Ever done a values exercise? For many, it’s an “about 4 or 19 of them, why do you ask?” answer.
We do so many exercises, both professionally and personally, that highlight our values. I know I've done a few over the years, either with a team or as part of a larger part of the organization. If you’re looking to do one, there’s tons of resources out there. Brene Brown has a great list of values to get anyone started in better understanding what theirs may be.
And it is vital we know them because it's part of the foundation from which we should be making decisions and setting boundaries for our career and employee experience. We talk a lot about self-awareness on the show and how much it’s a vital superpower for great leadership. Knowing our values. Embracing our values What means the world to us. That’s a key part of it.
Here's the problem I’ve often seen though. We keep them to ourselves. We don’t tell anyone.
We go through all the exercises, we figure out our values and then… we keep them like they should be some huge secret. Oh, yes I do value trust, communication and work-life balance. Good to know about myself. Now they go in a black box folder in my own personal vault. Door closed.
We’re missing an opportunity. The thing is, they are even more powerful if we share them. Circulate them. Discuss them. Let others embrace them or at least can’t say we didn’t tell them.
How else are we going to learn each other? Connect with each other?
I’m going to share a story I’ve told on the podcast before but I think it bears repeating.
I was going through this exercise with a large group of people. We were all split into different tables, answering all the necessary questions to hone in on our values. This was an interesting one because in one area the exercise walked us through a work/life balance section, connecting our home life with our work life and how our values related to each. As we got to the end, and people taking in this new found knowledge, a woman behind me (we’ll call her Shelly) raised her hand for the facilitator to see to ask a question.
When called upon, she asked, “What if I have a different set of values at home then I do at work?”
This was amazing. Because you really shouldn’t. It’s not like your family is a priority value at home but suddenly not at work. But what this really highlighted was that she had to become a different person in the workplace. She was not only NOT bringing herself to work, she was creating a whole other persona to fit in.
Now that is a WHOLE other conversation as to why she would need to, or think she needed to, do that. But what I want to highlight is that she shared her values so we could understand her better. In this case, it highlighted a pretty big issue. But what if she’d kept that to herself? What if she didn’t feel safe to share? Then the issue would persist.
She wouldn’t be true to herself. The real value in values is helping others understand us through them. Who we are. What matters to us. What doesn’t matter to us. How we’re motivated. Where our boundaries are. At the very least, it can start a conversation in how our values overlap across our team, how they connect to the company values, and more.
So share. But why? Well there are loads of benefits, such as:
1. Building Authentic Relationships: we can get to know the "real" us beyond just the professional facade. This authenticity can lead to stronger, more genuine workplace relationships.
2. Fostering Trust: when our colleagues understand where we're coming from and what drives us, they are more likely to trust our actions and decisions because they know our motivations. Not sure if you know but trust is foundational to effective teamwork and collaboration.
3. Avoiding Misinterpretations: sharing our core values can provide context for our behavior and decisions. When others know what we prioritize and value, they are less likely to misinterpret our actions or motivations.
4. Valuing Diverse Perspectives: teams can appreciate the diversity of thought, backgrounds, and experiences. This diversity is crucial for innovation and effective problem-solving.
5. Aligning Career Goals: by understanding personal values, both leaders and employees can tailor professional development opportunities to align with what's most meaningful to the individual.
6. Improved Collaboration: it can help in assigning roles, tasks, and projects. When individuals work on tasks that align with their values, they are often more passionate and committed, leading to better outcomes.
7. Conflict Resolution: In the event of disagreements or conflicts, understanding underlying values can provide context and a basis for resolution. Instead of viewing conflicts as personal clashes, they can be approached as differences in values, which can be discussed, understood, and reconciled.
Why keep something so value to ourselves? By being more open and transparent, we can actually build stronger relationships at work.
It’s up to us as leaders to model this behaviour and provide the environment that allows people like Shelly to share.
Now that’s valuable.
