Nothing to Wait For

There are some experiences that naturally evolve over time. The meeting with our true self and the awakening to a larger life is not one of those experiences. It is here, right now, already, and always. It requires no preparation, no preliminaries, no putting off until another day. What we are seeking is there at the beginning – complete, finished, whole.

Transcript

Nothing to Wait For

There are some experiences that naturally evolve over time. The meeting with our true self and the awakening to a larger life is not one of those experiences. It is here, right now, already, and always. It requires no preparation, no preliminaries, no putting off until another day. What we are seeking is there at the beginning – complete, finished, whole.

Of course, it’s our learned habit to put things off to another day. It is no different with awakening to our inner self. We put that off as well, wrongly thinking it is developmental or a result of progressive self-improvement. That is not a belief that’s easy to change. It’s a tenacious belief that obscures our deeper life and larger possibilities.

Consider a moment when you had a glimpse of awakening, of flow – an immersion in nature, the oneness of intimacy, the astonishment and wonder of beauty and art, the absorption in dance or music. Suddenly and spontaneously you experienced an easeful and expansive sense of self. Did this require any preparation? Did you previously plan this glimpse of awakening, or schedule it.

When this opening occurs, our personal and cognitive self stops, dissolves. This opens a gap in which our complex psychology, identities, tomorrows, fears, and anxieties soften and dissipate. The mind stills, the past is gone, the heart opens, spaciousness and freedom arise, our consciousness shifts, and we awaken to a natural and true self that has no name and no identity. We touch the awakened joy of who we truly are. We experience it. We live it. Right here, right now. Unfortunately, most often we are unaware that what we label as a happy and pleasurable experience was actually a profound taste of the ever-present awakened state of our inner self.

A metaphor can help us here. What happens when you try to look though an aquarium that is filled with silt. To the extent that you can see through the silty water to the other side what you see will be clouded, unclear, obscured. We say the water is dirty, unclear. When the silt settles, we can see clearly through the water. We say the water is now clear. But was the water ever unclear? Did the water change at all? At all times the water was clear. Its clarity was simply obscured by the silt.

In much the same way our natural self and its life-enhancing qualities – the peace that surpasses understanding, happiness without a reason, natural wisdom, selfless love and compassion, and freedom from the known – are already and always present and fully complete. They await the obscuring veils of our personal self – our recurring history, habit patterns, fixed perspectives, and endless rumination – to dissipate like silt in water. That’s what takes time.

What we are waiting for is not the unfolding or evolution of our awakened self. What we are waiting for is the obscuring veils of our personal self to drop away. Who we truly are and have always been is then revealed. It is not created in time. It is not arranged by the ego. It is the grace that is always present when we let go of who we are not. It is then that we naturally experience who we truly are. The true, the good, and the beautiful.  

During one of my stays in India, I recall a student rising to ask a question of a very wise elder teacher. “Why,” he asked “can I not see my essence?” The teacher simply replied, “Just stop, be still, look, and you will see that it is there right now.”

Right now. Not tomorrow or the next day. It’s there right now. Drop the search. Drop the one who is searching. Just be. And there it is.

Silence descended in the room, as the seeker and the seeking in each of us softened and then dissolved. In the stillness of that simple, unprepared moment, our natural essence revealed itself. In this instance it required the presence and pointing of the teacher, but what we experienced was our own essence, and we can learn to reveal that on our own.

However, our small fictional self is a strong habit we have developed and practiced for a lifetime. For some it will not go easily. That leaves us with the effort of learning how to let go of who we are not, to remove, or at least soften, the trance of personhood, the mistaken belief in a personal self. That might take time, but that is different than waiting for the awakened self, which is always present.

You have to want to know your true nature and its treasures with all of your being – body, mind, and spirit. You may have to touch and dwell for awhile in the frustration, needless angst, and endless cycle of human suffering until you are motivated to permanently let go of the influence and centrality of your small fabricated self. Some say that suffering is necessary to break through its hold on us. And perhaps that is true. If we can look directly at distress and suffering the vulnerable and tender heart may suddenly open. If that is you, use your suffering to end suffering. Use your suffering and distress to reveal your true self.

The most important take away from these words is where we started. There is no time to waste. There is nothing to wait for. Don’t squander your life. Don’t believe the falsehood that awakening to a larger life is an evolutionary developmental process. It is here right now. Can’t you see it?