Most women of faith worry about appearing desperate or thirsty while dating.
It’s because we don’t wanna turn men off.
We don’t wanna be taken advantage of
And we don’t want our feelings hurt.
The problem is, this state of worry is causing us to attract the wrong men and sabotage our opportunities for a real, meaningful connection.
Tune in to this episode to learn the root reasons behind why we are so terrified of looking “thirsty”...and how to move away from this fear to finally have meaningful relationships with men.
Interested in working with me 1:1. Book a sales call HERE to learn more about becoming a private client so that you can become in high-demand in the dating world…
…AND attract emotionally available and financially established men who desire serious commitment so that you can choose your life partner in as early as a year.
OTHER POPULAR RESOURCES:
Learn how to use your words to attract better men & create better dating experiences - The Conversations that Inspire Commitment Live Virtual Workshop
Read my online essay on why the way we date is broken- Modern Dating is Hard
Learn the basics behind attracting quality men and what it takes to build a rotation. - The Cuffing Season Retreat Bundle.
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
Most women of faith worry about appearing desperate or thirsty while dating.
It’s because we don’t wanna turn men off.
We don’t wanna be taken advantage of
And we don’t want our feelings hurt.
The problem is, this state of worry is causing us to attract the wrong men and sabotage our opportunities for a real, meaningful connection.
Tune in to this episode to learn the root reasons behind why we are so terrified of looking “thirsty”...and how to move away from this fear to finally have meaningful relationships with men.
Interested in working with me 1:1. Book a sales call HERE to learn more about becoming a private client so that you can become in high-demand in the dating world…
…AND attract emotionally available and financially established men who desire serious commitment so that you can choose your life partner in as early as a year.
OTHER POPULAR RESOURCES:
Learn how to use your words to attract better men & create better dating experiences - The Conversations that Inspire Commitment Live Virtual Workshop
Read my online essay on why the way we date is broken- Modern Dating is Hard
Learn the basics behind attracting quality men and what it takes to build a rotation. - The Cuffing Season Retreat Bundle.
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
What's up, lover girl? Welcome back to another episode of the Date With Sense podcast, where I help you, as a high achieving, unchurched woman of faith, date deliciously and attract the types of men that you desire towards whatever romantic constellation you want, whether that is marriage, a committed relationship or you just playing out there in the streets. I am here for it all Now. So this episode is for the ladies who are often concerned about looking desperate or thirsty while dating, or showing up thirsty and desperate just in general out here in a modern dating world. But before we get into that, just want to read a review from someone that posted on the podcast. You guys know I love these reviews. She says courageous and practical. If you are a woman who partners with men and you want to enjoy or find dating productive, take a listen. I appreciate Tora's content because it's direct, practical and empowering. The concepts she shares are simple but require radical responsibility and honesty to do consistently, and I've been able to better position myself to be more authentic in my interactions with men in a way that doesn't require me to play silly games. I've also been able to enjoy my time with men in a way that I previously did not, which has enriched the quality of my dating experiences. The pragmatic shift has been a win for me and I'm glad her content is available for free via the podcast. So I just want to thank you, queendr20. I want to thank you for leaving that podcast review and thank you for everyone who does leave reviews again, because it helps us reach more people in the algorithm and get this good stuff out to other women who needs this content to the show.
Speaker 1:As women of faith as us, coming from the background that we've come from, we worry about appearing desperate and thirsty while dating. We are very anxious about looking a certain way to men. We're just like we downplay our interest because we're so anxious we want to act or look aloof. We don't want to look too interested because we don't want to look cheap. I think one of my newest clients she told me she was like Tori, I just don't want to look cheap. I'm like girl, you're not going to look cheap.
Speaker 1:We downplay our interest in men Like we want to act and look a certain way so that he sees us. You know he sees us as like somebody he has to work for, like we want men to work for us. So we downplay our interest. We often overthink what we want to say, we overthink our text messages, we overthink what we say on phone calls during dates where in our head like, oh, did I say the right thing, or what does he mean by that, and what should I say when he said that? And I don't want to say this because I don't want to come off like that Overthink the things we want to say and we play hard to get. So we act like we are busier than we are. We act like we are not available. We act like you know he's going to have to, like, put in all this time and effort and he's going to have to pay this amount of money before I ever, you know, do blah, blah, blah, and it's like you're playing hard to get.
Speaker 1:We even hold back in expressing our feelings. So I remember a previous podcast, way back when I can't even remember which one it was, but I think it was about attracting emotionally unavailable men, when I was talking to a client and she didn't want to tell a man that she loved him first because she wanted to know that if he, she wanted to know if he loved her before she said anything and she didn't want to look thirsty by just expressing herself, even though that was the truth. And the thing is, once she let him know that she loved him, this man opened all the way up, wanted to do all the things for her and with her, and this is a man that she had accused of being emotionally unavailable, but when she led with her feminine opening, the masculine swooped in right to contain that with her. So if you are worried about appearing desperate or thirsty while dating, I need you to know two things. The first thing I need you to know is worrying about appearing desperate or thirsty. No, no, no, I don't even want to start that. I want you to know three things. Let's just do that. The first thing I want you to know is you're not thirsty unless you're thirsty. You're not desperate unless you're desperate.
Speaker 1:If you've been in my clubhouse rooms back in the day, you know that was one of my favorite things, when women would come up to the stage and they would ask Tora, if I say this, does this come off thirsty? If I do this, does this sound desperate? And I would always say you're only thirsty if you thirsty, meaning you are only thirsty if you actually need the validation. You are only thirsty if you need men to validate your experience, you are only thirsty. If you need men to fill a void in your life, you are only thirsty. If you need men in order for you to manage your emotions right.
Speaker 1:Some, like some people, are dating so that they don't have to feel an uncomfortable feeling. As long as they got a man in their life, they don't got to feel the uncomfortable feelings that come up for them, right? You are only thirsty when you need men in order for you to feel better about yourself, in order for you to navigate the world better, like you. If you need men for that, you are thirsty. That's what I'm going to say. And the thing is, a lot of women who are asking for things are not, or a lot of women who are asking me about this aren't thirsty. They're simply concerned about being thirsty, right. They're not desperate, they are just concerned about looking desperate. And so that leads me to the second thing that I want to say.
Speaker 1:I need you to know that if you are worried about being looking desperate or thirsty, you are operating in a people pleasing capacity, aka self abandonment. You are people pleasing and you are self abandoning who you are as a woman, because your concern is how you look. Your concern is what people think about you. Your concern is what a man might think of you. You're worried about like, oh, I don't want to be my truest self because this man might think I'm thirsty. And what if he does? Now? What? What if he does? Is the answer play a role or to not take an action that's most aligned with us, because that's what he thinks? Is that true? Is that what we're going to do? So whenever you're concerned about worrying about looking a certain way or appearing a certain way, it is definitely you self-abandoning who you are as a woman. You are definitely in people pleasing. You are not being authentic. You are not being authentic. You're not being authentic, and what happens is we get into this state of performing for men to look a certain way for men, and it causes us to create connections with men who do not appreciate us for who we are.
Speaker 1:That's the third thing I want to say. As long as you are worried about looking and appearing desperate or thirsty, you can't be authentic with men, which means that you are going to have a hard time creating authentic relationships with men. You're going to have a hard time connecting with men who appreciate you as a woman. You are always going to be hiding pieces of yourself, meaning that men are only going to see pieces of you. You're going to stay exhausted trying to figure out how to keep the performance up right.
Speaker 1:How can I get the ring? I got to keep this performance up. I got to keep holding my tongue. I got to keep this performance up. I got to keep holding my tongue. I got to keep wearing a mask. I got to keep not being vulnerable. And it's all ridiculousness. It really is at its very core.
Speaker 1:And that leads me to my fourth thing is men are not a monolith. If you do something or say something to a man, let's just say you, let's just say you express to a man and you let him know that you are excited to get to know him. You're really happy that you met. There are some men that are going to think that's desperate and thirsty. That's just the way the world works. And then there are going to be other men that really appreciate your emotional intelligence, your emotional availability, and he is going to be so excited that he's connected with the woman who was in touch with her divine feminine and who has created an opening for him and this opening has allowed him to fall into her. And as he falls into her, he can experience her, he can feel her, he can connect with her, and that leads him to falling in love with her and that leads him to wanting to establish something serious with her that is meaningful and of depth. Men are not a monolith. There are going to be some men of depth. Men are not a monolith. There are going to be some men. I know there are men that think that.
Speaker 1:What's his name? The Tony Gaskins guy. He thinks online dating is only for hookups and players and desperate people, yet he has never been on a dating app. He has ever, never, ever done it. And so, because of his limited understanding of it, without him actually trying to understand and again, this is like no shade at Tony Gaskins, this is just my observation he admitted he had never been on a dating app, yet he has a lot of opinions and the scripture talks about. You know, a wise man doesn't form an opinion unless they hear the whole matter. Right. They have to hear the whole matter first before they're able to come up with an opinion and conclusion, and that's not what he's done. So that's his opinion, and so he has people that watch his videos are in the comment section that are like oh man, I don't want to be on the dating apps because Tony Gaskins, who is a man that I think is attractive and he is married and he's in a stable home and he's out here teaching us he said it was desperate, so I'm not going to do it. I'm not even going to try it because Tony Gaskin said it is desperate or thirsty, right?
Speaker 1:When there are plenty of quality men who are actually on the apps looking for marriage, looking for stability, looking for their queen, looking for the woman that they're going to pursue, looking for the woman that they're going to spoil. And they express it Again. My clients are meeting these men all the time. My clients have married some of these men, right? So we have to understand that men are not a monolith and you have to be okay with knowing that some men are going to think you are ridiculous. You're going to have to be okay with thinking that men are going to think that you're too much.
Speaker 1:So I remember asking like one of the things that I, like I've always loved, is asking men really like intriguing questions that get them to think, and the types of men that I like and are attracted to, really enjoy answering those questions. And so they're like oh, wow, this is such a great question and they will answer it. And then there are times where I would end up connecting with men who there was this one particular man and going back men in general who just did not like those questions. Right, there were men who did not like the questions that I was asking, and this one particular man he's like you're gonna like why do you keep asking these questions? Like why can't you just be normal? Why we gotta do all that? And at first I kind of like doubted myself because I'm like, again, I got in my head about it. He's very handsome, you know. He tall, like the men over six, six feet tall. Have you overthinking some things, right? Have you questioning your damn self? I'm like you know he's tall, right, he has some of the you know, obvious qualities that like check off the box that I would be looking for.
Speaker 1:And that man was saying, like I needed to be like, why can't we just be normal? Why can't it? Why is it sounding like this? Like he thought it was an interview type of thing. That's how he perceived it and I got in my head about it, but then I was just like, okay, okay, I don't have any issues with these other men over here, and so I stopped asking him those questions, but I ended up like regretting it over time because he proved to not be as wise, thoughtful or intelligent that I would expect from a man that I would like to date and in fact, he tried to lean on me a lot.
Speaker 1:Like my labor, like my actual labor of hey, well, you know this, you can help me out with that, or hey, you know this, or you can do this, you can research this for me. And I'm looking like I don't, you're not paying me for any of this of this, like you want me to labor for you, you want me to handle this for you. It wasn't something that I was looking for, but because I decided to pull back on who I actually was as a woman and types of questions that I like to ask, all because this fool was attractive and tall and I think he like owned a restaurant or something like that, like he has some ambition there, and I'm like, why did I do that? I did it because I want, like I was, like I was convinced that well, I had doubts that this was something that I should do, and I ended up regretting it because I wasn't being my full self. I didn't create like a real, true connection of death because I was dealing with a man who didn't have capacity and, instead of like ending the connection, I tried to keep going on with it and just, and I told myself, I said, I said I'll never do that again. I'll never do that again where I am holding back because I think somebody thinks that I'm doing too much, right.
Speaker 1:And the thing is, we don't even realize that this behavior is consistently leading us to attract men who don't really like us for real. And if they like us, they don't really like the complete package of who we are. They like glimpse and snip snippets. They like the woman that we are when we're, when we're performing the way they want us to perform. That's the woman that they like. That is the woman that they are attracted to versus hey, this ain't even me. I don't even have these types of conversations, right, I don't even do this kind of stuff, or I do more than this and these men are more interested in chasing us or the role that we're playing, rather than the woman that we actually are All right. So they want to chase the role that we're actually playing All right. They're not interested in forming a true connection with us. They're not actually ready for true depth with us as the woman that we are there.
Speaker 1:So a lot of us have had experiences with men who chased us. I mean it went hard for us like was calling every day, texting every day, right, like just putting in a bunch of effort, only for him to disappear. A lot of us have had that experience, effort, only for him to disappear. A lot of us have had that experience. And it is because a lot of times, at the very beginning, they are chasing our representative. We like to complain about men having a representative, but a lot of times we are experiencing men's representative later on because we did not expose our true selves.
Speaker 1:We had our representative up, the one that acted like we were not emotional, the one that acted like we were not that interested, the one that tried to play it cool. We had that mask up. The one that did not want to be vulnerable. We had that mask up and that man chased and chased and chased that because that made him feel more comfortable because we didn't want to look desperate, we didn't want to look thirsty. That part of us, that woman, made these men feel more comfortable.
Speaker 1:But when we started opening up because we felt safe, we were like, oh, he's putting in effort, he might be the one. Let me expose myself, let me share my emotions, which is why we're like, flabbergasted. We'll be like. I finally shared and opened myself up and now he's gone. It's because you finally did it, girl. You should have did it at the very beginning. He would have been left, he would have been, he wouldn't have wasted your time. But you wasted your own time by allowing this man to chase, a caricature of you and not the real version of you. And when you finally felt safe to be yourself, he was like I don't like this person, I don't like. I don't like how this openness makes me feel. I do not like how this type of communication makes me feel.
Speaker 1:Or like when you're communicating to men and they don't want to be held accountable, or they feel too challenged by you calling them out on stuff, like we hold back because we don't want to rock the boat, and they're like I don't want to be held accountable, I don't want to deal with a woman like this and so they bounce. Okay, because these men are more interested in chasing the role that we're playing rather than the woman that we truly are. And if we are avoiding looking desperate and thirsty, it creates this polarity with men, with certain types of men where they just want to chase us. It is not because they like us, it is not because they're interested in a relationship. A lot of times it's because they just want to win. It's just the competition, the animalistic competition.
Speaker 1:In a lot of unevolved men and men who do not accept the wholeness of who. You are right. There's a good chance that they're very uninvolved, unevolved and very unconscious in the way that they live, and so they love chasing and we think that's leadership and we think that's manhood, we think that's strength, when a lot of times it is the most primal, animalistic piece of a man that's doing this chase and we're calling it some kind of leadership. Right, I had to tell my client the other day cause she was just like I want a man to chase me. I don't want to look desperate, I don't want to look thirsty, I want him to chase me. And I'm like girl predators chase, manipulators chase, serial killers chase. Why do you want a man to chase you? Why do you want to operate in a way where men have to chase you to prove that they're interested?
Speaker 1:An evolved, quality man who's in alignment with you wants to dance with you. He wants to have a great dance partner where there are push and pulls and direction from both parties. Push and pulls and direction from both parties, there's consent from both parties and you are gracefully moving around the dance floor instead of his hands grabbing at you and you are walking away fast or running away fast. That is a very inappropriate way to connect with a grown ass man as an adult. Okay, those types of games are for children. Now that we are adults, we want to dance with men. We do not want to play those types of games.
Speaker 1:But the thing is, you're probably listening to this and you're like well, tora, can you please step off my toes? Can you please give me my edges back? Can you please stop off my toes? Can you please give me my edges back? Can you please stop reading my life? I want you to know that it is not your fault. It's not it's not your fault that you are so scared of looking desperate and thirsty that you do not reveal your true self and you end up continuing to date men who do not appreciate you, who do not align with you.
Speaker 1:You worry about looking desperate and thirsty because, as women of faith as high achieving women of faith like we were conditioned to be good girls, and as good girls we needed to behave a certain way to be desired by men. We were told by our family, like moms, we were told in the pulpit that that's what we needed to do, and we were basically told in so many different ways that we can't be easy to get, we can't be fast, right, we can't be easily accessible because we're like this special jewel, and this special jewel is the diamond in the rough, and this man needs to be able to climb a high mountain, the Mount Everest, to come get you from the top, and that is how you know that you are worthy. And so you must not show any type of interest, because it means you're fast girl, it means that you're going to be taking advantage of you. Men are going to take advantage of you if they can't, if they don't work hard, and that is very dangerous rhetoric to even think about connecting romantically with men this way, if you have to have a man chase you for him to prove that he's a quality man, again, think about who does chasing in nature, right, who does the chasing? When we look at things, predators, right, Manipulate, like people who manipulate. Like those people are going to chase and they want to win. So I want you to think about the conditioning that you have from a very, very young age that you can't look a certain way because a man might not want you anymore. And that sounds very depressing Now that I'm thinking about, like we can't even be your true selves because we want to. People please for men, so bad. And then also, we want to be desired by men so badly, so bad that we fear their criticism, we fear their judgment. We're like oh man, I really like him. He's cute, he's tall, attractive, he's ambitious. He got this going on. Like I need him to like me. I need him to like me so bad I don't want to double text, right I need him to like me so bad. I don't want to put my feelings out there, because then he's going to take advantage of me. I'm like that. That is not how you connect with men, this is not how you form romantic relationships. So here's what I want to share with you today Instead of being so concerned about what men think about you, their judgment and their criticism, I want you to shift your attention to what you actually desire as a woman, how you actually want to show up as a woman.
Speaker 1:How do you desire to show up? And this means honoring what you truly think. We're not holding back our thoughts about men because we don't want to look thirsty when we share the thoughts. Right, it means honoring what we truly want to communicate. Like oh, I am, like I actually love this man, right? I love when clients come back and tell me I told him I love him, tora, and he was like I've been waiting for you to say that, like I'm so excited because that's what they really wanted to communicate. They honored what they wanted to communicate. They didn't make it mean now this man was going to take advantage of them. They didn't make it mean that now they lost power in the situation or that the man thought that it was desperate. They were like I want to connect with you. I'm a grown woman. I want to connect with you as a grown woman. I want to let you know that I love you, even if you never say it back, like I just want to let you know that I'm not concerned about what you think about me. This means how you truly want to express yourself with men. You want to buy a gift, do it.
Speaker 1:I remember there was somebody in one of my groups I don't have so many groups on Facebook and she talked about buying one of the men in her rotation a gift, and there were women in the comments talking about girl, you should never buy a man a gift. It looks thirsty and desperate, like these were not her man, like this was just a man in her rotation. And the girl in the comment she was just like I'm like again, this was a client of mine. She was like I'm like, again, this was a client of mine. She was like I'm secure. She said I'm secure in who I am. I wanted to buy a gift because that was my desire. Like that's what I desired to do. And so I bought him a gift. Like I don't have to play games here. This is what I wanted and what they didn't know about this particular client. This client was getting treated like an absolute queen. That little gift she got. That one man her rotation was buying her flights, right, first class flights. Her rotation was getting her very nice gifts, because gifts was her love language, and they were buying her very nice luxury items for her.
Speaker 1:And so, while people were in the comments judging her, saying that she, you know, would look desperate and thirsty, you know she's, she's my client, of course, so she's she's not going to be concerned about that. She's like I'm secure in myself. I don't need a man to validate me. I'm not concerned about what y'all think about me. I'm not even concerned about what these men think about me, because I'm, I'm dating deliciously, I'm having what I want from these men, I'm experiencing what I want from these men.
Speaker 1:This means not so when you shift your attention to what you actually desire. This means not being anxious about expressing your desire for a date. Right, you're not going to hold back and say what's the man's job to bring up a date? It's like no, I'm going to do it. I desire a date. I'm going to let him know and I want him to execute that for me. I'm going to, I'm going to double text because I want some clarification here. I'm not going to be concerned about um, am I looking too desperate Cause I double text. He didn't text me back Like. This is what I want to say to him. I don't like. If he thinks he's desperate and thirsty, then we're not in alignment or reaching out first. There are women are like.
Speaker 1:I was reading this post today, it was like dark feminine energy, like people are wild. People are really taking the divine feminine and creating some type of caricature out of it. It's very disheartening and it's very egoic and mind based. But in the caption it read that you let him initiate 70% of the communication and I'm like that shows that like you're, like he's showing the initiative. I'm like this again, this is weird. Right To even put a percentage on. It is weird.
Speaker 1:If I have a desire to reach out first, I'm going to reach out first. And again, my clients. I would love my. I love when my clients share their screenshots in the community and they would show like here's where I reached out and this is what happened, because I did it, because I don't teach women to play games.
Speaker 1:When you play games, you win stupid ass prizes with these men versus just staying true to who you are, you actually end up winning men who appreciate who you are in your fullness, who do not need games to be attracted to you. If a man needs games to be attracted to you, he is only attracted to you for the competition and for the win. He is not attracted to you for the emotional connection and the intimacy and the trust and the depth. He's just not Okay Whatever feels right to you. So when people say I'm not doing girlfriend, I mean wife duties for husbands, like I'm not going to cook, I'm not going to do that, I'm like. So and this is coming from a person who does not cook I do not cook. If cooking is your desire, if that's what you desire and you're not using cooking to win him over. You're not using cooking to validate you with this man or to look like wifey material. You're doing it because you just desire to share a meal with him, then do it. Do it.
Speaker 1:We're not concerned about looking desperate or thirsty. Do it because it is a desire of yours and, as women of faith, we need to have more faith in our desire than the judgment of men. We need to have more faith in our intuition than the criticism of men. We need to have more faith in our intuition than the criticism of men. As women of faith, we have a lot more faith in the bullshit of unevolved men than our own emotional desires, needs, capacity and wants. And I know, for me, always being open and expressive with men and sticking true to myself has been like has always been like a game changer, right? One of the compliments that I've always gotten from men is I love how you always know what you want. Because I'm expressive, I'm very clear, I'm very direct, I don't hold back, I'm not like, I'm not concerned about looking desperate or thirsty. Right, I know how to communicate and let someone know oh, I think you have an amazing smile, I think you're very attractive and I'd like to stay connected. Right, I remember posting on Facebook letting everyone know when I was in, I was in college, and I let everybody know.
Speaker 1:I posted. I was like hey, I'm single, I'm going to be graduating soon and I'm looking. I just made the post. Nothing about that to me was like desperate or thirsty, because I wasn't desperate or thirsty. I had a very I wouldn't, I wouldn't call it secure attachment. I don't think I was secure at that time, but I don't wouldn't even call it like. It was never anxious for me. I might've been closer to avoiding at that time than anything, I think because of my upbringing. But I was secure in knowing that me posting that I was single was just going to result in some DMs and some inboxes and I could just sift through them, right, I posted. I said you got to know your 10 commandments to date me. It's what I posted. It was so funny. But I've also double text men so that I could get some follow-up or some clarification, like hey, I haven't heard from you and last time we talked we mentioned this but you have not bought it back up, like I've done that before.
Speaker 1:Again, if I'm looking desperate and thirsty to that man, that's none of my business. I have let men know that I've enjoyed the first date. I would love for the man to invite me on a second date. I, in the previous podcast, I let y'all know that I told my friend that I saw two men at the part at her party that I want her to put in a good word for me. Right, some people be like that's desperate, that's thirsty. I don't give a damn because I got what I want At the end of the day. It was delicious men. Delicious, attractive, intelligent, emotionally available men who flew me out, who took me out on nice dates, who I just had an amazing time with. So you call me desperate or thirsty, all you want, but I got what I wanted and I'm like I had this experience. When people are talking about how horrible dating is, right, I've never existed in a time where dating was horrible.
Speaker 1:I have waved over men that were staring at me Like I'm like. I see you staring at me, sir. I've waved at them to come sit with me. I would be at like a bar or something like at a restaurant bar. See a guy staring at me and wave him over because you staring, sir, just come sit by me, so you ain't got to look that hard. Let's eat our meal together and have a conversation. Nothing about that screams desperate to me. I desire because you handsome and you looking at me, so come sit down. I have walked over to men and started a conversation. Right, oh, he has a doggy and I want to talk to him about his doggy. Let's have a conversation.
Speaker 1:I have reached out to men first on dating apps. It's not about like. Oh, I need him to reach out to me first in order for like. No, like, I want to reach out to him, that's. I'm gonna do it. Um, some women have said I don't like bumble because it makes women put in the lead, and I'm like, oh, we're back to this, needing to prove ourselves instead of simply following our desires. The feminine desire always leads, no matter what the masculine executes. I've even told men I love you first, I love you, I love you right, and allow them the space to do whatever they needed to do with that. Of course, they love me back because I'm just freaking lovable. Like who wouldn't love me Anywho.
Speaker 1:When you focus on your desires instead of what men think, you will feel more confident and in control. When you interact with men Okay, you will feel more confident and in control when you interact with men. Okay, you will take the actions that you actually want to take, the actions that automatically come up for you, without the constant worry about a man judging you. You will avoid wasting your time because you will know upfront if a man has capacity to appreciate and support you and you will stop feeling anxious and start to enjoy the process of getting to know men. And you'll also attract men who are genuinely interested in you, your desires and your feelings, instead of men who just need you to perform or play a role for him, just so he can feel more like a man, aggressive because he's on the chase right. You'll have more capacity and in one-to-one coaching, if we were working together.
Speaker 1:I help you drop the good girl facade that has been keeping you in shackles most of your adult life in your brain, overthinking how to show up with men, how to interact with men, and I will help you design a dating life that prioritize your needs, your desires, your personal expression, even if you've received backlash or rejection in the past from men for expressing yourself. I coach you each week on the mind drama that you have that is keeping you stuck in the same situation. So, for example, I have women that go to my workshops. I have women that consume all my Instagram content, watch my stories, listen to all my podcasts. They can regurgitate my stuff, they know all of my frameworks and they still struggle with dating right. And it's not because they don't understand my concepts. It's because they don't know how to integrate the concepts and what they've learned into their bodies. What they've learned into their bodies, they have not learned to transmute what they've learned in their brains in their body because of all the mind drama that they're addicted to in their mind that comes up.
Speaker 1:So one of my newest clients I love working with her to clean up the like. She didn't realize how simple the actions that I was asking her to take was, how simple they were until I started cleaning up the mind drama and showing her each week like this is what's happening in your brain, this is why it's not integrated. This is why you're not taking this particular action and then cleaning that up with her, showing exactly how to clean this up, so that it can be in your body and not just head knowledge, right? Because you can cheer me on and say, tori, yes, I agree with you and it's all head knowledge. It's not embodied. And so I teach you how to integrate the concepts in your body so that it's second nature for you.
Speaker 1:I will teach you how to communicate as your truest self, your truest expression, so that you know exactly how to interact with men in a way that feels freeing, in a way that feels authentic, in a way that is aligned with exactly who you are as a woman, without you having to overthink everything, without you having to complicate everything. You will just show up knowing that you are enough. How you express yourself is enough, and there are some men that are not going to like it and some men who will, and you will stop trying to make men happy at your own expense with your own feelings. If you are interested in working with me in this capacity, I encourage you to book a sales call. If you are interested in working with me in this capacity, I encourage you to book a sales call. And this sales call is for you to discover how you can work with me to enjoy dating more by taking men off the pedestal and prioritizing yourself first.
Speaker 1:When you book your sales call, we are going to hop on Zoom. We're going to see each other face to face over Zoom and we're going to go into depth about what is not working for you, what is working for you and what is a plan that we're put together for us to work on as we work together for the next few months. So go ahead and book your sales call, girl, um, and if you enjoyed this episode, go ahead and leave a review. Leave a review, um, five stars and help other people find this amazing content, because I think it's great. I think it's amazing. So, girl, until next time, bye.