Supporting Teachers In Our Schools

In this episode we emphasize the need for supporting teachers and educational staff by focusing on their mental and emotional well-being. Discussing the importance of administrators regularly checking in on teachers, overcoming burnout, and creating a supportive culture within schools. I also recommend resources like Dr. Caroline Leaf’s work on mental health and Brene Brown's insights on vulnerability to help teachers improve their overall well-being. Encouraging a proactive approach to fostering positive relationships among staff to create a more engaging and compassionate school environment.

Resources:  Dr. Caroline Leaf https://drleaf.com/
Brene Brown- https://brenebrown.com/

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Transcript

Welcome back to the Peer Purpose Podcast. I'm your host, Bobby Jones,  man. I can tell you the last few episodes have been just a joy in creating. We are going to jump right into this. There is a very, very popular saying, and once I say it, you're going to know what I'm talking about.  It's if you continue to do the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, they usually call that  insanity. 

Well, my fellow public educators,  when are we going to stop doing the same thing over and over again? Today's episode, I'm going to talk about why behavior can no longer be addressed in an everyday public school setting.  Hold on. Just hear me out before you start making judgments. I understand that there has to be consequences for the behavior that's taking place.

However, let me ask you a major question. How is that working out for you? You maybe notice that it's the same kids, day after day, week after week, month after month, cycling with the behavior issues and our behavior policies.  Let me tell you something, the behavior policies aren't working anymore.  Because we're not actually addressing the whole problem.

I know that we think that if we continue putting limits on kids, they're going to all of a sudden start acting better. But I'm telling you from the beginning of time, and I can tell you in my work, the last 10 years of working closely with schools, especially the last four years, seeing behind the scenes, talking to many kids in my research, behavior is not the issue.

We have come to a time, my fellow educators, where we can no longer ignore the fact that we have to make mental and emotional health a part of our everyday school environments. Because if we don't, you're going to continue seeing the problem enhance and the problem get worse. And that's the last thing that I want for you. 

This is why burnout is happening. There's two major reasons burnout is happening. It's because we're doing the same thing over and over again, expecting that different result, but nothing's changing. And we are literally causing our teachers to be able to not manage their classrooms because they're spending a lot of their time, maybe one or two kids per day, probably disrupting their classes.

Some, maybe more depending on where you're at, right? And so their classes are being disrupted. Instructional time is being disrupted. Disrupted. Think about that teacher that's in your office every other day saying, Hey, what are we going to do about Bradley? Bradley keeps disrupting my class. He's not doing his work.

He's always talking back. He's continually  being a problem. And so that's where we have to stop and say, Okay, why is this not working? We have to start asking the right questions. Now, before we really get into the meat of this, I just want this to be heard. This is not a judgment. This is not me saying you have no clue what you're doing.

It's, it's none of that. I promise. I'm simply the outsider looking in and this is what I see and this is what I hear when I talk to not only kids, but schools and administrators and they're like, man, this might be my last year and a lot of  people, teachers, administrators are leaving the professions. We have to ask ourself that question.

Why is that happening?  And we want to point the fingers.  You want to keep pointing at the parents. What's the parents fault? And I will tell you, let me just jump in here for you.  The parents, yes, they're adding to the problem. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm a millennial. I'm 39 years old  and I can tell you that a lot of the kids that are in your schools right now are the millennial kids.

They are the product, the byproduct of my generation. And I can attest to that my generation probably has a lot of unhealed trauma that was never dealt with. I believe we are the last generation that didn't talk about this stuff. We didn't talk about emotional health, mental health. It wasn't a big thing.

Depression was very foreign,  you know, growing up. Yes. I was on Ritalin and stuff like that for my anger and ADD and different things like that. However, there was no education to me behind it all. I remember seeing a counselor when I was younger, but I don't.  I don't remember  the, the basically premise of it and kind of what happened.

I know it didn't really help me. Um,  but I look at the whole thing and I look at. The broad scope. We are now in a position in public schools, y'all, where we can no longer ignore that the emotional mental health is becoming a problem.  And I'm going to throw this out there. I'm very bold in what I say, but I also, I've done the research.

I've seen it.  The programs that you guys are buying for SEL.  And putting those out there for your teachers to run through, which let me just tell you something. A lot of teachers don't feel qualified. They don't feel qualified to teach this stuff because they're, they're under the impression, well, I'm not a counselor.

I'm not a therapist. And again, in one of my last episodes, I said, you know, we, we got to debunk this whole, you need credential to teach this stuff. Now I will tell you, there's certain things that should not be touched. There's certain things that I don't touch since I'm not credentialed. Okay. Uh, sexual abuse is one of them.

I don't touch that topic. Sexual trauma,  what I should say more of, I, I would pass that on to the school because that needs to be handled with delicate care. Addiction I could because I battled addiction for 10 years of my life.  However, I don't really deal with that much in the kids that I see in the schools that I'm in.

And so there's certain things that, yes, we cannot be qualified to teach. But however, if we've been through experience, like I said, experience is the best teacher. If we've been through that, we should be able to at least help someone walk through a couple issues that they're facing. I will tell you firsthand this year, I was in two separate schools in two different states. 

I was in a school in Wyoming and a school in Colorado. My school in Wyoming, I can tell you right now, like the issues were so different than the issues in Colorado that I saw. And I will tell you that the issues were deeper in Wyoming  and these kids need a safe place to land. They need someone that they can talk to.

Otherwise it's going to be lost on them. And this is one of the reasons why they don't like coming to school today. They don't like being in school. School is very, it's very anxiety driven for them.  They don't feel adequate enough. And anytime they get type of any type of performance review, meaning the work that they do from their homework and their tests, and when that performance comes back, not good enough.

It just adds to more shame and low self esteem because of a lot of the stuff that they're dealing with has happened at a young age, right? We know that our families growing up, we've got a lot of things instilled in us. Some of them are good, but some of them are not so good. And a lot of what's happening is that family dynamic that people grew up in, it's being recreated. 

And that's one of the biggest things that I keep seeing, and a lot of our generation today, especially Gen Z, they have no clue where it's all coming from, where the trauma's coming from, why they do the things that they do, why is their behavior like this. You'll be surprised how many kids I actually run across. 

That they literally do not know why they're feeling like they're feeling.  And that is because mental health is very prevalent today.  I don't believe though it's prevalent in the right ways. I think we're using it as a good idea.  And I've said this before and I'll say it again. If we don't become something, it's just only a good idea. 

And so now we have to start addressing, I'm going to call it a crisis. And I will tell you that there's a lot of things out there right now and a lot of organizations and entities that don't know what to do. They have no clue what to do because the normal traditional practices of mental and emotional health are not working. 

However, I will tell you that this young generation, they struggle with trusting. So for them to open up is a big deal. That's why this is going to take some time. It's a process to walk through it. I know everything is, but you may spend a lot of time with a person, especially a young one, before they even start opening up to you, because one of the things that they are looking for, I can tell you firsthand, they are looking for realness.

They're trying to see if you're authentic. And then they want to see if you've experienced it as well.  Cause if they see that you haven't experienced it, they see that you're not authentic. They are not going to open up to you. And one of the things that I want to encourage you even more, and I'm probably going to say it in a lot of episodes going forward is we have to get outside of this thinking that just because we are a teacher or administrator. 

Respect us.  No, it doesn't work like that. I do believe that they really appreciate the work that y'all put in for them. I do. I've seen this in some kids. Like they love when they see teachers and administrators going above and beyond, but I will tell you the majority of them, they  don't really care about that because they are going so haywire inside  that they're just trying to get through the day.

And so it's not even that they're disrespecting you on purpose.  The reality is their internal state is so out of whack that they are really just trying to manage their anxieties, their emotions, and they're trying to figure out half the time, why is this happening?  One of the biggest things I'm seeing is if they can't solve a problem in that moment, it's such a big deal to them because they feel it all needs to be solved right now.

Um, one of the things  that I do when I first start working with the school is there's two things that I mainly do. The first thing is I take away any responsibility for them,  excuse me, let me say it like this.  I take away any opportunity for them not to take responsibility for their lives. And I don't do this in a way that is like harsh.

I do it in a way that empowers them to say, you know what, yes, I am responsible for my life. Thank you.  And the second thing that I do is I try to bring them into the reality of their situation and the reality of their life.  Because what I see is this young generation, a lot of them will deny the reality.

They don't like living in it because for a lot of them it is very painful.  And so as much as this is on the parents to raise the kids right and get those values instilled in them, right? That is where it starts.  The question that I ask you and I'm going to use this analogy of if you're at your home or you're in your office or you're in your school or wherever you're at and someone spills some juice or milk on the floor and they just walk away from it  and you walk by it, a couple other people walk by it.

The question that I ask is how many times are we going to walk by that juice or that milk?  Before someone stops to say, you know what? I don't know who made this mess. I didn't make it,  but I'm going to clean it up.  We have to stop pointing the fingers at each other, at the parents and the parents at the schools and administrators.

Don't get me wrong. Teachers don't get me wrong. I understand in a lot of ways, your hands are tied. There's certain things that parents want from you and there's certain things that they don't. Okay.  I understand that parents want you to take a lot of responsibility.  For the issues that their kids are walking through.

However, when it comes to discipline, they don't like that. Right? I have seen that firsthand,  but at what point do we say, okay,  I guess we're in a position right now where we can either continue  pointing the fingers or we can say, you know what, what are we going to do as a community, as a school  to get to a place where we can start addressing this need,  right?

Obviously we know about. the basic needs being met. Emotional is one of them.  You know, I've been in schools where kids are homeless. So how, you know, how can you get anything out of them? It's, it's hard to, however, I look at the bigger picture and I say, you know what, schools can start taking a bigger step to say, you know what, we're going to bring something and that actually works. 

Why is everything else becoming a part of our everyday culture? But why can't this be,  why don't we want to make this? And I understand we look at. The whole situation of instructional time. And don't get me wrong, that is important. However, the biggest thing that we need to instill in them now, because everything has changed in the society that we've become, we have to give them healthy living skills  and it comes down to how can we do that?

I understand that not every person feels equipped to do that. However, there are people out there that can do that and that are willing to do that, and this is what they were put here to do. And I understand y'all change is hard.  Change is not easy to get to a place  where we say, gosh, you know what, we do need to turn with this, but we just don't know how to do it.

And it's scary, right? Getting away from what we already have known. The system is really deeply rooted, but it's time that we step outside of the system and start looking at the bigger picture.  Okay. I have never met a kid.  That if you invest in them and you pour into them  and you come with earning their trust, I have never met a kid that won't give you an opportunity to speak into their lives.

That's what they're looking for. These young ones need that place where they can go.  And I'm not even talking about as a teacher, like  creating that as far as like spending all your time. What I'm saying simply is get to a position where maybe we spend a little bit more time understanding someone's story. 

A lot of what I see is these kids all have stories cause we all have one  and what it comes down to is their stories not being told  and no one's asking them about their story.  And I truly believe from experience and what I've walked through that healing comes.  When we start addressing our story,  everything we've experienced within the life we've lived has created a dynamic  for us and through us and around us. 

And so when we get to a place where we start recognizing that there's some things that worked really well as we went through life, but there's other things that didn't.  And I know a lot of you will look at yourself and be like, you know what?  I can make changes. You've made changes in your life. You make adjustments.

That's all this is. It's just making adjustments, looking within and say, you know what, there are some things that maybe didn't serve me well growing up. And so that's all. It's just, it's about being validated. We are seeing the behavior issues rise because we're not addressing the root problem. And the root problem is these kids have no idea How to walk through, process, or manage their emotions, let alone self regulate.

Their trauma is too deep. This is why you see this young generation in your schools being mean to each other. This is why you see the bullying at a rise, especially on social media. It's because a lot of them aren't feeling great about themselves, and so they're taking other people. And so we are experiencing something that is going to end up destroying our schools because of this.

A lot of kids are just saying, you know what,  this doesn't help me anyway, let me leave. A couple years ago, 2 million kids left public education.  And that's just crazy to me.  There is starting to be a bigger perspective and a bigger narrative at the forefront. And that's the fact that this has become too stressful for them  and they want to move on from it.

And so what are we going to start doing to say, hey,  we need to start addressing this.  I have been fortunate enough on the journey that I've been on to, to make really amazing relationships and to create really awesome partnerships with administrators in schools. And I've been in schools last four years running the peer purpose mentorship program and it teaches kids about healthy living skills and  you can go check it out on, at my website, bobbyjonesspeaks.

com. I actually did, did a whole relaunch and revamp. And I really love it, but I go into schools and I'm the emotions guy. Actually, that's, the principal called me that this year when they were actually getting ready to take a new job. And they were bringing some of the new candidates through and they, the principal introduced me to one of the candidates.

He's like, hey, this is, he's like basically our walking emotions guy. And I'm the guy that, that's all I do. I go around schools, I get them during the day, okay, during their core classes, it's 30 to 45 minutes and I teach them a lesson about their emotions or their reality and I help them confront that or how do we prepare for failure and then I teach them about relationships, how to get along with each other, what does boundaries look like, what does it mean to be a good friend, all the things and that really breaks up the day for them but it gives them bigger tools.

And then there's a one on one aspect. That has been really fruitful and a lot of kids have found a lot of freedom and healing and breakthrough  within those sessions. And so,  it's worked for a few different schools that I've worked with. And so if it can work for them, it could definitely work for you.

It's just, it's really easy to, to implement. And this isn't a plug for, for me. I'm just simply telling you it can be done.  There is ways to do this and I want to be able to help you. Even if it's not me that you bring in, like I would love to come in. There's something new I'm rolling out. It's called the face to face culture assemblies assessment, where I come into your school for three days.

Go check it out on my website, under services. I come into your school for three days and I, and I give them an assembly so you get a powerful message for the kids. We do like a mock tier two, tier three day where I meet with kids in small group settings and then the next day I spend time with your teachers and I observe the culture and then after I leave the last day, about 72 hours later, three days later, I submit an assessment for you.

I say, this is what I think you need. And there's basically four identifying factors. The first one I see is the problem areas that I've noticed in your school by the conversations and what I've observed. Second one is patterns of themes that I keep seeing pop up. The third thing is the disconnection between the staff and students or the staff and administrators or wherever the disconnection may be.

And the last thing is my recommendation of what I think you need. As well as what I can offer you. And then it's on a severity level, scale one to four, one is the lowest to the four is the highest, you know? And so that's what I want to be able to do for you. I want to come and at least assess your culture to say, Hey, this is where I, what I see here.

And it could just be a value to you just to know where the things are at because you as an administrator,  even as a teacher, you don't see everything that goes on in your school. There may be some things that are happening that you're not aware of. And it's not meaning that you're asleep at the wheel.

It's just meaning you got a lot on your plate. You have to deal with your principal. You have to deal with a lot of paperwork. You have to deal with the behavior, especially in smaller schools. You have to deal with a lot of The parents and different things like that. So you might not catch everything that's going on.

This is why I can come in and say, Hey, these are the things that I see. These things are serving you well, you're already doing this so well. Keep doing that. But these are some things that maybe we could change and it's never, it's never going to be a thing where I say you need to, I'm just gonna say, this is, I'm going to present it to you and it's going to be an invitation.

And so that's where I really think I see public education headed is we have to get more away from the behavior policies and the discipline and focusing on that and say, All right, what's the root issue of this? Why is this kid continually in my office week after week, month after month with the same issues?

There's got to be something deeper here. And this is where the benefit of me being in schools is they can say, Hey, go see Bobby.  And then I can help them. Identify what they're feeling and why they're filling it. That's what I'm really good at. I'm really good at helping them,  basically leading them to the prize to say, Oh my gosh, yes, I didn't even know this was there. 

And I'm going to, I do it in a way that's very empowering to them.  And so we just have to get to a place today where we understand that the issues are actually not the issues. And when we can do that, We'll actually see it as  it can be  corrected.  And that's what I want for you all. I want you guys to get back to loving public education again and remembering why you went back into it.

And here's the deal. I'm not even talking about the simple fact of supporting just the kids.  I've been a firm believer for many years now that we have to support our staff and give them their tools and resources. And I know we're adults, right? We're stuck in our ways. I get it. And so. Your staff initially may push back, but if they realize that you're actually trying to put something in place to help them and their mental and emotional health because they have families, they're going through personal things.

There's a lot of stuff that they're battling and they don't get asked, Hey, how are you really doing? If you can start putting that in place for them, they're going to really see, gosh,  he cares about us. And that's what I want for you all.  I'm just the guy that's here to show you some things and I can help. 

If you see fit, I would love to have a conversation with you. Even if I never work with you, like reach out to me. hello@bobbyjonesspeaks.Com. I'd love to chat with you. You can find me on LinkedIn. Bobby Jones speaks. You can find me on Instagram. Bobby Jones speaks. TikTok. Bobby Jones speaks. I would love to have a conversation with you.

I also have a consulting service. Where you could call in and we could spend an hour together and we can talk about what's going on in your school and it's your hour and I  just listen and then after that I put together a little bit of a report and I send it to you and I give you some feedback. If nothing else, you get a brain dump for a while and you get to bounce something off of someone that's not in the community, that's not in the everyday, and that can actually see it maybe with a fresher perspective.

I do that a lot in my life. I go to people, Hey, what do you think about this? I need kind of fresh eyes on this, fresh ears on this.  We need help and it's okay to admit that.  We can never do anything on our own, nor should we try because it will be a failed attempt time after time.  We can get only so far on our own, but then we've got to bring people in.

We've got to create a community that's going to foster more and impact and empowerment and growth and learning.  And not make it such a, you know what? If you don't do this, it's this. Well, let's, let's look at the deeper issue. And so, I just want to encourage you today that the behavior is really not the problem. 

It's the emotional  root issues that these kids and your teachers are dealing with.  And if we can start pointing at the right things, we're going to actually be in a pretty good position.  One of the things you can do to kind of address where someone's at is you can send out a survey about emotional mental health.

Again, you don't have to be credentialed to assess where things are at. Maybe make a 5 question, 10 question survey for your staff and your students, right? I know you guys have some organizations that come into your school and they do surveys and, There's suicide risk assessments that come out of it and different things like that.

But you can actually do this with your staff to just say, let's assess where we're at. And if you need help with questions, reach out to me. I'd love to give you some questions to ask your staff. You can maybe do this at the beginning of the year so we can assess where they're at. And then at the end, if we put some things in place, You can maybe say, Oh gosh, it actually worked.

And so you can have a little measuring stick. Obviously I know y'all administrators, you love data, right? Data drives all the things that we do. It either keeps us in the things that are working or it takes us out of the things that aren't working. Right. And so this would be some great  measuring sticks of where your staff is actually at. 

Because they'll tell you where they're at, right? Obviously, there's other issues that they may have and bring up if you're a superintendent, but that's not the main focus. We want to take care of them. And so I just wanted to encourage you guys today that let's start looking at the bigger issue. And again, this is all meant in love.

I care about you. I'm so proud of you. The fact that you've taken this role on, it's really cool. I've gained some great friendships amongst teachers, administrators, superintendents, principals, school board members, all the above. And I love seeing you guys heart for your communities and your school and your young ones. 

If there's any way that I can help enhance that with maybe even this podcast  would love to be able to do that. And so as always, reach out, hello@bobbyjonesspeaks.Com. My website is BobbyJonesspeaks.com . Even if you have topics that you'd like to hear me speak on,  I would absolutely love to do that for you and you can email me those as well. 

I want you to remember one thing: we are in this together. This is a journey. It's a marathon. It's definitely not a sprint. There's so much gold inside of you all. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of digging to find it. I'm with you. Keep climbing. And I'll see you next time. Love you