117. Reprogram Your Subconscious: From Scarcity to Abundance Mindset

Are you aware that your deep-seated limiting beliefs could hinder your financial and personal growth? Changing your money mindset is not just about making more money; it’s about fostering a mindset of abundance and worthiness that transcends financial gain and enriches every aspect of life.

In this episode of the Power, Purpose, & Prosperity Podcast, Sabine speaks with Amanda Suga about empowering ambitious women of color to embrace their true purpose and create impactful income in their businesses. Amanda is a transformative coach and brand & marketing strategist who spent over a decade in corporate marketing and branding, managing successful brand launches and campaigns for high-end luxury brands and Fortune 500 companies.

Listen in to learn how societal expectations push women to refuse help and support, leading to unnecessary struggles. You will also learn how childhood and workplace traumas can follow women into their entrepreneurial journeys, plus how Amanda creates a safe space for clients to express and process their emotions.

Key Takeaways:

• Recognizing how societal and family influences shape our money beliefs and how to change them.
• Techniques to retrain your subconscious mind to move from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance.
• How to identify and address personal traumas and challenges to build a successful business and lead effectively.
• Using the emotional freedom technique (EFT) to manage emotional barriers and release negativity..

What You Will Learn in This Episode: 

• [02:47] Amanda’s journey from a recovering type A corporate employee to a transformative coach.
• [07:48] How the birth of her son catalyzed her decision to expand her impact and help more women.
• [09:05] She explains the limiting beliefs and conditioning around money that she grew up with and how they impacted her.
• [11:49] Amanda outlines her process for helping clients explore their true desires and confront limiting beliefs.
• [18:43] The importance of having a guide through your entrepreneurship journey to help you reach your destination.
• [22:26] The struggle women face with accepting help and support and how it often blocks prosperity.
• [29:19] The compounded trauma women face from childhood, workplace, and entrepreneurship, and how to recognize and address them for success.
• [36:03] Understanding emotional freedom technique (EFT) and its benefits in processing and releasing negative emotions.

Connect with Amanda: 

• Website: https://www.theilluminary.co
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theilluminary.co
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/theilluminaryco

Book Recommendations:

• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
• The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan

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HOST INFO:

Sabine Gedeon is a transformative figure in leadership and personal development and serves as the CEO of Gedeon Enterprises. With nearly two decades of experience, she guides clients in startups and Fortune 500 companies. Sabine's unique approach combines human-centered principles with tech-enabled solutions, delivering customized programs for leaders at all levels to tackle crucial leadership and talent development challenges.

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ADDITIONAL SUPPORT:

Download Free Resources - https://sabinegedeon/gifts
Get Coaching Support: https://meetwithsabine.as.me/Discovery

Transcript

0:00

Are you tired of playing small and ready to step confidently into your greatness and share your unique brilliance with the world? Well, you're in the right place. I'm your host, Sabine Gideon, and I've dedicated nearly two decades empowering individuals and leaders as they confidently navigate the twists and turns of life and career transitions. If you're seeking direction, connection, or just a little push to play bigger, consider this podcast, your VIP path to a community that genuinely understands your journey. Join me every week for candid conversations and practical guidance designed to help you navigate the challenges of life and business, foster a growth mindset and cultivate meaningful connections. It's time to embrace your inherent power, define your unique purpose and prosper in every aspect of your life. Let's get started.

Sabine: 0:54

All right, I am Sabine Gideon, I am your host, and I am so excited to bring you another installment of the Power of Money. Series and today I have with me the lovely Miss Amanda sugar. Amanda, is a seasoned mindset and money coach who blends together neuroscience and spirituality to light the way for ambitious women x of color to step into their true purpose and power to create more income and impact in their business. She believes that if more of us are creating more money, Ultimately this will change the world. Yes. So with that, welcome to the show, Amanda. So excited to have you.

Amanda: 1:35

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here, and I love hearing over and over again like this mission of why I do what I do, because I do believe that money is power ultimately, and it can be used to heal the world in amazing ways when more people are resourced with it.

Sabine: 1:58

Absolutely. So we're gonna get into the talk about money as I, as we are sharing in the green room. Uh, I've been following you for some time, or at least we've been connected on social for some time. Mm-hmm. Um, and I just love your, uh, no, let's call it a no BS approach to telling the truth about the decisions and maybe sometimes the unconscious things that we do. Especially as women to push away money, to move away from money and even move away from power. Um, in our decision making. So before we get o into all of that, I would love for you to share with the audience a bit about your journey, cuz I know you referred to yourself as a recovering type A. Yes. Um, I am also in recovery, so I would love to hear what, what, what were the steps that you took in your career journey that led you to this place?

Amanda: 2:47

Yeah. Um, so I was born and raised in Hawaii. It's a. A very small local town and I kind of, you know, followed all the rules. I did what I had to do. I did well in school. I went to college. I got the degree, I worked in marketing and advertising for 10 plus years, and I was just very good at, please tell me what to do and I will do it exactly the right way. I will. Take any of your feedback. And it was very much this like, rule following, get it perfect, good girl situation. Um, and I, and I, I liked it because it gave me a lot of external validation of like, you're doing it right. You're good enough, you're worthy. And that worked for me for a while in my early twenties. And then when I got to kind of, uh, I guess my later twenties and like wanting to expand and wanting to do more, I started to come up against this wall of like, It, it's almost like I, because I was so good at like doing things the right way, like my brain was not used to thinking outside the box and I, and I became in a position where if I wanted to grow, that was gonna be what was required of me. And that was really difficult because, If you've grown up following the rules and being conditioned to operate a certain way. When you start to step outside of that, or you start to even think outside of that, all of your internal alarm bells start going off, right? Like, wait, this is, is this safe? I'm not actually sure. And specifically when it came to. Money in particular, when I was working in corporate, I wanted to make more money, obviously. I wanted to grow, I wanted to excel, and I found that that process of even just desiring that or wanting that was so shocking to my system. I remember asking for like one of the, you know, bigger raises that I got in my job and literally shaking and almost like coming to tears in this meeting with my boss to just even ask like, Hey, this is, you know what I want and this is what I see. Can I have this raise? I had all of the, um, the proof to kind of show like that this was, this made sense from a, from a responsibility standpoint or from a performance standpoint, but it was so shocking to my system and it's almost like I was not even in my body doing it the, the fear and the, the kind of discomfort that came with it. All of that to say, I think those unconscious reactions that we have or, or that reaction that I have eventually led me into digging into, well, why, why was I so afraid? Why was I so scared? Why was I so anxious? And that eventually led me into, Um, that whole journey of, of wanting to make more money led me into spirituality and led me into looking into, um, subconscious, you know, how the subconscious fine works, how our brain actually works. And it led me into doing all of this work, um, and research and understanding to then be able to kind of understand, well, those reactions were. Subconscious, those reactions were just a part of my programming, and they don't necessarily mean that I'm not able to get what I want. They're just kind of the gatekeeper to getting there. So in that journey of kind of going through that process myself, of dealing with those, um, limiting and unconscious beliefs, I was able to move up in my corporate career using mindset, using spirituality, kind of looking at the energetics of things and not just looking at the actions. So, That was my personal journey that eventually wanted me, led me to wanna help other people. Cuz after I did that, I had a lot of co female coworkers in particular, like asking, well, how did you do that? What did you do? And it wasn't just what I did, it was what I was choosing to believe, what I was choosing to be willing to feel, and how committed I was choosing to be to what I wanted. Even though the rules or the social norms weren't. Aligning with that. So that was kind of my journey through corporate to kind of start to untangle and let go of all of those rules was to kind of go through the muddy discomfort of like, okay, this isn't what I feel like I'm supposed to do, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Uh, and, and being supported in that during that time was super. Was everything to me, like having that support of someone kind of pushing and saying like, yes, you can do this. This is okay. Which is what eventually led me into coaching and wanting to help people, uh, look at their mindset. But not only that, but to tie it back to their spirituality and what they were truly being called to do as, as individuals.

Sabine: 7:28

Okay, so I I, I have a couple questions to follow up. So at what point. Did it click for you to say, all right, you already had the coworkers who were seeking your support, but at what point did it click for you? And you said, okay, you know what? I'm ready to step out. I'm ready to expand this impact and help more women.

Amanda: 7:48

Yeah. So the, that actually happened, um, when my son was born. Uh, so after having my son and kind of that first like few months of life with him, I started to kind of, I think it kind of hit me like, oh, there's something else. There's someone else that I'm doing this for. It became more important to me to expand the impact, not just for myself or other women, but it was like building a better world for him. Mm-hmm. Right. For the next generation. And that that I think was when it hit and I was like, okay, I can't ignore this anymore. This isn't just a, well, that would be nice. It was like, oh no. I was constantly feeling this call, like, I need to do this work.

Sabine: 8:28

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm curious, uh, cuz you know, all of us who, who step into this space or who, who gain the confidence, if you will, or the courage to talk about money openly and talk about our relationships and maybe even like the, the darker sides of our relationship. I'm curious, what was your, uh, and you don't have to go into too much detail, but what were your initial introductions to, to money? Like what were some of those things that. Fed that belief of unworthiness and that so much of your identity was tied to money.

Amanda: 9:04

Right. I think growing up where I grew up, um, small town, uh, if you're familiar with Hawaii, there is a lot of colonization here, obviously because the Hawaiian monarchy was overthrown at some point. So it's kind of woven into the culture here. But I definitely grew up, grew up with a family where it was like work hard. You have to work hard. Um, like money is hard, you know, hard to make. It's limited. Like we have to be very careful with it. It's hard to come by, but there was always this story of, it's for them. Um, I come from a family, uh, that's partially a minority. Um, Filipino and Portuguese, which in Hawaii is kind of considered like a minority groups. And so it was always like this story of, well, that's for them, that's for rich people, or, it j it was just this story of limitation and this story of the other of kind of making it different. And it was, it almost felt like I was always ingrained with like, hard work is how you prove that you are good enough. And. Money was almost this, well, if you do the hard work and you do prove you're good enough, then you'll get the money. So it was almost like the money was the validation. Yeah. Which I now know is not the case, but it was like this constant wanting and proving and working hard. And if it didn't come or if, if there wasn't enough, then it, it really tied back to my own like, well that must mean that you are not enough.

Sabine: 10:32

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, we have a very similar, um, very similar past programming. Mm-hmm. Let's put it that way. Yes.

Amanda: 10:41

Cause I think a lot of people do and maybe unconsciously do.

Sabine: 10:45

Yeah. Yeah. And, and to your point, you know, it, it takes a lot of work to undo that programming. Um, and it's almost like the older you get to undo that work, like the more layers and years and decades of that to undo so, Kudos to you for, you know, recognizing that at such an early age and starting to do the work and now really stepping into this place of supporting others who want to do the work or who need support. I, I imagine similar to me, you didn't have a, you, uh, guiding you through this process. It was more so being led by the information and the sources and the resources that mm-hmm. Made themselves available. So, Um, thank you for doing this work cuz Lord knows if I had a me or if I had a you, uh, right. Going through that process, it would've been so much easier. Um mm-hmm. So, I'm curious, as, as you think about, or with regards to the work that you do today, tell us how you help, uh, women in business, women entrepreneurs.

Amanda: 11:48

So the process I would usually take someone through is really like getting them quiet, getting their mind quiet, and actually doing the exploration and the visioning work to be like, what is it that you really want? Because I think that society has programmed us with a lot of like, things we should want, like a, a house or a car or a bag or you know, like these. Things, but it's really giving them the space to actually explore. Like what does abundance, if we wanna use that as a term with money and otherwise look like for them, how do they wanna go about doing that? So really taking time to like explore what that could look like and giving them, Ideas of what that could look like, because I think the difficult thing about all of this is it's hard to become who we don't see. So if everyone in our world is kind of living this very specific life with these very specific, um, or limited, you know, views on money or views on what success is, it's really important to open that up and be like, well, what else could that look like? Having them kind of come to a place of, well, this is what I would like and this is what it looks like for me. And then I think comes the, the hard, deep, and probably uncomfortable work of. Practicing stepping in. And then I think once we do that, once we start to decide what we want and step in, then what happens is I think all, all the stuff comes up, all the mud comes up, all the stories come up, right? When we start to make decisions around, well, this is how much money I would like to make and this is how I wanna do it. The moment that we start to do that and start to take action, um, I think that's when our brain starts to feed us like, well, are you sure? And like, is, is this actually gonna work? And. The doubt comes up, right? And that's our opportunity to really go in and slow down and start to ask questions, well, where is this coming from? What does this mean? And I think that having a dialogue with someone to ask those questions that we might not even think or want to ask ourselves about, like, well, why? Why? What does this mean? Like, where is this coming from? That starts to uncover. What those limiting beliefs are, what that program programming is from before. And then that process takes us through just bringing light to it. Um, that really helps us start to see it, process it, acknowledge it, and then we know, okay, well if, if someone has a limiting belief, like I'm not worthy on the other end of. Healing that we look at how do we, how do we start programming what we want into the subconscious mind? How do we start programming, I am worthy? How do we start showing the brain, which is very tedious work. I think that maybe a lot of people won't wanna do is like, how do we actually show it proof that we are, and this can be, this is as simple as taking the time each morning to write down five different ways that we are worthy. And I think this is the work that. That does the most change because it, it is work that the brain will want to ignore or want to say, like, I don't know. Or it will want to say like, I don't have time for that. But then as we start finding proof, we start almost forcing the brain to look at proof of the. What could be true. And that's how I think we start to do this rewiring work of, well, we know what the limiting beliefs are as they come up. We get to look at them and then we start to program in, well what do we wanna believe and how is that already true? And that's how we start to make this shift in how people are really seeing themselves. Um, and that takes a little bit of time. It's definitely not a. Overnight change. Uh, some of the other tools I use are like hypnosis, which just is kind of going in and helping the subconscious mind restructure, um, on a lower level. Uh, we also do a lot of visualizations and really just, I think at, at the, the core of it is really just having that reflection and support to have someone hold you at the level that you're wanting to be at, and to kind of bring you back there all the time to bring you back to that North Star. Yeah.

Sabine: 15:53

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. And again, you know, having, having experienced it, this is not easy work. Uh, right. And so, you know, like you just eloquently described your process and your steps and, you know, people might be listening and thinking like, oh, okay, well that makes sense and that's easy, but it's not easy. And, and the truth is, You had to first walk that long, lonely, painful, mm-hmm. Journey. Yes. To be able to lead and guide other people to come to that space. So to make this a little bit more practical, right. So, you know, if, for those of you who are listening or who are watching, you know, I, I liken it to my experience when I left corporate America, right? So I left corporate America where I felt like I was in a great place. But I also had a lot more capacity. I wanted to make a bigger impact and when I left I had these, dreams of grandeur. Like I was gonna start this coaching business and, you know, my pipeline booked and busy, right? Mm-hmm. And when booked and busy did not happen in those first six months or even that first year to be completely transparent, this mirror came up. And all I could see in this mirror were all of the, uh, internal programming, like you mentioned before, of there's not enough and poverty and money is, is not for me and I'm not worthy. And all these things started coming up. And I always share with people, and I've shared it multiple times here, that, entrepreneurship to me has been the best professional development course that Oh yeah. I ever take. Um, cuz it reveals so much about you. And, and similar to you, you know, a lot of us who go into coaching, it's because we sincerely wanna help support other people and we wanna help them heal from the things that we've had to heal from. But it's almost like, We, when we step into this place, we think, oh, okay, I'm good now. And then that big old, uh, what is it like the, um, when you go to the circus or when you like the, the mirrors are all around. Yes. It's almost like those mirrors. Yeah. Yeah. You can't, you can't unsee anything at that point. Um, and so basically what I'm hearing you say is that you. Support your clients as they go through that journey of, regardless of whether they're still in corporate, they've started their business wherever they are, defining what it is that they want, and then when the, when they step into the house of mirrors, right? So to speak, you are there to say, okay, let's just focus on this one mirror right now. Mm-hmm. What do you see? What is being reflected back to you? Do you wanna receive it? Do you not wanna receive it? How do you wanna change it? Once they're through that, then, all right, let's look at this next mirror. Right, and let you look at what it's reflecting back to us.

Amanda: 18:42

Exactly. That's such a great analogy, right? It's helping them not get lost in the mirrors and the, all of the other stuff that's coming at them so that they can actually keep moving forward. Because I think that, I agree. Entrepreneurship is like the thing. If you want to like really find yourself and find your soul and, and really get down to who you really are. And having a guide through that is, I don't think it's necessary. I think people can definitely do it on their own, but having someone to guide you who's not standing inside of the mirror, someone who's like standing on the top and it's like, I can see exactly where you are. Let me help you take the next step. Because I think it's really easy to get lost in those mirrors, right? It's really easy to spend weeks or months or years even, like just trying to figure out, well, which mirror am I looking at? And Yes, exactly. I love that analogy so much. I'm definitely gonna use that. But it, it's definitely like helping them keep going so they don't get lost in that hall of mirror so that they can get to their next destination. So that they can get to the other side.

Sabine: 19:48

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Um, we are speaking the same language. So let's, let's, um, let's deepen this a little, right? So the whole point of this conversation was to, of course, illuminate. Mm-hmm. Um, our, our challenges, right? And some of the subconscious, some of the inner workings. We know that there are external factors out there that exist in society, right? To keep women in a space where our relationship with money is always this, this thing that keeps us away, right? Mm-hmm. I'm saying money. And for those of you who have been watching or been listening to this, you understand that money is just the external vehicle, if you will. Mm-hmm. Um, but in reality there are things externally, but there are also things within us. That keeps us from owning our power, from owning our truth, from even doing the work of, and giving ourselves permission to identify what it is that we want in this life, to identify what is our soul's purpose or our soul's work, and then to actually take the courageous steps to move forward. Mm-hmm. Money becomes the outcome. And the results of that. But really what keeps us from stepping into this place of power, like you, like I read in your bio, you know, when we have more money, when we access it, we have more power because that's a society that we live in, right? We need money to be able to do things. And it's, it's the shifting of the mindset that it's not about having money. So I can hoard or so that I can brag and say, I have all these things. Although if that's what you wanna do, cool. Like you are well with. Right. But it's also this understanding that the more we have, the more we're able to do, right? We as women, we're wired to nurture, we're wired to give, we're wired to look at what's happening around us and to support. And so we are doing ourselves a disservice as well as society around us that me so desperately wanna change. When we keep ourselves small, when we keep ourselves limited, when we say, no, I don't need all that money, or, that's not important to me, but it is because you wanna change your community. You wanna change the trajectory of your children's life. So talk to us about like, what are some of the things, and, and there's no right answers here, but what are some of the things that we can start to do to recognize when we're operating or we're creating scarcity in our own minds? And creating it around us and still wondering like, well, why is there a pay gap? Why is there all this inequity? Why am I not, you know, this or that, or whatever. Right. I

Amanda: 22:26

think one of the biggest, or I kind the easiest things to see or look at is how we're receiving, right? I think as women, you, you've got the nail on the head of like, we've been conditioned to be helpers to help everyone else ahead of ourselves. And I think that has resulted in this like, We shouldn't receive. So receiving, receiving money, I think ties to the way we receive anything else. So looking at how we're receiving support, love, uh, a really good one is like if someone's buying you coffee, someone's paying you a compliment, like someone's giving you something. What most women will do is be like, oh no, no, you know, like, you don't need to do that. Or like, oh, like they kind of will deflect. They will block themselves from receiving that thing, whether it's a coffee or a compliment or just like even help with groceries. It's kind of like this. I don't actually like, no, I'm good. I can do it myself, which is rooted in scarcity, right? It is rooted in like a. I don't, or I don't need X, Y, Z. We don't need anything besides food and like we don't need running water, we don't need toilets. Those are all preferences. But I think when we start to see the words need come in, when we kind of start to deflect, receiving, that is a really good indication of where we're also blocking money. Right. Uh, So if we're not receiving help or support or love or even being open to receive, you know, someone buying us lunch or someone giving us coffee or someone holding the door open, even, those are all ways to kind of start to see like, where am I blocking, receiving? Um, and then like starting to ask like, well, why is that? Like why am I pushing that away? And that has a lot to do with this whole conditioning of. That we are supposed to just be helping and that we're supposed to be supportive. Um, and that it, it should come before like our desires and wants and needs, right? Like, and I think that's part of our instinctual, you know, as women, like we are nurturing, we're caregivers. And I think that's just been exploited over the last several hundred years into our society where it's like, well, you should be cleaning the house and taking care of the kids and doing all these things without. I know it's like unpaid labor without, you know, being paid for it, without being compensated for it. And so looking at how you're receiving is a really great thing to look at. The other thing to look at is where you're telling yourself, uh, in terms of scarcity, like where you're, where you're kind of telling yourself like, I don't have enough. It could be money, it could be time. I think that those are very tightly connected. It could be. Uh, just not having enough support. So it's interesting, right, because we'll say as women like, I don't have enough time and I don't have enough help and I don't have this, but then at the same time, we'll also push, we won't ask for help, right? We won't receive the help. It's very difficult for us. And so I think that's a really great way to kind of start to notice where. We're, we're pushing things away where we're, we're closing ourself off from receiving because I do believe that money and all of those things want to come to us in different ways, but we are blocking. Somehow we're kind of like, no, I'm good. I got this. I can do this myself.

Sabine: 25:53

Yeah, totally agree. So the groceries got me cuz I was, I was the queen of that. Like 50 bags. Oh, three flights of stairs. Yeah. I, I got this. No, I don't need your help. Well, we'll figure this out. Um, or even the door opening, like people opening the door. I know back in the day that used to be like a huge thing, right? Mm-hmm. Like gentleman opening the door. And instinctively like, uh, I've, I learned the hard way, but instinctively, like it would be like, oh, okay, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna open this door. Like even just taking that step back and allowing somebody to open that door for you, um, that's a huge thing. You're, you're absolutely right with the compliments. I, and I've been saying this for a while too. If you wanna know your receptivity to receiving, and that's money, that's anything. How do you handle compliments? How do you handle compliments? And we as women, we are notorious, oh girl, I just got this at targe or Right, we went downplay. Yeah, right. This old thing. Oh my gosh. I didn't even think it was cute. You know what I mean? Like we do that. And I found myself, especially since we've been in this, this virtual world, You know, the days that I don't get dressed or I don't have my hair done, or you know, it's wash day and I got my little turbine on. It's like, my apologies, it's wash day and why, why do I need to do that? Um, and it's so instinctive and it's not until somebody is just like, oh, it looks great that I'm like, in that moment of. Just receive it. Mm-hmm. Receive it, um, and then move forward. So let's talk a little bit about for, uh, the audience is obviously women in corporate, women in entrepreneurship. So there are some practical ex, uh, tips that you gave around just being aware and being conscious of how you are looking at yourself, thinking of yourself, thinking of what's available to you and perhaps what's not available to you. But for us in, in entrepreneurship, and I don't know about you. Because there was so much work that had to be done to unlayer. Some of these, uh, money beliefs or just identity beliefs, really that's what they were. Mm-hmm. They were identity beliefs that were being reflected back to me in money. Um, usually, or as we're seeing in these last couple of years, you know, women are stepping out and starting their businesses at like rates we, we haven't seen in a very long time, and especially women of color. Um, and if you're carrying any baggage or you're carrying any trauma, Right. And you're in corporate and then you decide to leave corporate because you're tired of the trauma. Mm-hmm. In corporate that you're dealing with now you wanna be this person. It's almost like it hits you and I, and I don't know if you've experienced this with their clients, but it's like a double whammy because now you're, you've got the, the childhood trauma, you got the workplace trauma, and now you have the business trauma. Uh, that is now following you, so. Mm-hmm. Have you had clients or have you found yourself supporting clients with really helping them to one, identify that what they've experienced is really truly trauma? Um, and then how do you really, well, you don't have to go into details of how you move through that trauma, but how do you start to help them identify those areas of trauma so that it doesn't take five years before their business? Gets off the ground that they can immediately get to those places and, and recover and heal.

Amanda: 29:19

Yeah, I think there are varying levels of trauma and I, I think that we all have it, right? I think as a woman and as a person of color, not only do you have potential childhood trauma, but I think there's inherited incestual trauma that we are just kind of, you know, born with. It's in our genes, it's just gonna be there. So whatever level of trauma comes up. What I like to do is really just create space to allow that tr a safe space to allow that trauma to be expressed. Right? So this usually comes up in the form of expressing emotion. It's usually crying. It's usually kind of like having them feel. And allow those feelings to come up to be processed. And that just requires creating space, creating a safe space. Because I think similar to what you said about the apologizing, a lot of my clients will start to have the emotion and I can tell that they'll like immediately start to try to push it back down. And it's like, no, you don't have to apologize. This is totally normal. Let's just allow this to be here. Without judgment, without shaming it, without trying to push it down so that it can just express and be heard. Because I do think that those, those trauma parts of us that we're holding, they're just wanting to come out and be heard. And then it's, we get the opportunity to listen and be like, well, what does this part of me need? It's almost as if we're kind of, I think of them as like little, like little versions of us, like inner children at uh, if you want to put a name to it, it's really just allowing them space to. To express that and to speak to those parts of them, um, and to create a safe space to then move forward. Because I don't think that we're ever gonna get to a point where we're gonna just resolve all of our, you know, all of our trauma and all of our stories. It's more of in folding those parts back in, allowing them to be there and seeing them and be like, okay, you can be here. And that's not, we don't need to be completely healed to. Start our business or grow our business or grow our career. I love the term that we heal as we do this, and I think having that mindset just helps clients be like, this is okay. If this is here, I can still grow my business from this place right here is more than enough. And I think that allows this kind of fluid. Process of, yes, this is gonna come up. You probably will cry multiple times a week as you kind of uncover this, and that's okay. That doesn't mean you're behind or that, um, anything's broken. This is just part of the experience. So really just setting it up as like all of these emotions and these traumas are normal and just part of the journey.

Sabine: 32:01

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, couple of great points there. You know, I think the challenge is when we step into entrepreneurship, or even though for those who have, of us who have been been doing it, so for a while, and we're actually doing the work, right? The hard work behind the scenes. Mm-hmm. Um, it's so easy to look at these highlight reels, whether they be on Instagram or whatever, social platform. And, you know, we're looking at others and yes, we might be celebrating them and we might be excited about what they're doing. But we're also, we know that we're in the middle of a valley working through something, and that can start us to get to the place if we, if we allow it to start to look at us, like, oh my gosh, like I'm losing, and I'm like, I'll never get this and da, da, da, da. And not recognizing that I don't know one successful person. Who does not have a story of struggle. Now that does not mean that you have to lean into struggle, but part of part of getting to that place of success is becoming who you really are. And that means shedding. There's a lot of pain there. There's a lot of emotion. Um, something you brought up made me remember a book that I read, uh, not too long ago. Uh, children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Um, I forget the author, but I will include it in the show notes. And basically what it, it, what it talked about, the, the doctor who speaks to this is, you know, oftentimes we are raised by individuals who don't know how to deal with their own emotions or they learned. Certain defense mechanisms and, when we demonstrated an emotion that they either weren't familiar with or they weren't comfortable with, or that made them, see their own, stuff, then it, it was stifled oftentimes. And we as children, we grow up thinking, okay, well something is wrong with me. I can't show this emotion. I can't be angry, I can't be sad, I can't be whatever. And we're picking this up unconsciously because of the reaction of our parents or our caregivers or whatever the case may be. And so, I'll speak for myself. We grow up in this space of like, I gotta be strong all the time because weakness, weakness is not okay. Like, vulnerability is not okay. And yes, that served me in my household because that's what I needed. But as you grow older, like you can't, first of all, you can't be leading anyone without, you know, being okay with being vulnerable. You can't build a business without showing who the real you is, because that's what people are really, you know, investing into. So, I, I think it's important, and I'll again, I'll put the book in the show notes that. We're really doing that work and allowing ourselves to feel. One of the greatest exercises that I did, and I continue to do actually two really great exercises, is when I feel quote unquote, some type of way is sitting with it. Before it used to be like, okay, something's happening. I don't know what's going on. I need to just push through. Now it's something is happening. I can't yet identify it, and I'm gonna give myself space to identify it. And once I've identified whatever the feeling is, I, I give it a name. I give it sad, frustrated, dis disappointed, discouraged, whatever it is. And I allow myself to feel that it doesn't always feel great, but for me, what I found is that emotional release mm-hmm. Allows me to like step into a place of creativity, step into a place of joy like never before. Um, and then I know, I, I think I saw it on your website that you do, uh, tapping EF f t. Mm-hmm. Emotional freedom release. I recently discovered that. Yes. And oh my gosh, the days of balling. The days of balling, who knew so much emotion was trapped behind. Self-sufficiency or independence or confidence in all these other things. Um, so I'd love for you, I, I I, in terms of your EF T practice, is this something that you leverage for yourself on a regular basis? And what, what drew you to that work? Yeah.

Amanda: 36:03

E f T is one of the tools that I am using to help people as they're kind of like, exactly like you said, like something's coming up and instead of pushing it down, let's see what that is, let's release it, let's process it. Um, so ef f t what led me to EF f t? Um, I had never heard of it before. I had kind of seen people do more positive, like positive tapping, but when I. Really got into it, it learned more. I kind of loved the idea of using, it's primarily used as a tool to release negative emotion. Mm-hmm. Right? Because what we want to do, like you said, is like there is so much negative emotion trauma stored in our body, and when we use the tapping, we're able to tap into it, access it, process it in a way that is, uh, it doesn't always feel great, I'll tell you that. Like sometimes we're tapping in and it's starting to feel more intense. Um, And then it starts to go down. But like we need to tap in to do that. And tapping is just a great tool to kind of create structure, right? To create structure around how we're tapping in so it doesn't turn into something that feels like it's getting out of control. But I love tapping as a tool to just kind of keep you grounded in your body in what we're doing, in whatever we're tapping on at the moment. It kind of creates a little bit of security around ex uh, going into these emotions and processing them. Um, but when I learned about tapping it, what it was and how it like ties into your, your energy systems and your, it's almost like energy psychology. It's like tapping on your energy system in your body and kind of tuning into the mental, so it's connecting those two parts. Yeah. It's connecting your physical to your mental, and it's a really great tool for anyone to use. Like it's so easy that anyone can do it just to have that support as your. Sitting with and processing your emotions.

Sabine: 37:55

Yeah. Um, I read a book, um, tapping, I think it's Tapping for Wealth by Margaret Rainer. She has a whole bunch of videos on, on, um, YouTube. I'll include those as well. And that's why I first got introduced to it. And at first I was just like, I don't understand how tapping or, you know, touching myself at my collarbone is gonna work. But then. She describes that if you've ever had acupuncture, right? Mm-hmm. You're literally leveraging the same points in which the needles go and, but you can do it yourself. So as, as we're wrapping up here, this SE series was meant to be, to help women get to a place where we can be honest about what's working, what's not working, uh, what we're feeling, and then also learn from individuals who they live in this space. I was reading, um, I was listening to, uh, this book by, um, Wayne Dyer, and he, and he talks about like, you can't, you can't give what you don't have, right? Mm-hmm. So it's almost like, and he gave one example, like if you wanted to make orange juice, You need an orange, the point is you need that orange to squeeze. And so oftentimes we're looking at, you know, the lack of juice and we're forgetting the fact that like, but you, you don't have an orange, and that orange is within, i, I know I probably butchered the mess out of that. That analogy, but the point is that whatever we don't have, It's because we don't believe that we have it within. Right? And if there's something that we want in our lives, whether it's, you know, more money or more power, or more impact, or more influence, whatever that thing is, that it's not gonna come from the outside. Someone's not gonna magically tap you on the shoulder and give you, or even if it's just more love. More support, more kindness. Um, you know, in the space that we're talking about being effective leaders, it's all about empathy. It's all about compassion. You can't. Give compassion or empathy if you don't first give it to yourself. Exactly. Um, so with that, I, I definitely wanna be, uh, respectful of your time here. A couple of questions for you for the blitz session, and then I want you to share with the audience how they can get in touch with you, how they can, um, reach out to you. So, um, real quick with these three questions, knowing what you know now, If you could go back to a, a younger version of yourself and give her some key advice, what might that be?

Amanda: 40:23

Yeah, the one thing I would say to her is like, you're already enough. You already have it all in here. Exactly like you said, it's coming from within, and I think I would just keep telling her over and over again, you already have enough. You already are enough. Trust

Sabine: 40:39

that. Yeah. I love that. I love that. And when you believe that you create more than enough Exactly. And not the scarcity that keeps you in that cycle. Love it. And so when you think, you know, look ahead, right? You're looking at your, your life 40, 50, 60, however many years from now. Mm-hmm. And you're, you're looking at the impact that you've been able to make. What do you want that narrative to be?

Amanda: 41:06

I want that narrative to be, I think similar to like what I said at number one, for women to see that they already, I think becoming your highest, your best self is really just you realizing that you already are and there's nothing else that needs to change. There's nothing else that really needs to be better. It's realizing that, but the impact would, like the material impact would be like seeing women step up, own their unique magic and power and be paid for it. Be paid in a way that. Uh, nourishes them, nourishes their community so that they can live the kind of lives they wanna live. So that really looks like just women being able to support themselves, being able to know that they create money from within themselves, first, being able to know that they're never gonna have to say no to something that they really desire, something that their children desires or that their family desires because they're going to have enough. And I think that looks like. More female entrepreneurs just making a lot more money and then spreading that in their community because like you said, we can't give what we can't. Don't receive first. And so it's really this kind of circle of abundant situation where we have women who are resourced, who are supported in many different ways in their businesses and lives, and who are then sharing that in their communities, right? Giving back, um, supporting communities, supporting their families in so

Sabine: 42:34

many different ways. I love that. Thank you. And then last question, you know, I, obviously I'm a big reader cuz I believe, uh, leaders are readers. Are there any books or is there a book, uh, that you've read, uh, during your journey that you feel has been, uh, you know, critical to your, to your success or in, supported you in the journey of healing? Yeah,

Amanda: 42:56

I would say the one that comes to mind is the gap in the gain. I think it's by Dan Sullivan. Um, but it really talks about this idea of viewing the world from the gain. Being meaning how you already have enough, how you already are enough versus the gap, which is looking at things of like, well, I'm so far from there, or This is how far I have to go. And it's really a really easy read. He explains it in very simple terms, but that book really kind of changed things for me on a mindset level of like, oh, It just explained it in a different way, and I, that's one of the books that I recommend all of my clients read.

Sabine: 43:34

Okay, awesome. We will be sure to include those in the show notes. And so, Amanda, for those who are watching and listening who want to connect with you, who want to learn more about the work that you do, how can they get in touch with you?

Amanda: 43:47

Yeah. Um, I spend a lot of time on Instagram. My username is@theluminary.co. Uh, my website is www.theluminary.co. And. I'm always there sharing content. Dms are open. I love having chats with people or connecting with them.

Sabine: 44:06

awesome. So thank you for being authentically you. Thank you for, um, creating the space for women in business to, you know, look at that mirror and not judge themselves by that mirror. Mm-hmm. But to really take a deep look at what that mirror is telling us so that we can move forward and that we can heal. so with that, thank you so much, Amanda for coming on, for having this conversation with me. With that, have a wonderful rest of the day and we will be back next week. Have a great day. Thank you. Bye.

44:38

Hope you enjoyed this week's episode. If you found today's conversation helpful or got a piece of insight that you plan to implement in your life, I'd love to hear from you. Connect with me on LinkedIn at Sabine Gideon and send me a message, or feel free to leave a review on either Apple or Spotify. I also invite you to share this episode with anyone in your network, another powerhouse, possibly. Who you think might benefit from today's conversation. Lastly, as always, any links, any resources, or any upcoming training is included in the show notes. So be sure to check that before you leave today. Until we chat again, have a blessed and powerful week.