Life After Stillbirth: "The Grief Becomes Less All-Encompassing"

We don't talk about stillbirth and infant loss enough because to acknowledge that they happen is to acknowledge that they could happen to US. We protect ourselves from these stories, which are OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES, to further separate someone else's reality from that of our own. For Anna Feldberg, our guest on this episode, having lost her first daughter Charlotte, who died suddenly at 35 weeks gestation, is a reality from which she cannot separate. Anna shares with us her very personal story, and how she got to a place where the grief  (and guilt) was no longer something all-encompassing. Folks often wonder what to say to someone who has experienced the loss of a child, as if that friend is on the other side of a wall and we can't begin to reach them. This episode helps us better understand how to support someone who is going through infant loss -- or, if it is something that has touched our own lives, how we can begin to move through our own grief process.

23,000 babies are born still in the US each year -- and often, the causes for these stillbirths are not clear.  After losing Charlotte, Anna found out that her placenta had been small -- something doctors had never mentioned to her during the course of her pregnancy. Anna has become a passionate supporter of consistently measuring the placenta during pregnancy. She now works with an organization called PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy,  to research and integrate similar maternal/fetal monitoring protocols into standard prenatal care.

Resources Anna shares in this episode:

• "What helped me a lot were support groups and connecting with other women (and men) who went through it."
• PUSH's Resource Page: From support groups to medical resources and connections to grief support book suggestions: https://www.pushpregnancy.org/pregnancy-infant-loss
• Star Legacy Foundation: Primarily  focused on pregnancy loss grief support. Also have a mentor program where they pair a “veteran” loss mom up with a new loss mom.
• Our partner Poppy Seed Health provides 24/7 text access to nurses, midwives, and doulas, with a special focus on providing support during pregnancy and infant loss.