Life to the Max Podcast
"Paralyzed Neck Down & FOLLOWING DREAMS" Ft Trey & Max
introduce you to Trey, a quadriplegic whose zest for life is as contagious as his expertise in navigating the gaming world with the aid of a QuadStick. His story isn't just about technology; it's about human connections, the bond with caregivers, and the shared moments that transcend physical limitations.
Embark on a journey through the peaks and valleys of rehabilitation, where emotions run as deep as the relationships that are forged in fire. We tackle the tough conversations about the fear and vulnerability felt in the silence of hospital nights, the unspoken heroism of family members who become caregivers, and the sheer willpower needed to continue education against all odds. This episode isn't about sugarcoating reality; it's a heartfelt reflection on the true grit it takes to master new ways of independence and the milestones that are celebrated along the way, like navigating a wheelchair to prom.
Our narrative comes full circle with stories of resilience, including a serendipitous encounter with Max that led to the creation of this podcast. Tighten your grip on hope as we recall interactions with Make-A-Wish recipients and witness how Tray's unwavering work ethic and determination inspire everyone he meets. This episode is a tapestry woven from threads of perseverance, motivation, and life-changing friendships that showcase the enduring power of the human spirit. So tune in, and let's honor the courage of those who, despite life's battles, continue to push forward and inspire us all.
introduce you to Trey, a quadriplegic whose zest for life is as contagious as his expertise in navigating the gaming world with the aid of a QuadStick. His story isn't just about technology; it's about human connections, the bond with caregivers, and the shared moments that transcend physical limitations.
Embark on a journey through the peaks and valleys of rehabilitation, where emotions run as deep as the relationships that are forged in fire. We tackle the tough conversations about the fear and vulnerability felt in the silence of hospital nights, the unspoken heroism of family members who become caregivers, and the sheer willpower needed to continue education against all odds. This episode isn't about sugarcoating reality; it's a heartfelt reflection on the true grit it takes to master new ways of independence and the milestones that are celebrated along the way, like navigating a wheelchair to prom.
Our narrative comes full circle with stories of resilience, including a serendipitous encounter with Max that led to the creation of this podcast. Tighten your grip on hope as we recall interactions with Make-A-Wish recipients and witness how Tray's unwavering work ethic and determination inspire everyone he meets. This episode is a tapestry woven from threads of perseverance, motivation, and life-changing friendships that showcase the enduring power of the human spirit. So tune in, and let's honor the courage of those who, despite life's battles, continue to push forward and inspire us all.
What do you mean? That's all Except me and Max in the cut.
Speaker 2:We don't give two shifts and we don't give a fuck. That's what we do, and shit to prove we live in life, live in life to the max. Live in life, live in life to the max, to the max, just like my podcast Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to another episode of Life, to the Max. Once upon a time I was like yo, Max, Dave Chappelle's coming to Chicago. Let's go to the United Center and see Dave Chappelle. We get there. I'm looking for my dad. I get Max set up, I leave and while I'm looking for my dad I see Trey, Paralyzed from the neck down, breathing through a machine. I follow in his dreams. I say yo, I gotta get you on a podcast. I gotta get Max acquainted with another quad, another quadripleasure.
Speaker 1:Yeah we're gonna get into Trey's interview right after the intro. Max.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we might be paralyzed for a neck down, breathing through a machine, but that doesn't stop us from following our dreams and doing what we love to do. I don't got an excuse, and neither do you, should you? Let's get into Trey's episode. The first guy I've ever had on the podcast, that's kind of like me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what. I've been saying since the beginning, Because Max would always tell me you don't understand what it's like, I'm like. All right, my goal is to find somebody that understands what it's like Every injury is different, though, every injury is different.
Speaker 2:I told him about my nerve pain. He doesn't have a nerve pain Like his throat.
Speaker 1:All right, next quadripleasure you got to find I'll make sure you have nerve pain.
Speaker 3:I have nerve pain, but not in my throat, In my hands and going down in my legs is real bad, Like keeps me up at night.
Speaker 2:So tell me about yourself, man. What do you answer? You study like football.
Speaker 3:Football, I like basketball, I like gaming, you game.
Speaker 2:How do you game?
Speaker 3:So it's this device, quad stick. Shout out to Fred. I know Fred. Yeah, yeah, lifesaver, I'm able to be on my computer, like when I'm in my bed. I'm also able to do it when I'm in my chair, but most of the time it's when I'm in my bed. You game, what do you play? My favorite game of all time is a game called God of War.
Speaker 2:Everyone knows what God of War is man the best game?
Speaker 3:ever the 2018 version. It's better. Yeah, it's better. I play zombies on Call of Duty Not too much in multiplayer, but the zombies, me and my old nurse used to get down on that I love that.
Speaker 2:I love when a caregiver really spends time with you, because I had a caregiver named Natalia and she was amazing. We would always play video games. She would play Fortnite. I love Fortnite. She would play all these games for me just to watch. People don't realize. It's really the little things like that that make you happy. She would sit right next to me and just play these games. I would feel like I'm playing, you know. So I love that.
Speaker 2:I love when a caregiver bonds with their person, not just with health care, more like treating you like a person. How old are?
Speaker 3:you man Turn 35. August 16th Leo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, shout out to your zodiac sign.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, sir.
Speaker 2:For all those girls out there with astronomy I'm an Aries, so is Eric.
Speaker 1:We're both fire signs A fire podcast.
Speaker 2:Fire podcast for real. So, man, you're paralyzed from an egg down, breathing through a machine. I have to ask how did this happen?
Speaker 3:So March 2nd 2007. I'm with my brother, we're at the house. He asked me hey, you want to go to my aunt's house? How old were you? I was 17. So three months away from graduating, and it's a Friday morning and he's like hey, you want to go smoke? I had to go into work. I'm like, yeah, all right, I'll take you over over there. I needed to. I was trying to fix my radio, so we go over there.
Speaker 2:Where is this?
Speaker 3:Over my aunt's house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, is this Aurora.
Speaker 3:Yeah in Aurora, yeah in Aurora. And I pull in the driveway my older brother. He asked me to back in. So I pull out the driveway and in the corner I see somebody at a stop sign and I'm like this dude don't look like he's up to no good. So I'm going to hit the block instead of pulling out and reversing back in. So when I pull out and I'm about to hit the block, all of a sudden shots Pop, pop, pop, pop. My brother's like go. I hit the gas and turn around towards looking at the car. But as soon as I do that, like all in one motion, I get hit and instantly I'm not able to talk anymore or do anything. I instantly just black out.
Speaker 3:So then you're driving and getting away, and as soon as you turned around, you got hit.
Speaker 1:As soon as you drive, you're like that.
Speaker 2:What's the car still moving?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I hit the gas at the same time and then after that I don't know anything that happened. So you blacked out, I blacked out. When I'm blacking out, my brother tries to press the gas on his own. So he drives away and presses the gas with his hand. He ends up crashing. So I hit the wheel again.
Speaker 3:I wake up again and then my brother gets out the car and gets me out the car. He's like Tray, I love you, I love you. So the girl when we crash, some girl comes out. I remember some girl coming out and my brother was like call 911. Call 911. And then he gets out Tray, I love you, I love you. And then that's when I'm thinking this is it, this is over for the Richard L Winfrey, the third Tray, that's over. I'm thinking Jonathan, give me a hug and a kiss and tell this is my farewell. And then the next thing I can remember is I believe I don't know if this is heaven, I'm at a hospital. But I wake up and I look up and I see the white light. Like everybody Did you see the white light when you're waking up?
Speaker 2:No, not waking up. I saw the white light when I got in the car accident. I was actually sleeping when I got in the car accident and I vividly remember, just like you know, blurring like red, red lights and blue lights and, like you know, like from an ambulance. And then I, like, I tried to stay awake. I couldn't breathe, so my mouth was opening and closing like this, you know, because I couldn't breathe.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Saturation was at 80 and I passed out, saw the white light and then three days later woke up in the hospital. Okay, I'll continue.
Speaker 3:I wake up, see the white light, and I'm like, okay, I'm alive. Then I go right back and then the next thing I wake up. I wake up in the hospital. I don't know if it was doctors around me or angels, or what?
Speaker 2:And you can't feel anything, you can't move, you can't breathe. You can just open your eyes.
Speaker 3:Right. And then the next thing I wake up in the hospital and they saw I had to get. They were going to fly me to Maywood, to Loyola, and like I got sent to my local hospital.
Speaker 3:But then they were going to fly me on a helicopter but the weather wasn't too good, so I remember seeing my cousin Gabe and my homie Kevin and my homie that we'll get to later about my job he comes in and train, train, train. And right before I'm about to go to Maywood, so we're going to a basketball game, my homie he hoops and they had like You're still in the hospital right now.
Speaker 3:Still in the hospital but before, like, getting shot, like so he was supposed to come over my house, like. He got into it with his girl the night before. He was like can I stay tonight? And I'm like, yeah, but in the end he ended up not staying the night or whatever. But they had an important game or whatever. And I guess he was talking to my dad saying like no, I ain't going to the game, or whatever. He, like my dad, ended up talking him into going and playing for the game. He was like I'm going to bring back the net for you, I'm going to bring back the net. And, long story short, they ended up winning the what was it? Sectional or regional, against Batavia, I think? What school? Yeah, east Royale, okay. And they ended up winning and came back like the next day in Maywood like this is after I got transferred, or whatever with the nets around his, around his neck, around his neck and yeah.
Speaker 2:How long were you in the ICU?
Speaker 3:So I stayed in Maywood for like.
Speaker 2:So they flew you no.
Speaker 3:So I ended up going there and then staying there for like two weeks, so before, after, and then after that I had to go to RIC or whatever, but so you're going to, but before that I kept on getting the temperatures and they wouldn't let me. Let me go. So, like the first words I got to speak were to my girlfriend at the time was give me a kiss and got up. It was. It was real hard, like this is when I'm on a passing year and the first word those are my first words and I was like hey, give me a kiss. And then I got to eat Some pizza hut. My dad was got me some pizza hut. Like was my first solid food.
Speaker 2:So, so, let's slow down real quick. So you got to RIC like is this months later because it took me. It took me four months to start eating again and it was terrible. I hated it.
Speaker 3:I couldn't drink. No, so, believe it or not, you know the little personal pizza. I don't know if you did like the book reports Back in the day like we used to get, like these free personal pan pizzas from pizza. I couldn't even finish one, one slice.
Speaker 2:Same here. When I first had my first solid food, it was pasta salad. I couldn't even finish the spoon.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And because my throat muscles were so out, there is so much atrophy in my throat, like there was a week, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it's insane.
Speaker 2:I couldn't even, I couldn't even finish a little personal piece Pizza and something we haven't come into is when I was at the ICU, I only stayed there for like, for like, eight days, but I was ready to leave in five days, right. And when I was at the ICU, they were going to fly me to Rush. Okay, I was in Kakeki, okay, so that's like an hour and a half away from Chicago. So they were going to fly me to Rush, but they heard that I was on a vent, a ventilator.
Speaker 2:So, they said no.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:And I said that broke my heart. But when I was in the ICU I would dream and I would think I'm in boot camp at RIC and that I'm going to get everything back Right. And I have like a sweatshirt on that said RIC on it, and I would wake up and I thought, like you know, the vent was temporary, you know everything. So what I'm trying to ask is what were your thoughts in the ICU?
Speaker 3:I thought I was like I'm a, I'm a person of faith and still to this day, especially, you know, growing up in church and stuff, and you know I had people come, come by and pray for me and stuff, and like I thought, yeah, I thought I thought this was only temporary. You know I'm saying like 16 years later. You know it's crazy how things work out, but really is, and I thought it was temporary too.
Speaker 2:But when the, when the months went on and okay, so when I first had a muscle spasm, I freaked out. I was so excited. I was like, oh my God, I moved my hand Right and I knew I couldn't talk for 15 days. So it was terrifying and I went to RIC and I couldn't talk. It was, it was the most terrifying thing ever.
Speaker 3:Right yeah.
Speaker 2:And yeah, yeah, man, like I lost my strength. I thought I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:No, it's good your spasm, oh my the spasm on my muscle spasm.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh my God, my hand moved Like like I'm going to move again Do you know, what I mean. And then the spasm is starting to get worse and worse throughout the months and then I realized, oh, these are just spasms. Yes, they're a good thing, because your nerves are working, but you're not moving on your own, and the doctor would tell me that. And one thing I hate are fucking doctors that say you're going to be in the chair for the rest of your life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Because that's not true.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:And the doctor tells you what's going to happen.
Speaker 3:Right Out of the doctor.
Speaker 2:I don't care if a doctor went to freaking Yale and says he knows all these medical things. You practice medicine. You don't know medicine, do you?
Speaker 3:know what I mean. So my mom like, even when the doctor like came in and you still go walk like, I can remember like man and it was crazy. But no, that's why I can always appreciate my mom, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Mom Rita in the house just over there.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I have to ask how were you in rehabilitation? How was your rehab?
Speaker 3:So when I got shot was in March, and then I stayed in May what? For like two weeks? Then got transferred to RIC and then I stayed until August. I had to get my house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just started to interrupt you. But what was your therapy like? What was your mindset? Like? Did your girlfriend leave? My girlfriend left me?
Speaker 3:So yeah, so that was my first thought, Like like in Maywood, like like my home, my homey, those, like that was my first thought. Like she's gone, she's, she's, she's gonna leave me. But she ended up staying with me for like a year and a year and a half.
Speaker 2:It's tough man, because the longer they stay and it's young love, Right, I mean that's the worst.
Speaker 3:I didn't expect her to stay. You know what I'm saying. She was, she was young. She was three years older than me. I was 17. She was 20. She was 20. There you go, and I was actually shot in her car. I was in her car so, like I heard, like conspiracy, oh, you were trying to, and that that was never my lane. Like my lane was, you know, staying out of trouble. You know, growing up like I played golf. Believe it or not, people, people will believe that.
Speaker 2:You got Tiger Woods tonight Right.
Speaker 3:I played golf, played the clarinet, stayed out. What else Played the piano?
Speaker 2:I played piano too.
Speaker 3:Right, Like I had my own lane.
Speaker 2:I have to ask the lake. So when you were in at RAC, you were in the lake. I remember. I remember like distinctly what they did. They always had a schedule. They would bring the schedule in. They would tell you what therapist you're in, what time you have to wake up, this and that. Like it was like military to me when I got there, you know. And what was your mindset like when you had occupational therapy and physical therapy. And then, bam, you're alone watching TV.
Speaker 3:So I'll go back a little bit. So in Maywood they kept on saying, oh, you're going to the number one rehabilitation in the country, no, in the world, and that had my hopes up. So so much, because I'm thinking I'm gonna walk again, you know, and so I'm still in school at this time. So I still got to do like with occupational. I'm doing school work like, and I'm tired and you know, doing physical therapy and stuff.
Speaker 2:When you were doing homework at the hospital.
Speaker 3:I had to graduate still. I had to graduate still.
Speaker 2:That's insane. So how would you like write a paper? Did you use Dragon's?
Speaker 3:because you know not yet, Not at that time. So the lady would come in and I would have to like talk to her and say she would have to scribe for me or I would have to, you know, do math and stuff like that. Yeah, I had to still do homework and do school work.
Speaker 3:So when a three girlfriend stuck around for the hospital, so I appreciate like what she did for me because, like she gave my mom a chance to go home as well too. So like when I'm in the hospital I'm never alone, like somebody's always with me. So my mom ended up quitting her job. Like, just like that snapper snapper with the fingers, quit her job and then was up there with me 24 seven. But on the weekends, like Saturday, no, she would come up think Friday and then spend the whole day with me.
Speaker 2:Is your girlfriend would take care of you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, wow, friday night, sunday me, and Saturday be with me all day and then Sunday night will go home, and you know I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:You know me thinking back to like after all these years with my girlfriend, because I had the same thing young love. I was five or miles away from her. I would only see her like, like, like every month. For four days again, it was like Dustin to fail, you know. But she stood by my side, man, and she slept right next to me in a cot, you know to me.
Speaker 2:It sure was good, you know, and it's shitty for me. What I've told people in the past because she actually, like she got me through the adversity, like towards like the end. You know, what I was trying to say is like I was in the military, I was about to deploy and go overseas and I was. I felt terrible that I couldn't do it. Man, I really did, cause I got paralyzed, you know, and a really good person said to me gross, don't worry about the war overseas, you have a war against yourself right now.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:You need to win it, you know. So I'm asking you when you were at RAC, how long did you just hit RAC?
Speaker 3:Oh, June, July, August, like five months.
Speaker 2:For me it was a year. So I'm asking you, when you were alone, like what were your thoughts? Like what were you thinking? Cause, for me, my thoughts were like fuck this, fuck my life. I think I could like distract myself watching Game of Thrones or something, but like at the end of the day, when you're going to sleep and they put your cuff up and you have no voice, I just felt completely defeated. So what did you feel?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I felt defeated. You know a lot of luck. I had a lot of alone time as well, but so I can remember that first day like just thinking she was shaking my head and just crying Like just tears is coming down like crazy. Like why me?
Speaker 2:Exactly, it's the same thing, man.
Speaker 3:You give it here.
Speaker 2:I do. No, I know what you're talking about and I'm trying to bring this out because I know it's repressed memories. But I'm going to bring it out with you because being at RIC alone at night, first of all, ric is a great hospital, great therapy, great rehabilitation. I would not say they're the best, especially when it comes to nursing care, because the nurses at night scared me. When I was alone at night I got scared because I'm on a ventilator, what if it pops off? And it did one time and it took the nurse like 30 seconds to come in and I was freaking out, you know, and I couldn't talk because my cuff was up.
Speaker 3:So that's what I hated like being at RIC, and at night they would come in and the vitals, no, with the cuff. Yeah, vitals too. I hated that. So I can remember this old lady hitting my head on the while she's trying to turn. Oh my God, what was in him? Oh my God, yeah, amy, amy, yes.
Speaker 2:So you get your therapy done right Is there any therapist? You want to shout out Any names?
Speaker 3:No, shout out to Tomas.
Speaker 1:He was on the podcast and Tomas knew trade. Oh yeah, word with trade.
Speaker 3:Oh no, that wasn't there. No we're talking about.
Speaker 2:I want to shout out Sarah. I don't know her last name, but Sarah helped me and she got me into using the mouth stick, which gave me a little independence to talk to women and talk to my friends without having someone say hey, write this, write that.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 2:I mean, and I want to shout out to this guy, matt, he helped me get through driving a wheelchair.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:He told me it was weird because it's like this is your life now and it's either you suck it up and you take it in and you try to learn, or you're just depressed as shit. Some days I was depressed as shit. Some days I sucked it up, I smiled, I laughed Right and I was in the hospital for like five months. Big difference. What was it like coming home?
Speaker 3:So I wasn't actually able to come home. I actually lived on the west side. So there's two sides in the world, the east side and the west side. I live on the east side so they couldn't accommodate my home, so it was a little apartment.
Speaker 2:You had to live in a nursing home.
Speaker 3:I had to live there for September, October, November, December Okay, six months and I was able to do that. What?
Speaker 2:was that like the nursing home?
Speaker 3:No, it wasn't a nursing home, it was just an apartment. So it was better than RIC. Yeah, it was Waking up every day and it was different because, you know, I lived in that house all my life, like for 17, 18 years. That was the only house I knew and it was a little shower. It was just a crazy experience. And then that's when I was going to college.
Speaker 2:I went to ECC, the Elgin Community.
Speaker 3:College out here and I was waking up at 4 o'clock in the morning trying to get on a bus to come out here Hold on hold on.
Speaker 1:Let me pause you. So you finished school after your accident? No, I didn't finish school, but you graduated high school. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:I'm rewinding back to high school, oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:After your accident you said no, I'm going to graduate, and you knocked that out. Did you go to your prom?
Speaker 3:Yeah, went to my prom. Did they make you prom king? No, come on, you can't really do it at their own.
Speaker 1:They didn't make them the prom king, they didn't make me the prom king.
Speaker 2:You're sitting on a chair. That's what a king does.
Speaker 1:How did it feel going to prom, though? Did it feel like you were overcoming something? Did it feel like you were hitting a milestone?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was, it was nice. So I got to see all my friends and you know they all embraced me and that was a nice night.
Speaker 1:You inspired, a lot of me, and then, after he graduates, he says I'm going to keep going, right, and I'm going to go to ECC, ecc, that's almost what, 45 minutes away from Aurora. Yeah, yeah, and you were making. You said you were going on a bus, yeah, going on a bus. Grinding On a bus For real dude. He don't got an excuse.
Speaker 2:Neither should he Dude. And, like you saying this, it's like making me feel I don't know, like it's making me feel some type of way because I always thought, oh, I'm paralyzed, I should be taken care of and all this stuff and blah, blah, blah, you know. And when I got home, I remember getting home and just going in my house, it was great. It was just like being home was amazing and not having a nurse give you vitals and this, and that it was just amazing.
Speaker 2:But I remember getting home and I always had a problem with care. The military only gave me 16 hours at one time and then they cut it down to six hours and I had to hire people through the state to take care of me, and it was hard as hell, man. I would have people who don't know any type of care that I have and they're taking care of me. Did you experience anything like this?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so at first we had like a good nursing, like we had in the mornings and in the nighttime, but then it went to shit. And then they expect your family to step in and yes, totally.
Speaker 2:That's what happened to me too. But did you have to hire anybody like off the street or in, say like, or did you hire friends and say like, hey, do you want to work for me?
Speaker 3:And you don't have to do this. No, it's all through the state Like. So I don't have enough money to hire oh okay, so the state gave you caregivers. Exactly so. Like it would be through a company and then they would come, like they would provide the service or whatever, but like as far as, like people off the street or friends or anything like I could probably hire, like a friend, like to know my care, as a caregiver or whatever, but even then like they, it's only my mom really now.
Speaker 2:I mean, I was asking you that because the Department of Human Services gives me hours to find people to take care of me, Like Eric, you know like that's what they do. So I was wondering if you had that same, like that same plan. But apparently you had caregivers come to you, Right?
Speaker 3:How many hours would they stay? My mom deals with all that. I don't know if the amount of hours. How many years am I? How many hours I get a month or a week? 112 hours a week. 112 hours a week.
Speaker 2:So you can't even have 24 hour care.
Speaker 3:No, not at all.
Speaker 2:It's scary man, because back then it's. I mean, even to this day it still scares me after no one's here. You know, like what if I, the vent pops off and I die? Yeah man, what if it's a person that doesn't want to be here? You know, I am so grateful and blessed for the team that I have for a lot of nurses and I'm blessed that I'm able to say that I have 24 hour care and I'm really sorry that you don't.
Speaker 3:So my room is around the corner from my mom's and you know, and she goes in her room and the thing I'm glad I have is the pacer. So if it does pop off, but if I don't have the pacer on, then I'm really, really nervous. Describe to the people what a pacer is. So I have a diaphragmic pacer and it makes your diaphragm, I guess, work.
Speaker 1:From electric stimulations. From electric stimulation there you go. So if I pop Max's cap off and his throat, if I take his trick off, he's immediately suffocating.
Speaker 3:Right, if I pop mine off. I'm okay. I'll be okay until somebody comes. For how long? For as long as until somebody comes.
Speaker 1:So that's it. Just keeps pacing, huh yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like a pacer for a heart kind of, but you have to get the strength to use the diaphragmic pacer yeah, you have to build that, yeah. So you felt safe when you were on the pacer.
Speaker 3:No, and I have both of them. Like working simultaneously.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, so you would have a ventilator and a pacer on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like all the time, even now, even right now, I have the pacer going.
Speaker 2:So when you're at home, and let's go back in time when you were younger, I mean you know, Kudos to you, man, for the grind going to college, all that stuff I didn't do that, I complained a lot and like looking at you what you wanted to go to college for?
Speaker 2:I was in the military. I was just thinking about the military and they just told me keep doing this, keep doing that and the military is going to take care of you, and blah, blah, blah. And they did it at the end. I mean they take care of you, but they did it in the beginning with nursing care. They only gave me six hours a day and I was terrified and they're like oh well, it's your family because you didn't deploy, so they have your family has to take care of you. And I'm like that's bullshit. I signed a dotted line for the military. They said they would take care of me.
Speaker 2:They said we could take care of you by putting you in a nursing home that's what they were saying for 24 hour care. And, dude, I had to deal with so many people stealing from me. I had to deal with so many people like just the deception was just off the charts. So I ask you, did you have to deal with it? Like you know? Deception with friends or nurses or anything like that.
Speaker 3:No, so with my friends and stuff, it was pretty much my family close to me. My friends are got like two, two real close friends that I'm still close to to this day and I'm like I'm so happy. But as far as like friends coming around, like they are like disappeared Even to this day, like even with my job and stuff, like reaching out and stuff, Hold on hold on Working to do a job.
Speaker 1:Tell the people what you do.
Speaker 3:I'm an insurance guy.
Speaker 1:This man graduated paralyzed, neck down. This man went to school riding on public transportation paralyzed neck down. Now he's telling me you're an insurance agent, trey would stay far, trey would stay far. Come on man, nothing stopping you.
Speaker 2:They should replace Jake with Trey. She's dude. Like you're, like an inspiration. You know that, like to me, like to me, I feel like I'm nothing right now because, because of all the things you did. You have like the mind, you have the intestinal fortune to get through all this stuff, and for me I like would always complain, but sounds like you just need the bare minimum. Did you ever think like I deserve 24 hour care? This is bullshit. Or do you just go with the flow?
Speaker 3:I'm just go with the flow type of guy. I don't know like I don't know what what that is and where it comes from. I just been always that kid like come think it comes from my mom. Honestly, like, once you start something, you better finish it, Honestly like Trey's mom is not in real hard behind the scenes you literally are paralyzed from the next down.
Speaker 2:So how did you do it? Did you do it with the help people or did you just do it by yourself? Like obviously you went with somebody because you're out of that and I just I'm dumbfounded. Honestly, I really am Like I didn't know, you did all this and you're. You have a freaking job, which, which is insane.
Speaker 3:I could ask you, man?
Speaker 2:I definitely appreciate you like the first guy in my position that has a job. That's one. College is for all these amazing things.
Speaker 1:Let him answer your question, because now you got me curious. Who would you rather was your mom there every, every step of the way, or every tire rotation of the way?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so definitely my mom, so like that's why I kind of stayed in like there, claire doing the clarinet, like both my brothers. They didn't stay in like they, they were both in bed, they didn't stay in it. And then what else? He ain't on there? My little brother was in it, he didn't stay in it, but I did, and I don't know Like you seem like you're not scared of anything and honestly, I'm scared of a lot of things.
Speaker 2:The biggest thing I'm scared of is if my vent pops off. Like the biggest thing we think we talk about when we're interviewing Well, not interview when we're interviewing someone for a job is if I stop talking and the vent is beeping, get the ambo back. You know what?
Speaker 3:I mean.
Speaker 2:You seem like you can go to bed by yourself, like do you have like care? Like when you go to sleep?
Speaker 3:No, it's just having to pace it back up. Honestly.
Speaker 2:So what about, like, if you need a drink of water or something like that, like, how do you like, how do you don't drink, I don't drink, I don't drink, so like at night, like I might be hungry, I might be thirsty, like hey, my mom got asleep, so.
Speaker 3:So sometimes, like I have to wake her up because so like our system is, I call it through the night and with my cell phone saying, ok, google, call mom and and she'll wake up, and and you know, like, so your mom is sugar. I tried not to call it like that's it's the last resort, like if I'm probably calling it.
Speaker 2:So you call or you say you need a drink of water.
Speaker 3:No, I don't. I don't ever call for a drink of water emergency and you're not breathing.
Speaker 1:What do you do?
Speaker 2:to signal like my lips like that, that's.
Speaker 3:Max's, I do that like if we're close, but if I can't get, I'm popping lips.
Speaker 1:Both of you do your distress calls.
Speaker 2:Yes so like when I got out of the hospital, I partied. That's why I did that party. I was with my friends. You know, I had money with the VA and stuff, so I was able to do these fun things and I didn't care about my health that much. Not my health, I didn't care about, like, the safety stuff that I need. So I'd be going to clubs, I'd be doing this and I wouldn't even have an amy bag. The amy bag would be in the car and I would have like girls on me and they would rip the vent off.
Speaker 2:They would rip the vent off and then I would click, and then they before this my brother told them, if I start clicking late, come and get me, and my brother would come and see my life. I almost died on a girl because of this situation. So I just I think it's crazy you're not scared because I'm like what's the most terrifying thing that has happened during this position You've been in for 16 years?
Speaker 3:So sometimes I'm not able to get in touch with my mom and what's the my like a pacer, like it's acting up, I should say. So it wasn't doing its job, Like it barely like gave me breath, so the ventilator was on me and I'm trying to pop to get my mom and it's coming off. So I had to the ventilator's coming off. So I had to like calm myself and be like okay, Like I'm thinking, okay, this is the end.
Speaker 2:That's how I feel all the time.
Speaker 3:So in the end I just closed my eyes and prayed and my mom ended up coming in. I wasn't able to call her on my phone. And was it this year? No, no, it was last year. Last year, january, and I think it was like January 2nd. That was one time I was kind of scared.
Speaker 2:Has your vent ever popped off Like and you had to use your signal?
Speaker 3:Yeah, a few times like like, but they were close by. It wasn't like like nighttime and she's that's serious for me and yeah.
Speaker 2:So, eric, I told Eric, amen, I need an assistant, she wants job. And then he thinks I'm blowing smoke, right. I tell him, like my nurses don't know what they're doing and I'm talking about nurses- Wait, how did y'all meet?
Speaker 1:Oh shit, here we go, all right. So I made music back in the day. It's still in me, it's just not producing out of me. Okay, I'll get back at it, don't worry about it. So Max messaged me like, hey, bro, I really like that Halloween wrap. I had a little Halloween wrap that went like a little tiny viral, like local viral. Okay, I'm gonna check it out, yeah, yeah, and he's like yo, he's like it'll be cool to meet sometime and I'm like damn.
Speaker 2:I thought I said we should party. This is when I was partying in 2017.
Speaker 1:And I was like, damn, I gotta meet this kid. But like life was moving fast, I didn't make the time and I went through something where I've hit my own version of a little rock bottom Right, like I was going through the stressors of life and then I thought to myself like bro, remember Max? Like that motherfucker can't even brush his own teeth Like what are you stressing about? I was like you're right, I'm gonna hit him up. Finally, you know. So, two years later, I hit Max up. My hey, man, how you been, bro, what's up? He's like, honestly, I'm so. He didn't believe we just talked about this like what last week. He didn't believe that.
Speaker 2:He said this, I forgot this, yeah.
Speaker 1:But he's like. He's like, honestly, it's the worst I've ever been. All my friends left me. I'm just, I'm just alone in my room all day and I was like man, forget that. Like, let me know what you're doing this weekend. I'll meet you. And he's like, I got a parade to go to. If you want to meet me there, I'm like, let's go, give me the address. So I'm thinking he's like going to be under a canopy on a Memorial Day parade.
Speaker 1:Man, I meet with this guy. He's suited up in his uniform and right when I walk up to him, sup max, yo, sup, eric. Then the soldiers next to him say are you ready? He's with you. And he's like, yeah, next thing, you know, I'm walking through the city of Dundee, right next to the Quad Father himself leading the Memorial Day parade. We got police cars and firefighters behind us carrying flags and everyone's cheering on the sidelines. I'm like, man, I'm glad I wore a button up. And then you know that one thing led to another and he was vested to me about how he felt, like he couldn't do nothing. I'm like, bro, you got your voice, let's do a motherfucking podcast. And he responds telling me I can't do a podcast. He said I can't. He said I tried with my friends. My voice is too low. I said fuck your friends, let's go Over 60 episodes later.
Speaker 2:And man like he thought I was blowing smoke when I offered him a job. Oh no, no, oh.
Speaker 1:So back to that. He would tell me like, oh you know, these nurses don't know my care, Like you know, and I'm thinking, dog, they're nurses Like I'm thinking he's just trying to butter me up to like, keep me around, you know, and it wasn't until he was in a Hoyer lift. He was in the air.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You're in the air. And then what happened? The vent popped off and he couldn't breathe, so he starts clicking. So I'm looking at the nurse like she got it. She's a deer in headlights, she's mine, for real dude. She didn't know what to do, so he's like for the ambo bag, right, right. And I'm looking at her like I'm on the other side of the of Max in the air and she's next to the vent and she's, the ambo bag is right on the vent. So you know, I'm watching her like, I'm, like, I'm like grab the ambo bag, you know.
Speaker 1:So then she puts the ambo bag on. I'm commanding her what to do. And I'm like pump them, you know. And then I'm like you see that that little nozzle right there that's undone, reach for that, plug it back in, you know, because I'm on the other side and she did it and we got him breathing again. And that's when he looked at me like he's gave me that look.
Speaker 2:That spoke a thousand words you know, dude, this happens to me so much. It's happened to me so much, I've almost died that means you got to get pacing bro.
Speaker 1:You have to pace her installed. And you, how come you don't want to go? It's because of the federal later he's.
Speaker 2:I don't like the trilogy. I like to be able to talk and keep talking and keep talking and keep talking. And if I go on the trilogy I'm going to have to talk.
Speaker 1:So tell the people what, what, what the other events would do.
Speaker 2:Tell the people why you won't pace because they're going to make me go on a different event your event and I have to like wait for a breath to talk, and it's the worst.
Speaker 3:No, you don't have to wait, I can keep going and keep going, and keep going, and keep going, and keep going.
Speaker 2:No, you just, you just said, you just said, you just. I mean, maybe it's an excuse.
Speaker 3:Maybe it is.
Speaker 2:Maybe I'll give a shot. You honestly have inspired me this whole podcast, this whole podcast. Like I've never met someone in my position that is just so independent in his own way. It's. It's honestly astonishing. It really is. I I'm never like this. I'm not. I'm usually the one motivating people, but do you fucking motivate me? You're inspiring me to do these things.
Speaker 1:Doing that right there. That camp just made me inspired from X. You can do it, bro.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's just a vent. It's the issue.
Speaker 3:It's not the vent, it's the basis.
Speaker 2:Are you on the vent right?
Speaker 3:now.
Speaker 2:So you're talking normally. Sorry, keep talking.
Speaker 3:Keep talking, keep talking, keep talking, keep talking, keep talking.
Speaker 2:So I mean that pause scares me.
Speaker 1:But sometimes, sometimes it gives you a presence of power, like, for instance, christopher Reeves. That's how he spoke. You know, christopher Reeves, right, superman and his pacer was the same way, or his vent was the same way, but when he would talk he would have to talk like this. But that pause kind of makes you sound powerful you know, instead of just rambling and rambling and rambling, the human mind could only keep up for so long until they start hearing fuff, fuff, fuff, fuff, fuff when you're talking.
Speaker 1:But yo, I wanted to get back to you and we're at the 55 minute mark of the podcast and we talked about everything before the accident shortly after the accident, and I want to talk more light on the amazing things that you went through after your accident, like, for example, after Max's accident, patrick Kane he got assigned Jersey from Patrick Kane. He met the team. You know we went to the Chappelle concert. We both did that. You know we go to the United center often Like is there any shows, any people you've met, any blessings that you've got, I lead parades, you know like stuff like that.
Speaker 2:What do you do?
Speaker 3:So I say 2011,. I went to the All-Star game with Make a Wish. I was able to get the ball, sorry by Koby Wow. In the whole team, east and West, that was Derek Rose. That's what.
Speaker 2:I want to do oh dear, oh dear.
Speaker 1:You got Koby Derek Rose 2011. Those are all like the best players, hey dude, oh shit.
Speaker 3:Dirk Israel, don J Koby signature alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah so.
Speaker 3:Koby is crazy.
Speaker 2:So your perseverance, your drive, your tenacity. It inspires the fuck out of you. It really does, and I'm going to start thinking differently now. Usually I stay in bed all day. No joke, stay in bed all day and I just get dressed, watch TV. I've been reading lately, that's my goal.
Speaker 2:I've been reading every day for 30 minutes or more, you know, but I got to start doing more and you inspire the fuck out of me because when there's a wall there, you just break through it, man, like everything the story you've told me, and you're freaking your vagraness, you know.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Not being scared Like I'm more scared than you. It's crazy man and I got all the help. Do you know like you inspire the lobby?
Speaker 1:I definitely appreciate that. I don't know. I think Chris is going for some.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, turn off.
Speaker 1:Turn what off?
Speaker 2:Oh it's pretty, it's a hit, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:The podcast can't hear it.
Speaker 3:Oh my, let me get the Right back there.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you start eating your breath.
Speaker 3:No, no, I thought that was annoying.
Speaker 2:No, it wasn't you, it was in another room I was freaking out like I would freak out doing what you just did. I don't know how you do it. I really don't like you. You this is definitely one of the best podcasts I've done, honestly, cuz like I'm sitting next to a guy that literally has no excuse Like neither should you every person out there listening if you're freaking out over a girl or a test or an exam, or your car is broke. Just remember, somebody has it way worse. Somebody has it way worse. You know ever me like I'm thinking this guy has a way worse, but he's tenacity and Just is charisma. You look like you're doing better than me.
Speaker 3:No, how we do you all in this together, you know.
Speaker 2:I know, I know, I know this, but right now, like you're giving me motivation, that's what. I'm saying, hey, I need something. I kick in the ass and I never really meet with people. I'm vence because, like I don't know, I just thought my best friend Chuck, he's not a fan, he was in the army just like me. Same unit. Mm-hmm just different time, you know, and I never really talked to people on vents.
Speaker 1:But Chuck is very nice chest down, by the way, yeah.
Speaker 2:Brothers and arms. That's the podcast, but do you Fuckin inspire me? You know, I think that's the best way to end this podcast, cuz like I Honestly man, like I Want to be around you more.
Speaker 3:No, seriously.
Speaker 2:I never get set up to drive. I have issues with that. The human event. Mm-hmm it drives out my throat like crazy you have no idea, bro Like it's the worst thing ever. It's because of the pain that I have my throat, so I'm always on this other vent, you know the home vent. So I mean I just like I love your drive man and you keep driving and I know I know you got shot driving but you're fucking driving to freaking happiness, driving to the pursuit of happiness right now yeah that's all you honestly.
Speaker 2:Great, great story, great, everything you Like. If I could clap, I would Shout my boy tree, come into my house with mama. You know you are always welcome. You're always welcome.
Speaker 1:I never seen someone, I never seen max give someone so many flowers.
Speaker 3:No, I definitely appreciate that, definitely appreciate.
Speaker 2:You don't understand that, like I have so many excuses and you like I hope I can get your number and we can talk and stuff you know Cuz you're the motivation. Oh, this person can have a job. This person has a job. He's taking care of himself. This person went to school and got on a bus. It's like you didn't give a fuck what people thought.
Speaker 1:I visited trade. Remember when I visited you and I told you I was like man, I thought max would motivate you for life. But I think you gonna motivate max.
Speaker 3:Lou haven't Motivated you voice, your purse arrives, you know, right there as well.
Speaker 2:We, we in this field, like it really does it you know that.
Speaker 1:You know that's a good thing. I feel like that's a good thing, or there's people out here that are okay with being complacent. But when you're not okay with being complacent, that means your brain is telling you to do something about it, and your brain is telling you to do something about it. Yeah, it's like that means you're built different.
Speaker 2:It's, yeah, it's like you. Doing all those things Made me think, wow, I wasted a lot of years doing a bunch of stupid shit, watching a bunch of stupid shows.
Speaker 3:I should have been consumed a better better late than never.
Speaker 2:Exactly and you fucking killed it. I hope one day you become a millionaire or something yeah, that's insurance agents, asian and telling away something you know. But I'm happy that your family took care of you. Your family was there for you and your mom was there for you and I'm guessing she's your biggest inspiration, was she?
Speaker 3:Yeah, of course, without her wouldn't be. No, me Most definitely Shout out to you, man.
Speaker 2:Thank you for being on this show. I just like You've changed my perspective of life. You really have Yo.
Speaker 3:My name is Tray and I'm living my life to the max.
Speaker 2:And what about your message? Give the people a message, come on, man.
Speaker 3:Better late than never.