Ep.102: Client Story - Rebecca (Secondary Infertility)

Reproductive health issues can be unexpected. For Rebecca, she was shocked to have trouble conceiving again after success on the first try with her firstborn. But what was even more frustrating was the lack of concern or attention she received from her local OB. Rebecca felt unheard, stuck, and powerless; She knew something was off,  but didn't know how to move forward. Then, a friend connected her with Woven. Listen to Rebecca story of God's faithfulness, care, and provision during a difficult season of her life.

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NOTE: This episode discusses difficulty conceiving a pregnancy and the words infertility. 

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Transcript

Caitlin: 0:06

Welcome to the Woven Well Podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master of divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you on your fertility while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started. Welcome back to the Woven Well Podcast. I believe that a part of empowering and educating women is connecting them with other women who are on the same journey. That's why we have episodes devoted to hearing the fertility journey of a woman who is a part of Woven. Whatever your situation or fertility goal, the fertility journey can sometimes feel isolating, but I assure you that there is a whole community out there asking the same questions you are. Today's guest is a perfect example of that. Rebecca and I began working together last year as she and her husband were trying to grow their family. They live in Georgia. They have a sweet daughter and are anticipating the birth of their son in 2024. I can't wait for her to share a little bit of her story with you all . Rebecca, welcome. I'm so glad that you're here.

Rebecca: 1:18

Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

Caitlin: 1:21

Let's just start off by you telling us a little bit about yourself. Anything you'd like to share.

Rebecca: 1:26

I love things like hiking. I love being outside. Our family's very active. My husband's name is Tyler. We've been married for seven years. Like she said, we have a daughter named Emerson, who is four and a half . We have a bernedoodle named Ava. So yes, we just are really close to one another and we just love to have fun, be outside, and I'm just really excited to be here today and to share our story.

Caitlin: 1:54

Yeah, I am too. One of the things I love is, as Rebecca and I were chatting beforehand, she said that she listened to the podcast before she started working with Woven to try to see if there were other stories like hers too. So , I love that. And that's what we're doing again today. So before we started working together, where were you on your fertility journey?

Rebecca: 2:17

So, I honestly, before we worked together, I was in a place where I felt very kinda stuck. Like I had in my head, I knew there was something, there was another option for me out there, and I just didn't, I wasn't being presented with it. And , I was kind of just in a place where feeling like what I was told was normal or kind of like the, the normal path I should go down didn't feel right. I didn't feel like at peace with it. And so , it was seriously just such a gift from God when I learned about Woven and everything that you had to offer because I was like, this is exactly what I felt like was out there and just didn't know about. So,

Caitlin: 3:01

Yeah. And I'm so sorry that you felt stuck, but I love that you had that instinct that there was another path out there and you just weren't hearing it, but you trusted that it was an option. So what did connect you with Woven? What was it that you heard about us, or what services did we offer that really struck a chord with you?

Rebecca: 3:23

Honestly, I think the initial thing was that I, in a weird way, it was because I didn't know anything about it. And it's what made me really curious was , I had a friend who introduced me to you because she had a sister that worked with you. And so then when I saw it, I was like, I've never even heard of this before. Like what? Like what is this? So it was more of that curiosity and then just to learn about how thorough everything was, that it was like natural and I don't know, just all of that really kind of like stuck with me because, and , and I think that you had a lot to do with that too because you seemed so knowledgeable and confident in it that I was like, okay, this feels like something that could work. I also love that it's something that you don't just have to use if you're trying to get pregnant, that you work with women who also maybe don't want to get pregnant, that it's something that fits and can be used for all types of people. I also really, really love that as well.

Caitlin: 4:24

I, I love the , the fact that you hadn't heard of it before was what drew you in, because a lot of times that's what makes people uncertain, right? That you're like, no, I've heard all the options that are normal, you know, quote unquote normal and like those aren't it. So I'm looking for something new.

Rebecca: 4:41

Yes. And that's probably what it was because like I said, I just didn't feel like all these things that I had heard a lot of other people try or what was being presented to me. I was just like, no, that's not what I'm looking for. So then when I was just like, hold on, I've never heard anyone do this or talk about this, I was just like, maybe this is what I am looking for. So yeah, I think that was totally it.

Caitlin: 5:00

Yeah. Well, why don't you tell us a little bit about how your fertility journey shifted once we started working together.

Rebecca: 5:08

I felt like I was learning so much about my body and the way that the woman's body works, just like these things that I felt like were basic knowledge that I was almost just kind of like, wow, I can't believe I didn't even know this about myself. And so having all of that like foundational basic knowledge made me feel more confident in my infertility journey just because it was like, okay, maybe yes, I'm didn't get pregnant this month, but I learned this about my body and I'm noticing this about my body. So I was gaining confidence in those areas that I actually felt familiar with myself and what was happening. So then when I did enter a doctor's office, I felt like I was coming in like prepared with my own knowledge of like, this is how I feel and this is when, you know what I'm saying? So I just felt more confident in what I learned about myself. Even if, you know, month t o m onth, i t didn't mean like I got pregnant. I just felt like I was more equipped and knowledgeable and yeah, just more confident for sure.

Caitlin: 6:16

Hmm . That is great because absolutely everyone who is coming into Woven comes in with a goal, you know, they want to avoid pregnancy or they want to conceive a pregnancy or they want to figure out a health issue that they have going on. But I also have some other goals for them. Because I don't want them to walk away with just that one thing. I want them to walk away with a broader understanding of their fertility, their creation. And I'm so glad that you've had that experience.

Rebecca: 6:44

Yes, yes. Absolutely.

Caitlin: 6:46

Okay. So you know what it's like trying to navigate this journey alone. There are so many resources that women deserve to have that they just don't, or they're just swept along from one step to the other and they're really not getting access to that kind of thing that they need: education, support, resources, et cetera. So I'm curious if there was one aspect that you felt was more transformative for you than others, or maybe it was a combo of those things for you.

Rebecca: 7:16

I think it was definitely a combination of things. I think kind of back to like where I was at when we started. I really was in a place where I'm going to the doctor and I'm feeling like, well, you tell me what I need to do, you tell me what's going on. And that did kind of lead me to having doctors tell me, oh, well this is for--I just, I just felt like I was taking any doctor I talked to just at their word, which is fine, but I felt like I wasn't empowered myself enough to like question that. You know, like if a doctor tells me like, this is the reality of your situation, I'm like, oh, okay. So like for me, for example , the first doctor I went to who did all my blood work, he just kept it very simple. And one of the things he noticed was like, oh wow, like your AMH number is super, super high and you have lots of eggs. So then I'm like, wow, that's weird. But we didn't ever like go into that further. But then when I worked with you and speaking with you and we kind of went through more of like some of the symptoms that I was feeling and then just like the pattern of my cycle, then did blood work with the doctor that you connected me with that same high number, alerted them to something completely different. And then they took that and they ran with it and it turned out that like, oh, you have insulin resistance. Oh. And like, and this is pointing us to this. And I just remember being like, what? Like the same exact panel of things. You know, one doctor looked at and was just like, oh yeah, it could be this. And then another doctor, the NaPro doctor really took it and like dissected it further. And so I think that that was just a big change for me in working with a NaPro doctor versus just, you know, my regular OB or, you know, anyone else. It just really made a huge difference to work with someone who took the time to look at every single little thing and then each option that that thing could come from.

Caitlin: 9:19

I love that they allowed you to feel worthy of that kind of investment and time, and that you felt a partnership there that you said you felt like you were empowered to have those conversations with them. And that makes me so happy that you were able to have those conversations with somebody you trusted too.

Rebecca: 9:37

Yeah. And they just gave me more information. I loved how they would explain it to me. They wouldn't just say like, oh, you've got insulin resistance, so we're going to put you on this and do this. It was like, you have insulin resistance and here is what that is. Let me tell you and explain how does it happen. Where does it come from? It was so much more thorough versus like with before, you know, we had been trying for about a year and it was even hard for me to get in there because, you know , they're like, ah , well it's only been a year. So like, even just advocating for myself to like have the test done was hard. And then once doing that, it was just kind of like, yeah, you know, we don't know why you are getting pre, why you're not getting pregnant. And, and with my daughter, I don't think I mentioned this , before that was like easy peasy. I mean, we're just like, Hey, let's you want to try to have a family? Let's have a family. And we try one time and boom, here she is. So, this was the total shock to us when it was taking us long. And so that was like those ideas in my head of like, there's something not right. So when you do the tests and you do all you , I had the procedure where they checked to see if my tubes were blocked, and they're just like, wow, we're stumped. And my next option would be to do IUI or IVF. I was like, I feel like we're skipping so much here. Like, you know, there's just so much that that's not like, how can I feel like something like that will work if we don't know like why my body's not, you know, like there. I want to dig into this more. And I'm glad that I felt that and thought that because I learned so much about myself working with Dr. K, RHM and, and they gave me like those answers and fully explained them to me. And then I felt like, ugh , I'm not crazy. You know, I'm , I knew there was something here I felt, and, and because they were willing to do that, they also helped me trust myself more because then from then on out when I felt like, I don't know, I feel like this is off. I didn't spend as much time thinking like, I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not a doctor. I didn't go to school. You know, I had that example of like, no, before I knew something wasn't right and I was right, I just had to like work and find the people who will work with me to be like, yes, yes , there is something wrong.

Caitlin: 11:57

That is so amazing. And I so appreciate you sharing that because I'm just thinking of all the women out there listening who feel so similar to you, they feel stuck. They know there's something wrong. They can just sense it. But they don't have the providers or the resources or the education, in order to advocate for those needs.

Rebecca: 12:21

Right.

Caitlin: 12:22

And so for me, I just feel like you're an example of someone who went with that, who trusted themselves and trusted that God was leading you to something else and you really engage with that authentically. And you went in search of something and then everything was different, but it took your effort, it took the time of you getting that education as well. That was kind of that first step.

Rebecca: 12:48

I know. It's so, it's so true. It, it really felt like, maybe I could compare it to like The Chronicles of Narnia when you go in the wardrobe and you like open and you're like, what Like all of this is here. Like, I just couldn't even believe it. It felt like I, a whole new world was opened up to me of what was out there and it just was like magic. It just like felt like magic. Like, ah , this is, yes, this is what I need, this is the path I need to take.

Caitlin: 13:21

That is beautifully said. Every woman deserves to know that this other area of information is out there and is available. So thinking of that, thinking of other women and how we want to support them as well, what encouragement do you have for women who feel frustrated with where they are in their journey and the options that they've been given?

Rebecca: 13:45

I feel like this is going to be so hard to answer in a timely manner because I just, I just don't even know like where to start. I guess for me personally, my faith in the Lord was like the one thing that pushed me through the two years of us trying to conceive . Because there were just days where it's like, God, I don't want to go to the doctor and then be like, yes, here's everything wrong with you, but I also want them to be like, this is everything wrong with you because then that will give me something to hold on to . So it was just really frustrating to not have like tangible answers for so long. And so just to have that faith and know that like it is in his timing and it, he is working, even if I'm not getting what I want would be my biggest encouragement was that if you do believe in the Lord and you have a relationship with him, to just cling tightly to him and to never stop praying. And if you don't have a relationship with the Lord, I would challenge you to think about it and look into it and just try praying and just try learning. Because I honestly cannot even think about what I would've been like if I didn't have that. But with that, because of my faith, thankfully I have a very strong church family here , and I have a small group of girls. And so I remember being so nervous and it was like, we're going around for prayer and I just decided to like tell them like, I'm really struggling right now because we're not able to get pregnant. Was just honest with them and they were so loving. And it turns out probably, I don't know, eight months later that one of those friends who'd been there with me by my side through my journey in my small group is the one that told me about you. And you could tell that she was a little bit nervous to tell me, because you don't want to be like that person that's like, oh, well you get pregnant then here's all the things that you should do, you know? We all have those, we all have these people. So you could tell that she was kind of nervous to be like, well, there's this thing called Woven and like , the Creighton method. You don't have to if you don't want to, but it seems like it works, you know? And so I'm just thankful for them and having that community to rely on and just be honest with. So I would encourage any woman to find at least a person, if not a group of people, that you can just share all your feelings with, all your experiences with. And I know it's really hard because it's such an intimate thing, it's such a personal thing, but you just don't know what, what's going to happen and what would be offered to you or presented to you when you share. And like even again, kind of on that topic of sharing, I would encourage women to share and to talk about infertility, their own experiences. Because for me, one thing that I realized is the things that led me to where I am today, you know, working with you, pregnant with my son, you know, working with Dr K, all came from people talking and sharing with me. So my friend was brave enough to share with me about her sister's struggles and you , and so that led me to you. And then even in my infertility journey , you and I and you helped me advocate for myself with low progesterone , that I did have low progesterone. And even early in my pregnancy, I needed that help to even sustain my pregnancy with progesterone. So all of it came from me being willing to be open with other people and then other people being willing to share and talk to me. There's just such a power in community and sharing. And so I think that's a very valuable resource.

Caitlin: 17:45

Well, thank you for sharing your story. That's a huge part of it and I so appreciate you being on the podcast with us today.

Rebecca: 17:53

Yes, thank you so much.

Caitlin: 17:55

Well, listeners, our Woven community is made up of some pretty incredible people. We ask honest questions about our fertility and about our faith. We believe that our bodies were made with beauty and purpose, that we are intimately designed and loved by our Creator, and that fertility plays a meaningful role in our lives. We would love for you to be a part of that community. You can learn the Creighton system just like Rebecca did. You can attend an introductory session and get started there, but we also have a new program that if you feel a connection with Rebecca, you actually may be a perfect fit for this. It's called our Women's Health Pilgrimage. It's a quarterly program where a small group of women commit to transforming their fertility journey together. Not only do you still get to learn the Creighton system, but you do so while radically transforming the fertility journey into a sacred journey. We believe that God is intimately involved in this area of your life and wants to use it for your good and his glory. Plus, our pilgrimage participants get free appointments with three of our trusted medical providers. So we design this specifically for women like you. You can find out more information about both at our website, wovenfertility.com, or in the links in the show notes. As always, thanks for listening as we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well.