The Secret to a Strong Marriage & Stress-Free Life Revealed!
May 24, 2024
Anthony & Jhanilka Hartzog
Have you ever considered the quiet power of a heartfelt 'thank you' at home? Today, we explore how these small acts of gratitude can strengthen marriages. Recognizing daily kindnesses, like a cooked meal or a listening ear, deepens our emotional bonds.
We also discuss the balancing act couples face with careers, businesses, and raising families, highlighting gender roles and modern pressures.
In our second segment, 'Stress Less for a Healthy Life', we talk about how letting go of minor irritations can improve relationships and add years to our lives.
As we close this episode and our eight-year run, we thank you, our devoted listeners. Your stories and support have made this journey special. Here's to more laughter, less stress, and cherishing life's meaningful moments.
Don't forget to watch the full episode!
🌟 Don't forget to drop us a review to support us! Leave us A Review
Have you ever considered the quiet power of a heartfelt 'thank you' at home? Today, we explore how these small acts of gratitude can strengthen marriages. Recognizing daily kindnesses, like a cooked meal or a listening ear, deepens our emotional bonds.
We also discuss the balancing act couples face with careers, businesses, and raising families, highlighting gender roles and modern pressures.
In our second segment, 'Stress Less for a Healthy Life', we talk about how letting go of minor irritations can improve relationships and add years to our lives.
As we close this episode and our eight-year run, we thank you, our devoted listeners. Your stories and support have made this journey special. Here's to more laughter, less stress, and cherishing life's meaningful moments.
Don't forget to watch the full episode!
🌟 Don't forget to drop us a review to support us! Leave us A Review
Podcast Sponsor: If you are interested in a spot shoot us an email at info@thehartrimony.com
Speaker 2:
expressing appreciation and gratitude for your partner and the things they do strengthens the emotional connection in the marriage and I think that that's important but can be difficult because you just continue on a cycle like you just keep fun, like the person does it, and it's like all right, cool. So like you know you cook and it's like a right thing, you know, because you cook, yeah, but every once in a while it's nice to hear you know.
Speaker 2:
Thank you for that meal, it was really good yeah right, even though it's like it's nice to hear you know. Thank you for that meal. It was really good yeah.
Speaker 1:
Right, even though it's like maybe it's your standard salmon, but sometimes I was in my back salmon. Tonight I saw this Instagram recipe. I was going to ask you should I go get the salmon and make that tonight?
Speaker 2:
Because that's so good.
Speaker 1:
I think the family would enjoy this as much as me. Now, that is my sign of that might be my love language I enjoy doing it and I know we need to eat, and it's healthy and it keeps us full and and being able to do what we want to do yeah, but and I know it's important I do think it's important, but it can get lost because you're just constantly doing it.
Speaker 2:
So I think of like a kid in school sometimes, when they're like the smartest kid in class kind of take it for granted yeah, after a while, I mean you congratulate them, but you ain't doing it the whole school year. Yeah, because you're like. I just know this person is going to excel. That's what he or she does and it is what it is. But I would like to hear it sometimes, I would like to feel it sometimes that you know whatever that looks like what is something that you feel underappreciated for?
Speaker 1:
underappreciated for maybe not under.
Speaker 2:
Maybe you could be appreciated more for sometimes, but I've said this before, this is out there.
Speaker 1:
You might go viral for it. What it ain't nothing. I knew they wasn't perfect.
Speaker 2:
I know that's what they waiting for oh, I didn't say I was perfect, um, but sometimes if you can feel overwhelming or underappreciated with working a nine-to-five and the businesses, because that'd be, whipping my behind as of lately, as of lately being like five, six months these last months have been difficult.
Speaker 1:
I would say that'd be more difficult than normal my behind.
Speaker 2:
So it's different because with anthony he has the multiple businesses that we run in, multiple things that happen on the back end. Right.
Speaker 1:
I have that plus the nine to five and the multiple meetings and everything else that I have to, and I would say probably taking care of alani's on top of that too and then alani, marriage friend, like everything else you still have going on in life, right, so you still have that part of it.
Speaker 2:
And then sometimes we're like we have conversation with our coaches, we have a conversation with people, and well I'm like, yeah, I'm not, I'm going to do that. Thanks, I didn't realize that.
Speaker 1:
That's appreciation and gratitude right there. I got this done on Wednesday oh well, maybe we're recording this podcast on Wednesday. How about that?
Speaker 2:
It's been a few days, let's just say that we're recording this on Wednesday.
Speaker 2:
And so sometimes I'm just like I'm just not going to do it. And they're like, why not, you have to do the work. And I'm like, yeah, I know I do the work, I've been doing the work, but it's hard. But then it's also like it feels like you're doing everything in a business, Right? So how do we balance me having to assist with the business and having nine, nine to five? So I don't know as overwhelming, because we're both in it to win it right. Like there is no, oh, only you do her nighttime routine on both of us, or only you take her to the bathroom to potty train, or only you feed her. No, we both do that, depending on the day, depending on what's going on, whatever. So I don't feel um too overwhelmed with her. And then we also have, uh, babysitters that come and assist when we need to do something together. So that really helps as well that there is a place to take a break, as needed, when we can, at least. And uh, so the last one, what about for you?
Speaker 1:
you, oh no, I don't think. I think for me it's. It's one of those like you're the, you're the husband this kind of goes to gender roles. It's like, listen, I got to make it, it has to work, or it has to work, so I'm willing to do whatever we need to do to make make things happen. So it would be like, all right, well, Alani needs this, or she needs to be potty trained, or we this, or we got to eat food. Right, the business is still half the business.
Speaker 1:
So I just think, for for me, as a husband, I think a lot of men feel the same way and you I've seen this tweet sometimes it's like you got to be a husband, you got to be a father, you got to be a nurturer as well. People want you to be emotional. You got to be the CEO, so you got to be an a-hole sometimes, and it's like as a, as a male especially in 2020 I mean women feel the same way, where it's like you got to be the, the head honcho or the head head, b right, and you got to do all these things queen queen b, head b whatever they want to call it, but it was like as a man you got to be.
Speaker 1:
You can't be over emotional, but people want you to show emotion and stuff like that. So I would say balancing all the hats is would be challenging for me at time, from time to time.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it puts a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1:
And then you also got to make sure that marriage is functional. So I would say just the pressure of society, societal norms on men, especially men that are providers, especially when it comes to married men. I think it's just challenging from time to time, but I think I'm still appreciative and I'm grateful for the opportunity to be able to say that you know, I have a healthy marriage, I have a healthy daughter, we got healthy businesses. There are people who would like my friend. I told my friend Andre the other time. He said yo, you guys have made it Like what you guys have is what people are still looking for and if you don't appreciate that, you will always be chasing more and not recognizing what you already have like in front of you right.
Speaker 1:
So that was one of the things he always reminds me. Every couple of months he's like yo, you don't got to do this, you don't got to do that, you don't got to chase that. And he's like you already have what you were chasing. You just too, just looking back, like we have these jobs, we have these careers, we have these businesses. Five years ago, you were crying for this, you were praying for this, you stayed up every night for this, and then you have it. Now you wait, you want that thing. That's five years from today, right, and you're chasing that today. So that's what I would say.
Speaker 2:
So Okay, you said, there was one more thing.
Speaker 1:
I would say continue growth. We just spoke about that Marriage is a journey of growth and learning, embracing new experiences, challenges and opportunities, so that you can enrich your bonds over time.
Speaker 2:
So I think it just brings me to like. I'm like, yeah, eight years is a long time, but if you compare, it yeah.
Speaker 2:
I was going to say, if you're going to compare it to 20 years and no, that's not that long, right, but it is a really long time and it has flown by. We spent our eight years in a new city, away from family and friends. Now, what eight years would look like if we stayed in New York? I'm sure would be completely different. In eight years we've, you know, got a dog side hustles our way out of $114,000 of debt, we've became millionaires, we got our own home, we have three investment properties, we got a baby and another baby on the way.
Speaker 1:
So I think multiple businesses YouTube, instagram, social media.
Speaker 2:
Yes. So I think within our eight years I would say job well done, job well done. Yes, we've had ups and downs. I think our biggest ups and downs was when we lost Tony's best friend and then a year or two later we lost my uncle, which is more like my father, and then a year after we went through fertility challenges. So those have been really things that kind of like rocked our relationship, just on the emotional side of it and going through that, that part of it which I think we could do an episode on that emotional side of the fraternity journey with both of us. But anyway, that is another side of what years, what eight years, has looked like. But it has been prosperous, it has been great, it has been enjoyable, it has been loving, caring, all of the above. So I am I don't have no champagne glass, but cheers to 80 more years together and I'm excited for our 10. 80 more, yeah.
Speaker 1:
Black man on the list for about 72. That was back in the day.
Speaker 2:
My grandfather is 91 or two, so her grandfather 91 we still have that.
Speaker 1:
We still have the. We recorded an episode with him. I wasn't the best audio, it wasn't because I was still learning the mics and stuff, but you could watch it. But anyway, we never put it out. He said the reason that he's lived for so long is because he doesn't stress over little things. So guys take that. If you're thinking about getting married or you want to take anything from this episode. Try not to stress over the little things, because that will keep you alive, that will keep you healthy and that will keep you happy.
Speaker 2:
You never know what it could be. But yeah, cheers to us, cheers to us. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1:
Hopefully you guys learned something, whether you have a relationship or not. Are you thinking about this? This could be. This could be applied to business relationships, friends, family partnerships. Whatever you guys want to apply it to Make sure you guys leave us five stars, leave us eight stars for eight years. How about that? Appreciate you guys tapping in and staying tapped into us?
Speaker 2:
More than a silo podcast featuring the hard dogs. Have a good one. Peace and happy eight year anniversary to us.
