Our Best Tips On How To Successfully Work From Home–Especially If You Have Kids!

If you're a military spouse, or even if you're just a parent who has to work from home sometimes, you know that it can be challenging to balance work with home life. Juggling kids, housework, and trying to get work done can feel impossible at times! But don't worry–we've got some tips for how to make working from home a little bit easier. Keep listening for our best advice!

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Transcript

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[00:00:41] Erin: Welcome back MilSpouses to another episode of MilSpouse House. Molly, Molly, Molly. I know you're having, I know you're having a rough [00:01:00] day.  

[00:01:01] Molly: Oh yes. And it's so ironic because we had this topic laid out for tips from working from home. And I typed them out on a day that I was feeling. Like I had everything under control and I was like, man, I really do like work so well at home. 

[00:01:18] Like I'm a great working mom. And then this morning I had a rough night with the baby. The baby's cutting, I think three teeth at the same time. I mean, I probably got like an hour consecutive sleep last night. Because she ended up in our bed. The whole shebang! And so I snooze my alarm at five o'clock when I usually wake up and I had a meeting at seven o'clock and I rolled out of bed at 6: 45, which at that point I had to get both children ready for school with my husband's help, thankfully he was still home. And he was taking them to school because of my meeting.  

[00:01:56] But yeah, it was a mad [00:02:00] rush to get everything done. Prior to me having to jump into my meeting at seven and. Yeah, I don't think I've ever made my daughter's lunch so quickly. 

[00:02:10] It was like a record speed of making my daughter's lunch, which is one of my tips is make your child's lunch the night before. So it's one less thing you have to do in the morning. And what did I not do last night? I did not make her lunch. Of course.  

[00:02:26] So I had to make her lunch quickly, make breakfast, get myself dressed and then jump into that meeting. 

[00:02:33] And usually I have at least two hours prior to get everyone ready out the door. But I had 15 minutes this morning and it's like that hamster wheel, like I can catch up, like... I'm already behind and I can't catch up,  

[00:02:49] Erin: And this is why I've told Molly before we started recording, you know, tell the folks how it really is today, because as we do have tips that we [00:03:00] want to share with you. 

[00:03:01] It's all coming from learning experiences. It's all coming from our own rough mornings or rough days. And, we have to acknowledge when we have a rough day and know that it's okay and tomorrow is going to be a new day and we can try again and learn from our mistakes that we've made. 

[00:03:22] So that being said, Molly has some great tips that she's going to do today as well.  

[00:03:31] Molly: Yeah. So I'll tell you what I typically do, to prevent mornings like this morning or days like today like I mentioned, I usually try and prepare at night as much as I can. So whether that's meal prepping for the baby and I for the next day whether that's making my daughter's lunch and my husband's lunch you know, I try and do those type of tasks because it's right when I wake up, it's off to the races, as soon as I wake up and then I [00:04:00] usually don't stop until around 6 or 7. Usually six o'clock is when the baby goes down to sleep. And that's when I can kind of like take a breath. But yeah, so typically around like six to eight o'clock is when I try and prepare. 

[00:04:13] So I try and clean the dishes or clean the house or, do tasks like that to kind of take that off my plate the next day, especially if the next day is no nanny day like Tuesday and Tuesday and Friday, I definitely have to prepare more for those days because yeah, it is definitely go, go, go. 

[00:04:30] Especially when, you know, I try and utilize my time very, very effectively and efficiently on those days. So that I can get a really good amount of work done. I love meal prepping when I can, and it can be as simple as, you know, I'll make pasta and I'll have the leftovers the next day. So making a little bit more for dinner so that I can have it the next day for lunch or making a little bit more because if the baby can [00:05:00] eat whatever I'm cooking for dinner the night before it, you know, same thing. It kind of lasts us the next day. 

[00:05:07] Erin: So what are your weekends like? So you've worked all week. Do you step back from your computer? 

[00:05:14] Do you turn it off? Do you continue to work throughout the weekend? What do you do, Molly?  

[00:05:21] Molly: So I actually have picked up Sunday mornings. I will typically call veterans and do followups. I have a lot of veterans that work similar to my hours. Full-time jobs and they can't get with me during the week. 

[00:05:37] And so I do open up my Sunday mornings. It started off like one or two Sundays a month, but I was so productive. And I was able to reach so many more veterans on those Sundays that I have opened up. I do every Sunday. But that also, you know, I used to feel guilty about it, but then my husband really, really enjoys that one-on-one time with the girls.  

[00:05:57] Oftentimes I have the girls on Saturday a [00:06:00] one-on-one because he's doing homework. So he's still in school. And so a lot of the times he won't be available to us on Saturdays. And so we kind of do like switch on and off, but then I make sure that we do have family time typically on Friday nights. 

[00:06:15] I will completely log off from like Friday night, all the way to Sunday. I try and stay off slack and anything. I, any work communication, I try my best to keep off of it from like the moment I log off on Friday to the moment I log in Sunday morning. So that is like Friday night into Saturday. 

[00:06:35] And all the way to Sunday morning is kind of my break from work. And then also I try and log off at least by noon on Sunday. It's not a full day on Sunday. But then Sundays are kind of the cleaning and getting ready for the week. But I mean, last Sunday, I think last Sunday we went to the beach. 

[00:06:52] So, it really just depends. I do feel like it probably doesn't sound like I have very good balance But we try, we try our best and we're, we're [00:07:00] definitely still trying to figure it out.  

[00:07:01] Erin: I think it's great that you log off for most of the weekend and you get that family time. 

[00:07:06] But you saying that, you know, you need that little bit of extra time on Sunday, so it gives your husband an opportunity to have one-on-one time with his daughters. I think that's a great way to look at it. And I think that's important because I think so often we can feel guilty for taking time away from our family to do work. 

[00:07:28] But in your case, it's actually a positive and it's kind of looked as a gift to your husband to have those moments because he doesn't work from home and he is away throughout the day. So. You're working from home, but you at least can sometimes see your daughters and like, be around them, take them to school and stuff like that. 

[00:07:49] But your husband doesn't really get that opportunity. So that's a really great way of looking at it.  

[00:07:53] Molly: And with that too, I feel like I'm also a better mom on Saturday and Sunday. So Saturday, [00:08:00] all day, and then Sunday afternoon, because I'm not worrying about Monday morning. 

[00:08:04] I've heard it called the Sunday scaries, because everyone's worried about what their email inbox is going to look like on Monday when they log in, you know? And so I noticed that my anxiety is much lower on both Saturday and Sunday night going into Monday when I do work on that Sunday morning, because I have a better feel for what the week looks like, what my Monday looks like, what my inbox is going to look like. So I found that even though I'm technically working more hours, I can be more productive and keep my anxiety low if I do do those additional hours on Sunday morning,  

[00:08:44] Erin: I completely agree and I feel the exact same way. Working from home at night, it also poses its own challenges in of itself. 

[00:08:54] And I also get the Sunday scaries where I'm [00:09:00] nervous because my schedule goes back to night. Where on the weekends I try to shift it back to normal Korean time to be able to spend time with my husband and to hang out with him since we don't get to hang out throughout the week. So I definitely get those Sunday scaries where it's like, oh, I have to get enough sleep. 

[00:09:19] Making sure I get enough sleep is something that always makes me a little bit anxious, just because you have to wake up so early. I have to wake up around these days... it's maybe like 11:30 or midnight. And so I get nervous that I'm going to oversleep or not have enough time when I get up to start my work in the morning. 

[00:09:42] So I've started setting the coffee pot on a timer the night before. And that little thing, the little bit of kindness I'm giving to my future self by doing that has completely changed my mornings.  

[00:09:55] Molly: Absolutely. Yeah. Even this, the small things make the biggest [00:10:00] impact. Like, you know, parents will know you blink and your house is a mess. 

[00:10:06] I got the ball pit out yesterday for my girls. And there are little like the, the balls everywhere. Everywhere. And so last night I was like, okay, this is going to make me anxious. If I walk out in the morning and all of these balls are just everywhere. And so I was like, okay. I told my oldest, I was like, let's see, who can get the most balls into the pit.  

[00:10:34] And then we had a race and we picked up all the balls in like 10 minutes. And I was like, oh my gosh, this would have taken me a lot longer one without her help and two, it would've like, I would've been so mad doing it instead of having it be fun and a game I would have been so mad. I'm doing this in the morning, half asleep, before my coffee that's the last thing I want to do is just to pick up toys in [00:11:00] the morning. 

[00:11:00] And so it's just a small thing that only took 10 minutes, but it made the biggest difference, especially since I woke up late, that would definitely, I mean, the living room would probably still be a mess. That was not on my priority list this morning, if it was a mess.  

[00:11:17] Erin: Well, that's great to engaging your kids in that preparation for the next day is something really positive to start to instill in them. 

[00:11:28] I'm sure having them help you make their lunch for the next day can also get them kind of in that mindset of being prepared and getting yourself ready so you can focus, but it's also like spending time with your kid and engaging with them. Yeah. So .... 

[00:11:46] Molly: That's actually a great idea. 

[00:11:47] I've I literally am thinking like, man, she would love that if she got to help me make her lunch, because then she couldn't get mad when she opened it at school. Cause she knows whats in it. [00:12:00] She picked it out and she knows that mommy helped her. That's a really great idea. I might start that. 

[00:12:06] And then that keeps me on track because some nights, I'm like the last thing I want to do right now is make her lunch. And so I don't do it. And then the morning comes and it's just like, okay, not only do I have to feed myself and the kids, I also have to make for lunch. So it's just one extra task to do in the kitchen. 

[00:12:26] And then it pulls time from getting her ready or something else and it pulls my focus. So that was actually a really great idea is kind of to make it more of a fun thing that her and I do together. Maybe once the baby goes to sleep, you know, that's the first thing we do when the baby goes to sleep is, "Okay the baby's asleep, let's make your lunch."  

[00:12:46] Erin: And it helps with that routine that we were talking about with Kayla last week, that routine, that kids really need at that age, especially when so many things are inconsistent with [00:13:00] the military, it's one of those things that you can kind of keep consistent that little bit of routine, even if it's just having them help you pick out the clothes that they're going to wear the next day, turn it into a game, turn it into an engagement opportunity and they get to be a little bit creative and use their minds to think ahead just a little bit, just a little bit to start to practice that muscle of preparing yourself for the next day. And if it's not a perfect outfit that you would pick out that's okay. It's okay.  

[00:13:35] Molly: It's funny because she goes to a Montessori school and so like most of her classmates and get themselves dressed, Montessori is ... they encourage the kids to be as independent as possible. Like some days I will I'll pick her up and her shoes will be on the wrong feet. But I laugh because I'm like, I know that they didn't help her, you know? And she was probably so proud that she did it all by herself. And, and yeah, they encourage them to [00:14:00] do and be independent and as much as possible. 

[00:14:03] And so a lot of the times when I'm dropping her off, I don't even blink an eye when her outfit is so crazy. Like she's wearing a Tutu over her skirt or something. Because there's another kid there that is dressed equally as crazy and mismatched as she is because that's what they wanted to wear, you know? 

[00:14:21] And so giving her free rein it's a lot easier knowing that her classmates are also in the same type of outfits. 

[00:14:30] Erin: Yeah. I think it's great. I love Montessori schools. My little sister went to one. I used to do children's theater tours and I always loved going to the Montessori schools because everything was on their level. Every shelf, every little sink, every toy, it was all within reach of a child's height. 

[00:14:57] Molly: And I'm thinking in my head too, is, you [00:15:00] know, one part of making her lunch is emptying her lunch that she didn't eat and then cleaning it and then filling it back up. So like she could even help me with that. She could even dump the things that she didn't eat or if it's not something that needs to be refrigerated, we'll put it in a baggie and save it. 

[00:15:18] And she loves the water loves to make a mess. I made what almost four year old doesn't like to make a mess or clean. And so she would love to use the brush and clean it out. Making her lunch could definitely be one of those tasks that I sometimes dislike, but it could definitely be turned around into a fun mommy daughter activity for us to do so I'm going to try it the rest of this week. And then I'll, I'll report back next week on the podcast and let you guys know how it went. 

[00:15:50] Erin: I would love that. I would love to hear her thoughts on it too, like excited by it or confused or  

[00:15:58] Molly: I'll, I'll try and make it her [00:16:00] idea and then she'll love it. 

[00:16:01] She's in that stage right now that like, it's gotta be her idea and so we phrase our questions as such for easier conversation and tasks. We, we play into it quite a bit.  

[00:16:16] But , I wanted to go over kind of a general tips more of like the physical tips than the planning tips, because I actually had a coworker, we were doing a class together and his kids were being loud in the background. 

[00:16:28] And we struck up a conversation and I was like, well, I put a noise machine by my door and he goes, that's genius. I would have never thought of that. What? And so I sent him the Amazon link to, you know, the, the noise machine that I put by my door to drown out any noise while I'm teaching classes or on the phone. 

[00:16:48] Sometimes too, my youngest likes to... well, she's got a good set of lungs on her. Let's just say that. And so oftentimes even if the nanny is trying to keep her happy, she's still very upset. And so that will be distracting. [00:17:00] Cause like it's like that, that motherly pull like, oh, I should go out and see if I can help, you know, and that drowns out my side as well. 

[00:17:08] And so that I can't hear her. And so the I can be more focused on my work. So I just have a little portable sound machine and I just put it right by the door on low and it drowns out so much noise, both directions. So that's my big tip. 

[00:17:23] Baby monitors. So if you don't have a baby monitor or just have one camera, I would definitely invest in another camera. I have one monitor, but two cameras. And so one camera is mounted in her room above her crib. So when she's napping, I can see her. 

[00:17:37] So that's how I can keep a close eye on her when I'm working and she's sleeping. I just have the baby monitor. The other one I have in the living room. And so if I do need to jump on a call or, you know, jump into a meeting and I don't want her right next to me due to sound, if I have to unmute myself I will go and put her, we have like this little hexagon [00:18:00] and it's like a it's like a pack and play, but it's larger and it's right on the floor. So we have this hexagon and I'll put like interesting toys in there. Typically kitchen stuff, because she loves the non toys, so I'll put safe non toys in there, like spatulas or spoons or whatever and then I'll typically put something on the TV. Sometimes it's cocoa melon if I really need her to focus, other times it's like the zoo channel. She loves any cartoon, any movement, cartoon colors. And so sometimes I'll throw that up on the TV and oftentimes she'll just play independently sometimes for like up to upwards of 45 minutes. 

[00:18:39] Just play independently in her hexagon. While I do work in the next room and I will set up the camera so that I can have eyes on her and have the quiet at the same time in the room. So that has been a game changer ever since she was little is having those two cameras. And the one I have in the living room can go anywhere. 

[00:18:57] Oh when, when [00:19:00] my little one was, probably three months old, I started to use the huckleberry app, of course not sponsored, but gosh, I love this app so much. And you literally track when they eat, when they sleep diaper changes anything you can track it and it makes it into graphs. 

[00:19:20] So you can easily see a pattern and start to make a schedule around the patterns. And so that app helped me so much and I started to use it when I was getting ready to go to work. In terms of like when she was six months is when I started working at home. And so I really tried to use the huckleberry app: one for my convenience in terms of building the schedule when the nanny wasn't here. 

[00:19:46] But I also wanted to give the nanny a general schedule. You know, to follow during the day as well. And so I started to use that app and that app was really, really nice and gave me a baseline of, okay, she usually [00:20:00] naps around this time or she usually wants to eat around this time. So I'll have the nanny start to look for her sleepy cues at, around this time, or I'll make sure the nanny knows that she typically likes to nurse around this time and then I'll build my schedule around that. 

[00:20:17] Erin: Wow. That's amazing. Is it specifically for tracking children's behavior or is it for any behavior? 

[00:20:26] Molly: I think this one is specific to kids, but I don't see why it couldn't be used for anything else. Yeah, it's, it's definitely a great app and the app that I used was free, but there's always an upgrade.  

[00:20:40] I could go on forever with like the sleepy queues and trying to get your baby on a schedule. 

[00:20:45] But there's like a perfect window of opportunity to put your baby down to sleep where they're not too tired, they're not overtired and they're not under tired. So you have like this window and it's typically only about 35 minutes. 

[00:20:59] So if you miss [00:21:00] it, you miss it. And there are definitely some tips to try and put the baby down within that window. And then tips if you miss the window, what to do, whatever. And so that's what I really liked about the app too, is that it allowed me to kind of gauge when that window was going to be based off her sleep the previous day, the previous week, the previous month and kind of track it so that I wouldn't miss that window, which made my life so much easier in terms of the amount of screaming and crying that happened. 

[00:21:29] Erin: That's amazing.  

[00:21:31] Molly: Yeah, it's a really cool app.  

[00:21:33] Erin: Wow.  
 

[00:21:34] Molly: Yeah. Well, that was very helpful when I was first starting. I don't use it anymore. But you know, that was, that was very helpful in terms of figuring out, okay when does she typically nap? That's when I can schedule calls.  

[00:21:48] When is she typically awake? That's when I'll do emails and text messages. And just really building, building around that schedule because when you are a work at home mom, as much as [00:22:00] you want it to be your job first... it's your kid first. You have to make sure that your kid, your child your baby is cared for, and then everything else is second, you know? 

[00:22:12] I always try and make her my priority, but then build creatively around her and her schedule to make sure that I am productive on those days as well.  

[00:22:23] The creativity and the scheduling, and then the prepping. Those would be my top three. If you take one thing from this it's: get creative, come up with a schedule that works for both you and your child or children, and then prep. Help your future self as much as possible when you can. 

[00:22:45] Erin: That's awesome, Molly. Thank you. Thank you for those tips.  

[00:22:49] Molly: Yeah, I have one more tip that I totally forgot that I just said, get a good carrier for your child, if you have young kids, babies, so that they can be on [00:23:00] you and you can still be productive. I got so much done. My baby carrier got so much use when I started working. I mean, if she was in that stage where she didn't want to be put down, even if she was awake, if she was sleeping, sometimes she just wanted to be near me on me and it was so much easier to just give into that and just have her be on me so that I could be more productive. And so get a good carrier and try not to use like, oh, well, my, my baby just wants to be held. I guess I'll just do that tomorrow and not make it an excuse to be like, okay, my baby wants to be held. 

[00:23:39] It's going to be a carrier day. She's going to be on my chest. And you know, when she was young, I would even do calls because when they're young, they don't startle awake easy. I noticed my daughter would sleep heavier, I could like vacuum with her sleeping on my chest and she would not care. 

[00:23:57] If you have really little babies, baby [00:24:00] wearing would be, my top tip. Get a good carrier, get your kid used to it. And that way you can have the best of both worlds. Your baby's happy. You're happy and you can be productive.  

[00:24:08] Erin: I love it. I love it.  

[00:24:10] Molly's giving you great tips on where to start, and then you personalize it. 

[00:24:16] You get creative and make it work for you.  

[00:24:21] Molly: Yeah, that's a good point too is cause I've been doing this for over six months now. So this has been a progression. I had lots of days at the beginning that I questioned whether or not I could do this. This is over six months worth of me trial and erroring everything out.  

[00:24:38] Erin: Yeah. So keep trying, keep trying. Don't give up yet. Don't give up. You can do it. You certainly can. Just keep pushing and give it just a little bit longer. 

[00:24:48] Give yourself a little bit longer to try it out. And you might find that it gets a little bit easier.  

[00:24:55] Molly: Absolutely. The only person that is able to figure it out is you, [00:25:00] you know your situation the best. 

[00:25:02] And so it's going to look a lot different, even if there was another mom in the company that had kids at my age, we would probably still do things differently. No one knows your situation and your role in your job better than you. So the only person that can figure it out is you, you can definitely take tips and tricks from other people, but the only person that can figure it out as you. 

[00:25:24] So definitely don't give up on yourself and just keep trying. Just keep trying until you figure it out because that day will come, that you do figure it out and it does get easier.  

[00:25:34] Erin: Don't let the fear of failure stop you from achieving what you desire.  

[00:25:40] Molly: Absolutely. Couldn't agree more.  

[00:25:42] Erin: MilSpouses thank you for joining us again for another episode, don't forget to follow us, so you don't miss another episode and we'll see you next time from our house to yours. Have a great day.  

[00:25:55] Molly: Bye everyone.  

[00:25:56] Erin: Bye.  
 

[00:25:57]  
 

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