Voices for Voices®

My Story - Faith, Recovery, and Redemption with Don Matis, Jr. (Part 2) | Episode 141

• Founder of Voices for Voices®, Justin Alan Hayes • Season 3 • Episode 141

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My Story - Faith, Recovery, and Redemption with Don Matis, Jr. (Part 2) | Episode 141

Chapter Markers
0:01 Building Personal Brand and Staying Authentic
9:10 Healing Through Listening and Acceptance
12:51 Seeking Recovery and Spreading Blessings
17:43 Finding Faith and Sharing Recovery

What if the path to an authentic personal brand starts with embracing your vulnerabilities? Join us for an inspiring conversation with Don Matis Jr., who shares his incredible 38-year journey of sobriety and the silent suffering that often accompanies active recovery. Don opens up about the power of turning to faith and spiritual guidance, the importance of humility, and learning to accept constructive criticism. Discover how staying true to oneself, despite societal pressures, can lead to genuine personal and professional growth.

Ever felt like an imposter in your own life? We talk about the unexpected anxiety that can strike when speaking to large groups, even with a supportive network. From imposter syndrome to self-acceptance, we highlight the healing power of authentic human interaction. I share my unique experience with a bar ministry, where listening became an extraordinary act of love and healing, despite initial pushback from my church. Listening, in its truest form, can be as transformative for the listener as it is for the speaker.

The journey from addiction to recovery is fraught with challenges and blessings. We reflect on the destructive cycle of addiction and the emotional stagnation it causes. Don introduces us to the Miraculous Medal, a spiritual tool believed to bring hope and miracles, and shares its profound impact on thousands of lives. We discuss the importance of humility, intercessory prayer, and the role of the Blessed Mother in personal growth. Embracing faith, self-love, and intentionality, we offer insights on how to live a fulfilling and mindful life, free from addiction's grip.

Our Voices for Voices® TV show and podcast is all about teaching you insanely actionable techniques to help you prosper, grow your self worth and personal brand.

So, if you are a high achiever or someone who wants more out of life, whether mentally, physically or spiritually, make sure you subscribe to our podcast right now!

As you can see, the Voices for Voices® show publishes episodes that focus on case studies, real life examples, actionable tips and "in the trenches" reports and interviews from subscribers like you.

If that sounds like something that could help you grow personally or professionally, then make sure to join me by subscribing!
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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I am your host, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, justin Allen Hayes. Thank you for joining us. Voices for Voices is the number one ranked TV show and podcast where people turn to for expert mental health recovery and career advancement intelligence. Our show is all about teaching you insanely actionable techniques to help you prosper, grow yourself and self-worth and personal brand. So if you are a high achiever or someone who wants more out of life, whether mentally, or someone who wants more out of life, whether mentally, physically or spiritually, make sure you subscribe to our TV show and podcast on your favorite platform right now. As you can see, the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast publishes fresh episodes each week that focus on case studies, real-life examples, actionable tips and in-the-trenches reports and interviews from subscribers just like you. If that sounds like something that could help you grow personally or professionally, then again make sure to join me by subscribing. And again, make sure to join me by subscribing.

Speaker 1:

This episode is a follow-up from last week's episode with our in-studio guest, don Mattis Jr, so we are going to pick up where we left off and continue the conversation. So, don, thanks for hanging with us for another episode my pleasure. Thanks for hanging with us for another episode my pleasure. Thank you for being so transparent about your 38 plus years of sobriety Kind of a lot of the pain and suffering that you went through prior to those 38 years and then even some of the silent suffering that we go through, even as being an act of recovery. So we finished off our last episode getting into the branding of Stoned On Happiness Jester for Jesus, and maybe we could start out with some of our viewers, our listeners, who may be looking to brand themselves in whatever way that may be, can you maybe give a, maybe like a short lesson of why that's important to stand out from the crowd literally.

Speaker 2:

In my view, we're all called to be leaders Dad, mom, aunts, uncles. So, instead of being a follower, I always go to prayer to Jesus, the Blessed Mother, my rosary, and ask God and have a spiritual director. Have someone come and pray for someone to come in your life that will help you see your true talents. A lot of people are raised not knowing ever their true talents and they're not nurtured. So you need to pray to ask someone that God will send. He will send in the most unexpected way and they'll point out your talents that you need to nurture. You might be a good teacher, you might be good at sports, whatever it may be your hobby, but it's important to get the true message out of life. Life is suffering. Realize we're carrying a cross. Realize we're here. We're all family. Honestly, everybody's a family, family. I had more strangers in my life. Be my real family to encourage me. Isn't that the truth? Oh, it's the truth. Like when I first came back to the church, I thought they were going to help me out. Well, they did not, and I'm okay. I had a presumption theory that, wow, they're going to be supportive of my journey in sobriety. Not really, it flipped me out because my expectations were overboard because I was coming out of such a fog.

Speaker 2:

But branding yourself really means to me be who you are. Be not afraid if someone says don't wear that haircut. Be not afraid, don't wear those clothes. Just be you. When you're really you, you people could see it. You're authentic and they'll listen to you more, even though they might people think I'm crazy. I am crazy. Look what I've been through. How can you not be crazy? You know all those people in the bar drinking, getting high and shooting dope. They know they're crazy. They're just asking for help. So brand yourself, be who you and ask God for your talents and have people show it to you. And you must humble yourself to accept it. Constructive criticism is healthy. I hated it at the beginning, but then I had a look in that ugly mirror and I said these people are right. They're just trying to help me. Even to this day. Sometimes, justin, people give me compliments. I kind of like reflect them off. I'm like Superman bolts bounce. But I've been learning to be humble enough to accept that they're genuine. So does that answer something?

Speaker 1:

It does. And I think that's important is the humbleness part, because when there is a little bit of success or notoriety and somebody recognizes us and we want to be like, oh yeah, like we're like this you know celebrity and you know everybody loves us and even the most liked celebrity entertainer, there's still people who don't like them. So we have to say, okay, well, even if people like us for what we do, there's going to be people that, for whatever reason, they don't like and they might not like us at all. They might like certain things and not others, and I think that's part again of the healing.

Speaker 1:

Just in general, as a human being, nobody's perfect and I think that's one thing. Society, almost, you know we talk about social media on different platforms and we see these, you know these photos like people living, you know their best life and like, oh my gosh, they're always on vacation on the beach and they're so perfect. Oh my gosh, they're always on vacation on the beach and they're so perfect. And we have that in our mind because parts of society have put that up on a pedestal. And then individuals, when they're going through their education and growing up, if that's what they're around, just like if you and I or anybody is growing up and we're around certain activities, we're more likely to pick up those activities than if we weren't around those.

Speaker 2:

Well, corporate ink. We're branded to be a certain way to be happy materialism, modernism, all that. If you have the attitude for the beatitudes and the gratitude, your life will change. Because just think, sit down and think. One day you have a bed, you have food, you have water. You need to start, as I do be grateful for what I have now, because this all could be gone. Today I've been there homeless. I know it could be stripped from you. God could allow it for whatever purpose, but appreciate yourself first. Learn to love yourself. That was the hardest thing to do for me.

Speaker 1:

It still is, because I'll never be perfect, but I'm still learning how to love don, so then I could go out and love my neighbor yeah, and then just like adding on to that, you know the glass is half full or half empty, how how we we look at it that we need to fill our cup per se, as an analogy before we can help others, and if we're wanting to pay it forward so much and so fast, and that we're not taking a look in the mirror a little bit to say, you know what, maybe this will happen, but I need to take care of today. So we have to do just as much kind of short-term planning as we do long-term, and that's something that I fall into, like when different opportunities come, like, oh yeah, this is great, this is gonna, and this is in six months, or this is in four months or in a month, or what have you. And sometimes I whether it's my fault or not, it is my fault that sometimes I'm not looking at things as, as you mentioned, as can be taken away today, like, well, I might not make it that six months to get to that point, to have that experience, or to do this talk or this show, or what have you, this show or what have you. And I think that's that's key, that we don't want to lose sight of where we're at today and that you know whether we are, you know, that person that is up talking in front of people or whether we're we're in the audience of being a participant, and that's something I've had to work, work hard towards that.

Speaker 1:

If I'm in front of a lot of people and talking, it's not that big of a deal for me, but I can be in a situation and give my daughter is going to be starting kindergarten, and so they had like a little orientation and there was maybe I don't know 50 or 60 people there, parents as well as the teachers and the principal, and I was getting all kinds of anxiety and I was like, well, I got the medication, I have the therapy, I got my team.

Speaker 1:

What's the deal? And finding out that it's imposter syndrome and just being okay with it, like we hear terms and we're hearing labels that just have to accept, and that's the hardest thing to do is just to accept who we are. So to your point about the branding, it makes complete sense that we're going to feel the most ourselves and authentic and authentic, as others are going to see us as more authentic than you know just reading off a I mean I do read off a teleprompter at the beginning of the shows Right, but if that was all the show was, then it would just be me reading and monotone for 30 minutes.

Speaker 1:

and by us just having conversations as as human beings, it's as healing for me as it as it is for you.

Speaker 1:

so that's why I recommend people when they uh say I don't want to go to therapy, I don't need to talk to somebody uh, literally, if you go and talk to a therapist, if that's what you want to do and you're in that spot, not everybody is there, but if you are there it's okay and I you'll feel a little bit less stress. Because to your dump truck, yeah, an analogy, right, those therapists that's what they're trained to do is kind of to accept the dump trucks, yeah, each person is a right truck coming in and I think that's crucial.

Speaker 1:

Can you talk a little bit about your? You had a little bit of a bar ministry that you used to do and whether you do, and how that impact and that feedback that you would get.

Speaker 2:

You know what it's interesting? The Catholic church that I was going to wasn't really supportive. In a sense it was very disappointing. So God works in mysterious ways. Can you imagine going to a bar and you're stone cold, sober and you're going there just to listen to people? So those people became my friends in a strange way and they supported my ministry that I was doing. They go keep coming back or just to listen to people. So those people became my friends in a strange way and they supported my ministry that I was doing. They'd go keep coming back. Like they say in the program, it works.

Speaker 2:

So I'd go, I'd start out once a week, Then I'd start doing three days a week and I did it for 30 years and I'd just sit there. I used to smoke cigars and I'd just listen to people. And listening brings great healing to people. I remember on my early journey this woman listened to me about when I was molested when I was young, and it brought me healing because she was listening. I don't know if you ever been around people that really listen. I know you listen and that man there listens, but to really listen it's extraordinary because it's a way of being loved. So the bar ministry was a total reminder. It was like going to a funeral with grief, because I grieve for the people, but I said I don't ever want to go back in that world.

Speaker 1:

Even though you have the smells of the alcohol, the hearing, the pours and drinks Everything Glass.

Speaker 2:

Everything and you just realized how blessed you are Because you're on the side of recovery. You know what it is to drink and get high and get wasted blackouts. Don't know who you are. What did I do last night? And you go, I did that and you don't even care. And you see these poor young kids just lost, just chasing drugs and alcohol. It's like I learned in recovery. It's like chasing. It's always chasing your first high. Whatever age you start drinking emotionally. That's where you're at.

Speaker 2:

So I started drinking at 11, so I was probably an 11-year-old kid for all those years, until I came out and got recovered and I had to pay attention. I had to humble myself, I had to listen to people that have been around the board, and that's the key to it too. But that bar ministry really helped me on my journey for 30 years. I mean, people probably didn't like would understand what I was trying to do. I was just assigned to his people. That's what Jesus asked me to be. I just go wherever God wants me to be and I try to give support where I can, but I'm not going to be codependent. That's a big thing that a lot of people get. Can I tell you a quick story. Yeah, please. There's this man. His son's a heroin addict. He brought his girlfriend in and she's a heroin addict. He brought his girlfriend in and she's a heroin addict and he was supporting them. So you come as sick as the addict, even though you're not participating in doing the heroin or drugs. You're killing the people and thank God no one was codependent on me, because I don't put up with it. I mean, I had a lot. Remember this the people.

Speaker 2:

When you're sober for a period of time, the devil will come to you and he uses all different phrases and shapes and sizes and circumstances that God allows and he always says to me, just about every day you could drink one drink. Now You're 38. You're sober? Yeah, I go. Yeah, I'll be 10 times crazier than I was and you might as well come and put me in a joint because I was crazy. You know how crazy you get when you're high.

Speaker 2:

That, hey, what do they call it in the mind? That, hey, crazy-making behavior, because the disease is always talking to you going. You could drink Well, it's only a little drink, you know what I'm saying, but it's dangerous. Very so I thank God for the bar ministry. I really will always be grateful to those people and I pray for anybody who's doing alcohol and drugs or sex, whatever it may be. I hope you get out of that miserable world because it's a living nightmare and I still suffer from the memories we do Because you can't believe what happened, how, the craziest things I've done, like Flying on a commercial jet. I would never do that now. I'd be embarrassed, I'd be shameful Because I almost didn't have a conscious Think about it.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about bringing the miraculous medal, what it is, how your giving side now have been able to hand deliver person to person, over 20,000.

Speaker 2:

So the Miraculous Medal. It has a story inside. I'm going to read it. Can I read a little?

Speaker 1:

bit of it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, read it. When Mary gave the design of the medal to St Catherine, she said in quotes now it must be given to the whole world and to every person. The association carries out this mission for Our Lady through the members. Members of the association bring Our Lady to people in need spiritually and share their devotion To become okay. Then it goes on to tell you about the medal. But this was given in a vision to St Catherine.

Speaker 2:

So this medal, they used to call it the miracle medal. I think it was. Now it's the miraculous medal because so many miracles have happened. So God put it on my heart through the Blessed Mother to Jesus, I give out these medals. They are blessed by a priest and I had people in my bar ministry come back from war and tell me that this medal they used to call it a charm because I just told them what it was, because I never really preached at the bar. I just here you go, this is a medal, a miraculous medal, and it's blessed, and they'd come actually back to the bar and tell me how upsetting their life.

Speaker 2:

Many times different people had different stories. But God has given me a gift to give out this medal to people Because basically, my job is to be a sign to people, and it's up to you to believe in the Blessed Mother or Jesus, whatever. But I'll tell you what this medal will change your life. The Blessed Mother will move into your life and protect you and your family, because intercessory prayer is what it's about too, because we intercess for you. So there's a whole story about it, but I hope you can check it out on the Internet. Just read about the Miraculous Medal.

Speaker 1:

But it's a great gift to have a sacramental and I think that is a good way to bring in that some people, oh, go ahead.

Speaker 2:

That's a good way. It's a door opener. Yes, because some people don't understand the Blessed Mother. But remember Jesus is a king when he honor his mother, the Queen of Heaven. Just think about heaven is a family, it's not just one person sitting there. Yeah, yeah, right. So the Blessed Mother, through my experience, through 38 of sobriety in the rosary, brought me to who Jesus. Look, yeah, right, I love Jesus.

Speaker 1:

Oh, so there you go. No, that was exactly where I wanted to go is to be open to sharing your success and how things have positively impacted you. While we may hope, wish, want everybody to do some of the things that we've we've done, there might be different paths, yeah, and, and so some of the things we're talking about might come in a vision, in a different way to a person, and I think the key is to just be open to whatever way that comes, or other ways that we support, and we just want people, in the end, to be happy, to live to your point, be the best that you can be, to accept who we are, and then that's going to lead ultimately, to that personal branding of oh, I've seen that person on this show and and so I know that I can go up and talk to them or they're going to

Speaker 1:

come talk, talk to me, and I think that's that's big and just as you mentioned that icebreaker, yeah, with your brand first, and then the metal kind of you know, yeah, second, that you have your tools to be able to have those icebreakers where people are like, oh okay, what's this guy all about? He's coming in here dressed like this, and then you start having real conversation and then it leads to a point where people like you said they're accepting yes and who knows where.

Speaker 2:

We don't know.

Speaker 1:

We don't know how many people we touch Right, whether it's here in Northeast Ohio, summit County, hudson, stowe, akron or, as some of your videos have gone viral overseas. So you know you're reaching and touching people in various cultures and that's got to be a good feeling to have to know that. Oh, little old me's doing this and I'm reaching people and you're sleeping and somebody could be watching. It's just crazy to think about that.

Speaker 2:

It's crazy. So let me say something jesus loves you all and you're all very precious, believe it or not. If you don't believe anything about anything, ask jesus for the truth. He will deliver like I said before, not in that minute, but he will, and know what. God works strange ways through people. You never know who you're talking to, you never know what cross they carry, and always try to be respectful to them and learn to love yourself so you can love them where they are on their journey.

Speaker 2:

I just got to tell you something quick. Everybody I meet, I look at them with a hospital going on, because then I have mercy and compassion. And the second thing on top of their head there's a Christmas present, because everybody has a gift for you. But pay attention, because you never know. Never know what it is and isn't working for Jesus. An adventure, it's the greatest adventure. It's free. I don't have to pay him, I don't have to sign up for confession. I show up. How good is God in his mercy? And I remember when I was an addict, my pride was as big as this house, as big as this studio.

Speaker 1:

Easily, all I cared about is Don Alcohol, drugs, all that garbage that comes with it and you think you're living life, but no, you're not living and we we had a discussion off camera about, uh, how packed, you know, the the liquor stores get on, like saturdays and and people are getting their groceries and then they're putting their carts out and they're going in and coming out with, you know, and while some people, a lot of people, are able to handle those types of things, we're just, we're speaking from our experience like in drink line or have a drink and not have to worry about having multiple and day after day and to make it a habit.

Speaker 1:

And I think that's just something we want to tell our viewers and listeners that we're not trying to tell everybody like, oh, if you drink a drip of alcohol, you're a bad person. We're just talking about our experiences and hopefully showing that they're intentional about whatever way they go, if they're on recovery or if they are drinking out of it, that they are being intentional about it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, drinking, as everybody knows. I'll tell you what. Here's a challenge. If you're not sober and you want to be sober, have someone straight, take you to a bar and just watch how people change and you see the misery and you suffer with them because you know there's a better road. I can't fix people. I cannot change people. All I could do, like Justin says, is to tell the story and hopefully you can learn from it today. And hopefully you can learn from it today and hopefully you can learn to love yourself and be happy.

Speaker 2:

Do something nice for yourself. That used to be hard for me. Now I do things nice for me. Now I'm not selfish, but that's human dignity and manners to yourself. I think we all need to practice more manners. I've been trying my best to be more cordial, more loving, because when you're an alcoholic drug addict, you like to get inside yourself. You just stay there. Stay there. And selfishness it's like being a stick in the mud. Whatever you want to say, whatever analogy, right, yeah, yeah, it's better to be out in public. I love people, man, just love them.

Speaker 1:

So we're at the end of our second episode. How can people learn more about you?

Speaker 2:

your ministry follow you Go to StoneOnHappinesscom and I'm in two magazines, one in Europe and one in Cleveland Magazine. I was one of the most 30 interesting most people. But I'm who I am. I have a special gift. I've always been who I am. You can talk to anybody my old friends, I've just been me. Try to be like Popeye. I am what I am. You know what I mean. Just be yourself.

Speaker 2:

I mean, don't get into the vanity of the world. It's a lie and it will deceive you quickly. That's why I have support of Justin Jeremiah and all this beautiful studio. It helps me keep on my journey. It gets lonely sometimes, I have to admit. When you're all alone, that devil comes with his depression and tells you how bad the world is and your life sucks. And you should be a college graduate or you should be this. You should own a corporation, you should be making a billion. That's such a deception. That's the world. That's a lie. Why can't we just be who we are and help each other? That's what I always say try to help each other. Giving out these medals I don't know it helps somebody today. Yeah, I don't know what it's going to do, but I faith it's going to help you I think so too.

Speaker 1:

yeah, thank you so much, don, for everything you and monica have done in the past, and also we're grateful to be able to get you in the studio and share your ministry and your recovery. It's just remarkable. Thank you, I got to drink it in.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and we want to thank you, our viewers, our listeners, loyal supporters, for joining us on this episode, part two of our conversation with Don Mattis Jr. And so until next time. I am Justin Allen Hayes, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, and join us next week for a new episode. So, until that time, be a voice for you or somebody in need.

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