060: From Midlife Unraveling to Empowering Women's Journeys with Devinder Maan
Apr 16, 2024Episode 60
Sunny Lamba
Do you ever feel that you are too old to start something new? Or My life is over, I just need to think of my kids?
My guest today is a powerful woman who started a blog, a non-profit foundation, a business, and an instagram presence at the age of 55.
Devinder Maan, a founder of the Saheli Foundation, shares her story of personal transformation, and it's hard not to be swept away by the tide of inspiration.
Upon becoming an empty nester, at the age of 55, she had two choices. She could sit and sulk or take the opportunity to recreate herself. Choosing the latter, with the help of her younger daughter, she started a non-profit (The Saheli Foundation)to empower young children in need. She spends countless volunteer hours spear heading this foundation that has impacted approximately 5000 children directly.
Embracing her creative side she started a blog called Fabulousfiftyfive with the intent to share all that life had taught her. She also created an instagram presence with the mission to inspire other women. Creating this beautiful community of females encouraged her to do her certification in life coaching through Jay Shetty Certification School.
Be prepared to be moved by her candid tales of motherhood, self-rediscovery, and the beauty of embracing your inner child at any stage of life.
We talked about - Motherhood and the complexities of nurturing oneself amidst the full-time role of raising children - Transitioning to an empty nest and pivoting towards new horizons of purpose and joy. - Delicate fabric of identity and well-being within relationships - Power of self-love to craft healthy choices and set an example that lights the path for future generations.
Devinder's parting wisdom for the next generation is a lantern in the darkness of social media comparisons: cherish gratitude, embrace your true self, and let your unique magic refine the world with beauty, kindness, and love.
Do you ever feel that you are too old to start something new? Or My life is over, I just need to think of my kids?
My guest today is a powerful woman who started a blog, a non-profit foundation, a business, and an instagram presence at the age of 55.
Devinder Maan, a founder of the Saheli Foundation, shares her story of personal transformation, and it's hard not to be swept away by the tide of inspiration.
Upon becoming an empty nester, at the age of 55, she had two choices. She could sit and sulk or take the opportunity to recreate herself. Choosing the latter, with the help of her younger daughter, she started a non-profit (The Saheli Foundation)to empower young children in need. She spends countless volunteer hours spear heading this foundation that has impacted approximately 5000 children directly.
Embracing her creative side she started a blog called Fabulousfiftyfive with the intent to share all that life had taught her. She also created an instagram presence with the mission to inspire other women. Creating this beautiful community of females encouraged her to do her certification in life coaching through Jay Shetty Certification School.
Be prepared to be moved by her candid tales of motherhood, self-rediscovery, and the beauty of embracing your inner child at any stage of life.
We talked about - Motherhood and the complexities of nurturing oneself amidst the full-time role of raising children - Transitioning to an empty nest and pivoting towards new horizons of purpose and joy. - Delicate fabric of identity and well-being within relationships - Power of self-love to craft healthy choices and set an example that lights the path for future generations.
Devinder's parting wisdom for the next generation is a lantern in the darkness of social media comparisons: cherish gratitude, embrace your true self, and let your unique magic refine the world with beauty, kindness, and love.
I have worked with so many clients who think that now they have kids and they should just be okay with their job. They should just continue living this and their passions don't matter. Today, I'm going to talk to a very powerful woman who followed her passion and did not care about her age or what the world would say. Let's dive in. World would say let's dive in. This is Flawthentic Me, a self-love podcast for South Asian women. A place where we celebrate self-love even when we feel imperfect or flawed. A safe space where you can be raw, real and authentic. And here's your host, self-love and mindset coach, Sunny Lamba.
Sunny Lamba:
Welcome back to another episode of Flauthentic Me. I'm your host, Sunny Lamba, and I am talking with an amazing, powerful and gorgeous woman, Devinder Mann. Devinder is a life coach, just like me, but her story is so powerful I'm not going to share the whole story, but I do want to mention that she is the founder of a nonprofit organization called the Saheli Foundation, which empowers young children in need. She spends countless volunteer hours spearheading this foundation and has impacted approximately 5,000 children directly. She also has a blog called Fabulous 55, with the intent to share all that life has taught her. She has a very amazing Instagram presence with the mission to inspire other women. As I said, she's also a life coach. She's certified through Jay Shetty Certification School. Now, being a grandmother, she is living her purpose and her purpose is to inspire other women. Welcome, Navinder.
Devinder Mann:
Thank you so much, Sunny. Thank you for this beautiful conversation. I'm so very excited for this conversation because seven years ago I turned 40.
Sunny Lamba:
And I had this you know, you can call it midlife crisis or you can call it the midlife unraveling where I knew there was more to life. I want to do more. I was in a boring job, I hated every minute of it and that started my journey. And then when I saw you embracing embracing just every part of you and living your passion, I got so inspired. I can't believe it took me so long to bring you on here. That's wonderful. That's so wonderful.
Sunny Lamba:
Let's get straight into your story. I know you shared more with me in the story. I didn't share it because I want you to share that with the listeners. Let's get right into how did you become this life coach today and the whole story of starting the Saheeli Foundation and your blog and everything.
Devinder Mann:
You know all of us talk about the inner child. I think I've been on this journey and when you set foot on a journey with good intention, the universe guides your way. But I give credit to my inner child that has always been alive. There were parts or phases in my life where I was a mother, my husband and I were new immigrants, building our dreams, so that inner child kind of sat quietly in a corner. But every now and then you know she would to just continue on this path, irrelevant of age, irrelevant of cultural beliefs that were raised to go by.
Sunny Lamba:
I, just as you were saying that, I just thought of every single time an inner child has raised her hand and said hey, let's dance today, or I love to dance and I can dance anywhere. Unfortunately, we live in this world where, once you reach a certain age, you don't do those, and I'm not saying you don't dance, but you don't do those things that bring joy to your inner child. And I have danced on the highway, on the street or in the parking lots. If I feel like there's a good music, I am dancing. That's how just my body responds and I love that.
Sunny Lamba:
You said that, because so many women let that inner child really shut down and suppress it because they're supposed to be grownups. Yes, yeah, yeah. So you started. So you, in your bio, you told me that you know you have two wonderful kids. They're six years apart. You have your hubby for over 41 years and then, at the age of 55, when you were an empty nester, tell me what happened.
Devinder Mann:
So I have three children, my. So I have three children. My husband and I have three children. Sorry, no, that's okay. All three are almost six years apart.
Devinder Mann:
So I was literally mothering a joke for 30 years, because when my oldest was 30, that's when my youngest was leaving for university. Wow. And so all those years I was, like I said, I was fully present. That was my purpose in life was to be the best mother that I could be, and it was something that gave me so much joy. It's still something that gives me a lot of joy. You know, you dream with them. You literally every mother would understand. Your life becomes them.
Devinder Mann:
But then at 55, they're all out there. You know, either they're getting their education or they've gotten their education, they're starting their careers, they've moved out, and now here it is, my husband and I, and we had also sold the business that we had been running all those years. So here I was with so much time on my hands and, like I said, I think I just always appreciated that I've had so much gratitude for this life that we've been given. So literally I was like, ok, I have all this time on my hands. What am I going to do with it? So out of that came I had already, with the help of my daughter, registered the Singley Foundation. We had worked on that somewhat. It was out there. But then I still had time. So I actually talked to my kids and said, mom, you should start blogging. And I was like, what is blogging? How Show me. So they showed me a couple of blogs and I kid you not, sunny, it was such a learning curve for me because I didn't know too much about technology. I mean, back in the day I was very good at typing and all that. But you know, I pride myself in being a good learner. So they're like Mom, you can do it.
Devinder Mann:
Because I used to make a lot of books. Like we would go travel. So I'd create a book, tell the entire summary of the trip, along with photos and stuff. So that creative person within me was there and so I said, okay, yeah, let's do this so. And then it was like, okay, what are we going to name it?
Devinder Mann:
So I came up with a lot of different names, but then I realized I was 55. I had all these life experiences. I life had been gracious, and when I was younger I would reach out to other people's experiences If I was struggling with anything or just in general. I've always been very curious, so I thought you know what's experiences if I was struggling with anything or just in general? I've always been very curious, so I thought you know what? I wonder if I could share my story, my experiences, and I wonder if that could benefit someone out there.
Devinder Mann:
And the reason 55 is because I looked at myself and I felt really good. In fact, I felt the best I'd ever felt, because now I had all the time I was going to the gym, my hubby and I were going out for walks, we'd travel, and so there was a lot of confidence. And so I said, okay, and if still on that page it says I'm calling it 55 because I want to feel 55 for the rest of my life. But now I like to correct myself as I age and I don't even have to think for a moment how old I am because I think it's irrelevant. But at 61, I'm like, oh boy, I was so wrong. 61 is exciting. So what I've learned is that life, if you stay open, just keeps being wonderful at every stage of the game.
Devinder Mann:
So yes, so back to your question that that is when I started blogging. And then it was like I said, the universe kind of supports you, I had such a beautiful community. Like I said, the universe kind of supports you, I had such a beautiful community. So much response from women. And then COVID came, and so then I thought, oh, and kids came back like for all of us into the house, and so I was like, okay, what am I going to do? There was so much time for all of us and somehow I came across Jay Shetty Certification School. It was just one of those promotions and it was literally like calling out to me. I had actually heard Jay Shetty speak at one of the Mindvalley conferences that my husband and I attended and I was in awe of the wisdom of this young man.
Devinder Mann:
So, I thought, yeah, if anything, this really calls out to me. So that's when I did become a grandma for the first time. During that time, but I also enrolled into this program and with everyone family, sports and everything it's probably the best thing I did for myself, because before I could serve through this program, I was literally serving myself. I was every single day inspiring to be a better version of myself, and so then that, and also the Instagram, kind of became a part of the blogging, but it's something that I thoroughly enjoy.
Devinder Mann:
I love making the reels and sharing my thoughts and as I grow and I think the best part is, when you are on a platform like that, the person that benefits the most is yourself, because you know, I held myself accountable for every I still do every thought I share. I look at myself and say, am I doing that and not that? I'm always doing that, but I'm striving to do it. And then, yes, I fall, I fail, but I recognize that and say, okay, I'm going to try that again. So you're constantly learning and growing and that's been the beautiful part, and I've worked with so many women as a life coach now and it's just. I feel like that is my renewed purpose. My family is still at the core. They're my center of my universe. But now that my kids don't need me as much, I have this renewed purpose that I wake up with every single day and say, okay, how can I make a difference? Who can I help today? And it's just so fulfilling.
Sunny Lamba:
Wow, so many things you said in there. I love the one line that you said is that when you're on such a platform, the person who's benefiting the most is you, and I can totally resonate with that. Another thing that you said. I have a few clients who I'm working with right now, and one specific scenario comes in mind where one of my clients said oh, it's okay, my life is over, but it's all about kids now, and she's not even 40 yet. She's not even 40.
Devinder Mann:
And I just went.
Sunny Lamba:
What do you mean? Your life is over. Yeah, it's funny. I'm a Bollywood fan and it reminds me that line from DDLJ where Anupam Kher says to Shah Rukh Khan you are a true fan. Says to Shah Rukh Khan if you have lived your life, then go and live my life. You are a true fan, I am a true fan. And he says that you know, if you think that you've lived your life, now it's your time to go live my life, because I sacrificed my life for you. So when I'm listening to what you are saying is that no, age doesn't matter. I have a little art piece in my house and it says age is like a hat it's all in how you wear it, honey. Yes, and that's what it is, it's true.
Sunny Lamba:
And people who think that, oh, I can't learn new skills, all these things. You can't teach an old dog new skills and all those things. And then I look at you at 55, you started a new foundation and then you started a blog and you didn't even know he was like what is a blog? And then you figured it out, even if you, even if you got help from your kids, but you figured it out and you did it. And then you went and got life coaching certification. You went back to school. So I'm just recapping all that with this message for the listeners that if you think your life is over, you got to rethink that, because there's people out there who are, you know, doing things at 85, at 100. I mean, there was Fajah Singh, the runner at 100. He was running, look at him and you are a living example of that. Right. What would you say to someone who thinks that, oh, you know, it's okay, my life is over. I just have to think about the kids now, and they're like 40 years old.
Devinder Mann:
I would say this as women, we're actually a vessel through which a new life comes into existence. But because it's such a commitment on our part, we carry that child for nine months. We literally are responsible for its well-being for the first 10, 8, 9 years, whenever it may be. And once that child is older, we still feel responsible, how that child is going to conduct themselves, who they're going to become. We associate so much of who we are with that child. So it is somewhat natural, because it takes so much out of us to raise that child, of us to raise that child.
Devinder Mann:
But I think in that what we have to say my life is over, it's all about my children. Yes, life, I lived that for 30 years. It was about the children. But it wasn't just about the children, it was the joy I was getting from raising those children. It was how I felt as a mother, it was my purpose. So it is still your life, but your purpose is your children.
Devinder Mann:
And yes, how many times we've sat on the sidelines, you know. But you go swim, go play soccer, go hit that ball, and I see this change in the new moms. But back in the day we kind of just sat in the back and said I'm gonna drive you there, you're gonna go do this, you wash them, you cheer them on, so you didn't partake in any of that, which is is absolutely great. But what I would say, if you're in that stage, fully engaged, be present, enjoy the fact that you know you are able to raise these children. There are so many women out there who would give anything to have a child. So if you're blessed with a child, enjoy. Don't. Don't become a victim that, oh you know. Now, all my life is raising these children. I mean, there's so many moments that elevate us through being with those children. So then, that's one phase of life. And then, when those children are adults, then what we can.
Devinder Mann:
Also, when I say we have two choices, we can look at those children and say, oh, you know, I spent all these years raising you, being there for you, and now you've moved out of the house. What do you mean? You're not coming back? What do you mean you're not giving me, you know, 48 hours each week? And what are we doing? The very children we dearly love? We are pulling them back, we're pulling them down. So not only are we being unfair to ourselves, but we're being unfair to the children that we have raised.
Devinder Mann:
So I think what we have to do is step back, and I think this is where I believe self-love. Like we, society has so many definitions of self-love, but to me, self-love means having gratitude and appreciation for every single breath that you're blessed with, to the day that you no longer breathe. So if you are given 80 years, that self-love is to say I've been given this life. I was raising my children and now they're adults. They have their own life and, of course, I love them and I want to spend time with them. But what can I do with this life that I've been blessed with? And I think one of the things we do is raise the children as women. But we have so much more to offer the world, like once our children are grown up.
Devinder Mann:
That's the reason I looked at starting Saheli. Okay, I had the mission to give my children really good education and travel experiences and be present. That's done. Can I help some other mom out there who's struggling with the same mission but maybe doesn't have the resources? How can I help another child? So, find a purpose. And for everybody that purpose is different. I'm not saying you know, you have to look within and say, ok, what is it that's really important to me, what is it that I can utilize this life and time towards that I feel valued in my life and my children will look at me and feel proud and not feel guilty because now they've moved on, and not feel guilty because now they've moved on Exactly, and that's the best thing that you said at the end is that we're setting an example for our kids, so they can see how we are living our life and they can love themselves.
Sunny Lamba:
Yes, and I love your definition of self-love to have gratitude for every breath that we have and not criticize ourselves and not put ourselves down, and just be grateful for this beautiful, amazing life.
Sunny Lamba:
I just love that. So I'm going to come back to the client I was talking to. Her story was more of that. She's not enjoying her business, her relationship is breaking down, and that's when she said the sentence that, oh, it's okay, it's not about me, it's about the kids, and all that you said, I think, really applies to that. That, yes, it is about the kids. Yes, you, you are living for your kids, but if you are not getting that love back, yes, you're getting the love from your kids, but if your partner you're not being fulfilled, or your partner is putting you down or or there is abuse involved, that's where self-love plays a huge role. And you can't say that I'm going to stay in this marriage because it's all about the kids and continue that abuse, allow that abuse to continue on just because it's about the kids.
Sunny Lamba:
And I think you said it beautifully that, if your purpose is your kids, still you want to make sure that your kids are learning to respect themselves.
Sunny Lamba:
Yes yes, yes, yeah. So tell me what role? And you already told me the definition of self-love a little bit, but what role did self-love play in this whole journey and how did it help you to, especially in our culture? At 55, you're making an Instagram reel. Let's say people are going to question and people are going what are you doing? Forget about 55. Even at 40, when I first made my first video, facebook live there was no Instagram reels and I did a Facebook Live video and I got like messages from family what are you doing? Why are you making videos on Facebook? Why are you putting this stuff out there? So what, you know what I mean. Yes, yes, yes, people will judge, people will judge and they will bring you down.
Sunny Lamba:
When I started my podcast, I still remember this one person who said this exact dialogue to me oh, everyone is doing a podcast these days and I didn't say anything. But when I wanted to say, inside the voice was saying well, you are not, and no one in our family is. I'm the only person in the whole family who has a podcast. So you can't say, oh, everyone is doing a podcast, but instead maybe you should say, wow, good for you, but unfortunately we don't, we bring each other down. What I mean by we is in our culture. There's this tendency or humans, humans in general.
Sunny Lamba:
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Devinder Mann:
I think the whole credit goes to self-love, it goes to having gratitude, it goes to me. See, when I was in college, I was very much on the stage, I was into public speaking, I was doing all of these things. So when this new opportunity came, and while I was raising my children, there were a lot of opportunities that I was asked to do and I turned them down that were like a public platform and I turned them down that were like a public platform. So I think it's just being in tune with who you are, what your talents are, and, again, that 100% boils down to self-love. And I think I've been very fortunate to have been raised by two parents who were not too worried about people's opinion. So I think sometimes I can't take the entire credit. It goes to my hubby, it goes to my parents, it goes to everybody who matters in my life.
Devinder Mann:
And I think what you said about our culture one of the things we have to learn as women is that we worry, we're taught to worry about everyone's opinion and everyone has an opinion. And I read this thing I'm sure you've also read the book Daring Greatly and Brene Brown said this was back in the day about 15 years ago, when I kind of started on this spiritual journey, she said take a little piece of paper, like one by one, and write down names of people whose opinion matters to you Only as many as will fit on that piece of paper. That, to me, was life-changing, because in our culture we don't even realize it. We're like unconsciously, subconsciously, continuously, you know, we meet someone new and we worry what they're going to say. And if they say something we're like oh my gosh, like our value goes down because there's someone who we probably have never met and we'll never meet again said something. So that for me was life changing. To say, wow, yeah, this is my life.
Devinder Mann:
And, honestly, the people who have opinion about other people's lives in such a negative way are the ones who aren't valuing their life. So why does their opinion matter? Now, it isn't easy. I'm not saying it's easy. It takes practice. And that's where I'm, you know, building that mental muscle. We go into the gym to build the physical muscles, but we haven't gotten to a point as a society to say, hey, my mental wellness matters, what I think, how I hold myself back, why I don't do the things that are important to me, is because I'm letting the weight of the society weigh me down and it's a real and that's where I think you know, going on a spiritual journey, listening to podcasts, reading books, hanging out with people that bring the best out of you and letting go of the toxic people like limiting. I've done that from time to time and said, okay, if I, you know, spend time with you and I come back feeling miserable. Well, you know, I great, you're in my life, but I'm not going to choose to spend time with you.
Devinder Mann:
And again that comes back to self-love, setting boundaries, knowing, being self-aware. So I think you know, when we talk about self-awareness, self-love and self-discovery, we have to really incorporate those things into our life. Like we always say, we have appreciation for someone who's been there for us through thick and thin. But if we look at our body, our mind, our soul, that's sort of our entire existence, from the day we're born to the day we die. It's there for us through everything, every up and down, every struggle, and yet we put ourselves last, exactly Like where's the logic right?
Sunny Lamba:
Yeah, yeah, there is no logic. We think that, oh, you know, my husband or my kids, oh, they mean so much, they're there for me all the time. But what about this body which has been with you for the last 47 years in my case and we keep criticizing it and we are so negative towards it.
Sunny Lamba:
It's so, so deep. And then something you said in the beginning was that self-love plays such a big role. But unfortunately, we are always thinking about others opinion and if someone says something we start questioning our worth, and that's, I think it comes from that men are taught to value themselves, value their worth, and they're just valued for even just existing. I mean, you know, times are changing, but if we go back when we were kids, a son is valued just for its existence, while a daughter was valued when she was serving others, when she was the most well-behaved daughter. So then we learn that my value lies outside of me.
Sunny Lamba:
My worth is based on external input.
Devinder Mann:
Yes so.
Sunny Lamba:
I'm so glad that you have been self-aware of that. And I love that, brené Browns. I love that book and I love that, brene Brown's. I love that book. I love that exercise. It's so amazing and if someone wants to really not give any f about what others think, yes, then maybe they should do that exercise, like everyone will always have an opinion no matter what you do.
Devinder Mann:
Yes.
Sunny Lamba:
Yes, wow, so much value and so many nuggets of wisdom you just shared In the last part. I usually do something fun and it's called the rapid fire round. Oh gosh, are you ready? I'm ready. So beach or mountain.
Devinder Mann:
Oh gosh, both. It depends what season, what I mean season of my life, my being not the actual. Sometimes you're down here and sometimes you're way up there, and to be present in both is beautiful, so depends.
Sunny Lamba:
Depends.
Devinder Mann:
I love what I'm craving, what I need.
Sunny Lamba:
Yeah, what, what you need at that time of that season?
Devinder Mann:
I love that.
Sunny Lamba:
Are you an early bird or a night owl?
Devinder Mann:
Are you an early bird or a night owl? Night owl, I'm trying to be an early bird, though.
Sunny Lamba:
Me too. Oh gosh, my brain works so well at night. At night, yes, it's like charged up. Yes, yes. Favorite book that you would recommend over and over and over I think, the Now by Edward Tolley.
Devinder Mann:
But what is even better is Practicing the Now which comes with that book, because it is so simple and you can open any page at any given moment and just truly tune in and then say, oh, that makes sense. I'm going to try and incorporate that.
Sunny Lamba:
When was the last time you cried?
Devinder Mann:
Oh, I'm a crier. That's how I deal with my emotions.
Sunny Lamba:
Yeah.
Devinder Mann:
I don't. Having said that, I am not a public crier, I'm not like. This is the time where, like, I'm well aware of my emotions and when my emotions get cooked up and things happen, I sit with myself in silence and I really try to understand the emotions and a lot of times, or during those times, a lot of times, tears really help me during those times, a lot of times, tears really help me understand the emotion and deal with the emotion. I cry and then I walk out and it's like nothing ever happened to me and I just I think that's my body's way of like working through whatever emotion I might be dealing with.
Sunny Lamba:
Yeah, and I think it works for everyone, because tears are a way for our body to bring balance back, just like when we do breath work and there's like tears coming out because there's so much emotion and emotion is energy in motion. So you've got to release that emotion somehow. Some people go for running, some people scream. Even when you're like you know a lot of pain or something, you can scream or tears and I love that. Yeah, yeah, I have been more aware of my emotions. I actually I was always aware of my emotions. I have, last six months or so, decided to really understand why am I feeling this?
Sunny Lamba:
way and then sit with it and process it and cry or journal or something. So I love that. Okay, a movie that you really, really love.
Devinder Mann:
These are. I'm a romantic at heart and I think that was one of the most beautiful stories ever told.
Sunny Lamba:
Yes, it is. It's such a beautiful story.
Devinder Mann:
And in English too. The Vow was one of my favorite movies oh, I haven't seen that. Again, it's a romantic story. Okay, Romantic story, yeah.
Sunny Lamba:
I have to check that. What is the toughest life lesson you have learned? The toughest?
Devinder Mann:
life lesson yeah, that things happen, both good and bad. Actually, I think that was this previous year 2023, where a lot of things happened that we may call negative, but I don't want to give it that name. I think it's just life in its course, where I lost my mom, but my grandson was born, there were a lot of you know, around the world, so many things happening that would really get to our emotions, and so I think that the biggest thing I learned and this going back to our culture when something bad happens, we say you can't celebrate anything, you can't do anything, can't do anything, don't laugh, don't do this, don't do that. But what I've learned is that our hearts are so big and life doesn't happen like that. Okay, now only bad is going to happen to you. Nothing that's going to happen or something good's happening, so nothing bad can no.
Devinder Mann:
Life just continues being life, and so I think the biggest lesson is open our hearts and tune in. If it's something beautiful, tune in, enjoy it. Like when my grandson was born, it didn't take away from the fact that I had pain in my heart from losing my mom, who was my pillar, or vice versa. I could hold on to every emotion in my heart and fully express it. And if somebody looks at me and says, how come you're giggling or how come you're not crying, cause you just lost your mom, they don't know my emotions and I'm not here to showcase my emotions.
Devinder Mann:
So the biggest lesson is that life is going to bring everything. That's life. So have an open heart and just be present for all of it. There's no good or bad, it's just life. That's the reality of life. Right, what comes must go. Leaves must fall, leaves fall and they go into the soil and they become part of the energy. So nothing really ever goes. It's you know. We're just all part of this big energy and life is nothing but experiences. So experience all of it with an open heart.
Sunny Lamba:
Yeah, it was such an eye-opening statement. You said and you saw me I was writing something as you were talking which really hit me is this whole idea of that just because there was a death in the family, you shouldn't celebrate anything for a whole year. But on the other hand, there's the birth of your grand grandchild and why would I not be happy for this beautiful human being that has just been born? And I've seen so many times this thing that because there's a death in the family, you can't laugh, you can't celebrate anything. But in my own journey I felt laughter is the biggest healer for you.
Devinder Mann:
I feel like.
Sunny Lamba:
I'm healed through laughter. I lost my mother at a very young age and I think laughter has been a huge part of the healing journey. So thank you for saying that.
Devinder Mann:
I wrote that down because I think laughter has been a huge part of the healing journey, so thank you for saying that.
Sunny Lamba:
I wrote that down because I think I want to do a whole podcast episode on that. That is so powerful. Okay, moving on to your next question. All right, all right, one advice that you would give to the next generation embrace life with gratitude and just live it to the next generation.
Devinder Mann:
Embrace life with gratitude and just live it to the fullest.
Sunny Lamba:
Love it. I would, yeah go ahead.
Devinder Mann:
Yeah, I would ask my, I would tell my children and grandchildren to first get to know themselves. That's their first and foremost responsibility. Who are you? Why are you here? What are your gifts, what are your strengths, what can you contribute to this world? Because that's the whole purpose of being here.
Sunny Lamba:
That is just so beautiful, so wonderful. My last question is my favorite question. The name of this podcast is Flawthentic Me, so fill in the blanks I am Flawthentic because Because I have triggers, I lose my temper at times, I have negative thoughts.
Devinder Mann:
At times I have negative thoughts at times. I will judge a situation and I might judge other people. So I am not perfect and I recognize that. I am not the best cook in the world. I am not the best mother in the world. I am not the best mother in the world. I am not the best coach in the world. But I am where I am and I accept myself in my entirety.
Devinder Mann:
My weaknesses, my flaws are what makes me me, as well as my strengths and gifts. So, first and foremost, I have to accept myself. And the truth is none of us are perfect. We just all go around looking at the other, whatever their best, and say, oh my gosh, look at her, look at Sunny. She's got this going and that going and that going. What am I doing? But then Sunny might be looking at someone else and saying, oh look, she's got this and this and this. What am I doing? So this comparison, it just kills the authenticity that we all have. So we all need to just tune into who we are as we are and just be present and do the best that we can.
Sunny Lamba:
That was, I think, one of the best answers I got to that question so far. It was it came straight from your heart and I could feel that. And, unfortunately, social media has its positives because it's given us this place to connect. I mean, what were the chances I would have connected with you if not for Instagram?
Sunny Lamba:
But it also creates this image where everyone is trying to be like the other person, everyone is trying to outdo the other person and comparing themselves. So thank you so much for that beautiful message. At the end, I do want to mention that, devinder, you do have a one-on-one coaching program. So anyone who is, I'll let you say, because I don't want to put words into what do you help women with? So I'll let you say that.
Devinder Mann:
Okay, so I really, when I completed my coaching program, it was a big thing to find your niche and I really struggled with that. So here's my thing is, I am here to help women in every stage, every phase, but what I help with is for us all to heal everything that is at our heart. I've coached young women, I've coached older women, I've coached women, as you said, where we've just been raised to listen to the external forces, and I've had women say I've lost my voice, I have and truly what I call own your magic. That's what I want women to feel that there is that magic within all of us, and if each one of us tune into that magic, this world would be a much more beautiful, kinder. This world would be a much more beautiful, kinder, loving place. And so that is my purpose is to do my part in helping women tune into their authenticity, their power their magic and live life to the fullest.
Sunny Lamba:
That is awesome. So anyone who's listening, if you feel you have lost your voice or you can't find that magic, which that little girl inside you still has, but you have lost it over time, reach out to Devinder. Find her on Instagram. Her Instagram handle is Devinder K Maan. I will share it in the show notes so you have the exact link. Please go follow her. I love, love, love your beautiful dresses that you wear and your beautiful presence on Instagram. You're ever so radiant all the time. Every time I see your reels, I love your outfits, I love the way you walk in those reels and it's just so beautiful. You are an inspiration. Thank you so, so, so much for taking the time to be a guest on here.
Devinder Mann:
Thank you so much, sunny. That just truly makes me feel like I am living my purpose, which is to inspire everyone. So I thank you and you're doing an incredible job, and we all just need to support each other. All just need to support each other, and even with our culture, I think we, as women, we need to really focus on our own strengths, but also appreciate others for their strengths, and that makes the world a better place. Thank you so much for all you do.
Sunny Lamba:
It does. Thank you so, so, so much, and, on that note, this is Sunny and Devinder signing off. Until next time, keep loving yourselves and stay Flauthentic. Thank you for listening to the Flauthentic Me podcast. Did you relate to something or had an aha moment? I would love to hear your thoughts. Connect with me on Instagram at Sunny underscore Lamba. You can also sign up for a newsletter so that you can get weekly tips and tools. Until next time, keep loving yourself and stay Flauthentic.