Life to the Max Podcast
"Surviving a Near Fatal Motorcycle Accident" with Young Merc
We're joined by Marcus aka Young Merc, an up-and-coming rapper, who shares his story experiencing a terrible motorcycle accident that nearly ended his life in the blink of an eye!
Throughout our conversation, Young Merc discusses his passion for perfecting his craft with music and the importance of giving your all in everything you do. While Marcus and Max go back and forth discussing their stories of survival and perseverance through unexpected tragedy. Together they truly shed light on the power of humbling moments, and the importance of living life to the fullest despite the adversities we encounter.
Join us for this inspiring and insightful episode as we navigate the valuable lessons we can learn from tragedy, the strength we can gain from overcoming obstacles, and the importance of appreciating life's little moments. Let Young Merc and The Quadfather's stories remind you to stay grateful, stay positive, and never give up.
We're joined by Marcus aka Young Merc, an up-and-coming rapper, who shares his story experiencing a terrible motorcycle accident that nearly ended his life in the blink of an eye!
Throughout our conversation, Young Merc discusses his passion for perfecting his craft with music and the importance of giving your all in everything you do. While Marcus and Max go back and forth discussing their stories of survival and perseverance through unexpected tragedy. Together they truly shed light on the power of humbling moments, and the importance of living life to the fullest despite the adversities we encounter.
Join us for this inspiring and insightful episode as we navigate the valuable lessons we can learn from tragedy, the strength we can gain from overcoming obstacles, and the importance of appreciating life's little moments. Let Young Merc and The Quadfather's stories remind you to stay grateful, stay positive, and never give up.
You hit that though.
Speaker 3:Hey yo, hey yo. Welcome back to another episode of Life, to the Max Max. The weather's finally getting nice, max. We just getting warmed up. We got a guest in the building by the name of young Merck Met this man at a party. People heard that I was a rapper. They said oh, there's another rapper in the party.
Speaker 1:They say yo rap battle him right now.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying. He said man, i get paid to do this. I said what He rap battled me. I had to walk out there with my head low man. I had to walk out there with my head low man. It's the first time ever somebody cooked me at a party. And yo we about to get into this episode with young Merck, the man that disgraced me at a party.
Speaker 4:Oh no, right after the intro Max. Oh, man, appreciate you having me on fellas. Man, it's good to be here, man.
Speaker 1:Right after the intro, right after Max's intro Merck, I'm going to podcast. I don't want no smoke my man.
Speaker 4:Hey shit, blame it on the weed man. Do your thing, my brother Shit.
Speaker 2:You know what I've left in the conversation? I am high as fuck right now and it feels great. It just feels amazing, you know that's good shit. I don't let my life get me down. You know you got to get back up or severe, And I'm paralyzed for a back down, breathing through a machine. but that's going to stop me from following my dreams and doing what I love to do. I don't got any excuse in either shit. Smoke up, smoke up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, Merck brought some flour, You know he's rolling up.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know that's what I do, man, you know. got to bless the mic, got to bless the home. You know what I'm saying. Bless your lungs, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:All that, appreciate y'all having me. Yeah, so after that, if it, even reached my lungs.
Speaker 2:I don't know how it works, I just wing it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it does what it has to do.
Speaker 4:Exactly man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, after I met Merck Max you know I got to know him more I said, oh, he really does this. He's really a battle rapper.
Speaker 1:Went to a couple of his shows and everybody in the venue knows Merck.
Speaker 3:He's the man that walks in. People are like yo, i don't want no smoke. You know he did his motherfucking thing, punchline after punchline. You know I will critique an artist.
Speaker 4:Oh, thanks, merck got it.
Speaker 3:Merck got it. bar for bar Merck got it. That's love, bro. That's good man. So I've been writing for four years. Just know I got something for you. I've been watching your Snapchat every time you slip up. I've been watching you on social media. Every time you give a hint of weakness. Hey, shit, I'm taking notes.
Speaker 4:Hey, that's all good, though man Shit. You know what I'm saying. Let me know, humble me down, bring me back to her. Well, no, no that's love man. I appreciate it. Man. You know I just I do what I can. Man My pops, you know he always told me that you know anything you do, you know you be the best at it, no matter what it is in life. And you know I kind of always try to live by that and apply that to my life.
Speaker 2:And you know, no matter what it is I do You feel me. Yeah, maybe it was true. So when did you take it off rapping Oh?
Speaker 4:shit, i actually started rapping. Well, it's funny, i actually got a similar story that he is like this is back when I was in third grade and you know this was back when we used to beat on the tables with the pans and the pencils making the beats and shit like that. Exactly, exactly, you know. And you know there was a group of tape. You know everybody used to Yo man, spit some bars, spit some bars, bars. And you know everybody going around the table spit their shit And I spits up man. They clowned me bro, it was, it was.
Speaker 4:I ain't even go like it was trash, though It was trash, i can't even remember what, but yeah, it was trash. And I remember they just cooked me so bad, bro, and I was like damn, i had to go home and you know, think about life Like damn, is this really what I want to do? and shit, man. I came back. You know I heard the, the clips, grand and beat. You know I found the instrumental man and I just wrote a nasty 16 man came back to school, spit it. The next day. They went crazy.
Speaker 4:I was like and there was that moment I was like, yeah, bro, i got to do this rap, shit man, and kind of stuck with it, started recording at the age of 13 and shit, my uncle you know he was managing me still managing me got me in the studio and shit and actually laid down my first song called recognized. I performed that for my talent show in the seventh grade.
Speaker 3:That was the first time I performed live And they just man, bro, like just feeling that shit.
Speaker 4:I'm like, damn, it felt like a mini concert. I'm like, damn, this is what this shit feel like, like people going crazy, screaming over your name and shit People running up to you trying to get autographs. I'm like, damn, bro, like this shit is lit man. So after that I just I stuck with it, man, and been over the years, just tried to perfect my craft And you know, i started doing the battle rap thing Like for real, like actually jumped in the green again you know, started battle rap, my very first battle.
Speaker 4:I lost that battle. He fucked me up, but I definitely lost my first battle.
Speaker 3:Well, it takes for him to get humbled one time And you're gonna come back stronger.
Speaker 4:Hey, big facts, man.
Speaker 3:You know?
Speaker 4:yeah, exactly man. You know what I'm saying. I strongly believe in you know. You know down and not outside shit, and you know you said you were a boxer right.
Speaker 2:Exactly Yeah, man, so it's kind of like a boxing ring when you're doing a battle rap. Exactly Sometimes you get a job, sometimes you get a fucking hate maker.
Speaker 4:Exactly, man, that's what I focused on. Man, Like my thing with battle rap, what I noticed, that Yeah, you get like three minutes, two and a half, three minutes around, but the thing is you got to make every punch count in battle rap Like here's the thing like it could be so close bar for bar, but it's going to come back to when they watch it on cam who had more punches in that round.
Speaker 4:So that's why I'm like I mostly always stick Like I try to be punchline bar heavy in anything, rather if it's music, battle, rap, anything like. Because you know, my thing is like I always, like my dad said, you want to be the best at everything, so after you spit a verse, you want to make it feel like there ain't no way that you or anybody could top that verse that you just spit. If you don't feel like that, after you lay something down, you need to go back and trash that shit and go back and do it again.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's that's how I felt in the military. I wanted to be the best at everything you got to. And I was pretty damn close, i think, i don't know, like, like, when it came to, like, physical fitness, all this stuff. I wanted to do the best.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that does know, man. I mean, you know deep inside your soul when you give it 120 percent right, you know what I'm saying. When you push that shit to the max and really do the best you fucking can to where, no matter what the result is you reflect on yourself like yo, i did that big fucking did that.
Speaker 2:But I wanted to be recognized. I wanted a person that is like a fucking mosquito wing, which means private. You know, i want a mosquito wing to be recognized by a battalion commander, right. That's, that's what I want. And I want to do all this stuff I wanted to go to do. I just I just wanted to be the best at everything And you know it was. It's like a mentality, you know, i don't know, yeah, i don't really have that. When I was like, you know, my adolescents to growing up in high school and stuff, like when I got to the military, i was like, fuck all these dudes, but like they're my comrades, exactly.
Speaker 2:But I'm like I want to be noticed, So like it's got to be noticed.
Speaker 4:Exactly, yeah, and I feel that, man, and like you said, you're going to have those moments that that's definitely going to humble you in life And you know, kind of like you know what we were talking about earlier. That's what I was fucked up in a bad motorcycle accident last year. You know, it was just a you're in a motorcycle accident. Oh yeah, man, You honestly could never even tell just by looking at me right now.
Speaker 4:But, yeah, i was literally in the ICU, like on the verge of dying, like I was like minutes from death, type shit Like anything went different that day. Like I did, as wouldn't be here right now You know, i didn't have my gear on If I didn't crash where I crashed at like. Like yeah, if the ambulance didn't respond as quick as they did, like I literally wouldn't be here, bro, like it was same thing for me, yeah.
Speaker 4:And I'm telling you, man, it's just a surreal feeling because it's like you know I was doing my shit. You know I was boxing the physical peak of my life and fitness wise. You know I was doing my rapping thing doing, shows, like you know saying like I was, i was doing it.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying. Like I finally felt, like, you know, i was getting to be where I wanted to be in life. You know I'm saying in over fucking night, bro, like I'm just leaving my job, going home from work, and I'm riding my bike And next thing I know I wake up in a fucking hospital and you know the I got a damn neck brace on. This damn arm is wrapped up all the way to my elbow. I can't feel this damn hand and like I'm just I'm freaking out and shit, like what the fuck? And yeah, the nurses they come in my room, they grab my legs Like you got to stop moving. And I'm like the fuck you mean stop, like that's the worst thing you could tell somebody that's freaking out. You feel me like stop. I'm thinking like what the fuck you mean, stop moving.
Speaker 2:No, for real. Yeah, no, that's. That's how I was when I woke up. I was about to ask you how you woke up. So when I woke up, like I was like trying to move and shit you know, but all I could do was like look around. I saw like you know shit, a ton of wires And I saw like a bunch of machines.
Speaker 2:So she felt like you know, like like just a bunch of like shit. I'm like what the fuck's going on? They're like immediately try to get up. And I couldn't immediately try to move my arms, couldn't. And I felt it like neurologically Like oh yeah, i can move my leg, i can move my arm. You know, like my mom said, you're paralyzed.
Speaker 2:And I tried to move my leg and it felt like I moved it and I was like see I can move, and then she was like accident move And that's what like hit me. I was like holy fuck, you know I'm paralyzed and like just surreal. So yeah, we can see you with your story.
Speaker 4:Oh no, i mean damn. And yeah, I'm sorry to hear that, bro Like that's crazy man, but yeah, that's, that's pretty much what it was, man, i woke up. Yeah, they they started, yeah, they told me stop moving. And I'm like, fuck, you mean, stop moving. Like I'm freaking out, like I'm screaming, like I don't know what, the what hospital I'm even at, like, like I said, i don't even. It was just. The last thing I remember was like right before my accident, i was going through an intersection. They were turning and I could have sworn that. They saw me, like I saw them clear as day. They turn right out in front of me as I was going through the intersection, cut off my line of travel, like crashed into the whip, instantly blacked out. I remember laying on the ground. What was the last image you remember? The last image I literally remember before blacking out was like, literally, i felt the impact, like moment before the impact. I literally remember laying like this on the ground, like literally just flashes of, like pieces of my bike everywhere, Like I said lasting.
Speaker 4:And after that I remembered rolling me on the stretcher like, stay with us, buddy, you gonna be okay. Like like, stay with us. Like I said, i'm completely, i'm combobulated, bro, i don't know what the fuck happened. Like I said the last thing I remember wake up in the hospital. Like this didn't happen, bro, this is a dream. Like this didn't really happen.
Speaker 4:Like you know what I'm saying, like I'm dreaming right now. This didn't happen And I'm like I'm trying to convince myself like no, bro, this shit ain't real. Like this ain't my life, like you know, like I literally thought my life was fucking over, bro, like, and that was just like you were on the ground, you were in shock. Oh well, i literally, i thought I was gonna die.
Speaker 2:So when you were in shock, was your vision like like kind of blurry and moving, like this, a little bit like circular motions, because that's how it was for me.
Speaker 4:Yeah, exactly That's exactly what it was. It was like, oh shit, like I'm about to die right here.
Speaker 2:But we're able to like move around Yeah like, not like.
Speaker 4:So the shock got you, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:That's how it was for me, Like it was. This is, one of the most terrifying moments of my life is when I woke up and I don't know if we were up to now or not, And like I couldn't talk and I just kept moving my mouth, like Yeah. You know, and all I see is like just fluttered images of you know, red and light. I mean red, yeah, red and blue. And then I woke up three years later, paralyzed.
Speaker 4:Man, well, i definitely know what that felt like. Man, I was thirsty as fuck when I woke up in that bro Cottonmouth, bro didn't have shit on my mouth.
Speaker 2:They're like I was swabs.
Speaker 4:Yeah, because they were like that We can't give you water. Like, yeah, I'm like I need water, Like I'm dying. They're like, no, you got fluids going into you, That's what the IVs are for. And I'm like, no, I need water. Like I can't breathe, Like it's like bro, I literally was flipping out Like give you a flavored bubblegum cotton swab. Exactly, man, and it's like two drops of water And seriously, bro, I literally haven't had a drink. I woke up the next day in the hospital.
Speaker 4:Like I said, I went to two different hospitals. I crashed at one hospital. The one I went to was Alexian Brothers. They not a trauma center.
Speaker 3:They were like you said you crashed right in front of that hospital.
Speaker 4:Well, i crashed at the intersection of Nurgi and Meacham, so that's literally like six, seven minutes down the road from the hospital. So, yeah, so they got me there, they took me to that hospital and they literally just gave me a yeah, yeah blood transfusion.
Speaker 4:I think they flipped my bone, my pelvic bone. They flipped it back, wrapped my body in saran wrap. They put me in a helicopter. I don't remember none of this. After that, bro, after I blacked out and remembered them rolling me in the to put me in an ambulance I remember nothing after that, woke up the next day. So they put me in a helicopter, flew me to Luther in general, like where the actual trauma center is. I was in the ICU and everything, and I don't remember none of that, bro. Like everything was just gone, like people, like man did you feel like you died. I was like bro, literally I feel like I don't remember none of this. I remember flashes and then waking up in a whole different hospital the next day And you know the only thing you see the white light.
Speaker 4:Oh, hell. Yeah, It was one of those. You know when they say your life flashed before you're very burrowed literally.
Speaker 4:I feel like my life flashed before my very eyes, like the moment before I impacted this lady, like it was like you know, you all people talk about motorcycle accidents all the time, but it's like it's one of them things you never actually think what happened to. You type shit Like yeah, it's like I was thinking out of the dumb shit I was doing. You know, going 120 miles an hour, popping willies, doing dumb shit, i would have thought that's something that would have got me fucked up, right? No, it's the day that I'm doing everything right. I'm doing the speed limit, not cutting through cars, doing wild shit. That's the day where I almost get killed on a fucking bike And I feel the same fucking right.
Speaker 4:Right That Max just went to sleep.
Speaker 3:How many times have you been asleep, i?
Speaker 2:drove halfway. I drove halfway, i did the tip of the job, you know. I said wake me up. And we went to. Chicago when we were in the answer.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Fucking woke up. I woke up a little bit during the accident, but that was during shock, Right. I think I was able to say get help, or something like that, And then I blacked out. I think I was pronounced dead. I can't remember the report, but you know I was pronounced dead And then they resuscitated me in the ambulance And you know, I know exactly what you're talking about, which is crazy because a lot of people don't.
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, that's the thing, bro. It's like when I heard about your situation, man, i was like I got to meet this dude man. Because it's like I feel like, as much as I try to talk to my family, my friends you know, everybody that's closest to me, people that love me dearly like I could try to explain it to them, bro, but they'll never get it. Like they don't see life through my lens, you know they don't realize my whole way of life is altered now. Like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Like the shit y'all stressing about, the shit that y'all worried about, you still have control of your life, everything you doing. Like you can change all that, like this shit that happened to me, bro, i can't change this. Like I'm literally at the mercy of time And it's like, even if time like there's a chance that my arm may never come back, i may be like this for the rest of my life. So, like I said, my chances of boxing that's gone. Chances of riding a bike again, that's gone. Like dude going to Topgolf with my homies to swing a golf club, i can't do shit like that. You know what I'm saying The most simple shit in life that you don't even think about that. You use two hands, for It's like, bro, everything is a challenge now.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna steal your segue, max. We asked all the guests you know, with some little, big little things in your life, some big, important little things you know, and Max says breathing. you know he wishes he could breathe again. He took breathing How do you word it? He took advantage.
Speaker 2:I would literally choose breathing over moving my arms.
Speaker 3:Honestly, You said you took breathing for granted. So it was some things.
Speaker 2:I definitely did Like, I feel like breathing is not right. It's saying on a privilege You're lucky if you get to move your arms around, you're lucky if you get to breathe. So quit complaining about like you know, like stupid shit. That like is just like altering your way of thinking, because it could be a lot worse, all the lot worse. You know, rather than you sitting on a couch complaining about a bill or a boy, Yeah facts.
Speaker 3:So I just like So, after your accident, you know what's some little things for the show.
Speaker 4:Oh, bro, come on, man, like I could go down the fucking list, man, but literally, bro, the biggest thing for me was man just being able to wipe my own ass again.
Speaker 4:Like dad, being able to go to a toilet, bro, to literally shit for myself in private, by myself, not needing nobody to fucking watch me and help. Like, bro, it's like it's little things like being able to walk outside and get some fresh air, bro, like literally, bro. I didn't never think that I would be in a wheelchair, bro. That's something that I never thought would happen to me before. Like, I got to rely on somebody to take a sheet and slide me in and out of bed, bro, from a bed to a wheelchair Like that was my life for like a good three and a half month. This is in mind, you, bro, the part that really fucked me up about all this. This happened May 10, 2022, bro. My 30th birthday was June 25, 2022, bro. This happened literally right before my 30th birthday.
Speaker 2:This happened right after my birthday. See man earlier today.
Speaker 3:Max was like I wish someone could just understand what I go through for one day, bro.
Speaker 1:but everything that you're saying, i'm imagining Max like yeah brother you know, bro, like, and that's the thing I'm imagining Max and they're like, yeah, bro, that's like I told you, biggest thing is privacy.
Speaker 2:Like I can't have a girl over, like I can, but like like they're uncomfortable, because I always have like someone here, you know. So if I want to, like you know, just fuck around with her like she doesn't feel like we're, we have privacy. So I've lost a lot of relationships because of that. Well, but I privacy for you because I'm like completely fucked. Like you're, you can move and stuff, but no, no, bro, no bro.
Speaker 4:Bro, here's the thing, man. It's like regardless is like you know what I'm saying Without being a TMI is like my sex life went on to two. It's like you know things that I never would think that, oh man, i need my right arm for it. Like I said, i'm right arm dominant. So it's like for the fact that this is the side that got fucked up. Like I can't say it would have been any better if it was my left side. But it's like, man, bro, it's little things that, like, i took for granted, bro, like being able to sign my damn name. Like I said, my arm was literally propped up on a pillow. I couldn't even feel this arm at all, so, but I was going through so much shit at the time.
Speaker 4:Like I said, this arm was fucked up, wrapped in a cast. I had an external fixator in my pelvis, like anytime I move, bro, like a long ass pen on both sides. Bro is holding my body together, bro, so I literally any movement I do, like I can't literally being able to prop myself up, to lay up on a pillow. I couldn't do that, bro. Like I needed to call the nurse in to do that. It was just the smallest things, bro. It's like I didn't lost all sense of, like you know, independence, bro. It's like I can't do anything for myself. I got to rely on fucking strangers, like literal fucking strangers, to take care of me, to feed me, to help me wipe my own ass. Even, like I said, bro, it was just wow, bro.
Speaker 4:And I'm sitting here thinking like I never realized that this is a reality for people in the world, all around the world, every single day, and I'm just like, oh my God, bro, i did not, like I said the little shit I was sitting here stressing about. Like you said something about a bill or some shit like that. Or man, i got to get this debt paid off. I got to get my car, bro, i literally almost couldn't fucking walk, bro, like that's the only thing I cared about, bro, like I want to be able to use my own legs again.
Speaker 4:And when the doctor told me, it's just like, yeah, you not paralyzed, but this thing in your body is the only thing keeping you together. Like you can't move, you can't fuck this up, because I promise, if you do, you will never walk again. So that shit stuck in my head, bro, like I said, and I just literally sat there like you know my job and shit, like I wasn't thinking about none of that man My whole entire life. I can't use this hand because it's in a full cast and this hand is fucking proud to. So I need somebody to check my phone for me, need somebody to do this, respond for me, like check my social, like literally like another thing.
Speaker 4:I'm a content creator, you know I be, on social media, like that shit didn't matter to me bro. Nothing mattered bro. Nothing in life mattered except getting my life back You're part of the thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're literally like bringing back so many memories for me. Yeah, because that's always for me. Like I had a lot of support on Facebook. I guess people were like telling me, like they were showing me, like all the people that were going to believe that this happened to me and stuff, and I would like I couldn't talk at the time because I have a trig and I don't know why. But like you have to like inflate it sometimes They want the most oxygen in his lungs as possible.
Speaker 3:So they do what's called cuffing and basically inflate the trig so he can't speak But the most oxygen is going to his lungs. It's kind of it's a double edged sword, Like it's good for him But imagine how psychological that is, if you can't speak to the people or can't communicate what you need, especially if you can't move your arms and legs.
Speaker 4:Oh hell yeah man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's what he's talking about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like even social media, like you were talking about the way they turned me and stuff and how I had to have like wedges under me, like, so I don't get a pressure or a sword.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's what.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about. Oh, i'm just like, i mean it was insane. And then, like when they told me what a bowel program was, i didn't like. I was like what the fuck? what the fuck's going on Like I still like hate that part of my life, you know I still, like you know, represent Yeah would you say that the bowel program is one of the most I don't want to say embarrassing, but let's say You know, it's just no privacy.
Speaker 2:It's annoying as fuck. I mean, you won't even get privacy because you have a fucking nerves Finger. Yes, like right, like that's a little thing, but like even.
Speaker 3:When you're getting taken care of in the hospital. What was the number one Biggest headache for you? like, obviously, there's a list. Oh yeah one thing that that just topped the list like damn, this sucks as being part of your care. That's necessary.
Speaker 4:Well, shit, i mean the biggest part, man, was just you never get any sleep or like the bed, though Obviously they tell you when you went when you fucked up, when you sick, when you feel like the best thing for your body is rest Right.
Speaker 3:So how the fuck am.
Speaker 4:I gonna do that when y'all coming in my room every three, four hours bro in the middle of the fucking night. After I just finally fell asleep from all the meds and shit. It's like bro, they oh hi, hi. I'm here, i'm nervous, such and such. I'm here to take your blood pressure, y'all. I'm sorry, i'll be quick. I'm like, bro, like what? the leave me to fuck alone. bro, my blood is the same blood.
Speaker 3:y'all took eight fucking time I'm dying because we were just in the hospital with Max, not too long ago, right. And and they would come in in the middle of the night, you know, wake them up just for just for blood pressure, like why can't you wrap this shit around his arm and fucking do what you got to do?
Speaker 2:The lab always comes in at like 5 am 6 am. They have to pull your blood to see how you're doing. You know like it's. The hospital fucking sucks people over there. I lived in a hospital for a year. It was not terrible, man, it was fucking terrible. I made the best of it. I tried to you like I I can't like I gained this like thing where I'm happy With the people around me, but at night you know like you're when you're alone at night and All I have to like blow in this straw to get a nurse. You know, right, it's fucking scary.
Speaker 2:Right and on top of it. I can't breathe on my own and all he did was use like this not to tie it Like not these rubber bands I have it right now but they would tie like a knot with like shoestring and I would just be like so scared if like this came out and like a nurse doesn't respond. Yeah, I could imagine Like that I'm like fuck, i really have to trust this random person or person that I've got to know. You know, i mean.
Speaker 4:No, man, no, It's gonna happen all episode.
Speaker 3:Anything you say, you gonna bring it right back to Max and y'all just gonna play ping pong. I was see well here's the thing, man.
Speaker 4:It's good to know, like I said, that I wasn't. Like I said, i'm not the only one living that real. Somebody right now is living that reality.
Speaker 3:I'm saying, and it's like shows about to bro like no matter what we go through, bro, we got to keep living life to the max.
Speaker 4:Oh big spread awareness.
Speaker 3:You know saying like life is beautiful. It really matter what type of hand you get you can make the most out of it.
Speaker 4:Absolutely, lulee, bro. That's the really shit. Yeah, well, i didn't go to a well, yeah, i was in a rehab center for like a week, bro, but that place was so fucking shitty, bro I was like there for a year. Oh no, bro, I literally, man, i was going to fuck off every day, bro, treating the shit out of these nurses, bro, they was taking the hand fucking bro, i'm telling you I would wake up
Speaker 4:in the middle of the night, bro, like I said, i was in. My whole fucking body is broken. So, like they had me on the lot. It like every hour, bro, and if y'all know what the lot it feel like, bro, that shit is heroin is what it is like that shit. They give you that shit, man. That's the first thing they gave me when I woke up in the hospital Actually, when I started freaking the fuck out, they came in. They put that shit in my IV, bro, i forgot what I was mad about, bro, like I did. Man, they gave me that shit. I was like bro, and I was on that by the hour.
Speaker 4:But once that shit wore off, bro, i felt all the pain. It felt like I was in the accident all over again. So I'm talking when I needed those meds, bro, i needed them crucial. Like I couldn't wait. These people was taking tan one time. They took almost 25 minutes, bro, to get me my meds. Bro, and I'm in there screaming, bro, in pain, and I'm like I call my parents. Like y'all got to get me to fuck out of here. I'm not standing here another day. I'm going to fuck off on the nurses, the direct, everybody, bro. Like I'm treating people, bro. It's like that, and I'm not to mention like it's you know He called the director of nursing.
Speaker 3:in that bitch He started he started rap battle.
Speaker 4:I'm giving that man bars, bro, the giving them the hottest 16 of his life. Bro, i'm talking like me. Ain't no way y'all can treat people.
Speaker 3:This way when I'm holding this shoddy, it got me limping like my grandma.
Speaker 4:Big thanks, man. Like, come on, man, like I'm like they treat people like this every day, bro, and it's like it ain't just a understaff. Yeah, bro, like I said, i get it shit, we understand, bro, but it's like They don't yeah, help you the nurses.
Speaker 2:Or either good nurses or they're bad.
Speaker 4:Yeah you have a fucking deal with it because it's possible and they're always understand, so they can't help you, or they're in the break room, just yeah yeah, exactly, and it's like there's people in here, bro, that's literally fighting for their fucking lives, man, like y'all, they, they, they got to do something about that for as much money As these fucking hospitals take in. And the craziest part about that is they'll have the nerve to send you about four different Beals from the hospital, from the doctor, from all the talking about you owe them money. It's just like bitch. I didn't ask for this to happen to me. You think I want it to be in the hospital? You think I wanted to take those meds that y'all kept giving me around the clock? like bro, they charge you for everything.
Speaker 4:When something like this happened. Man, you truly learned the importance of having health care.
Speaker 3:Bro, I need to give us a menu like would you like to do a lot? it for 575. Your insurance will cover 400 of its yield. 175 will be responsible for you.
Speaker 2:And would you like to decide?
Speaker 3:every 12 hours because this will be $60 per bag. Fact.
Speaker 2:I felt the same way when I was going what I want to rehab, because I Was the rehabilitation Institute of Chicago and my doctor came in doctor and so any I he's just telling me like all the meds I'm thinking, yeah, i'm like I didn't fucking ask you to give me right.
Speaker 2:And it still pisses me off to this day because I get these a doctor. But I feel like, i feel like As far as muscles spasms go For people who are paralyzed, i feel like they want you to get addicted to the Back of him so like the drug company makes for.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's a hundred percent true, bro.
Speaker 2:That ain't no conspiracy theory and unlike that, that's like factually true, because I was like 12, 14 minutes Every out of it I was I'm fucking Frickin other.
Speaker 3:So the max max is listing all these medications would you say over for the well around 14 14 Oh yeah then when we first went to the hospital to get when he was in septic shock Yeah, he was there for 14 days, right, he had to withdraw from all that, you know.
Speaker 1:So, as you're being paralyzed, neck down cuffs because you can't speak. Remember right right can't speak.
Speaker 3:Going through withdrawals can't move. Can you know?
Speaker 1:I'm saying right when you're going to withdraw. What are you experiencing? Itchy?
Speaker 3:Everybody say yeah, yeah, you know, you want to fucking move you do it So whatever the fuck max went through, bro, i salute that shit that takes mental strength. Thanks as well as anybody else's injury.
Speaker 4:You know not to take away, not to not at all, but no, it's a different type of world. It really is, bro. Like I said, I heard music.
Speaker 3:He's going through withdrawals. He thought he could. You're trying to sleep, right, you're like who the fuck is playing. Audio hallucination.
Speaker 4:I was definitely hallucinating off the shit. I was on like I remember fucking feeling like the tiles and shit was moving. I knew it was a problem when I was that delighted shit. I knew that was a problem with my mom. She came to visit me in the hospital. She woke me up and she was like what are you talking to? Yeah, i'm like I don't know.
Speaker 4:She was like you was literally having a whole conversation with somebody like somebody was responding to me and shit, and I'm just like, yeah, bro. So I got off that delighted shit. Then they moved me to oxy and you know flexor, like bra was on so many fucking man. So, like you said, bro, like 14 different man's, like salt tablets and all this shit cuz my sodium was low like all types of crazy shit.
Speaker 4:They giving me fucking stool softeners and shit, like you know What. Laxatives, yeah, because I wasn't taking shit. Then they gave me too many, they overdosed me or no, so then I was shitting for like 18 hours straight bro. Yes, it was just crazy, but it was hell like.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah exactly, exactly, bro. Yeah, i got a fucking. I got a UTI in shit like because I couldn't piss like I said. My pelvis was fucked up So I had a super pubic catheter going into my bladder and that was the only way I was able to piss like it was. It was wild, bro.
Speaker 2:I have the same thing right now, yeah, so yeah, come on.
Speaker 4:Hey, that's what I'm saying, bro. We, literally you. You get it, bro. Like I said, when I talk to you it's like I know, i ain't got to explain it to you. Like you get it, you know. Sounds like not saying that you don't get it or anybody else I mean.
Speaker 3:I get it because I take care of Max. Exactly, but I feel like this is what people need in the recovery process. You know I'm saying again someone that understands right. You know, max often is like he gets frustrated because he tries to explain His grief to people and they say, oh well, it'll get better, or no, you know, i don't know what they tell you, but the same don't exactly the same, trust me, the same dumb shit that you, and not to mention it ain't that people don't care.
Speaker 4:It's not that they, you know, trying to put you down or just saying be grateful to be a.
Speaker 4:It's the fact that they just literally Don't see it through your eyes. Like you know, i'm saying they'll never be in your shoes, no matter how much they try to imagine it. They could never live a day in your shoes and if they did, it would truly humble them and realize when you say stuff like that, it's truly triggering to us because, like you said, it's like it brings you back mentally like, oh, like well, yeah, thanks, it's like, but that doesn't help me out, like how would you feel if you were in my position and shit It's like it's like telling a depressed person just be happy, just exactly, or tell, or telling a person that's been broke.
Speaker 4:They hold life. Just be rich or get a job.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, you know, i'm saying it's like, like if it's so easy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know I'm saying, if it was so, if it was truly that easy, man, you would see it being done every day. And it's like you know, if these people truly have the like I said, i would hope nobody ever has to go through what I went through. You know, i'm saying cuz that shit is.
Speaker 3:I mean.
Speaker 4:It's still life altering, it's still life changing. like I said, i just Recently was able to find a job that was even willing to hire me because I had a disabled arm, bro, and it's like I never even thought something like that would stop me from getting a job.
Speaker 3:Bro, i'm gonna ask you an unorthodox question. Yeah, what's up, if you're able to answer it. Yeah, after this tragedy Yeah, you know it's such a downhill circumstance of events What are some blessings that came in the midst of all that shit? You know I'm saying what's? something that you've seen, that you a new way of thinking. Maybe you know, like you do you understand? No, i know, i absolutely understand. How would you respond to?
Speaker 4:that All right. So, basically, man, the biggest thing is what you learn when you go through something like that is The little shit. Don't matter bro. Like literally this, every little thing. If it's not gonna help your life or gonna contribute to your life in a positive way, fuck it. Don't give me energy, bro, cause it's like, like I said, it's people out here that's really, you know, grateful to you. Know, like I said, to be breathing, even you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Like just little things like that that we take for granted every day, like I said, being able to move my arm and shit back and forth, like this now. Like little shit like that you take for granted. And it's like you realize it's like there's a whole another way of life that you haven't been living. Like you know what I'm saying When I stepped outside for the first time, i'm hearing the birds chirping. I'm looking at the squirrels and shit. Like you know what I'm saying Watching the wind blow the trees. Like this shit is beautiful. Like you know what I'm saying. Like you really see life for what it is. Like it truly is beautiful. But it's like we get so distracted with these little things like jobs, bills, like how am I gonna do this, how am I gonna do that? But it's like we don't stop to actually appreciate. You know, just waking up the fucking next day.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Like I said, never in my life did I opt for a male. I almost didn't see my 30th birthday, bro. Like I never would have thought that would have happened to me. Like, especially the way it did. So it's like once like something like that happens and it truly alters your life. You realize it's like man, like I really gotta put the most or make the best out of everything that's given. Man, you gotta play the cards you dealt. You know what I'm saying. You can't make excuses, cause you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:If you breathe in the day, if you woke up today, man, you got a job. Like, no matter what it is like, even if it ain't physically, even if it's just to motivate somebody. You know, put something on somebody's heart. You know, make somebody think a different way. you know what I'm saying. Like you know, everybody got a job, man. If you woke up, man, and you know you not contribute in in one way or another, man, you just wasting life, man, and that's truly a sad thing to see. Like people just wasting life, especially when you know somebody like me who almost didn't make it to C-Date 30th. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, So I hope that answers your question. Hell yeah, that's what this podcast is all about, i mean everything you're saying.
Speaker 2:I went through, but in a different way.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 2:So, like that's why I've been quiet this whole episode, Like I'm usually talking, but I'm not because I'm just like reliving everything, Yeah, and like remembering how depressed I was, or like you know, like having friends, you think they're your friends, Right? So when I got home from the hospital because I was there for years, so you know what I was just what I had to do with labs. I had to deal with the fucking blood pressure. Hell yeah, So I never slept. you know like I would sleep, maybe three hours a day.
Speaker 2:That is that? yeah. So when I got home from the hospital, i got a med card for cannabis and I just like started like buying a bunch of stuff. And then, like I hit up like a friend and then, like he showed me a friend and they showed me a friend, and like I just I had all of a sudden started making all these friends and I'm like, oh, these guys are my friends, but really no, they're not. They're just smoking my weed. Right, they're chillin' with me because they're smoking my weed. Maybe they feel something towards me. You know, like maybe, but like at the same time you're doing something bad. You know, like I used to pay for all my friends, all the entertainment friends.
Speaker 2:That's the key word friends right, and then when I like I don't, i don't, like I was, just like, i would blow money like it was nothing, you know, and I would think strippers love me when they don't. I would think girls love me when they don't.
Speaker 3:You know all the wrong. Everything you said made me want to ask Mark as a question. on that note, you know Max said before in the past that tragedy brings people together. You know just like when there's a funeral, bro you'll see, cousins you'll never see otherwise Facts.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. Or a wedding maybe.
Speaker 3:You know so, during your tragedy was how was the support that you experienced? Oh man, How did that affect you?
Speaker 4:I ain't gonna lie, man, it was just, it was unreal. Man, like I said, my family, they, they organized the whole GoFundMe and shit Cause, obviously, man, you know, after some shit like this man, you financially you gonna be in a fucking rut after all the bills and shit come. So, yeah, they organized the GoFundMe, everybody on TikTok and shit. Man, they went crazy. You know they're saying people donated to it And you know what I'm saying. That definitely helped out a lot, man, it truly fucking did. Like cause I mean, i would have ate through basically everything I had, plus my savings and shit.
Speaker 4:Like just trying to live, bro, you know what I'm saying. Like I literally gotta, like I said, life don't stop just because your life is fucked up. That's the crazy thing that people don't realize. You know what I'm saying. Like, oh man, like, yeah, he got into an accident but he'll recover, he'll bounce back. But it's like, bro, you don't realize, like my bills are still coming in. Like you know what I'm saying. Like life, literally, my job, i gotta figure out what my job is gonna do with me. Like, how am I gonna eat for the next fucking year? It's like you know what I'm saying. Like this is real fucking life that I gotta deal with now. These are things that I have to think about, and you know what I'm saying, and it's like when I hear people bitch about like the dumbest, the smallest things. It's like, bro, you truly don't know man.
Speaker 4:You truly don't know. And it's like you say, when I got so much support after all, seeing it, from all my friends, my family, like people who I haven't talked to literally since elementary school, bro, these people reaching out like hey, man, i know we ain't talked in years, but yeah, heard about your situation, man, like I'm sorry for what happened. Man, i donated something to your gold fund me. And it wasn't even about the money, bro, it's just for the fact that people genuinely cared.
Speaker 3:Like you know what?
Speaker 4:I'm saying, and it's like knowing that so many people was like literally hurt for the fact that you know what I'm saying, that I almost died, and it's like, damn, you really realize. It's like man like you making an impact on the world in a positive way. But on the flip side of that, there's also a downside. The people who I thought was my true homies, like when you was talking about, like how you did so much for young, like, yeah, people who I would have took a fucking bullet for bro, Literally wouldn't have thought twice about it. If anything happened to them, i would have took care of these people. Kids, man Like these people didn't even show up to visit me at the hospital, bro. Like didn't even send me a text message. Dog, no, call nothing.
Speaker 2:I'm like, really Like as far as like, did you like rob or anything, like as well or Like nah bro luckily.
Speaker 3:I had like you know what I'm saying, mom? He was talking about the support when he needed it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Like, if you're in the hospital.
Speaker 3:that's like me not showing up to the hospital mix. Like you know, like I just I can't like.
Speaker 2:sometimes I feel like you know, like this is gonna sound really good, but sometimes I feel like people's arrogance, you know, just like they don't realize like how good they have it. Like they're just scrolling through their phone and they're like, oh, this person was in a car accident. That's crazy, you know. and then they go on with their life. Yeah, you know what I mean, like you were just this thing, this information that you just She saw on her phone and then she saw, like a new car or a freaking jewelry or makeup. you know, like she just completely forgets about it. Maybe she thinks about it like a little bit, maybe she thinks about it a little bit, but at the end of the day, they go on with their life and they don't know what you're going through.
Speaker 4:Right. But the thing is that's crazy about that is that if this was them in that situation, there'd be one and all that support, like you know what I'm saying. You scroll right past. They shit, they gonna feel some type of weight in. You know It's easy, you know, for people to, you know, treat you that way.
Speaker 2:But it's like You don't know.
Speaker 4:It's like you don't know and you know and unfortunately it take for you. You know I was always told as a kid, when you hit rock bottom, that's when you truly see who your friends are and who's there for you. And I finally did it. I never thought I would hit it like that, but damn, when I hit rock bottom, it's like damn, the people, like I said, the people who I genuinely loved, bro, like I said, would have taken bullets for it, would have took care of their kids, didn't reach out to me one time and it's like damn, bro, that shit like really fucking hurt.
Speaker 4:You know I'm saying on a different kind of level because you know I'm saying it's like you know, if it was them in that situation, like man, what do you need, bro? Like how can I help you? like anything at all? like I got you like just call me like type shit. You know I'm saying it's like and when you finally see like these people, like if you would have died, damn near, these people didn't actually give a fuck about you, the way that they say they did, it's like damn, you really look at life and it's like I bet. You know I'm saying I hate that it had to be that way. But it's like you know what, i see what it is now And you want to know what. It's still no love laws. I still love them, you know.
Speaker 4:I'm saying I still want the best for them, want the best for their kids. I ain't no hate or type of person, but I know what it is now. You know I'm saying and just know once I get to where I'm trying to be in life.
Speaker 3:Bro, just keep that same energy you know I'm saying It's just that wow factor, like you expected so much more of them, what you got me thinking about. You got my mind racing when you said that people will never see it through your eyes or they'll never understand, like what we talked about earlier in the show. You know it's not just about tragedy or injury or any type of loss. It could be the same thing if you, if you, got a dream with Hold on, let me run, let me run.
Speaker 2:It's not about, it's my misery.
Speaker 3:That's what it's right but it's more than just an accident, like like you want some people to be there but they won't see it like you see it, you know. So, like what you said earlier, max, they just going to keep scrolling, you know, and they go, and they go and focus on their life, because that's what they know. But it's the same thing. It could be the ones you love, it could be the ones you hate. It's the same thing when you try to follow your own dream, whether you're trying to be a rapper, or trying to open up a shoe store, or trying to do be a bar or something, right, right, they'll be the ones closest to you. That'll be like hey, you know, maybe you should get a plan B, or maybe you should go to school.
Speaker 3:Maybe you should do this because they don't see it like you see it right. They will never be as hungry as you are. I'm talking to people right now. Your brother won't be as hungry as you are. Your sister, your mother, your father. They're trying to protect you by telling you not to follow your dreams. You see what I'm saying, right? they're not doing it on purpose, they're not being malicious, right?
Speaker 3:you know I'm saying they just don't see it like you see it so fucking come up with the plan, get through it, get to it and show them. You know I'm saying don't get hurt when the support doesn't come the way you with the way you imagine or want that support to be. And I'm gonna say the same.
Speaker 2:With you in the house. That's easy for you to say, because you've never been in a situation like this right, but I'm talking about the thinking process of shit.
Speaker 3:I'm just not talking about my situation. People process.
Speaker 2:it's both ends, yeah, but the fact of the matter is that no one's gonna understand what you're going through and, like I don't like and feel like because you can walk and do everything. like you know, i'm going through a different situation in my life and, like, you just got me thinking when you were talking, all those people out there that you know don't care the world. you know, like I would die, like I would die just breathing out and for me, like or move my arms, i don't even remember what it feels like to touch a phone, to touch a hamburger. you know, like that's what you got me thinking of. you got me thinking of, like, all these things that were taken away from me. for what, for what? but you know, like we just saw you through it, though we persevere you know this this is it's sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's sad, and but when I didn't move and think about it?
Speaker 4:I'm gonna live my life Exactly, man, you still here for a percent like that's and that's how it should be.
Speaker 2:and I know, like you know, life is falling to place to where I can do these certain things and I can, i mean, shout out to all the people have supported me ever since this happened, because it's a, it's definitely, it's, it's fucking difficult, it's, it's the most difficult thing. I don't know like me and Eric were joking around like, oh, we should tell people to do a challenge where they have to like, basically be paralyzed and like, but they still won't feel what I do?
Speaker 4:They still won't feel compared to the ice bucket. Exactly no, bro like.
Speaker 2:I don't care that sex was taken away from me. I don't care that I can't move my arms, because you know, i know God has a plan for me. That's why it's I'm here to fucking inspire people in you too. On top of it, like I hate being called inspiration, you probably got called inspiration, do you like it?
Speaker 4:Honestly, it made me, it made me feel, it made me feel some type of way like it was, like my inspiration. Yeah, i'm about to say because like I don't feel like it's, i don't even feel like I'm an inspiration to myself, like I feel like shit every day like.
Speaker 4:I'm in pain constantly, like people like Oh, like no, why don't you just take an aspirin or something like no, i'm in fucking nerve pain, like it's internal, like it's nothing that like it's not like a headache or something you could just take a pill for. it's like, even taking medication, i still wake up in the middle of the fucking night with pain and it's like I got to deal with this every fucking day, but it's like you know what. I'm not going to show it, though, because you know I'm saying like I said we persevere, like I got to get through this like you know.
Speaker 4:I'm saying, and the reality is, it's like you know what's fucked up is like with your situation, my situation, my situation, everything that we talking about right now, is people out there who truly just don't give a fuck. Like you know, i'm saying like they really just don't care unless they don't know. But until it happens to them, it's like damn, it's like they world is flipped upside down and it's like damn, it's like it sucks to have to be humbled that way. But sometimes, you know, i feel like everything happens for a reason. It truly does. Rather, if it's, you know, i'm saying it may be a fuck that you may be sitting in your room in the middle of the night. You know, i'm saying just in your thoughts, why did this happen to me? like me, of all people, why did I survive the way I did when most people died? like you know, i'm saying you got all these things. It's just you and your thoughts and you just realize it's like, bro, i'm here. I'm here for a reason and it's like, bro, it was even moments where I literally contemplated suicide. I contemplated suicide even, bro. It's like I thought my life was over, bro. Like I, literally, like I didn't want to live like this man.
Speaker 4:It's like, and I'm just sitting here, like bro, i'm like What the fuck is going on with me, man, it's like the person who I know I am. I would have never thought no shit like that. Like, bro, i'm here. Like bro, it's like, yeah, you was fucked up. Like you down bad, but it's like, bro, you gonna walk again. Like, yeah, it took a long time to get here, but I'm fucking here And I think about, bro, if I would have took that route, and I look at now, i look at how much I would have missed. You know what I'm saying. And that shit give me chills, bro, cause it's like I never thought I would be where I'm at right now. And it's like, and I still don't know where I'm going to be another year from now.
Speaker 4:And it's like, regardless, man, regardless of what hand you dealt, it's like every day that you wake up, man is special And you got to do something with it. We all got the same 24 hours in a day, man, and you know what I'm saying. You got to, you got to be out here, you know, making the best of your time while you here, cause it can truly be gone in a flash bro, that's the real.
Speaker 2:I mean that's that's. I mean that's fine. Yeah, like that's what happens. It sucks Like, but fuck that.
Speaker 3:Fuck that. We persevere, we persevere.
Speaker 2:We get through it. All these people are here, you know. So you and me, we got through it. I mean, i mean I'm not moving, like you know, i'm not being able to like, touch or feel anything, but you know there's different levels, There's different people who are on this position. Right, i'm not going to fuck with you.
Speaker 4:I'm not going to fuck with you, i'm not going to fuck with you.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to fuck with you. I'm not going to fuck with you.
Speaker 2:No, but like, I get what you're saying And I, I guess, like the like, the moral of the story of this podcast is, you know the the shows. There's two people that literally went through the same thing. two people, Yeah, In a different way, but two people around the mic are literally went through the same thing.
Speaker 3:Oh, bro, And there's thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of people that also are not on the mic. They need to hear this shit. You know they're thinking that low point that you just described.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, So hopefully this podcast reaches those people and makes a difference, you know, in a subliminal way, Hopefully like, hopefully it shows other people you know like that, don't know about this, like and they're like wow, holy shit, i didn't know things could happen like that. Oh yeah, i didn't know someone could, like my life can flash before my eyes because I crashed my motor. So, like I didn't know about life's fucking risk every single day. You know, we take risks, you know, and we're. You said you're in pain, i'm in pain, same fucking thing. you know, but we don't show it. No, why, why would we show it? if we keep showing it, we're going to wind like a bunch of bitches. Fuck that. You know what I mean. Live your life, live your life. Live your life from the max. That's why we do this in straight backs. Yeah, do I mean? I feel?
Speaker 3:it Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because if you don't, you let the devil win.
Speaker 4:Big facts, man.
Speaker 2:And I've almost died twice already. Twice I think I've died. I think they said I died and I almost died like six months ago. You know, yeah, and you see your life flash before your eyes and then you're in this like per day commitment where it's like why does this keep happening? Me too, like I didn't know what the fuck. I'm already like this. So, yeah, making worse. Like what did I do? What did I fucking do? Did I ruin someone's life? Did I fuck someone over? Like what the fuck did I do? You felt through your head. You know what I mean. And then at the end, a year later, six months later, you're like wow, i can't believe I got through that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then you end up laughing at the shit, exactly Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I was at a point where Eric had to, like you know, put fucking shit in my mouth and he looked at me and he couldn't like, talk to me. We were trying to watch a movie and like I couldn't watch it because I was having withdrawal, you know, i kept telling him to turn it off, you know. So I mean. So, yeah, we're both ranting, all right, but the biggest thing is to know that life is precious, like you said, you know, and you can literally walk cross street in a car So Eric can get fucking hit.
Speaker 3:No, tomorrow's not promised man. I know y'all hear it. I know y'all hear it, So we'll say it again.
Speaker 2:Tomorrow's not promised and we know that because Kwame.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Shout out to Kwame.
Speaker 4:I was like all right, he's my boy, kwame man.
Speaker 2:You know, we know that, which is weird, because you walked in and you're like, oh shit, you know, kwame, i'm like, yeah, i'm getting really good friends with Cameron Hartley.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you got his picture right above the fireplace.
Speaker 2:Big facts man Right above the fireplace and we went to this funeral.
Speaker 3:We didn't even know we were mutual friends.
Speaker 2:But you know what? he didn't get a chance to do something. Like you and me, we get the chance to do something. Me, i want to be inspiration, motivation, all these people out there that listen to me and show them that you know, yeah, i got dealt with shitty life and I'm fucking basically ahead, you know, and I'm still living my life and I'm still going to keep my like, i'm still going to keep my mood up, you know You got to And still.
Speaker 2:And I feel like my testimony is to tell people that's why I keep coming back, because I feel this gravitational pull and it keeps pulling me back into this world when I feel this peace, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's beautiful Without America. It almost died. And you know he felt the same way. Like you know, when you have to fight for your life, fight physically for your life, through physical movement. Like you know, like damn, like I didn't know when I was couple of years ago about something back then, yeah, you fall back in love with your life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's the only facts, man, i love this shit, hell yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean So yeah.
Speaker 2:So all the people out there, you know, just know that if you're listening in a car right now, be safe. If you're running right now, walking, exercising, just listening, just know that your life can change in a split fucking second. Again, that's facts And I'm sitting here, i'm gonna tell you that And I feel like be warned and be happy at the same time, because it can change, like you said, and we're both going through different trials and tribulations And you know I'm happy you're alive and you were able to come today.
Speaker 3:Like wise bro. Yeah, thanks for sharing your story. You definitely brought a real unique energy over this table.
Speaker 4:And that's love. Hey, man, like I said, man, seeing you, man, and hearing your story as well, man, shit And honestly, man, it motivated me, Like it was the motivation that I didn't know I needed. Man, and it's like you know, it even taught me, like I said, just being grateful. Like I said, even if my arm is fucked up right now, the fact that I can do anything with it at all, like that's something to be grateful for.
Speaker 4:Like you know what I'm saying. It's like you said, it's just life is just precious man Like and you got to take the most for it for what it is. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that's just how it goes And it always, it'll always get better.
Speaker 4:It always gets better Every day.
Speaker 2:well, even though you'll feel down someday. but you know it'll always get better. It's like a stock market It'll always keep going up, but you're going to go down.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I am Yeah. Or like with my grandma, You and me.
Speaker 2:we're both on a roller coaster for life And it's got ups and downs and speeds. It's just fucking loops, all that shit.
Speaker 3:And we could buy hands up on this roller coaster ride.
Speaker 2:What would your grandma say though Oh shit, man, shit, shit.
Speaker 4:Just say like, hey, when it rains it pours, but it can't rain all the time, so I got to shine again at some point. So, yeah, and, like I said, just look forward for them. Sunny days, man, just remember that shit. Like you know, one of them days when you feeling down on yourself, like, and just feel like oh, why me, like, hey, just remember it could always be worse.
Speaker 3:It really could.
Speaker 4:Like it's like I always say like man, it can't get any worse than this, It really fucking can bro. It's like you know what I'm saying Like? so just like, stay positive man, Be around positive people. That's the biggest important thing You're proud of your environment, exactly, man.
Speaker 4:Now, i did not realize, even after I got out of the hospital, man, i didn't realize how many negative people that I had around me, bro, i literally had people fighting over me, like in the hospital, bro, who had the right to come see me, like, or who was there too much visiting me. I'm like, bro, y'all over here fighting about this shit When I'm literally in the hospital, fighting for my fucking life, bro, it's like you realize how truly petty people are And it's like I don't need that around me, man. It's like you know. It's people, like I said, it's people that I lost in my life, that you know what I'm saying That I literally can't ever get back You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Like like Kwame bro, the dude who literally taught me everything I know about street riding, bro, like you know what I'm saying, I was the rider that I was. Because of Kwame bro, like you know what I'm saying, like he taught me everything I know And it's like when he died it was like, damn bro, that shit hit me. Differently, because you know what I'm saying. It's different when it's somebody you know personally like you done, built a bond and shit with that person. And it's like you know from somebody who almost died. It's like damn bro, i could have been gone, just like him, but I'm still here. And it's like you know what I'm saying When I'm here, man, it's like to not take the most of what I got or make the most of what I got left for my time. Man, it's like I'd be doing Kwame injustice. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:The people that I lost, that I love that. You know what I'm saying. That I wish could still be here, that who kids wish they could still be here. You know what I'm saying. Like I'm doing them injustice. Man, you can't, like I said, you can't dwell over the petty shit. You know, like I said, life is going to suck sometimes.
Speaker 4:It really is Like and there ain't nothing we could do about that. Bro, It's life is going to throw you curveballs. You know what I'm saying? It's going to fucking suck. Sometimes, Like people want to say like, oh my God, you know, it's about how you look at it.
Speaker 2:No, sometimes there ain't no answer because shit life just fucking sucks.
Speaker 4:And there ain't no, there ain't nothing that's going to fix it.
Speaker 2:There ain't no excuse, tell me like you know what I'm going through. Like I understand, yeah stuff, but you know what? We're not going to end this. I'm like we're not going to end this. Fuck us on us throwing shade at people.
Speaker 3:No, no man.
Speaker 2:This is more of like education.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Feel educated. So you know like. You know like just going to the hospital makes a difference in someone's life If they go through what you went through, I went through. You know, like sorry, i was fucked.
Speaker 3:No, it's all good. This was like the emotional blueprint of tragedy and recovery.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man, it can always get better, thanks to both of y'all for sharing your testimonies on this episode.
Speaker 3:Yo, that's two minutes over an hour.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but shit, man. Hey, but this your boy, young Merck man, i appreciate y'all having me, man, and I'm living my life to the motherfucking max.
Speaker 3:You sure?
Speaker 1:don't know the sign.
Speaker 3:Yo say it again What's that?
Speaker 4:right here at the camera, say it, it's your boy, young Merck man, I want everybody to live their life to the motherfucking max.
Speaker 1:And you heard it here Play more, feel like I got a dark cloud over me, feel like a needle force got a hold of me. I graduated from the streets but got no degree. I knew the doors to go through but didn't hold the key. My whole life tried to get. Got to notice me. Confess to the mic because I didn't know the priest At this point. Not just one was older me, overdue blessings coming way too slow for me. See, death is the only thing that I didn't fear. I'm grateful to be alive and that's sincere. I should have died in that crash, but I'm still here. Good thing I had a fit body and was in gear. I woke up lost and fucked, thought I had a deer. I know that if I would walk again, that was real fear. But what's ironic and real weird is that I walked away with my life but I ended up in the wheelchair. I went from being a man full of pride who inside thought that he would never need no help To a grown man crying for days because he couldn't even bathe, pissed shit, wiped off feed himself. What did I do to deserve this? I really don't understand it. I broke my neck, ripped some pinkie, i split it and I broke my pelvis for pain. And knock a minute. Right there I'm got nerve damage with bitchin' 225. Now I struggle to make a sandwich And now I'm on to see a therapist. Don't need an intervention.
Speaker 1:I know why I'm depressed. Listen, how would you feel having to fight for your life and have it changed overnight just because some old bitch wasn't paying attention? I hope she get some bad news her next doctor visit Go through that bitch till she ain't got a proper piss in, and after that I need my pockets like Peter Griffin. See, i just want my life back and I'm on a mission Because I got to thrive. This is the part when I bounce back and come take control of my life, because in the moment of weakness I told God to just let me die, but I'm alive, Not talking glory or gain. Or when I say that I will survive. Now I'm going to climb over this obstacle because there's nothing in this world that will stop me from getting what's mine. Feel like I'm back in the cell just sitting in that bitch because I couldn't make bail. Hey, treat you.