I Took My Teens Phone Away!
Sun, Mar 31, 2024, 6:15PM • 2:58:25
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
child, telling, giving, phone, Bible, scripture, spanking, instructions, lesson, mom, dog, talk, parenting, kingdom, frustration, mindset, speeding, kids, build.
Hello, hello, hello!
Welcome back, guys, to the Dear Anaya Podcast & Blog.
This is the parenting segment of the show. I want to jump into today's show.
Today's show is a doozy. It's been a lot. Listen, when you're parenting teens, it's always a lot! I took my teen's phone away. She deserved every bit of the consequence. You know, as a teen, they need help understanding balance. They don't understand that. We can't just do one thing, and that's it. There is a balance to life. The balance is where we work, do chores, go to school, manage personal hygiene, and follow mom’s instructions.
Do you get what I'm saying? Unfortunately, they're still new to life, you know? It's crucial to look at developmental milestones with your children and see that they just learned this significant milestone and have just reached it. We're jumping into another lesson of life. We are working on learning how to do the dishes, which takes time and requires more than one lesson. It takes many lessons. You know, for example, understanding that you need to wash the dish a second time if it's greasy.
It's like school. You have an entire week of lessons. Then, you take the test. I consider it the same because if I want to parent my child where I still have her affection, I won't talk down to her and act as if she is not worthy of my respect. You have to take the good with the bad and make your parenting an investment. You're investing in this child. But the minute you start talking down to them and saying, “Well, are you stupid? Like, I told you how to do this the last time!” They're still in practice so that they will get everything later. That's going to discourage your child, and that is going to start building resentment.
A soft answer turns away wrath. So, if you want to turn away wrath in your children so they won't rebel against you, you must ensure you talk to them respectfully. It reminds me of the scripture that says, Obey your mother and father, right? The fourth commandment is to obey your mother and father. So your days could be extended. Then, the second part of that scripture says, parents, do not provoke your children to anger. So, if you're going to provoke your children to anger, you can expect them not to respect you because there is an add-on to that scripture. Right? It is a supplement, as if it's not changing the beginning. It's just adding on to the beginning of the scripture. So, be conscious of that.
I recommend being cautious of that.
What's up? We're human. We're moms; we're human. We will get frustrated, right? They're doing it intentionally to avoid following our instructions, right? If you perceive your children doing something deliberately to make you angry, that is the voice of pride. Be careful with that. That's the thought of pride and scripture. We cast down imaginations that raised themselves above the knowledge you got, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ. That scripture lets you know that thoughts are our imaginations and spirits. You want to take inventory of what you think so that you can cause a child to be more cooperative and not less rebellious.
1. Building frustration
I first want to discuss how it builds frustration. When you're dealing with your teen and what they're doing, it can get very frustrating if they follow your instructions. If they need to do your homework or come home on time, whatever it is, you know, your rules are better than mine. So, when your child comes in and does not do as they are instructed. The first thing you think of taking is their phone. That's a no-brainer because this child needs to follow instructions. The number one thing that hurts us the most as adults is paying a fine for something we did that we weren't supposed to do, for example, traffic tickets. The best way to teach an adult not to go back and do it is to slap a hefty fine on the consequence of what they have done.
Are you going to come down with the hammer of God? As a parent, you need to pace yourself.
This child can push you to a breaking point when you're frustrated, as my teen does to me. Oh my god. Do I want to hug her? (Hint of sarcasm) Because it gets frustrating, but you don't want to get it to the point where it's yours; you've built frustration to the end of your no-return. When you reach the point of no return, the devil gets cast on you by your children. And this is your child. You must ensure that everything you do with this child is calculated so you can still be the nurturer and good mom. Right? And a patient mom makes sure they're not casting anything on you to bring you out of character like my teen does to me. You're not going to get me out of character. You better do what I'm telling you to do. Or that's it. So, the building frustration part of your issue will have to end. Don't allow your children to build frustration. In this situation, you are nipping in the bud. You have to be quick.
Consequences have to come fast and snappy. When you're speeding, the cops don't say, “Oh, I'll get them next week. No, when you're speeding, the cop clocks you, and they'll immediately come for you. Why do they do that? It is because they have to police the land. They have to ensure they're keeping order in the land right away. Because when they see deviant behavior, they correct it right away. These guys are not waiting to give them, saying they won't know I was speeding. I got his license plate number. I'm going to stay. I'm going to follow him. See where he works? Then, I will clock them and make sure he doesn't speed again. Or I'm going to tax them. No, they do it right away, quickly and snappily. So don't allow frustration to build.
Because when you allow frustration to build, that will create anxiety in you, and that energy is taking your life from you, and that is not the way God disciplines. Scripture talks about how if you do not withhold discipline from your child, that's not love. How will you be able to go in and love this child and teach them the lesson? It's not about, oh, I'm going to teach you a lesson. It's not about Raph. It's about you loving yourself and ensuring that you are teaching the child the lesson so that you can teach them how to love you. Because if you're not teaching your child how to love and respect you, the Bible says you will follow my commands if you love me. So
So, if you love me, you will follow.
My commands. The Bible says if you're not teaching your child how to love you, then you're not teaching your child how to love society. You're not setting this child up for success. You're setting this child up for failure because you want to be good; be nice because you want to. If you spare the rod, you spoil the child—bottom line. There are no ifs, and you can't get around it. That is the law of the mind.
The concerned intervention comes next, right, then you try to give them, you know, the talk. The talk only helps some of the time. Because what you're doing is you have to train the child's body. When you potty train your train, you're training your child's body to use the bathroom. That's why the Bible says that if you train a child and raise a child in the way that they should go, they will not depart. Why is that? It becomes muscle memory, and this is what you're trying to do. You're trying to train your children and their bodies to do what you need. They to do, they will not depart.
Your intervention is the best way to come.
In and lay the law down. So your child will not run over you and all other rules. It seems as if
It isn't kind to do this, but I must tell you. The Bible says, " Spread the rod, spoil the child. I have so many questions. You know what the meaning of that scripture is, but what I have found out in my walk, you know, with Christ and the truth and how to do it because the Bible is a book of the mind. It's a book that teaches you how to treat people and live your life.
If you want to learn, people read the Bible, right? Get the meat from the Bible. It'll be able to tell you how to treat people, how to treat your children, and how to discipline your children; the entire manual is in there. The Creator made a product, and then he gave you a manual. You'll never need more time to build the product or assemble it to ensure that you keep it running smoothly. You need to read the instructions to ensure the investment. This is the part of the talents.
2. Concerned intervention.
This means that you go in and give one talk because your kids know the rules. That one talk is the warning. Warning: my mom used to say it always comes before destruction. Give one talk. Do you understand what I'm saying? Because if you give more than one talk, there's a scripture in the Bible that talks about how a woman came and
About how a woman came, and he asked Jesus to heal her demon-possessed daughter. When she asked Jesus to heal her demon-possessed daughter, the scripture says that he didn't answer her that he answered her, not a word that lets me know he ignored her. Then she came back and was like, scripture says, that she began to worship him. What is that? That is the second time she asks him, so she says, Lord, please heal my daughter. Please have mercy on us. Jesus turned around and said the disciples told Jesus to send this woman away. Then, he said it was not right. He wasn't talking to her. He said it was not right for me to take the food out of the children out of the mouths of the children of Israel and give it to the little dogs. I've heard preachers say that he wasn't calling her a dog. He was calling her a dog. She was a dog because.
She was in the mindset of a dog.
The dog spirit is the non-believing spirit, which is the non-believing mindset. I am doing a segment from the spiritual segment of the show that talks about the book of Revelation and explains everything about it. It's in that segment. You guys should check it out. I'll link it below.
And then she says
Yes, but even little dogs eat from their master's table. It tells you the mindset of the dog. It will take anything. It's not picky because it doesn't. It doesn't deem itself worthy. So it's like a begging. It's begging. You don't say. So I'll tell you this: be careful what you're worshiping. In your children. Because what you worship grows. Remember, we enter his gates with thanksgiving and his court with praise. That's why we enter into the kingdom of heaven with thanksgiving and into the court with praise. So, if you are not checking your children, you will enter its gates thick with complaining and into its court with praise. How do you praise the dog? How do you praise that mindset? But keep begging. You're begging now. You don't see yourself as worthy to receive the respect and honor you deserve as a parent, and you're setting that child up for failure in your parenting. You're setting society up for failure in your parenting. Hold that child accountable. You need to set the stage.
3. Setting the Stage
You need to set the stage, and setting the stage will take some mental strength from you. Because, like my mom used to say, it's harder on me than it is on you. Because you want to give your kids a bunch of good stuff. But guess what? Discipline is good discipline. It is not evil because you set your child up for success for the rest of their life. If they respect you, what makes you think they will appreciate their daycare provider? What makes you think they're going to respect their teachers? What makes you think they're going to respect their children? What makes you think they're going to respect their husbands? It will be a generational curse if you don't jump off and decide to discipline your children.
Like I said, it's going to take some mental strength, but you have to step in, and you have to say
You can't have your phone.
I'm recording where you are coming out here.
But I'm recording. Why are you coming out? I told you not to come out. Oh.
Because if you spare the rod, you will spoil the child. Here's another scripture that other Scripture talks about how if you hit your child with Iran, he will not die. All that's getting into dangerous grounds because we don't believe in spankings. Suddenly, it could be better. Be careful because the Bible says that what is good will be perceived as evil in the end days. You need to set the stage by giving a spanking.
Listen, I know, right, because this is a teen. This is a teen and teenagers. I think they're grown. They don't get spankings anymore. How dare you even think of raising a hand to a teenage child? But you have to be ready. You have to be strong. You have to surround yourself with a community of people that will back you up. If you don't, you're going to be in for it because that child will rebel that child will rebel.
Know how you surround yourself with a community that will support you?
You do not believe spanking is necessary if so many people are around. First, you must surround yourself with people who fear God because the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. If you're not in this mindset, you're not in the mindset of wealth. You're in the mindset of the kingdom. Of hell. What is a kingdom? A kingdom is a state of mind, a state of thoughts. The book of Revelation talks about how dogs will not make it into heaven, and then it goes on to list a bunch of characteristics that are related to that dog: sexually immoral, adultery, idolatry, all of these different things that pull you away from the mindset of heaven from the kingdom of heaven again, a kingdom is just a state of mind.
But what happens when you give a child a spanking? You are causing light to go back into that child. Because something the kingdom of darkness or if you want to, like demystify it, and electron in accumulation of electrons have surrounded an orbit of this child. What happens when electrons surround an atom, sorry, a nuclei? The nuclei become hyper.
The nuclei of the atom become hyper, and it's because an accumulation of electrons orbiting the nuclei makes it negatively unstable. All thoughts are from the unseen. The Bible says that the things in the scene are made from the unseen: atoms, ladies and gentlemen. That is an atom, that's it.
If the scene is made from the unseen.
All that is is an atom; then, you must see how science sees it. It is scientifically proven that impact makes a sound when we look at the mantis shrimp underneath the ocean when he claps his claws. A mantis shrimp looks like a lobster when he claps his claws. The impact from the class is what sends vibrational ripples through the water that create light. This is why the Bible tells you not to spare the rod, and it also explicitly tells you to beat your child with a rod. I know that sounds harsh, but if you spare the spanking, you will inevitably continue to worship the darkness that's in them that's telling them to disrespect you and not to follow your instructions. You're setting them up for failure through society. You would have cast more darkness onto that child. They will be able to do that when they get older. This is a problem. This is a big problem, guys.
It happens once you spank the child, and that sound ripples through the water of their body; it creates light that is scientifically proven.
It is the kingdom of sonoluminescence. It is the biological Kingdom of Saudi luminescence and how light is created through all things. Big Bang Theory. God said let there be light, and the impact from the forest and the power of His voice rippling through the water created light when there are severe storms, that impact from the sound of thunder rippling through the water in the clouds. Creates lightning. So it's up to you. It's up to you. Suppose you want your child to live today. Are you going to get an angry child? Absolutely.
4. Resistance and Anger
Will there be resistance? Absolutely. Because one, they don't want a spanking, they don't want, you know, to have their phone taken away, and this is a problem. Right? I remember telling my daughter,“ Give me your phone. She refused to do it. She ultimately refused to provide me with her phone. Then she started going away from me. My mind told me to get the belt. I was fully ready to spank this 13-year-old child who was bigger than me.
I’m still being prepared. I needed to prepare. I was outside. I couldn't leave her outside because I didn't want her to do anything she shouldn't have done. I didn't want her to run away. I didn't want her to react in any negative way. I said What can I spank her with? To get my point across? When you wait to this point, you do not prepare yourself. I did not prepare myself. I didn't come out there with a belt. I have no flip-flop in place. Do you see what I'm saying? There was nothing ready for me to speak to this child, and she had the nerve to stand up and show me that she wasn't going.
She wasn't going to follow my instructions because she already needed to follow my instructions. I had to take away her phone because I caught her prepping the window to read away that night to be with some boy. The essential part of this lesson is that if your child is not at least 1718 years old, they shouldn't have a phone, and that's going to be hard because there are a lot of parents giving these kids phones.
You don't know how to deal with the issues because you're already at the escalation point. It would be best if you hadn't given this child a phone, and you don’t know why I'm talking to you so adamantly because I am talking to you. Me: Don't be mean. I should have never done that. I am trying to give my child everything they've never had. Now, I must deal with the consequences of my daughter doing things. The phone that she should have had. She had no business doing it on the phone because she was 13 years old and incapable of risk management. That part of her brain is not fully developed. This is where the Bible says that the imagination of a man's heart is evil from his youth. Why? Because they are stuck in the downstairs brain. That is where the reptilian brain is. That is what the serpent in the Garden of Eden is: the reptilian brain.
Guys, you don't know how furious I was at myself for even coming to this point. I wasn't so angry at her; I was more angry at myself. Because I allowed her to do it, and her safety is in my hands. I should have never given her a phone. Then, once we figured out this was happening, guess what she did? She runs away. I follow her. I called 911 at the same time to follow her to the cops, and we both pulled up at the same time. She's sitting; she's walking on the side of the road, going towards a place where we just saw a girl get jumped the other night on our way home from the movies at six o'clock at night, mind you. I don't stay out past that time. What happens is she's walking tours.
A place we just saw a girl get jumped the week before when we were on our way home from the movies. I blocked my daughter off. Guess who made her give me the car? The phone is my property. After all, I bought it; I got that phone because I paid for it. That's my stuff. Give it back. But it would be best if you didn't get to that point. I'm trying to get you to understand this. Mom: You must be more brilliant. You have to be five steps ahead of them. You must have the one up on them, or else this child will drive you crazy, and it will only be your fault. Do you get what I'm saying?
5. Withdrawal Symptoms:
After dealing with this child, the child needed some therapy. I needed therapy. I'm telling you all about therapy as a flex. I needed some treatment. Because she was too much for me then, she went through withdrawals.
Oh, Mom, please, please give me my phone back. What do I have to do so you can return my phone? You know what? I should have said nothing. Nathan. Nada zilch. You don't get it back. So boom. After giving her the consequence of one day, I gave it back to her. God told me three days in thought form, and I didn't follow his instructions. Who's going to pay Peter? Pay the piper now is about to go down. The next day, she was hospitalized and discharged the night off. The day after that, she was rehospitalized, took the phone, and Texas me, and told me I was with the boy's name and that we had previously gone through the situation two days ago. I was like, when we get this, she calls the cops and tells the cops that she's feeling suicidal and she needs to go to the hospital. When the cops got there, I saw her leave. I had a with me on my job. I saw her leave. I said something was not right. Because she didn't get my keys. I already told her about going to the car by herself. Something's not right. I run downstairs, and she's gone. I text her. I said where are you? She says I'm with the boy. The cops call me, and I go frantically looking around. For her in the neighborhood. She's gone. We have an iPhone. I allowed her to have her own iCloud. You don't do that. Guys, these are the things that I'm telling you that I learned, and I'm trying to prevent you from having to go through a lesson. You have your kid, and you gave your kid an iPhone. That's all the protection and location you need. Don't tell them they can correct that and create their iCloud. Get in there. Make them use your iCloud because that's the only way that you'll be able to find them.
Through your Find Me app, she goes missing the next day, and we're in a fight because she thinks it's okay for her to do what she's trying to do. She needs to be more accountable for herself. But again, she's 13. I can't expect her to hold herself accountable when she hasn’t developed or reached certain milestones. A teen’s brain fully develops once they're 25-26 years old, sometime in their mid-20s. That's when their brains fully develop risk management. I expected this child to manage risk at 13 years old. When a boy sent her pictures of his private parts, she didn't know how to handle them, and I put her in jeopardy.
I put my child in jeopardy. I didn't protect her from herself. I didn't protect her from the little stink in the booty boys. I'm dealing with a child who is utterly manic because of this nasty little boy sending her pictures, and then she's signed on to her iCloud. I can't track it because she signed on to her own iCloud on her phone. I can't find her device on my Find Me because it's not connected to my iCloud. WWE moves, rookie moves. I was a straight working you guys. I'm a brand new woman today.
You know what I'm saying? Like I'm here to flourish your garden with all my mistakes because these kids can't have a one up on us. We have to get up and be smarter ten times quicker than we will ever be because if we're not advancing against the competition. I'm telling you, these teenagers will drive us crazy. You have to be on top of them and can't be on top of them if you're not preventative. You shouldn't wait until your car shows the check engine light on; if it is, fix it, jump to it, run to it, and fix it. If not, your kids are going to end up well. I'm telling you because there's so much crap out here these days. Your kids are going to end up dead. What will you do to prevent your child from getting to a place where they are to the point of no return?
6. Reconciliation and Understanding
Reconciliation and understanding may not come. You may have somebody you know your kids to be a sneaky kid. If you have this child, who's already involved in sex and already trying to tell you that all they want to do is smoke weed. That child is under the complete influence of the kingdom of health—that dog spirit. Let me tell you something else about the dog spirit because that dog spirit is cast on the child that has been abandoned. If I'm talking to you, my single moms or remarried moms understand that your child is under the influence of this mindset in the kingdom of darkness, the kingdom of hell. They feel abandoned, they feel forgotten. They feel like they don't matter, and all those thoughts eat them alive.
It's either do or die, or you're protecting them. Or you're not protecting them, but boy oh boy, you better get out of the way if you don't defend them, especially from their father, who is unwilling to do the right thing. If this is you, then this is fully applicable to you. Can I tell you something? Reconciliation. That means them coming and being reconciled, being their story, reflecting your story or understanding, which will happen immediately. No bull. You're going to let you're going to have to let some things happen because if you cannot get a hold of this child and physically spank them yourself anymore. If they're running away from you, when you try to take up their phone, and they're going in, they're leaving the house and all this, that it is time for you to let go and let God because even the Bible says that when you don't follow instructions, God will leave you to your own devices.
Bye, Felicia! Got to go! I am not responsible for what gets ready to happen to you. You want to go to the hospital. Good. You want to go, and this isn't running away in an attempt to have control of their own lives. Right? Because they want to avoid following the rules at home. But they don't realize that the home rules are only the beginning of the rest of their life. If you have this type of child, you will have to get out of the way for them to understand that you aren't planning and have to show them, but you can't show them until you get out of the way. Get out of the way, Mom. Is that you? Are you indulging in bad behavior? Do you keep letting them run all over you? Are you worshipping the devil?
Because the Bible says that I have this against you. Because you have tolerated that, Jezebel, I will send you into a world of tribulation. I'll put your children in a sick bed. You want to keep tolerating a lie. You want to keep tolerating the Jezebel. You want to keep tolerating everything evil. You want to keep tolerating them, not following your instructions. What does the Bible say? What did the Bible tell you to do? You all listen, I'm getting too high. I'm getting too high because I'm telling you. I don't want you all going through what I'm going through and what I've had to go through with my teen. She needs a reasonable knocking upside the head. I'm telling you.
Conclusion
What are you going to do? You'll show up and show out because this teen needs you, and it's dependent on you. If you decide to go after your child, love their fears furiously, and ensure that everything you do is for their safety and well-being, you're on the right track. Again, I'll tell you something.
Expect the thank you sometime soon. The thing about wealth is that when you're building wealth in your children, you have to delay gratification. You have to know that you are planting seeds into their soil, and if you don't grow these tough lessons, you want to ask up listen when she ran away with my phone. I was fully prepared to press charges blue. I'm not even playing. She needed to hear. You ran away with my iPhone, Grand Theft. That's a phone that's worth over $1,000. You have to get it because if I don't spank you with a bell, I will spank you with a consequence. Understand that I'm coming for you because it's not your child you're at war with is the forces of evil. You are battling the enemy for your child.
Who's going to get it? Somebody has to; somebody has to pay. I learned my lesson, and she had to get it. Guess who had to go to the hospital? Guess who had to go to the hospital. She did. She wasn't coming out anytime soon. You're not allowed to manipulate me with people hurting you. You know I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you because I know that the only thing that I have to do is keep you safe from yourself. After all, you have become a menace to society. I have to protect society. I have to defend my household, and I have to make sure that you sit out so that you can heal. Yes, we went through a domestic violence situation. Yes, we were married and together with your father, who was doing all types of stuff. But now it's time to heal. I declare this moment in our lives. Time to heal. I declare this moment in your lifetime to heal. It's not time to play around with these kids anymore because if you don't go after them with the fierce love of God, that is discipline. Love looks like many different things. Its patient is kind. It's long-suffering. But love, discipline, and love will leave you to your own devices if you need help getting it right. That's all the time I have, guys.
‘Till next time, over and out.
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