When the unspoken bonds of trust within a family fray, what's left behind? Join me as I recount a deeply personal tale involving my brothers, where the fragile threads of loyalty were tested by secrecy and misunderstandings. We unravel the complexities of familial trust, revealing how easily it can be shaken and the profound consequences that ensue. As I share my journey of navigating these turbulent emotional waters, you'll gain insights into the importance of privacy and the powerful role of direct communication in repairing the delicate tapestry of sibling relationships.
The path to reconciliation is often lined with the dual stones of forgiveness and memory. In this episode, we grapple with the nuanced task of rebuilding sibling bonds after they've been compromised. I reflect on the intricate dance of forgiving without forgetting and the indelible marks left by familial strife. My story serves as both a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope for anyone wrestling with similar issues. Together, we celebrate the power of open dialogue to foster understanding and respect, leaving you with a sense of hope as we journey through the complexities of life as a family.
When the unspoken bonds of trust within a family fray, what's left behind? Join me as I recount a deeply personal tale involving my brothers, where the fragile threads of loyalty were tested by secrecy and misunderstandings. We unravel the complexities of familial trust, revealing how easily it can be shaken and the profound consequences that ensue. As I share my journey of navigating these turbulent emotional waters, you'll gain insights into the importance of privacy and the powerful role of direct communication in repairing the delicate tapestry of sibling relationships.
The path to reconciliation is often lined with the dual stones of forgiveness and memory. In this episode, we grapple with the nuanced task of rebuilding sibling bonds after they've been compromised. I reflect on the intricate dance of forgiving without forgetting and the indelible marks left by familial strife. My story serves as both a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope for anyone wrestling with similar issues. Together, we celebrate the power of open dialogue to foster understanding and respect, leaving you with a sense of hope as we journey through the complexities of life as a family.
Hey everyone, what's up. What's up? What's up Lav here from the Real with Lav podcast and welcome Thank you for joining me here today. How is everything? How's the family doing? How was your family day? It was really cold here, but for the most part it was a lovely weekend.
Speaker 1:
So I just wanted to talk about, you know, the word trust. The word trust is a very important word and it has a lot of important meanings to it. And one thing you know sometimes we as human beings, we think we know the person, especially with family. Right In today's episode, I just want to talk a little bit about trusting your sibling. You know your own family member and what it really truly means. Now, let's say you have sorry, I'm just doing something here to my hair.
Speaker 1:
Now, guys, for those of you out there who have siblings and you know what it could be any family member. It could be a cousin, you know it could be a cousin. It could be an uncle, it could be an aunt, brother, sister, whatever, niece, nephew. But if you and your brother or your sister have a connection, as you know siblings, and you share certain things with that sibling, and something happens with that sibling and your other sibling, and because you didn't take it upon yourself to jump in the argument that they were having, or whatever disagreement that sibling goes and discuss your business and talk about you to his wife or her husband, right To the point where, when certain things was going on, the wife, which is my brother's wife, told me the reason why she decided to go to the other brother and literally told the brother, asked my brother a question. My other brother asked my question about niece. I'm the one who started everything and the reason why she did that is because of what my brother told her about me. So when she said that, mind you, when I heard, when I heard when my other brother called and told me, I called my brother, my other brother, and because now the two brothers are not talking, so I called and I said are you home? He said no, he's on his way. I said okay, when you get home, put your phone on speaker and call your wife in the room. Okay, and he said what happened? I said don't worry, you will know. But this is what I'm asking you to do is just to, when you get home, call me and make sure she's in the room, in your bedroom, somewhere private, and put me on speaker. So he did just that. And I said, okay, so is your wife there? And he says yeah. I said okay, and I said to her did you talk to somebody about me just not so long ago, maybe about a week or two ago? And she took a couple seconds before she answered. And then she says, yeah, okay. I said okay.
Speaker 1:
So my name was mentioned. So what exactly? What is the reason why my name I'm being discussed and I'm not? I don't know about it. And then she started to talk that she didn't mean it that way. She just, you know, wanted to know what was going on between both brothers. And I said okay.
Speaker 1:
So how did my name come up? I mean, we're both women. You're my brother's wife, I'm his sister, right? So how is it that my name came up into this to talk as if I'm the one who's a troublemaker? And she said the only reason why she went to the other brother is because of the stuff that he told her about me.
Speaker 1:
Right away I thought to myself no, I didn't just hear what. I just what I just heard, right? I said this is a brother that we talk often. We talk, we laugh and everything, and if he has a problem with his wife, he would call me and he would talk to me, right, and I would always encourage to work things out Right. When the other brother will tell him to leave the wife, leave her because she's an idiot, she's this and that.
Speaker 1:
And I remember when he called and told me about that conversation of the other brother telling him he was upset, he called me. I remember I just pulled up from work and he called and he was upset and he was telling me how he's telling him to leave his wife because she's an idiot, right. And I said to him I said that's disrespectful and you need to let him know that he's being disrespectful. She is your wife and he needs to respect your space and he needs to respect, you know, your marriage, right. And so when she told me that it's the stuff that he said to her about me, I turned to him on the phone and I said so what exactly are those stuff? And then he was just so like, he was so surprised. I think that she I don't think he was expecting that, right, and I was I was upset, but I thought to myself, okay, you're probably upset because I didn't jump into this big, unpleasant, loud conversation not even argument that you and the other brother was having while we were on the phone together trying to.
Speaker 1:
I was trying to be the middle person in trying to bring peace between both of them and it didn't really work. The other one just went off, lost it and you know it was a whole big mess, right, and so he felt like I didn't take up. For him there's no taking up. You know what I mean. They were close at one point and then one person started to say this about the other person and you come to me and then now you drag me and discussing me and having pillow talk about me to your wife. So that went on and I told him straight and I told her how I felt and I said so, I'm his sister, you're the wife, and if you had a problem with me, why didn't you pick up the phone and call? Why didn't you call me and say you know what love? You know this is what's happening. Do you know what's the reason for whatever? Whatever you didn't, she turns and she says to me I'm not a social person. So I said, oh, you're not a social person.
Speaker 1:
But when I went back home to Jamaica, I was far from where I'm originally from. I'm from the East, okay. I was way, way out Negril, okay, and it takes about four, four to four and a half hours, four hours drive, okay, to get to Negril. It's like from one end of the island to the next, all right. So I said that that time she came with him. So I said you're not a social person, but yet still you came with him all the way four and a half hours to Negril to meet me and my daughter. So, anyways, I didn't even bother, let that get to me because I know she didn't know what else to answer. So I guess that's the only thing she could have think of.
Speaker 1:
And of course, my brother called and was apologizing that he didn't say anything. You know he's sorry and this and that, and if he didn't do anything or say anything, why are you sorry? So I had cut him out for a while. And this is where the trust, the trust, the trust comes in. You have your brother, you have your sister. My other sister did the same thing to me. My other sister did the same thing to me where, you know, she's the oldest one. So I'm telling her about my personal business, my personal business, my own personal business, nobody else my own.
Speaker 1:
And this is the oldest sister. You know you have your big sister and you can talk about anything. And you know, and lo and behold, when my mom passed away and everything went to hell, her daughter, who is, I have a few words, but her daughter had said something to me and I knew it was coming from my sister, my sister, because that's something her and I talked about. And I said to myself here we go, history repeating itself now with my brother, and I have three brothers okay, three, and the oldest brother that's a year older than me. He and I have we have a good relationship. He's my favorite brother. I know people shouldn't say, oh, favorite sister, but he is my favorite brother. Who doesn't like it? I always tell them I don't care, and so he understands me. We can talk and everything, and it doesn't go anywhere other than, you know, in the phone or the walls and that's pretty much it. The other brother that's in Jamaica.
Speaker 1:
He is a jealous person and he talks too much and so I'm not trying to, you know, slam my siblings or anything, but when you have a family member or sibling that you thought you had a good relationship with and you see, they pull a stunt like that. All needs to happen is that you just cut them off, Because what's the point? The trust is gone, right? You can't tell me that you have your brother, your sister out there and you're talking to them, you have good conversation, and as soon as they're back, they go and they start talking in a different way about you, to their husband or to their wife or their girlfriend or their boyfriend or whatever. And some people say, oh, brother, sister or your nephew or whatever, let's just all forget it and let's just all get along. No, not in my school, not in my school. And that's why I wanted to come to you guys and talk to you about it. Like you know, where's the trust? Where's the trust? You know what I mean. Where's the trust If your family, your own family remember, your own sibling can do that to you? You know what I mean. So who else, who else? Who else can you go out there to trust?
Speaker 1:
You know, for me, I live my life and I always say I kind of live my life just really, really quiet and reserved and I stay in my own lane, I don't care for no, no, no, togetherness with nobody, no family members or nothing. Because, to be honest with you everybody, I don't miss my family. I don't miss, you know, I don't miss them. I have a sister that's also in Jamaica, where we have we have a decent relationship, you know. And then the other brother in the US we also have. I have two brothers in the US, one that I speak with very well and the other one I don't. So I have three brothers and I cut off two. I have four sisters and I cut off three. How about that? You know?
Speaker 1:
And it's so important to have respect and to have that integrity and once that integrity is gone, the relationship between you and your brother, or you and your sister, or whoever, it can never, it can never be real because the trust is gone, right? So this is why I just wanted to bring this, you know, on this podcast, because it's so important. There's so many families out there that don't. There's no love, there's no trust, there's no respect. You know, nobody cares. You know what I mean and I know I had this on.
Speaker 1:
We talked about this before about, you know, family, you know, and family is something special, but for me, I don't really say family, I say relatives, we're just related, that's pretty much it by blood, you know. So I'm telling you it's not, it's just not a good thing, it's just not a good thing. And a friend of mine said why don't you just, you know, talk to him and tell him I don't need to do that. You're an adult, you know what you did. You know what you did. You know what you did was wrong. And even though I try to, you know, just kind of be civil or whatever, you still have that dirty way inside of you. So this time around I said okay, enough of your ass, it's time to just cut off and delete. You still can't tell me what is it that you know about me, that you went and told your wife about me to the point where she said it's the stuff that you told her. What stuff, what stuff You're making me out to look like some, what stuff are you talking about? You know.
Speaker 1:
So there's some things that people don't understand, that when they do things and hurt you, they don't understand it can leave a stain on your heart. You know it can leave a stain on your heart. Hurt is hurt and pain is pain. I don't need no one to tell me that Right. And nowadays, in this time, day and age where we live in, people don't care. People don't care. It's just for the moment. You know people. It's like the season, right. So the change in the season, you know, in that season you knew that person. And then after a while, a different season come, that person is gone. You know there's no animosity or anything, you just know you just everybody's just got to move, keep it moving and keep and move on. There's no genuine nothing at all. You know no genuine nothing. So that's life and that's how it is.
Speaker 1:
So anybody out there that has this sibling rivalry and this unnecessary bickering and all that, all you have to do is just remove yourself. That's it. That's all you have to do is just remove yourself. You don't need to waste your time to argue and fuss and fight. Just remove yourself and delete and block. Okay, and that will. I'm telling you, try it one day. It'll make you feel a whole lot better.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, always remember that, no matter who it is. Once they hurt you in a way, where it's something that it's so hard to you know, we always can forgive, but never forget, and especially when it's your sibling, you know what I mean, your sibling and you're supposed to live good together. Everybody argues and fight, but not to the level where you know they do something that really and truly hurt you to the core. Then you know there's something going on here, right? But thank you everybody. That's all for this episode and thank you so much for joining me here on we Will With Lap Podcast and have yourself a very good week and we will talk next week Tuesday again. We're here 5 am every Tuesday morning, 5 am everybody, and we're also on Facebook. You can follow us there and also on Instagram. Thank you for joining me. Take care, everyone, much love.
