If you’re a woman of faith who struggles with putting in too much effort while dating
….but not getting much in return from the men you date, this episode is for you.
You’re the woman who is always making time
You’re the woman who is there to provide emotional support,
You’re the woman who is always keeping conversations going.
You’re the woman who is always there to make men feel good about themselves.
Join me in this episode to hear the difference between “putting in too much effort” and putting in the right kind of effort for delicious dating results.
Interested in working with me 1:1. Book a sales call HERE to learn more about becoming a private client so that you can become in high-demand in the dating world…
…AND attract emotionally available and financially established men who desire serious commitment so that you can choose your life partner in as early as a year.
OTHER POPULAR RESOURCES:
Learn how to use your words to attract better men & create better dating experiences - The Conversations that Inspire Commitment Live Virtual Workshop
Read my online essay on why the way we date is broken- Modern Dating is Hard
Learn the basics behind attracting quality men and what it takes to build a rotation. - The Cuffing Season Retreat Bundle.
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
If you’re a woman of faith who struggles with putting in too much effort while dating
….but not getting much in return from the men you date, this episode is for you.
You’re the woman who is always making time
You’re the woman who is there to provide emotional support,
You’re the woman who is always keeping conversations going.
You’re the woman who is always there to make men feel good about themselves.
Join me in this episode to hear the difference between “putting in too much effort” and putting in the right kind of effort for delicious dating results.
Interested in working with me 1:1. Book a sales call HERE to learn more about becoming a private client so that you can become in high-demand in the dating world…
…AND attract emotionally available and financially established men who desire serious commitment so that you can choose your life partner in as early as a year.
OTHER POPULAR RESOURCES:
Learn how to use your words to attract better men & create better dating experiences - The Conversations that Inspire Commitment Live Virtual Workshop
Read my online essay on why the way we date is broken- Modern Dating is Hard
Learn the basics behind attracting quality men and what it takes to build a rotation. - The Cuffing Season Retreat Bundle.
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
Hello Queen, welcome back to the Date With Sense podcast. We have another amazing episode for you today and this particular episode is for you If you really struggle with liking dating, if you struggle with wanting to open yourself up, to fall in love, to connect with men, to allow yourself to enjoy men, because you have what do I want to call it Dating PTSD. And the reason why you have this PTSD is because in all the connections that you have with men the relationships, all the connections you felt like you have always put in all the effort. You've always been the one to make an effort, but you haven't gotten much in return for showing up and putting in the effort. So you're the woman who is always making time. You have always adjusted your schedule for men, or you've always like made time to meet up, even when it was inconvenient for you, and the man probably was like the man that you were talking to is probably less flexible, or he was the one that was canceling plans or rescheduling when you were like I'm going to adjust my schedule, I'm going to make time to meet up. When he was less flexible, you're the woman who was probably there to provide emotional support. So, whatever was happening in his life, all the struggles, all the burdens. You were there on the phone in person, listening attentively. You were there while he was during, you know, handling his challenges or his tough times. You were there trying to give advice. You were there trying to provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or whine on whatever, but you had not received the same level of support from men.
Speaker 1:You're the woman who has been keeping conversations going right. Whether you first meet the man or you've been dating for a while. You have felt like you have been the one carrying the conversations, initiating conversations when you haven't heard from him in a while, and you have been the one that would like ask all the questions to keep the conversation flowing, while the man either you know if you reach out he will respond to you, but he doesn't necessarily initiate or when you're having conversations, he's providing like short responses, responses that don't really feel engaged. You're the woman who's probably investing a lot of time, a lot of energy in the connection, in the relationship, including, you know, planning activities between you two. You're really focused on and anticipating the other person's needs. So if the man's birthday is coming up, if he has something happening in his life like you remember it. You think in advance, you try to support him in all of this. You try to make all the efforts to strengthen the connection and you're realizing that your efforts are not being reciprocated. Okay, here's what I want to let you know.
Speaker 1:If you are that woman, the truth is you are not putting in too much effort. You're not. It's impossible to put in too much effort. The problem is you're putting in the wrong effort. All right, you're putting in the wrong effort. Whenever you're putting in the right effort. There's no limit to that. It's in abundance. You can keep putting in that effort without burning out, without feeling resentful. You're just putting in the wrong effort, and the wrong effort is any action that you take that put men on a pedestal. That is always going to be the wrong effort.
Speaker 1:And everything that I just mentioned above you making all this time for men, even when it is inconvenient for you, when you are providing emotional support for men, right and during all, like their struggles and their problems, and you're trying to help them solve their problems. And you're trying to help them solve their problems Whenever you are trying to pull teeth, to keep conversation going, to keep the connection going, whenever you are investing your energy and just trying to anticipate what these men will want or enjoy and appreciate, when they have not reciprocated or have not even like shown where they're matching your energy. You have men on a pedestal. You have them on a pedestal. You are, for example, you're over accommodating. That is a pedestal because you're allowing him to cancel plans. It's why you change your schedule to match him All right.
Speaker 1:You're putting him on a pedestal by being too agreeable and this is why you do not call these men out about not keeping their promises. This is why you go along with their plans. Uh, even though you're not excited about those plans. This is why you play a role for acceptance. Like I'm going to be more feminine, fit, friendly and feminine. Is that what the people saying these days, the podcast bros? Like I'm going to speak this way and dress this way, I'm going to be wifey material. I'm going to show him I'm wifey material. You're playing a role for acceptance. You're sacrificing your own needs to make men happy. And if you're ever thought to yourself like hey, I don't want to say this, I don't want to do this because I don't want to hurt his feelings or I don't want to cause a problem Nine times out of 10,. You are doing this, you are putting men on a pedestal and that means you are putting in all the wrong effort and this, my dear, is why you feel played, this is why you feel bamboozled, this is why you feel too drained to want to date.
Speaker 1:I remember when I got my first real taste of this, when I got my first real taste of this of putting in all the wrong effort, and it literally changed my entire life, and it started out with my son's father. Anybody who knew me during that time I was a teenager. I met him in my teenage years and continued a relationship with him until my very early 20s I think 2021, I continue even. It was kind of like on and off during that time, but this is where I put in all the wrong effort and I will stress the hell out I was goo goo gaga out over this man and anybody who knew me this during that time knew I was crazy about him. I would do things like we lived.
Speaker 1:If you drove by car, it would take you about. It would take you about a 10, 10 minute drive. 10, was it 15 minutes? I don't know if it was 15 minutes, but a 10 minute drive, and I would literally walk from my house all the way to his home, all the way to his home. So if it was a 10 minute drive, right, the walk was probably about 45 minutes from the house. And I would walk miles just to be you know, and I need you and I miss you, and I would walk a thousand miles if I could. I'll walk them damn miles, just so I could see him, just so I could be with him. I walk all those miles to his home and if he said, hey, I want you at my house at a certain time, like I want you to be here, I want you on my bed, I was walking, and this is before I had a car. I was walking right, and this is before I had a car. So I think I might have been 16, 15, 16. I think I might have been 16 years old during that time.
Speaker 1:And I remember when he told me to be in his bed one time and he decided he wanted to go out to the club. Told me to be in his bed one time and he decided he wanted to go out to the club and me being the good wife, the girl who stays out of the street wifey material. I was like, okay, you know, I'm going to lay in his bed. He said I'll be back and this Negro left me in his bed around 10 pm. He was not back until the sun came up.
Speaker 1:It was like 6 am in the morning and the thing is he didn't even drive himself back home. His friends drove him back home. I was scared to death because I look out the window and I'm seeing him in the passenger side of the car. Mind you, I have not filled you in Like we can. We came from poverty, so I was like we were living in in the hood and stuff like that. So I just want to put that out there. So when he pulled up in his car, well, they pulled up in his car and they, they jumped out of the car, left him in there. I'm thinking, oh my gosh, is this the ops? The ops kill him, right? Did they kill him and leave him in the car and just drove him to his mama house so his mama can see him? And so I'm going out there. First of all, I'm at his house all night long, all by myself, and I leave see him in the car. He is past the hell. I'm thinking he's dead. I opened up the car, he falls out and I drag him into the house.
Speaker 1:I didn't realize that his leg was broken. He had gotten in a fight and I really had to like. I sat there, I helped nurse his leg, I helped schedule the leg appointments for him again, think about how old I am around these times, right, I mean, I'm a teen. I'm scheduling these leg appointments for him, for him to get his legs set. And I told him I was just like, I just want some more time from you. I feel like you're not spending time with me and I'm like, now that his leg is broken, he will spend more time with me. And he didn't.
Speaker 1:I thought that if I nursed him back to health, that he would see that I was the real, true, you know person in his life and he would devote more time and know that that Negro just got some crutches, found his way back into a car. He was right back, posted up where he'd been with his homeboys, right, wasn't really spending time with me and I thought that, oh, I'm going to put in all this effort, right, to get him to spend time with me. That didn't work out. Um, I would hide, you know, let's just say illegal substances on his behalf. I remember when he went to jail I looked all over the city for him, like, and he had ended up going to jail and he was facing like 10 years. It was a lot of years. He was charged with some stuff. Let's just say that. And me being the good girl, the wifey, the ride or die, the supportive figure, I was like again, I'm in my teens. I don't even think was I in college at that time? Was I 18? I'm trying to figure. I know we had a child by then. I know Vaughn was born at that time, so I might've been 18. I'm thinking I was 18 years old and I was like okay, so he's in jail and he's facing 10 years. Not only does he need to be bonded out, but he needs to have a lawyer.
Speaker 1:So I drained my savings account. I literally drained my savings account and I think I had maybe about $600 in there, $500, $600 in my savings account and I pulled it out and I went to where the corner boys were the corner boys that were close to him, right and I got with them to flip my money for, like to buy some drugs and we were going to flip the money. So I was going to buy drugs so I could, so we could sell the drugs and I would have flipped the money to have extra money to bond him out of jail, to pay the bail's bondman, to get him out of jail. And so that's what I did. I drained my savings account. I had the Kona boys, you know, I bought some substances and had them sell the drugs for me, substances and had them sell the drugs for me. And I was able to flip that money, get him out of jail. And I'm like, okay, now, now he sees that you know I'm on his side, he's going to love me more. I'm a ride or die. I'm supportive. You know, I was there when his home because dumb boys was not trying to get him out Right, they, they when he went to jail.
Speaker 1:He just went to jail and it was me that put in all the effort to get him out there again as a teen. And I'm like, ok, and it was during tax time, I had a baby, right time I had a baby right. So I'm like all right, I'm going to get like at least what three, four, $4,000 for this child. So I took the money and I hired a lawyer on his behalf because he was going to need one. He didn't really have the money to hire an attorney and I'm like I didn't want him to go to jail for 10 years, and so I put a lot of effort into it.
Speaker 1:Actually, this attorney was one of my good friends because, even though I was in poverty living in the hood, I was an AP classes. I was smart, I was smart as hell and I was an AP classes and so I was surrounded by other kids, you know, that had like intact homes and things like that, and their parents were doing things in the world. And so one of my friends, her father, was an attorney, and I remembered that because I used to go to her house of study and I'm like, hey, can we get your father on this? Her father gave me a discount and paid the money to get him a lawyer, and he was just like you know, sam, you know I'm never going to forget this. You know, thank you so much. You have my back. You know I'm going to spend more time with you. And I'm like, yeah, I'm wifey material, he's going to spend more time with me.
Speaker 1:Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. That didn't happen. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. That didn't happen. He went right back to this, to the same thing. Same behaviors, hanging with the same man that did not get him out of jail. That did not hire a lawyer because he got off them charges like we went to. I was at all the court cases. I was at all the like the court that when he was having court I was there for all of that and he got off of all of those charges. And even when I got my tax money one year like I helped, I bought him a car, bought him a car and when he filed he was literally supposed to pay me back for paying back the lawyer. Do you think he did that? No, he bought himself some rims. Do you think he did that? No, he bought himself some rims. He bought himself some rims and did not pay me the money back. And so all this time I'm like just showing how I'm a good girl. You know I'm a ride or die. I'm putting in all this effort. I'm there when you need me. I'm there when you get in a fight at clubs. I'm in there when you ain't got no car. I'm in there when you stuck in jail like I am there right.
Speaker 1:I put him on a pedestal because I needed the validation that I was worthy, that I was validated, that I could be needed, that I had a strong male figure in my life that appreciated me. Because you know my dad, he was kind of out of pocket at the time and so I was looking for that type of validation. I was looking for that kind of love of just giving and giving and giving and giving and giving more of myself and just not getting shit back. And I'm telling you that experience. Now some of y'all might be listening to say, tori, I ain't never did nothing like that. I am telling you this story not so that you can compare yourself to me, but so that you can see the extreme version of this.
Speaker 1:Because that extreme version of giving of myself to him, I told myself never a damn again, never again will I overextend myself in this way to a man, never will I over invest in this way to a man, never will I put a man on a pedestal in this way again in my life. I made a vow. Now, does that mean I did not have instances of over-investing in a minute? No, that does not mean that. But when I noticed it, I pulled out. I was like this is what we not finna do. I was like this is not what we not finna do, because I recognize this pattern, I recognize that this is the inner child in me needing validation Nope, I'm out, I'm done.
Speaker 1:I realized that this action, this one action, was an overinvestment. We not finna do it, but with Vaughn's father it was a lifestyle of overinvestment. It was a lifestyle in putting in too much effort and because of that I went on the other side and like, grew very cold, like I just got very, very cold and it was like it was an overcorrection of all the times I had overinvested him. I'm just like, I'm cold to all y'all men, don't you know? I don't trust you. I don't want y'all talking to me. I'm pretty much done with y'all for real, for real, and I'm just going to just use y'all for meals and sex. At this point I'm just, I just I don't want nothing else. And again, I've corrected that as well. But that's kind of like where I went.
Speaker 1:I went to the side of I'm not going to let a man break my heart again. I'm not going to let this happen. I grew very, very cold when it came to men. So I got to the point where I wasn't putting men on a pedestal and I started putting in the right kind of effort and I want to say to you that you are not putting in too much effort, you're just putting in the wrong effort. The right effort is taking actions that are always going to prioritize your pleasure and well-being. Anything that you do that prioritizes your pleasure and your well-being is the right effort in relationships, is the right effort in connections.
Speaker 1:Okay, right, I literally had to get away from Vaughn's dad to to release myself from the hold. I moved away in a different state to get away. That was my right effort. I saved up my tax money and I got the hell up out of that. So I can't stay by this man. I got to go, I got to leave. Right, I had to prioritize my own wellbeing and my got the hell up out of that. So I can't stay by this man. I got to go, I got to leave. Right, I had to prioritize my own wellbeing and my own pleasure. Because when you do this, you can never put in too much effort, you can never be taken advantage of by a man, you can never feel overlooked and undervalued, and this means while you're dating. So just take yourself out of my story, out of my extreme story, and into your probably regular experiences that you have had with men.
Speaker 1:Prioritizing your pleasure and well-being means putting effort in honoring your own plans, putting in the effort in respecting your own schedule, even when a man you're excited about asks you out, right. So, for example, if a man you really like, he asks you to go out, let's just say Thursday, right, but you go to the gym on Thursdays like that is your gym day, instead of being like, oh yeah, I can go out with him. I really like him, I'm excited to see him. He's saying he's not really available for any other day, so I will make myself available. Like, nah, you honor your plans to go to the gym and if he can't do any other day, y'all are just out of alignment. It's just clear as day Like, no, I'm actually no. If you're not able to make Thursdays and I don't think this is going to work right Because this is my day for myself, this is my gym day, okay.
Speaker 1:This means putting in the effort to communicate your desires and expectations openly to men Most of us. On this, I want men to lead kit. We let men tell us what they want to do and we follow what men want us to do. But if you're putting in the effort of communicating your desires and standing on your expectations openly when men invite you out, if a man that you really like is inviting you out for drinks and you're not excited about that, then you will communicate it. You're not going to say, well, I mean, it's a date, I'm going to go. I really like him. It's like hey, evan, you're inviting me on this date for drinks and although I'm really excited to get to know you, I don't want to do drinks. I would much rather do this instead. I don't want to do drinks. I would much rather do this instead. I don't want to do drinks.
Speaker 1:Okay, if a holiday is coming up or your birthday is coming up and you've been dating this guy, instead of being like, well, I hope he's seen all the effort that I've put into him and if it was his birthday and if it was a holiday, I would be doing this for him, instead of just hoping he shows up you would let him know. You would stand on your own business and let him know like, hey, my birthday is coming up. How would you like to adore me? How would you like to? I would love to be treated for my birthday. I would love to feel supported for my birthday. Would you like to adore me? How would you like to? I would love to be treated for my birthday. I would love to feel supported for my birthday. Would you like to support me there?
Speaker 1:But instead we put in all the wrong effort in just doing things for men and showing up for men and hoping that, okay, he's going to reciprocate because I've been bending over backwards for him and he's going to take the hint like baby. No, absolutely not. And number one we don't do things so men reciprocate. We do them because we love to do them. We do it because it makes us smile. We do it because it lights us up. We do not do it so that men can reciprocate. We don't need men to reciprocate our actions. We need men to show up for us and to fulfill the desires, the specific and unique desires that we actually have at the time that we had them. We don't need them to reciprocate what we've been doing. But whenever we have a desire, whenever we want to be supported in a way, whenever we have needs we would like, we have an expectation that he's able to show up right, so we're not sitting around and hoping. This is why I love.
Speaker 1:Y'all know Christina, a former client of mine who became a really good friend. She sends a text message every single year for the day her birthday month starts. So her birthday is in November and she starts November 1st texting not just men, she texts her friends too and she sends a picture and she's like it's my birthday month. How would you like to adore me this month? How would you like to take care of me this month? She doesn't wait to see if people are going to show up for her. Wait to see if people are going to show up for her. She puts all the effort in her own pleasure. She puts all the effort into her own well-being.
Speaker 1:If you've had a rough week at work and you would love some support, instead of just sitting alone by yourself in resentment thinking about how you show up for everybody else and no one shows up for you and you just spiral out on negative thoughts about that, you would prioritize your pleasure and reach out to the men in your life, or a man in your life, and say, hey, I've had a rough week at work and I really would just love for you if it's possible to just get a foot rub, be able to lay my head on your shoulder, and I just need a hug right now. Or if you ain't got no man in your life reaching out to your friends and family about it. You are prioritizing your own pleasure, right. You have space and energy.
Speaker 1:I had a client this week who communicated like this is like her first time, prioritizing her pleasure. She was thinking about like she wanted to go visit her family but she was really really tired after work and she felt like, oh no, I got to go see them or they're going to be mad at me if I don't see them. But she was like, nope, I have to make the effort in prioritizing my own pleasure here. And so she took the time and she cared for herself during that time and she rested up and she went to see her family at a later time when she felt refreshed and resourced. And guess what, nobody was mad. And even if they was no, that's not our responsibility, but she had so much space and spaciousness and openness to just engage because she didn't have the burnout and she wasn't pushing herself to be drained, right? And that's what's happening when we're dating men, like we're really pushing ourselves and we're not really taking care of ourselves, which is why we'd be like I'm done with this date and stuff.
Speaker 1:It's just too much, right, it's too much effort. This means putting in effort, the effort to say no and walk away from men who think your desires and expectations are too much. What we like to do is we like to say, okay, well, he has the potential to do better, so I'm going to kind of stick around. Or I see glimpses that he can do better, so I'm going to stick around. I'm going to keep throwing hints and see if he changes. I think that he can change. That's a lot of effort in not getting what you want. That's a lot of effort in brain space of not getting what you want. The effort needs to be communicating your boundaries. The effort needs to be actually letting a man know that this relationship or this connection or this interaction no longer serves you and you are going to end the connection. That's where the effort needs to be. The effort needs to be saying no to men who think that meeting for a date in the first week is too much. Oh yeah, that's too much. I think we need to talk a little bit longer. Sir, I respect the way you want to do things, but I'm actually unavailable to continue to talk in this way.
Speaker 1:I actually remember a conversation, a dating app conversation I had with a man. Like, I saw his profile. It was decked out just the way I like it. He was extremely thoughtful, he had like so many similarities to me and I'm like, wow, this is an amazing profile. Right, it's an amazing profile. And so we exchange. So one of my boundaries is I am I'm generally unavailable to to stay connected on a dating app, right, on a dating app for more than 48 hours, right.
Speaker 1:But it was in the same day we had like two or three exchanges. I'm like, hey, this is enough for us to get off the phone call, get off the phone. And I was like, hey, I would, you know, I'm very interested in in having a phone call, a video call. And he said, hey, I hope you understand, I would like to talk on here more, just a little bit more um, before exchanging phone numbers. And I was like, you know, I'm not even mad at that, I will see, you know. I say you know, I respect that I can have a few more lines of communication with you. He said, trust me, I'm not going to be your pen pal. And I was like, okay, but y'all, when I tell you, the next few lines of communication was just not in alignment with me, mainly because he was asking questions that didn't matter. He was just like, hey, do you have kids? Hey, do you like to do this? Hey, hey, do you. And it was just like none of this. This is not a dynamic conversation.
Speaker 1:The reason why I say it doesn't matter is because the main reason that you're connecting on a dating app is to create an emotional connection of some sort, of some chemistry of some sort. It is not to get to know people. You do not get to know people in the app. That is the number one killer of you know dating app conversations is people trying to get to know each other. You get to know people in the app. That is the number one killer of dating app conversations is people trying to get to know each other. You get to know each other on the phone, on the date. If you don't want to get on the phone, you meet in public and go on a date whatever, but he was just asking all of these mundane questions that didn't even matter in the grand scheme of things, and I said you know what? I know? I said that I would go. I know I said that I would go. I know that. I said that I would continue to have the conversation with you, but I am, and you said that you were not going to be my pen pal, but that's what I'm feeling right now and this is not in alignment with me and I no longer want to have this conversation. We're not in alignment and I wish you the best.
Speaker 1:And then he came back wanting to give me his number. I was complete at that time. I was very complete. I'm not about that putting in the wrong effort, I'm just not about doing that right. So I wasn't going to put him on a pedestal to be like oh my gosh, his profile was just amazing. It's rare that I see these kinds of profiles. He's so handsome, right. It's rare that I see these kinds of profile. He's so handsome, right. It's rare that I see this profile with this level of looks. I wasn't trying to grasp for any of that, because I'm not going to pedestalize no man. I am always going to prioritize myself, and that is what I did, and I just left the conversation alone because I'm going to put in my kind of effort, right.
Speaker 1:But the reason why most of us high achieving women of faith like we're not making the right kind of effort while dating is because we were conditioned to be good girls, we were conditioned to play nice, we were conditioned to show up for others, we were conditioned to give and be helpers while ignoring ourselves, which is why we we coined the strong friend that needs to be checked up on, because we ain't got no damn boundaries, because we don't know how to take care of ourselves, and so we want other people to. We want other people to be responsible for taking care of us, because we aren't responsible for taking care of us. Right, we ignore ourselves. We show up for others, especially when it comes to men. We were taught to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish and that it would push men away. And yeah, it's true, it will push men away, and I love that for everyone, I love that for myself.
Speaker 1:But the truth is, prioritizing your pleasure never pushes the right men away, it just doesn't. It attracts the right men, and that's what I love Because when you make the right effort and you prioritize your pleasure while dating, you shift from self-sacrifice to self-respect and the right men love it. You will ask men for what they want and the right men will give it to you and want to please you. You will attract men who are eager to match your energy and they are excited to please you. You will feel adored, supported and well-loved in all your dating relationships because you are showing up for yourself and the right men love women who respect themselves, who show up for themselves, who ask for what they want, who prioritize their pleasure. They are not looking for women who need validation through the connection, who need to be needed, who need to be seen as um, as a woman who is who um is responsible for building him.
Speaker 1:These men are already built right. They're not out here like yeah, I need a woman like you in my life. Yeah, you're the type of woman I need, so I can do this and so I can do that. Nope, it is not the type of man, those types of men you always going to put in the wrong effort, too much effort. In those type of men, any type of man, any type of man are like yeah, I need you in my life so you can help me do this and help me do that Like nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Right In one-to-one coaching, I make it super easy for you to put yourself first during the dating process, even if you have a long, extensive history in over-investing in men, and I will show you how to get what you want and need without you feeling selfish or that you're doing too much.
Speaker 1:Using my signature hot girl solar system setup as a client, you will change your relationship with over-investing and dating effort in just two steps. Number one you will go through a process where you create five types of boundaries and then implement them using my love a girl limit framework, and this will make it possible for you to ask for what you need, to feel safe while dating, to trust yourself more while dating and to stand up for what you need while you're interacting with men. And so this process going through this process will create a safe space for you to express your desires to men so that they know exactly how to please you. So that's the first step. The second step is I will provide you with a simple way to connect with compatible men and to quickly in connections with men who don't meet your needs or respect your boundaries, using my magnetic field core value framework. And just this training alone will cause you to start releasing your good girl conditioning so that you stop performing for men, so that you stop trying to need validation from them right, so that you stop over-investing in men and you start receiving from them right, you start receiving from them, and I have created a step, a specific step-by-step process that makes it easy for you to date for your own pleasure, while still keeping dating very purposeful. For your own pleasure, while still keeping dating very purposeful. And together we will make sure that you express your desires to men so that they know exactly how to please you All, right.
Speaker 1:So, if you're interested in working together, I have private client one-on-one spots available and in this program we will work together for six months and in this period we will have weekly coaching sessions. You will have access to my signature curriculum that is designed to take you from like, even if you didn't have a love life, even if it was non-existent, that will move you into, like, exclusivity and into an engagement for marriage. Right, it's designed to do that. So you'll have access to my signature curriculum. You'll have daily access to me through telegram chats, like we can leave each other. I often love to leave voice notes there, each other. I often love to leave voice notes there. I love to coach.
Speaker 1:If you come in there and you have questions and you need some insight or you're having some belief issues or you have some screenshots you want me to review, that is the place that we do it and we do it on a daily basis there, and it is designed for you to build a rotation, to create options for yourself and men so that you can choose your life partner, and as early as a year, if you're interested in this, you can book a sales call. You can book a sales call with me at the link in the show notes or you can go to my Instagram bio and click on the link there, and then, when you book a call with me on the schedule, we'll meet on zoom, face to face, and we'll have an hour long conversation. It'll be for a full hour and you and I will have a conversation about what's happening for you in your dating life. Where are you currently struggling with, where are you currently frustrated about what's not working for you? And I will provide you a step-by-step blueprint of what we would work on together if we decide to work together. So there's no pressure on the call. The call is designed for you to make a decision on whether working with me would make sense or not. That is the purpose of the call. So I do invite you to jump on the call and we can talk about it and help you make the decision whether it's a yes or no.
Speaker 1:So, all right, lady, I know this episode was amazing. I already know it. I know that it provided you with some different perspectives, some insights, certain things that you can work on, and I would like for you to start working on prioritizing yourself and your own well-being and snatch these men off the pedestal, take the rug up from under them and go ahead and leave a review. Leave a review on the podcast. I've been seeing some of the reviews posted from last week and I have been enjoying reading them. If you appreciate this podcast, you want to leave a love offering. Please go ahead and leave a review. And until next time, oh, I got a juicy, juicy episode coming up for y'all. I think it's going to be next week. Oh, it is going to be juicy and I'm excited about sharing it with you. So tune in tune in next week for that juicy episode. Um, I got a lot to share, but um, all right, I will talk to you soon.