Ep. 136: "I can't participate in Creighton" -- Anna's Story

While cycle charting is for every woman, some women experience medical or hormonal conditions that seem to prevent them from participating. Anna shares her story of feeling disqualified from fertility awareness options and how her interaction with this podcast and Woven Natural Fertility Care radically transformed her relationship with her body, her cycles, and her health journey. We're grateful to Anna for sharing her story! 

NOTE: This episode is appropriate for all audiences.

GUEST BIO:  Anna was born and raised in Colorado in an era when boredom was best kept at bay by playing outside with her 5 siblings. She enjoys being outside to this day. Hiking and gardening with her husband (Zach) ranks high on her favorite activities. The threw-line in her career arch is a desire to be helpful and to see people flourish. This led her to complete her bachelor's degree in Psychology from Colorado Christian University and her most recent adventure as a FertilityCare Practitioner Intern. 

SHOW NOTES: 
To connect with Anna, find her on instagram @cyclesleuth or Facebook (Anna Kiser)
Interested in learning about the Creighton Model System? You're in the right place! 

• Register for Creighton Introductory Session: Register here for our next Introductory Session

Looking for ways to implement fertility awareness into your life and faith? Check out out most helpful resources: 

• Substack Newsletter (free)
• Website Resources (free)

Have a question or want to give us feedback? 

Transcript

Caitlin: 0:06

Welcome to the Woven Well Podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master of divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you and your fertility while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started. Welcome back to the Woven Well Podcast. You know, I love introducing you all to some of these great clients I get to work with. I love client stories because they give insight into real world stories, real women just like you and me, who decided to look into a natural approach to their fertility and want to share how it changed things for them. It's really easy to feel like there's no way there's someone else dealing with the same thing I'm dealing with, but we're not nearly as alone as we think. And that is so incredibly important to know. Community is important, you are not alone. So to continue with that trend, I've invited another client, Anna, to join the podcast today. Anna and I began working together back in 2022 when Anna wasn't sure Creighton or any natural system could actually work for her. I'm excited for you to hear her story today. Anna, welcome to the show.

Anna: 1:24

Thanks so much, Caitlin. I'm glad to be here

Caitlin: 1:27

And I'm glad to have you here. I want the listeners to get to know a little bit about yourself. So what would you like to share?

Anna: 1:34

Yeah, well, I am here in Denver, Colorado. I first connected with you by searching for a podcast and I found yours. So that was a great, great connection. And yeah, I love , love being here in Denver. I was born and raised here in Colorado, so definitely enjoy taking advantage of our awesome weather and walks outside, sourdough baking. Those are kind of my jam when I'm like, if I could pick what I could do on a Saturday, I'd probably be bake a loaf of bread and take a walk with my husband , someplace out in the foothills.

Caitlin: 2:14

I love it. That sounds like a fantastic Saturday. So I'm right there with you. Good ideas. So let's start at the beginning when we met you were on birth control. Why were you originally put on birth control?

Anna: 2:27

Yeah, it all starts back when I was in high school. I didn't get a period and when I was, I think a junior in high school, I think I was about 17 years old, our family physician was really concerned by that. And it kind of took me and my parents both by surprise, you know, the concern from our physician was well-founded, and we, we kind of explored what was behind that and we discovered an endocrine condition that needed, I needed some additional hormones for my health, specifically estrogen and progesterone. And I was just told at that time the most convenient thing for you would be just take the birth control pill. It has both , and you don't have to worry about managing anything. You'll just, it's really easy. Just take it and that'll be good for you. And I just accepted that. And it was many, many years and, you know, some of life's transitions that I took the birth control through, like , going off to college and being a young single woman taking the birth control pill, and it came with me into my marriage. And so yeah, it was a big part of my life, kind of.

Caitlin: 3:50

Yeah. And at that point you weren't given any other options and you were told to do this, so you were faithfully doing it. You know, we often talk about the physical side effects of taking birth control, but you've also shared a little bit with me in the past about what it was like to be told that you had to do this for the rest of your life, that there was a mental and emotional effect. Would you share about that with us too?

Anna: 4:19

Yeah, I think for me there was a lot of shame with it that, not that anybody shamed me at all, but just internally I felt shame because I, I thought, you know, I associate this with sexually active people and I'm this little 17-year-old that I wasn't, and I, you know, I, that was really important to me that, that that part of my life would be reserved for marriage if God called me into that. And so there was a lot of shame that that was a normal part of my life to be taking birth control pill. So I wouldn't share that with anybody. I also , it really caused me to compartmentalize my life. And part of that, you know, it's just hard to have conversations around things you don't understand or know. And so just my health was really segmented apart from the rest of how I wanted to live my life. And it just seemed like I need to take this for my health just because it was neat or that way, and it was more tidy that way to just not question things , but to leave it kind of segmented off.

Caitlin: 5:32

Hmm . I can so imagine listeners resonating with that. It's just easier, it's tidier to do what you were told to do. And also you didn't even know if there were other options, but at some point everything changed, even though you didn't have any reason to think anything other than birth control was an option for you, you decided to do some research and to start asking some questions. So what led to that and where did those questions take you?

Anna: 6:04

Yeah, I mean there were, there were just a couple of times that I stopped the birth control pill, just out of curiosity, like, do I really need this? Will I start having my period without it? Because I, I never had a period on my own and nothing would happen. And what the really, the turning point for me was 2020 and , you know, life was just crazy. And Yeah, I had a new job that went remote just a couple of weeks after I had started, and I just felt so much insecurity and anxiety and so I started seeing a counselor and one of the, I mean, she just was wonderful to work with, but one thing that really came to the surface was conversations that my husband and I had had about adoption being part of our hopes for the future. And of course we talked about like why adoption? And I had this deep-seated assumption that , because of this condition that I have that I would never be able to conceive and naturally bear a child. And she was like, you know, that could be true, but you don't know that and you don't want to make decisions, big life decisions based off of assumptions. So she really encouraged me to pursue the truth and pursue understanding and just like reaffirmed that adoption is good, and that could be something that we're called into, but that it had been, you know, at this point it had been maybe 12 years since I'd had that diagnosis. So I just thought like, let's start at square one. And we got the diagnosis reconfirmed with a different endocrinologist, and we asked her, is this really the best thing? Because I had been learning about birth control, and hearing about like all of the, just the adverse side effects and kind of its history was alarming to me too , how it came to be trialed and used initially. So I was alarmed by that and thought, I don't like this; I don't want to take this. Yeah. So I was asking, is this really the best thing for me? And we were like, we need to see what it would take to conceive a pregnancy. So we got referred to a reproductive endocrinologist and learned about the options with IVF and as I was just kind of, I'd been so closed, like just emotionally to the idea of pregnancy ever since that diagnosis that I had to really explore what it might mean. And so that's, that's kind of where I came to really exploring like, is it really IVF that's the best option and is it really the birth control pill? That's just my maintenance for my, my health. That's where I was really at a crisis of faith almost because it just seemed like this does not--I spoke with some really strong believers who had used IVF and I know there's other Christians using the birth control pill, but at the same time, I just thought, this doesn't seem to line up with biblical truth about my body. And like, and just, I don't know that this really values human life and dignity and Yeah. And I just was felt at a loss. So at that point I was like window shopping for any books I could find. So I was searching through the library databases, like keywords, anything I could think of, like faith, menstrual health , Bible. And I found this book called The Brief Theology of Periods by Rachel Jones. And I, it just resonated with me and I thought that I am on the right track. After reading that book, I was like, I am not crazy to be thinking that God has purpose and intention for our bodies. And that he made me a woman, and that , and that that's beautiful and that it's worthwhile to pursue health and really leaning into what does it mean to be a woman? Yeah. It was, it was so good, but it was like kind of cerebral, I guess. Like it was good head knowledge and it really like struck my heart too , but I just was like, what do you do with this? Like, if you think about your head, heart hands, like, I don't know what to do with my hands now that I have this in my head and my heart. And so I need something practical to do. And so it didn't satisfy that, and that's how I had to keep looking. And I found your podcast and it gave me something to do. At first. I was just, you know, binge listening everything that had been recorded up to that point. And I loved it. But I was really sad because I was on the birth control pill still, and I thought, I'm on these synthetic hormones and I can't use this. Like, I really loved it and I wanted it for every woman in my life, but I was like, I am , I won't be able to take advantage of this. And how cool is this? But , I was in touch with you, I think we like corresponded, like passed some emails back and forth. Yeah.

Caitlin: 11:49

You emailed me and I encouraged you to give Creighton a try. I really thought that it could provide more information for you than you thought or than you were originally told. You know, you were just basing it off of what you had been told in the past. So what was that learning process like? What did that change for you?

Anna: 12:15

Well, I think you had connected me with the idea of looking for a NaPro provider, and that's when I, I got off of the birth control pills and that provider split my prescription so that I was taking estrogen followed by progesterone. So it was a new protocol and I was just totally lost because my whole like "cycling" because it's not really a cycle. It's, you know, it doesn't really replicate a natural cycle to be on birth control. But my whole cycling life up to that point had been so predictable. And so I was just really at a loss at what I was experiencing. And so it was like, yeah, Caitlin , I think you're right. I think I could really benefit from this. So the learning process was kind of raw at first because I had a lot of emotion about it because I felt like a poser maybe in some ways. Like, it's, it's mimicking a natural cycle, but like, I don't know that this is really going to be helpful because it still is, you know, not the hormones that my ovaries are making. It's, I need the help, I need the pharmaceutical help right now. So , I think it was raw in some ways because it was like, every day was like, well, will I see anything? Is there going to be--is this going to prove to be helpful? And so in the beginning it was raw, but it was just also exciting because I just felt like I'm on the right track with this. I'm going in the right direction. And then it was exciting to have something to do. Yeah. Like to proactively take part in my health.

Caitlin: 14:06

Absolutely. Because I remember when you started to see changes on your chart related to hormones and seeing your chart begin to look like what's on other ladies' charts and, and how that whole process, I mean, you know, you've mentioned how it was all so very raw and I think you were right on the money about that. And I think about how many other women feel that exact same way, how many others feel exposed and vulnerable and don't know what's going to happen. So to have an option like Creighton charting where you can see things happening in real time and how that made such a big difference, I would imagine that that's what contributed to the change in how you felt before. You mentioned feeling isolated and ashamed and even compartmentalized. What did it feel like in this new season to see things happening before your eyes and not be on birth control?

Anna: 15:15

Yeah, I mean, it was really encouraging that like, maybe God will use us to heal my body, which will , so far it's like I, I think this condition and I are, are going to be wrapped up together for a little bit longer at least. But , it's, yeah, it was really encouraging and I think it gave me a lot more knowledge about what my body like should be doing. And also that it is doing a great job like that. It gave me a lot of appreciation for just all the things that work so well in my body, especially when I'm supporting it in the ways that it needs , so that was really cool. I think also it just gave my husband and I, this has helped us so much with having a common knowledge and having an understanding of what's happening with me so that he can advocate with me at doctor's visits and have a good understanding of what's being asked of me when we go. Yeah, I'm sure like when we first got married, day one would be like, what does that mean to him? And now he's like, you know, he, he could pull out my chart and tell you what's going on, on any given day.

Caitlin: 16:29

I love that so much, so much. You went from this place of there's no way I can participate in this. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to see what's happening to actively seeing changes happening on your chart related to your hormone therapy. Like really being able to participate with it and even introducing your husband to it and having him be a part of things as you all are using the system together, but also when it comes to health advocacy and the support and unity that you needed there, that is just so beautiful. What encouragement would you have for other women?

Anna: 17:09

Well, you know, looking back on my story, like my, to me, what would've been really sad and there, there's like some sad parts. Like when I look back on my story, there's parts that I was like really grieving at different stages and, but when I look back on it now, what I think would've been really sad , because God has used all of those, you know, parts that I was grieving. But what would've been really sad is if I had disqualified myself and said that, you know, that, that this wasn't worth pursuing. Specifically thinking about like that stage of discovering the Creighton method, but thinking that it wasn't for me; that I would be somehow outside the scope of it being useful. Just like, I'm just so relieved that I was able to connect with you when I was at that stage, and that you were able to encourage me , because that, that would be my worst fear for other people. That they would disqualify themselves from this. Because I, I truly believe it's just been such a helpful tool that would be , I guess my advice is don't disqualify yourself if you're in a unique situation or a challenging phase of life. Just there's not really a perfect time to start. And we have so many, like, so many negative influences in our life. I don't want someone to be a negative voice in their own health, you know?

Caitlin: 18:48

Anna , thank you so much for being on and being willing to share a piece of your story with those who are listening.

Anna: 18:55

Yeah. Thanks for having me,

Caitlin: 18:57

Listeners. I'm so, so glad you got to hear a bit of Anna's story. I think it's a beautiful example of how we can feel so isolated and so stuck in what we think are our only options. But as she said, you are not disqualified. If you want to learn more about any of that, the Creighton method or medical support, be sure to reach out to us at the show. You can actually send us a text message. So check out the show notes for how to do that. As always, thanks so much for listening as we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well.