The Psychology of Friendship - Part 4

Are you ready to revisit the playground dynamics of your childhood and decode the psychology of friendships? We've wrapped up our intriguing series on this topic, exploring not just the power of nurturing friendships but also the various aspects one needs to be mindful of. You might be surprised to learn that a supportive network of friends can increase your chances of sticking to your goals by 20%. Additionally, we discovered a fascinating statistic that only 30% of childhood friendships endure into adulthood - a fact that will certainly make you revisit your own past.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that needed immediate action and quick thinking? Hear about Alexandria Cowherd, a Wendy's employee, who was unhesitant and brave when she saw a man in distress. Her inspiring story will not only make you admire her courage, but also reflect on your own experiences of life-saving actions. We also share heartwarming tales of ordinary heroes, right from a fourth grader who rescued a puppy to a summer camp worker who performed the Heimlich maneuver on a choking girl.

To lighten the mood, we take you into the world of our personal hobbies, with a sneak peek of a model of Jupiter 2 adorned with LED lights. And if that isn't enough, we wrap up the episode with a giveaway of free items that you'll definitely want to get your hands on. So join us for this riveting exploration of friendships, personal growth, and success. Trust us, this episode is brimming with wisdom, captivating stories, and heartwarming moments that will leave you thoughtful and inspired.

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Change your thinking, change your life!
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast we're finishing up our series on the psychology of friendships. We had a couple more things. I didn't want to rush it, so that's all good, that's all cool. You know, we can talk about whatever.

Speaker 2: 0:11

Yeah, I got a lot of the rails, a little bit.

Speaker 1: 0:13

That's what? Ah, you're all good. So yeah, we're finishing up on the psychology of friendships. A couple of good things to know, some things you might want to be wary of or careful about, but, and as usual, we're giving away free stuff. Hang in there, folks, We'll be right back.

Speaker 3: 0:28

Get ready for the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright. Originating from the suburbs of Detroit, michigan, he has hypnotized thousands of people from all over the United States. David R Wright has been featured on news outlets all across the country and is the clinical director of an outpatient mental health and hypnosis clinic located just south of Detroit, where he helps people daily using the power of hypnosis. Welcome, the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright. What is going on, my friends? This is David Wright, the Motor City Hypnotist. We are back with another episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast.

Speaker 1: 1:16

I might have filled my drink up a little too much. Oh no, you can never have too full of a drink. Come on now. Got to drive home? Well, yeah, that's true, and then we'll be back with another episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast. I might have filled my drink up a little too much. Oh no, you can never have too full of a drink. Come on now.

Speaker 2: 1:31

Got to drive home.

Speaker 1: 1:32

Well yeah, that's true, and then the weather is getting a little dicy out there A little bit dicy A little crazy A little bit.

Speaker 2: 1:41

Yeah, it is Like drivers out here are struggling to absolute oh no, are hooligans. Now you listen to me.

Speaker 1: 1:48

Mr God did not put me on this earth to be awakened by filthy suggestions from a phone out hooligan like you, honestly. I'm sort of like greatest lines one of my favorite lines from breakfast no 16 candles 16 candles yes, I get the John Hughes movies confused.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Sometimes You're not alone, yeah, I know. So we're here on the podcast your Voice, southfield Studios, and let me give a plug for podcast your Voice Haven't done that in a bit. You want to do a podcast? This is the place you walk in. We got a setup. You get to have four people in here doing a podcast, right, four mics, four seats. Just to limit yourself to four, you can bring them. No, you could put more in if you want. Have enough space for a band. Oh, that's true, and you can do the setup. You can have set up any way you like. You can have a face on where you're, side by side. You could have a table, like Matt and I are across from each other, yep, but yeah, you come in, you sit down, you talk about what you want to talk about. You get up and you leave. They handle everything the technology, the uploading, the RSS feed, especially if you don't know what that even means. That's what they're here for. That's what they do for you.

Speaker 2: 2:55

They do Reasonable sound. Anyways, go on. Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 1: 3:00

The RSS feed. Long story short is the podcast file that gets uploaded to your suppliers.

Speaker 2: 3:04

Yes, it's just a way for folks to pick you up. Yes, absolutely you have to be so many episodes into your podcast for it to be picked up. Right and only like your major subscribers, like your Spotify, your Pandora's, you know of the world, the only pickup that RSS feed if you're so many, so many episodes in Right, right, yeah, I don't remember because we're on like 2.40. Oh, they would have picked us up.

Speaker 1: 3:28

Yeah, we've been. We've been in like right after, like I'm going to say, five or six episodes maybe.

Speaker 3: 3:33

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 3:34

Yeah, it's pretty quick. So, anyway, if you have something, you have a passion about something, you want to talk about, something you feel like you are smart about, you know, okay, I'm going to talk about it.

Speaker 2: 3:45

When you say smart about. There are podcasts about shoe laces that go on shoes. All right, the Anglids that fit the shoe laces.

Speaker 3: 3:56

What in places are you talking about?

Speaker 2: 3:59

If you're that person, become that person in a podcast.

Speaker 1: 4:03

Well, no, because somebody out there probably has a similar interest. Yeah, things that you wouldn't think about, but some people may love it. So, geek sidebar, matt, you want to see what I've been working on?

Speaker 2: 4:16

Speaking of hobbies, so we're going to take a quick sidebar. Are you going to show me your model? I am Of the Jupiter 2?

Speaker 1: 4:23

Well, I'm going to show you where it's at. We're up to a certain point now, all right.

Speaker 2: 4:27

The LED lights are in. Tell me the LED lights.

Speaker 1: 4:31

Well, some of them are in. Come on, okay, now you got to watch the columns.

Speaker 2: 4:36

I'm watching a video. The columns are blue, like the blue behind you right now, inside the Jupiter 2 command center.

Speaker 1: 4:46

Inside on the deck, and now they're white.

Speaker 2: 4:48

Holy crap man. That is beautiful. This is a brilliant model.

Speaker 1: 4:53

Yeah, it's taken a long time. You know how long you've been working on that for about a year.

Speaker 2: 4:57

Yeah, I believe it On and off. I mean that's brilliant because I got to tell you folks the lighting. Like, if you're on Facebook Live, you can see the blue behind them. That's where those lights are at inside this little model. I'll show you Kind of yeah, See, there it is, that's gorgeous and it's clean. It's not dusty.

Speaker 1: 5:19

No, Well, I mean it's you know, anytime I have it on, I'm working on it, Okay.

Speaker 2: 5:23

So even right there in the middle, okay, you just pass by it, even the little intricate pieces there, yeah, those little little boards are all.

Speaker 1: 5:31

everything lights up. Wow, that's crazy amazing. I still have some, you know, still have a lot of work to do, but I mean, it's All I see is OCD. Yeah, I know, I know it is very one of the things about this and we talk in therapy. I talk about like having your own self-time time for yourself to do something you enjoy and clearly, and that's yeah, yes.

Speaker 1: 5:55

And that's one of the things I've been enjoying it. Just it's a lot of problem solving because you know it's a kit so you everything's got to be changed or modified or upgraded. All the lighting I've done manually myself, just getting online and figuring it out.

Speaker 2: 6:13

And here I am.

Speaker 1: 6:13

This kit doesn't come with any wires, any, anything. It's all scratch built.

Speaker 2: 6:17

I'm over here trying to figure out what LED light is going to shine the most on my house for the holiday. And you've got these intricate LED lights in this, in these models, oh my goodness Right.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Yeah, that's great. So yeah, so that's anyway, do something you enjoy. So back to the podcast. There's something you enjoy. Maybe you enjoy modeling people. You know how many YouTube channels are out there on modeling? Oh what, just walking you through different kits, what gauge?

Speaker 1: 6:46

I mean, I'm just saying, I'm just speaking from a general I'll give you, I'm going to give you, I'll give you some on. We'll stand our geek sidebar for a moment. The same guy who I've watched his videos. He built one of these Jupiter two and he went through the whole process. So I've watched a lot of his stuff to get some tips and tricks. Same level of OCD, the same level of OCD and this maybe a little more. But he also did a millennium Falcon and it looks like movie, like could be a movie prop. Wow.

Speaker 2: 7:15

Yeah, that's great. So so, as, as far as podcasting goes, if you have a passion, yes, and you know that this is something that people might be interested in or feel do it.

Speaker 1: 7:28

Yeah, come on in. They handle everything, podcast your voice. Let me tell you where you can find me after that sidebar. My website is MotorCityHypnotistcom. Check it out. Social media Facebook and YouTube are both MotorCityHypnotist, and on Instagram and Snapchat, both our Motor City Hypno. And for your free Hypnosis guide, we give it away every single episode. It's always in the show notes Text, the word Hypnosis to 313-800-8510. The important thing wherever you're listening, whatever podcast platform you're on, even if you listen to us on Facebook Live, leave a review. Just just say reviews help. It just gets the word out, gets more people listening. It helps us out. So I'd appreciate a review. It would be fantastic. All right, are we doing this? That's time.

Speaker 3: 8:26

That's how we did it. It's done.

Speaker 2: 8:28

All right, so yes it is. We did police officers the last episode. What are we doing this episode?

Speaker 1: 8:34

Wendy's worker All right, got a bad dad, we're going from police officer to Wendy's worker. Okay, so I got a bad dad joke for you. Okay, oh, another one. Okay, come on, come on.

Speaker 2: 8:48

I have to collect myself. Why don't Barbie and Ken have a kid? Because they don't have genitalia, because Ken came in a different box.

Speaker 1: 9:04

Oh, I like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you that's?

Speaker 2: 9:11

not a bad. That's not a bad joke, that's a terrible joke. Great Odin's.

Speaker 1: 9:15

Raven, you can hear me, okay, can't you man?

Speaker 2: 9:19

Yeah, I can. Okay, cause my headphones are just winging out after all that podcast stuff about podcast. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1: 9:25

No, no, it's just that my volume seems really, though, but if you can hear me, I can hear you Fantastic, perfect. So a Wendy's worker was given the impromptu opportunity to have a break from work Normally a delightful surprise, but it wasn't for rest and relaxation, okay. At a franchise location on Richmond Road in Lexington, kentucky, a man had collapsed in the parking lot From too much bourbon. Alexandria Cowherd was on shift and alerted to the situation by her coworker.

Speaker 2: 9:57

Wait, wait.

Speaker 1: 9:58

My hands are up.

Speaker 2: 9:59

Yes, last name is Cowherd Cowherd in Kentucky. Yes, okay, cowherd, I just make a joke about that.

Speaker 1: 10:07

It is. It may be cowherd, because it's H? E A R D that's cowherd.

Speaker 2: 10:12

Cowherd, I heard you.

Speaker 1: 10:14

Yeah, cause it's. It's, not a herd, it's. I heard you what H E A R D.

Speaker 3: 10:25

I don't know if you know more.

Speaker 1: 10:27

I don't know what we're yelling about. She just watched me, I know. I did walk right into it. Um, she had already called 911 by the time she arrived at the man's unconscious body, but the color of his face told of the need for immediate action.

Speaker 2: 10:45

Was he choking on a McDonald's?

Speaker 1: 10:46

I don't know. Maybe he was choking on a big chicken, Wendy's chicken nugget or something.

Speaker 1: 10:51

Well, he hadn't got his food yet. So Well, he was in the parking lot. So, who knows, Maybe go on, Maybe go on. Um, I didn't panic visibly, but in the back of my mind I was like what do I do? Cowherd said I kind of short circuited a little bit before I was like girl, you know how to do CPR, Get over there and do those chest compressions. The 22 year old Alexandria learned CPR in her senior year of high school. Good, and after a short time of doing chest compressions he did that snoring thing and gasp for air so he was sleeping. Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2: 11:30

He's at a parking lot.

Speaker 1: 11:32

Yeah, at a Wendy's Well he collapsed. I don't know if you just unless you have narcolepsy. Was he eating a spicy nugget?

Speaker 2: 11:40

I don't know yeah.

Speaker 1: 11:41

The whole thing just the whole thing took just a few minutes, but to the adrenaline soaked mind of Alexandria, it seemed like a long time. Okay, the young woman is working at Wendy's while going to school at BCTC to become a certified nursing assistant. Good for her, according to WKYT, and the future medical professional wants to work in the NICU when she finishes school Awesome, yeah. So she's already in training to be a nurse or to be a medical practitioner. Good. At that moment, though, she put her future career aside and went right back to work at the Wendy's Do you want fries or something you save a guy in a parking lot.

Speaker 1: 12:20

You have to go back in and you know, slather up a chicken sandwich At 18 bucks an hour.

Speaker 3: 12:26

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:27

Hey.

Speaker 1: 12:27

I don't know, but yeah, I mean you know.

Speaker 2: 12:30

So the good news is, the winner of the week is that she jumped to action, yeah, she took action, yeah, and she saw someone who was in peril.

Speaker 1: 12:39

Yeah, possibly saved a guy's life. Does it matter? Yeah?

Speaker 2: 12:42

Absolutely yeah. Whether they were sleeping, choking on a nugget or what have you, she acted like she should have. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:50

Have you ever saved someone's life?

Speaker 2: 12:52

I've saved a puppy's life. Oh okay, and that's as far as it goes, yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:59

I don't know if it saved a life it could have. So I worked at summer camp for many years in my teen years and when I was in college. So we were sitting in the snack the snack shack bar, whatever it was called. Somebody comes running in and says somebody needs help. So I went outside and a girl was on the ground. Were they choking, or yes, okay. So long story short, she was drinking something, but something was something got stuck in her throat, okay, and she was like out, like she wasn't, like. She was just like out, not aware at all. So I kind of leaned her forward and did a heimlich a couple of times. She finally spit this thing out. It was a. This tells you how far back this goes. It was a can top. Oh Jesus, the pull tabs that come.

Speaker 2: 13:46

How was she choking on that? Because they used to come off the cans. Yes, I know.

Speaker 1: 13:51

But how did someone get?

Speaker 2: 13:53

that in there.

Speaker 1: 13:54

Because what used to happen I'm giving my age away here you would pull those tabs off and you just drop it in the can and then drink out of it. Okay, so, not out of a straw, that's what I'm no, no, like. Out of a can, okay, all right.

Speaker 2: 14:07

That's my only thought. So the tin part, the tin part got caught in her esophagus. Yeah right.

Speaker 1: 14:12

Interesting, yeah. So yeah, I had to do three or four really hard, you know heimlich, and finally popped out. Just there's just the sharpness of those. Well that's the whole thing, and I you know who knows. But she was fine after that. But all right, so knock on. What I don't know, I could have you know, maybe I.

Speaker 3: 14:31

I'm listening to you, no more.

Speaker 2: 14:33

So I saved my puppy's life when our cocker spaniel was impregnated by a collie and my cocker spaniel was giving birth to a litter of puppies, oh, and she birthed the first one and she ate the sack and she was doing exactly what she was supposed to, but the second one she was ignoring. Oh, so I, you know, I was God. How, how old was I? I must have been in fourth grade. Oh, you're young, I was young and I'm like. I'm like knowing what's happening. And the second puppy is born, and the dog isn't just like, I don't care, I just got this first one. Anyways, I broke the sack and I pushed the puppy up towards her and she's like oh, there's another one, oh, and from then on she's like oh, I have to do this every time.

Speaker 3: 15:21

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2: 15:22

So I saved a puppy's life.

Speaker 1: 15:24

Nice I especially for a fourth grader.

Speaker 2: 15:26

Fourth grader, I was in tune to what the dog was going through.

Speaker 1: 15:30

That's a great story, thank you. What happened?

Speaker 2: 15:34

But not to take away from our, from our winner of the week.

Speaker 1: 15:36

No for our winner of the week, alexandria Cowherd, who saved a guy in a Wendy's parking lot. So, winner of the week, winner of the week for sure, thank you.

Speaker 3: 15:52

That's how winning is done.

Speaker 1: 15:53

So we all have different yes it is, we have different life experiences.

Speaker 2: 15:57

We all save a life in some way, shape or form whether we know it or not. Right.

Speaker 1: 16:02

So back to it. Yes, bam, so we're talking about the psychology of friendships. We're finishing up on this, so we have a couple of things left as far as by information, think statistics, think tips.

Speaker 2: 16:16

Think goodness that you brought this, this topic up, because there's a lot that goes into friendships and I'm really interested in the last two or three topics that you have to bring up here. Four, okay, four, it is.

Speaker 1: 16:30

It is what it is. I'll shut up and let you go. Okay, first and this and this is kind of a natural occurring thing and you and you'll, you'll, when I say it, you'll be like oh, of course friends help you stick to your goals. Of course, yep, whether it's a healthy habit or you're trying to make a change or you want to get rid of a bad habit, having a friend supporting you makes you much more likely to succeed.

Speaker 2: 16:55

I love this topic because there are many goals that we have in life and if you say I want to make X amount of dollars by X amount of age, if a friend steps up and says I will support you 100%, come to me with whatever you think, or if a friend comes up to you and says, let's do it together.

Speaker 1: 17:14

Oh then we keep it, so keep each other accountable.

Speaker 2: 17:17

Yeah, that's even better. Accountability is a big thing, absolutely. When it comes to friendships, accountability is a big part of it.

Speaker 1: 17:25

Yep, absolutely Yep. So having a best friend that again keeps you accountable will make you 20% more likely to stick to your goals. Only 20% that that 20% more likely.

Speaker 2: 17:41

That makes kind of blows my mind actually.

Speaker 1: 17:43

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:44

Because I thought we'd do more.

Speaker 1: 17:46

I mean, I don't know what that baseline they're going off of on this is Okay. So let's say you were I don't know in general maybe you were like 70% likely to reach your goal, but with that friend that's now a 90. Okay, that's fair. You know, that's fair.

Speaker 2: 18:01

That's how I would take it. I just like that. I just like that topic of you'll be more. You may reach your goal if you have someone behind you, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 18:12

I love that. And yeah, friend, who's supporting you, and whatever it is, whether it's eating habits or weight loss or working out, I mean, that's another thing that studies have shown. You know, having a workout buddy has keeps people more accountable. They're more likely to keep going if somebody else is depending on them.

Speaker 2: 18:30

So let me ask the question yeah, so do you depend on your partner person to help you to achieve that goal? It depends on your friends who work out with it.

Speaker 1: 18:40

It depends, because let's say for example what do you do it? Together, right? Well, let's say you're in a relationship and your partner doesn't work out or that doesn't interest them but what if it does?

Speaker 2: 18:51

but they're just as Lazy as you are.

Speaker 1: 18:57

Well, I mean, I, I guess putting them two lazy people together you might get a little bit more of a more of a bump, because I'm saying, hey, you want to go? No. I don't either, but we probably should. Well, maybe we should. At least there's another somebody else to put input. Got it. If you're by yourself, you'd just be like effort.

Speaker 2: 19:19

I'm not doing that today in my previous relationship yeah, marriage, whatever, right, I was the one that's like hey, I want to get you know, I want to get fit, I want I started doing certain things like CrossFit. Yeah, yeah, I was getting in shape. But the other person was like, I'll do it at my own pace right, that's fine and 100% supportive, but they weren't catching up to where.

Speaker 2: 19:44

I had to where you were yeah, and you're like hey, here I am, uh-huh and this is what's going on. But now, david, uh-huh. My current relationship yeah, I Just changed my diet this week nice, chicken and rice. Yeah, I made my first two prep meals last night. Okay, and my partner is Supportive nice, and she's in the same mindset that I am. Uh-huh. I'm very excited for the next four or five months. Uh-huh, because we're gonna get fit, yeah, or we're gonna get healthier. Help, not fit, but healthier.

Speaker 1: 20:20

Well, our that would?

Speaker 2: 20:21

that would be getting more fit. No, our eating styles are the absolute same. Right, we love a good pizza. Right, get me wrong who?

Speaker 1: 20:28

doesn't love. Well, I just had a last night.

Speaker 2: 20:31

I Anyways, but we're in the same mindset because we've mentioned this before. Tough mutter.

Speaker 1: 20:38

Yes, I was a winner of the week once. Yes, matt was a winner of the week. Is he?

Speaker 2: 20:43

he finished a tough mutter I'm doing it again it is seven months away, and my partner is a hundred percent in tune to that as well, so we're both getting fit for the same reasons. That that's awesome.

Speaker 1: 20:54

I'm glad that you but.

Speaker 3: 20:56

I'm very important Many leatherbound books.

Speaker 2: 21:06

No, no, it's really admirable, because I've watched those tough mutter videos and I've always thought to myself oh, but something I should do but that's where a friend comes in, where they support your goals and they support your aspirations. And if you, if you want to be better Eating or what have you, and lose weight, why not have somebody?

Speaker 1: 21:26

Absolutely helps to have somebody with you. Yep, let's go to the next item. Mm-hmm, the majority of childhood friends don't last into adulthood. I disagree. According to a study conducted by one poll, the topic of childhood friendships was also explored. The findings indicated that only 30% of Americans reported maintaining long-lasting Connections with individuals they were friends with during their childhood.

Speaker 2: 21:55

What do you say? Childhood, and I have I have to ask the question again Childhood.

Speaker 1: 22:00

I would say a zero to ten, zero, zero to twelve.

Speaker 2: 22:05

Okay, so that's where we're in agreement, because zero to twelve.

Speaker 1: 22:08

I get to adolescence.

Speaker 2: 22:10

It's different. It's the teenage years, right those teenage years where you start to develop friendships and then those friendships can potentially become.

Speaker 1: 22:18

Let's think about. Let's think about the childhood friendships like in your neighborhood. When you were growing up, you probably had kids in the neighborhood. As a military kid, oh yeah, that's a little bit different.

Speaker 2: 22:30

It's just a lot. I moved a lot right as a child and my zero to ten. I remember those friends right. I don't have them as friends anymore.

Speaker 1: 22:38

Well, I remember an elementary school and and even on our street, like when we were ages like six, seven to probably eleven, twelve it was just the neighborhood kids, right and we had a, we had a family of five daughters that lived across the street. But you remember this and that's well. No, but I'm saying at that time, every day we were with these people and if you said now, oh, how many of them do you talk to? Now I will say I'm not, I don't talk to anybody regularly, but like, like one of my friends, one of the girls that lived across the street, sure, she works at a restaurant. It's worked there for like 30 years.

Speaker 1: 23:16

So I see her every once in a while and I say hello and catch up at the same restaurant, yeah, where she was as a teenager. No, what? Where she's been most of her adult life?

Speaker 2: 23:25

Okay, yeah did her parents own the place?

Speaker 1: 23:27

No, see, well, her mom was a manager for a while, all right, and then her mom passed away. It's within the family, right, right, and my mom worked at that same place, because my mom and her mom were good friends, so it just yeah, but, but, see, but, but even now, it's not like we're, it's not like, it's not like I see these, these friends from childhood, and we go out and have dinner, or okay, have them over for but they're thing.

Speaker 2: 23:55

But I'll go back to acquaintances right right up. So the is this person who's a Waitress at this breath? Is this someone who you will reach out to and be like hey, what's going on?

Speaker 1: 24:07

Well, I'll give you a good example. One of one of the kids in our neighborhood passed away in it's in the summer sometime no, it was probably in the spring, because I know I went to his funeral and then I had to jump on a plane right afterwards to get to a gig. But this is a kid that grew up two doors away from and and I, we. I talked to this Debbie, who I know, not Facebook, and said hey, scott passed away Because we were all childhood friends together, but but we're talking about friendships and it just it spans Generations, sure, right, because this is someone from your childhood.

Speaker 2: 24:49

They've passed away, yeah, the daughter of and the daughter of, or the right the son of, but that's where these friendships Grow from right, and now you have a connection to this person who has passed away.

Speaker 1: 25:06

Well, yeah, we've always had a connection. I mean, we grew up together.

Speaker 2: 25:10

So yeah, but now this person's childhood?

Speaker 1: 25:13

but I haven't seen him in in like it's probably been ten years before since I've seen him.

Speaker 2: 25:19

But you're still. You're still connected. No, we're still connected, because we would chat on Facebook here and there, right, and that's where the social media and I hate to bring this up again, but the social media aspect is where you stay in touch. You like you want to offer your condolences.

Speaker 1: 25:33

So, so. So my big thing is and let's, let's make the distinction, please. We were, we were friends growing up as kids. We were not friends as adults. Oh, okay, I mean, you could say we were former friends, but the fact that we hadn't talked or seen each other in 10 years, that kind of tells you something. You know what I mean. No, and that's not saying there was no, there's no falling out there. Just, you know different paths and different directions and you, in your girl part, you know it's. It's like, and it's like every Stephen King story. You've read these coming-of-age stories where, yeah, kids think that that's your whole life as your friends, and then you get into adulthood and that's just just kind of disappears right yeah, yeah, that fat kid.

Speaker 1: 26:25

Okay, let's, let's move on.

Speaker 2: 26:27

I don't want to. I don't want to extend friendships to another episode.

Speaker 1: 26:30

We're good. Many adults find it difficult to make new friends. One pole and evite conducted a study to explore the social dynamics among Americans. The findings revealed that around 45% of adults in the United States face difficulties when it comes to making new friends. The study highlighted that the average American hasn't developed a new friendship in a span of five years. Wow, the sheds light on the current state of social connections among Americans.

Speaker 1: 27:04

Many individuals struggle to reach out or to meet new people due to being introverted or shy or uncomfortable. 45% of people who find it challenging to make new friends attribute this to their own introverted nature. Rightfully so. Yeah, so, and here's the thing it has become it's different. It's different now. Friendships are different and Because, typically, you go to school, you meet friends. You go to college, you have friends there. You go to work, you have friends there. I and this is just my experience over the 30 years I've been doing therapy more people are isolated and Introverted than they ever have been. It seems more. That is more the case now than it has ever been the term introvert has become more Controversial.

Speaker 2: 28:00

Right right where there are levels of introvert, right you get out there, you have some fun, but you really enjoy your quiet time.

Speaker 1: 28:10

Right and some people you're in a public setting and you're like not for me and you bail and right with the Irish goodbye, yeah, absolutely, and and I will say, and I can, I can acknowledge this, I've even told people is that at some point in social situations, I I reach my limit at some point, sure, and I'm just like, I'm done.

Speaker 1: 28:35

I'm like like I'm just, I just can't, I'm just done, I have to, I have to just get away and have quiet, I'm gonna paraphrase Mike for big Leo yeah, stand up account, stand up comedian. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 28:48

Yeah, he's got a lot of like one-man shows. Yep, he's like You're like we love going to parties together, or we don't enjoy going to parties together, but we love leaving parties.

Speaker 3: 29:02

There you go. That's a good one.

Speaker 1: 29:05

Okay, let me give you the last fact. All right, please. Most Americans have a best friend Agreed. Listen to that the most, not all.

Speaker 2: 29:14

Agreed, but I agree with that.

Speaker 1: 29:17

How, what do you think? The percentages of people who say they have a best friend? 13%, oh that low? Yeah, nearly six and ten fifty nine percent of Americans report having at least one person they consider their best friend. Okay, I Close to 60%, so I'm way off the number. However, the number is lower than it once was. In 1990, 75% of Americans reported they had a best friend. Do you know why? So that is reduced over the last 20 years.

Speaker 2: 29:49

You know why. You know why social media. Yeah, yeah, it went from Facebook that, if you go back further, what was it before? My space, my space, and that's when Social media.

Speaker 1: 30:02

Well, because it's it's become and I don't say this in a critical way, because I'm part of social media, I have to I business, but it's it's become a lazy way to connect with people. Sure, because you don't have to make arrangements, you don't have to leave your house, you don't have to make a date, you don't have to go to dinner. Okay, so what were you doing in 1990? David, I Was in grad school, I was in high school.

Speaker 2: 30:24

Yeah, yeah, I just started grad school in 1990 and you know, the friends I had in high school Are the same friends that actually have On Facebook now.

Speaker 1: 30:36

Well, and I will say, though I, it depends on your social circles, because, okay, I had high school, then I had college, right, and Then, during high school and college, I was also working at a summer camp every summer for two and a half months, so that those people, in a way, were better friends because I was with them every single day for like 90 days fair night, day, morning, afternoon, we, we live together, but thank goodness that the technology that we have now Is not the technology we had.

Speaker 2: 31:09

Well right.

Speaker 1: 31:10

Yeah, because you'd have to. There's no way to keep in contact unless you're home for you right now.

Speaker 3: 31:16

I know it's crazy.

Speaker 1: 31:18

So so it is less than it was in 1990, but most people 60% or so 59% say that they have a best friend. All right, so Do you have a best friend?

Speaker 2: 31:30

I.

Speaker 1: 31:32

Have a couple of friends I would say that are my closest friends, so not best friends. No, I don't.

Speaker 2: 31:38

No, I don't think I can draw that distinction, see, and that that's the and I apologize because there's been a lot of Conversation between us. Yeah, it's difficult to talk about best friends and good friends that we Sponge my problems on. Do you have a?

Speaker 1: 32:09

friend like well, no, well, and this is going to sound cliche and corny but my best friend is my wife.

Speaker 2: 32:15

That's the person I go to understood right and that should be the person. Right, I have that. But as far as of the male gender.

Speaker 1: 32:26

So so I have friends that I've been friends with and we mentioned this in one of the earlier episodes on friendship that you cannot see each other for a year and you're totally cool and I have a couple of friends where we're all fantasy football together and we've been in that same fantasy football league for almost 30 years, and so there's always a connection. We've always have conversation, but we don't hang out like we all went to a to Pesh mode a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 2: 32:51

Right, you're wearing the shirt. Yes, I see that.

Speaker 1: 32:53

Yeah, oh, yeah Come on Pesh mode shirt on so so we do get together occasionally, but but it's, but, we're all. I mean, it's, it's fine. No, nobody's like. Oh, we don't. We haven't talked in a while, right, we're all good.

Speaker 2: 33:11

I just that when I, when I think best friend, I think of the same gender, I don't like of your partner, because your partner is always your best friend. Well, they should be. My partner is my best friend. We say that's one other, you're my best friend. Yeah, and it's the absolute truth, because we can speak the truth to one another at any time, shape or form Right and we won't be judged for it. Absolutely, I'm new to this.

Speaker 2: 33:34

Yeah, right Over the last right over the last couple two and a half three years. I am new to having a best friend of the was your partner. Who's my partner? Right and I'm just it's new after 22 years of of marriage. Yeah, yeah, thought that that person was the best friend, it just well it's new, it's new.

Speaker 3: 33:57

And.

Speaker 2: 33:58

I'm very happy that you've brought this subject to light around friendships. Yeah, this last, this last piece has been thank you.

Speaker 1: 34:07

Yeah, no, absolutely, and it's 60, 59%. 59% of Americans report having at least one person they consider their best friend and they weren't talking about the same gender or it doesn't, it doesn't specify that.

Speaker 2: 34:20

that's what I was trying to get down right to right, because we talk, because we we've talked about the divorce rate.

Speaker 1: 34:28

Yes, right, yeah.

Speaker 2: 34:29

And if it's 50 50, then great. But are they your best friend?

Speaker 1: 34:35

Well, they should be. That's the problem If they're not, that's why I mean, I'm just saying that's why a lot of divorces happen, because you're not really best friends. That's, that's the problem. Okay, all right, folks, that is wrapped up game on the psychology of friendships, and it only took us four episodes.

Speaker 2: 34:53

Oh, hey, alice, Alice is checking in.

Speaker 1: 34:55

Hi, I see you again, as usual. So yes, psychology of friendship All done.

Speaker 2: 35:04

Game on All right.

Speaker 1: 35:05

So if you have questions, shoot me up on Facebook. You can do that. Motor City hypnotist on Facebook. Join us there too. We're still around 44,000 or so on Facebook, but so the rest of this year?

Speaker 2: 35:16

yeah, what's on tap for the rest of this year?

Speaker 1: 35:20

Well, I'm hoping to have some guests really that we're going to have coming in. It might not be by Christmas, but but I have a couple of guests lined up, all right.

Speaker 2: 35:29

So, for the month of December, folks that are on Facebook live, yep, and are joining us. What are we going to be looking at?

Speaker 1: 35:37

Well, let me ask, let me put it out to them what do you want to hear about?

Speaker 2: 35:40

Love it.

Speaker 1: 35:41

I want to message on Facebook Like what do you want to have an episode on? What do you want me to talk about?

Speaker 2: 35:46

Have you done? Have we done? Top 10 Christmas movies.

Speaker 1: 35:49

No, we have not. I'm sure we'll have a top 10 list during the holiday we usually do Fair enough, so that'll work All right. Before we go, somebody needs a home. Who's that Bo?

Speaker 2: 36:02

Who's?

Speaker 1: 36:02

Bo.

Speaker 2: 36:05

Is that? Is that.

Speaker 1: 36:06

Be a you. That's what I said. He was born in 2021. Okay, couple years old Puppy. He's a B Sean mix. It's a puppy, 20 pounds. Okay, dog friendly. I want to see, I want to see You're going to want both of these man. Come on, there's Bo.

Speaker 2: 36:24

Come on, dude Look at that. Come on. So our puppy is brilliant, our little Preston is brilliant, but oh, come on, bo is brilliant.

Speaker 1: 36:40

Bo is 20 pounds and a B Sean B Sean freeze mix. B Sean freeze, yeah, b Sean freeze, b Sean freeze mix.

Speaker 2: 36:50

So, damn.

Speaker 3: 36:53

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 36:53

Bo needs a home. Detroit dog rescue Detroit dog rescuecom. The link will be in the show notes as it always is Kid friendly.

Speaker 2: 37:00

Yes, Dog friendly, yes, cat friendly.

Speaker 1: 37:02

Unknown.

Speaker 2: 37:03

Take your chances, yep. The cat will get used to it. Just look at that face.

Speaker 1: 37:08

Come on, Anyway. Bo needs a home. Detroit dog rescuecom. Alrighty folks, Thanks for joining us in our series on friendship. We'll have something new next week. It's a surprise. The best kind of a surprise is a surprise. What in places are you talking about? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 37:28

It's crazy, oh boy. So anyway, thanks for joining us folks. Facebook Live people. Thanks so much. We'll be back again next Monday evening, Eastern Standard Time, 8 o'clock. Join us on Facebook Live. You can be part of the part of the podcast. Ask questions, interact, Love seeing people come in, like my friend Alice.

Speaker 2: 37:49

She said nice.

Speaker 1: 37:50

Aww.

Speaker 2: 37:50

Aww, nice and the noise.

Speaker 1: 37:53

All right, folks, in the meantime, change your thinking, change your life, laugh hard, run fast, be kind. We will see you next time.