safe in the relationship. I know most of you are wondering what it means to be emotionally safe in relationships. Emotional safety is a state where two people are open, vulnerable, and intimate with each other. It is the very foundation where connection between the two people involved in the relationship can start flourishing. And it is paramount in what you want to have as a truly lasting relationship. I understand that when this is in the relationship, that relationship can sustain any obstacle that comes its way. But when there is no emotional safety, the relationship begins its descent from being a strong relationship to one headed to a dreadful end. People always want to be safe in their relationships, just like they want to be safe in their environments. And this especially applies to females. But in order to keep this relationship and all relationships connected, there has to be a safe set of boundaries that are not only in place, but honored by your significant other as well. Not honoring these boundaries, not honoring these things that are important to you is a way to break a boundary. Just because it is not what your boundary might be, your significant other has a boundary that you need to honor because it's important to them. Also, when your significant other shares confidential information that they've only shared with you, and then you go out and share with other people, and they wanted it just to stay between you and them. That is breaking a boundary. It is extremely hard for people to feel safe if they know that you're just going to spread it to others, and others are going to be talking about it and even sending your personal information out over and over and over again. It's hurtful to your mate. If your mate can't be protective over what you shared, that could or at least should be a sign that it's time to let go of that particular relationship. If I cannot be emotionally safe with my wife, then we would have problems. So we've set up boundaries. And that is one of the main reasons why our relationship is like it is. These emotional, safe boundaries have been set, and we feel safe within the relationship. Love is important in every type of relationship. However, keeping the intimate things inside of the boundary is just as important for the relationship to continue forward. The second sign that I want to talk about is when you don't see a future with them. The one consistent thing about new relationships is that there's some point the newness will wear off. We all wish that we could keep it new, but it will stop eventually. Once that happens, you may begin to see some things in the relationship that doesn't sit well with you. And in some cases, very unattractive. The truth of the matter is, we all tend to showcase our best side until we let our guard down. And when letting our guard down, the real us or the real them may not be as appealing as before. That's why it's important to ask what I call qualifying questions in the onset of the relationship. It helps you ascertain their goals and their directions. It is not a foolproof way to go, but it helps so many people along the way. At this stage, we tend to hang in there just for hope's sake that there will be a change, even though we dislike the person that we're with. Sometimes it becomes so frustrating that the relationship just begins to sour. That's a sign you must see. You cannot see yourself in the future with this person. It is time to get out and get out running. I tell all the singles that I counsel that there is a need for you to make sure when you start looking at somebody or they're asking you out on a date. Can you see yourself in the future with them? If you cannot see yourself in the future with them, why are you wasting your time and also wasting their time going out, especially as you get older? Your time is valuable, and spending that precious time with a person who you don't see a future with is futile at best. You may be headed in different directions or chasing after different things in life. Remove yourself now before the feelings grow stronger and it becomes more and more difficult to let go of the relationship. Can I say something? Trying to move a person in your direction is almost impossible and definitively useless if they have no desire to join you on your journey. Your journey is for you and the new person who is meant to take that journey with you. Don't miss out on traveling with that new companion while you're wasting your time with the person who probably is not even supposed to be with you. They don't deserve you and don't deserve your love. It happens more than you know. So follow the signs that you see. And here's the third and final one. Sign three is when they are not trustworthy. I've said many times on this podcast that trust is a foundational aspect of any relationship. It's extremely important when it comes to romantic relationships. If at the dating level you see that you cannot trust your significant other, what makes you think they will change if you take it to the next step? So many people have made the mistake of trying to prove that they will change and have failed miserably while trying. Why does it matter now? Let me repeat myself. Trust is a foundational aspect of any relationship. If there is no trust in the relationship now, how will you have trust in the future? Matter of fact, how will you have a relationship? Here's a fun fact healthy relationship starts while dating. And in the process of dating, during that time of dating, you're building foundational trust, something that you can build on to develop into an even more blossoming relationship. If that trust does not exist, then the stairs to a blissful relationship has been removed, and you should remove yourself as well. I know that trust is a two-way street, and you cannot expect someone to be trustworthy if you're not trustworthy. So you've got to be who you want that person to be. And at the end of the day, that thinking will help you make your decision. The relationship is going to have a tough time moving forward if there is no trust. Get off the ship now before you start sinking with it. You can no longer miss the signs that they're giving you. Well, that's all I've got for you today. This particular episode was designed for couples, designed for singles who are dating. I want to repeat these three signs, and next week, we're going to give you three more signs to when you need to stop holding on to what's hurting you. The first sign today is when you don't feel emotionally safe in the relationship. The second sign is when you don't see a future with them. And here's the third sign when they are not trustworthy. Hold on to those signs because they mean something. Every sign has a reason for being there. Trust your instincts, trust your gut, and don't fall into the trap of they'll change for the purpose of changing. Well, that's all we've got. I hope you enjoyed it. Listen, let me know how we're doing. I love to hear from my listeners. Please contact us. The host is going to tell you how to get in touch with me. And as always, in closing, it takes two to make a relationship work.

SPEAKER_00: 14:47

Thank you for listening to the Relationship Therapy Podcast with Tony Miller Sr. We hope you have enjoyed this episode. Tune in next time for more insight on how to make your relationship better. If you have any questions, please email us at tmrelationship therapy at gmail.com. We would love to hear from you. Until next time, remember, it takes two to make the relationship work.