Caitlin:
Welcome to the woven well podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master of divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you on your fertility, while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started.
Caitlin:
I believe that a part of empowering and educating women is to connect them with other women who are on the same journey. That's why we'll sometimes have episodes devoted to hearing the fertility journey of one of the women who are a part of woven. Whatever your situation, whatever your fertility goal, it can feel isolating. But there is a whole community of women out there asking the same questions you are. That's why I'm excited to welcome one of the women asking those good questions to the podcast today. Anna and I began working together several years back, and it has been so fun to see her love for all things faith and fertility grow through her journey. Anna is married and has already traveled across the country several times in her almost three years of marriage with her husband, who's in the army. And she also works for the army as an athletic trainer. Over the last two years, she and her husband have been openly seeking to grow their family biologically. So Anna, thank you so much for being on and for being willing to share your story with us,
Anna:
I am so happy to do so. I, you know, I'm a big advocate for community, especially in the trying to conceive and infertility community.
Caitlin:
Because it's so needed! So I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're taking part. So why don't we start off by you sharing an overview of your fertility journey thus far? I know there can be a lot when you ask anyone that question, but anything you'd like to share with us would be great.
Anna:
Right? So my husband and I started trying to conceive pretty early on in our marriage. I had been birth control for 10 years prior to marriage got off and was told I would have no issues getting pregnant. Here we are two years later and obviously that wasn't the truth for me personally. Thankfully I met some wonderful women in my Bible study group who introduced me to Creighton. And through that, I was introduced to naprotechnology, which - what a blessing it has been because I have been able to work with wonderful clinicians in multiple practices and fields who not only share my faith and understanding, but truly advocate for the best health of women, especially those struggling with infertility issues. So I've gone through two surgeries so far, lots of supplements, lots of blood work. And even though we have not achieved a pregnancy yet, we've had a lot of non pregnancy wins and successes with my body.
Caitlin:
I love that perspective. I love that, first of all, you're already acknowledging the wins - that's a part of it, that you've learned so much about your body and about your health overall, which is great. And so on this podcast, we talk frequently about the medical side of fertility. And I know even from what you've just said, that that's been an important part of your journey, a major part of your journey as well. And of course you and I have had the opportunity to work together for years and I've seen you connect with, as you mentioned, like-minded doctors and discover more and more information about your fertility and your health. So what has that aspect of things meant to you in this journey?
Anna:
I have learned so much about my body and about women's bodies in the reproductive system, that in mainstream medicine, you don't see these doctors truly advocate for our health and are looking for the root causes of all these issues. Because even if you're not trying to get pregnant, they're trying to improve your life and the quality of it, not just trying to bandaid issues. I've had the privilege of working with three different natural doctors since I have made a few cross country moves, and I've had two surgeries with the St. Paul Institute in Nebraska. And so with that, I was early diagnosed with P C O S and Hashimotos, because my first doctor did a thorough panel of blood work as soon as I started seeing him.
Caitlin:
What a gift!
Anna:
I don't have the usual story, like I hopped right into Naprotechnology. So it's been a blessing that I didn't have to go through a lot of struggle like a lot of other women did. Cause I just found a great doctor right off the bat.
Caitlin:
Yes, and even as you mentioned earlier, them advocating for you as well, them advocating for your health from the very beginning... You're right. That is not the average story at all!
Anna:
With that, after we moved to Kansas, where I currently am, I found a great napro OBGYN doctor who's been monitoring my cycles, keeping my blood work going and you know, we haven't achieved a pregnancy. We actually suffered a miscarriage while we were here. And we looked at all that evidence and, you know, she said on your terms, we can move forward with further treatment. And so we suspected endometriosis based on my charting and some other symptoms. Which, if I didn't chart my cycles, I would not be aware of any of this, so Creighton has been a blessing
Caitlin:
Truly. It's amazing what it can reveal, isn't it? Right.
Anna:
It's been fantastic. And so with my doctor's blessing here, I was referred up to the St. Paul VI Institute in Nebraska, where I had a first diagnostic surgery to confirm the endometriosis, which we did find, and second also to do an ovarian wedge resection. So that was my second surgery was an ovarian wedge resection and then an endometriosis removal. And you know, that's been about three months now since my second surgery, and I'm feeling great. My cycles have regulated a ton. <laugh> I know we discussed the changes from when I first started to now and it's night and day. It's been fantastic.
Caitlin:
Huge, huge shifts.
Anna:
Right. And of course it's not a quick change. It's time and patience.
Caitlin:
Sure. You're talking about the, the time and the patience and yes, it does take time and patience. But with your point earlier, I wonder where you would be in your journey if you hadn't had those resources. I don't know if I've thought about that aspect of your journey so far.
Anna:
Me either. And I actually don't want to think about where I could have gone if I didn't find the right doctors at the right time.
Caitlin:
Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. <laugh>
Anna:
I don't wanna think about that.
Caitlin:
<laugh> Which is why we talk so much about getting people connected to these resources and why you're so grateful to your friends in the Bible study group for connecting you to Creighton, you know, grateful for local Napro resources and why we talk about these over and over and over again. So yes, I'm so glad you had those accesses to so many different doctors and specialties, and were able to have those surgeries that you needed. And we talk a little bit about both of those in some other episodes, if people wanna know more detail about endometriosis or P C O S. We even mention ovarian wedge resection. But I'm glad that you've seen such a change just three months out from that surgery, already noticing a night and day difference.
Anna:
It's been fantastic.
Caitlin:
So you've shared with me outside of today's episode, how your faith has been affected through this entire process. And, as you know, it can be such a challenging journey to try to grow your family biologically. It's not always what your doctor told you 'come back in a couple months!' You know, 'You've been on birth control for 10 years, but you know, it'll happen quickly.' Uh, that's not everyone's story. So I'd love for you to share with us how your faith has transformed this process for you.
Anna:
I don't think I would be where I'm at without my faith. It has played such an integral role in the choosing my providers. And, without the support of clinicians that, you know, understood where I'm coming from, that I truly wanted to value what was going on in my body, that was a huge role. But initially I was like, you know, we got this, we're gonna do this and prayed all the time to God that like, you know, bless us with a child, like I would do anything. And as time progressed, and then eventually we lost the pregnancy and we lost that child, it was really difficult. And I'm like, you know, I felt abandoned and lost. The cross of infertility is really, really hard to carry. And I prayed that, you know, take this cup from me. I don't want this. I've realized that this is God's will for me. And that's not always pretty. And it's not always the journey that you think you've going to be on. But when you realize that you have to hand it over to God and give up the circle of control. What can I control here? What perspective do I have? Where am I focused? It really, once I kind of transitioned into that mindset of I'm gonna give this to God and whatever his plan is for us, whether that be to conceive a child naturally and be able to have children biologically or not, that's okay. Not what I always like. <laugh> It's not always going to be easy. But I've been really blessed to have amazing friends who are supportive and understanding family. And like I said, people like you, who have been walking through this with me from day one. Yeah. It's a big transition and it's not easy. But once you realize that you don't have to carry this cross by yourself and that you do have, A. God, on your side. And he is just willing to be there with you every single step of the way and understand that you have friends in your church and random people that walk into your lives at the right time, you'll understand that it all works out for good. Talking about God's Providence... Like we did our last checkup and my second surgery during, actually both my surgeries, happened during a time where I was unemployed. <laugh> How perfect was that, that I was able to have the time to recover from my surgeries, not have to worry about work. And then once I was healed, I went back to work and it's like, wow, this was perfect timing. Cause how much more stressful it would've been to have to take off work and do all these things and be stressed about coming back. God gave me the time that I needed to do what I needed to do for my body. And you know, placing me close to a local fantastic doctor, here in Kansas, who would've thought.
Caitlin:
So seeing God in these very practical ways of providing.
Anna:
Yes, mm hmm.
Caitlin:
Whether it's a doctor or it is the perfect situation to have the surgery, or, you know, so obviously present in guiding and providing along the way. But also it sounds like really changing what you're praying for and what your relationship with God itself is like through this journey. You mentioned going from praying, 'Lord I'll do anything if you bless us with a child' to 'Lord, whatever your will is, be with us.'
Anna:
Mmm hmm. Absolutely.
Caitlin:
And that's a huge shift! Okay. What do you feel like it was that helped you experience that shift and made that feel open and peaceful and okay to change that prayer?
Anna:
I had a very wise woman tell me that when you're praying for something big, visualize Jesus in front of you and you literally handing that fear over or handing that desire to him and realizing that he has it in his hands and it's not on you...not about to worry about. We're not supposed to be anxious. We're not supposed to worry. We're supposed to have faith and to have hope in the promises of our Lord.
Caitlin:
Yes. Thank the Lord for spiritual mentors. <laugh> And thank the Lord for God's promises - that those are things that we can always rest on and come back to. And the promise here is not that every couple is going to have a baby. The promise here is God's faithfulness and God's goodness and richness and mercy and love and faithfulness to the end of our days and in abundance.
Anna:
Absolutely.
Caitlin:
And that that's a beautiful gift in and of itself. Not that <laugh>, it doesn't still stink. Not that the journey is not still rough and challenging with its ups and downs. But we do have the promises of God to land back on. Well, I would love to hear one piece of encouragement that you'd like to share with anyone else who may be listening who's on a similar journey.
Anna:
Right. First off, you're definitely not alone. And that's the biggest thing. It's a very isolating journey. I have been pretty open with my struggles with infertility and all these things that go along with it and <affirmative>, and you know, I'm an external processor so I share on social media and with my friends and with my families. So having someone to walk through it with you has been fantastic. The other thing is the perspective you have on it. So my wise doctor here in Kansas sat me down and said, 'you know, you have been given the cross of this. This is the cross that you have been given, but it is up to you how you carry it. What are you going to create outta this? So you can either be upset and be down and be sad, or you can take this ugly cross and turn it into something beautiful.' And so it's not always easy. I don't really like it. I have really hard days sometimes. Yeah. But I know that everything that I'm doing and have been suffering will be redeemed.
Caitlin:
Yes.
Anna:
At some point.
Caitlin:
Yes. And I love that, Anna, because it is God who redeems our stories, right? It is God who redeems our brokenness and our sufferings. And even when we have days where we can't make something pretty out of it, <laugh> You know, even when we can't make it make sense or make it look pretty or make something productive out of it, God is still redeeming and God is still good. Even in those moments too. Thank you so much for sharing all of that and just being willing to be vulnerable and open about your story online here and on the podcast. I've said this many times here at woven well, but each fertility story is unique, but the feelings and the hopes and the struggles and the fears are often the same. And so it makes a big difference for women and for couples to know that they're not alone. So thank you for being willing to share your part of your story.
Anna:
Yeah. I'm always happy to be there for other women. It's one of my favorite things to do now. It's not always the club you wanna be in, but at least you have someone to walk there with it.
Caitlin:
Now, if anyone listening would like to follow Anna's story and all she's learning, you can find her on Instagram at @empowered_cycles. And to those listening, your story may be similar to Anna's or it may be completely different. You may be single and interested in finally learning how your body works. You know, how is it designed to function? You may be a newly married and trying to avoid pregnancy. Or any other scenario! But what Anna practices and what we teach at woven natural fertility care is the Creighton method. And we use it because it works with any possible cycle for any possible goal. If you would like to learn more about that, we would love to invite you to attend our introductory session coming up in a couple weeks. It's a great online group presentation that teaches you all the basics about Creighton and what your body is actually doing. So you can find out more about that at wovenfertility.com/join-us. As always, thank you for listening as we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well.