62. HOW DO WE GET OUR LITTLES TO DO WHAT WE ASK OF THEM?

If you think of your relationship with your child (and every other relationship in your life!) as a co-created Dance - the dance of communication - the exciting news is that if you want things to go a different way you can change your steps and create a new dance!

Listening & Cooperation are interlinked. 

LISTENING:

• Listen quietly and attentively. Give your undivided attention. 

“Mama, I want you to listen with the eyes in front of your head!” 

• Gain attention with a gentle touch before attempting communication. 

Teach your children this technique to get someone’s attention, too!

• The fewer words the better!

“Whenever possible, use a sentence instead of a paragraph, a word instead of a sentence…”   ~ Dr Haim Ginott, Between Parent and Child

• Observe your tone of voice. Our children respond to the emotions first, the words we say seep in later. 
• Say it once! Repeating ourselves is one of our parts of the not-working-so-well dance of communication with our littles. Listen in to see what to do instead! (Clue: it’s all right here ^^) 

COOPERATION:  

• Creating daily routines can encourage your child’s cooperation. Children feel safe when their world is predictable. Some examples of how to create routines and charts to follow. 
• Use a timer! The timer is then “the boss,” not you, the (getting frustrated and nagging) parent!
• An interesting convo about asking our children to say please and thank you. 

How do they get their chores done when the kids are in front of screens?

• Set parameters for screen /device time.
• Chores first!
• Some ideas of how to intervene into screen time with positive outcomes: 

Move in and get involved in their world for a few moments before shifting into finishing screen time. It only takes a few minutes and can buy you time in the long run! 

If they’re resistant, look at the basics - tired, hungry, overstimulated? 

Be realistic about expectations.                                                                    

Sometimes life is SO fast, with so much to do, patience is our friend! 

• Pre-paving, setting the stage for what comes next, can result in much less resistance.
• Engage our children in age and stage-appropriate family-friendly jobs - hanging their own coats and towels up; putting their boots where boots go; helping clean up their spills… 
• Life happens TO our children. Our lives are SO busy. 

Giving our littles some choices in what happens next in their world can help them feel empowered and like a worthy part of the family.