If you are meeting men, you should automatically be going out on dates.
It doesn’t matter if you meet men in person or online.
It only takes one conversation to put a date on the schedule.
If you’re not going on dates, listen to this week’s episode to learn more about why you are talking to men through text and over the phone…but it is a struggle for you to go on dates.
Interested in working with me 1:1. Book a sales call HERE to learn more about becoming a private client so that you can become in high-demand in the dating world…
…AND attract emotionally available and financially established men who desire serious commitment so that you can choose your life partner in as early as a year.
If you are meeting men, you should automatically be going out on dates.
It doesn’t matter if you meet men in person or online.
It only takes one conversation to put a date on the schedule.
If you’re not going on dates, listen to this week’s episode to learn more about why you are talking to men through text and over the phone…but it is a struggle for you to go on dates.
Interested in working with me 1:1. Book a sales call HERE to learn more about becoming a private client so that you can become in high-demand in the dating world…
…AND attract emotionally available and financially established men who desire serious commitment so that you can choose your life partner in as early as a year.
Take a self-paced 6 month journey to do the REAL foundational work to prepare for the love life you desire - Formation
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@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
Speaker 1:
What's up, lover girl, welcome back to the Date With Sense podcast. Oh, you know, I'm always excited to talk to you, girl. I'm always excited to bring you some gems, to bring you some information that is going to not just change your love life but your entire life. And so today I want to talk about something that consistently comes up with clients. I consistently see it, within like the first week or so, when clients come to me and I ask, I say hey, are you going out on dates, like what's happening there? Oh, no, I'm not going out on dates. I'm like, okay, are you meeting men? Yeah, I meet men.
Speaker 1:
I've been talking to a lot of men, but you know it's not going to a date. And I'm like, tell me what's happening here, what's going on? Well, I meet a man, you know, whether in person or on the app, and then you know, then we talk throughout the week, maybe talk for a couple weeks, and it just never goes to a date. And what I'm realizing is that us, as women, we have a huge emphasis on talking. We like to talk, talk, talk, talk and converse, and we confuse conversing with connection. So I'm texting this guy throughout the week. Oh, it feels so good. I'm talking on the phone with him every other day, feels so good, like I'm hearing from him all the time. So we're messaging, we're talking and you're not going out on dates, because the emphasis is put on the conversation and not the in-person connection. So what I want to say to you if you are meeting men but you are not going out on dates, you are talking too much, talking too much. Basically, after 48 hours, you still messaging men on the dating apps you match with them. You still messaging them.
Speaker 1:
I recently had a private client and I was like how long you, you know how long has these conversations been going on? Right, I'm looking at like she sent me the screenshots of the conversations and they had been going on. Right, I'm looking at like she sent me the screenshots of the conversations and they had been going on for days and I'm like no, let's try to move these men off. Not try, but let's move these men off or get off the app within 24 at the latest 48 hours. Like, let's not all of this talking. We don't need to do this right, and even if it's within a 12, 24 hour mark, we don't need to have long conversations in the app. Within two, three exchanges on the app, we can literally move off. We do not have to do all of that talking in the app trying to figure out where you live, where you live, where you from, where you from, what you doing, what you up to right, what travel plans you have coming up Like get off the get off the app. Right, Too much talking, let's get ourselves in position for a date. Much talking, let's get ourselves in position for a date.
Speaker 1:
But sometimes, when you finally do decide to exchange phone numbers and you're on a dating apps, then you just you start texting throughout the day. Good morning, queen, good morning. What are you up to today? Oh, nothing, just work. How you doing, I'm good, I'm fine, just a bunch of talking and texting and getting on the phone, and then you find yourself investing hours on the phone with one man throughout the week. Right, you'll find yourself investing hours with this. And the thing with this is you do this with no date planned, no date scheduled, and this is how you meet men, but you're not going out on dates because there's just too much talking, girl, there's too much talking. We need to get you on some dates. And so whenever a client comes to me and they're doing this. The shift happens almost immediately when I'm like no, it's just too much talking.
Speaker 1:
I had a client tell me the other day she was like the guy that she wanted to go on a date with. They had been talking like every day during that week but there was like no clear plan of what was happening. And I said how would you feel about investing so much in a conversation, so much of your time this week, and a date is never planned and you never hear from this guy again, like how would you feel about that? And she really had to sit with that question because she had to admit to herself that it would really bother her that she had spent several hours this week on the phone with this guy building up this anticipation to meet up with him. And then it fizzles out and there's no date because she was front end investing. That's what we need to call it Front end investing, right, front load investing and like getting excited about the date. That was never planned. Okay, and it's just too much talking and not enough dating.
Speaker 1:
Now I know that you believe that all the talking you're doing with these men is helping you get to know him better. I know I've been doing this for a very long time, so I know you think this is helping you get closer to your goal and you believe that all these quote unquote deep conversations, long conversations over the phone is helping you build a connection, and it's not. What it is doing is building a fantasy ahead of time. You have not met this man in person. You have not seen his nonverbal behavior when you are in front of him. You have not felt his energetic field. You have not been able to pick up on the things that he's actually putting out into the world without ever saying anything. You're not there. You're not there in person, and so you're creating this fantasy around who this man is ahead of time and not going out on dates.
Speaker 1:
The key here is, instead of focusing on conversations before you meet up with men, focus on scheduling a date and then really think about how much time is in your capacity to converse with this man that you would be okay with if he decided not to show up for the date. So think about it. So if you could, if if you could talk to him for two hours during the week and that could be split up over several different days without you feeling some type of way about him showing up. That's how much time you spend. Think about how much time you can spend with them talking on the phone with the man, and be completely okay that the date fell through. That is your capacity right, so that you don't get bummed out when you've invested all this time.
Speaker 1:
But the focus should always be the date I know for me, be the date I know for me it was. We have a date scheduled and I'm not talking to you throughout the week. You know, because what happens is being a virtual chatty Patty can often, um, I know for me like, create like a false sense of connectedness and I haven't met you and then for a lot of people it delays meeting up for a date. So, if the date isn't scheduled, it can delay meeting up for a date and sabotage a real life connection that can lead to meaningful. To lead to something meaningful Because when you focus on building rapport through texts and phone calls, it can subconsciously create a comfort zone that reduces the motivation to take the next step and meet in person, which is why you can end up talking to a man over the phone for weeks, even months, and you never end up on a date and you're like well, the reason why I'm not going on dates is because he hasn't asked. The reason we haven't gone on a date is because, um, you know it hasn't come up. It needs to come up because you have decided it is coming up.
Speaker 1:
This is where and I keep saying over and over again that we should not be waiting for men to lead we need to lead with our feminine desire and make these things work for us. So we need to get into the position of this is my standard. My standard is that I, when I meet you, I go on a date within a week of meeting you and unless something you know maybe you're out of the country, or maybe you're out of town or something like that I'll have some. Um, what do you say? I'll have some leeway there, I'll give you some leeway there. But if we're both in town and we're talking on the phone and we connect, we need to meet within the week. And if you are not able to meet or if you don't want to meet this early, then we are not in alignment and I am going to just decline connection from you because we are not in alignment and I am going to just decline connection from you because we are not in alignment. And then we need to be okay with declining men, even if they are attractive, even if they check off a lot of our boxes, even if they six foot five, six foot seven, like whatever right. Because as long as we are continuing to accept what men give us, we will continue to experience less, we'll continue to not experience what we want because we are relying on men instead of standing up and advocating for ourselves. So this is what I want you to work on this week If you meet a man, I want you to determine at what point you want to go on a date and I want you to express to whatever man you're talking to, whoever you're talking to, that you would love for him to invite you on a date.
Speaker 1:
And a date is only a date if it is, if we know the day of the date, the time of the date and the location of the date. If there is no day and time and location, you do not have a date. I'll have clients come to me and I'm like Tora, you know I haven't heard from him and we have a date coming up and I'm like okay, so you know what day and time is a date. Well, he said it could be on this day and we don't have a location yet. And I'm like, well, so you know what day and time is a date? Well, he said it could be on this day and we don't have a location yet. And I'm like, well, you don't have a date. You do not have a date if a man brings something up and there is no day, time and location.
Speaker 1:
So therefore, you need to make plans as if you do not have a date, okay, and create and make sure you solidify that you have a date. So that's what I want you to do this week, this week. I don't want you to wait, I want you to meet somebody this week. Make plans to meet someone, whether offline or online, and land your date. And even if this man says, no, I don't want to meet up this soon, that's okay, because you advocated for yourself and you stood up for yourself and you made it like. You made it abundantly clear that this is your standard and this is your desire, okay. So that's what I want you to do Now.
Speaker 1:
If you want to take it a step further, in one-to-one coaching, I help you secure quality dates on a weekly basis, without you getting lost in any digital chatter or wasting your time, and I help you quickly and confidently inspire men to move you off the dating apps within just a few hours not days hours and how to initiate conversations at the right time that lead to plan dates, even if you live long distance. So I know if you're thinking like, oh well, I met him long distance, that doesn't matter. I have clients that live long distance from you. Know, guys, that they meet on the apps and they are already scheduling dates for the weekend. Hop, like somebody's hopping on a plane. There's no excuse, right? So if we are living long distance, we need to make plans to connect for a date and somebody's hopping on a plane, whether you come, fly out to me or I'm or you're going to fly me out, but there's a date happening, even if you live long distance. So that's no excuse to be a chatty patty with somebody and working with me.
Speaker 1:
I'll show you how to keep conversations short and sweet 10 minutes, that's all you need, right? We don't need a lot of hours. It is the quality of the conversation, not the quantity of the conversation. So I'll show you how to keep these conversations short and sweet 10 minutes, but also extremely engaging and purposeful, so that men are excited about planning a date ASAP. So, instead of you passively waiting for men to initiate plans, you'll learn to lead with your feminine desire to communicate your standards for dates and inspire men to embody their masculine, to execute on them for you. And you ain't got to worry about investing hours into conversations that fizzle out over time, because you'll establish boundaries that protect your time and you'll invest your energy only in men who seek genuine connections through in-person activities and real life interactions. Okay, so, if you're interested, I do have spots available for private coaching and I am extremely excited to help you date and build real connections with financially stable, emotionally available men so that you can choose your husband in as early as a year.
Speaker 1:
So the next step is the book of sales call with me. You can do that by tapping the link in the show notes or, if that's difficult, if there's some way you can't like, click in, cause you're listening from a certain type of player. You can go to my Instagram and hit the link in my bio to book a sales call and on that sales call, you and I are going to have a face-to-face conversation on Zoom and we are really going to go and parse through what's happening in your love life and what obstacles you're experiencing and what's getting in your way and what frustrations do you have. And then, what do you actually envision for yourself, what do you want to experience within the next three months, six months? What would you love to have happen? To know that your love life is a success, to know that your love life is a success.
Speaker 1:
And then, during our call, I will provide you a step-by-step plan that will help you get to the vision that you desire and so that you can start seeing results in as early as a few weeks, in the first 30 days of working together. So the next step, if you're interested, is to book a call and if you've enjoyed this episode, go ahead and give us a review. Go ahead and make sure you implement. Just do the one thing I'm asking you to do, girl, and you'll start seeing results quickly, okay, and I'd love to hear about any results that you create from the things that I'm sharing, because I know this has been helpful. So, all right, girl, until next time. Bye.