My Dress Drama / Mastering Hurdles with Berkeman's 4,000 Weeks

071. What happens when life throws you unexpected twists and turns? In this heartfelt episode, I share my personal journey of dealing with obstacles like finding the perfect dress for my son's wedding (and it not fitting one week before!) and getting back into the swing of work. Despite the challenges, my experiences led me to valuable insights found in Oliver Berkman's book, 4,000 Weeks Time Management for Mortals. So, get ready to embrace life's uncertainties and discover how to make the most of your time!

From dress drama to adopting a work mindset, this episode is filled with relatable anecdotes that I'm excited to share with you. Learn how a push mentality helped me restart my gym routine and find a last-minute solution to the dreaded "groom's mom dress." Plus, dive into Oliver Berkman's strategies for prioritizing life goals and managing time more effectively.

Ready to give your lifetime goals the attention they deserve? I challenge you to create a list of 25 things you want to do, prioritize your top five, and say goodbye to the other 20. Could I ever possibly do this? I'll tell you how to journal this exercise, with the guidance of Berkman's "4000 Weeks Time Management for Mortals," I'll reveal actionable tips for achieving your dreams while maintaining a sense of hope for the future. So sit back, grab a pen, and let's make the most of our 4,000 weeks together!

00:00:00 The Mic That Messed Up the Show 00:12:44 Groom's Mom Dress Drama and Work 00:18:35 Prioritizing Life Goals and Time Management 00:20:02 List of 25 Things 00:27:44  Supporting and Connecting

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Transcript

Marijanel: 0:00

Hello and welcome back to the show. I am excited to finally be back in production after a couple of weeks off, which were actually unscheduled time off. I got some stories to tell you. I'm finally back with another Marijanel show. I have just had a birthday, family wedding, family from out of town visiting, some of whom I hadn't seen for a decade. It has been such a busy time the last couple of weeks the time of my life. Really. A lot has happened that has just been pivotal, amazing. I've got so much to share. Welcome to the Mary Janelle show. So glad you're here. Let's get started with today's episode.

Marijanel: 0:46

In the planning of the Mary Janelle show a lot of things went wrong. I actually had a show pre-recorded that was meant to air while I was in the busy kerfluffle of the wedding And it didn't get edited. So I just decided to let it go because, you know, sometimes in life we just got to let things go. Family comes first. I don't want to always be about work and production and got to let the content go sometimes. So that was okay with me. Then yesterday I decided to tackle another re-recording because the previous one I felt was timely and relevant to that particular week. It was my birthday week and I had shared some birthday body love, a little bit of appreciation towards my body. It was really really meant to air that particular week. So how to let that one go? And yesterday I re-recorded and my microphone was not plugged in correctly. The sound ended up going through my webcam and sounded terrible. So my son, who does editing for me through his digital creators company, he ended up saying, mom, it sounds so bad, I don't think you should air it. I really wanted to just air it anyway because I was like that was so much work. You know how it is after you've had some time off, you've had a lot of fun, a lot of high and low, different kinds of emotions, and then you got to get back to work and get focused.

Marijanel: 2:09

It was so hard for me to get back in the studio yesterday and record and then to find out that I did it wrong and that it just sounded terrible. I was like push, publish anyway, just get it out there, get it done. And my son was like no, this time quality control needs to override all your emotions. So I decided to scrap yesterday's recording. We spent the afternoon plugging in all my stuff again because I had had guests actually stay in my office, which is a very unusual situation for me, that wouldn't normally happen. But we packed out the house and had people everywhere and I unplugged everything. And you know how it is when one of your systems gets taken apart. It's hard to get back together again and get back in the flow. So here I am, after spending yesterday plugging in everything, testing the sound, setting up my system again. I'm happy to be back and I'm really hoping that everything's working right now, because when I'm done this, i'm going to give it to Connor, my son, and get it edited and get it uploaded And the Mary Janelle show is back.

Marijanel: 3:22

So what do I have for you today? First, i'm going to share a few of the stories of the happenings of the last couple of weeks, because they're interesting. You're going to enjoy them. And then I have a little bit that I want to share with you from a book that I've been reading, that you're going to definitely want to hear, about 4,000 weeks time management for mortals by Oliver Berkman, and I got some aha moments from this that I thought would bring some real value to you today in today's show. So first let me just share a couple minutes about the last couple weeks, the time of my life, the time that actually shut down the production of the Mary Janelle show for a while.

Marijanel: 4:01

My son got married and I now have the most beautiful daughter-in-law another Mrs Knight. I couldn't be more overjoyed. Do you remember in past episodes when I've shared with you how life often has bittersweet moments when a child graduates and it's a bittersweet feeling like, oh, they've grown up and they've moved on, and it's sweet because you're excited for them, but it's bitter because you're letting go of something precious from the past. Well, i have to say that this wedding was only sweet. There was no bittersweet about it. It was only sweet. It was just such a precious time of life to witness my son become a husband and the welcoming of a new daughter into our family. And it was fun and special. And, of course, it had its hiccups. There were things about the wedding day that didn't go as planned, and that's normal. That could be saved for another episode And fun enough.

Marijanel: 4:58

You know me, I've photographed over 150 weddings in my photography career and I thought I knew what to expect from a wedding, but there's nothing like being in the shoes of a parent or a guest. It's totally different than being a vendor and I should have known that. But you know I speak for a living and my speech was all over the place. I couldn't keep track of it. I lost the printout. I had the hotel printing me a new printout. I mean there were all kinds of funny glitches through the day And then a couple big ones that I had a process, just like letting go of what you thought would happen and embracing what did happen, and that's part of the process, the beautiful process of life.

Marijanel: 5:42

And so, here on the show, a great big congratulations to the couple that we call Jonnor. I love you guys. Your wedding day was beautiful and it was such an honor to be your mom. Through that day and going forward, i'm just so excited for the growth of our family. I also had a birthday three days after the wedding day, and so it's gonna be always a really busy early June for our family because my husband and my anniversary is also on my birthday.

Marijanel: 6:15

So this is one thing through the podcast that I don't know if I've ever clearly shared the story that, yes, i got married young and yes, i moved to Canada young, but I got married on my 17th birthday, and that is an episode that probably should have been back when the show was called Curiosity's Apprentice and I was telling my life stories in the most curious ways. I was a 17-year-old bride, married Steve 29 years ago. People thought it was puppy love, not puppy love. We're here today and going strong, and three days before our 29th anniversary, our son got married. So it was just this accumulation of joy and lots of sentimental reminiscing, and so, as you know, on my birthday I love to celebrate my body. It's something that I recorded an episode one year ago. It's called Loving My Birthday Suit and it's in the audio section of the podcast, so not on YouTube pre-YouTube days, and so if you go back into the audio versions on Apple, google, spotify and look for My Birthday Suit, it's a really beautiful episode that I can say that because I re-listen to it. I listen to my own voice when I need that dose of body love.

Marijanel: 7:32

Well, that episode was me giving a tribute to my body, likening my body to a canoe Funny, yeah, a funny analogy for your body, but I liken my body to a canoe because I said it's like the vessel that carries me through life, and me sitting in the canoe is like my spirit and soul and the canoe carries me through life and we have to work together as a team. The canoe can't steer itself. The spirit can't go anywhere without the canoe, and I had had a picture flashed before my mind of me mistreating my canoe, asking it to do things and, i guess, be in a condition that couldn't carry me through the rapids, and yet I was requesting it to go through the rapids of life with me and my canoe basically said, hey, lady, you've got to take care of me. And so listen back to that episode to get more about that metaphor. But I like to give an honor and tribute to my body around my birthday, and one of the things that I do is go for a workout.

Marijanel: 8:37

No matter how up or down my workouts are, no matter how sporadic, on my birthday I go for a workout. I used to go for a run, but then my ankle had given way and I wasn't running like I used to. So now it's a workout And I had family visiting, it was so busy and I still went for my birthday workout and I got on that elliptical and the whole time I was on that workout on my birthday I was thanking my body for being what it is, and we all know that our bodies aren't perfect and we're not always happy with the shape or the size or the weight, but the truth is it's our vessel, it's the only one we're gonna get. It's special, it's unique and it's doing a really good job. The bodies are so miraculous. And so on my birthday, i did even though I wasn't able to release the podcast that I wanted to or that I had prerecorded I did give a great big honor and blessing and a big thank you to my body for being mine and for being good to me.

Marijanel: 9:41

And actually last year I had some rough patches with my body. Me and my body went for a great big invasive test. I've talked about that in previous episodes because on that table before the test, you have to sign that little paper and say I understand that there could be risks. And that was the moment that I had washed over me I'm not done yet, i'm not ready yet. There's things I need to do. And my sense of not being ready to go had to do with things I wanted to accomplish. But it was more than that. It was a sense of calling and a sense of purpose, which is what spurred and started the start of 2023 Mary Janelle show rebrand, where I really dove in to what it means to have that sense of purpose and unlocking our potential. And so my body was actually key and the things that were going wrong in my health were actually a key to prompting a big push in the direction that I've known has been my call. And so all of that, to say that, in the honoring of my body, i do want to have some guests on up and coming where we're going to talk about just a little bit more self love and acceptance towards our bodies, because our bodies are part of giving us the confidence to go forward in our calling. We're not just body, we're not just spirit. It's hand in hand together, and so it's always a balance and a relationship. So I look forward to those episodes. Stay tuned.

Marijanel: 11:16

And I gotta tell you one more funny story while I'm on the topic of body love. Funny, not ha ha, maybe funny ha ha, i don't know, but it relates to the wedding here. I had a gown that I purchased as the mother of the groom. I had a very special day out in a nearby city with my daughter and few at the time she was my future daughter-in-law. Now she's my daughter-in-law And I went shopping with the girls specifically for the mother of the groom dress And I tried on a bunch of dresses in a bridal gown store that were for, i guess, just special occasions. Mothers of the bride, mothers of the groom, would shop here And I tried on a bunch and the girls helped me pick out this one particular gown. It was it's floor length, it fit my body, it had nice little gathers and tucks in all the right places. It zipped pretty snug, but I was feeling good about it. You all know that I have been working on my 2022, 15, the 15 pounds I gained in 2022, i was in 2022. I was working on that And so I was thinking, okay, well, the dress it's a little snug, but no problem, i'm working on getting a little more fit, it's gonna be fine And, like you know, i'll have room to breathe when I eat during the reception, and so I didn't worry about it too much.

Marijanel: 12:44

And when, about my merry way for the following six weeks, planning the. You know what my part was in planning the wedding and all the festivities of like. It was essentially a family reunion at the same time And I was just, you know, going about everything, still working, still juggling everything and not really thinking too much about my eating and workout plan. And one day, about a week prior to the wedding it was actually an evening I decided to go upstairs and try on the dress. I thought there's probably tags to snip off. I better make sure that you know I got, i have what I need to pack it.

Marijanel: 13:30

I had this little shawl thingy And so I went upstairs and I tried it on and I couldn't get it zipped. Well, first, it's hard to zip by yourself, so I did need assistance. I called for my husband. He came upstairs and we couldn't get it zipped. He was you know how, with that kind of it, strapless in the back, he's like pulling it together with one hand trying to zip with the other hand. It was. It was An awful feeling and I was just. I was just sinking knowing, okay, this gown that I spent a small fortune on does not fit me.

Marijanel: 14:07

And once we managed to squeeze the zipper up, it didn't look flattering at all. It looked like I was a middle-aged woman who had bought a gown two sizes too small and I was poofing out the top. So I, at that moment I had this what do I do? My, my feeling, my, my impulse was to panic a little and I just decided, no, this isn't worth panicking about. If anything, i'll have to drive, you know, clear some time out of the schedule, drive to the city again and get another gown that fits, but that's like worst-case scenario. So over the next couple days I had a little bit of the dress drama going on where I had to find someone a seamstress to last minute, come up with a creative way to alter this gown with me, and she did. She like lowered where the zipper went up to leave room for my back, and then we very tactfully put the shawl, like she kind of tacked the shawl and we tied it in the back so it almost looked like little butterfly sleeves and it was in the end very tasteful.

Marijanel: 15:17

But I have to say it was a choice for me in those moments to continue to bless and accept my body for having grown at a time that it shouldn't have, but also not to be mad at myself for not being more mindful of my weight and what was happening. And I had to go through a personal process of having a great attitude, opening my heart to exactly who I was right then and there, without criticism, without talking bad about myself, and just being able to laugh. I've talked in the past about how it's like we needed learn to take our problems, put them in a box, sit on it and laugh, and that was just one of those things where I had to make it funny and say, okay, i do not fit my gown and I look ridiculous. So then just accepting the process of that, and so that was a little bit of the backstory of what I was going through. In and midst the wedding, birthday, family and a dress crisis, and and I made it through and actually I did get compliments on it and I think that it fit pretty well I was a little uncomfortable. Towards the end of the night it was still a bit tight, but that is the saga of the mother of the groom gown. And now, moving right along, i want to also share that there has been so many changes and things happening. You know I let go of my studio and all kinds of things happening in amongst my business, and so what I'm really excited about is, now that the family is gone and the wedding is over, i'm able to refocus.

Marijanel: 17:04

I always find that it's hard at first to get yourself back into work and it's hard at first to get refocused when you kind of got distracted or, like you know, it's actually harder for me to start working again after time off. It's kind of one of the reasons I sometimes dread vacation. It's. It's weird that way. I get it. I get it, but I often think, oh, i don't want to go away and, you know, sit with my feet up on a beach because it's so hard afterwards, like almost double or triple the effort to get back refocused. But I am refocusing right now and I've noticed that I have some strategies to do it and I've kind of been taught myself over the years that it's very similar to the push plateau episode that I released, where I talked about knowing that we plateau And that it's not a negative thing and that when the push comes you first have to get the mindset. So two days before it was time for me to go back to work, i started to think about everything and put on the mindset of work and remind myself of goals and passions and what I want to see happen in my work and professional life, and I began to adopt the mindset before I actually had to put my body into the place of functioning and work, and that's very similar to what I have to do when I restart the gym or anything that requires a push mentality.

Marijanel: 18:35

So I have been recalibrated, refocusing in the area of work, and one of the things that I like to do is pick up a book or two that I have that are like my work inspiration books. So you all know that I love to read, i love to speed read, but I have these different categories. Some of them are for personal self-improvement, some of the books that I read are purely for art inspiration And some are things like books that I feel build tools into me as a business woman, as an entrepreneur. And I have had this one book that I've been picking away at. I haven't sped read it, it's one that I'm only on about, chapter six, and it's called "4000 Weeks Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Berkman, and it actually was recommended to me by another illustrator and artist who had read this and said that it really helped them to begin to prioritize and put priorities into blocks of time. But it's funny enough, when I picked up the book I thought it was going to be more strategy on time productivity, when in fact, the book is really kind of takes the box off of time. It was a surprise, i wasn't expecting it and I'd love to share more about that. But really it begins to sort of just talk about the how finite we are, how our use of time is so important, but that it's like really about digging out from the inside of you What is your priority.

Marijanel: 20:11

And there's a recommendation in this book that I wanted to put out as a challenge to all of my listeners. In the book it talks about listing 25 things that you want to do in your life And then, after you make that list so let's say, you pull out your journal You all know I love journaling You pull out your journal and have two blank pages open. On the first page, write the 25 things. Don't overthink it, just write down 25 things that you want to do in your lifetime. Then, on the next page, reorder that list and put the top five, the top priorities, five of them at you know on those first five lines and have them there to see what's important to you Now. Next, your inclination would be to focus on the top five. That makes sense And then maybe let the other 20 that were at more of the bottom of the list be things that you just, you know, peck away at through your life and just have like these little, you know, they're in your peripheral, they're things that you just sort of like try to get done if it works out.

Marijanel: 21:20

But the book has a completely different recommendation that surprised me. It said to make the list of 25 things. And you kind of have to make that list in order to prioritize it. You need a bank of 25 things to find out what your top five are And then you prioritize the top five. And then what surprised me is the book recommended To actually delete and cross off the other 20 and never think about them again.

Marijanel: 21:47

What for a multi creative, highly functioning, energetic person who loves to have my irons in the fire and my fingers in the pots and all the things. My foot in two places, my feet in different places at once. I really had a stop and think could I do that? Could I list 25 things I want to do in my lifetime, prioritize the top five and cross off the other 20 and never think about them again? That is a huge challenge when I wasn't prepared for or to think about. But this book got me thinking about that And, honestly, if I was to put into top five priority creative endeavors that I'm working on that I also feel are connected to my calling and my place of shine and I want to talk to you more about your place of shine If I was to really prioritize those top five this show, my upcoming mentorship programs and the power of illustrating through story, like my life as an artist definitely gonna be in that top five. What does that mean to me? What shape is it gonna take? I don't know, but I know it's important that I discover it. And so I am still on a really unique discovery.

Marijanel: 23:17

And when we discover these things, when we begin to discover our purpose and calling, what happens is that we have to figure out how to use our time to actually fulfill what we're called to do. And it's tricky because, especially now, the world is full of so many distractions and opportunities and every time I open my phone there's another course I could take or route I could. I could go down for anything, really anything in life. There's just so much opportunity these days. And you know one of the other.

Marijanel: 23:56

I'm gonna paraphrase for a second one of the other things that the book mentioned was this idea between reality and dreams, and I speak a lot on the Mary Janelle show about having your dreams and reaching your potential. But there's also a reality check. I think getting refocused into work after all this time off with family, wedding, birthday, friends, celebration getting refocused has also been a reality check for me. You just kind of wake up and you're like, oh, this is the reality And a reality check is so healthy for us. It's healthy And also we have to make sure that the reality check doesn't drag us down too far and that we still remain dreaming, hopeful and full of potential, that we're open to the possibilities. But there's a fine line balance there, and this book, in my paraphrase, says something along the lines that it's easier to live in our hopes and dreams because reality is just sometimes such a rude awakening that it's easier to avoid it and just live in our hopes and dreams.

Marijanel: 25:07

But we have to be willing to face the reality and part of facing reality is asking ourselves what we can really get done or do in the amount of time that we're given in our lifetime, which I guess 4,000 weeks is the average lifetime. I don't know, but it's a pretty cool. It's a pretty cool book to read for a little bit of time management insight, but also it takes the box off of time in ways that really gets your imagination going on how you want to use it. So I'm noticing here on the camera that my room is filling up with sunshine and getting bright and probably going to be a nightmare for editing. So I think it's time to wrap up this particular episode.

Marijanel: 25:51

I hope that you've enjoyed hearing a little bit about, first of all, the production problems that I've had and the festivities of wedding and birthday bit of body love, laugh with me about my dress not fitting And then a little bit of inspiration there about our use of time and what's really important to us. Go ahead and make that list. That's my challenge. You make that list of the top 25 things that you want to do in your life, prioritize the top five and maybe together, maybe together we can actually focus on the top five and forget about the other 20. I don't know. I don't know if I can actually do that. I'm just being honest, but I'm going to try. I'm going to really try to at least consider that as a way to choose what's important in my purpose, destiny and calling, and so in closing of today's Mary Janelle show, i want to remind you that I have a Marijanel. com.

Marijanel: 26:44

You can find all the links below. That's where you can find my blog. Also, podcast feeds You can find them there on the website all the happenings. There is going to be new mentorship programs coming down the pipe there. I have an email list, which I've just recently been terrible at making my emails, but I have an email list that you can hop onto and I plan to get better At doing that. And also @marijanel Instagram I'm and I have @marijanelart account .

Marijanel: 27:16

I'd love it if you audio listeners could leave me a review or some stars, because it helps audio shows be found. And then on YouTube you know what to do Hit that subscribe, the bell and the like, which is the thumbs up, and though that helps the videos be found as well. Thank you so much for being here along my journey. Until next time Marijanel the show. I hope that you always keep on in the full potential of you.