Ep. 25: Client Story - Kate (Unexpected Pregnancy)

This episode explores a scenario every couple considers the possibility of: an unexpected pregnancy! Kate and Nick were initially planning to avoid pregnancy, but were shocked to find out they were pregnant early in their marriage! Kate shares how charting revealed the possibility of pregnancy, what helped them as they adjusted, how they experienced God in the unexpected, and whether they plan to use the Creighton system moving forward. Don't miss this one!

This episode is appropriate for all audiences.

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You can also read a transcript of this episode at wovenfertility.com/show-transcripts.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Welcome to the woven well podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you on your fertility while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started. I believe that a part of empowering and educating women is to connect them with other women on the same journey. That's why we'll sometimes have episodes devoted to hearing the fertility journey of one of the women who are part of woven, whatever your situation or fertility goal. It can sometimes feel isolating, but there is a whole community of women out there asking the same questions you are. That's why I am really excited to welcome Kate to the podcast today. I have enjoyed working with Kate for several years and am so glad that she's willing to share her story with us because it's one that all couples will consider the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy. That's right. We're not gonna shy away from it. Friends. We are going to talk about it. And Kate, thank you so much for being on and being willing to share your story.

Speaker 2: 1:21

Thank you so much for having me. I've been looking forward to this for a while.<laugh>

Speaker 1: 1:26

Yeah. So Kate, you've been using the Creighton system for a few years now and you started using it in preparation for your marriage back in 2020. So let's start off by hearing how you discovered Creighton and what you thought of it when you first got started with it.

Speaker 2: 1:45

So when I was engaged, um, my husband or my fiance at the time, and I attended a, uh, premarital Catholic retreat, um, that really just outlined like decisions we'd make in marriage. And we had a lot of discussion points, but one of the, um, talks was about using Creighton or natural family planning. And, um, as the couple talked about like what it did for their marriage and just the benefits of the system, I immediately fell in love with it. And, um, as Nick and I talked about it, like we realized this would be the like, model for us. And so I came home from that weekend. I met Caitlin or I got contacted with Caitlin and I've just really enjoyed it. Yeah. I, I love it.

Speaker 1: 2:30

<laugh> and I love that you heard about it through the church. We, we talk about so often community hearing about it through friends and I, my other favorite way for a couple to hear about it, or a woman to hear about it is through their church. So that is fantastic. And I love that you felt so supported in thinking about that aspect of your marriage, um, through your church specifically. And that's great. Okay. So when you started using the system in 2020 mm-hmm<affirmative> you were initially planning to use the system to avoid pregnancy, is that correct?

Speaker 2: 3:04

Yes.

Speaker 1: 3:06

Okay. Yes, that was the initial goal. Okay. Yes. And so why don't you tell us the story of finding out that you were pregnant?

Speaker 2: 3:14

So Nick and I get married in June of, of 2020, and I had been using the system for a couple months. Um, I was pretty confident, you know, in, um, all of my cycles and, you know, the month to month. Um, so I meet with Katelin meet with you mm-hmm<affirmative>. And after looking with my chart, you're like, Kate, you know, there is a great possibility you could be pregnant, you know, um, Nick and I were intimate, um, mm-hmm,<affirmative> newly married, you know, uh, and I, I was like, there's just no way Caitlyn, like there's I was confident. I remember. Yeah.<laugh> I, um, just for those of you, I had struggled with like a consistent cycle for about 10 years. And so that's another reason I chose Creighton, um, just to know what was going on with my body. And, um, so, you know, I meet with Caitlin. She, you know, that like you're could be pregnant. I'm like, no, I'm so confident I'm newly married. Um, and a couple weeks go by and I'm just exhausted. Like, I'm exhausted. I have a headache. I have all these what I think, period symptoms. Mm. And Nick one, night's just like, Hey, you should take a pregnancy test joking. And I'm like, great idea. Like, why not? You could, it hurt.<laugh> go to take a pregnancy test and it is positive. And we are, um, I think disbelief would be the shock. Um, initially I think we just kind of sat there and we're like, is this real<laugh>, do we need to take another? Right. Um, but I, I just, I mean, we were speechless at the time, but then obviously like the emotions settled down and we're like, okay, this is great. You know,

Speaker 1: 5:04

This is what's happening. This

Speaker 2: 5:05

Is what's happening.<laugh>

Speaker 1: 5:06

This is our reality right now.

Speaker 2: 5:09

Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1: 5:11

Oh, I love it. Yeah. Even though you all realized how you conceived the pregnancy, even though that aspect of it, wasn't a mystery, it was a shock to you. Like you just said that you could be pregnant, that, that it would happen so quickly for you all, when, you know, you felt like that wasn't a, a realistic thing. Maybe you, you kind of thought that that wouldn't happen. So it is this huge adjustment because you didn't feel like you were actively trying to have a baby, even though maybe you were not actively not trying to have a baby, as far as the system

Speaker 2: 5:49

Goes.

Speaker 1: 5:50

Yes. That, and that mentality is a huge aspect of things. So it was a big adjustment for you, all, which, which makes sense. So how did you all adjust to the reality of expecting a baby? What was that journey like for you all?

Speaker 2: 6:07

So I think, um, initially like once shock wore off often, you know, we, um, began to share the news with our family. Um, luckily like our Nick siblings and, and, you know, my, my brother, they had started planning to for their families. And so we have extended families and cousins, and that was one big thing we were excited about is knowing that like, okay, we'll be in the same family life, um, stage as, as others. And, um, like it was less intimidating, I think, you know, cause we had grown up with nieces, nephews, cousins,

Speaker 1: 6:42

Seeing that support that quickly yes. From family and realizing you've got this extended network

Speaker 2: 6:49

Yes.

Speaker 1: 6:50

To kind of raise your children with, I love

Speaker 2: 6:51

That. Exactly. Um, yes, it was so nice having family involvement. Um, and obviously we were be, we were beyond excited and nervous, but it did change so much of our first year of marriage. Mm. Um, like all the big decisions that we decided like, okay, our house that we're living in, like we may wanna look to move because we're gonna have another baby or we're gonna have a baby in this two one. Right. You know, and then we were thinking, okay, well we need to do a school system because we were gonna start our family. So I feel like our first year of marriage shifted very quickly in a, in a unexpected great way, but we just didn't anticipate it that quick. You know? Like if, if you, yes, if you had asked me, you know, what is your perfect plan, Kate, when I got married, I'd be like, okay. You know, have a first year of marriage. And then August 20, 21, Nick and I will begin to start trying mm. When mm-hmm<affirmative> it was really August, 2020 that we found out we were pregnant.

Speaker 1: 7:55

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 7:56

Yeah. So, I mean, it just, it's crazy how it all worked out so well,

Speaker 1: 8:01

It is. And I love you sharing what you envisioned as being the quote unquote perfect setup. Yes. Because you're not alone in that everyone sort of has, you know, has envisioned what that looks like for them. What starting their family, growing their family, what that looks like. They all have a timeline in their mind. Uh, that's a normal thing. Yeah. That's a normal thing. And it's a wonderful thing to have an expectation and to think about what we want it to look like and be like, um, but you learned that there's you, sometimes you have to adjust on the fly, right? Yes. It doesn't always go exactly how you anticipated, but you've shared with me how there were these little things that started falling into place in that process. Um, I'd love to hear about any of those that you'd like to share.

Speaker 2: 8:51

I think like our house that fell into place really well. Um, and the timing of that, I think even just like now looking back and having our daughter, the age she is and like where we are in this life, like, I can't imagine it any other way. And like that's, and I get, I think emotional in that, because like, it I'm so happy, you know, mm-hmm,<affirmative> like I'm genuinely every day, just grateful for like what the life I'm living right now. And like, I get to live this life, you know, I'm just so appreciative of like Nick and like his support and my, our family's support. It's just, I feel lucky, you know,

Speaker 1: 9:35

That's beautiful. That's beautiful. And I love how the very things that you were so afraid of. Yes. How are we gonna handle this with this, this move with, we are gonna need a new house. That's where you saw God provides significantly. Oh

Speaker 2: 9:52

Yes. When

Speaker 1: 9:52

You were adjusting to feeling, you know, it can often feel very lonely when you find out you're pregnant, when you didn't intend to be pregnant. Yes. And got answered by supporting you with the community of your family and your friends and other people getting pregnant at the same time. And yes. You know, all the specific things that you were so nervous about found their fulfillment, you know, you, you were able to receive comfort and peace and joy in those very things.

Speaker 2: 10:23

And I think to like a greater level than I anticipated, because I was just like, oh my gosh, I was so shocked. You know? And I think it's just the fact that like it is in, like I pouring outpouring love, you know,

Speaker 1: 10:38

I love that IPOing and outpouring of love. Ugh, that's so great. And you know what, let's go ahead and talk about this because you know, everyone's gonna wonder, uh, whether you are still a believer in the Creighton method, whether you still plan on using it, you know, anytime somebody has a pregnancy that they weren't specifically intentionally planning, that's always the first thought. So go ahead and, and give it to us. What are your thoughts?

Speaker 2: 11:04

Hundred percent. So with Grayton I love this system, love this method. Um, I don't think I'll ever do anything different the rest of my life. I'm just a huge fan of the empowerment and the knowledge it provides and just, um, it, it's just, I think the best method for me personally, you know,

Speaker 1: 11:28

That's

Speaker 2: 11:28

Right. Finding what works for you is ultimately the best. Um, but this method just, there's so many positive things to it. You know, I think it's hard a negative.

Speaker 1: 11:43

I, listen, I know you don't have to convince me I'm a big fan. Um, but that's encouraging to hear that it wasn't like, oh my goodness. Now I can't my body now I can't trust my fertility now. I can't trust God. It's the opposite of that.

Speaker 2: 11:59

Yes. Oh yes.

Speaker 1: 12:00

Oh, I see. Now that I really can use this system to understand when I'm fertile, like when we're fertile and when we're not fertile and we really can make informed decisions about that. And

Speaker 2: 12:13

Exactly. So

Speaker 1: 12:13

Pretty solid about what the result's gonna be.

Speaker 2: 12:16

<laugh> exactly.<laugh>

Speaker 1: 12:20

Oh, that's great. And so obviously God has been hugely present for you and your husband in this journey, both through pregnancy and now into motherhood, both from what we've talked about today and through, you know, previous conversations we've had. So I'm curious, has that journey with God being with you through pregnancy and motherhood, has that journey shifted how you see God's involvement in your fertility as a couple and in the shaping of your family. And it may or may not, but I'm just curious.

Speaker 2: 12:51

I really am in awe. I think of it all like of God, of the timing of the things that have unfolded the way that it has, because like I have, I feel like I have such a stronger faith from it. Um, I think it it's made me like a better wife and a better mother. And like, I just have such comfort in knowing that there is a plan, there is a reason for everything. And like, this is exactly how life should be right now. And life is, there are crazy days and crazy moments and you have those seasons, but through it all, like I'm, I'm so steadfast and like the faithfulness and like the joy that, that I feel and receive every day from like, God, you know, it's, it's amazing.

Speaker 1: 13:40

Yes. Yes. And I think if we can hear that from someone who receives such a shock yes. As an unplanned print, you know, I mean, and because unplanned doesn't mean unwelcome.

Speaker 2: 13:54

Right. Exactly. You

Speaker 1: 13:55

Know? Yes. Yeah. Uh, it was unplanned, but not unwelcome. And so, but still<laugh>, that's a huge shock and a huge adjustment. So if we can hear that from someone who walked through that, which for many couples is like their greatest fear. Yes. You know, that just feels like the ultimate out of our control yeah. Scary situation that could happen. And they do feel so bogged down by what you mentioned earlier here are all these very normal, very valid, very realistic fears. We have, uh, housing, family support jobs. Yes. I mean, these are great things to consider when you're thinking about growing your family. But what I hear you saying is that God is bigger than those things.

Speaker 2: 14:40

Oh yes.

Speaker 1: 14:41

And as the creator of life, God is going to be faithful to you and has been faithful to you and Nick through this journey. Um, so I'm so glad to hear all of that. Yes. Um, and I'm so glad that you would just be willing to share your story, you know, it's and, and hear all the ups and the downs that have been a part of it. Um, so I'd love to give you the opportunity to share anything else with listeners that you'd like to, maybe it's a word of encouragement or advice or anything that you'd like to share.

Speaker 2: 15:13

Oh, this is such a good question.<laugh> I feel like I have a million things to share, but I think, um, in today's world and I think in today's life, um, we're so quick to like look outside and compared to others, um, you know, our timelines and what we think that like would be the best for us. And I think I've learned so much that, like, if you just kind of let that envision go that, that picture then like, it's almost better in a sense that you're just enjoying it all, you know? Mm. Um, cuz I tend to get on social media and I'm like, well, you know, I don't have this or I'm not right there, this, that, and the other. And then I realize like, but I have so much more, you know

Speaker 1: 16:00

Yes. That freedom, that freedom to rest. Yes. And as you just said to find joy and contentment in what your specific life journey is. Yeah. And your specific fertility journey is

Speaker 2: 16:15

Yes.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Oh, that's great. Those are good words, Kate. Those are so good. Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for being on today. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2: 16:23

Oh, it was a pleasure. And I love this podcast and I, you know, I love Creighton. I just have loved getting to know you.

Speaker 1: 16:30

Uh well, and we love you. I'm sure everyone listening now does to, I know that for sure. Um, so listeners, I hope this has been as encouraging to you as it has been to me each one of our fertility stories is unique, but I think that through this conversation and many others that we've had before, we've seen that some trues remain the same God is present in your fertility. God cares deeply for your specific family and God's not gonna abandon you when things don't go the way that you anticipate. In fact, God will be faithful and comforting and even bring you joy, bringing you so much more good out of your situation than you could have anticipated whatever that story looks like. And I think that those are very good reminders for all of us, for every single one of us. So, um, well we would love to hear from you all. I would love to know what you think of the podcast or what episodes you'd like to see coming maybe later this year beyond. And we'd love for you to share your thoughts on the podcast, through leaving a review on your podcasting platform of choice, whether that's apple podcast, Google podcast, Spotify, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, your reviews actually help other people feel comfortable in giving us a listen for the first time. So we would love for you to see your words, uh, on a review wherever you listen to us. So thank you again for listening. As we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well.