Financial Stress and Anxiety - Part 3

Can open and honest conversations about money save your relationship? Financial stress and anxiety can wreak havoc on your personal life, but there are effective ways to manage these challenges. As the Motor City Hypnotist, I share my professional insights into addressing financial concerns head-on, including the importance of budgeting and maintaining open communication with your partner. I also recount my experiences from recent fairs and events, illustrating the positive impact and recognition of my work within the community. 

In this week's episode, we also cover a dramatic near-miss incident at Newark Northgate Railway Station in Nottinghamshire, UK. A quick-thinking commuter saved a toddler from an oncoming high-speed train just in the nick of time. We analyze the gripping CCTV footage and discuss the heroic actions that led to the child's rescue. This story raises broader questions about railway safety measures and the potential role of technology in preventing such near-tragic events.

We then delve into practical strategies for effective budgeting and debt management. Learn the snowball method for debt reduction and discover how prioritizing major expenses can lead to financial stability. We also touch on the critical link between financial health and mental well-being, offering mindfulness and mental health techniques to manage financial stress. This episode provides a comprehensive approach, equipping you with valuable tools to improve both your financial and mental health.

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Change your thinking, change your life!
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist

Transcript

David Wright: 0:00

In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast, we are discussing financial stress and anxiety. Those of you who have been listening, this is part three of this subject because we did two shows on it but we had more things to cover, so we made it three, which happens quite often because we get into discussions and we cover things that need to be covered, and that's just the way it is. So this is part three of financial stress and anxiety and, as usual, we'll give away some free stuff. All right, hang in there, folks, we'll be right back.

Announcer: 0:32

Get ready for the Motor City hypnotist, david R Wright. Originating from the suburbs of Detroit, michigan, he has hypnotized thousands of people from all over the United States. David R Wright has been featured on news outlets all across the country and is the clinical director of an outpatient mental health and hypnosis clinic located just south of Detroit, where he helps people daily using the power of hypnosis. Welcome the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright.

David Wright: 1:20

What is going on, my friends? This is David Wright, the Motor City Hypnotist. We're back with another episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast. Thank you, folks for checking in. We're here in the podcast your Voice, southfield Studios. You know you showed up early.

David Wright: 1:36

I did and I got to join another man Cave Happy Hour podcast, which I always enjoy. It's becoming habitual. I know I might just have to be a permanent fixture there. I mean you might have to add me to your roster, oh boy. It's just more the merrier I don't know if you guys stick me on your website.

Announcer: 1:53

It's a podcast for everyone.

David Wright: 1:55

So, yeah, we had a good time. So check that podcast out. It's always good.

Matt Fox: 2:00

Yes, it's always good.

Announcer: 2:00

We always have fun.

David Wright: 2:01

Yes, of course it was ladies' night. It was ladies' night. We had a couple guests, both females, yes, which is not unusual in the bourbon world nowadays. Not at all so fantastic that's a good time.

David Wright: 2:11

Everybody's got a palate. That is Matt Fox, the other voice you hear. Hello With us, as usual on this Monday evening. As we record, let me tell you folks, first of all where you can find me. My website is MotorCityHypnotistcom. So fair, I'm sorry. Prom and grad season is over, yes, but there are a lot of fairs coming up. I know we're already in the middle of July, but August and September are big fair months. They are.

David Wright: 2:36

So if you do have a fair and you're looking for entertainment for your fair, reach out to me at MotorCityHypnotistcom. Reach out to me at motorcityhypnotistcom. I can give you a quote in minutes. And uh, you know, most fairs I do like some fairs are three days, Some some fairs are a week. I've I've done like five days straight at certain fairs. Wow, yeah, Like three shows a day.

Matt Fox: 2:55

So yeah, one at one, one at four, one at seven.

David Wright: 3:05

Yeah, like that. Or sometimes they'll do like two evening shows like they do it, and even like an afternoon show like three, and then it show like seven and another one at nine. Wow, so that that happens sometimes too. That's fair, yeah so. So yeah, if you're in, if you're a fair committee or somebody that's in charge of hiring for fairs, um, check out the website, you can. I'll get you a quote within minutes.

Matt Fox: 3:20

Cool, absolutely you know, I've uh been friends with you for a number of years yes, yeah I know the work that you do and it is stellar, it is professional, it is not a hobby, you know a hobby of yours, this is your profession.

David Wright: 3:32

This is what I do for a living.

Matt Fox: 3:34

Yes, and you know you have. You do the shows because it's fun, but you are professional at the same time and you know what you're doing I do. That's the most important part.

David Wright: 3:45

Yes, well, and let me, let me run this by you because, matt, you bring up a good point. I just had. I was just at a, I was just talking, talking to jamie and matt, off air. Uh, in between shows here, I went to a 50th birthday party and, um, uh, there it's funny because the, the, the woman's who the, the woman whose birthday it was was a friend of Kendra's. They skated together years ago. Fair, her son, graduated from Grand Blanc last year. I hypnotized him last year at their all-night party, okay. So when I saw the kid, because she talked to me beforehand, she goes, oh, go up to my son. I'm not going to remember his name and I apologize, that's all right.

Announcer: 4:23

She says just go up to my son. I'm not going to remember his name and I apologize.

David Wright: 4:24

That's all right. She says just go up to my son, see if he recognizes you. And as soon as he saw me it was like, oh my gosh, I'm like dude, my star of my show. But I had the same conversation with a couple of people at our table because they were asking me about hypnosis and doing shows and things like that. And I give them the same short spiel that I've given on air here many times that hypnotists are not governed. There's no governing body for hypnotists, no licensing. There's no state license for hypnotists. You can get certified, but you can get certified at a thousand different places with different requirements. Some people get certified just going online and watching a video for an hour, right. So the thing is, I'm also a mental health professional. I'm a licensed therapist. That's along with being a certified hypnotherapist.

Matt Fox: 5:18

That's the important part it is Of the shows that you do.

David Wright: 5:22

Because and I'm going to say this because hypnosis, for the most part, is safe. It's a naturally occurring phenomenon that we all experience. However, some people, when they get hypnotized for the first time, they don't realize how quiet their mind can be.

David Wright: 5:40

And it can be an emotional experience for them, what's what we call an an ab reaction. A lot of times when people get in that super relaxed state, they've never felt that before and it just becomes an emotional like overwhelm for them. So you have to be, you have to be able to manage that on the fly. Yeah, with you know, I've had it happen when I've had 30 people on stage and one person is is breaking down. You've got to handle that and handle your other crowd. So let me ask you professionally.

Matt Fox: 6:08

Let me ask you how are your problem solving?

David Wright: 6:11

skills. Yeah Well, that's a good question. Yeah, right, because you have to be on your toes. You've got to be on it Head on a swivel, and if you've just memorized a show, if you're just doing it rote, you're not going to be ready for right, you're not, you're not going to know how to handle that. So anyway, okay, long story short. Yes, I am qualified, and more than qualified, and I have a mental health degree and a licensure, so that that should, it's just, it's just better. It's, it is better it.

Matt Fox: 6:36

It elevates you to the proper need for a show in a large group, because I know we've absolutely that where hypnotists lose control of, yes, of a, of a large group Cause I know we've talked about that where hypnotists lose control of a group, of a, of a large group, yes, so it means that you're there, you can monitor, you can problem solve you know what you're doing, so that's why I really appreciate it when I appreciate you saying that, matt, cause that's a good thing to bring up and remind people that if you just do a search for hypnotists, that if you just do a search for hypnotists, you don't know what you're going to get.

David Wright: 7:04

So the biggest thing, and I say this go to somebody's website, read their qualifications, their credentials, see video. If you don't see video, ask to see video, because if you go to a hypnotist site and they have no video on their site, there might be a reason for that. They probably confiscated it when they put them in jail, but you know when the mothers had a complaint. You know, I don't know Right, whatever, but so, yes, motorcityhypnotistcom, check that out, especially if you're looking for a show. My social media links Facebook and YouTube are both Motor City Hypnotist and on Snapchat and the Instagram, motor City Hypno. That's H-Y-P-N-O.

David Wright: 7:47

Love that and, as we do every single show that we've done all the way back to show number one text the word hypnosis to 313-800-8510. You'll receive a free hypnosis guide. It's just a PDF basic, but it gives you a good overview of what hypnosis is, how it works, why it works, myths and misconceptions, and you can get that for free. The other thing is, when you do this, when you text the word hypnosis to 313-800-8510, you'll get a text message with that download, that PDF download, and you also get a link for a Google review for me, the Motor City Hypnotist. Perfect, so you could, and it'll say thanks for coming to my show. The show could be here. This is a podcast.

Announcer: 8:29

This is a show, or it could be a live show so, either way, you can leave a review.

David Wright: 8:32

Love that, and that helps me out tremendously. All righty, I think that's everything out of the way. Okay, I think it's time, man, here we go. That's how winning is done. Thank you, sly. Yes, yes, sir, what do you got All right? You know, when I read these stories, oftentimes they give away the whole story in the first line.

David Wright: 9:04

So I was kind of you know, but I'll just read it the way it's written and then we can. We can go over it, okay. Um, this was a heart-stopping moment. A toddler was saved by a hero commuter after the toddler fell onto the rail railway line seconds before a high-speed train thundered past.

Matt Fox: 9:22

Okay for one. Where is this at, Do we know yet?

David Wright: 9:26

Yes, we do. Cctv footage captured the dramatic near-miss at Newark Northgate Railway Station in Nottinghamshire last month.

Matt Fox: 9:38

So Nottinghamshire, uk, uk, all right, because I'm thinking fast trains. I'm thinking, you know, thinking Asia, europe area, oh, like bullet train type things. Yes, yes, yes.

David Wright: 9:50

The 36-second clip shows the three-year-old boy walking behind two adults before running to the edge of the platform. He appears to lower himself over the edge before falling backwards onto the track oh no, over the edge. Before falling backwards onto the track, oh no. The man who was with the child is seen sprinting across the platform while a hero bystander leaps onto the line and lifts the boy to safety. Just 20 seconds later, a train speeds through the train station without stopping. Jesus, yeah, I know, 20 seconds seems like a long time. It's not, but it's not when you have a train barreling down and there's a three-year-old laying on the tracks.

Matt Fox: 10:29

I got to go on. Go on, Because already I'm going okay, why and what? If and why not? Yeah.

David Wright: 10:36

I think the fact that a train came through the station at a speed just seconds after emphasized just how awful the outcome could have been said station customer service assistant, Olivia Timms, who saw the incident. Thankfully, everyone made it home safely that day and we want to make sure that happens every day. In a second incident, passengers are seen leaving a train when a child falls through the gap between the train and the platform next to a station guard. A crowd gathers as the guard desperately pulls the young passenger to safety. Already this year, eight safety incidents involving children have been recorded at these types of train stations In the UK. Yeah, All right.

Matt Fox: 11:18

So that's the story. I'm very, very, very happy that this three-year-old's life was saved by a commuter total stranger.

David Wright: 11:29

Yeah, just somebody who just jumped up and jumped down there and took action, right.

Matt Fox: 11:33

The railway. It's not electric, so they were not electrocuted. I don't believe. Well, that's a good question.

Announcer: 11:40

They weren't.

David Wright: 11:41

Whenever we read these stories, we always have questions. We do I want to know more. I know, I, I know but for 20 seconds later.

Matt Fox: 11:48

Shouldn't there be some type of a sensor of some sort that there's somebody on the tracks when you're that close to shut the train down, so it at least slows down to give folks more time?

David Wright: 12:00

I, I'm just, I'm, yeah, I'm, I'm, yeah, I don't, I'm, I'm not an engineer there.

Matt Fox: 12:05

I know you're not a train engineer. That's my, that's my engineering side of me coming out.

David Wright: 12:09

Yeah, absolutely that left side of my brain, just like hey, but but you know the the other thing that I've, and I always thought about this, even just like when you go around um cities with subways- or even even like Detroit, that we don't have. We don't have a subway system, but we have the people mover, which is above, above. It's kind of a subway above ground that that circles through the city. Um, but I've always wondered why isn't there like safety turnstiles at at these edges of these platforms?

David Wright: 12:38

right like you can't get through it until the train is stopped and they unlock like you're good, like you're getting on a ride.

Matt Fox: 12:43

Yeah, like you're got an amusement park.

David Wright: 12:45

Yes, and that's what made me think of it. Every amusement park has these gates you have to go through.

Matt Fox: 12:50

You can't welcome to the future.

David Wright: 12:53

It's, it's just weird, but uh, but yeah to the kid, who's? Who's good, he's, he's fine, and and the uh, the person who jumped in and helped him, you know it's just it's just a good story.

Matt Fox: 13:05

Thank you for saving the child's life.

David Wright: 13:06

Absolutely.

Announcer: 13:16

That's how winning is done.

Matt Fox: 13:17

We need to stop being such Debbie Doubters and just celebrate.

David Wright: 13:21

I know, we are celebrating the victory. We are. It's just that sometimes you have questions about things, yeah, and I hate to say this, but but I do this with and I don't I don't know if it's a bad thing or a good thing, I probably depending on who you're talking to. But you know, I'll, I'll see a news story. I'm like I have so many, yeah, like like I'm just getting like bare bones information here. I want to ask questions. You know, yeah, I've got questions every day.

David Wright: 13:48

You know, here's the don't do it. No, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it, don't do it. I'll decide against that. All right, it's nothing bad. I'm going to say it because I'm making it seem like it's a big deal. It's not Go on Like I'll hear a story about somebody who loses their house to a fire, which is tragic and it's terrible, and I hate for anybody who's gone through that. I have the utmost empathy for you. But the first question that pops in my head is I hope they had insurance. Well, you know what I'm thinking.

Matt Fox: 14:20

I mean, if your house burns down, right, Well, you know what I'm thinking I mean, if your house burns down, right, it's better to have insurance and not need it than have it. You know what I mean.

David Wright: 14:30

Right, it's better to have it, but that question shouldn't be the first thing that comes to my head, because you know, a lot of times they'll do a GoFundMe or finance it to help the people and relocate them and give them a hotel and I'm always like don't they have insurance?

Matt Fox: 14:43

I don't know Well they. If they do have insurance, you know, then insurance should pick up the hotel bill.

David Wright: 14:49

Well, it might, might take time for that to happen. You got, so I get it.

Matt Fox: 14:53

You got remediation, you've got time you've got inspections you know. So, going back to the original point, yeah, we always have questions when we hear stories, which is fine, that's, it's not a big um. So to get back to what we're talking, about when it comes to insurance. What have you?

Matt Fox: 15:13

we're talking about financial stresses and the mental stress that it can cause yes, absolutely, and because that is a very stressful time if you don't have insurance because you can't afford it, or you just don't have it and you're going to need it. You're causing yourself additional stress. So, absolutely, where did we leave?

David Wright: 15:28

off. So we left off last time talking about the cycle of financial stress and poor mental health, okay, and and just, we're just gonna I'm not gonna redo the whole last show, but just hit on a couple of things. It's, it's, it's this vicious cycle, and that happens that you're overwhelmed, you're stressed out, you're anxious because of money, and then you have more money problems, which adds to the stress and anxiety which makes it more difficult to earn more money or to figure out what you're going to do, and, yeah, and that spiral can put you in a really bad position mentally and emotionally, and financially, of course. I, um, I mean honestly think about it. If you're, if you're, constantly worried and stressed about money, how do you focus on your job each day? How do you have have, uh, positive, interactive relationships with all of that stress and that worry?

David Wright: 16:18

And this is this is one of the biggest factors I see when I work with couples. Okay, this is one of the biggest factors I see when I work with couples. Okay, it's financial issues. Yeah, and it's not necessarily one person's fault or the other, although it can be at times, it can be both. But when you have financial struggles in a marriage or in a relationship. It causes so much friction, it causes a lot of arguments, it causes a lot of worry and conflict and, unfortunately, a lot of relationships end because of money issues.

Matt Fox: 16:47

The best solution that I can think of is being open and honest with your partner, your wife or what have you. You have to be able to express how you feel about the financial stresses that you are feeling.

David Wright: 17:04

And absolutely that would be a great idea, matt. Here's what the problem is, though. Usually, when people get into money trouble, they don't want to talk about it because they're embarrassed, they feel like they failed, they don't think they can recover. It's like you just don't want to, and, plus, by talking about it, you have to acknowledge it, and that brings on a lot of times. A lot of people handle stress by avoiding it, by avoiding the issue, not talking about it, not thinking about it, and it just gets worse.

Matt Fox: 17:35

Avoidance is the bane of that entire scenario Absolutely, absolutely correct. And here's the thing. Scenario absolutely, absolutely correct. And here's the thing if you are having money stresses, you lose a job or you're thinking about leaving your job. You know what? Are you going to do? You need to plan for those things. If you just lose a job and you're not expecting to, then that you know you have to.

Matt Fox: 17:55

Well, sure it's a surprise you don't know right but you have to be flexible enough to know how to pivot and let your partner know, your spouse know, that this is what's happening. If you try to keep that a secret, that's going to cause more problems down the line. Absolutely, and that's why I say you have to be open and honest. Yeah, because if something happens you need to be. If you're the major breadwinner, guess what you have to tell them because they're going to continue their, their own habits and their own spending habits absolutely and now you're going to stress yourself out even more well.

David Wright: 18:29

And it's funny you say that because and and matt, you're in finance, you'll, you'll understand this. I've had clients and I'll just I'm going to use a conglomeration of of numerous clients to give this example, because it's that they're very similar stories people realize they're in a financial issue now. Maybe it's because they ran up credit card debt. They don't have access to any more additional, additional credit, or maybe they I don't know that. There's all kinds of things that you know, a job change or something, yeah, but but here's, here's what typically in in with a lot of clients that I'm gonna putting into this one example.

David Wright: 19:05

I've had clients say to me well, yeah, I, I we're way behind and we have no foreseeable way to make this up. So they start, and they even sit my office and say okay, so I cut off my, my house phone and my cable and my uh, you know, and while all of those are okay, it's, you're just, it's just too little, too late, it's scratching the surface, yes, it's not getting to the root issue because and for a recovery like that to happen, you have to cut way back and it's got to be over long term. You're not going to shut off your, your cable for three months and that's not going to resolve the issue.

Matt Fox: 19:41

You can shut down, you can shut down. You can shut down netflix well, you get extras, paramount things like that hulu uh-huh apple tv satellite, satellite cable you can cut those extracurriculars off and just go to basic cable, right, so you at least still have some type of entertainment.

David Wright: 19:58

Right, exactly something but but, but. The point being is that when you start just knee-jerk reacting to a financial crisis, it's not going to be enough. There has to be some drastic change.

Matt Fox: 20:11

Hey honey, can we watch that VHS of Dune one more time?

David Wright: 20:17

I don't know. It's stuck in the player. We'll see if we can get it moving. Tracking, tracking, tracking the vertical hold hops. But if you move your head, it moving, tracking, tracking. Tracking the vertical hold hops. But if you move your head up and down real fast, it looks still so anyway, financial stress is one of the most damaging things that can happen as far as stress and anxiety goes. So what we're going to talk about here is we're going to talk about coping strategies, how to manage financial stress if you happen to find yourself or your family in this situation. Okay, coping. So here's the big thing. It sounds very simple and honestly I'm just going to say this A lot of mental health issues are simple If you just do the things that your therapist or your health professional or even your spouse or your friends Can I go on a limb and say common sense Sometimes but it's really.

David Wright: 21:13

You have to take action. Things don't get better if you don't do anything. Well, avoidance is avoidance. Again, we go back to the avoidance thing. So, one of the one of the first things you need to do I don't care if you're in the midst of a financial crisis and you don't know how you're going to make your house payment next month First step make a budget.

David Wright: 21:34

Creating a budget is that's number one, because you don't know how bad things are until you see it on paper and you can do the math. If you do the math and you realize that, huh, you know we're short $500 every month. Well, you know what you got to go on. You got to make changes at that point. Yeah, when you see that you have to make the change, you can't just wait and hope it gets better. So a budget is number one. And and that's and here's where we go back to the need to be transparent and honest and and when you do a budget and your partner says, oh yeah, I have this other credit card that's at like $5,000 that maybe you didn't know about, but that's, that's the time to bring these things up that's when you have to put it on paper and weigh it and budget and see how bad it is.

Matt Fox: 22:29

I can't tell you how many seminars I did around budgeting and always working in savings into that and you've worked into that savings already. You should have at least six months of your monthly expenses saved up so you don't feel that financial stress.

David Wright: 22:49

But creating that budget it can be very eye-opening Well, and it can be very scary, because again you're examining exactly where you're at, how things are going. If they're not going well, you have to look at it.

Matt Fox: 23:02

You have to do it, and I would always tell folks you need to put your biggest expenses on your budget first, and then you work in the small things. Yes, now, when I say small things, I'm talking about those subscriptions.

David Wright: 23:14

Yeah, and what happens? Streaming services, cable, apple TV or whatever, you know what?

Matt Fox: 23:19

one of the biggest expenses in a household is and it's not your house payment it's the biggest asset that you have, but it's not your house payment. Do you know what it is? I'm going to say utilities, groceries.

Matt Fox: 23:30

Groceries, yes, groceries is one of your biggest expenses in your household. So then you have to budget yourself and understand okay, there's sales, coupons, coupons, so you have to start really dialing it in. Yeah, and that's part of your budget. There's so many facets to creating a budget. Yes, and you have to put those biggest expenses first, absolutely, and groceries is one of those biggest expenses and that stresses you out because you might have stuff that you're used to that you can't have anymore.

David Wright: 23:59

Well, and what's going to happen when you make a budget? When you start off, it's going to feel very confining and constricting and restrictive. The walls will fall in on you, yes, but it's better to feel that way than to not know if you're going to have a house to live in in two months. Absolutely fair, absolutely fair. That's number one. Number two is managing your debt. Yes, look at where your debt is. Where is it going? So there are a couple of assumptions to be made here. Assume that you're always going to have a house payment, okay, or rent, rent A place to stay, because most people don't pay off their houses until they're well into their 50s, 60s, 70s, right? So just assume that debt is going to be there A car payment or a lease, that's kind of a given. You've got to have transportation, so that's probably a typical expense you're going to have. But managing the other debts and here's the things that I'm telling you that's killing you is any kind of high-interest credit card debt.

Matt Fox: 25:06

I'm sorry, can you afford 30?

David Wright: 25:09

no one can afford 30, that's what that's. That's why you end up paying for 40 years on this credit card. Can you afford zero percent, david? No, not, not indefinitely, because that zero percent is not it ends and this goes back, man, and again. I'm going to get on a whole financial soapbox here, but this goes back to the 2008 housing bubble burst Because you had all of these interest-only loans that expire. You pay interest-only for 10 years, then your real payments start. Oh, you mean balloon loans?

Announcer: 25:41

Yeah, they can call them balloon, or they can call them arms.

David Wright: 25:45

Yes, adjustable rate mortgages or no interest rate arms or zero interest rate arms.

Matt Fox: 25:49

Yes, your adjustable rate mortgages, those were killer.

David Wright: 25:51

And so many people were in those back in the day and I know for a fact because I've seen it, I have friends and clients they were doing these NENA loans no interest. No, I don't understand how that was ever a product that people thought would be safe.

Matt Fox: 26:13

There's a reason why the bubble burst.

David Wright: 26:15

Well, yeah, exactly, that is a reason.

Matt Fox: 26:17

That's the reason I have a $300,000 home and I make crafts, yeah right, I sell on Etsy.

David Wright: 26:25

Not that that's a bad thing.

Matt Fox: 26:26

I'm not slamming that.

David Wright: 26:27

There's no income.

Matt Fox: 26:29

Barely any income at that.

David Wright: 26:30

Not to cover that. There's no income, barely any income at that. Not to cover that.

Matt Fox: 26:40

So debt management is the second thing that you have to say. Okay, how can I reduce my?

David Wright: 26:42

debt other than making my monthly payments.

Matt Fox: 26:43

There are ways to do that, but you have to look at. You can either look at the interest rate first, or you look at the highest payment first, or you look at the lowest payment first. Or you look at the highest payment first, or you look at the lowest payment first. There are ways to eliminate debt based on what your budget actually is. So if you want to try to get rid of debt and you can afford that higher interest rate payment, that's where you put your focus at. Put your focus at, and then you take whatever was being, whatever you were paying to that card, that interest rate, that you take that $350 monthly payment and you take it to the next one down and you apply that to the minimum payment and that's how you reduce that debt. The same thing is for going from bottom up. Okay, so there are ways to manage it, but it has to fit in your budget so you don't lose a lifestyle, and that's why budget is number one.

David Wright: 27:36

Know what you make, know what you have going out. Now we can focus on managing the debt that you have Now. Here's the thing A lot of people balk, especially clients. Now, I'm not a financial advisor.

Announcer: 27:46

I don't give financial advice.

David Wright: 27:48

Neither am I. I'm just saying that I'm a therapist, but I try to help people, so I will give them suggestions. Like you have like four different credit cards, all with like four or $5,000 balances, look for a low interest rate card. Consolidate all that debt and at least for a year you're going to have an interest rate of like 8% as opposed to 28% you have to be careful with that Well you do.

Matt Fox: 28:15

You really, really have to be careful with that, because if you have that much debt, your credit score is not going to get you what you actually want. That's where you go to these money lenders that have a higher interest rate, but you're consolidating that debt, so you're making all of that unsecured debt a bigger unsecured debt. You have to be very careful when you play that game.

David Wright: 28:38

Well, and that's why I said definitely speak to a financial advisor, because that's not-. Talk to your local banker, they know this. Yes, absolutely.

Matt Fox: 28:47

Advisors. Typically they're more retirement based, where a banker is more versed. I was a financial wellness advisor, so I would talk about building credit yes, you know creating that budget, preparing for the home ownership. That's your where, your banker, your local banker, who you would actually call if you have a problem with your checking account. Yeah, that's the person you want to sit down with, because they have resources that you can put your fingers on very quickly and learn.

David Wright: 29:15

And here's the other thing that helps when you start increasing your credit score. You now have availability to get better deals and better interest rates and you can do things Now. I've done this in the past. I will admit total disclosure in in my twenties my credit was terrible because I was in college and didn't care and got a couple of credit cards and I thought you were perfect. No, no, sometimes, um, but but later on in life I've I've done this like I would have a card like at 3000, I'd be like, okay, but I have another card that has no, no money on it, but the interest rate is two percent less. So I just transfer the balance. You play the lower interest rate.

David Wright: 29:56

But I make sure that when I do that, this other card doesn't get you, doesn't get used however, you can't add on but a lot of people can't.

David Wright: 30:04

But see, that's the thing. You've got to have a solid, specific reason plan in place and you have to follow it. Yeah, you can't fall into oh, I just paid this card off, now I could use it for this, and it's like no, the point of paying it off is to leave it now. You don't want to close it because that affects your credit as far as your available credit goes. Again, not a financial advisor, I'm not giving financial advice, just saying it from experience. Tips, that's all it is. Yeah, so, so you've done your budget. You talked about debt management and how to resolve some of those.

David Wright: 30:38

The problem now is that there's still the stress and anxiety. How are we going to get out of this? How are we going to make it work? And this is this day-to-day stress and anxiety. So you have to start implementing other I mean mental health techniques that will work in any situation. Being mindful, uh, meditating, deep breathing, exercising, journaling all of these things are going to help you get out to that, that anxiety and that stress and and that that feeling of of being buried, right, so you have to do something for your mental health now, when I say these things, I and I get pushback from clients a lot. They're like really mindfulness. I'm like, no, it sounds trite and it sounds cliche, but you've done what you can do as far as the budget and you're managing your debt. Now you have to take care of your own mental health. That goes along with it, and the better mindset you're in, the better you're going to be able to follow these plans that you put in place to be out of debt or free from financial stress at some point.

Matt Fox: 31:46

The mindfulness is being honest with yourself. That, too, and what you are actually having to cover. That's the mindfulness part of it. When they say really mindfulness, no, it's a very true statement. You have to understand exactly what you have coming in and then going out. Yeah.

David Wright: 32:06

That's the mindfulness part. Well, and some people and again I even go back because my experience is with I talk to people every day. I've heard everything over the last 32 years I've been practicing Sure and I even have people that are like and I'm not saying there's a right or wrong, but even like a couple will come in and one or the other will say oh, I have no idea how much money we make, I just give my check to my spouse and they handle everything Right Now. If that's the arrangement you have, that's fine, as long as the spouse that's handling it is doing it correctly.

Matt Fox: 32:38

You say correctly, I say responsibly. Oh, better word.

David Wright: 32:42

Okay, better word, matt. You're right, I say responsibly yes.

Matt Fox: 32:45

Where you're able to actually put a couple bucks aside into that savings account for that rainy day fund or whatever you want to call it. You have to have some type of savings set up so you can alleviate the financial stress and then, which would alleviate the mental stress.

David Wright: 33:02

so the whole, the whole point of this is that if you're going to change the stress and anxiety around money, you have to change the way you interact with money. That, and it's not just we're going to do this for a month and we'll be good no, for the rest of your life. Wait, it doesn't grow on trees. No, but I'm saying these changes have to be permanent. Once you make them, you stay on that, you don't veer off again, because it's easy for people to say I'll give you an example acquaintance years back filed bankruptcy.

David Wright: 33:41

difficult, it's tough, uh, but numerous times okay, numerous times I felt like so so this is not somebody I I have any contact with right now. So I don't think with right now, so I don't think it's any. Like I said somebody who's way back in my past. But what they would do is the family would just take vacations every year what, charge up twenty thousand dollars on a vacation what? And then file bankruptcy what that that that works, it's.

Matt Fox: 34:09

It's worked three, four times what the, what the actual f man.

David Wright: 34:13

That's terrible they're playing the system yeah I mean really, that's really what that is. My credit's already shot, let's go on vacation all right yeah, let's take the cash that we have that we could pay debt off with and we'll just go have fun. So so again that that's an extreme example.

Matt Fox: 34:31

That is a very extreme example that's playing the system to the system's detriment.

David Wright: 34:36

But again, that person is never going to have good credit. No, Because if you're constantly rolling through bankruptcies every seven years, it's not going to work.

Matt Fox: 34:44

I've filed Chapter 13 14 times. How much is that now?

David Wright: 34:50

So the biggest thing is you have to take action. Now here's what I and again, my recommendation is get a therapist. They're not, again, they're not financial advisors, but they can help you through the emotional and behavioral part of this. Help you to recognize them, because if you're constantly in debt, if you're constantly behind, there's something going on there. It's a behavioral, mental health issue. Otherwise you would change.

Matt Fox: 35:19

It's a behavioral issue because of your relationship with money and how you handle it Absolutely, and that's where that therapist can help you to understand your relationship with it.

David Wright: 35:30

Well, and again, most people's relationship with money develops in childhood. Did you grow up in a home that had money? Did you grow up in a poor home? That changes your whole concept of how to interact with money. Sure, I 100% agree, right? So the biggest thing if you're in some kind of financial dire straits, it's important to take these steps and, again, definitely talk to a professional, because you need to work through the emotional and mental health part of this, because you can. And it's difficult because you have to admit, in a way, you have to admit failure, just saying, hey, I screwed up, I want to get back on track. How do I do that? Sure, and that's how you focus on it.

Matt Fox: 36:12

I want to get back on track. How do I do that? Sure, and that's how you focus on it as someone who has put themselves through that. You know you were saying in your early 20s, you know you weren't very good, you know what? Yep, what?

David Wright: 36:20

five years ago I was in a very precarious situation Well, yeah, but and this can happen through life changes, not out of even bad choices on yourself. If you get a divorce, that affects things, If you have some kind of financial crisis where I don't know, you lose your job.

Announcer: 36:38

You lose your job yeah absolutely.

David Wright: 36:40

That's going to be a financial stress yeah.

Matt Fox: 36:42

That's the problem. There's a lot of facets to what we're talking about, and that's where your therapist can help you through those yes, through the emotional and the mental health part of it. They won't give you tips on how to do it, but they'll help you to understand why you need to.

David Wright: 36:56

But they can point you in directions on people to talk to. Like Matt said, talk to a banker, get a financial advisor. You know, start changing the way. Like you said, we have to change your relationship with money.

Matt Fox: 37:07

Yeah, you know, you said that, I just reiterated.

David Wright: 37:08

Oh, okay said that.

Matt Fox: 37:13

I just reiterated oh okay, well, we both said it, so we're both good, but get someone that you trust when it comes to whoever you're going to talk.

David Wright: 37:16

Well, no, absolutely anytime. Anytime I say to people go see a therapist. It's not that easy. You might go through four or five. Honestly, it could happen like that, uh, but you have to find somebody that you know can help you and that you click with and if that therapist has a hang in there kitty cat poster, run go to a doctor therapist, Cause they're not doing very well.

Matt Fox: 37:35

If they're using a poster with a little kitty cat saying hang in there, it just doesn't work.

David Wright: 37:42

I, would, I, would, I. I've seen a lot of things in therapist's office. I don't think I've ever seen that.

Matt Fox: 37:47

You haven't seen the kitty cat hanging from a rope saying hang. You haven't seen the kitty cat hanging from a rope saying hang in there, all righty folks.

David Wright: 37:53

That is our financial stress and anxiety episodes. Yeah, finished up on part three. Part three we did it Not in four, yep, so we're close. Before we depart, our website's back up at Detroit Dog Rescue, woo-hoo. And in honor of Eminem's new album Okay, have you listened to it yet? I have not listened to the entire album it's streaming on Spotify right now.

David Wright: 38:17

It started a couple days ago. The whole album, the whole album. Yeah, I went through the whole thing over the weekend. I know Houdini, yeah, houdini, which is a great throwback to Without Me.

Matt Fox: 38:27

Yeah, yeah, okay. So anyway, this boy needs a home. His name is slim shady. Look at that.

David Wright: 38:40

Look at that face. Can I call him marshall? You could you call him slim shady. You can call him marshall. So he's a husky lab mix currently. I love this. The size is 35 pounds putting on weight he not done yet, so he needs to exercise a little bit. Dog friendly yes, cat friendly. Unknown Kid friendly over five years old. Okay, he was just born in December of 2022. He's just about a year and a half old. Very nice. And yeah, slim Shady needs a home. Slim Shady is beautiful.

Matt Fox: 39:06

Look at him, look at those ears I know, ears, I know he looks so happy he does.

David Wright: 39:11

He's smiling. Yeah, take a look there, man. Yes, please take a look at slim shady, jamie. You want down on this. You want some slim shady at your house, jamie he's a beautiful little puppy. Yeah, the white yeah, just the bright eyes, yeah, yeah, anyway, detroitdogrescuecom uh, adopt, and slim shady needs a home.

Matt Fox: 39:33

Help them out.

David Wright: 39:34

Thank you, Alrighty folks. Those of you on Facebook live, stick around, we're doing one more episode. Those of you listening to audio, skip ahead one episode, or if it's not there, it will be there in Tuesday or Thursday, Beautiful Whatever is first. In the meantime, change your thinking. Change your thinking. Change your life. Laugh hard, run fast, be kind, We'll see you next time.