LDS Podcast "Latter-Day Lights" - Inspirational LDS Stories
LDS Podcast "Latter-Day Lights" - Inspirational LDS Stories
Viewing Your Faith and Life Story Through "Context Lenses": Alan Smith - Latter-Day Lights
Sometimes, life’s toughest challenges can lead us to our most profound discoveries.
In this episode of Latter-day Lights, Alan Smith shares how the heartbreaking loss of his infant son set him on a journey of self-discovery through the Spirit.
He explains how looking through our "context lenses"—the stories and beliefs that shape our perspective—can help us see life more clearly and find peace, even in tough times. Alan's journey reminds us that by adjusting our lenses, we can better understand God's guidance in our lives.
Alan’s unique love for shoes and his exploration of his faith show that everyone’s path is different, and faith isn’t one-size-fits-all. His story encourages us to embrace our own journey, recognizing that every step, no matter how unconventional, is part of God’s plan for us.
*** Please SHARE Alan's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***
To WATCH this episode on YouTube, visit: https://youtu.be/9EFIiyMITkk
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To LISTEN to the Living God's Light podcast, visit: https://open.spotify.com/show/510qPfybt2TrRYQpyXbqQg
To VISIT Alan's website, The SOLE Path, go to: https://thesolepath.com/
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Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.
Hey everyone, I'm Scott Brandley.
Alisha Coakley:And I'm Alisha Coakley. Every member of the church has a story to share, one that can instill faith, invite growth and inspire others.
Scott Brandley:On today's episode, we're going to hear how a shoe-obsessed shaman and author is taking steps towards his most authentic self by following the Spirit. Welcome to Latter-day Lights. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Latter-day Lights. We're so glad you're here with us today and we're really excited to introduce our special guest, alan Smith. Alan, how are you doing, my friend?
Alan Smith:I am doing well. How are you guys?
Alisha Coakley:We're good, we're really good. I think Scott's super happy because your name is probably the easiest name that we've had to pronounce on this entire show. Yeah, alan's not real difficult and you know Smith is right up there with ease, right? Yeah, we've had some doozies in the past where we're just like, okay, wait one more time, how do you pronounce it? I think the worst was my sister, right, was sashan?
Scott Brandley:that was a that was a tough one.
Alan Smith:just how it's spelled. Yeah it, we're pretty safe and Smith's easy. You know fun story. My great-grandfather always used to tell us that the reason there were so many Smiths in the world is because it started as Adam and Eve Smith and as you sinned, you got your name changed.
Scott Brandley:Oh Gotcha.
Alisha Coakley:I'm pretty sure that's biblically accurate, Accurate. Oh, that is so funny. I never thought of that. But I wonder if Adam and Eve did have last names. I'm at some point. Where did that See? Now, Alan. Now this whole show is just going to be about that.
Alan Smith:And now there's lots of fun things to think about when you're trying to go to sleep.
Alisha Coakley:There you go. What was Adam and Eve's last name? Awesome. Well, aside from being a descendant of Adam and Eve, why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself?
Alan Smith:So I am Alan Smith. I have been married for 30 years to an amazing woman named Susan, who puts up with all of my antics. Amazing woman named Susan, who puts up with all of my antics. We are the parents of three children and a few what I call I call them strays that we've picked up along the way. Our oldest is Bryce. He is an angel in heaven. We have Haley, who is 26, and we have, who is 24. We have three beautiful grandchildren and I think we're at five grand dogs right now.
Alisha Coakley:Wow, so you have more grand fur babies than human babies Than the regular people.
Alan Smith:Babies, yes, exactly. Oh gotcha the regular people, babies. Yes, exactly, oh, gotcha, so I have. I have lots of different interests. I love writing, I love reading, I love being outside. I'm kind of a lizard. I love the sun. That just makes me really happy. Uh, you can ask me all sorts of things, I. I love shoes. It's one of the things that we talk about all the time.
Alisha Coakley:Oh yeah, yep, I feel like we could probably fill an hour of our time just showing pictures of the amazing shoe collection that you have, literally just like a three second clip of shoe after shoe after shoe, and I mean they are seriously like the most unique shoes that I've ever seen in my entire life. Every time I see you, or every time I see one of your posts, I'm like where does he shop? Seriously, how do you find?
Scott Brandley:these. Is it more like eclectic type shoes or is it? More like special Nikes.
Alan Smith:No, I don't necessarily do athletic shoes. They're generally dress shoes, casual shoes, all sorts of different things. Today I'm wearing hey Dudes. I know we're probably not supposed to talk about brands, but super comfy.
Alisha Coakley:Those are super chill compared to some of the other ones that I've seen.
Alan Smith:That's as casual as it gets with me. I have a lot of dress boots, dress shoes. I have shoes from Italy and from Spain and yeah, I like shoes. Which I just started my wife and I owned a shoe store and so that just kind of created an obsession. I and I just I got it, I got it, I love it.
Alisha Coakley:Now here's a morbid question, but have you picked out your shoes for your funeral, like, does everyone know which shoes you need to be buried in? Because I would be very upset if they buried me in like something that wasn't my super favorite.
Alan Smith:I'm thinking, if I'm going to be in the coffin, they should just leave me without shoes so my toes have room to wiggle, just go. Okay, I don't know. No, I really haven't thought about that. I think about so I'm involved in a couple of nonprofits and we do galas each year, and so I always plan for that. You know, what shoes should I be wearing, what's the outfit, so my wife and I can coordinate and do all of those things.
Alisha Coakley:Well, now you have something to think about.
Alan Smith:Great, okay, I guess I'll have to think of the shoes that will be there for.
Alisha Coakley:Really. I mean, when you step into heaven, it's got to be your best, right. So that's just.
Scott Brandley:I don't think you can take it with you, though I don't. I think the shoes have to stay.
Alisha Coakley:I think if they're fashionable enough, heavenly father will like approve.
Alan Smith:Well, I think, like approve. Well, I think he'll let him go. He'll let him. Yeah, I think I'm taking that out because I'm pretty sure we're we're in. Whatever we were thinking about. I don't know choose our clothes in heaven, I don't know. I mean, what's gonna look good with a white robe?
Alisha Coakley:I would hope not, I mean I know in the temple, like it's in the whites, but we still have a little bit of personality, like we still get to like, pick, like well, maybe not you guys. You guys don't have as much, do you.
Alan Smith:I guess we'll see One of those albino alligator Is that a thing? One of the one of the many mysteries that we'll have to wait to find out.
Alisha Coakley:I like that. I don't know if you can wear, I don't know Cause the alligator. I don't know if we're allowed to have. You know, maybe faux alligator white, albino faux alligator?
Alan Smith:Well, I don't know, because most of my shoes are leather. So we digress, yeah, we, we digress. Just one of the many things to think about.
Alisha Coakley:There's going to be a lot, of, a lot of thought provoking questions and comments, I think, in this episode.
Alan Smith:So tune in, grab a notebook, folks, and yeah, you've been hanging on to and you don't know what to do with.
Alisha Coakley:Exactly.
Scott Brandley:Oh man. Awesome, we got some deep thoughts already Adam and Eve's last name. What shoes Alan's going to wear when he does? Are they going to be?
Alan Smith:leather, are they not?
Scott Brandley:going to be leather.
Alan Smith:Lots of interesting things. There you go. I love it Cool. So what else do you want to know?
Scott Brandley:Speaking of interesting things. You're on here because you have a story to share, right?
Alan Smith:I probably have a lot of stories to share. I that's one of the things that I love, one of the I met Alisha through our writing world, so I love writing. I write fiction and non-fiction. I also do keynote speeches, and so a part of that is that you always have a story to tell. You always have something to share that brings around a point or something that teaches.
Alan Smith:Probably a big part of my story is starting let's we can go way back. Okay, my son passed away of SIDS, and my wife and I got involved in an amazing organization with people who took really, really good care of us, and so that gave me the opportunity to meet some amazing people that changed my path. I think that's probably the biggest part of my story is I like to teach people about our path and about the things that guide us along our path. I really believe that God has our best interests in mind and that he directs us in the things that we do, and so when we have opportunities for growth and for change, I think it's really important that we follow those. So this was one of those opportunities.
Alan Smith:We didn't get to choose. You know that our son passed away, of course, but we I really believe that we get to choose how we, how we react to things in our life and how we manage that. So we chose to get involved and help other people and manage and work with this organization that cares for families and people, and so I've spent 25 years talking about grief and how we manage that in our life and, you know, one of the interesting things about that is that we have noticed that people have a much better ability to manage grief and to work through those hard things in life when they have some sort of a spiritual foundation.
Alisha Coakley:Right.
Alan Smith:Whether it's a belief in God, whether it's a belief in the afterlife. Those things make a big difference in people's ability to cope and to move forward and to continue to be productive in their life, and so it makes a big difference for them to be able to continue and make good choices in their life, because I think so often it's really hard to deal with difficult things. So we take that and maybe we flash forward a little bit. We had more kids and they are amazing and we absolutely love them and they've taught us a ton of things like nothing you plan really goes the way you think.
Alisha Coakley:Things like nothing you plan really goes the way you think.
Alan Smith:Yeah, I mean that that just feels like my whole life. I often say that life is just basically a lack of better options and that's what we continue to work with. We just work with what we've got. We've spent just so years and years of working with people and that's created a lot of thought processes in my life. Um and about seven ish years ago, I ran into this guy at a men's retreat and his name is vinny. I think you might have met him I think you might've met him.
Alisha Coakley:I think we might've met him once or twice, yeah.
Alan Smith:If you've been listening to the podcast here you've you've listened to Vinny and you've listened to Lynn, who is his writing partner.
Alan Smith:Well before Lynn was me, I was talking to Vinny on the porch of our friend's ranch down in Southern Utah and he shared with me this experience of dying and coming back and he shared with me the whole thing and all of these just amazing insights and all of that, and so that kind of lit a fire under me. That kind of lit a fire under me and it was the first time, I think, in my entire life that I just really had this amazing confirmation of uh, from the spirit that God exists and that there's somewhere we go after, and it just created this amazing piece in my life.
Alan Smith:And so I proceeded to stand behind vinnie with what I'm going to call a proverbial cattle prod and and work on him and chase him and say, okay, what are we doing to get your book out? What are we doing to make sure that this story is told to everyone, because it's so inspiring and it's so amazing and gives us such an opportunity to continue and grow our relationship with God? And so, a couple of years down the road, he ran into Lynn at another writing retreat, at this ranch that is owned by Richard Paul Evans. So we ended up as the three amigos. For the last, I'm thinking, five years, we've met pretty much once a week to work on different aspects of the book, the message, all of those things. And so I'm a part of that organization as a nonprofit and it's really amazing to be able to share with people this message of inspiration, this message that you know it teaches us to be more authentic, to be ourselves, to just be in this great place.
Alan Smith:Mm-hmm, during this process, it's during this last seven years, I've had just an adventure of self reflection, understanding who I am better than I've ever felt or understood myself before. So that's, that's kind of where it it, it it started Um. So where I'm at now, I have my own website and my own podcast on the way. Um. I'm on the podcast with Lynn and Vinny, the the living God's light podcast, um, and we've released several episodes of that, just talking about the different principles. So my podcast is called the Soul Path. S-o-l-e for shoes.
Alisha Coakley:Of course I love it.
Alan Smith:It's all about the path that we're on. It's all about where we're stepping Awesome and so I really like to talk to people about where are you at on your path, where are you at on your journey, and what is it that brings you peace? What is it that you're learning? What is it that helps you understand who you are? A big part of that is understanding the, the stories that create this. You know we talk about storytelling. I can tell you stories about my growing up. I can tell you stories about high school and my amazing English teacher who taught me vocabulary, but, and, and all of those stories that I've compiled around myself. I, what I, what I tell everybody is that those stories create our context in life, and we put that context on a set of lenses, and those lenses are what we look through. I call them your context lenses. I have a book that I'm writing and will be released this fall. That is all about the context that we put on our lenses.
Scott Brandley:I love that.
Alan Smith:Identify that, because I think that's the biggest piece. I feel like we live in a space where we create meaning and create context constantly about the experiences in our life, and the reality is that's not what really happened. What really happened is pretty simple, so I am going to tell you a story that illustrates this. My wife and I, we spend a lot of time with family because I think that's kind of important. We'll probably spend the eternities with them.
Scott Brandley:One of those things right, right.
Alan Smith:So we do a family dinner every six months and it's usually at my brother-in-law's house. This particular time it was at our house and we invited a friend over and she brought cookies, because it's always a potluck. So she brought cookies. Well, the cookies were a little overdone, so she brought them anyway and she tucked them around behind something so that everyone would maybe not notice them. And when it came time for dessert, we pulled out all of the desserts and everything was out on the counter and the worst happened Somebody picked up a cookie and yelled burnt cookies, burnt cookies.
Alan Smith:And then it was like a clarion call through the house bird cookies, bird cookies. It's coming from all the corners and it's echoing and it probably wasn't that bad. But you know, our memories kind of change a little over time. But it felt like that and I could see her just kind of shrinking into the couch and what she didn't realize is that my wife's family is a little odd. Love them all. If you're listening, I still love you. They love burnt things. So what was happening is everybody had a cookie and they were smiling and they were eating the cookies. Okay, so this family loves burnt things the grandma used to do really well done roasts. The steaks are what I call shoe leather.
Alisha Coakley:They like really crispy, not the kind you wear exactly well done and burnt cookies.
Alan Smith:What she thought was going to be a disaster and was embarrassed about and was in a space of distress, was the best thing that could have happened for my wife's family, because they were delighted. So the moral behind that story is that what we think isn't necessarily the reality. They like, don't like them. They loved them. They were thrilled. They thought somebody actually cooked them, overcooked them, just for them, just to make everything wonderful for them and so that they could have a beautiful, delicious, well-done cookie. So we all do this in our lives. We create stories, we have been given stories. People give us labels. They tell us things about ourselves. They tell us that we're smarter, that we're not smart.
Alan Smith:They tell us that we're skinny or that we're fat. They create all these labels and all of those things go on the inside of our lenses and over our lifetime. I'm 57. I have 57 years of context covering those lenses and it makes it really hard to see. It makes it really difficult for us to see what's real in our life. It makes it really difficult for us to see what's real in our life and what is actually happening versus what everyone has told us and the bullying or whatever those things are. So once we start to learn that there's a difference, we can separate the two.
Alan Smith:So what I tell everybody is each story that you identify and under uncover and clear as you clear it off the lens, it becomes part of the framework and so as we, as we step into that, we can continue to clear things. We can move them aside. We can, you know, take them off the front and move them along, because they're still a part of our foundation or our framework. Right Created who we are at this time. You know as much as I'd like to say I wish I'd never been bullied growing up. I think that that helped me grow. It created who I am right now.
Alan Smith:Now am I going to recommend that you bully people. No, that's not a good idea. But if I look at the bullying and say, what did I learn from that? How can I move that to a place of understanding so that I can progress, so that I can see more clearly, see differently, and I think that's the biggest piece of what we need to work on in our lives is continuing to clear the lenses, clear the space, make room for the other amazing things that we get to learn and that we can take in, because if we're full and we can't see that, there are other things we can't, we can't add.
Alisha Coakley:Right.
Scott Brandley:Yeah, wow, do you know Brene Brown? I do, I love Brene Brown.
Scott Brandley:So one of the things she taught is similar to this, where she talks about the story we tell ourselves and exactly and it it's, um, it's kind of changed my life because and I think this happens to a lot of people is we don't realize, like you said, like the context lenses, or that the stories we tell ourselves aren't necessarily true. And until somebody tells you and you actually step outside of yourself and you're like, oh, okay, I see now. Right, like that's why I love the idea of the context lenses, because it allows you to step outside of yourself and look back to see what you're seeing, but from outside of yourself, so that it gives you a different perspective on your life perspective on your life.
Alan Smith:It's amazing, it's really kind of a mind shifter when you start thinking about your thoughts and thinking, okay, what is it about my thoughts? That maybe isn't quite right? Or am I right? Am I wrong? I like to tell people that we often get stories stuck in our teeth. Now, if you want to just picture this for a minute, think about this delicious steak that you've had and you eat it and you're just enjoying it and you leave and you get in the car and you're driving home and you notice there's a little piece stuck in the back and what happens? It's no longer good. We're annoyed and we what? What do you do with your tongue, Alisha, when there's something stuck?
Alan Smith:oh, I don't even use my time, I'm in there but you're driving, Alisha, you can't get in there and clean it out.
Alan Smith:Well, I do my makeup, you're gonna worry at it with your tongue, and your tongue's going to get sore and your gums are going to get really sore around the piece of steak or whatever it is. And we do the same thing with our stories. We run them over and over and over in our heads. We run them until they're raw. Our emotions are raw, our thoughts are raw, just like we've done with our tongue and our gums around the little piece of steak that's stuck in there.
Alan Smith:We do the same thing with our stories. So the idea is we have to find ways to get out of that and to move past it so that we can progress, so that we can understand self, because this is all about coming back here to who we are and understanding that we are amazing. God didn't make a mistake when he made us.
Alan Smith:He didn't give us the things that we have and that we are because we're a mistake. Life is a classroom you probably heard that from Vinny Because when we go to the other side, there's two things we take with us what we learned and who we go to the other side. There's two things we take with us what we learned and who we connected to the family, the friends, the loved ones, all of those things. So the idea is, let's figure that part out. Let's figure out what makes the most sense for us.
Scott Brandley:And the only way we can do that is by understanding here.
Alan Smith:We can't move forward, we can't be in a better space mentally and emotionally, until we understand this. Once we understand this, it's amazing what happens. We become so much closer to God, we become so much closer to the spirit and listening to the promptings and the things that come to us, because you just don't get those things unless you understand this.
Scott Brandley:So when you say this, are you talking about me as a person, or understand my thoughts, my heart, my feelings? What exactly are you referring to?
Alan Smith:They're all the same thing, aren't they? I am my thoughts, or I'm not my thoughts, but they're still running through me. I think it's really.
Alan Smith:I'm talking about the self, the whole soul, the whole piece of who we are, or all of the pieces of who we are Right and being in a space of peace. Right and being in a space of peace. Yeah, I can't. There are things in life that I can't change, that I can't fix, that I didn't get to choose, but yet I can understand them better. And when I understand them better, I can be at peace around them. True, my son passed away. I'm not happy about that, but I'm at peace with it.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah.
Alan Smith:After almost 28 years I hope to be. I hope I'm in a good space around that and I look forward to the time that I get to be on the other side and hang out with him and he can tell me all the things that he laughed at, that I over my lifetime, that he got to see.
Scott Brandley:Right.
Alisha Coakley:So I think, well, I had a couple of different thoughts. You know I didn't want to interrupt you when you're um, you know, speaking originally, but I might go back just a little bit, because one of the first things I thought of is, um, just how many different, I don't know. For me personally, I feel like there are um a small handful of times in my life that really were pivotal points in me, kind of shedding a layer of who I thought I was and discovering, like that true authenticity within myself, like okay and I and I. I've always cringed whenever someone's like oh, I have to find myself, I'm like. I don't think you have to find yourself. I think you have to remember who you've always been. Like we, we already existed before we came to this life. Like we already had a purpose, then we had strengths, then we had I believe we had our personalities. Then you know what I mean, like and I.
Alisha Coakley:So I don't think it's about, like going on this journey to find yourself. It's to to maybe more so just remember, like who we really really are, but also knowing that our heavenly father didn't want us to just stay that right Like he, like at our core. That's the foundation, those are our anchor points, right, those are the, the framework, the things that were in the pre-existence were in the framework, and then he wants us to continue to add to it. So, um, I, I imagine, I mean, and I don't know, just for our listeners it's not like you when you went to this men's retreat, that wasn't the first time that you've had an experience with God. Like you, you had your, you know, you went to church and you did your things beforehand, right. So, like you had pieces of your, your testimony of God and who he was and everything like that beforehand.
Alisha Coakley:But I would imagine that in losing your son, that was probably one really big pivotal point in discovering, like through memory and through progression, right, who, who is Alan. So can you tell me, I guess, um, do you have other pivotal points that you can think of? That kind of helped you discover, like an another piece of who Henley father needs you to be and wants you to be?
Alan Smith:So I have had lots of those you know we talk about. I call them origin stories because they're they're the origin of of who we become and and all of the things that we've had to deal with. I can go all the way back to when I was a 12 year old deacon and it was all about church ball.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah.
Alan Smith:One of the leaders came in with a clipboard to talk about basketball. Now, I was short I'm still short and he took the roster and he passed it around the room and he walked up to each boy and when he came to me he bypassed me and went to the other kids and didn't include me, and so that created a layer. I'm going to say it put something on my lenses that said, um, unwanted, um, possibly, you know, there were some other things I don't remember, but I just, I just remember feeling, you know, left out, um, and I went home and I talked to my mom and she says you know, you're, you probably aren't going to be very good at basketball anyway. Okay, mom, thanks for being, you know, keeping it real, but it doesn't matter, because you do all these other things that are amazing and that heavenly father sees that you have talent for. So let's find some things that you have talents for and let's put you in those things, let's get you involved in those, um. And so my mother, being very wise and insightful, you know, directed me in that.
Alan Smith:In that timeframe you know other origin stories that I can share is the first time I went to the temple and it just happened to be with the guy that was the bully and he was going through the first time, and there's a certain point where you get to stand and participate in a prayer, and they mentioned that if there's any hard feelings, that some, that you should step out. And so in that moment I had this opportunity to decide okay, am I gonna? Am I gonna step out, or am I gonna just let it go? And I at that moment, you know, you're in a very spiritually, um, vulnerable, spiritually touched place. I don't know what to say charged, maybe charged, I don't know what to say Charged, maybe Charged, I don't know what the word is there. And so I decided I'm staying, I'm not letting this change my opportunity. And so I stayed and I just said I'm good letting it go.
Alan Smith:And in I'm going to say it's been 30 plus years since then. I've never once had an angry feeling towards this person again. Wow. And I'm going to say that's what we call the atonement, right, that's the space of letting go and allowing somebody else to take that burden. Because that's what we're taught is that Christ took that on himself. And so I let it go, and I'm really glad that I did, because a few years later, that person passed away and I could easily step into that space of loving the family and caring for them and saying I'm sorry and not being angry about it. Wow, now does everybody get that opportunity? No, but can we look for those opportunities in our lives to let go of the anger and have a better understanding of what God, heavenly Father, has in store for us, the things that he would like for us to have to move forward? I think we all have those things.
Scott Brandley:I was going to say I mean, we're kind of using your life as the guinea pig for the show. But I love that we're talking about this because I think it's really important that people step back from their lives and look at it from a different angle on a regular basis. This is something that people should be doing almost daily, really just to reflect. I think maybe that's where journaling can can be helpful. Um, and even I like going on walks personally that's how kind of how I do it but I love the idea of the con, having the context and really thinking about why things have happened in your life and and putting some some context behind every one of these events that happens, so that you can have a different perspective. Mm-hmm.
Alan Smith:So if we fast forward a little bit, Alisha used the word shed, which is one of my favorite concepts. With people, I started studying shamanism, which is an amazing philosophy, and it's not a specific thing that you know is going to be. You know you're going to gather for.
Alisha Coakley:Right.
Alan Smith:We all do gather. Yeah, it's not. It's not an organized, you know specific religion or anything like that, but there's these amazing philosophies, and shedding is one of the first things that I learned in shamanism. There are archetypes, and the very first archetype that we talked about was serpent energy. And if you've ever looked at a snake, in order for it to grow, it has to shed its outer skin.
Alan Smith:And it's not an easy process. It's something that if you've ever watched the snake, it has to rub against rough rocks and get that skin good and loose before it can slide out and have that peel away so it can experience that growth. We, as people, need to do the same thing. We rub against rough rocks in our life. We rub against hard things and we're able to shed the things that don't serve us, that don't serve our highest and best good.
Alan Smith:You know, sometimes we call that repentance in the church, because those are things that maybe were not good things that we were involved in, but there are still even good things that aren't great, things that we can move toward and that we can let go of. I have a tendency to collect causes and projects and things that I love to do, because I love taking care of people, I love helping, I love working with people, and so sometimes I get myself into too many things, and so it could be as simple as saying I don't need to pick up this project. It could be as simple as saying I've gone as far as I can with this project or this this thing, and setting it aside and letting it and letting it be in, just walking away and saying I've learned from that. I always I always say that shedding needs to be done with gratitude and thanking, and thanking Heavenly Father for the things that we have been given and the things that we learned as a part of that experience.
Alisha Coakley:I really love that you said that needs to be done with gratitude, because that's one of the things that that I think a lot of people, especially with TikTok and Facebook reels and all of the motivational videos, I think so many people, especially the younger ones, they have it so misguided where they're like get angry and don't let that have control of your life anymore and you can use anger and aggression and all that kind of stuff to you know, heal from trauma, I guess in some way, or to shed weight physically or emotionally or mentally or spiritually or whatever else. Like you can do it that way. But I just I find that me personally, like, for example, um, I'm sure anyone who watches this show they've probably noticed a little bit of change in the way that I look from the time that we started two years ago to the time that you know we're here now where I have shed 80 pounds and I remember in the beginning of this process I had yo-yo dieted for years. You know what I mean I had I had yo-yo dieted for years. You know what I mean, like up and down the scales and personal trainers and and taking these pills and doing I don't know like everything that you can think of Right and and.
Alisha Coakley:Every single time I've done that, I've always done it with this sense of like, oh, like I'm just so disgusting. You know, like I can't believe I let myself get so overweight and I can't believe I did this and and just in this, like this space of I need to get away from the heavier me, I need to look a certain way, I need to, um, I would say I wanted to be healthy, but really I just, I just wanted to be thin. You know, like it was a total vanity thing, I guess, and, um, and and. Then I started thinking about all of the things that that version of me carried me through. You know, like my heavier self was able to help me heal through childhood sexual abuse. My heavier self was there to be a stay at home mom with my kids when she got diagnosed with leukemia.
Alisha Coakley:My heavier self was someone who, because she felt so, um, really just kind of disgusting and just not important enough and not valued enough. I really loved doing things for other people that could show them how beautiful they were. You know, like I would give free makeovers or I would, um, sit for hours and talk to, like the young women about their lives and their dreams and and their passions. You know I I loved writing and I loved doing things that would like bring joy to other people. Whenever we did birthday parties or big holiday celebrations, I loved going all out and like doing whatever I could to bring smiles to people's faces.
Alisha Coakley:And it's because that heavier self was experiencing so much of a hole in her own heart that I kept trying to fill it by making sure nobody else had holes in their hearts. And so I think about that and I think you know what I have to love her too, like I. I it was rough and I don't want to go back to being heavier. And now my, my whole attitude has shifted, where it's not so much about how I look.
Alisha Coakley:It is more about being respectful of my body and making sure that I'm starting to put the things in it that my Heavenly Father wants me to have, so that I can keep going, so that I can keep filling holes in hearts, so that I can be able to be here longer with my family and with my friends and to do more of my purpose.
Alisha Coakley:Be able to be here longer with my family and with my friends and to do more of my purpose, and so whenever I do have those moments of shedding, you know, more weight or whatever it is um, doing it in a, in a sense of gratitude for who I was and what I was able to handle, feels so much more true than being like, oh, thank goodness, I finally lost that, that next pound, or you know what I mean Like I can still be happy and celebrate but also I don't have to put so much negativity into it and I really love that. So I love that. It's like it's not, it's not a negative thing to shed right, it's a. It's a. It's doing it with love, it's doing it with gratitude, it's doing it with um, a sense of knowing that you've outgrown literally that older version of yourself and then you can move forward to a newer version. I. That's just so beautiful.
Alan Smith:I love the idea of shedding and the gratitude that comes with it is amazing. I'm going to just quickly run through the other some of the other archetypes, because I think they're pretty fascinating and they work within that same context pardon my pardon, my pun there of how we live our lives. So we start with serpent energy and understanding that we shed the things that don't serve us, and we do that with gratitude. The next step in that again, in understanding who we are is taking back our power and understanding that we get to make the decisions for ourselves. We came with free agency. We came with the ability to choose for ourselves and once we know who we are and who we want to be, making those choices is amazing and owning that power. Heavenly Father created these powerful beings that we are so that we could accomplish those things.
Alan Smith:The next is, and that's called jaguar energy.
Alan Smith:The next one after that is hummingbird energy A hummingbird if you've ever seen it fly, it just does amazing things aerodynamically and it really shouldn't actually be able to do any of those things. They're not built to do those things if we understand the laws of physics and all of that, but yet they do. So the hummingbird energy is all about doing the impossible. And so then we move on to eagle energy, which is about seeing the bigger picture, and these are all skills or ways that we can look at our life and look at who we are and see how to be our best self and know ourselves the best. And I and I just love that about those, those ideas and those archetypes, because they just they gave me a lot of direction, they gave me a lot of space to really look at who I am and what I wanted to accomplish with my life, and being able to do it with gratitude, without stepping on somebody else's toes, and stepping on what I call their sacred space, where they have the ability to choose for themselves.
Alisha Coakley:Wow, I love all of the imagery, you know, like I'm sitting there and I'm thinking about all of the animals that you just mentioned and I can see how they relate to those descriptions and stuff like that. That's really neat. I think it's interesting. My son, they just got back not too long ago from like a youth activity and they were having a conversation. My son and this other girl in the youth. They were having this. My son and this other girl in the in the youth. They were having this conversation, right, and he he was being we really like everybody.
Alisha Coakley:So this is, I don't think it was like a heated debate, I think it was just, you know, teens talking. So he was kind of being accused of, like, of objectifying women, right, I know I was like what, where's, what are you guys talking about? You guys are, you know, little kids like I don't know, don't have these conversations. But anyway, he was, he was kind of being accused of objectifying women and he was like, well, you know, he's like how is it? For example, you know they were talking about future spouses and he, of course, you know, on his list of ideals is someone that he's attracted to. That's, that's the way that he had phrased it Right. And so this young girl, she was just like well, that's objectifying women. And I'm like I don't think that it's wrong to want to be attracted to, so it doesn't mean that they have to look a certain way or be a certain way, it's just you just want that attraction, you know. And so when she listed off her qualities, she had things on there like she wants them to be tall and she wants them to be this and, and so he's like well, how is that not objectifying anyway? So they got into this kind of like whatever discussion and um, and my son, everything that he said was being counteracted and it just it was like not going anywhere.
Alisha Coakley:And one of the leaders was like let's just turn the music up, you know. And and I talked to my son and I said, you know, I said I think the easiest way to, when you get to a point in a conversation like that, the easiest way to move forward is just to let someone know. That's really interesting that you have decided to assign that particular belief to that situation. It's interesting that you have chosen to take that stand, that you have chosen to believe that this is what this means or that means or whatever else you know, because I really do think it comes down to a lot of that and it goes back to your context lenses. Right, it's like it's interesting that you're telling yourself that story.
Alisha Coakley:Like you said, let people have their space where they can have their beliefs, they can have what's important to them, they can decide what the story means to them. That's totally fine, but we don't have to try to change their opinion of what it means for us, right? Like we don't have to try to force them to see things the way that we see things. We can have that piece seeing things in a broader perspective, you know, like we can have, we can have that piece by clearing our own lenses and by saying you know, this is a bad thing, but it's not all bad. There's a lot of good that's come from it.
Alisha Coakley:This was a hard thing, but it wasn't all hard. There was a lot of really thing like really easy things that came because of it too. You know, um, when you mentioned grief, right, like I know, when my brother passed all of a sudden, it was very easy for me to say no to people to doing it, to doing extra right there was. It was not hard at all. I didn't feel guilty. I just nope, I can't do that. I knew that I couldn't handle that kind of stuff. Um, it was very easy for me to be really, really open about how much I loved people. It was very easy for me to express my love towards, towards my family and towards my friends and things like that. Um, it was very easy for me that. Um, it was very easy for me to find gratitude in the smallest things, you know.
Alan Smith:And so I think that sometimes, when we're telling ourselves this story and we're telling us our, we're telling ourselves that it's all good or it's all bad we miss out on so many more opportunities to gain another perspective that can really elevate us and that can help us to have more of that peace that comes from knowing who you really are you know, I think it's really interesting, you know, as you're talking about the discussion between your, your son and his friend, um, I love to look at that and say, okay, I wonder what her story was and I wonder you know what her context was and where did she learn that and why does she think that that's what was happening when she was basically doing?
Alisha Coakley:the same thing.
Alan Smith:That's a different way. Instead of staying attracted, she was talking about the specific characteristics that she was attracted to. I love to leave people with you know some skills around managing this, and so one of the things that I always ask people to you know put in their head and to ask themselves is am I stuck in the story? Am I stuck in a story, you know? And what is that story and what is real, what is actually happening? Because, again, super simple, the cookies were burnt. Yep, there's not a lot to change to really deal with there, other than the cookies were burnt. That's what really happened. Everything else is part of the story. Yeah, everything else is all about somebody else's idea of what was good and what was bad, based on their context and their experience and all of the things.
Scott Brandley:Well, something interesting about context and about a story is the whole idea of you learning about shamanism as a member of the church. In my mind, the story I'm telling myself is that seems kind of you know, on the fringe of you know what might be acceptable. But that's the story, that's my context. So I'm interested to you know how did you get into that and what's you know like, because now that you've explained some of it to me, it sounds awesome.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah.
Scott Brandley:It sounds like I could add that to my knowledge, to you know, and be a better person because of it. Maybe sometimes we stop ourselves from progressing because of certain context.
Alisha Coakley:Right.
Alan Smith:Agreed. I really think that, again, we're here to learn, we're here to experience, we're here in a classroom to see how many things we can learn and what we can do to take that knowledge back with us when we reach the end of our life. Because I always say to everybody ain't none of us getting out of it? We're all going to end up back on that other side. So what do we get to take with us?
Alan Smith:So, any tool that we can find that's going to bring us to a place of peace, that's going to bring us to a place of understanding, that's going to create a space where we can follow Christ's commandment in the New Testament to love God and to love our neighbor as ourselves. There's actually three commandments there, you know, and so I think that it's really important for us to use every tool in our belt, everything that comes up that we can use to bring us to a place of love. At the end of the day, we can probably narrow it all down to that. What are we doing to love ourselves and to love everyone around us, including God, so that we can be our best, who we were destined to be?
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, yeah. I've always said any anytime that I'm learning something new. I like to have the idea in the back of my head of how does this increase my testimony that God is the ultimate creator? You know, like, where am I going to take this and fit this into that huge puzzle that I'm working on over here? That just points to more and more evidence that God is real, that he loves us, that he has a plan for us, that he has created all of this for our benefit.
Alisha Coakley:You know, no matter what it is good, bad or otherwise, if it's, you know, scientific stuff, if it's spiritual stuff, I love constantly asking myself where can this fit in that puzzle that is helping me to really figure out who God is and who I am? You know to him, right, like who? Who am I supposed to be for him and who am I supposed to be for me, and why would he love me so much that he would give me all of this stuff? You know, so I I think we had another guest. We had daniel adams on, who is also a shaman, and he did take us to the fringe in this episode. Scott and I were like our eyeballs got really big during some parts, but it was, we may or may not have edited some of that out a little bit.
Alisha Coakley:A little bit did, with his permission, just because it was a little more geared towards adults and we wanted to make sure that it was, you know, all ages friendly and stuff and so um.
Alisha Coakley:But but also his perspective from having gone to the fringe and in being a shaman and in having these experiences, that kind of walked him down a very different path than what we typically see, has has really helped him to be very secure in himself and in his marriage and in his role as a husband and a father.
Alisha Coakley:It's helped him to be able to open up and speak to people who otherwise probably would not have spoken to him. You know, like he, he has been able to build these relationships and friendships and be a light to others who maybe don't really understand the whole plan and understand who God really is. And and so I love that, in taking that classroom mentality and in letting the things that we experience be things that will bring not only us closer to our heavenly father but will help others to be able to trust us with those conversations and trust us with sharing that information with them, I just think it spreads light right, and that's like the most important thing is to just make sure that you're constantly lighting the world with good and love and and joy and bringing people as close as you can to to our heavenly father, you know.
Scott Brandley:So I think it's awesome, and you do it so fashionably, from head to toe well, that's an interesting thought about context and filters, because a lot of stuff that we do take in is bad or negative. Did you have any thoughts on that?
Alan Smith:I really think that we're going to be exposed to things no matter what we do, because we're out in society where we listen to the radio, we walk by a billboard, we read books, that, uh, and all of a sudden there's something there that you maybe you didn't expect, so it's, it's constantly being thrown at us. So again, it's about, uh, that creating that space of what's real and what is the? What is the story? So, if I have my, if I, if I have my thinkers on, and I'm really looking at all of those things, I can say, oh yeah, I learned I need to be a little more discriminating in the books that I choose. I need to be careful about which radio station that I choose to listen to.
Alan Smith:You know, we can definitely see that things aren't necessarily where we would like them to be and make a shift you know, take a different path, choose a different space for whatever those things are, because, again, it's about choice and I think that I learned a long time ago that, um, we don't necessarily make the best choices when we are in an environment that um barrages us with things that like, like what you talked about, um, so we have to change the environment. I'm not superhuman, so we have to change the environment. I, I'm not superhuman, I I'm not gonna necessarily be good at making good choices if I'm in a room of bad choices.
Alan Smith:So I have to choose how to do that. So, uh, like Alisha was talking earlier about her weight, um, if I'm really focused on health, about her weight, if I'm really focused on health, I shouldn't walk down the candy aisle at the grocery store. And it's a simple choice. And we've been taught most of our life that if we're going to make choices, we should make those choices ahead of time. So if I know that I'm going to the grocery store, I'm going to choose ahead of time not to go down the candy aisle, yeah, and so I think that it works the same way. If we know that a certain station is going to play music that maybe doesn't align with who we want to be and how we want to be attuned, then we choose a different channel and it's again it's back choice. It's about our free will to choose and we get to do that. We get to choose a lot. So if we do that, it will turn out well.
Alan Smith:And it takes practice about you guys, but it took a long time for me to get good at those things and sometimes I'm not perfect at it. You throw, you throw a little Debbie zebra roll at me. I am every time. No, I just don't buy them. There you go, the whole box.
Alisha Coakley:Wow, wow, I, really, I. I feel like I just need to go through. I joke all the time that I'm going to make bumper stickers, I'm going to start selling them for, with everyone's cool quotes and their analogies and everything like that, um, this full of just amazing stories and analogies a burnt cookie, like I. Just I can see it now. Just have like a burnt cookie, you know, as a bumper sticker, that's it. And everyone will be like what does that have to do with anything? And it'd be like oh, let me tell you, let me tell you a story.
Alisha Coakley:But this has been just a really, really great episode, very uplifting, very eyeopening. Dang Alan, this has been so great I my cheeks hurt a little bit from smiling. That's always a good indicator of a good show. But I want to ask you so I guess in your journey you know 50 something years so far and going through life and experiencing lots of different uh opportunities to view something as a certain way, what kind of message would you leave to our listeners today on, like, how can they really get get their context lenses cleared in such a way that helps them to see who they are more? You know what's some of those like first steps that they would take.
Alan Smith:I think the first step is understanding that there's a difference you know, understanding that you are not your story. You are loved and you were sent here for a reason. The story is part of the learning. So the way we learn is looking at it and saying first of all, am I stuck in my story and understanding how to move forward and learn from the story? And the learning is what can I learn? What can I learn from this that will help me be a better person?
Alan Smith:to help me be the best self that I can be, that I can move forward and be closer to God and my goal, my end goal of being with my family and with him.
Alisha Coakley:All right, and I'm going to say go check out Alan's podcast, both the living God's light and what and soul? What was it called?
Alan Smith:So the website is the soul path S O L E, because if you do it the other way, you're never going to find me. My Instagram is crazy shoe guy, imagine that and there are tons of shoes there and I usually try to put a thought with the shoes about where I've been, what I'm learning, what I've experienced, in hopes that maybe it'll prompt something for someone that they can move forward in their own life, that they can feel better about themselves, because everybody deserves that. Everybody deserves to be loved and know that they're loved and understand that they have so much, just infinite amount of potential to be amazing.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, awesome.
Scott Brandley:Yeah, this has been a great podcast, ellenen. Um, looking looking forward to your book. When that comes out, we'll have to have you back on the show so you can share some more about that when I've got a lot of writing to do, yeah and this is my second book?
Alan Smith:I have an. I have another one called uh, the undertaker's apprentice. That is fiction that I'm hoping to be out next year.
Alisha Coakley:Awesome, that's exciting. And I have to say, I heard the pitch for that book. I mean, I'm an adult woman but I'm going to be reading that book. Like I know, it's probably geared towards more like YA, right, like it's more like a YA type of genre, but it sounds so good.
Alan Smith:So, and we'll leave that as a teaser, so they can come, come hunt me down.
Alisha Coakley:Ooh, there you go, Awesome. Oh well, thank you again, alan, for coming on here today, for sharing some of your light with us and your stories with us and your amazing analogies with us and your personality. I just loved it so much. Um, listeners, definitely go check out. Uh, vinny, alan Lynn, uh, and I can't remember you have a fourth. What's her name?
Alan Smith:Lindsay.
Alisha Coakley:Lindsay. Lindsay, that's right. Go check out their podcast, living God's light, Um, and then check out Alan's podcast as well the sole path. The soul path podcast. And then check out Alan's podcast as well the Sole Path.
Alan Smith:The Soul Path podcast. I have not released anything yet, but-.
Alisha Coakley:Well, by the time this is aired, you probably will. We'll see we might get there, and that's thesolepath. com. Okay, gotcha, but most importantly, guys go share this episode with others. I think that there are just so many great nuggets all throughout that could really get people thinking. I'd love to hear your comments and what you think Adam and Eve's first name or last name was. Do you agree? Was it Smith?
Scott Brandley:And what kind of shoes Alan's going to wear when he dies.
Alisha Coakley:Exactly, or should he go barefoot? I mean, I don't know, I don't know. I'm a barefoot kind of person, so I, I will be there. I'm not going to go without my hoops, though. Those are coming with me. It's in my contract. Heavenly father already knows.
Scott Brandley:Oh, this has been awesome, cause I one thing. One reason I love this podcast is is because it just gets you outside of yourself so you can look back. We've got to be able to do that on a regular basis if we want to grow, and I love the insights that you provided. So thank you.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, my pleasure. Yeah, guys, and remember, if you have a story to share, this podcast, I have to give a nod to Scott because he is the one that had this idea. Podcast I, I, just I have to give a nod to Scott because he is the one that had this idea. We're here to represent every member of the church wherever your journey is. You don't have to be apostle status, you don't. You know what I mean. Like, we're all on our own paths, we're all learning and growing. We're all building our testimonies in some way.
Alisha Coakley:So if you have a story to share, something that can instill faith, invite growth and inspire others, we would love to hear your story. We would love to hear where you're at on your journey, where you've been, what you've learned, how you've drawn closer to uh, to our heavenly father, um, how you've utilized the atonement. Those are the things that really, really help to keep everybody connected on this crazy journey that we call life, and so we want to hear from you. So please, please, please, head over to latterdaylightscom. You can fill the form out at the bottom of the page or you can email us at latterdaylights at gmailcom. You can comment here. We would love to hear your comments, let us know what your favorite part of Alan's story was and make sure that you guys do that five second missionary work. Click that share button. We would love, love, love to make sure that Alan's podcast is out there for for everybody to hear and enjoy.
Scott Brandley:Yep, and we're glad that you tuned in this week and stay tuned for next week when we share another story on Latter-day Lights. Until then, take care.
Alisha Coakley:See you, see you later.
Alan Smith:Thanks everybody.
