The Signs When To Stop Holding On To What's Hurting You Part 2

This Episode is the part 2 follow up to the previous Episode where Tony was talking about Signs. He continues to give us powerful information for those who are dating. He highlights that Signs will be seen throughout the Relationship to let the individual know that danger is on the way. Too often people let those Signs flow to the back of their memory until it's too late. Tony pulls out some key things for people to look for as they venture through their Relationship. If something is not looking good from the outset, it's a great Sign that it could very well be the problem that forfeits your happiness with your partner. When people tell you who they are, you better believe them!

Here are 3 more Signs When To Stop Holding On To What's Hurting You!

1. 1st Sign is When You Both Are Headed in Different Directions

2.  2nd Sign is When you Are Making Too Many Sacrifices & Compromises

3.  3rd Sign is When You Are Never the Priority in the Relationship


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Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:02

Hello, everybody. This is Tony Miller of the Relationship Therapy Podcast. I just broke into this episode just to let you know that we are looking for sponsors of our podcast. If you are a business, if you're a new business looking for more clientele, one of the best ways for you to do that is to sponsor here at this podcast. We are in over 450 cities worldwide, and that will help get your name out, get your image out, and what you do out. All you've got to do is contact us at TMRelationshiptherapy at gmail.com and we will get you all the information you need to make a decision for sponsoring on our podcast. Back to your regularly scheduled programming. There are times when we as individuals find ourselves as gluttons for pain. We're told not to do something and we respond by doing it anyway. It seems we don't mind suffering the consequences for our actions. It's like we enjoy being that person who relishes in our pain. The plot thickens when that same attitude follows us into our relationships. We never want to give up the relationship that continues to bring us to the threshold of despair. We stay in the pain and it might just be too long as our world continues to crash all around us. The Relationship Therapy Podcast will give us the answers we need in order to find relief.

SPEAKER_00: 1:56

You've tuned into the Relationship Therapy Podcast with Tony Miller Sr. A podcast designed for couples who are married, couples who are dating, and have marriage in their future. We will guide you to the principles that will make your relationship better. Stick around.

SPEAKER_01: 2:40

We're back again with some more stuff. In this episode, we're going to finish our search from the last episode. And that is, we're searching for the signs when to stop holding on to what's hurting you. We'll give you part two today. And I gave you three signs in the last episode, but I'm going to finish the mission by giving you three more signs so that you can spot what's going on and it will let you know it might be time to end that relationship. Let me say this: it's never easy to let go of that special someone. However, when that special someone is habitually causing you harm or drama, it might be your time to look to leave and find some happiness for yourself. Even it's if it's all by yourself. As the saying goes, I can do bad all by myself. And you can do better all by yourself. Don't linger in a relationship that is not producing positive things, but instead it's producing negative and hurtful things. So let's go into this week's uh three points that we want to give you as we talk about the signs, when to stop holding on to what's hurting you, part two. So let's go ahead and get started with these points. The first one I want to talk about is the first sign is when you both are headed in different directions. This sign should not be difficult for us to see. But in reality, I believe we see it, but don't see it. And what I mean by that is we're always thinking that that particular thing will change the deeper we go into the relationship. And by the time that we're married, we're expecting it to be gone, but it's still right there. When you and your mate are headed in different directions, it will cause a major strain on your relationship, one that you may never recover from. Talking to them may not change their direction, especially if they're gun ho on doing that and it's made up in their mind. You changing your direction just for them isn't healthy either. It's going to cause you to be disgruntled. It's going to cause you to be frustrated. And eventually the real you will pop up, and there will be a drastic breakdown and even a breakup. What it is that causes the two of you to go in different directions. See, it happens so subtly, your mates' interests are piqued by something or someone who has exposed them to something that they've never been attracted to in the first place. Now that might be all that they think about. This drastic change automatically warrants a question from you. And that is when all of the disruption starts. Because now it seems like you're badgering them or nagging them, and they don't want to deal with you when you're in that state. You're now tugging for attention, and all of their attention has been focused on that new shiny interest. It could very well be a new relationship, or maybe just a new activity that they have gotten themselves into, and now it's a great interest in their lives. Or they might just want to find a major change in their relationship or in their lives, and they don't want you in it. Whatever it is, you find the different directions too taxing on your relationship. No matter how hard you try, the different directions will not line back up. And before you know it, you're hanging on just for old time's sake, and you're left empty inside, confused, and feeling left all alone. Even though the signs were there in the first place, you ignored them, and you're back in the same old cycle of life by yourself and experiencing excruciating pain. Here's number two. The second sign is when you are making too many sacrifices and compromises. You giving in to them every time is not healthy for you, nor for your relationship. There are two people involved in this relationship, but it seems like only one is enjoying it, and that person is not you. I believe it is disrespectful to never consider the feelings of your mate. It's selfishness at work, and that individual should not be even be in a relationship with you. When they are always taking but never giving, they're acting like narcissists. All they want to do is dominate you and the entire relationship. If you allow them to get away with it, you are in for some very restless nights and even some dark days ahead. You're not in a relationship, you're in a dictatorship. He or she will take advantage of you at every single turn during your relationship. And that's why I say when it's too many sacrifices or compromises on your part, that should be a sign for you. Sacrificing means that you're giving up your immediate preferences and goals for the good of another person's well-being and happiness. And it's okay to have some sacrifices every now and then. But like I said in previous episodes, it has to be both ways. Did you hear that? It has to be both ways. Giving up my preference for the good of the other is the way that I help the relationship go forward. But if the other person is never giving in, never giving into what they want to do and sacrificing it for you, it should be something that you see clear as day. It's your relationship. You should have some voice in it as well as the other person. But then when we talk about compromise, compromise happens when both people consistently give up something to come to an agreement in the relationship. Some people call it meeting halfway. And sometimes it's not even meeting halfway. It might just be meeting a quarter of the way. But at least you see that they're trying. The definition said both people giving up something for the sake and for the security of the relationship. If your significant other is not working toward that, or at least trying to work in compromise, they're really flashing a huge sign for you to see that this is how it's always going to be. And that's a danger sign. Never allow your feelings to get in the way of your mental health. You can recover from a broken relationship, and you're going to have to distance yourself from the one that you're currently in if they're not able to sacrifice or compromise. Don't go down with the ship if that person won't help you or meet you somewhere in the middle. So so far, we talked about when you both are headed in different directions. The second sign we talked about is when you're making too many sacrifices and compromises. And here's the final point is when you are never the priority in the relationship. Relationships are meant to add to our happiness, not take it away. But if our significant other is always treating us as an afterthought and not respecting our wants and needs, this can start to make us feel unhappy and even lower our confidence and self-esteem. Relationships are there to have companionship. Companionship can't happen if you're not the priority in the relationship. Let me tell you what I mean by priority. That is putting your mate first for his or her needs to be met. You want to make sure you're adjusting to their feelings and their well-being. If they're not taking that type of priority or placing that type of priority with you in this relationship, my brother or my sister, you are in the wrong relationship. See, you get involved in relationships to experience love in special ways. The trouble begins if you start slipping into the background of the relationship. It's as if your extra baggage for your make to pick up whenever they feel like picking it up. This type of relationship will be hard to continue if you're always overlooked that way. You should never be overlooked because you should be special enough to make a priority. Having a consistent and refreshing relationship is hard enough when there is constant um and and and attention made, but it's going to be impossible to keep the love flowing when you're caught up in the back row seating. This is a tremendously strong sign that the relationship won't last to get to the future. We have to start believing people when they display to us who they are and where we fit into their world. You deserve to be in a loving, appreciated, and special relationship. Let me say that again because I what I have witnessed, so many people are clinging in relationships that are not healthy for them mentally and even uh socially or emotionally. They linger too long and then they become damaged goods for all their other future relationships. So don't just hang on. You deserve to be in a loving, appreciated, and special relationship. My brothers and sisters, please do not settle for less. Demand to be the priority in your relationship. After all, it is your relationship. Well, that's all I've got for you as we talk about the different things when it comes to these types of relationships, and it's time to let go of them. You've got to make it known for yourself that you see the signs when to stop holding on to what's hurting you. Don't live your life in pain just to say to your friends you have a boo. You matter. So don't just take anything, make your relationship the best it can be. And as I close, just remember it takes two to make a relationship work.

SPEAKER_00: 16:09

Thank you for listening to the Relationship Therapy Podcast with Tony Miller Sr. We hope you have enjoyed this episode. Tune in next time for more insight on how to make your relationship better. If you have any questions, please email us at tmrelationship therapy at gmail.com. We would love to hear from you. Until next time, remember, it takes two to make the relationship work.