My Story - Tales of Valor and Military Life with Jeremiah Tomko (Part 2) | Episode 136

My Story - Tales of Valor and Military Life with Jeremiah Tomko (Part 2) | Episode 136

What happens when a US Navy veteran faces the tumultuous journey from military service to civilian life? Join us as we sit down with Jeremiah Tomko, who courageously opens up about his struggle with mental health and substance abuse during this critical transition. Jeremiah shares the raw and real challenges he faced, from finding housing and employment to battling the invisible wounds of service. His heartfelt story paints a vivid picture of the broader issues veterans encounter and offers valuable insights for anyone navigating similar paths.

Jeremiah’s journey is not just about overcoming obstacles; it’s a testament to the power of positive influences, mentors, and the strength to ask for help. We delve into the emotional ties to military service and the importance of pursuing passion amidst adversity. Networking and setting ambitious goals emerge as key elements for personal and organizational growth. Jeremiah’s candid discussion sheds light on the significance of active recovery, balance, and having a supportive team. This episode is a powerful reminder that with the right support systems, anyone can navigate life’s toughest challenges.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I am your host, justin Allen Hayes, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices. Voices for Voices is the number one ranked podcast and TV show where people turn to for expert mental health recovery and career advancement intelligence. Mental health recovery and career advancement intelligence. Our show is all about teaching you insanely actionable techniques that help you prosper, grow your self-worth and personal brand. So if you are a high achiever or someone who wants more out of life, whether mentally, physically or spiritually, make sure to subscribe to our TV show and podcast right now. As you can see, our show publishes episodes every week that focus on case studies, real life examples, actionable tips and in-the-trenches reports and interviews from subscribers just like you. If that sounds like something that could help you grow personally or professionally, then make sure to join me by subscribing and also share with a friend or two and your family. We'd love to have you aboard.

Speaker 1: 1:27

This episode is part two from the episode we had last week with in-studio guest Voices for Voices board member Jeremiah Tomko, also a US military veteran from the US Navy, and we invite you to check that episode out, if you haven't already, because it is very inspiring to hear an active and now US military veteran talking about their time in the service, a US military veteran talking about their time in the service, and it really made me feel proud to be a US citizen here to have individuals like Jeremiah that really put their lives on the line for not just me or you, but for everybody in the country.

Speaker 1: 2:27

So Jeremiah is with us again in studio, but this episode, what we're going to do is we're going to shift from a transition period, from when Jeremiah left the military honorably and entered civilian life, into where he's at today and how. Mental health, substance abuse, many topics that us at Voices for Voices are trying to bring light to trying to knock out the stigma around help others, around help others. And I guess first we'll jump into a certificate that Jeremiah received when he was in the military, and it is a prevent certificate and it reads quote this is to certify that CS3 Tomkoko, jeremiah J, has completed the course of instruction or earning the certificate to transitioning into civilian life and how that led him to where he is now of leading a life of serving others in the community with our organization as a Voices for Voices board member and just as a human being. So, jeremiah, thank you for joining us again.

Speaker 2: 4:19

Thanks, justin, I appreciate you having me back here.

Speaker 1: 4:23

Yeah, so again, thank you for your service.

Speaker 1: 4:27

Yes, sir, we really appreciate that and all that you've done and you continue to do, and the shed light.

Speaker 1: 4:35

I understand that you work a little bit with the VA, even to this day, and that's important for a number of reasons. So, as we talk about substance abuse, reentry, individuals that have been incarcerated or are incarcerated and are set to be released at a certain point, there are a lot of things that an individual at that life stage needs, just as a human being, which sometimes, you know us, we take for granted. You know, sometimes, in most cases, I dare to say, an individual is released from the Department of Corrections and it's like, okay, you're released, and there's not, usually maybe a plan to go with on the okay, where are they going to live, how are they going to feed themselves, how are they going to work, how are they going to even look for a job, how are they going to find a mentor and all those things? Can you touch on just that transition as you were exiting the military, how mental health kind of maybe impacted that area of your life and others, and how that led you to start the journey to get to where we're at today?

Speaker 2: 6:15

Excellent questions. Regarding this certificate, it's a program that is required, to my knowledge. When I was in, you had to go through this I don't remember the exact name of the program, but this was a certificate that you needed to leave and I think I had dinner early because I didn't get out until 2006. Okay, because I didn't get out until 2006. Okay, and I think I got out. Let's see, august was about my out date specifically, so I think I might have got out around June because I had some time saved, so you could either have, you know, got out early or whatever the plan you wanted was. So I did get out and 2006.

Speaker 1: 7:13

And completed my four years audible discharge as well. So how did mental health, substance abuse, reentry, how did those topics and terms kind of take hold in your life? You know, to complete this program in the military but then, when you're finished with your active service, to transition back into civilian life.

Speaker 2: 7:45

I mean, yeah, I was 20 to 24 when I was in the military and you know we were busy a lot.

Speaker 2: 7:54

I mean, when I was on that ship, uss Patina, we were constantly in and out between missions. At one point the ship needed to be fixed, so we were kind of on the standstill and standby. In that perspective, all I can say is for those folks out there who want to join the military, definitely stay grounded with good people. Unfortunately, I had associated with some individuals, whether it be they were in the Navy or civilian, and looking back I was like, well, I probably should have hung around or spent time with more positive, influenced individuals. That's why I emphasize to find a mentor or just good people to associate with, Because I did get involved in some things you know, not like illegal, you know per se, because the military drug test. But I did get involved in some and some things, looking back, that you know I should not have done that because who knows health-wise how that may or may have not affected my health this day either, physically, physiologically, mental health related, even spiritually as well. So that's important to think about those things.

Speaker 1: 9:25

It really is, because, as Human beings, we wake up each day, hopefully, and we have decisions to make everything from should I brush my teeth? Should I wash my face? Should I take a shower? What should I wear to, whether that's looking for a job or being employed, going to work what to eat, where to get the food? We have lots of decisions to make every day and that can get overwhelming, especially for individuals that are looking at being released from incarceration. And I think, with our time, just as human beings, spent on Earth, we can either be against people that have put in their time for whatever they've done, because I think it's fair to say, we all have some type of skeleton in the closet, if not many.

Speaker 1: 10:32

I have many, if not many, I have many. So I'm not speaking from the point of preaching that I'm any better, because I'm not. I have plenty of things. And so to have individuals who have made decisions at a certain point and now they've put their time in and it's time for that release to get to those next steps, how did that type of work work? How did that interest you and I know you? You had, along along the way, before current state, uh, you know different. You know milestones. Uh, along the way where you start something and not work out and I I've been in that that spot. Can you talk about just, I guess, the mental health side and the substance abuse, as well as your, your career, of your? You mentioned kind of your motto when we were off camera, talking about you know, each year, you know if, as each year comes to a close, where am I at having that military mentality and how? That has, you know, kind of led so kind of on parallel paths the mental health and then the career, if you're able to.

Speaker 2: 11:46

Yeah, absolutely, I can elaborate on that. Yeah, getting out of the military kind of rocky that would be another episode, but I did end up at the Sheraton Suites Hotel, which was a good experience, helping to define my culinary background. Unfortunately, I did not stay there longer than approximately a year, Just kind of one of those things in the military, you know, if you don't rank up, you know, in the civilian't rank up, you know in the civilian platform, let's keep it moving. So you know, from the culinary field I ended up working at a factory, you know, and that seemed to be pretty well progressive-wise, you know, just to do something different and try to earn some more income. And then found myself kind of cycling through jobs at one point and went back to school and studied auto mechanics at one point, just to change things up and maybe try to find something different, career path wise, because I do like automotive technology, it's very fascinating and I guess that just wasn't for me. So eventually I got a job at a call center, a very good call center, actually and I did a year there, you know, it seemed pretty good and then it just wasn't enough, something rather and I'm not a numbers person, so I would tell anybody in the call center career to have your numbers well, and then went back into kind of like factory work and I will say for folks out there looking for a job, be careful of factory work because there are people you know with substance issues and things of that matter. So if you've got issues, reentry or in general, just be careful.

Speaker 2: 14:02

And then from there I've always been involved in the community, volunteering my time. Besides the military. We did humanitarian efforts in 2005 with Operation Katrina between Louisiana and Mississippi. Actually, we were actually the first ship after the storm passed to be there as a supply ship. And then, you know, landing troops and we were in joint efforts with the National Guard helicopter operations, land operations. It was a huge effort. So I got out and ended up working with the Salvation Army, you know, helping them with the culinary aspect and that was an honor actually to help them out. And I've also volunteered at a local food pantry as well. Like I said, it's important to give back to our community.

Speaker 2: 15:19

And yeah, and over the years, you know, between helping the community and just kind of discovering you know where I need to be, where do I fit in the community, Ended up back at another factory and at one point you know it was third shift, I believe when I stopped working there, I'm just like, well, I need to do something else. Like my gifts, my heart is into, I believe, working with people. That is very important to me. So anybody out there you know, definitely find out what you do best and, just you know, aim high for those goals. Um so, yeah, um yeah, right now I work at a place doing case management and, um, it's, it's a lot of uh, a lot of need out there, uh, for re-entry or or non-re-entry. I mean people in general.

Speaker 1: 16:16

People in general.

Speaker 2: 16:17

Just needing referrals to, like you said, mental health. You know I do work with the VA regarding, you know, medical, so I do appreciate the VA, what they've done for me physical and mental and there's nothing wrong with getting counseling.

Speaker 1: 16:43

No, yeah, I agree that with the counseling I whether you think you need it, you want it, don't want it is something for me that's been really a lifesaver in a sense, kind of being that person, that individual that you can talk to, that will just sit there and listen and they'll ask questions If topics come up and are alarming or dangerous, but have somebody just listen. I think it's huge. And one thing that I think individuals may think about you know, stigma wise around around counseling is, well, I don't know what I'm gonna say when I get there, and I think that's something that I had to get over, and I know people that are close to me that are you know. I think that's something possibly in that situation of, well, what am I going to say? What are they going to tell me? Are they going to put me on medication and have all these what-ifs?

Speaker 1: 18:04

And there's tons of research that says the things that we say what-if to I think it's 80%, 90% of those never even happen. And so we spend so much time thinking about what-if that if we could just kind of like I've had to do and continue to do is just get over myself, get over my ego and just step forward and say, look, I can't do it on my own and I know for you along the way faith has been a big part of your life and serving and giving back to the community. Can you talk about how that's really helped as well? Kind of a little bit like a little bit like going to get to get counseling, but in that respect, can you maybe touch on that from your experience?

Speaker 2: 19:00

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You know I grew up in the church. That's definitely helped, like the spiritual aspect. You know it's having that comfort. I haven't lowered my life, I haven't lived a perfect life, of course, you know, but that's definitely helped me over the years with any pillar or barriers that I've had, you know.

Speaker 1: 19:47

Yeah, and so to just talk a minute on kind of emotions of you know, talk about the military and being happy to be able to serve with the work that you do now and, as you're again continuing to find things that not only benefit the community but benefit you as well, how that makes you feel and how an individual or individuals watching and listening may have something that they really are passionate about. And they're doing something completely the opposite. Maybe start changing maybe some of the ways to get into that spot, because things we like to do, that we want to do, are things we're going to do good and the best at, and we'll probably stick around a little bit longer at those types of employment opportunities versus ones that we might not.

Speaker 2: 20:36

Yeah, I'd say the first step is you know if there's a need, you know if someone needs help. You know I'd say that'd be the most challenging for anybody, even myself. The skill of help, yeah, asking for help, like if a person even acknowledges that they need help, as opposed to do they need help, you know, and if they do need help, do they want or not? Because you know, I've talked to other individuals in the community and you know there's just so much help out there, like they just need to reach, you know, that avenue. So, whether it be you, me, forces for Voices, the VA, I could throw a lot of referral sources out there. They're just waiting for the individual, like when are they?

Speaker 2: 21:29

ready. You know, like there's a point in my life you know I just hey, I need help with this. You know, like that pride gets in the way. You know, in some people's life, you know, once they get past that pride barrier, you know, like I said, if need be, they need this specific help. Like you're a financial expert so you could tell someone a lot about finances. You know and have a background in culinary. You know, maybe someone doesn't know how to cook or maybe someone doesn't have a budget.

Speaker 1: 22:15

You know, it's just amazing how we're all put together in this web and network. Networking is important and I think that is so big. Is that networking? And I think one of the areas to think about for our organization is, you know, looking forward, is to continue networking. But continue to network kind of in the right spot.

Speaker 1: 22:34

It's like where you know we meet somebody, we come in contact, but does that fit? You know kind of what we want to do as an organization and you can think of it as a term of paying it forward, but then we can also think of paying it too much forward. Where we do too much, maybe in certain areas and go oh, wait a minute, we need to get back to, like you mentioned, and precepts. So, getting back to being grounded and that foundation of where, where we're at, it's okay to stray a little bit, but whether it's an organization or a person, you stray too much. You know, maybe that's in substances, maybe that's alcohol, maybe that's alcohol, maybe it's domestic violence, maybe it's something that is unhealthy and illegal. Sure, how do we kind of right the ship a little bit? And I know we've had a guest on our show as well as what she was, our Voices for Voices, ambassador of the year for 2023, judge Allison Breaux with the Hope Corps. If somebody's going through that Department of Corrections and through that way with her, she's made a huge difference in the community and I think that you don't have to be like, well, I'm not a leader or I don't have the finances or I don't have these things. Well, just find out what you have and start there. And I don't have a military background, you do. Some of those experiences have been and were like and how that structure has continued to follow as you're going through life, and not only for you but for the people that you impact, that you help.

Speaker 1: 24:32

And someone might say, well, that's a little bit too much. Well, it's always that thought of, well, if we don't make a goal, we're not going to move forward. So we could have. You know we had big, big goals as our followers, our listeners or donors. You know that we want to help. You know, 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond Humongous goal.

Speaker 1: 24:54

And and I think that if we didn't make that goal, then maybe some of the strides we've made and are coming down the pike wouldn't have come about, because we may have been maybe too near sighted on, like, okay, we're going to get to, and again, we know nobody's perfect. Anybody that claims it is not correct. Nobody's perfect. We can try to be. I think the biggest thing is we can try to just be in balance and just be in touch with what our body and our mind needs. I think that's the closest any of us are going to get to being perfect.

Speaker 1: 25:38

It's like, okay, I need this, okay, I have an appointment in four weeks, but I really need to talk to somebody this week because somebody in my family passed away or some event impacted them.

Speaker 1: 25:51

I think that's the biggest thing and even for me, being in active recovery, that I've had to do, where there's an event that happens, I've had to call and reschedule and move up an appointment, and that in itself is hard to do because it's like sometimes in this dark spot and the depression and don't want to do that and say I don't want to pick up the phone and then call and those things are very minor, but when somebody has certain diseases, illnesses, it's hard to do. It's hard to say, well, I'm going to get up, I'm going to brush my teeth, I'm going to get a shower, those things, for just whatever reason, are tougher. So it's just how do you manage it as best as you can, and who's on your team that it's not just us, that we have people we can reach out to for, uh, for, for advice, and that that's that's huge, absolutely so. We have about a minute left this episode. I think it went faster than last week's episode.

Speaker 1: 26:55

Uh, right, so again thank you for your service to the country. Thank you for what you're doing for us at Voices, for Voices, but in a bigger spotlight for the community. For others, we couldn't be where we're at today and where we're going, and some of the individuals that we're crossing paths with and going to be able to share their stories in a couple different areas we haven't touched as much as we should, but we're going to do that and none of that could have been done with without you. So appreciate everybody, you know, thank you, appreciate you, I appreciate you so much.

Speaker 1: 27:37

Yes, sir, is there anything else? You've got about 30 seconds One day at a time.

Speaker 2: 27:46

Like I said, keep positive, keep focused. I appreciate all our military vets and military out there right now. I think about them and it's important to do so. Pray prayers out to them.

Speaker 1: 28:01

Absolutely, and we want to thank you, our listeners, our viewers. Checking out our transcript Again, we have over 130 episodes. Check us out, we have something for everybody. And again we want to thank Jeremiah for joining us this episode and a previous episode. And until next time I am just now Alan Hayes, founder executive director of Voices for Voices and until next time, be a voice for you or somebody in need. Thank you.