When you’re a woman who is High In-Demand when you have a consistent flow of dating prospects, a variety of quality men who are excited about dating you, and plenty of options to choose your life partner from.
Listen to this episode if you want to learn what it takes to be a woman in High Demand
Interested in working with me 1:1. Book a sales call HERE to learn more about becoming a private client so that you can become in high-demand in the dating world…
…AND attract emotionally available and financially established men who desire serious commitment so that you can choose your life partner in as early as a year.
OTHER POPULAR RESOURCES:
Learn how to use your words to attract better men & create better dating experiences - The Conversations that Inspire Commitment Live Virtual Workshop
Read my online essay on why the way we date is broken- Modern Dating is Hard
Learn the basics behind attracting quality men and what it takes to build a rotation. - The Cuffing Season Retreat Bundle.
Take a self-paced 6 month journey to do the REAL foundational work to prepare for the love life you desire - Formation
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
When you’re a woman who is High In-Demand when you have a consistent flow of dating prospects, a variety of quality men who are excited about dating you, and plenty of options to choose your life partner from.
Listen to this episode if you want to learn what it takes to be a woman in High Demand
Interested in working with me 1:1. Book a sales call HERE to learn more about becoming a private client so that you can become in high-demand in the dating world…
…AND attract emotionally available and financially established men who desire serious commitment so that you can choose your life partner in as early as a year.
OTHER POPULAR RESOURCES:
Learn how to use your words to attract better men & create better dating experiences - The Conversations that Inspire Commitment Live Virtual Workshop
Read my online essay on why the way we date is broken- Modern Dating is Hard
Learn the basics behind attracting quality men and what it takes to build a rotation. - The Cuffing Season Retreat Bundle.
Take a self-paced 6 month journey to do the REAL foundational work to prepare for the love life you desire - Formation
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
Hello Queen, welcome back to another episode of the Date with Sins podcast. If you're listening to this episode, the doors to C2C 3.0 are officially closed and we have filled all the seats. I am beyond excited. I cannot wait for this cohort to begin. We have so much in store for these ladies and they officially start February 4th. That is orientation.
Speaker 1:But as they signed up, I had invited them to the some of the coaching calls ahead of time and they have already started implementing, have already started getting results, have already got themselves excited about the evidence that they're collecting, about how amazing their love lives can be. That is what's lighting me up right now. Another thing that I'm really excited about is the brand new curriculum. We had a focus group being conducted out of Cufflinks my curriculum specialist Jen, who's also a Cufflink. She actually facilitated this focus group. Cufflinks came to the focus group and they were able to give their opinions about their time and the program. What pieces of the program blew their minds, what pieces of the program that they wanted to be more clear on, what pieces in the program that took a while for them to click, so that we could actually take that feedback and really plug some of the like maybe some of the disconnect some of the women had and also really put to the forefront what really actually was working for them.
Speaker 1:So, again, all of this is really, really exciting, and the episode that is I'm about to introduce to you so this episode is becoming high in demand in the dating world, and by high demand. In high demand I mean that men are approaching you. Men are asking you for dates. Men are asking for second day, third dates. Men are asking to move exclusive, and not just any man. These are men that you're also excited about. These are also men that you are attracted to. You can always have a date at the drop of a dime. You can always go on a delicious experience at the drop of a dime. You can always put your desire out there and allow them to be fulfilled at the drop of a dime. That is what in high demand means, and so what this episode is all about is to show you how you can become in demand, and just a few weeks. It doesn't take that long.
Speaker 1:I've helped many clients do this. I've helped myself do this, and so in the episode, I do reference Curvedacuff and encourage you to come to Curvedacuff, because it is an Instagram live that I did in, you know or what, last week or the week or so ago, but the doors are closed to C2C, even though it's referenced. The good news is I have opened the doors to open my private one-on-one coaching program, which is Power and Passion Partnership Coaching, and it is private coaching for powerhouse women of faith who desire to work with me closely to become in high demand in the dating world and finally date men on their level. So this is for women who have really done some like really proud of what they've created in their lives. They are really confident in their friendships, their relationships outside of, like romance. They're really confident in their career and what they've created, their accomplishments, what they've been able to do in their lives. They love what they've been able to create for themselves and they're really confident about all these things. But when it comes to dating, they're not really confident. There. It's not easy for them. It's not like a blueprint they don't have, like some rules they can follow. It could just turn out their way, and so there's some overwhelm, there's some confusion and they really want to have success in their dating life towards a relationship, towards commitment, towards marriage. The same way they've had confidence in other areas of their lives. So again, if you're interested in this, the link to book a call with me is in the show notes. And this is a sales call. It's not a pick my ring call. It's not a good coaching call. It's a sales call to see if working together makes sense, right? So we'll cover what's happening in your love life and I will let you know if I can help, and then I will invite you to work with me on this particular call. So, that being said, I am going to introduce you to the next episode and without further ado, here it is. Hello, love it girls, welcome to my live.
Speaker 1:Today, we are going to be talking about becoming high in high demand in the modern dating world. We're talking about becoming high demand in the modern dating world. Let me see about this. So, y'all, I was trying to wait to see if whatever was happening back there. There's some noise in the background. There's always work being done in my neighborhood, so, please forgive me, I'm pulling up the screen closer to me just in case you can hear it. But yeah, so today, in today's video, thank you, thank you guys. Y'all don't know, y'all don't hate me.
Speaker 1:Today's video, we're talking about how you can become in high demand in the modern dating world even if you're abstinent, even if no one is currently approaching you, even if you are divorced, even if you are a single mom, even if you are plus size and even if you are in a city where you feel like the men are not that great. Okay, so that is what we are here to talk about today and, yeah, I'm really happy to see you guys. What's going on with you? I mean, I'm just, I'm just happy to see you guys. So, if you are new here, I'm Torrissants and I help high achieving, unchurched women of faith attract quality men and date deliciously towards the romantic partnership they desire, whether that's marriage, whether that's exclusivity, like whatever. That is right. And so this lesson is for you.
Speaker 1:If number one, like you're going out on dates but you're not really excited about the men that you're going out with, like your feeling, like I'm doing it but I'm not feeling it right, or if you aren't going out on dates because men are not approaching you or men are not asking you out on dates, right. So that's something that, if you fit into those two categories, if you fit into the first category, where you are dating. But it's like, put a one in the comments. If you are not going on dates because men are not approaching you or asking you on dates, put two in the comments. So I want to see where everyone else is here today and please share this live if you know that there are people that need to be here or watch the replay. Okay, so we got some ones like you're dating, but it's like. And then we have our twos who are like girl, I ain't dating at all, they're not approaching me, they're not asking me out on dates. Okay, so both, both of you, in both of these groups this is for you, okay.
Speaker 1:So first of all, let's talk about high demand. Like, what is demand in the first place? Right, you are a woman in high demand If you are always sought out by men who are excited about dating you and that you are excited about them, like. So these are men that you are interested in, that you find attractive, and they are excited about dating you. Okay, so that is what it means to be in high demand. So there is no shortage of quality men approaching you when you go out. Like, there's no shortage of quality men asking you about on dates. There is no shortage of quality men trying to figure out what it takes to go exclusive with you. There is no confusion there, none at all.
Speaker 1:Why is the Zoom acting up? Please, zoom, don't do this. I hate when Zoom does things that I don't want it to do. What's happening here? So yeah, so I want you to.
Speaker 1:This is what high demand looks like. I want you to imagine that you're at a social event. You're at a social event and you're surrounded by a diverse group of people and you're just doing your thing and at the end of it, you have several men that you're interested in, showing interest in getting to know you better. That's what high demand looks like. Or I want you to imagine being on a date with someone that you're interested in and before the date is over, this man is already asking you for a second date because he's enjoyed the conversation so much, he's enjoyed your art so much, he's enjoyed who you are as a woman so much. I want you to imagine dating multiple quality men who add value to your life. I want you to imagine that they add value to your life and you have the opportunity to choose. You have the opportunity to choose either one of them to pursue a life with. That is what being in high demand feels like.
Speaker 1:Put a one in the comments. If you have felt in high demand before, put two in the comments. When you're like I don't know if I felt that before, I want that for myself, but I do not know if I know what that feels like just yet. If you know what high demand feels like, I already know my clients. For sure they already know what that feels like to be high in demand. I see y'all, I see the clients. If you're just like I don't know I don't know if I've ever felt that way before. I'm going to be talking about the four things that needs to happen for you to become in high demand. Before I get into this, I want to remind you that this live is sponsored by Curved to Cuff.
Speaker 1:Curved to Cuff is my signature program. It's a 12 month program for high achieving women of faith who desire to create a rotation of two to three men so that they can have options to choose their legacy partner in as early as a year, instead of waiting to be chosen. The doors are now open and in order to enroll, you will need to book an enrollment call with me. On their enrollment call. We will talk about what your love life looks like and see if it's like how we can help. If we can, we will extend you an invitation in the program. If you're looking to book a call with me, this is the last week to actually book a call with me, because the last day to enroll is January 29th. You either type connect in the comment section to receive a link to book a call or you can go to the link in my bio to book a call, but this is the last week. This live is sponsored by Curved to Cuff Come and high demand in the modern dating world.
Speaker 1:Number one it requires for you to step into the belief that you are highly desired. It requires for you to step into the belief that you are highly desired before you have the evidence. Many of us are waiting for evidence to show up right, to show up in all of our glory, to prove to us that, yeah, I am highly desired or, yeah, men do want me that way, or, yeah, quality men are waiting to pursue me. It's always interesting because, as women of faith, we understand what the definition of faith is right. It's the evidence of things not seen, the evidence of things not yet seen. And yet we are waiting for external circumstances to tell us that we are desired, instead of understanding inherently that we are desired, even though we currently have not seen the evidence for it yet. I give an example.
Speaker 1:So, for me, being a love coach, a dating coach and people come to me for advice all the time, people hire me all the time, but when I first came into this space, I had to decide that I was going to be the expert. I had to decide that I was an expert in my field. I had to decide that I am a highly sought after coach. However, people started seeking me out to work with me. Because you know why? Because when I was kind of tinkering around with the idea that you know well, maybe people don't want to learn from me or maybe people might think I'm a fraud, when I was in that energy, I showed up that way. I showed up like maybe I know what I'm talking about, maybe I do.
Speaker 1:I showed up in a way where I did not perceive myself to be worthy enough to teach people, and it reflected in my ability to attract certain clients. There was a time where people wouldn't pay over $7 to buy an ebook with me $7. There was a time where people were like I can't pay the $19 a month. There was a time Then that happened and now people are paying multiple, four figures, multiple, five figures to work with me. But there was a time where I was just like people don't want to spend $7 with me, but stepping into know I'm an expert coach, people are excited about working with me.
Speaker 1:I just have not stepped into that truth yet. I have not accepted that truth yet. I had not. So I'm like you know what? People are not buying my stuff. I'm just going to show up as if people are waiting. The right people are waiting for me to give their advice. They're waiting for me to share a program with them that they wanna buy. And I just showed up and people looked at me as if I was the expert coach. There is no anymore like. There is no thinking that, oh, I cannot attract the clients that I wanna attract anymore. There simply is.
Speaker 1:This is how I'm showing up, in the way that I show up, because I'm an expert, because I'm amazing in what I do, they are gonna show up, and so you have to believe that there are so many quality men in the world that are excited to meet you. Like. That's something that you have to step into without the evidence. Without the evidence, you have to believe that you have so much to offer, so much to offer, so much to offer that men are gonna be super, super excited. You have to believe that you have so much to offer. And then you have to believe that you have created a life that lights you up, that quality men would love to be a part of. You have to believe that you have created a life that lights you up and that quality men would love to be a part of. The same way, I have to believe that I have so much to offer. My clients, the people who are attracted to me, are excited to be a part of my programs, a part of my coaching. Their excitement a part of my programs, a part of my coaching. They're excited to show up in my containers and get results. You have to believe that.
Speaker 1:Now, for those of you who find it hard to believe, there needs to be a gradual shift in belief system, and maybe that might look like. I know it's possible that there are many quality men in the world that are excited to meet me. I know it's possible that I have so much to offer. I know it's possible to create a life that lights me up and that quality men would love to be a part of. Like. I know that that is possible for me, right? So put a one in the comments if you feel it's possible for you. Put a one in the comments if you know that it's possible for you. If you believe that it's possible for you, I'd love to know.
Speaker 1:But if we're going to start with you being in demand, there has to be a belief shift. There has to be a shift. There has to be, and it can't be something that you just say today. It must be something that you practice regularly, because when things don't go your way, it can be easy to forget all about it. It can be so easy to be like, oh it's just, dating is just so tough and I just I'm not meeting the types of men that I want and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do this Like.
Speaker 1:It has to be a daily affirmation, even when, like right now, I've created the C2C program 3.0 and I was talking to my curriculum specialist and I was telling her like I'm excited about this, but I'm very nervous. I'm very nervous because I'm doing some new things, I'm making some new decisions, I'm trying some new things that I've never done in my business before and that scares me. But the thing is, I'm doing it, and the reason why I'm doing it is because I keep telling myself oh, tora, you make really good decisions, you make really good decisions and your clients love you, like people who come to work in your containers. They love you, they come and they get results. They show up for themselves, and that's something that I have to consistently affirm to myself on a daily basis to continue making a lot of these hard decisions that I have to make. These decisions are not easy, they're scary, and so when you feel like you're not being in that mode, you have to consistently affirm that for yourself, and then the evidence will confirm it for you later on. You affirm it first, the evidence will confirm it, but the evidence does not come until the faith steps in the door.
Speaker 1:Okay, and the thing is, when you don't believe and you don't feel like you are highly desired by quality men, what happens is you settle for less. You settle for men texting you when you want phone calls. You settle for phone calls when you know you want dates. You settle for conversations that you don't wanna have. You settle for questions you don't wanna answer. You settle for dates that do not light you up. You settle for men breaking their promises you settle for it. That's how you can test to see if you actually believe you are high in demand. Because if you get to settling for those types of things like a lot of times we talk about settling in the space of settling for an asshole or settling for a jerk or settling for someone who treats us bad no, I'm talking about settling for guys who look good on paper, who treat you kindly, who has all their ducks in a row, who excite you, who are enjoyable, but they're not meeting the standard that you wanna experience. They're not providing the experience you desire. If you are showing up that way and you're settling, there's a belief where you do not feel like you are high in demand, because that is something that you would not put up with. That is something that you would actually speak to and set a boundary around. That is something that you would execute a boundary around If you truly believe you are high in demand.
Speaker 1:I ask questions, I ask clients. All the time Clients come to me and they say, yeah, tora, he's doing such and such and I don't wanna do it anymore. Or he's texting me and I really want the phone call. I'm like so why are you still talking to him? Like, why are you still texting back? And they're like, well, I don't know. I guess I kinda like him If they felt, if they came in feeling like they were in high demand, that stuff will not fly. They will decline what does not align with them. Okay.
Speaker 1:Also, when you do not feel highly desired by men, you engage in negative self-talk. Like the negative self-talk you might engage in is something like men don't approach anymore. Men don't take women out on dates anymore. It's really hard to find someone to enjoy. It's like it's hard to get men to call. Or it's hard to find someone with my values, or I don't think that I can attract those types of men. So I'm gonna swipe left because I think he's too attractive for me to swipe right on. He's not interested in me. I'm not the type of woman that he would date. I'm not the type of woman that he would have a conversation with. I'm not the type of woman that he would wanna approach. That's when you don't feel highly desired is when you come up with all of these thoughts and processes Again as a dating coach, as an entrepreneur and I put myself out there.
Speaker 1:I was in a victim mentality when nobody would buy my products for $7. I was in a victim mentality and I was like these people ain't got no money, people don't wanna invest in themselves anymore, people don't wanna do what it takes to change, people want free coaching, but they don't like I mean, yeah, I engaged in a lot of that negative self talk and it wasn't until I switched to oh, like, I'm responsible for attracting the clients that I want my messaging. I need to look at the messaging that I'm sending out. I need to look at the energy that I'm putting out there. I need to look at how I'm showing up in my business. I need to do that for myself Instead of engaging in the negative self talk.
Speaker 1:Ask myself like how do I appeal to the types of clients that I wanna attract? How do I make the types of money that I wanna make in my business? Okay, so I went from being overlooked by dream clients to being highly sought after by the most amazing clients in the world, right? And then, when you don't feel how the desire you result to like manipulation tactics, playing games and stuff like that. Like you'll play games like oh, I'm just gonna lean all the way back and see what he does, or, you know, throwing hints at men and expecting for them to take the hint, instead of like just being clear with them, testing men to see what they're gonna do. Like those are games, those are time wasters, those are very, very childish and we do not do that here in the love of girl community.
Speaker 1:So the first thing that you need to do in order to become in high demand is you need to believe that you are highly desired before the evidence comes in. Women of faith, that is where our faith comes in. It is the substance of things that are hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Women of faith, faith is the substance of things hoped for, right. We hope to have all of this attraction by high quality men. We hope to be approached. We hope for all these things. It's a substance, the evidence of things not seen. We have not seen the evidence yet. We're claiming it though. We have not seen, but we're claiming that we're highly desired. We understand that it is in our wheelhouse to have it. It is in our faith to have it. Like are we going to exercise our faith, are we going to put works to the faith that we claim to have? And so that is the first thing that you need to do.
Speaker 1:The second thing that you need to do in order to become high in demand in the dating world is you need to be able to own your space. Own your space. Only where your presence is is your space. Here's what I mean by that. So I don't care if it's the grocery store. Your space isn't just your home, right, the earth is yours and the fullness thereof. Like I take that, I take that scripture seriously. The world is yours and the earth is yours and the fullness thereof, and it's not just my home, it's not just my car. That's my space. The grocery store is my space. The gas station is my space. If I'm at a networking event, it is my space, right, it is where I am operating in the glory of who I am. I know I belong there, I know I'm supposed to be there, and because I know I'm supposed to be there, I know I'm taking up space there.
Speaker 1:Most of us, we enter a space trying to figure out how we fit into this space, trying to blend in with the space. We allow the space to dictate how we show up. So we're trying to figure out okay, am I dressed properly? Am I dressed the way everyone else is dressed here? Like, am I in alignment with, like, how everyone else is showing up here, like everyone else is on their phones. It's kind of like, well, I'm going to be in my phone too, or we'll watch. We'll kind of like watch where people are doing. We'll be in a corner section. We're like, okay, well, I don't know it's safe if someone approaches me and talks to me like I don't know that safe then. And then looking at trying to figure out what everybody else is doing right, trying to figure out what everyone else is doing before you decide to make a move, before you decide to put yourself out there. A lot of us hide amongst our friends, like we have to go out in a group and when we're not in a group, we have to be in our phones, right, and we're trying to figure out how we fit into the space. But again, when it's your space, you assume that you're supposed to be in the room.
Speaker 1:I always bring this analogy up to my clients and I ask them I say what if you were at an event and there was a man who came into the event and he had a clipboard in his hand and he was writing things down? He was looking up, he was making icons, that were people. He was writing things down at the event, what would you think? And they always say like, oh, I would think that like he probably was the manager or he probably was in operations and he was probably handling things. Like put number one in the comments if you would think something like that. Thank you guys for all the compliments on my hair, but the thing is, the person, that man could have just came in with the clipboard, not supposed to be that. He could have been a homeless man who came in with the clipboard just to look important, so that he can eat the food, and you would never know. The reason why you would never know is because you assumed he was supposed to be there, because he asked to be there. He asked to be there. We would assume that he was supposed to be there. We would not assume that he was homeless. We would not assume that he wasn't invited. Most people would not assume that that man was not invited. We would not assume that at all. We would just be like, oh okay, I guess he's supposed to be here too and that's because he chose to own the room. We would not know the difference. He took up physical space. He didn't just assume that he was supposed to be there. He took up physical space when he was there and when it's your space.
Speaker 1:When you decided that the grocery store is your space, when you decided that this event, this festival, this is your space, when you walk in the door you're making eye contact to see who's in your space. Think about if you were a restaurant owner. You own the restaurant and you knew Keith Lee could pop in at any minute, any time. You are going to be looking into the crowd. You are going to be asking, like creating conversations with people seeing like, hey, how are you doing this? My spot? Some owners don't even let you know that it's their spot. They just come by and say, hey, how is everything going here? How is this going? It's their spot. These people might be shy and introverted Anywhere else, might be super quiet, anything anywhere else, but it's their spot and because of it they feel confident talking to you about their spot. They feel confident looking you in your eye, in their spot. So when you go into these places, it is assumed like oh, this, my spot, the earth is mine and the fullness thereof.
Speaker 1:When I walk into this spot, I'm locking eyes with people. I'm not just darting to a table, I'm not just walking into the door and going straight to the bar, going straight to the table or straight to the back. I'm like acknowledging my surroundings. I stop at the door, I might look around and I decide I'm not in a rush. I decide where I want to sit. I decide where I want to be and I want to be a part of the ambience. I want to add myself to an interaction, a conversation. I want to be able to feel free to express an opinion with somebody who might be sitting beside me. I'm free to do these things because it is my space. I don't care, you can tell me that it's not my space. It's my space. I'm here and I'm ready to do what I want to do here. I want to create these conversations, I want to ask these questions. I want to gaze in the room. I really want to experience the food and really be in the present moment and slow all the way down and engage all of my senses while I'm here, because it's my space and when you do that, you actually lead by example, you lead the room. Many times we walk into a room and we allow that room to dictate how we operate and dictate our energy.
Speaker 1:I know when I would go out all the time especially like my photo shoots people would assume that I was part of a celebrity. I was a fashion model because I would just get really, really dressed up. I would be overdressed according to people and I would just walk and I would just have someone taking pictures of me when I was out. I remember being in a museum and I was really dressed up and I had people taking pictures of me. There were people, tourists that wanted to take pictures with me because they just knew I was a celebrity. They were like are you somebody? And I'm like everybody's somebody, are you somebody? I knew what they meant. Like who are you? What celebrity are you? They did not believe me and they just all wanted pictures with me. They all wanted to take pictures with me because they just assumed that I was some celebrity. Because I own the museum, I own the restaurant, right, I own all of these places that I was at. I own all of these things and so you lead by example and people are really magnetized by those types of things and that type of energy.
Speaker 1:So if you want to be in high demand, own your space Now. As you listen to this and you might have questions about any of this, please put it in the comment box. But if that makes sense to you, put A1 in the comments. If that makes sense to you at all, put a one in the comment section.
Speaker 1:The next thing, if you want to be high in demand is you need to be self-expressed. So we talked about the belief that you are highly desirable. We talked about owning your space, because when you own the space, you own the men too, baby. You own the babies, you own the kids, you own the women, everybody. People have no choice but to lock eyes with you or really watch you. I don't know if you guys watch those videos where people are walking and then the camera is set. These people are confident, they look like they own the street, and then people are like you see the camera capturing them. They're looking, catching glances of them. I know women who are doing that. I know men who are doing that, but you get to see the eyes that are capturing them, or when I would go out and people really stopping by telling me how much I glow or how beautiful I was, simply by owning the room.
Speaker 1:But the third thing is being self-expressed, and self-expression is the art of authentically communicating who you are to others, either verbally or non-verbally. Again, self-expression is the art of authentically communicating who you are to others, either verbally or non-verbally. That's what it looks like. So we talked about self-expression and, again, self-expression means being able to communicate who you are, the art of authentically communicating who you are to others, either verbally or non-verbally. And so being self-expressed, it looks like being in a cozy cafe and animately talking with someone about your passion for painting, describing all the vivid colors and emotions that you experience while you create your art. Any artist in the building, any type of artist, put a one in the comments. So being self-expressed looks like being in this cozy cafe, right A cell of coffee beans in the air, and you're sitting and you are expressing to someone about your passion for painting, all of the colors, all of the emotions that are involved and that you experience while you create the art. That's what self-expressed looks like, right?
Speaker 1:Self-expressed looks like you know you're walking by a park and you overhear a street musician right? Whatever musician drums, violin, whatever you overhear the street musician and you feel something in your body and you start to sway your body to the music, hands in the air, like whatever your body wants to do. You are allowing it to happen in the moment Self-expression. Self-expression is you see a dog owner with one of your favorite breeds of dogs. You are approached them with excitement about it all, letting them know why this is one of your favorite breeds and your admiration of the dog, and then you even strike up a conversation about why this may be your favorite park to be in. That's self-expression.
Speaker 1:Self-expression is it looks like sharing your fitness journey on social media while expressing many of the challenges and joys that come with it. Like some of y'all know that, I do poll and I'm always sharing my poll journey. I'm always sharing the challenges. I'm always sharing the uphill battles, the downhill battles. I'm always sharing the journey, my wins, my losses. That's a form of expression and I'm communicating to you guys here, verbally and non-verbally, who I am as a woman, who I am as a person. There are people that are consistently DMing me saying thank you for sharing this tour because blah, blah, blah. Thank you for sharing this tour because I'm inspired by this. So thank you for sharing this because you know you're transparent, because people show up and they act like they've been pole dancing forever. Like, thank you for sharing this with me. People now get a sense of who I am because I've chosen self-expression and not like, oh, I gotta wait till I'm perfect to show the world. I gotta wait till I get all the moves right. I gotta wait till I'm in a level four class, level three class, like I was starting my poll journey from the bottom when I could not lift myself up on the pole.
Speaker 1:Self-expression looks like locking eyes with someone and exchanging playful glances and winks. That's what it looks like. It looks like at a networking event, introducing yourself to others and asking curious questions about who these people are. Right, that's what it looks like. So what are you guys seeing? Like, what are like? What is, what's the common thing that you're seeing in these examples of self-expression? Like I'd love to know in the comment section. Like what are you? What are you getting from my examples that I've shared in self-expression.
Speaker 1:And the biggest reasons why us women, especially as women of faith, are not self-expressed is because we are in good girl mode. We have been conditioned to behave a certain way, based on society, based on expectations, based on religious traditions, and we have a strong fear of judgments, of criticism, of rejection, and because of that, we don't show ourselves, we don't reveal who we truly are. We're reserved. We, our bodies, are like oh yeah, I want to, I want to dance, but then we're like mmm, I don't want to look stupid, I don't want to do that. Or we choose not to run up to a certain dog owner. We just admire the dog from afar. We're like I don't want them to think that I'm, I'm crazy, so I'm not gonna run up to them. Or we're not going to get excited about talking about our art and how we feel about it, because we're like I don't want people to think that I'm weird. I don't want people to think that I'm the weird, artsy, creative person. I don't want them to put me in that box. I'm more than that. I don't want them to do that. We don't want to look like eyes with somebody because we don't want it to be an awkward moment it looks like at a network event and introducing yourself and asking curious questions about people in the room.
Speaker 1:Most of us like to wait till people come to us. I remember I snagged too highly sought after internships because I worked the hell out of that room. I didn't wait for one person to come speak to me. I knew that all the applicants was there and I just went and just spoke to everybody. I introduced myself to everybody in the room. I spoke to almost every person in the room, not just people that I felt like were decision-makers, but the waiters, the servers, the people who were serving, the people who were bringing out the food. I was engaging with everybody and I snagged both of those internships. They had to take them away from me because of the Dern 2008-2009 recession, but it didn't take away the fact that I snagged both of those highly sought-after positions because I was self-expressing in the room. I own the room and I was self-expressing in the room.
Speaker 1:A big reason why we're not getting approached as high-achieving woman of faith, why we're not in high demand, is because we are too scared. We have been conditioned to be the good girl, to look a certain way, to be perfect. We do not want to show ourselves and reveal ourselves unless we can prove that we're perfect, unless we can prove that we've mastered it. We don't want people to see our flaws. We don't want to see where we're not imperfection. And whenever you're trying to be perfect, you create a disconnection from you and another human being, because humans know that they're not perfect subconsciously, and they do not want to interact with non-perfect people. That is why, when someone is vulnerable and transparent, we are drawn towards them.
Speaker 1:We love when people express themselves. We are drawn towards those people, but at the same token, we're like oh, I don't think I can do that. That's her, I admire her so much. I want to be like her when I grow up. But we won't do it. We just admire the person from afar, that self-express, acknowledging that we would love to be in that person's midst, acknowledging that we are drawn to that person. And so, instead of coming off ready for a connection, ready to frolic, ready to date, ready to interact, we come off closed off, we come off unsure of ourselves, which we are right. We come off passive, we come off disinterested and we're like why am I not being approachable? She looks like you're. You're not self-expressed, you're really worrying about what these people got going on.
Speaker 1:I know that I would, everywhere. I would go if the music in my sons like that now my husband got used to it is if I heard something like I'm dancing, I'm dancing wherever I'm at, I don't care where I'm at. I was dancing at the gas station, I didn't care where I was Not. My son does it. He does it everywhere. He dances everywhere and it was my way of like. If I feel the music, I'm finna dance. People looking at me from cars, people telling me like people watching me. I don't know what they're thinking. They're probably thinking I'm weird. They're probably thinking I'm amazing. I don't know, it's none of my business.
Speaker 1:Once you learn the skill of self-expression, men you like will start approaching you without you ever having to say a word. Once you learn the skill of expression, men will that you like will ask you out on dates and put in effort to show you a great time. Once you learn the skill of expression, men will like you like will ask to see you more often and request to go exclusive with you. That is what happens when you learn the art of self-expression and NC2C. That is a focus that we have to teach you to become a well-expressed woman so you can be a well-pleased woman. Nc2c we are teaching you how to be a self-expressed woman so that you can be a well-pleased woman, so that not only will you be able to communicate your ideas, communicate what you desire, show who you are and reveal yourself, which will attract men who are, like, really excited about it.
Speaker 1:A lot of us are attracting lower grade men because we're operating in a low grade, we're not even operating in the true expression of ourselves, and so that's, I mean, oh my god, self-expression is one of the most important things that you need to master, and so, if you're joining us in NC2C, that is something that we'll be working with you in the 12 months so that you can be self-expressed even if there is judgment, even if there is criticism, so that you feel confident enough to show off who you are, regardless of what people are thinking of you Men, women, children, whatever, regardless of that and be able to attract the men that are captivated by you, who honor you, who are excited about you, who want to show you off to his friends and his mama, who want to integrate all of that self-expression into his life that is inspired by your level of self-expression, right? That's the third thing. If that makes sense to you, put a one in the comments, if that makes sense to you. Self-expression, the fourth thing. The fourth thing that you need to do in order to be in high demand is show up. It's show up.
Speaker 1:Many of us say that we want to enjoy dating and we want to have these amazing dating experiences, but we're actually not ready to show up. How do women tell me today that she had only been on two dates no, like one date in the since 2020? And when I asked her what she did, she really didn't give me much as to what she did. Her main focus was I didn't want to make mistakes. If your focus is, I don't want to make mistakes, I don't want to waste my time, who are not ready to show up? Again, let's apply that to me, being an entrepreneur and a love coach.
Speaker 1:There was a difference in my clientele and my income when I was not showing up versus now, and a lot of that of me not showing up was because I had a fear of what if I mess up? What if I create content and no one wants to work with me? Those were the thoughts. What if I show up and do all this and no one wants to work with me? No one wants to become a client, no one wants to sign up for my program. I wasted my time creating content. If that is where your thought process is, you are not ready to go into be a high demand woman. You're not ready because mistakes are part of the process, mistakes are part of the process and there is no such thing as wasting your time. Everything is a learning lesson. There are no losses here. Everything is a learning lesson that God has put in your path for you to learn from. This is what I mean by.
Speaker 1:People say that they are people of faith. People say they are followers of the teachings of Christ. People say these things and when it's put in front of them, they want to run away, they want to hide, they don't want to engage. These are lessons of the Lord. I need you all to understand. None of this is a loss, none of it's a waste of time. All of its feedback, all of it is a lesson from the Lord. And when we understand that, we go in embracing the mistakes, not saying that we keep making them what we embrace and then we turn them into lessons. All the losses get turned into lessons.
Speaker 1:We understand that being in high demand does not happen overnight. So if you put yourself out there and no one approached you today, it doesn't become a mind-on approach. It's like, okay, we're going to show up tomorrow too, and then I'm going to show up the day after that and I'm going to create momentum. I am going to create a momentum of energy. I don't know if any of you have been on a weight loss journey before. When you first start doing things, it's like, yeah, I'm not really seeing changes on the scale. I'm seeing that I might be getting stronger, things like that but I'm not really seeing changes on the scale. But if you keep going, you start seeing the inches that are changing and your poles are fitting different, and then the momentum happens. It becomes like a snowball of momentum to where you are Now. You're addicted to the journey at this point because now you've created the momentum.
Speaker 1:We don't want to create momentum while dating. We think that the energy that leads to the experiences, the energy that leads to experiences, is like oh, if I do it one or two times, no, it's a domino effect. It's a ball of energy that's continuing to grow. It is momentum that is consistently produced, and when the momentum when we've cultivated enough. Let's think of a snowball. The bigger the snowball gets, the more snow it collects, the faster it rolls. But then we got this tiny snowball right here and we're just like it's not going fast enough Versus the other person who is allowing that snow to accumulate daily more snow, more snow, more snow, and then it is rolling faster than ever. And so much momentum, and so much momentum that is knocking down all the obstacles in its way. Nothing's getting in this way because it's so big now, but we want to start.
Speaker 1:That's why scripture says your faith must be small as a muster seed. You need somewhere to start. That's all you needed this to start. But you've got to keep going. You got to keep going to create the momentum. That seed, that muster seed when it's water, when it's nurtured, when it's taken care of, it explodes to be a big plant Doesn't remain a seed. It only remains a seed if it's not being nurtured and watered and cared for it. Okay, that's what that means.
Speaker 1:And so if you want to be in high demand, like you have to decide to show up and show up consistently If I want the clients that I want to have, if I want to have the business. I can't jump on stories and be like, oh, nobody booked the call with me today, it was a waste of story. Or post an amazing piece of content and say, well, nobody decided that they wanted to work with me from that post, like no, I cannot think like that. The way things work is I just show up and I show up consistently, and the momentum brings the clients, the energy brings the clients, the consistency brings the clients, and so when we want to be in high demand, we have to keep this stuff in mind.
Speaker 1:Number one believe that you're a highly desired before the evidence ever hits. You have to affirm before you can confirm with evidence. The second thing you need to do if you want to be in high demand you need to own your space. Your space isn't just your home. Your space isn't just your car. Your space is the earth and the fullness there is Wherever you are. You are supposed to be there. You are supposed to take up space. You are supposed to let it be known that this is a space for you and that you are welcome there and that you welcome the people there. The third thing is you need to be self-express. You need to be able to communicate authentically, verbally and non-verbally, who you are to the world consistently, so that people understand who you are as a person, as a woman, without you having to say a word, sometimes with you just being across the street without y'all needing to have a conversation. And then four showing up, consistently showing up. I'm here, I'm doing this, I'm on the apps, I'm showing up, I'm going to these events, I'm showing up, I'm headed to these events. I'm showing up Every single day. I'm showing up in my love life every single day. So those are the four things.
Speaker 1:If you have questions, please put them in the question box. If you put them in the question box, I will be able to answer your questions and really think about asking me high quality questions here. Think about if you only had a question to ask me and this is the last time we'll speak. Think about those types of questions when we're on here. Don't overthink it, though, but please, I'm not expecting questions like what's the best dating app for me to be on. Those are not questions I feel like are in your best interest. To answer means to get the answer to All right, so put them in the question box.
Speaker 1:And I do want to remind you, in C2C we help you get into a position where you're able to date deliciously and date multiple high quality men. And we do that by helping you become in demand so that you have a pipeline of prospects waiting for you, prospects who are excited about dating you, who are excited about engaging with you or excited about pursuing you right. And we help you learn again how to adopt the belief system that you need in order to execute on these things. We help you learn, like practice, on how owning the spaces that you're in and building the confidence to enter those spaces, and how to show up, whether you're online or offline. We help you become more self-express through activities and tools and homework for you to practice, so that you start feeling more of the good girl dripping off of you and more of your authentic self, of who God has called you to be, so that men are attracted to that version of you and not the dim lighted version. And then we help you show up. You'll be working with us for 12 months showing up, week after week. We challenge you to show up.
Speaker 1:I know some of my cuff links. You may not know, but one of the things that is mandatory now is that you have to be on camera. I used to make that like an option, but it's mandatory for you to come on camera during coaching calls. It is mandatory to come on, and if you cannot be on camera, you need to come back and watch the replay. That is a part of teaching self-expression, teaching visibility, teaching to own the space. If you cannot do that, please come back and watch the replay until you're ready to do it and until you're ready to be in the room. So that's one of the practices that we have them do.
Speaker 1:Another practice that we had one of the clients complete it was just her homework was to come up with 30 unique and interesting ideas about herself and have three of her closest friends or family members with what they think is interesting and unique about herself, and then she had to create three conversations with men based upon those things. She went from surface level conversations, conversations that was fizzling out to, within a week, she had a crush. She was having deeper conversations about it and she was like the men were really interested in what she had to say and then she got a date after saying that it was not leading to a date, because that's what happens when you become self-expressed. Someone says what might number three look like in the big beginning of online dating conversations? I think you're talking about being self-expressed, yeah, so, for example, when you ask a man like, if you ask a man you know, hey, handsome, besides me would put a smile on your face and he lets you know what put a smile on his face and he asks you what put a smile on your face, that is the opportunity to share the emotions behind what put a smile on your face today. Again, like, for me it's my cup of coffee, my mushroom coffee. Like, oh man, like I just really love the sound of the whistle in the tea kettle when it goes off and I just feel so warm inside when that happens. Like that is self-expression, to be able to do something like that, to be able to share in that way.
Speaker 1:Someone asked a question in the question box. Someone says, as a preacher's kid or a preacher, how do you self-express while maintaining respecting your position? That's the thing. You literally have to let go of the opinions of people. It is not your job to maintain people's respect for you. Like. That is not your job for it to you as a preacher or a preacher's kid. You have to decide how you want to show up and people are going to either. The only respect you need is when people come in your space they're able to uphold and abide by your boundaries. You do not need them to think of you a certain way, you do not need them to perceive you a certain way, and when you get into that, you no longer become self-express. At that point it is not your responsibility to control what they think. It is only your responsibility to show up in your fullness and have boundaries around that. So you might think that something is wrong with me as a preacher, but when you are in my church, this is like these conversations are not happening. I am not available for this type of question. I am not available for your opposition. I'm not available for any of that. Submit it to submit your concerns to the question box after services, but I am unavailable for any of this right now. But it is not your job to try to get people to think of you in a respectful way.
Speaker 1:A lot of people have lost respect for me over the years. I've had clients lose respect for me over the years and it is none of my business. I have clients that talk about like clients that have seen my evolution over the years. I know one of them. She took a class I had choose the right man class years ago, back in what 2018. And she was like I'm so embarrassed by Tora. I'm so embarrassed I ever took a class by her. She's on the pole now and I'm like that's none of my business. I feel sorry for you because you are still in the same place you were because of how you think.
Speaker 1:Hard. She says it's so hard to her. We say these things as if they matter, like we say it's so hard as if it matters. It doesn't matter. Hard doesn't matter. Life is about hard things. Life worth living is about hard things. So when we say it's so hard, none of that matters, it's all irrelevant. Hell, it's hard for me to come up with Instagram lives every single week and show up this way. It's hard to create content for you guys on a regular basis. It's really hard, doesn't matter, it's irrelevant. It's hard to build a multi-six figure business. That is really hard. While juggling all these other parts of my life, it's hard sharing your opinion when lots of people disagree with you. It's really hard. None of that matters and Flo says watching your evolution is inspiring and a lot of people disagree with it.
Speaker 1:Lots of people have lost respect for me and that is none of my business, I do not care. There are times where there's people that I did respect that I'm like it hurts, like it really hurts to hear it from, like to hear that they are talking behind my back or they have done something very unscrupulous. That's hard to hear. I remember a woman calling me disgraceful a few months ago. She called me disgraceful. That is like. But that's part of what I've chosen for myself, as I will post content and I will see my followers decrease 100 followers at one time. I posted a reel recently of me smoking a cigar and I had 100 followers unfollowing, over 100 followers unfollowing. They immediately lost respect for me and that is okay. That is their right, that is their choice. But I cannot.
Speaker 1:I remember hiding all the time, hiding who I was, hiding how I showed up, hiding what music I listened to because I didn't want to offend my group and I'm like, if I have to do that, are they my group? I don't think so. I think my group will accept me for who I am. And when I started showing off who I really was, my group came and my clients the clients that liked me before when I was hiding they were mad. One of them threatened to sue me. Somebody threatened to sue me because they felt like I was betraying somebody else. But then the real people they just came in droves. They came in droves.
Speaker 1:You guys like the smoking of the cigar. I like going to the cigar lounge. I enjoy it a lot, but, yeah, so I had to deal with that. You know, people really just not liking who I'm becoming. Now. There are people who do not like me on the pole. They think it's disgusting, they think it's not becoming of a married woman. They think that you know it shouldn't be done and that's none of my business. Yeah, because here's the thing You're always going to attract the men that are down with you off rip. You hear all these men talking about ain't no man going a woman who do blah, blah, blah. I don't get involved in them conversations Because as long as I have been self expressed, that's never been an issue Of attracting men who don't want it, because the men who do want to come out the droves because they know who you are, baby. Someone says I hate how cigar smell, but I love to see a woman fully expressed. So I smile when I saw that video. Yeah, vic says, because one thing is for sure your tribe going to show up and show out loud. Okay, yes, and I love y'all for it, and I wouldn't be able to have y'all as a tribe if I kept hiding, right.
Speaker 1:Someone says are you compromising? Set boundaries when you take opportunity to grow in a different way with them. I'm not sure what you mean by that. I can take a stab and guess that you mean you had a set of boundaries, but now things have changed because your life has changed, so now you have different boundaries. I'm assuming that's what you mean. And if that is what you mean, then those are no longer their boundaries to compromise. If you have changed and you have grown to be a different person, then those old boundaries aren't compromised because they are no longer your boundaries. So, for example, if you were a woman who believed in not kissing on the first date and then you change from that belief. You want to kiss on the first date, those boundaries no longer apply because those are not. That's not your boundary, no more.
Speaker 1:Someone says no, set with the guy. I actually do not know what you mean. I don't know the. I don't know what question you're asking me. It's very unclear. If you can ask it a different way, that would be amazing. Is there any other questions? Before I end this live, are there any other questions? Okay, charlotte, okay, cool. Anybody else has any other questions? Before I hop off, let me know. Let me know. I think we're good. Okay, all right. Well, beautiful people, if you're interested in booking a call with me, you can hit connect in the comment section or receive a link to book a call, or you could go to the link in my bio to book a call with me. This is the last week to book a call. The January 29th is the last day to enroll into 3.0 before the doors close, and so, yeah, I would love to see you inside of C2C. I'm glad you thought it was juicy today. I'm glad you guys enjoyed this. I am looking forward to bringing more juicy content.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm proud of y'all. I am proud of the fact that I am being consistent with going live every week. This is not something that I was ever consistent with. I would do it, you know whenever. But I'm like no, I want to challenge myself, to do something new. And my brain had a lot of drama around it and my brain was like, girl, you ain't going to be able to keep that up. You going to have all this stuff happen in your life. And I'm like, oh, I've been able to do it. When I said it, I've been able to show up week after week and I'm so proud of myself because I was so nervous about being able to do it and I am doing it. I put myself to the test. I made the commitment. I'm showing up for myself, I'm showing up for y'all and I have a higher level of trust in myself. A high level of my trust I'm. Actually, if I'm going to try to save this live. Instagram gives me issues sometimes, but if it doesn't save it, I'll put it on the podcast for sure. I have already told myself that I'm going to put these on the podcast, because Instagram is not always nice to me.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I love you guys. Thank you for allowing me to show up for you and chat with you soon. Bye, all right, queen, that was the episode. There were so many gems there. You pick at least one of them up, put it in your pocket and put it to use. I'm not playing with you like, seriously, those are the same things that my clients learn, that they are learning, that they are implementing, that they are getting results from. Please pay close attention and please implement. And if you enjoyed this episode, go ahead and leave a review. I love reading the written reviews. I appreciate them so much. So leave a five star review and then, if you really really loved it and you want some help again, my private power and passion partnership is definitely open. If you're interested in working with me one to one to become in high demand, to attract men on your level to date, deliciously towards the commitment you desire, go ahead and click the link in the show notes to book a call with me and we can have a conversation. All right, until next time. Bye.