First Cup of Coffee - July 29, 2024

A peek at my "map scrap" for NEVER THE ROSES, updates on ARCs, and endorsement quotes as another new-to-me term. Also, not taking other people so seriously and the internet as a weapon against loneliness.

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Transcript

00:02.52
jeffekennedy
Good morning, everyone. This is Jeffe Kennedy, author of Epic Fantasy Romance. I'm here with my first cup of coffee.

00:14.11
jeffekennedy
Delicious. Full confession, it's actually my second, for reasons. um Today is Monday, ah July 29th, last podcast of July. Enjoying the beautiful weather here in Santa Fe. My garden  flourishes. um um I have no good reason for being on my second cup of coffee now, except that I sat down to have my first cup of coffee and get the podcast queued up already to record, and then I just kind of went down a couple of rabbit holes.

00:49.33
jeffekennedy
sat here and drank my coffee and tootled around talking to a couple people so it was bad and wrong but also fun. um I was talking with one girl that wanted a copy of Never the Roses, a book blogger, a lovely person. I won't out her because I don't know if she wants me to. I always feel like, you know, when you send out ARC's advanced review copies or advanced reading copy to people, you know, that you should always preserve their ability to not read it, to simply vanish and do nothing. um It's just, it's part of the bargain, right?

01:34.92
jeffekennedy
So yeah, I won't out her as someone who has it. I've been sending out copies for the endorsement quotes is what they are calling it. um Yeah, endorsement quotes, which actually helps clarify the whole blurb blurb thing, right? um I think I've gone through it on here probably more than once, you know, like the difference between back cover copy ah being the description that's on the back of the book um versus blurb being the thing that's on the front of the book saying, Oh my God, this is the best book I ever read. Um, endorsement quote. So it's interesting. Um, Tor is, uh, looking for quotes for, for both the bound galley, um, for fall, like for October, uh, which will then go out for another round of reviews.

02:32.59
jeffekennedy
and then also for the final jacket. So if you are a podcast listener, which by default, if you've heard these words, you are, I suppose you could like be a friend that was told. Anyway, if you want advanced review copy, ping me, you you know where you can do it on the socials or email me through the contact form on my website and assistant Kareen will find those. ah Let me know. if if you want those either now or later. I do have a lot of people so don't feel any obligation but like this gal that I was talking to on Instagram instant messenger I mean so many modes of communication right ah I told her um she heard about the book a while back

03:23.61
jeffekennedy
um I think when I was talking about it at Apollycon and she was like, oh my god, I want to read this. So ah yeah, it's it's only if you are in that category. But of course, there would still be no onus. So let's see. um I do have a lot of things to talk about today. All appearances to the contrary. oh One more thing on Never the Roses, I'm working on what is called a map scrap. Map scrap. This is also a new to me term and I checked with a few of my other Trad Pub friends, traditionally published friends, ah and they have not heard the term map scrap either. They're putting a two-page map into the book and the map scrap is

04:16.74
jeffekennedy
like me sketching out the map and putting it, sending it to them for the real artist to create the actual map from. So I think it's like map scrap. It's like, you know, just whatever you could sketch up, Jeffe, which is good because I have done my own maps before. um In fact, let's do a little show and tell. Hang on. I kind of tripped as I started to sit back down in my chair and fell grace ungracefully into my chair. um So when I did my maps for Kensington, I drew them myself.

04:58.70
jeffekennedy
and so Sorry if you're just on audio. But if you're on video, so like these are from the 12 kingdoms books, ah please excuse my chipped nails, I'm getting them done today. ah And so I drew my own map. And that one looks pretty, pretty good, I think you could see them in the books if you're not on video. But here's another set of the maps. Mostly to give people a sense of distance. Now the problem with Never the Roses, and we have talked about that, that they need to be

05:33.09
jeffekennedy
somewhat artistic maps, because we're trying to decide if it's spoilery to say, well, is it spoilery? A lot of the book is about Oneira who is a sorceress who works through dreams. Her magic is through the dream and so there is a dreamlike feel to it and there's a geographical disconnect because of the dream. um that Yeah, I think that's fair to say.

06:07.34
jeffekennedy
um so So the map can't be too precise, right? ah So I'm going to sketch the map, but I'm also sketching a couple of the places. And so I'm going to show this on here, but otherwise this will never see the light of day because... ah So I did not and spend a lot of time drawing this because it's just a map scrap, right? But this is Oneira's house.

06:39.15
jeffekennedy
Looks pretty cool, huh? At least it gives the feel for it. So you saw it here and you saw it here only. ah Yeah, for those of you who are not on video, I'll tell you that it shows it's supposed to be her white walled house, which is on a cliff by the sea. And it shows some of her garden and it shows her tower with the dome on top and the steps leading down to the pink pebbled beach and the mountains rising behind.

07:12.94
jeffekennedy
Cool, huh? All right, so yeah, that's what I did. I got to sit in the great barber yesterday afternoon and do some drawing, which is just like a fun, fun, different thing. I mean, every once in a while I have to pause um and sort of take stock. Is that the right word? Remind myself. What a great freaking job I have, right? That this is like my job and I was, I'd forgotten because we had emailed last week about this while I was on this trip and I was very absorbed with taking care of my mom. and

07:52.10
jeffekennedy
and I am aware and I thank all of you for reminding me and my friends remind me that I have a lot on my plate and it's been very stressful um you know between taking care of my mom and taking care of David and Dealing with SFWA stuff, which is like what why do why do I volunteer to do this again? um and and you know just I don't I'm sure there's other things my friends who have cancer and life but anyway um

08:24.48
jeffekennedy
I had with emailed back and forth about this map scrap and I had said, well, how about by Monday having the idea that I might like sit by the pool and um draw and sketch and so forth, reader, this did not happen. um And by the way, I know I said I was offline last week. These are the emails that come to my phone. So it was all phone emailing because it was important. Um, so anyway, when was it yesterday morning? I think, or Friday evening? I'm sorry, Saturday evening. Who am I? I haven't even talked about my weekend. Saturday I felt really run down. I did very little all day. I didn't even go to yoga. I just, I basically sat in red all day.

09:15.73
jeffekennedy
And so I think it was at the end of the day where I was like, oh, I said I would get this map scrap done by Monday. Reader, it is not done yet, but at least I started on it. ah um Yeah, so, but isn't that great that that's like compared to some of the other things I need to get done. This was an awesome thing that I needed to get done. And it, you know, is so easy to focus on those stress points in our lives, right?

09:46.71
jeffekennedy
um And you know, and it's interesting to me that the greatest stress point in my life right now, the thing that is occupying my attention is, is CIFWA business, which is this completely optional thing, right? Uh, and in fact, some of my friends are like, why don't you resign? You should just walk away. Why are you from doing this? And it's like, uh, but that's not who I am. That's, I don't, I don't, um, Well, I don't believe in resigning when things get difficult, first of all. And I know that that happens on a lot of volunteer boards, and people feel like they're making a statement by doing that. And it's um it's not helping the organization, which is why I volunteered in the first place. So anyway, that's where I'm at with things.

10:39.80
jeffekennedy
um So it was a restorative weekend. It was good. I'm getting my feet back under me. On Friday, I began revising Reluctant Wizard from the beginning so I can finish it off. I think I'll make it on time. And none of these are the things that I had things written down to ah talk about. ah One thing I want to mention and that I'll segue back around here is that I read this great book called Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz. and i so It's paper. I was actually reading on paper by Gail Crowther and it's the subtitle is The Rebellion of Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton.

11:23.94
jeffekennedy
And I highly recommend this book. I should try to get online and do a book rec. It was fascinating about the overlap between Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. A lot of things I hadn't known. oh Both of them were amazing poets, women who broke the mold at a time when it was not easy to do so. ah They have this apparently common similarity in that they both committed suicide, ah Sylvia Plath when she was 30 and Sexton when she was 46. And the author takes great pains to note that this should not be

12:05.55
jeffekennedy
treated as a commonality, you know more that they both struggled. and But she has this one line in there where she talks about their loneliness and speculates if they had had a greater support network, oh would that have made a difference for them?

12:32.77
jeffekennedy
and had a little freeze there. I can't tell if it like freezes on your end and of course I'm not thorough enough to go back and check. of you know Would that have made a difference for their lives? I mean obviously ah she goes through in pretty exhaustive detail the mental health care they got and how truly shitty it was. oh But it struck me that line about loneliness and connection. And I think that it's very easy for us to decry the bad things about the internet today. ah to There are bad things about the internet today, and it does have this influence on our lives and our politics that that we need to fix. But I think one of the things that gets lost in that conversation is before the internet,

13:23.67
jeffekennedy
um that there was a lot of loneliness. um The odds of finding other people that you grokked, that were like you and had the same um feelings about life as you, it was so much harder before the internet. And like my best friends today, I can pretty much trace to having met them in various ways through the internet. you know, like even local bestie, Megan, I first talked to her on Twitter. on twitter So ah yeah, that sense of loneliness and you know, I love when you all send me comments that you listen along. ah It's really, it's meaningful and and it's meaningful in a way that's

14:15.77
jeffekennedy
We have to make it meaningful, right? I've heard people talking about since Kamala Harris declared and is endorsed as the next president of the United States, that people have been hope scrolling instead of doom scrolling. And I think that's a huge piece of it, that we have to be there to put hopeful, positive things on the internet, to connect with people in the way we want to. um one of the things I've been thinking about and having interesting conversations with a few people is taking what other people say seriously. um And it's not always a good thing. One very good friend of mine was talking about, and and she and I are the same this way, that when somebody tells us, and actually

15:09.73
jeffekennedy
local bestie Megan said the same thing that we take what other people say very seriously like and so a mild example of this is and yet we'll all do this if somebody says I'd love to eat at this restaurant this week ah that we will all take that as as a serious thing, and we will like engage the machine to like make this happen for this person, especially if it's someone we're close to. you know We'll be like, wow, you know could we do it Tuesday? Could we do it Wednesday? Well, but they don't take reservations with their closest. We'll start going into this whole thing, whereas the other person

15:47.52
jeffekennedy
For them, it may have been just this transient thought and they like totally forget about it. So then when we come back, like, um you know, good dogs with the bone with the casket of rum saying, I have saved us. I have finally managed to get us reservations. I'm thirsty at the restaurant you're dying to go to. And they'll be like, oh, I forgot about that. I can't make it Thursday. And we put all of this labor, emotional labor into what other people say that doesn't necessarily have any meaning. We don't need to do that. In fact, it's better for us if we don't. And that's been a big thing for me, is finding ways to not take what other people say to me so very seriously.

16:35.90
jeffekennedy
um and I was talking with someone else so you know sort of like when you begin thinking about a particular thing how it all starts coming in right and the universe is like here is this message for you. ah you know like people complaining to me about things, like how seriously do I take that? I was talking with someone else who um whose job is to take, here in Santa Fe at the state capitol, to take complaint phone calls. And there are usually people who are angry and upset about the political situation. And that's their job, is to take the calls. And I said, well, that sounds really draining. And they said, well, it's not so bad.

17:18.87
jeffekennedy
once you learn to be patient and not absorb their anger and aggression, that it's not about you. It's you're just taking down the information for them. And and so that's been really meaningful for me. It's like, well, when somebody complains, you know, it's, yeah, they're upset about the situation and maybe you're the one that they come to. but it's not about you in particular, and you don't need to absorb that as marching orders.

17:55.07
jeffekennedy
So ah yeah, that's what I've been thinking about. ah ah Also in terms of like people who are emotionally unbalanced, in particular, we have to find ways to not absorb what they're saying. And you know, Trump is a great example of this, you know, like the stuff he says, we have to take it seriously. Cause I do know people are are like, Oh, I don't think he means everything he says. And it's like, when he says, That if you vote for him this year, then you won't have to vote ever again. We should take that very seriously. And yes, he literally said that. um But you also don't have to absorb all of this emotional imbalance.

18:41.30
jeffekennedy
And it's the same with, I'm trying to decide, um I might get in trouble for this, but ah David's ex-wife for many, many years, I mean, she would send us these you know very angry messages and call me sometimes and say horrible, hateful things to me. And it took me time to realize that I didn't have to listen to that, that I don't have to read the letters. I don't have to read the angry emails that people send to me. ah You know, I can register. Oh, this person is upset about this thing. But you don't have to absorb what people want you to absorb.

19:22.81
jeffekennedy
ah I saw a great thing on the internet where somebody was complaining about being blocked, you know, and saying, well, you shouldn't block people just because, or mute people on the internet just because you don't agree with their opinion. And somebody had the the great reminder, come back to that saying, well, I'm probably messing this up now, you know, but the the comeback was, ah

19:54.29
jeffekennedy
maybe because you hate them, something like that. But the comeback was, um I don't hate the garbage or disagree with it. I take it out because it smells and I don't want to smell that. So on that note, um I think that's a great way to live life. Maybe you you may have to deal with the garbage. You have to acknowledge that garbage exists and know where the garbage goes and where it comes from and manage the garbage. But you don't have to sit there and smell it. On that note, I hope you all have a fabulous week. If you have other advice along these lines, I would love to hear it. And um I will talk to you all on Friday. You all take care. Bye bye.