Life to the Max Podcast
"Doctors Paralyzed Me When I Was Ten" Ft Destiny & Julia
Strap in for a roller-coaster of emotions with Destiny, as we recount surviving a childhood illness that led to a coma and accidental paralysis! During such unexpected difficult moments, we paint a mental picture for the listeners on how terrifying it can be while paralyzed. While shedding light on how the support from family and friends is the absolute most powerful component that helps us persevere through tragedy. Listen to Destiny discuss how she recovered from her paralysis at ten years of age!
In addition, navigating the social labyrinth of dating and relationships can be just as treacherous as any physical ordeal! Destiny and Julia definitely don't shy away from the good, the bad, or the awkward. Listen to their confessions from the front lines of love – from laugh-out-loud dating disasters to the deeper discourse on love bombing, toxic behaviors, and maintaining self-worth amidst the chaos. We're spilling the tea (or alcohol) on everything, including the perils of drunk driving, the impact of social media on love, and how to uphold personal boundaries in a digitized world of romance.
Brace yourselves for an unfiltered debate that might just rattle your preconceived notions – does size really matter in a relationship? We're bringing humor and unapologetic honesty to the table, as we dissect societal expectations and personal preferences.
Join us as we tackle this and more while emphasizing the power of self-awareness and mutual respect, even when the conversation takes an unexpected turn. So hit play and get ready to laugh, learn, and see a reflection of your own life stories within ours.
Strap in for a roller-coaster of emotions with Destiny, as we recount surviving a childhood illness that led to a coma and accidental paralysis! During such unexpected difficult moments, we paint a mental picture for the listeners on how terrifying it can be while paralyzed. While shedding light on how the support from family and friends is the absolute most powerful component that helps us persevere through tragedy. Listen to Destiny discuss how she recovered from her paralysis at ten years of age!
In addition, navigating the social labyrinth of dating and relationships can be just as treacherous as any physical ordeal! Destiny and Julia definitely don't shy away from the good, the bad, or the awkward. Listen to their confessions from the front lines of love – from laugh-out-loud dating disasters to the deeper discourse on love bombing, toxic behaviors, and maintaining self-worth amidst the chaos. We're spilling the tea (or alcohol) on everything, including the perils of drunk driving, the impact of social media on love, and how to uphold personal boundaries in a digitized world of romance.
Brace yourselves for an unfiltered debate that might just rattle your preconceived notions – does size really matter in a relationship? We're bringing humor and unapologetic honesty to the table, as we dissect societal expectations and personal preferences.
Join us as we tackle this and more while emphasizing the power of self-awareness and mutual respect, even when the conversation takes an unexpected turn. So hit play and get ready to laugh, learn, and see a reflection of your own life stories within ours.
Hahaha, except me and Max In the cut, we don't give two chips and we don't give a fuck. It's what we do.
Speaker 2:And shit to prove we live a life, live a life to the max, living life.
Speaker 3:Living life to the max, just like my bad girl, hahaha, hahaha. So uh, destiny, I heard you were paralyzed before.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I like this one time, this one time, not this one time so like when I was growing up, I went to this school and I ended up getting like super sick, like Valid, yeah right. So like licking shoes, you know, sharing drinks, getting a lot of germs. So initially my sickness started out as pneumonia and then it progressed and I ended up having my final diagnosis was meningitis and sepalitis in the spinal cord, which at the time was not well known. So when I was going to the hospital I was being tested for different things, like rabies, and so while they were trying to like figure out what was wrong with me, why I was so sick, Like they ended up giving me an MRI.
Speaker 4:And this is like one of the last things that I vividly remember was Going into like an MRI machine and they gave me this like little balloon thing almost, and they're like squeeze this if you need like us to pull you out, like if you feel uncomfortable. Um, so they did that. And then I went in and I remember like it being super weird, like all these sounds, and I don't really remember what I saw. But they pulled me out because I pressed it and then they like put this deep ass needle in my arm and I was screaming bloody murder, but it put me out. So they pretty much sedated me and I ended up falling into a coma for 10 days. While I was in the coma, I stopped breathing. I was put on a ventilator.
Speaker 2:So you fell into a coma, not because of what you were sick with, but because they sedated you.
Speaker 4:I don't know how the story goes.
Speaker 3:But yeah, that's what it is.
Speaker 4:So they induced it because they were trying to figure out, like, what was wrong with me. I was getting spinal taps, um, I don't remember a lot up until the coma. I remember waking up and people all around me and like I'm being like, oh my god, she's awake. She's awake and I could talk like I wasn't. I was like paralyzed from the neck down so I couldn't move any part of my body besides like my mouth, like so I could talk and I could like move my eyes around. And I remember everyone being around me and them Everyone like being like, oh my gosh, she's awake, she's awake. And they were like you were in a coma and I remember like arguing and being like oh, I wasn't.
Speaker 4:What are you talking about? And they were like okay, you weren't, like you weren't.
Speaker 2:They were like telling me so it just felt like you took a nap. Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 4:I mean, that's what you're doing, right, You're sleeping. I remember dreams while I was in the coma.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I remember there was like a video game you could bring into the room and I remember like being in the video game, like my little cousin was like playing a video game and I guess I was like in the game in my dream. I remember my grandma, my dad's mom, came to see me and I remember like she was trying to wake me up. Like I remember like seeing her and like just like dreaming about it in my dream, but it's very, it's almost like an out of body experience Because like I didn't know what was going on but I knew that I was like. When I woke up, I knew I was like remembering dreams.
Speaker 3:I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm gonna make it like short and sweet. When I got my car accident eight years ago, I was in the military, you know. Long story short, I drove halfway home with a buddy and my buddy was supposed to drive the other half and then, you know, he fell asleep, unfortunately, cursed a car, breaking my neck by flipping the car, you know. And I asked when I woke up for my coma I couldn't talk for 15 days, but after that I asked him. I was like, hey, did this happen? Did this happen? Did this happen? And all of it happened. So, yeah, it was like vividly, like just blur while I was in my coma, because obviously, you can hear and your brain is almost conscious, conscious, while you're going through this.
Speaker 3:Did you hear the machines? I heard the machines.
Speaker 4:So this happened when I was 10, so I know you said eight years ago. So this was 19 years ago for me. I don't remember. Damn you old I know. So some of it would be like If someone like interviewed me afterwards, I probably would have said like, yeah, but I don't. I can't tell you for sure if I did or not.
Speaker 3:The hospitals are the most terrifying thing, especially without like being paralyzed and stuff. My family didn't find me for 18 hours.
Speaker 4:Oh, they didn't find you for 18 hours.
Speaker 3:No, so was your family? Well, no, I was. No, my friend went back to base because he had to and I was in the hospital and they couldn't get into my phone and like they were trying to look for me. But all they have is a like cat card, which is a military ID card, and they're like, okay, all we know is that this guy's in the military, so they're on this wild goose hunt, you know, trying to find me and my family. But finally a nurse just said, okay, I'm going to use this thumb to use, like, to open his phone, because that was when iPhone said the thumb thing. So they did that and she messaged my sister and my sister was there like two hours.
Speaker 4:Oh, wow, yeah, yeah. So when I was sick, my mom like asked them, like begged them to like not set because they were going to send me home, because they didn't know what was wrong with me. So I mean, if I went home I probably would have died. And I remember vividly to like a lot, I was going downhill, like when I went into the coma. I was going downhill so, like I said, all of my organs shut down, I was put on a ventilator, I lost feeling from my neck down and then I lost feeling from my feet up and I got it back, like after I woke up, from my neck down. So they said that's pretty common, when I guess that happens. I don't know much about it, but my mom was there the entire time.
Speaker 3:That's amazing Family. You know, blood is thicker than water and my family was with me all the time and I was very even. Now, like I was, I'm supposed to go to the hospital to try to breathe on my own again. Hopefully that works out. But I'm supposed to go to the hospital and they're all just like allocating and, like you know, like Trying to like figure out, okay, who's going to be at night with Max, you know, rather than like leave me alone in a hospital room. So it's cool that your family was there.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, I remember everybody telling me to like. So I went to a very small Christian middle school, st Peter's in Schomburg. The entire book like visiting book. They're like everybody's here to see destiny, like Everybody it. Just it makes me tear up because it's like you need a support system, like when you're definitely going through that. So that's amazing that you have that now like as an adult like still going through. That is like I couldn't even imagine.
Speaker 3:I mean you don't have that.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like, yeah, yeah and uh, when I first got injured, uh, the army kind of like you know like turned their back on me a little bit like they. They're like, because in the army you're just a number your body?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're a body and, honestly, they can't use it anymore.
Speaker 3:So so, so soon as that happened like I felt like betrayed by the military in a way.
Speaker 2:I mean you're reminded me, why are you doing that, talking about visitation, you reminded me when max, where we were in the, it wasn't the er, but it was the intensive care unit. We had to put max in the icu, even though only because he was paralyzed and on a ventilator. He needed to be in the icu.
Speaker 2:So we're in a section of the hospital where people are dying yeah, on the brink of dying but max has all these visitors and we're laughing and watching comedy shows and then cracking up in the next room, while people are with their families, like you know, saying their last prayers with other family members, they're coming in. Like yo too, like.
Speaker 3:Listen like to be honest, though, that that was a really big scare, like as I went into sepsis. I don't know if you know what that is. It's, uh, basically when the Infection gets into your bloodstream and my organs started shutting down as well, and uh, luckily they were able to save my life. That was about a year ago, and eric was there every single day, you know so, and so was my family. So I mean, like I'm happy for my support system and for the people.
Speaker 3:And that's why we started like to max, you know, like for people like you to come on and uh. Yeah, you stuck with us and all the other weirdos that we interviewed, yeah yeah, and like maybe you're gonna hit someone home that's like you know, driving home like from work or something they're gonna be like hey, I kind of went through something like that too and you should be a little Blessed for what you have right now. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:You're sure she's killing it too. She's a homeowner.
Speaker 4:Go ahead, name my success.
Speaker 1:She's a six figure earner.
Speaker 2:She brought a height. Come on now. She brought a height woman on the show. That's my homie.
Speaker 3:Period. Well, that's like a really touching story and I'm happy I finally got to hear from you, because eric is uh told me A little bit about you and a little bit.
Speaker 4:That's surprising.
Speaker 2:I was like bro she got paralyzed just like you, got an ocoma just like you and like sneakers, just like you. I don't know what it is with these.
Speaker 1:Damn, they need something about it. Like, do you?
Speaker 3:know what uh? Do you know what I take from this, though? Well, you give me hope. You guys, I've been paralyzed for almost eight years now, right and how old are you? I was 20. Now I'm about to be 20 years old. Yeah, so I was Arched me first. You're at Aries.
Speaker 4:You're at Aries, yeah the first day of Aries. We not talking about Zodiac.
Speaker 3:That's my favorite subject. She's like, she's like you're, aries, oh no, I can't do it.
Speaker 1:I can't now do it. Now what?
Speaker 4:the Aries, we're leaving right now I can't believe it.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I'm still.
Speaker 3:Yep, that's the.
Speaker 4:Aries thing Not a story Peace. So I will say it's like it's a lot different growing up, going through like something like that and like, as an adult, having to kind of like Reset your mindset.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean, because, like, I remember being like 10 years old and being like I felt so bad I mean I still fucking do. Honestly, why did this happen to me? Out of anyone? You know what I mean. Like you have that mindset where it's like why me? You know what I mean. And it's like you have to kind of grow up at some point because there are people like, for example, you like you're in a way, worse predicament than me.
Speaker 4:Like I was able to Start walking again and I got the feeling back in my legs which at the time, a lot of people were telling me that wasn't gonna happen. You know what I mean. So I also put it to God that it was like a miracle that I was able to overcome what I went through, because my so I don't know if I even told this to Eric so my dad passed away in a car accident and my brother killed his best friend in a car accident. So it's very it's home when I hear people who either die or get hurt in car accidents. Like it's so.
Speaker 1:That's, I feel like, the most like I. My best friend too. When I was 20 she she passed away in a car accident too.
Speaker 3:It's crazy because when I was in the car I was not thinking that. I mean, obviously I was just thinking about going home Seeing my girlfriend, you know, I mean like celebrating my birthday, because it was March 24th was the accident and I was going home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just turned 20 and you didn't even collide with another car, right? No?
Speaker 3:no, you just fell asleep.
Speaker 2:Max was sleeping in the passenger seat. His friend fell asleep. The driver also fell asleep Right, so the driver fell asleep.
Speaker 1:That's crazy.
Speaker 4:When I go on a road trip, I'm like I can't fall asleep because I have to fully trust the driver.
Speaker 1:I don't like road trips period anyway.
Speaker 4:It's like think about how often you get in a car Like all the time I think we don't think about it.
Speaker 1:And then I mean also like being younger and like I mean I don't know your situation, max, but like being younger and like driving drunk or you know whatever before Uber, like we're old enough to where it was before there was even Uber around, so like we would just fucking drive. Whoever was the least drunk would fucking drive what a topic to discuss on Blackout Wednesday.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, stop.
Speaker 3:But it's serious, so like Uber wasn't around when we were growing up. No, really Now you could just take Uber and go home.
Speaker 2:Now there's no excuse. Now you get a DUI and you're like bro come on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there was be better.
Speaker 2:I mean, I understand why females don't want to order an Uber because there's some weirdos.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, there's a lot of like cases against Uber drivers now. But, honestly, like I mean, call a friend or something, because we actually last week we got pretty lit in the city and she's like I'm gonna call you an Uber. But I ended up calling a friend to come pick me up and, honestly, like I passed out in the yeah there's no way, you're driving. Yeah, I mean, I can understand why you wouldn't want to take an Uber either, but like, call a friend or do whatever you have to do, but don't drive drunk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wait it out, go to sleep in your car, whatever you have to do, but like, don't do that, that's terrible. Yeah, look at it taking lives.
Speaker 3:You know it's all crazy you brought up drunk driver because when I was in the hospital, Shirley Ryan, not Shirley Ryan. I was at rehabilitation institute in Chicago. So when I was in the hospital and I see you Like when I first got injured I miraculously got better in 10 days.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 3:I was supposed to be there for two months but then I went to RIC, right, and my roommate was a guy who got in a car accident while he was drunk driving and he had more movement than me and I'm just like, I'm like thinking to myself, why, why are you putting me next to this guy that's fucking complaining all the time, literally complaining, I can't change the channel, my finger hurts this and that, and he can breathe on his own, and I'm like, and I'm thinking my head's like you, lucky son of a bitch.
Speaker 1:No, understandable for sure, but you have to think, like I feel like it's easy to compare right, but they tell you not to.
Speaker 3:No, and I learned that throughout the years.
Speaker 1:But I mean, I was trying to use it At the time, right, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:I was just like getting my life together when it came to the military, just trying to go special forces, go to the ranger yeah, Anything possible to be a good soldier in the military. That's what I was trying to do, and I guess God is different. But that's eight years later. I'm talking to you guys.
Speaker 1:Honestly, that's good that you think like that everything happens for a reason. You know, like I think it's easier to think like that you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now. You know like, whatever you're doing, like even this, like yeah, you guys are reaching out to people that this has happened to and, like you said, maybe somebody driving home from work or just like scrolling through, it's helping their day be better, and if you can affect a human being's day at all in any way, that's like a special thing for sure.
Speaker 3:I mean, I know we're affecting yours.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the monocle.
Speaker 2:It's the monocle talking Alright, look, we got a transition.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this little grab.
Speaker 2:I want to know what your guys is most awkward or embarrassing dates that you guys have. Have you ever had to call each other like yo?
Speaker 1:act like this in emergency. Yes, I've done that before, for sure.
Speaker 2:Come on so to other people how not to go on a date with a woman.
Speaker 1:I have a bad one.
Speaker 4:Go ahead.
Speaker 1:I hope the person Just send it to them.
Speaker 4:Send them the link. I didn't even talk. I haven't spoken to him in years, but it was in high school and this kid who I liked was going to Bartlett and he had a girlfriend. But we were. I don't know what was going on. I was like 13, I don't know 14. So I was like, oh, I'm definitely going to this guy's homecoming. And this other kid who went there had a huge crush on me and was like, oh, I want to go, I want you to come with me to the homecoming. So I was like fine, so I went with this man to this homecoming and I don't know what I thought was going to happen or what I was going to accomplish. But I got there and I was like I need to get the fuck out of here. Why? Because I don't know. I just was like he was trying to dance with me and I was like, nah.
Speaker 3:It's homecoming. What do you mean homecoming? I was so shady.
Speaker 4:I was so shady because I was like I just wanted the other guy who I liked, who had a girlfriend, to see me dancing with him, because I knew, he knew that. I knew that, like we like, we fucked with each other Women are so complicated.
Speaker 2:What did you do?
Speaker 1:that was so bad who.
Speaker 2:The other guy, she just didn't like him.
Speaker 1:Honestly, let me pause let's do an interjection If a woman doesn't like you, girl doesn't like you, no matter what you do, period, it's not going to be attractive. Like we are not going. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3:Oh my god like you never change a heart.
Speaker 1:You know when it is a change of heart like I don't think ever, no, I can't Like. If she doesn't like you, it's just not good, she said. Give me money.
Speaker 4:So, yeah, no, in high school times are a lot different. We didn't have Instagram and social media to influence our actions. Well, not like that though.
Speaker 1:No, yeah.
Speaker 4:Not at the same extent. So I ended up going. My mom took a picture of me. Oh wait, no, I drove, I drove, so I was at least 16. And I was like, oh my god. My mom called me and she said I have to go home right now Because she found out that I hit a car with her car.
Speaker 2:It was like a secret.
Speaker 4:You're just making shit up as you're saying it I literally no, my mom never actually called it's raining right now. But I just made up, I was like no, and I didn't even give him time to ask me what.
Speaker 2:And. I was like I have to go and I need to let my dog outside. Oh my god, I'm dying.
Speaker 3:That sounds like a great night.
Speaker 4:So this day for him I was like he was probably in awe, Like I can't believe she just did that, and I was like I almost felt bad, but I was like I blocked him from everything.
Speaker 3:Well, you're a fool. I'm not the last.
Speaker 4:I was like I can't have a follow-up conversation about this.
Speaker 3:I blocked him from everything.
Speaker 4:I ghosted him I feel bad Wait did you go to the?
Speaker 3:school.
Speaker 1:No, we were at a different school she wanted to go to that school because the guy that she liked went to that school and I was like I'm going to show him he don't get real jealous. Bet you he didn't say shit to you the whole time.
Speaker 4:No, he saw me and he was like, oh my god, hey, you're here. And I was like, yeah, and then he didn't go how I wanted to go, so I was like abort, abort. I got to go, I got to go.
Speaker 2:What about you, Julia? I know you got one. I'm asleep.
Speaker 4:Oh, it's probably way worse than mine.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm not going to lie. I don't know. Like you know, for me, I know there's too many no. So for me, like I am very particular in who I'm dating, so I make sure that we talk a lot before I date, like before we meet up in person, because I don't want it to be awkward, like I feel like I'm taking my time to even meet with you face to face. I want us to have a good time, I want to have fun. Who are you talking?
Speaker 3:about Like, like dating apps like Tinder or something, or dating in general.
Speaker 1:Like when somebody's like.
Speaker 3:It's called a hinge.
Speaker 1:Hinge yeah.
Speaker 2:Or shout out to hinge. It's. Social media is basically dating apps. Social media is social media.
Speaker 1:I mean that's really how people meet nowadays. I mean rarely have I met someone in person, like probably the last few people I've dated have all been over an app.
Speaker 2:That's because men are scared. Nowadays they just want to spam the deal. Honestly, it is scary.
Speaker 1:I feel like you guys get you know denied consistently, and that's scary. I would be very scared to reach out to somebody as well.
Speaker 2:Listen fellas, you need to keep trying until that denial feels like entertainment to you. That's so funny when you need to go to the gym and when you shoot your shot and you miss, you need to be like damn with a smile on your face and shoot again.
Speaker 1:Just be like damn, she's not for me. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 3:What do you girls feel is that it's a status money looks game. That's what you need. You need status money looks game.
Speaker 1:Focus on you. Is it all of the above? Focus on you and the right people will come.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I believe it's status money looks game 100%.
Speaker 1:All together. Yeah, no, you do need that. Yeah, but I think, like I just said, like focus on you, focus on you and you'll attract the correct people.
Speaker 2:You ain't ever met a man that, like you, weren't necessarily attracted to.
Speaker 1:Of course I have.
Speaker 2:He started making you like crack up, and you're like wow.
Speaker 1:No, I love Honestly. I'm more about personality. If you can make me laugh, I love that shit.
Speaker 2:There you go, ugly kings. There you go, watch them stand up, study some techniques, say some knock knock jokes, dad jokes.
Speaker 1:But no, I will tell you what is awkward, which I hate, that people do in general Like don't try to be too quick with it, like just feel the vibes out. If you are like trying to like kiss me too much or like hug me too much, it's immediately ugly to me for sure. Like I've had those dates where the day has gone OK and then, like at the end of the night you're expecting like a good night kiss because like you bought dinner or like you know something like that. That to me is just really, are you serious?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Max, like you ain't going to kiss me after dinner, I'll scare you?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, puppy, I can do my own, I can buy my own dinner.
Speaker 2:Max, spit it out. Max, spit it out.
Speaker 1:What is that? Listen you talking to a grown ass woman. Ok, I'll buy my own dinner. I'll buy you dinner too, I'll buy you dessert.
Speaker 2:All right, let's go after the podcast. Go on, Max.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not saying Say it, say it, say it, go ahead.
Speaker 3:I'm going to just like. So I've been stuck in the house for eight years, right?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:And I've seen social media evolve, like as soon as my accident happened. That's when, like, social media evolved. That's when, like, the filters for Snapchat was around, that's when, like, all the hubs started coming up and I just constantly hear like, yeah, fuck her, fuck her, fuck her. Oh, yeah, it's a girl. Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her.
Speaker 1:Damn. Ok, so we're done.
Speaker 3:So when you said I just want a kiss goodnight. I was like whoa, whoa, whoa. That's actually kind of pretty cool.
Speaker 1:No, I mean. I mean, let's be honest. So the kiss is an initiation, right? How OK, if she's going to, let me kiss her, yeah, how far can I get inside, you know? And then maybe can I get inside, you know, like stuff like that. But it's a kiss is just as intimate as anything else to me at least. I'm not going to speak for everybody, but this word.
Speaker 4:No, I mean guys will be like oh well, I thought.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you gave me these signals. Yeah, I mean in general. So like I mean, maybe to you that's different for me Personally I mean and Destiny agrees like that's just not.
Speaker 4:It Like if you're trying too hard, the initial like like I've had people take me to dinner and then try and kiss me and I'm like, yeah, the initial like I don't want to kiss you should be like OK, you know, and then maybe wait for her to like give you and also your first time meeting, like we just met.
Speaker 1:I barely know you. This was a link you know like I could have paid for the other time.
Speaker 4:And you already trying to like get intimate with me and touch my like.
Speaker 1:Touch my butt. Yes.
Speaker 4:Anything, it's like I give you a handshake to a stranger or a hug.
Speaker 3:I respect that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you should respect boundaries. That's what that's called.
Speaker 3:Literally, that's what I was saying is. I respected that. You said like you know. You just like maybe a kiss, can I? Rather than rather than like you know you hear them, fellas?
Speaker 2:Look, it's about boundaries, all right. So we need to show them a good time, fellas, listen up Kings. We need to show them a good time, I can't. And we need to make sure that they go in for the kiss. And when they go in for the kiss, when the time is right going to the chair.
Speaker 4:We turn away and we look at them.
Speaker 1:We'll see how long we get to their own medicine.
Speaker 2:Try it. Don't underestimate the art of the Thank you.
Speaker 1:Don't underestimate the art of the kiss on the floor when she thinks, like when she thinks you're going to go in for the kill, and then you kiss her on the cheek. Embarrassing Right.
Speaker 2:Come on, a kiss on the cheek is so heartfelt at times.
Speaker 1:Because on the forehead takes away anger immediately. Do you do that?
Speaker 2:You're pounding kiss on the cheek, so anger dissipates.
Speaker 1:I'm fighting you. Am I your toddler? I just said I'm fighting you. If I'm bad, you kiss me on the forehead. We're fucking duking it out, oh it's so.
Speaker 3:You did that the other day. I don't feel a problem, but it warmed your soul.
Speaker 2:So good, no, so good. They're underestimating the art kissing on the air Game I guess I gave him a kiss on the forehead.
Speaker 3:No, I didn't, but I will.
Speaker 1:This girl you know oh, you're dating, Love her. No, oh you don't.
Speaker 2:You got it, you got it.
Speaker 1:All right, we're going to cut this out.
Speaker 3:We're going to cut this out, don't even wait. So what? I? So let's say what? What makes men toxic? I think you're asking us. I think, yeah, I mean you should probably ask yourselves that.
Speaker 4:OK, well, by a licensed therapist, I've heard, no, I've listened to a lot of podcasts about toxic relationships. Try to heal my trauma without a therapist, but it's the love bombing, it's the gifts in.
Speaker 1:I hate that.
Speaker 2:Yes, I hate, and then I don't know what love bombings.
Speaker 4:So love. Bombing is buying gifts. Buying gifts, attention, so much attention and hanging up on them so that. So that's giving your 100 percent Right.
Speaker 1:So then you take it away because then you take it away. And then they want it. They crave it right Like I need it you were just giving everything to me, victims of this to love bombing? Yes, and I've also loved bombs, for sure, I think I don't. I feel like I hate that we have to gender. We have to make it a gender like oh, what makes man toxic, what makes a person toxic?
Speaker 4:Yeah, because I do that shit too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, women do. I do that, for sure, like, but I also I feel like I have an addictive personality. So if I like you, I like, I love you?
Speaker 2:You hear that. Did you hear how hard it was for her to say love? She's like, if I like you, I Can I spell it?
Speaker 1:all the time you know. L U V.
Speaker 2:Muffin.
Speaker 1:Love, I love.
Speaker 2:L.
Speaker 1:U H? I like L Y.
Speaker 4:I said I L Y. I didn't spell it out. It's not the same thing.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so I think that for sure. Yeah, like that's what's saying Love bombing is a thing for sure.
Speaker 2:I don't.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing Like where.
Speaker 2:So you're saying first I got to buy gifts.
Speaker 1:So write it down. You know the vibe so.
Speaker 3:Love bombing is a like buying. You like a purse or something it's buying. It's just buying gifts in general sending flowers, flowers, edible arrangements.
Speaker 4:Calling her all the time, texting her all the time it's, also when it's like so, at first you start doing that and then you take it away. That person to like Fuck get used to it.
Speaker 1:Used to it, yeah, where it's like they think this is you when you stop doing that.
Speaker 4:You're the dopamine that that You're bringing away. So now it's like so you're like feeding for it? Yes, you're feeding for it and you're like now anytime they do anything, and it's called breadcrumbs when they're like Go ahead.
Speaker 1:Preach does teach us.
Speaker 4:Teach, sir, but you're just like oh my God, they used to do like all this other great shit, so now we're just like leading up to that now, because then they'll stop doing it again.
Speaker 1:So I don't know, fuck up. And then you're good morning, yeah, and then they'll mess up. They'll mess up hard, and then they'll love bomb again, because now it's like, and then you're like, oh, when they mess up, now I get this treatment again.
Speaker 2:You know, but I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1:I feel like this generation I don't know how old you guys are, but like I feel like this generation wants to make a fucking word for everything or a thing for everything which I'm not mad at because I love, like the mental health awareness it's really good but also I feel like you do too much, like You're like, I'm offended because I do this, I do it I don't mean to love bomb, but I, it's I.
Speaker 1:So my mom shout out to Carla, carla, she calls it the honeymoon stage. She says I'm an expert at it. Right, so I, I love love and I love being in love. And I think, for me, like I just like I said, I have an addictive personality. So when I, when I like somebody, I want it all the time, I want to talk to you. I want you to know, I think you're so special to me. I think you know, I want you to know that and I want you to feel that. Does it fade away after a while? Yeah, but like that's the honeymoon stage. You know, now you get the real Julia, right? You?
Speaker 4:get the word. And now I'm a little board. Yeah, like yeah, I say when you get married, that's the starting.
Speaker 2:On that note. What happens? What do you got to do when you get that boredom you?
Speaker 3:know what happens when you keep it together.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I feel like it's really only been probably one person that has really kept my interest like that. Like right now I am talking to somebody but like it's hard, it's hard to keep that, I don't know. Like, I think like just keep it fun, keep it light. I, I am deep, I like deep conversations too, but like make sure that we're having a good time. I tell Destiny all the time like I can't have a boring life Right Like that, the thought of a boring life like somebody that doesn't make me laugh, that I can't just joke around and be myself with the thought of that and like living that for like the next 40 years pretending to be somebody or not?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like disgust me and I just what is a boring life Like?
Speaker 3:is that like when you like you know you sell down, you like you move in with each other?
Speaker 1:watch Netflix, no no, no, no, because I think if you're with your person, watching Netflix is fire right. Like we're, we love it. Like we're watching the same show, we're talking smack. I don't know if I've been swearing this whole time. We were talking shit together, you know. Like we do it all, like I think that that's fine as long as that's your person. I think a boring life to me is somebody that I can't be myself with.
Speaker 4:that I can't I genuinely go out and like not just go not, not, not go out, but like go away from that your partner, and like be yourself around other people. And then you have to go back home and like act like somebody you're not. Right, yes why do I have to like think about the way I'm acting in front of?
Speaker 1:Why do I have to?
Speaker 4:walk on eggshells, but when I'm with other people like it's fine, whatever I say, I don't have a filter. I can feel however I want and say anything I want, without repercussions.
Speaker 1:That's when you know who your person is right, like if I can be who I am around my friends and my family around you, then I think you're it for me, like I don't want to have to have a filter and like worry about, oh, if I say this, they're going to react a certain way.
Speaker 4:Or I can't mention that person or even like so. I was in a eight year toxic gas relationship with my baby.
Speaker 1:Yeah shout out to the toxic one.
Speaker 4:OK, shout out to Kota. We love him.
Speaker 1:Love Kota, but his dad ain't shit.
Speaker 4:And I felt like I couldn't not.
Speaker 1:You put him on blast. Everybody know who Kota.
Speaker 4:That is Not enough because he's still got bitches. So no, but it's like when you have to say for them, yeah, when you have to go out in the world and then, like You're like, why can't I be at home and act like this? Why can't I just say, if I have, I don't care, if it's all?
Speaker 1:we're getting no, I think we're getting out of the boring. For me, boring is I can't be myself around you, period. And also like I think, like I need somebody funny, like you guys were saying oh what if he's like ugly and like he's just.
Speaker 3:How long is he?
Speaker 1:funny Like any of money and Pay my bills. No, if you're funny period, like I love that if I can, if you laugh at my jokes, because I think I'm hilarious, you're so masculine Then yes, then we're going to have a good time, right, we're going to have a good life together.
Speaker 2:But I think my jokes because I'm hilarious.
Speaker 4:Honestly even if it's not funny, right, I'll point you at my fucking jokes you think it's not fucking funny.
Speaker 1:What's wrong with you? No, but so I think where destiny is going is I think that's where it does get toxic to where, like, they're a little bit more controlling because I've been in a similar relationship as well and they, you know, start saying, you know, they just start acting different when you act the way that you, that you act in general, and now you feel like you have to walk on eggshells. You feel like, oh, I can't say this certain thing around you because you're going to get upset, or I can't do this certain thing around you because then you're going to be mad and I live with you and we're together and it's not going to be fun for me If I act like myself. So now I have to, I have to put on an act at home which is terrible. Yeah, it's terrible, it's bad. I've been in this, we've been in a very similar relationship and it's just, it's not good and and, honestly, that's when you know like it's time to go. You got to get out of there.
Speaker 3:The hard part is getting out of there, because you might be splitting the bills and all that stuff. Not just that, yeah, my sister actually calls it a recession ship.
Speaker 2:You know we live together.
Speaker 1:We live together just because it, you know, financially makes sense for both of us.
Speaker 4:But yeah, I mean so long was because I was terrified about my financials, like if we broke up it would be like I can't. It's harder.
Speaker 1:It's harder, but you make it work and you'll do it. You'll do it, You'll figure it out. You have to like, especially for the women, like we are strong. We, I feel like women can do anything. We're definitely, we're definitely the superior being you pause you for a second.
Speaker 2:You were talking about the love bombing and the dopamine, waiting for that dopamine to come back. Do you think that that recession ship is just a symptom of the love bombing? Like you want that slim chance, like we're going to stay together and we go, use this you know our money as an excuse to stay together.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know, but in the back of your mind you're praying because they say they always. They use their words and they tell you that they're going to change, that they're going to be better, that they're going to do this Like when you tell them you want to break up, but then they don't.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can literally, we can get the text on, yeah.
Speaker 2:Honestly, you want me to bring up the literally like hold on, we want you to get to personal, but I have a good transition to this because I actually thought about this often. Is it good? I have my own opinion, but I'm trying to make this question open. Is it acceptable to stay together for the sake of your children?
Speaker 1:No no.
Speaker 2:Why not? Because then you're absolutely not. I think you're showing them.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're showing them like, hey, this. But you know what? I think this is such a good question because we were actually just talking about this. I'm like, I feel like we're so especially the younger generation is so like in tune with their mental health that they're like oh, because you're doing this and I've set my boundary and you're doing this still, like I have to go. But like, in reality, our parents, like my stepmom and my dad, have been together for 23 years. I'm I'm 30. So, like they've been together a majority of my life. There's not been great times. What I will say is like they've never like argued in front of me ever, but I know like there was. I don't want to get in their business, but there was a year where I was like, damn, why are you all together? You know, like a full year, like why are you here still? So I don't, I don't know. I feel like none of us know until we're really in that, in that space.
Speaker 4:Have you ever felt like cause you witnessed your mom and your dad not be together? Have you ever felt like, if it wasn't for me, they would still be together? No, no, there are kids who feel that way. They're like I and I feel like my son personally, like I feel like when he gets older and he tries to understand and I wanted to leave his dad before it was like too late, because, also, like, when you're that young, it's hard to like remember vivid memories, but I know already, as a three year old, he's going to have some trauma that he can vividly remember, like my mom doing this or my dad doing this, like when his dad put his hands on me in front of him. That's when I knew I had to get the fuck out, cause I'm like if you're comfortable the fact that he's comfortable doing that in front of him, and he has other children.
Speaker 4:So I know that I'm not the first one that he's done this to. But I'm like our son is so young, so as he gets older he's going to normalize that behavior and potentially put it on his future partner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love your strong as hell for like even noticing that and leaving for sure, cause I also grew up.
Speaker 4:My mom, my dad, ressen B's past away but, like my mom, has been with my stepdad since I was eight and I've never seen them argue, nor have I ever felt like my stepdad would put his hands on my mom ever ever Like my and I know for a fact that my mom would never put up with that shit. So I'm like why am I right I'm up with this behavior? Why am I letting this man this grump that he's 10 years old and why am I letting this grown as man?
Speaker 1:No, you're worth putting his hands on me.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 4:I'm like and I need to do better for Kota, because I want Kota to be a better man than his for sure, and he will be.
Speaker 1:You don't want him to be. He will be a hundred percent, but I feel like we're like.
Speaker 3:you're making a lot of points and you're going to teach your son like the manner, so you want him to you know like I, and I mean you know gruders you know everything. Yeah, like that's, that's, that's, that's actually a really good question. I do have one question. It's kind of like a huge segue, but what's the worst thing a girl can do to another girl?
Speaker 1:Sleep with her.
Speaker 4:I was going to say, I was like, not that, that's the worst, thing, hell yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean if it's, are they friends? Yeah, I mean, if we're friends and you, you know, like my partner, like why you're together after you're together either way, bitch, what do you mean? Have I? I've had someone do it to me? Yeah, she definitely has. I have never. I've never done that. No, I could never. I'm too loyal. I'm very loyal. Yeah, I would never do that.
Speaker 4:Somebody had to hurt you a lot.
Speaker 1:So you like yeah, let me okay. No, that's crazy. That's like. I feel like, isn't that a guy code thing to you be fucking the, the girls?
Speaker 4:that you're homies fucked with.
Speaker 2:You guys are sick.
Speaker 1:I could never Know for me, knowing that you like fucking. No, I could never. So.
Speaker 4:I feel like it's too much for my I have too much of an ego.
Speaker 2:Don't let Max fool you against his own action.
Speaker 3:No, I mean I can.
Speaker 2:Can earlier in the episode we talked about guys rushing the first move. But Max really can't do that. So you know he just lets that happen. You get in the first move, let them take.
Speaker 1:For you, max, good for you, I don't you know.
Speaker 3:I actually it's actually good for the people out there that are not shallow, like okay, yeah, like Max is a cool person. I like hanging out with him, even though he's paralyzed. He's got his disabilities, but he also has his strengths, just like everybody else. We'll ever strengths and weaknesses.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it was a very positive person. That's why I hate him, cuz I'm like let me just like Bring in all the negative. I'm like, let me just like hate something and he's like but what about this? And I'm like no.
Speaker 1:Honestly, destiny is a very negative person.
Speaker 4:People who aren't as negative, because then it's like damn, we both just that's why she hangs out with me too In the right.
Speaker 3:So goddamn positive, it pisses me off.
Speaker 4:Oh my god, literally.
Speaker 2:Shut the fuck off.
Speaker 4:I like mad.
Speaker 2:Let me hate somebody. Yeah, it's like cheese. Let me be saying.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we ask questions, or is there? Only question Okay, wait, I don't know, go desperate. Oh, I love a scale.
Speaker 4:Oh I.
Speaker 1:I'll have one. What flavors Do you have? The heat or no?
Speaker 2:we do have.
Speaker 1:I put a little tahini on there for your girl. Can I get a rim?
Speaker 4:And I got a rim.
Speaker 3:Okay, so let me do. Let me do a question. Yeah, okay so.
Speaker 1:What do you guys Look for in a girl? That's a good one.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, what's your like? Oh better, what, what, what go? What's your non-negotiable? Oh, eric, get over here.
Speaker 1:Non-negotiable.
Speaker 3:Two things, oh, go ahead hit it, hit it max.
Speaker 1:Three things, three make it four you have three non-negotiable. That's a lot of nano go. I got one. Don't hit me.
Speaker 4:Three things, three things everything else I can look past. Just don't hit me, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 1:I hate that for you. Just don't hit me.
Speaker 4:I wasn't raised that way. Oh my god, maybe I shouldn't know. That's fucked up, because literally sorry to cut you off, man. You know that I've been through it because I remember one time we were at my job and my manager was telling his story and I was standing next to him and he was like flailed his arms and I ducked Like he was gonna, and they were like everyone looked at me like you thought he was gonna hate you. What are you? Why are you doing that?
Speaker 1:That's crazy.
Speaker 4:Hell yeah no. I was like I didn't know it was that bad until other people started telling me like why?
Speaker 1:Why do you think, damn it's not us laughing at your trauma Like you were ready. You were ready for combat, like you were ducking you're like you put your hands up and everything Okay. Max non-negotiables go. I like that. Like she can't use.
Speaker 3:What are we talking about? Like Three. I'm talking about the three things.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're being physical.
Speaker 3:I'm talking about the three things. Why are you?
Speaker 1:being physical. We're talking about in general, so teeth is a big thing.
Speaker 4:Teeth is also a big thing for me, is it really?
Speaker 3:In general. I want someone down there. So no, we're doing non-negotiable.
Speaker 1:So non-negotiable for you is teeth. Like you, she has seven nice teeth. She's a nice teacher, so she's out immediately. Wow, your teeth are all right. Yeah, they're all right. Yeah, they're all right, they're okay.
Speaker 4:No, you have nice teeth. We've never had braces, so that's a great thing. You never had very white braces, yeah.
Speaker 1:I've never had braces either. Okay.
Speaker 4:So, that means your parents are poor, if you don't have braces or what.
Speaker 3:No it just means because I saw earlier with my mom about it your teeth look at you, yeah good genes.
Speaker 1:That's what that means. Okay, so teeth height, voice height what's your height limit? Like five for four, why four?
Speaker 4:We don't cut it we don't make it, we're, we're on the floor under.
Speaker 1:We can't ride that. No, we're not tall enough. Oh, you can't be taller than my boy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because one reason is because of the wheelchair, I don't want to like.
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And, uh, the voice. I just don't want my girlfriend to or have a deep bad boy.
Speaker 4:Deep voice. They don't like street modes, they're out there too.
Speaker 1:You know what's so crazy is. People tell me I have like such a cute voice, you have a hot ass voice.
Speaker 4:Do I really? Because they're like, at the end of the conversation You're like oh my god, what's your name?
Speaker 1:Every time, every time, and doesn't? He's like you're using that for evil. Here you want some.
Speaker 4:Here you go, I'm on my tongue.
Speaker 2:I was just raw dog and tahin she is life, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, uh, so we have teeth high and voice. That's it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead. Uh, non-negotiables, non-negotiables, what?
Speaker 2:do you want to bring me up to speed? I was out fetching drinks.
Speaker 1:So we're asking for and thank you for the drinks by the way?
Speaker 4:Can we take a? Can we have a commercial break? Because I got a pee, yeah what are we talking about?
Speaker 2:Bring me up to speed what happened.
Speaker 1:So we're talking about non-negotiables. Do you know what a non-negotiable is? So explain to me what a non-negotiable is so it's just something that you somebody like, a trait, or so, honestly, max went all physical, which I didn't think he would do, um, but yeah so. So max's non-negotiables are they have to have nice teeth. If they don't have nice teeth, they then that's out, hi just don't make them laugh.
Speaker 2:You can get by that five, four under.
Speaker 1:And what was the other one? I think they have to have a nice voice. So destiny and I are under his radar, obviously. So Shout at us. And so what's what's here All?
Speaker 2:right. So something I used to do Is I would invite someone that I'm hanging out with and I'd give them a water bottle, and if they did not drink that water bottle, I would have to give them dry ass, dehydrated ass crusty ass. Like come on, you need life in you and h2o is the easiest thing to do. I don't know how you women could get by with a cup of coffee. Talk about I got a headache. It's because you're dehydrated.
Speaker 3:That's so weird to say I got a migraine, haven't drank water since last name, so you have to drink water.
Speaker 2:That's the number one thing, just hydrate yourself hydrate yeah. Complaining about breaking out. Complained about migraine.
Speaker 1:That's it.
Speaker 4:That's the first thing I could think of. I like that.
Speaker 1:What if they're just living with?
Speaker 2:it, complaining about it.
Speaker 1:She's got me a racist.
Speaker 2:Damn Dehydration do you know what the leading cause of bad breath is? Guess it dehydration.
Speaker 1:Wow, you've done your research on the, on the on the water thing. Okay, so that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I gave desperate water bottle once. Is that my water she never used?
Speaker 1:it huh, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 1:Remember it's time to give me a water bottle. Don't do my girl like that. She loves water, because I do love water. Why can't I hear you? I can't hear you?
Speaker 2:She's a mile away from the mic.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're put. Your put your mouth on my lips. On how many times I have to tell you.
Speaker 2:All right for the rest of this podcast. Y'all gonna do the asmr segment.
Speaker 4:The sexual tension is there.
Speaker 2:I want to see us Asmr is when they're getting close to the mic and they talk like this. I like oh my gosh, what stop you're in my ear with that shit? You go make. You go make me feel like you could walk soon. Keep doing it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, give me the miracle, oh yeah.
Speaker 4:How much money do you have to have in order to date me? How about that? That's what I was about. You have to make more money than me, and if you don't, you're poor.
Speaker 1:Destiny is on it with this, to be honest.
Speaker 4:Honestly, because if I can do it, why can't you? Because, like, I'm. Yeah, honestly, I wish I had food stamps. My life would be so easy link card.
Speaker 2:I wish I could get fridge full all the time.
Speaker 4:My fridge is always full, baby, Okay so like I'm not in.
Speaker 3:Oh, you really like, what would you be looking for at?
Speaker 4:least 150, at least, at least 150, minimum oh, I hate this question minimum 150? And you need to show me, because I don't believe you.
Speaker 3:Okay, so 150. I guess I meet the bracket.
Speaker 1:Period max. Let her know I'm on it. I caught that that's a bartender for you, right?
Speaker 3:there, dude, what's that? I don't know. I swear that by shoes.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to say. I didn't want to ruin your mood for the podcast.
Speaker 4:I would never get the kicks. 30. Don't fuck with me, you know about us.
Speaker 1:One now. Look at us. Does it look like?
Speaker 2:y'all have redone your lip gloss like six times it comes off.
Speaker 3:Okay, so 150, 150, yearly, at least 150.
Speaker 4:Okay, you can't have any that wants to house House and you can't. Also, you can't rent. You have to own a house.
Speaker 1:I I don't like this question because I don't think that love should Um come out about love. It's about financial stability?
Speaker 4:No, I know.
Speaker 1:I know, I know, let me talk, though, because I gave you. I gave you a little chance.
Speaker 4:Yeah, more than 50 percent of marriage is end because of financial.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we don't we could be the other 50 percent, but I think that if you think about love analytically and In a different yeah and yeah.
Speaker 1:Analytically, then that's like you're compromising your feelings. I feel like for me, I think that Emotions it's hard for me to really genuinely like somebody Honestly. It's very hard for me like I am talkative and I'm very personable, but to genuinely like you and want to get to know you. It's very hard for me to find somebody to sell them. So when I do, if it is somebody that makes 50 000 a year or 150 000 a year, I don't ployd and selling drugs. I don't know. See, that's different.
Speaker 4:Ah, you like that. What if they?
Speaker 1:like?
Speaker 4:I definitely don't like that you don't know me.
Speaker 1:You don't know me, but um, so as far as I go, I think that I make enough money to support myself. I own my own home. I have you, very masculine for that. I have a Mercedes Benz.
Speaker 4:I do what I want to do Whisper that Mercedes Benz part. I have a Benz I have a Benz. I have a baby Benz because you're going to date someone who makes fifty grand. That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:No, but listen, so like I feel, like I can do for myself. So if I genuinely care about you and I like you, then I'm rolling with you.
Speaker 2:And then.
Speaker 1:But here's my thing, here's, here's what's important to me. I have a plan, right, I've always had a plan and I've always worked towards my goals and my plans. If you don't have a plan and like have steps to do that plan, that's where it comes a little rocky for me, because I don't want you to live off me and I don't want you to just think I'm doing what I'm doing now and I'm going to do that for forever. Right, I want you to be able to tell me hey, this is what I'm going to do, this is, this is how I'm going to get there. Then a bartender.
Speaker 4:I recommend it Ten other times.
Speaker 1:I'm going to fuck with you, then you know. But if not, then you know, then we have to think about it. But also, like I said, like I, it's emotional for me, so like I would hate to be, emotions come and go, I would hate to be with somebody that makes 150,000 a year and I have no connection with.
Speaker 4:OK, that's not what I'm saying. Is that way Wait?
Speaker 1:wait, wait, wait, wait. That sounds like a nightmare to me and I would never be with somebody just because they make a hundred and fifty thousand.
Speaker 4:No, baby you're getting the wrong idea. No, you're just. You can find someone that you have emotionally attachment Like. You can find someone like that, but they need you need to not let them in unless they meet this criteria, because the problems will later come where it's. You're going to feel resentment towards them because now they got comfortable with your love bombing and you buying them all of this shit. Ok, because you you started the relationship off like that.
Speaker 1:So now, now destiny is getting into an actual situation that's going on right now. We don't, we don't, we're not doing that bitch. We're talking about can you date somebody? That's, that's what do you? What do you want their financial situation to?
Speaker 4:be. He was going to end. I was going to go. I'm not even going to. You're going to feel so much resentment at the end.
Speaker 1:I'm not doing this with you, so let's go ahead and go on to the next one.
Speaker 3:You guys were asking questions no she just literally, because she's going now she's offended.
Speaker 1:Personal because, yes, she's getting personal, Anyway, anyway, personal. But long story short, you don't, it's not. I mean, you have to make a decent amount, but it doesn't have to be more than not a ghost. It doesn't have to be like a high amount. I think that as long as you have a plan and I like you, then we're thirty, but OK, what can say?
Speaker 4:I'm the right.
Speaker 1:So yeah, come on now. Thank you, Max. What about you? What about you guys?
Speaker 2:Well, I worry about that. Actually, now that I think about it, the woman needs to make more than me. Yeah, Eric wants to be cattle she needs to have a plan, all right, she needs to have steps.
Speaker 1:Holy, not only family.
Speaker 4:What to making less? Like how much you make.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I want to be equal Right. Julia said.
Speaker 4:Thank you. The woman needs to make more than you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and have a plan have a plan.
Speaker 1:It's funny, I love that for you I created.
Speaker 2:Ok, see, look at nails need to match your toes, if not, that's a fucking no brainer.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's your non-negotiable.
Speaker 4:You're not going to pay for it, so the nails they match the toes, but he doesn't pay for the nails, damn she got to do it herself.
Speaker 2:Thanks One of your secret. There's only one reason why.
Speaker 1:Here we go. I know the reason. Yeah, I did know, here we go.
Speaker 2:Julia.
Speaker 1:I was the reason. Honestly, it seems like.
Speaker 4:Julia was your guest of honor, but I am. Was she here for free?
Speaker 1:You know what you know. The vibes are shorty. I'm always the main character.
Speaker 4:This is my girl, though.
Speaker 1:Any room, I step in.
Speaker 4:Because I will pay for us at the end of the day. Like that, that's my baby. Like that.
Speaker 2:Destiny. You were paralyzed like Max was to like you should come on a podcast. You spend like a year coming. I ain't coming on a podcast. I'm like I bet I'll pay for your nails. Come on a podcast, she's like run it.
Speaker 4:I thought we weren't going to talk about this.
Speaker 1:She instantly said one thing about destiny.
Speaker 2:She's been waiting to press that button. Too bad, the audio don't come up yet.
Speaker 1:One thing about destiny if you pay for her nails, you're in wrong.
Speaker 2:Definitely out of jail. Destiny, I'll pay for your nails, destiny it's a go for me.
Speaker 3:The technique never fails.
Speaker 4:Destiny would never bail out anybody out of jail.
Speaker 1:All right. What else are we talking?
Speaker 4:about.
Speaker 2:Are we continuing the dating advice no if you don't turn the volume off on your phone.
Speaker 1:Please.
Speaker 2:Julia was preaching and you out here scrolling through Snapchat.
Speaker 1:I was going crazy. I was dropping gems for y'all.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. Write it down, Drake. I need to have my own podcast for real.
Speaker 1:Follow me soon Just join us.
Speaker 2:Join us, you can have your podcast.
Speaker 4:She's trying to.
Speaker 1:No, I do want to make a podcast.
Speaker 4:I want to make one.
Speaker 1:I feel like I bought the microphones but I just don't know how to do anything else Don't record it.
Speaker 4:This is out there. You don't have to record it, like I would record it on fire.
Speaker 1:Like why wouldn't you want to see me? Well, yeah, but go ahead, Max.
Speaker 2:Spit the next question. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 4:Yeah, let's get it rolling. We got, we got a thing Does this thing.
Speaker 2:Oh see, my mom's calling it's emergency.
Speaker 1:I got my dog out yeah.
Speaker 3:We got a thing, yeah, uh, I mean, I just constantly hear about guys bitching and fucking moaning about girls. Yeah, you brought up love bombing. You brought up like suffocating, like you know, like that. So what are other things that like? Maybe maybe a guy that is listening right now can like fix on themselves, go to counseling.
Speaker 4:Yeah, honestly, if it's so good, uh, one of the main things that helped me leave my toxic gas relationship was getting educated about like what was actually happening Cause, like when you're in that situation, you almost you're a, you're the victim, right. Like this person is doing all of these crazy as things to you that they have made you feel like this is normal. Like you blowing up my phone, me feeling guilty for going out. Like yeah. I've been called a slut for putting on a bathing suit.
Speaker 1:I've been called a slut for a picture with full clothes on. I love that. That's crazy.
Speaker 2:And not only that yeah.
Speaker 1:Why am I a slut? Like we were together, I should never be anything other than a fucking queen, right.
Speaker 4:So it's the fact that this person feels so comfortable with disrespecting and disrespecting you and you becoming so numb to the fact I'm asking, like a person like that's trying to approach you oh, they need to go to therapy 100%, oh for sure. The first step is recognizing that you have a problem. It's like damn why? Because it's internal, it's, you're insecure and you feel this type of way and you're projecting that onto me by making yourself feel better, by calling me a slut.
Speaker 1:Destiny's toxic trade is also thinking everyone else needs therapy and she doesn't. Oh no, I know.
Speaker 4:What about 100%? What?
Speaker 3:about what? About being poor, though? So you guys say you go out, right, you had a lit weekend, like last weekend. I'm sure guys came up to you, right, of course, okay, so what are some advice like from that out there, like to as if, like it's kind of it's hard to like, what would you give them advice? To go up to a woman, and if the woman is not feeling you, what are you? You leave.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's not feeling you. You got to go buddy, Because if not you look weird.
Speaker 4:And also, what are your?
Speaker 1:intentions. When do you know? When do you know? I think she'll make it clear enough Right off the bat. I make it clear I don't know about other women, but like, if I'm uninterested, I mean, we've gone out, we've had nights where there's just constant, just men coming up to us, me in particular too. You know, like you know, and I've, literally, I've, I she has me on video literally telling somebody I'm sorry but no, like I just have no energy to entertain, no energy to why?
Speaker 2:Because I don't need you to buy me a dream.
Speaker 1:You know like I'm so sorry, but no, like I think I think women need to. Here's the thing A lot of women will entertain for a drink, or entertain for this or for that when you're like 21. Yeah, I think now that I'm older, I don't even do that because, listen, it's a fucking $15 drink. I'll buy myself a $15 drink. I will get myself bottle service. I do not care, I do not want to talk to you.
Speaker 4:We don't need people to buy us bottle service. That's a funny thing, it's like, because you'll be able to tell right away from like oh okay, so I bought a drink, that's my that's my career. Your profession. So I watched this happen in front of me. Like women will come to the bar by themselves a drink, but these little ass girls will entertain someone they know they have no intention of talking to.
Speaker 1:It's different if you are. We've been there, though.
Speaker 4:We've been there.
Speaker 1:You make probably 15, you probably make $15 an hour. You know, like, yeah you, you want somebody to buy you a drink, so you can't be mad at the little girls that do that at all.
Speaker 4:But I'm saying as a, as a kid closer to the mic. He said bitch who is a man like you should read the signs. And also, what are your intentions. Are you trying to fuck this girl? Are you trying to like see a beautiful girl at the bar and you actually want to get to know her? Right, I should have told you.
Speaker 1:If he's trying to follow in love with the club, don't take anything serious at the club. If she fucking denies it, she denies it. I think. Once she denies it, though, let it go Like you got to. Let it go, move on. If anything, move on. Buy shorty next to her a drink and she might get jealous and holler at you. You know, like I don't. It's, it's nothing serious and all honesty, like doesn't he just said? She said don't, fucking don't fall in love at the club.
Speaker 4:It's not serious. People are different when they're drinking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's nothing serious. You're having fun, like it's. It's a vibe and you're vibing, that's it.
Speaker 4:Falling victim, as the bartender, to someone trying to be like sincere and take you out and giving them an opportunity, and just found out that they're just trying to fuck you Like a hundred percent. I'm not taking anybody at the club serious $500 at dinner and then bought bottle service at the club afterwards and then try to fuck me and I'm like what? Like I was feeling you, like I thought you were a real person and then you tricked me and now I will never speak to you again. I don't take anybody.
Speaker 1:I made at the club serious. It's not a serious setting.
Speaker 4:I never done that, and then it's not a serious. It's like you just proved to me why I?
Speaker 1:I get it. I mean, I've met when we've met. I've met multiple people at the club. Take me out, that's it. I'm cool. Thank you for the fun. Do you have something? Shevlar is dead. No, no, I don't.
Speaker 4:You better open the fucking door. Honestly, I don't hold the door open.
Speaker 1:Honestly, it's a little when you don't have it.
Speaker 4:You don't get it, but when you get it you're like you're so impressed, I'm cool. I had someone say don't get out, I'm opening the door for you.
Speaker 1:It's just on you? Yes, I have, and it's not a big deal to me. Or like, race me to the door to open my shit, it's not a big deal because you're in your masculine.
Speaker 4:It's okay, I am a little masculine.
Speaker 1:I want to open the door, babe, I am. I'm never the one to open the door. She opened the door for me. She's like when did I just man open the door for you? Don't do that to me.
Speaker 3:Are you saying? Are you saying are you literally saying? Are you saying, like if I were to take you to dinner, do you want me to open your?
Speaker 4:door. Are you asking her to dinner right now? It's not you in particular, but I'm saying in general, like I don't want you to, but if you do, like it just shows me that like you actually give a fuck, it's your card or her. Like I want, like if you, as a female, I want you to lead. As a male, you should want to lead, you should want to provide, you should want to protect, you should want to. I understand.
Speaker 3:I understand so things like that.
Speaker 4:It's not dead. It's not dead.
Speaker 1:Stay chivalry. One more time for us Chilory, it's chilean here.
Speaker 4:Chilory, see, like you pour all the tahin on your. I knew, but then like none of it goes in there it does bitch.
Speaker 1:I go like this.
Speaker 4:Do you lick it? Oh okay, I know, that's right.
Speaker 3:Alright, so We've got. We've got a been through a lot. I'm gonna be traumatized when I would not, are we?
Speaker 1:traumatizing you. How long did these?
Speaker 3:usually last.
Speaker 1:I love this.
Speaker 3:I can take this one for another hour.
Speaker 2:I gotta come back.
Speaker 4:No, no, no, no, no. There's no part two. Let's keep going. There's no part two, cause I'm gonna need my toes done next time.
Speaker 1:Let me just I'm gonna need my toes done.
Speaker 2:Julia did more talking to you. I think she needs the next one.
Speaker 4:Wait, I know that's what I'm talking about. I want my. What the fuck you?
Speaker 2:want some drink with your tahin.
Speaker 4:We like it spicy. First of all, mind your own business and drink your little essential water first, yeah.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 4:Max Cause I'll drink that whole bottle.
Speaker 1:Can we let Max talk, cause you really are trying to outshine my boy.
Speaker 3:I appreciate that You're welcome. I got you so I knew this would happen, so I have a little things in life that you forget about, that we forget about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like a little things.
Speaker 3:So for me it is. When I was walking back then years ago, one of the littlest things that I didn't know was a privilege and a right was breathing.
Speaker 1:So into this day.
Speaker 3:it's like snapping who are you texting?
Speaker 1:What's this man's name?
Speaker 2:Eric, listen to Max.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that's my toxic story.
Speaker 4:I want to know who everyone is Speaking from a Third party.
Speaker 1:Totally objectively.
Speaker 4:Someone who has gone through it. I remember, like now I was an adult, like realizing cause, when you're paralyzed and you have to rebuild all the muscles in your body so you can stand. That is just privileged, I remember. So I know you have that little board back there where they like stand you up so you can put all the weight. I vividly remember so so you. Being so frustrated like not being able to pick up my head.
Speaker 4:Cause you're a blood pressure. Cause you're a blood pressure. Yeah, exactly, and you're literally just. I remember just being in a bed all day and then going to physical therapy and then trying to put me to stand straight up and I was just like I hated it, Like pass out. Yeah, Exactly, Cause your blood is rushing down To yourself.
Speaker 4:And I remember being in physical therapy and not being able to pick up my head and realizing, like, how much energy it takes just to do simple motions is insane, like and people take it for granted every single day. Like the fact that you're even breathing is just a miracle, and able to do what you're doing with this podcast is a miracle. And you were very fortunate, like, to not die in that car accident. You know what I mean. The you know there's angels out here who are alive and well, doing what they need to do to make an impact on the world.
Speaker 3:I really appreciate that I'm asking only the little things that you, that you like, I wouldn't say forget about, but that you're like happy, happy, you have.
Speaker 1:I think it's hard, for maybe, like for you two it's a little bit easier. I mean, maybe you're around it more too, so like you, you probably can, can relate to, but like I feel like maybe, if you've never been through a situation like that, you can't really be like. Oh, these are the things that I'm grateful for. I think we forget about them, right, because we just do it, we wake up. I mean, I'm pretty spiritual, I'm religious, so like I do wake up every day and pray and thank God for waking up, right, like because I it could be the opposite way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it couldn't be, I couldn't have woken up, you know. So I am grateful for that. But, like I've never not been able to walk, so I've never like had to thank God that I can walk, you know like, or thought to thank God that I can walk, you know. So I think that maybe, like people in your position, it's it's dope that you guys see it like that. You know, like Destiny just said, like I remember not even being able to lift my head, so like that's something to be grateful for, but I've never, I've never not been able to lift my head. So I don't know that, you know. So I don't thank God for that and I don't think of that immediately.
Speaker 1:All right, so take take their perspectives out of it.
Speaker 2:From your perspective, what's the little thing that you?
Speaker 1:so I'm like breathing, like you just said.
Speaker 2:I don't have some fresh water.
Speaker 1:I'm struggling.
Speaker 4:We're so gritty, I'm struggling. Can somebody sponsor?
Speaker 1:them. Yeah, can somebody sponsor the water? So I mean with that I guess I'm great. Oh, you know what I can say? I've been without a car before. I'm grateful I have a car.
Speaker 2:I'm grateful for my Mercedes Period.
Speaker 1:What's your name. I'm grateful. I'm grateful I have a car in general, the fact that it's a Mercedes, you know I love that too, but I am grateful for you, I know you do. I'm just grateful for a car in general. I'm grateful I have a. I'm grateful I have a job, because I've been without a job before, so I'm grateful that I have a job. I'm grateful for my career.
Speaker 2:What a Thanksgiving, special Max.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm grateful. Honestly, I think, something that we take for granted when we're younger. I'm grateful for my family. Like I worked all day and then we went to the gym and I have a dog at home and I called my sister to go pick up my dog and she went immediately. So I'm grateful for family, for sure. I think when we're younger we don't think about our family as people that are always going to be there for us or are there for us in general, we think, oh, friends going out, whatever. But I'm super grateful, for I have a big family and I love them and I'm grateful for every single one of them. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:And shout outs to all those nail texts, because if y'all didn't exist, we wouldn't have had Destiny and Julia on the podcast today Shout outs to Claudia's nail teak.
Speaker 1:I know that's right.
Speaker 4:Shout outs to Tony Chapnail. Thank you. Speaking of the little things, I guess one last question and this long ass podcast episode, which was Not long ass podcast hey, hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 2:It's nothing but gratitude, nothing but gratitude. But you know, speaking of little things, does dick size really matter? Yeah, dare shoes. She said yeah before I put the question mark on the sentence. Megs, I was going to shoe my shirt, but I can't.
Speaker 1:Oh nah it's too small.
Speaker 4:I'm a teeny tiny.
Speaker 1:Not a teeny tiny.
Speaker 4:I'm a teeny tiny, so you're good.
Speaker 1:Mmm, we're ending the podcast now. No names, no names you didn't answer the question, though we're ending the podcast now. Does dick size matter? I think it matters to you guys no we're not a vagina.
Speaker 2:You know, factually, the vagina is only like three, less than three inches deep, but can't expand to triple the size.
Speaker 4:Honestly, there's like a video of this lady who's like okay, eight inches. That's like whoa, like four is fine, okay, four is fine. I'm going to say four is fine, four inches bigger than eight. No, you're lying.
Speaker 1:Four inches is fine.
Speaker 4:Have you measured? I know you're, I know you're a bd, not that.
Speaker 1:No, that's how you like girls now.
Speaker 4:Y'all can't, y'all don't use real dick.
Speaker 1:No, I'm going off of real dick bitch, I'm not. I think. I think that, as far as that goes, um, I think it matters to you more. But I would say, about the motion of the ocean, four inches is a hell. No for me, hell, no, hell, no, hell, no. The craziest thing is you. You want somebody with a hundred and fifty thousand dollar income, but you're okay with four inches, I'm not okay with four inches you just said, four inches is okay. Rewind the tape, not Rewind the tape.
Speaker 4:Four is fine. Okay, four is fine. I'm going to say four is fine.
Speaker 1:She just said that. She just said that Because I don't only use dick in bed. Period you can't, I mean sex is.
Speaker 4:Especially when you're dating a girl.
Speaker 1:You can't, and what about it?
Speaker 3:I have four and a half, so Okay, he's good he's good, based on Destiny's measurements.
Speaker 1:Good, honestly also, I feel like we we get out of, like we it's so much about length that you also get out of thickness. I think thickness does matter too, because I think I mean just out of a, so you know, I think like a four and a half. And Max don't do that. I mean, according to destiny, it's the lit. Four inches or more is lit.
Speaker 2:I find out on the next episode of life to the Max on if dick size matters.
Speaker 3:Signing off.
Speaker 2:It was wonderful having Julia Wait, is it wonderful having destiny? And not? He corrected himself.
Speaker 1:I heard trying to be the main character of my podcast. We all know I was a star. I find Shout out to destiny, though I'm trying to have trauma. Shout out to you, girl.
Speaker 3:Thank you for sharing. Everybody likes. This podcast is streaming on every platform and we just got a YouTube channel going up. So you go to life for the Max podcast and subscribe, like and post notification bell. If you know anything else, okay, we're out.
Speaker 1:Hey, it's lit. I felt like I was in a different dimension, that little. The headphones kind of go crazy.