Navigating the Labyrinth of Trauma - Part 2

Healing from trauma can feel like navigating a labyrinth in the dark, but Matt Fox and I light the way with our illuminating discussion on the journey towards recovery. Tune in as we delve into the therapeutic power of hypnosis and equip you with free resources to deepen your understanding of its role in trauma therapy. Broadcasting from our cozy Southfield Studios, we also dissect the unique ways trauma impacts various age groups, from bedwetting in children to selective mutism in teenagers, emphasizing the importance of recognizing these different expressions of distress.

The emotional aftermath of traumatic events, especially for teenagers in the shadow of the COVID-19 pandemic, is a maze of complexity. We dissect past and present coping mechanisms, highlighting the significance of healthy emotional processing and the dangers of substance misuse. The 'big three' - sleep, diet, and exercise - are heralded as pillars of mental health, and we share practical advice on weaving exercise into a jam-packed schedule. Our chat offers not just a listening ear but a trove of strategies to maintain a sense of stability in an ever-chaotic world.

Our final chapter resonates with a call for systemic change, addressing the stark reality of mental health care access and the barriers constructed by prohibitive insurance costs. With personal anecdotes of navigating high deductibles, we outline the need for sweeping reforms to make mental health services universally accessible. Wrapping things up, we pivot towards our podcast's core mission - to foster approachable and relatable mental health discussions that strip away intimidating jargon. We part with guiding principles for a fulfilling life and an open invitation to join us for our next live session, promising more educational insights served with a side of entertaining banter.

FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
My social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjjLNcNvSYzfeX0uHqe3gA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
Instagram: motorcityhypno
FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
https://detroithypnotist.convertri.com/podcast-free-hypnosis-guide
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
(Stay with me as later in the podcast, I’ll be giving away a free gift to all listeners!)

Change your thinking, change your life!
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast, we're talking about dealing with trauma and I know, I said in the intro of last episode, it's a little bit heavy, but I think it's very useful and very helpful for those of you who have had traumatic events in their life and are wondering how do I get through this, how do I deal with this? That's the big thing. So this is part two of dealing with trauma and, as usual, we're giving away free stuff, as we always do. Hang in there, folks, we'll be right back. Get ready for the Motor.

Speaker 2: 0:33

City hypnotist David R Wright. Originating from the suburbs of Detroit, michigan, he has hypnotized thousands of people from all over the United States. David R Wright has been featured on news outlets all across the country and is the clinical director of an outpatient mental health and hypnosis clinic located just south of Detroit, where he helps people daily using the power of hypnosis. Welcome the Motor City Hypnotist David R Wright.

Speaker 1: 1:19

What is going on, my friends? This is David Wright, the Motor City Hypnotist, and we're back with another episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast, you know.

Speaker 3: 1:27

I've waited all week for this part two.

Speaker 1: 1:31

Well, you couldn't have waited all week because you were here for part one. I still waited a week to get to this point To part two. Okay.

Speaker 3: 1:38

Okay, he has a brain like a chicken. Took you a second.

Speaker 2: 1:43

What in blazes are you talking about?

Speaker 1: 1:44

No, I'm happy to be back. That is Matt Fox, the other voice you hear. We're here on the podcast, your Voice, southfield Studios. Yes, we are Hanging out having a drink doing a podcast.

Speaker 3: 1:53

I'm almost empty. I don't know about you.

Speaker 1: 1:56

I am almost empty.

Speaker 3: 1:57

All right, I'll work on that.

Speaker 1: 1:58

Yeah, yeah, maybe a little dash of bourbon somewhere, yeah, or bourbon somewhere, yeah, fantastic. So let me tell you, folks, first of all, we're in the Podcast your Voice, southfield Studios. If you're interested in doing a podcast, this is the place to call because I'm telling you, you walk in, you sit in the studio, you do your podcast, you go home. They handle all the technical side, they handle the uploading of the RSS feed. If you don't know what that is, that's more of a sign that you should hire Podcast your Voice. Yeah, absolutely. Here we are and the studio is fantastic.

Speaker 1: 2:28

You can see it, see it right here, yeah, and they have a full bar. Well, sure, if you want to call it that, there are a lot of bottles out there.

Speaker 3: 2:36

They may not be full, but you know.

Speaker 1: 2:41

And shout out to Todd, who's sitting with us. He's actually going to be working with Podcast. Your Voice soon, potentially.

Speaker 2: 2:46

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 2:47

We're here to show them what a podcast is, how it works, what we do.

Speaker 3: 2:52

Yeah, just absorbing Welcome.

Speaker 1: 2:53

Todd, thanks for being here, thanks for having me yeah absolutely so.

Speaker 1: 2:57

Let me tell you, folks, where you can find me. First of all, my website is MotorCityHypnotistcom. Check that out, especially if you're looking to do a show, because grad season is filling up very quickly and we're within a couple weeks of grad season. Now here's the thing I don't know where you're listening. I mean you could be in another country, which is fine. That works too, but it's regional. Here in the United States, michigan doesn't have post-prom parties per se or all-night parties. Michigan doesn't have post-prom parties per se or all-night parties. They have grad night lock-ins that last till early in the morning. But other states in the Midwest like Iowa, illinois, wisconsin, north Dakota they do prom night parties that are all-night lock-ins. So it kind of varies by region. But if you have a need for a hypnotist for your prom night or your grad night, check out MotorCityHypnotistcom. Click on shows. You can get a quote, you can book it and you can sign and you can pay a deposit online without even speaking to anyone. So make sure you do that, because dates are filling up quickly. You can find me on social media. Facebook and YouTube are both Motor City Hypnotist, and Snapchat and Instagram are both Motor City Hypno. That is H-Y-P-N-O.

Speaker 1: 4:11

And as usual, as we do on every episode, we give away a free hypnosis guide. It's a PDF that I wrote it just kind of in basic terms explains what hypnosis is, what it's not, dispel some myths and misconceptions. You can download it. It'll be downloaded right to your device if you just text the word hypnosis to 313-800-8510. And if you need that number again, it's 313-800-8510. That is the number on our website also. So if you go to my website, you can see the number and text hypnosis to that number, so that you won't have any issues.

Speaker 1: 4:45

And the biggest thing is wherever you're listening, whatever platform you're on, please subscribe and leave a review by subscribing or joining or connecting whatever your podcast platform asks for. It just helps you get the show without looking for it. It drops right to your device as soon as it's released. So check that out. And the biggest thing is leave a review. That helps us out. It helps us get the show out to other people. More people find it. That'd be fantastic. Do it. So I would appreciate that very much. Just do it. Do it. Do it now. You could do it live. We'll do it live.

Speaker 2: 5:17

Fuck it, do it live, I Do it live.

Speaker 1: 5:21

Fucking thing sucks. You can do it live, that's fine. It's all right. All right, is it? It is time.

Speaker 2: 5:34

All right, that's how winning is done.

Speaker 3: 5:42

That's a winner, right there in your glass, that blackberry. That blackberry Take it After it's been right there in your glass. That blackberry, that blackberry, take it After it's been soaking in the bourbon Talk for like 10 seconds.

Speaker 1: 5:49

I'm going to eat this blackberry.

Speaker 3: 5:50

All right, you do that, but the winner of the week is sponsored to you by I have no idea. No, I'm excited for the winner of the week because there's a lot going on in the city of Detroit. I mentioned the draft earlier. You did and the city of Detroit is ready for the draft. We are, and it's building.

Speaker 1: 6:08

they have a whole structure that they're building for this draft to take place in Right in the heart of Campus March. They're shutting down roads and, yeah, it's a big event. I myself will not be going downtown this weekend. I will not be going downtown. In fact, I'll be in Iowa again this weekend.

Speaker 3: 6:22

Good for you. Get the hell out of here.

Speaker 1: 6:25

Beckman High School, okay, in Dyersville, iowa. Okay, dyersville's famous for when have I.

Speaker 3: 6:33

That was a. Was it a? No, it wasn't a Stephen King thing, it was Goosebumps.

Speaker 1: 6:36

Nope.

Speaker 3: 6:38

What was it? What is it? I know I've heard Dyerswood before D Dyersville is where Field of Dreams is. Oh, that's right. Okay, if you build it.

Speaker 1: 6:46

In fact, I went and saw Field of Dreams a couple years ago when I was in Iowa for a show. Okay, granted, it was in the spring and it was April and there was a snowstorm right before I got there, so it didn't have that same effect, but it was cool. It was cool to see it, I bet it was. It was really cool, I bet it was. It was fantastic. So, winner of the week. Yes, so I don't know if you. I'm just going to ask you and then I'll read the story. Did you hear about the story about this boy who caught a baseball and somebody stole it from him?

Speaker 3: 7:13

It's happened a few times At a major league game.

Speaker 1: 7:15

It's happened a few times this asshole yeah, I'm just saying old Camden Cleveland plays baseball. Camden Cleveland, doesn't that sound like a baseball player's name? It does, it does. He wears uniform number 25 on his back in honor of his favorite player, byron Buxton. Okay, so Tuesday was a surreal day when he got the opportunity to have Buxton sign a baseball for him. Fair but surreal turned to devastating when, as Father Sam Cleveland described it, an unknown fan snatched the ball from the usher, bringing it to Cam. When, as Father Sam Cleveland described it, an unknown fan snatched the ball from the usher, bringing it to Camden, and ran away with it. What the f—.

Speaker 2: 7:53

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:54

I know that's terrible Fucking hooligans. Now you listen to me, mister.

Speaker 2: 8:00

God did not put me on this earth to be awakened by filthy suggestions from a foul-mouthed hooligan like you.

Speaker 3: 8:08

Yeah, wow.

Speaker 1: 8:10

What a jerk. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. Thanks to lightning-quick spreading of the word all over social media, buxton Bally Sports North Sideline reporter Audra Martin, the Twins and the Orioles all came together to give Camden a day he described as the best day ever. Perfect, making it right, with not only a special day at the ballpark but also a Buxton signed ball bat and batting gloves. All right, so let me give you the background of this. They were away, twins were playing in Baltimore, so they're at Camden Yards. Okay, so the kid is a Twins fan. Byron Buxton is on the Twins, so the person that took it was in Baltimore Stadium. Was an Orioles fan? Yes, or maybe, who knows? That's where it was stolen from. Okay, for my son at eight years old to be able to experience that. That's a core memory. Sam Cleveland said Sounds traumatic. It does sound traumatic. Yeah, that's something that he is always. Let me read this right it's weird, it's worded weirdly. That's something that he's always going to remember for the rest of his life. He's going to see the good of humanity. Just letting him know I appreciate the support. Byron Buxton said I've got your back.

Speaker 1: 9:29

After Camden drowned his sorrows in pizza and chicken tenders on Tuesday, sam and Ashley Cleveland decided to try again with their son on Wednesday After Buxton had vowed to make things right on social media. When they pulled into the parking lot, they found a direct message waiting for them from the Orioles instructing him to call a number. On the line was a representative of the Orioles owner, david Rubenstein, inviting the family to sit in the Rubenstein's own seats in the front row, adjacent to home plate Nice, with a bag of Orioles goodies also waiting for them. That was the first surprise, said Sam, a Wisconsin native and huge Twins fan who moved to Annapolis, maryland, in 2011 to join the Coast Guard.

Speaker 3: 10:10

It's a beautiful area, by the way, annapolis, maryland.

Speaker 1: 10:12

Oh is it? Well, yeah, you're a military brat. Yeah, it's beautiful. Then the top of the fourth inning rolled around and Martin, who had been spreading the story around the twins' clubhouse before the game, found the family in their seats. From a bag she produced the gifts that Buxton had entrusted her in the clubhouse to bring to the family and when Camden saw them there were tears behind the large sunglasses he was wearing. I never thought I was even going to get a gift, camden Cleveland said. It made me feel really, really happy. The best day ever Buxton did remember signing for Camden on Tuesday really happy. The best day ever Buxton did remember signing for. Buxton did remember signing for Camden on Tuesday, he said. But he didn't have any idea what had happened until he saw the clamor on social media. Later he said he thought of his three boys and during the interview he suppressed the words that immediately came to mind when thinking about the kind of person that would do this to a child. Don't worry, we covered that.

Speaker 3: 11:05

Yeah, we did.

Speaker 2: 11:08

Asshole. Oh da-da-da-da, like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you?

Speaker 1: 11:11

Yeah honestly, buxton stated I just didn't know. Somebody grabbed his ball. That's the sucky part of it. Is you do everything you're supposed to do right to get an autograph from your favorite person? Being in this position, I'm glad, or I'm in, and to have that happen that's obviously not something I want to happen to my kid. I felt bad. I felt the need to do a little more and try to brighten up his day. Sam Cleveland said he tried to initially use the rotten moment as a life lesson for his son, and Buxton echoed that sentiment. As he wished he could have talked to Camden about such difficulties that can sometimes come up in life, like he would to his own sons. But even when faced with such moments, sam Cleveland says his kid is the kind to still try to see the good in humanity, pointing out that when situations aren't fair to others around him and trying to push away the idea that life is sometimes Sure. Sure To have this baseball coming to you and somebody stole it.

Speaker 3: 12:29

Well, my question is did he have the ball and it was taken from him?

Speaker 1: 12:33

No, no, it was taken from an usher who was bringing it to him. Oh yeah, what the fuck.

Speaker 3: 12:39

All right, yeah, see, even at my age I'm almost 50 years old when I go to a ball game and a ball's coming at me, I get excited.

Speaker 1: 12:48

Oh, absolutely, it's going old when I go to a ball game and a ball's coming at me, I get excited.

Speaker 3: 12:50

I'm like this is going to be the first time I've ever caught a ball in a major ballpark.

Speaker 1: 12:52

I'm almost 60 years old. I've never caught a foul ball.

Speaker 2: 12:56

Okay let me tell you a story, Matt so.

Speaker 1: 12:58

I was probably eight. I was probably this age, I was probably eight. My brother and I and my dad. My dad took us to a ball game at Tiger Stadium. We're sitting in the upper deck on third baseline. I remember this vividly because it was an opportunity and again, this was in the late 70s. So Ben Ogilvie of the Tigers was up to bat.

Speaker 3: 13:18

I remember the batter who was up. What pillar were you behind at Tiger Stadium?

Speaker 1: 13:22

Well, we weren't behind a pillar, because I'm going to tell you why. So Ogilvie fouls a ball off and it comes right at us, right at my brother and I, we both leaned to each side, hits the seat and bounces back onto the field, oh boy. And we're like, oh, why did we go? Okay, I mean, we're eight, we didn't try and catch it or get your face smashed in. I don't know, it was self-preservation at that point.

Speaker 3: 13:55

But the whole point is, yeah, that that's the closest I came to even touching a foul ball, right, yeah, and that was when I was eight. So so I was. I'm gonna share a story with you, sure, because I have caught a ball in a ballpark. Nice, I was at a double a game at, okay, jimmy john's field in macomb county and we're out in the nosebleed aka the lawn area, yeah, and the bases were loaded and a left-hander we were sitting, kind of, you know, you know, center center-ish field area. I had a beer in my hand, nice, ipa, you know, going on. My kids were there, you know, family was there, and this left hander gets up and I'm like, watch it, he's gonna hit it out of the park. And sure as shit, he hit that ball, it cracked it and it was coming right at me. I had a beer in my right hand, my daughter's sitting on the ground, I stand up, I'm like I got it and I catch this ball in my arm? No way. And at the same time spilled my beer all over my kid.

Speaker 1: 14:46

Small sacrifice.

Speaker 3: 14:47

You got the ball. Kid Small sacrifice you got the ball. My kid's reaction was that was the coolest thing ever, absolutely, because you caught a grand slam. Home run right. I'm very important.

Speaker 2: 14:55

I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany as soon as.

Speaker 3: 15:03

I caught that ball. Some guy did come running up to me and he's like dude, I will buy you another beer. That was my brother that just hit that ball. Can I have that ball? And I said I have nothing, I don't need it. Here you go. Sure, he brought me a beer. Really yeah, because I spilled mine all over my kid.

Speaker 1: 15:20

Well, you gave your ball away for a beer, yeah, and the kids weren't disappointed. No, my kids don't care about that. Well, okay, well, good, then, that's fantastic.

Speaker 3: 15:34

No, going to a ball game though. So my point is it doesn't matter what age you're excited to catch a ball at a game.

Speaker 1: 15:37

Well, sure, no, absolutely. As an adult, I'd be thrilled. Yeah, that'd be fantastic, it was fun. So, yeah, that's our winner of the week, for sure, perfect.

Speaker 2: 15:52

Perfect. That's how winning is done.

Speaker 3: 15:55

That was a positive traumatic event.

Speaker 1: 15:57

See Right, well, it wasn't.

Speaker 3: 16:03

I'm mincing it together. Yeah, you're mincing it a little bit. A little bit, all right.

Speaker 2: 16:07

Go on. So back to it. Okay, all it, okay, all right folks.

Speaker 1: 16:10

So we're talking about um, dealing with trauma and and we know, like I said, it's a heavy topic, but but I think I think it's it's important that we talk and give you some direction and some information that's going to help you, especially if you're a victim of trauma, trauma or a traumatic event. So. So we talked in the in the part one, and if you're not listening to part one, jump back an episode and catch up or you can listen to it after this. You'll still get all the information. It's all good, good. So we talked in the first episode about really what is a traumatic event, how does PTSD happen, and we talked a lot about the symptoms you might be experiencing and you don't know you're suffering from PTSD. So check that out. That. That's definitely important to kind of get you to where we're at now. Love it. So here's the thing adults, children and adolescents react different to Traumatic events. It's just it's it's a difference in as far as the development of your mind understanding and they process it different.

Speaker 1: 17:10

That's a good way to put it. So a lot of times children and adolescents can have extreme responses, traumatic events, but necessarily the symptoms aren't the same as adults Would it be because they haven't had enough life experiences to reflect back on.

Speaker 1: 17:28

Think about. If you're like, I'll throw it out in age eight year old, okay, you know, how much do you understand or how much can you kind of deduce from events that happen? A lot of times it's again you. You haven't, you haven't developed a sense of, of self or confidence, or or or realization of what happens in the world. So, or realization of what happens in the world. So. A lot of times it's just a shock. It's a shock to the system because it's like whoa, what is this? This is not good. So a lot of times in children, especially children younger than six, they don't know how to verbalize their feelings, they don't know how to express themselves, they don't know how to talk to somebody about this. So some symptoms that children may have that adults typically don't bedwetting after they've been potty trained, that's a big sign.

Speaker 3: 18:18

It's not a regression. This is full on because of that event, right.

Speaker 1: 18:23

The event triggered a regression in behavior, or I shouldn't say behavior in training. Let's say that Forgetting how to talk or being unable to talk. Now I have dealt with a couple of clients, not many, because I don't say it's rare, but fairly rare. I had an adolescent teenager who was probably 13 or 14, that had selective mutism a selective, I've never heard so selective mutism is just, she will only talk in situations where she feels 100 safe and confident, which is rare. So, honestly, the first I'm gonna say three or four sessions with this young lady, she didn't talk at all. I would ask her questions and sometimes she would nod okay, yes, or no.

Speaker 1: 19:14

So she's still communicating, but just not verbally, correct and then and then I think maybe the second or third session, I said, do you mind, would it be okay if you write it down right, that work? And again, these are all things to ease her into being in a trusting relationship where she felt more safe being able to speak. So eventually we got to the point where she started talking. Okay, probably you know four sessions in Wow. And again she had dealt with trauma as a young child.

Speaker 3: 19:42

And it took you a long time to gain that trust.

Speaker 1: 19:45

Well, and that's the whole point of a therapist is you have to be able to trust your therapist and if you can't, if you don't have that, it's not going to work for you. Right, and you worked hard to gain that trust Well, but that's kind of the point, that that's what therapists should do. I mean, I agree with you on that, and some therapists may not do that and that's why I've always said and you've probably heard me say this a million times if you listen to our show for any length of time that you have to have the right therapist. Just because somebody is a therapist doesn't mean they're good. That I'm telling you this from I've been in this business for 30 plus years and I know I've dealt, I've I've worked with therapists who are complete idiots. I'm just telling you, make sure that it's a right fit and that it's somebody that you can trust and that may take, unfortunately, that may take three, four, five tries maybe to find the right therapist. But it's to your benefit to find somebody who's going to be able to help you. That's the big thing.

Speaker 1: 20:48

Other symptoms for kids somebody who's going to be able to help you yeah, that's the big thing. Other symptoms for kids acting out scary events, the scary event during a playtime, and that's why a lot of children, especially under the age of 10, I do a lot of play therapy with Okay, we'll play games, we'll do action figures, we'll do cars, we'll do whatever. You know, we have a whole bunch of stuff in the office and you can see behaviors, especially in games, because kids don't, especially if they're seeing a therapist. They don't know how to just talk. They can't talk for 55 minutes and share what they're feeling. It's just that they don't know how to do it. Through their play, you start through the play.

Speaker 1: 21:24

I can see certain things, certain behaviors and you're gauging what they're what they're afraid of, what they're resistant to do, things that they're happy with. So so that's a big thing, um being unusually clingy with a parent or caretaker.

Speaker 3: 21:41

Unusually clingy, so can you allow.

Speaker 1: 21:44

I would say being very withdrawn or super shy or or just like, like, like. If your parents took your kids to chuckie cheese and the kid won't leave the parent's side like they're clung to the leg yeah right, just won't let go. And then the parent is dragging a child around via the leg right, so that's the unusually clingy part right now, teenagers, it's kind of a hit or miss because you're in that transition from childhood to adulthood.

Speaker 3: 22:13

It's so, and I, I. It's so difficult for to gauge a teenager, especially in this day and age, because they're, they're, they're so much that they have access to absolutely with social media and the internet.

Speaker 1: 22:27

You know I don't want to sound like the old guy down the road. No, no, not at all.

Speaker 3: 22:30

Get the hell off of my lawn, but honestly, oh great.

Speaker 2: 22:35

Odin's.

Speaker 3: 22:35

Raven. With the amount of stuff they have access to, they traumatize themselves without even knowing it.

Speaker 1: 22:40

Well, that happens too and I see a lot of that. And I just saw a story the other day and it's going to be very vague because I don't remember the details, but the whole details was one state is is considering a bill to ban social media for children under the age of 14.

Speaker 3: 23:00

I remember seeing a story and it was a. It was in a County.

Speaker 1: 23:04

Yes, and I I don't remember.

Speaker 3: 23:07

I don't remember either.

Speaker 1: 23:08

But the but, the point point is, it is very and it's not. I'm not against progression or advancement of society. Things change Things. You know, we had one TV in our house growing up. I mean things change. It was black and white with ears. We did have rabbit ears. We had a bang on the TV to get it to tune in. Sometimes you know those kind of things. Did you turn on the antenna sometimes?

Speaker 3: 23:36

and just have to hold it a certain way. Oh boy.

Speaker 2: 23:38

That escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast Put foil on.

Speaker 1: 23:43

It Put foil on the antennas you got braces on Touch that thing. So it's different with teenagers, Typically with teenagers, their response to a traumatic event and you'll know, as soon as I say it, because you have kids, Matt being disruptive, disrespectful, destructive behaviors, withdrawal.

Speaker 3: 24:04

Yeah, the withdrawal is a big sticking point, because one day they're just happy, go lucky, and all of a sudden the next day they just won't talk to anybody.

Speaker 1: 24:14

Well, yeah, and I have a 21-year-old. He's not even a kid. He's still your kid, he's still. How do I say this, and this is not an insult in?

Speaker 1: 24:23

any way no not at all, because he his trauma. Well, one of his traumas, I believe, was going through COVID during his senior year of high school. Sure, that was a lot of kids From March to the end of the year. When he graduated they weren't even in person, so he missed out on prom. He missed out on a huge graduation. They did graduation ceremonies but it was only 20 students at a time For a class of 200?

Speaker 1: 24:48

Oh, 300, 320, 320 something like that took two months, yeah, so so he didn't get to walk with his friends, so those kind of things that, and even though as an adult I can say it's no big deal because but it is a big deal.

Speaker 3: 25:02

You've had life experience.

Speaker 1: 25:02

Well, no, absolutely and that so. So in in framing that I I can kind of see, yeah, okay, that sucks, but for teenagers.

Speaker 3: 25:12

They process things in a much faster way than what we did as teenagers.

Speaker 1: 25:19

No, absolutely Because of social media and having instant access to everything. Exactly yes.

Speaker 3: 25:25

I would have to go to a newspaper. Thank God I delivered them back in the day Newspaper. How old are you? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 25:28

go to a newspaper. Thank.

Speaker 3: 25:29

God I delivered them back in the day Newspaper. How old are you?

Speaker 1: 25:32

Yeah, I don't know, I'm old, I mean everything in my day was ball bearings.

Speaker 2: 25:36

Oh, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.

Speaker 1: 25:40

Hey, hey, it's all ball bearings nowadays, right?

Speaker 3: 25:55

No, I was just saying. You know, the access that these kids have to the world today is 300 times more than what we had access to when we were kids. So our way that, the way that we process things is through life experiences, they process through instant information.

Speaker 1: 26:02

Yeah, instant access or instant gratification, sure.

Speaker 3: 26:04

That's the other thing.

Speaker 1: 26:05

There it is, because, you know, sometimes gratification is not instant. It's crazy.

Speaker 3: 26:11

Speak for yourself.

Speaker 2: 26:14

Oh, good for you.

Speaker 3: 26:17

No, but that's where you know helping to raise teenagers, having already raised teenagers, and then you know being a part of a family raising teenagers at the same time, a family raising teenagers at the same time. The challenges are there and I'm raising teenagers.

Speaker 1: 26:34

That are different from the teenagers I raise because of the information that is now accessible, right. So here's the thing If you've been a victim or you've experienced a traumatic event and you feel like it's affecting you, I'm going to give you some tips as far as things that you can implement to get you where you need to be.

Speaker 3: 26:53

Do we touch on the adults yet? Because we talked about children, we talked about teenagers. What about adults?

Speaker 1: 26:59

Well, the adults were kind of grouped in the beginning as far as those symptomologies, and then we talked about children and adolescents. Thank you, yes, all right, just making sure, yep. So let me tell you some some things that you can implement to help you get through PTSD or whatever trauma that you experienced. Okay, some of these are self I don't know what the word self-evident, not self-evident Some of these are are are common sense? Common sense Avoid the use of alcohol or drugs, what it just modifies your thinking. But here's the thing when people deal with trauma and terrible feelings, typically they're going to turn to something that will make them feel better. Sure, alcohol, drugs, pot, whatever, and I'm not criticizing any of these things. But what happens is if you're using them to To squash feelings and memories.

Speaker 3: 27:55

I just want to say self-medicate?

Speaker 1: 27:56

Yeah, no, well, no, that's a good way to put it. So if you're using that to cope with bad memories, it's not going to end well. In fact, what will happen is you're just going to have to continue to use. But you need to feel these feelings so we can work with them and figure out what to do with them. Common sense, yes. Spend time with people who you trust and are supportive. That's a big thing, I mean if you're younger parents, friends, family therapist, teacher.

Speaker 3: 28:37

It goes back to surrounding yourself with people who you trust. We did an episode on people that you depend on. Yes, right, and it could be your neighbor, it could be your.

Speaker 1: 28:50

Yeah, whoever you feel safe with, whoever you trust. That's a big thing. This is a big thing, and this applies to children, adolescents and adults. And adults will argue with me on this. But here's the thing it's maintain a routine. Maintain a routine for meals, for exercise, for sleep. Now, I know a lot of adults will be like I don't want to get locked into that. Even kids do this. Oh, I don't want to go to school. But here's the thing I'm telling you that there's no way to make you believe this except to say that Trust me on this. I've been doing this for 30 years. I know people need a structure. Oh, yeah, and I'll use a brief example People that win the lottery and quit their jobs and they don't have to do anything yeah, except what they want to do yeah, that's a bad. They end up just self imploding because they have no purpose anymore. There's no structure to their life.

Speaker 3: 29:47

Actually and I could probably share this with you off, mike, but I've actually had a mental thought as to what would I do if I did win the lottery. Uh huh, would I quit? I've actually had a mental thought as to what would I do if I did win the lottery. Uh-huh, would I quit my job? The job I have now? Right, probably yeah, but I would get myself ingrained with things that I believe in.

Speaker 1: 30:05

Well, or things that you enjoy doing.

Speaker 3: 30:07

Enjoy doing, but I wouldn't stop the routine that I have. You get up every morning, but see, that's the important thing.

Speaker 1: 30:12

You get up every day, you shower, you take care of yourself, you do hygiene. You have some place that you feel satisfaction going to or some reward.

Speaker 3: 30:25

And the other thought was if I believe in the place where I work, would I invest more time with them?

Speaker 1: 30:32

Well, here's the thing, and gosh, I've said this probably a million times too. Well, here's the thing, and gosh, I've said this probably a million times too Do something you—and this is a question I ask clients If money were not an option, what would be your job? What would you go and do for a living every day? I'd invest in your therapy practice. But see, that's the whole thing. It's that if you're going to a job that you hate every day, then I have to say what do you want to do? What would you feel good going to every day?

Speaker 1: 31:11

It's a tough question to answer it is, it's something that you'd have to think about and say, well, what do I have the skill for? I mean, I know some things are not realistic. At 60 years old I'm not going to be a professional athlete. I know that that would be a great dream as an eight-year-old, but not as a parent.

Speaker 3: 31:26

Paralympics.

Speaker 1: 31:28

I lost a limb.

Speaker 2: 31:31

Special Olympics? I ain't listening to you no more.

Speaker 1: 31:37

But the point is, people need to have a structure to keep them on track.

Speaker 3: 31:42

I 100% agree.

Speaker 1: 31:43

That is, across the board, 100%. The other tip and these are the big three I'm going to add to this On my outline, I have engage in exercise, mindfulness or other activities that help reduce stress. I'm going to give you the big three, and this is when I'm dealing with people with any type of struggle anxiety, depression, PTSD. Sleep, diet, exercise. Those are the three major pillars that you have to put in place, and I don't care if it's five minutes a day or 10 minutes a day or two hours a day. You have to sleep eight hours a day. You have to eat right.

Speaker 2: 32:26

You have to exercise.

Speaker 1: 32:30

It sounds simple, but I'm telling you, if you get these three things put in place, you are going to feel better.

Speaker 2: 32:40

Two out of three ain't bad.

Speaker 1: 32:45

I'm just saying you have to have this. I'm overstating it, but if you don't have these things, you're not going to feel good about yourself. You won't. You won't Because there's no structure, there's no direction, there's no purpose in your life.

Speaker 3: 33:00

And you need to find the time to make it a part of your daily routine, a part of your life.

Speaker 1: 33:04

Well and like I said, when I say exercise, a lot of clients will be like I don't have time. I'm like do you have 10 minutes during your day? That's all you need? Can you break 10 minutes off? Because people think exercise they're like I don't have two hours to spend at the gym every day. But that's not what I'm saying. I've told clients do you have a two-story house Walk?

Speaker 3: 33:23

your stairs for 10 minutes.

Speaker 1: 33:25

Really, I'm serious. It sounds silly, but you could do that. So those are the major three pillars.

Speaker 3: 33:33

Sleep Diet, diet, exercise, what are you?

Speaker 1: 33:36

going to add on to that.

Speaker 3: 33:38

Honestly, if you do those three things, you're going to feel better and you add those three things, what would be the next thing that you could potentially add.

Speaker 1: 33:45

Well then I would say and this goes into how to find help for coping with PTSD Okay, implement these things, then it's time to see a professional, because if you implement all of those things and you still are struggling, then you need to get help and this is not a Let me step back.

Speaker 3: 34:03

Yeah, One step one should be. If you really feel that you cannot accomplish those items, maybe you should find help first. Well, that helps you get to point one, point two and point three.

Speaker 1: 34:15

If you can't get those three things done on your own, yes, definitely seek professional help, thank you. That will get you to there, right? If you're doing those things and you still don't feel better, you still need professional help. Now this sounds very cliche, very trite, and it's not, but talking about things helps you process them. That's kind of the whole point of any trauma. You have to talk about it, you have to look at it, you have to examine it, we have to process it, and I know that's again that's a very relatively subjective statement, but that's how therapy works. Do you remember?

Speaker 3: 34:51

the television show, dear John, I do. And the therapist, yes. Her number one question to everybody Do you have any sexual problems? I can't remember the actress, but it was that always stuck with me for some reason. Because that show, because everyone needs a therapist at some point in their life.

Speaker 1: 35:12

I've said this and I'll say it. I probably should say it every show. It should be like some in the intro or something. But everybody's fucked up. Yeah, everybody has issues they can deal with. Right, everyone should be talking to someone Responsible professional that's a therapist.

Speaker 3: 35:31

Right, and we've had episodes in the past If you don't have the insurance that's going to cover said services there are there are places like community mental health that have-. Yeah, you've got your Easterseals out there, you've got organizations that are there to help you get into those needs that you have Well, and I will vent a little bit.

Speaker 1: 35:52

I know we're You're fine. Yeah, I will vent a little bit because that there's this big. There's this big, how do I say it? Um, uh, what's the term for lip service? That's, that's the term I'm looking for. There's this big lip service out there that mental health is so important. We need to get people more mental health. The problem is nobody's doing anything to make that happen.

Speaker 3: 36:16

No, I will actually disagree. There are a lot of people out there trying to help that, but there are. There are things that are happening that are pushing back, and people are agreeing with it.

Speaker 1: 36:29

Because here's the thing people still have now, now and again. I'm going to share. I'm going to self disclose a little bit here, okay, but I'm a business owner. I'm going to self-disclose a little bit here, but I'm a business owner, I'm self-employed. I have to buy insurance on the marketplace. I have an $8,000 deductible for medical services For your practice, for me, for you personally.

Speaker 3: 36:49

Individually Medical coverage. Holy shit.

Speaker 1: 36:52

My deductible is $8,000. My wife's deductible is $8,000. And my son's deductibles 8,000 and my son's deductibles 8,000. And that's just because of the. It's just based on the plan we have. Wow, because? So? So here's the thing. Think about that. Eight grand. Many of my clients have deductibles and copays and it makes it very difficult for them to consistently receive mental health treatment.

Speaker 3: 37:17

I 100% agree. Yeah, but my mind is blown over here.

Speaker 1: 37:22

Oh, that's not unusual. Wow, that's not unusual at all. Right now, if you're self-employed or you're buying plans off the marketplace, you don't have an employee sponsored plan. Right, that's what you're looking at See me myself.

Speaker 3: 37:35

I'm always used to that employee sponsored plan Right, that that's what you're looking at. I'm all I see. I mean myself. I'm always used to that employee sponsored, absolutely. I'm used to a fifteen hundred dollar deductible.

Speaker 1: 37:41

Right Annually.

Speaker 3: 37:42

Right Eight grand is blowing my mind yeah.

Speaker 1: 37:45

It really means you're paying cash for health insurance for everything, for everything. Yes, unless there's a catastrophic thing that happens. So really honestly a new liver and I've said this to my wife. I said really, what we have is catastrophic insurance. That's the only way we're going to benefit from this insurance company is if there's something catastrophic. Otherwise it has not happened yet it's not there. Yet People are. We have people that make an appointment at our clinic. We schedule them. They come in the first visit and they say your co-pay is 30 bucks. I can't afford that.

Speaker 3: 38:31

See, I have a problem with that.

Speaker 1: 38:33

Well, here's my thing If it's beneficial for you, you'll find a way to afford it. But beside the point, or they have a deductible. This is the big one. People come in and they'll say, oh, you have a $2,000 deductible, so your first session is $150. They're like, oh, I'm not going to pay that, and they walk out. It's motivating people not to get help because they don't want to pay. That's the problem. So that's my whole sidetrack on health insurance and mental health coverage and things like that.

Speaker 2: 39:08

It is a racket, it is.

Speaker 1: 39:10

And I wish there would be some serious advancement or progress as far as changing insurance laws.

Speaker 3: 39:19

That's the term I'm looking for. I'm looking for a specific term. They just need to rewrite the whole system.

Speaker 1: 39:24

Yeah, we need to start from scratch. Really, we do. Good luck, and I'll tell you. Here's the one thing Optum Insurance, that's an insurance company that we deal with. Do you know what their profits were last year?

Speaker 3: 39:39

$2.4 billion.

Speaker 1: 39:41

That's it. You got it right on. Did you read that article? I did not. Oh, I just took a wild guess. It is $2.3 something billion. That's the.

Speaker 3: 39:52

And who Profit, profit and who is?

Speaker 1: 39:55

That's one insurance company out of hundreds, if not thousands, across the country. And who benefited from that? The insurance companies, exactly, absolutely Not who they covered.

Speaker 3: 40:05

No, no, I totally pulled that out of my ass.

Speaker 1: 40:09

No, you're almost right on. I mean, that's a great guess. Okay, so I gave you some tips to put into place that you can implement. The big thing is, if you're experiencing any of these symptoms, I should have put a pinky up to my face.

Speaker 3: 40:27

You should have $2,000 billion. Yeah, should have Go on.

Speaker 1: 40:34

I apologize, so no, my point is that oh good for you.

Speaker 1: 40:38

So my point is if you're dealing with any of these issues, any of this stress, any of these PTSD, any traumatic events, you need to take care of it, Because if you just let it go, it's affecting you and you won't even know it. You'll have these symptoms. You'll be like what the hell is going on, Right? So contact a professional. Again, as I mentioned earlier in this episode, find a therapist that you connect with and somebody that you trust, somebody who's good. The best way to do that read reviews. Yeah, Read the bios. Read the bios. If you go to a place and they don't have bios of their therapist on the website, don't go there. I'm telling you, don't do it.

Speaker 3: 41:20

We want to be transparent.

Speaker 1: 41:21

No, if there's no information, it's like oh, jim Jones, he sounds good, let me go to therapy with him. He's got Kool-Aid.

Speaker 3: 41:29

I'm going with him. Is that Jones with an apostrophe?

Speaker 2: 41:32

S no. He said yeah, we're having a retreat to malibu. No, no, guyana boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast so, all right, there's been I.

Speaker 3: 41:55

I kind of want to dig in a little bit more on the next episodes.

Speaker 1: 41:59

Okay, Next couple of episodes. We could do that.

Speaker 3: 42:01

About traumatic events, because there's so much that is involved and you've had traumatic events. I know I've had traumatic events, but there's so much more that we can dig into Sure With these topics.

Speaker 1: 42:13

We could do that.

Speaker 3: 42:14

I would love to do that with you.

Speaker 1: 42:15

Yeah, we'll do that. All right, yeah, all righty folks. That is it for this episode. Join us next Monday Facebook Live. We record live on Facebook every Monday evening at seven no Eight o'clock.

Speaker 2: 42:31

Eight o'clock Eastern Standard Time.

Speaker 1: 42:33

Eight to nine. So if you want to join us live, you can be a part of the show. You can kind of interact with us, ask questions. We have a lot of people jump into Facebook Live and join the show. If you're on whatever podcast platform you're on, join us on Facebook. You can hear us live and hear the whole show and see it. You can actually see my face Not that you'd want to, but you know it's crazy.

Speaker 3: 42:55

I only see it once a week and damn it.

Speaker 2: 42:57

I don't know. What are you people On dope?

Speaker 1: 43:01

So, before we go, our dog of the Detroit Dog Rescue of the Week.

Speaker 2: 43:06

Detroit.

Speaker 1: 43:06

Dog Rescue of the Week is Casino Casino. Casino was born in 2022, so he's just Two years old, two or less. Yeah, yeah, he's a mixed breed, neutered male, 50 pounds. He's dog friendly Cat, is unknown. Kid's older than eight Okay, his activity level is medium. Okay, but Casino needs a home. There he is.

Speaker 3: 43:28

Aw, look at Casino, he's a terrier. Yeah, he's a mixed breed.

Speaker 1: 43:32

Terrier mix, so he's probably got some other stuff in him.

Speaker 3: 43:34

but that's fine. The ears are terrier Right.

Speaker 1: 43:37

I can tell you that yes, absolutely, he's cute Casino needs a home.

Speaker 3: 43:41

Here we go, matt you can take a look at Casino, casino. Look at those eyeballs. Yeah, yeah, I see when it says activity level medium, people are like what does that throw the ball around the yard? Yeah, you've got to play a few times a day.

Speaker 1: 43:54

He's not going to tear your house apart. No, make sure he's got some chew toys.

Speaker 3: 43:58

Yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1: 44:01

So casino needs a home. Detroitdogrescuecom adopt, take a gamble and he's two, so you get him and have fun.

Speaker 2: 44:12

Oh, I get it, matt. I just got him. Oh, good for you. I'm listening to you no more. I like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you? Thank you, david. What the fuck are you doing? Great heavens, what kind of radio show is this? Oh, good for you there you go, Matt.

Speaker 3: 44:33

You are a one-button wonder tonight, man.

Speaker 1: 44:39

Jesus.

Speaker 2: 44:43

That's crazy. Oh wait, you're gone.

Speaker 1: 44:45

Yeah bye, so Facebook Live, folks we do this 8 o'clock Eastern Standard Time every Monday evening. Every Monday night Give or take some misses if we're busy or out of town.

Speaker 3: 44:56

Yeah, but follow us and have a good time with it. You know, we just we have a good time on the show. No, absolutely, and we have. Here's the thing.

Speaker 1: 45:03

And I'm going to say this and I and I've said it all along and probably not said it in a while, but there are a lot of mental health podcasts out there. There are a lot of them that that will come on and they'll talk to you for 20 to 30 minutes and it's always very calm and, oh, you're having a shame spiral. Oh, there's so much repressed anger in you.

Speaker 3: 45:25

What the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 1: 45:26

My point being is that a lot of mental most of mental health podcasts out there it's just like all psychobabble. We want to make it like real and digestible, relatable and relatable. That's why we're here and we always wanted to make it fun because, you know, mental health can be fun. It can be, you can make it fun. You can make it fun. That's my whole point. So that's the whole point of why I started this podcast is to reach people and that don't want to have a therapist just talking this foreign language to them and they're like what are you talking about? Why do you talk?

Speaker 3: 46:02

that way. I wonder if they do that with their own family.

Speaker 1: 46:04

I maybe so. So, yeah, that that that is the big thing. So, yes, definitely that this is we want to. We want to educate, we want to help, but we want to do it and have fun. That's the whole point of it. I like it. All righty, all righty folks, that is the episode. Join us next monday at 8 pm eastern standard time on facebook live or just wait for the episodes to drop on your platform. In the meantime, change your thinking, change your life, laugh hard, run fast, be kind. We'll see you next time.