075. What if I told you that your self-worth is more important than your confidence? Join me in this eye-opening show which is in response to a conversation by Ed Mylett and Jamie Kern Lima, who's about to release her book called Worthy.
I share how vital it is to have a strong foundation of self-worth before building confidence and I also tell a personal story about the importance of a solid foundation when building a house – and how it relates to understanding our own worth and value.
Together, we explore the difference between confidence and self-worth, and how confidence can be externally based on achievements, roles, and reputation, while self-worth is an inner knowing and belonging.
I was so inspired by Jamie's life story challenging us to examine our own self-perceptions and recognize our inherent value.
Listen in as I tackle negative self-talk and bring the reminder that we are all equally worthy, simply because we exist.
Allow this episode to be the catalyst for unlocking your full potential and embracing your true worth.
00:00:00 The Critical Question 00:01:49 The difference between confidence and worth. 00:03:50 What Makes a Good Foundation 00:06:27 Worth is at the Core 00:09:36 The Difference Between Confidence and Self-Worth 00:13:02 Believing that you are Valuable 00:15:12 Taking a Closer Look 00:17:58 Celebrate Being Alive 00:20:16 The Power of Self-Worth 00:22:19 Cultivating Confidence and Self-Worth 00:25:49 Closing
075. What if I told you that your self-worth is more important than your confidence? Join me in this eye-opening show which is in response to a conversation by Ed Mylett and Jamie Kern Lima, who's about to release her book called Worthy.
I share how vital it is to have a strong foundation of self-worth before building confidence and I also tell a personal story about the importance of a solid foundation when building a house – and how it relates to understanding our own worth and value.
Together, we explore the difference between confidence and self-worth, and how confidence can be externally based on achievements, roles, and reputation, while self-worth is an inner knowing and belonging.
I was so inspired by Jamie's life story challenging us to examine our own self-perceptions and recognize our inherent value.
Listen in as I tackle negative self-talk and bring the reminder that we are all equally worthy, simply because we exist.
Allow this episode to be the catalyst for unlocking your full potential and embracing your true worth.
00:00:00 The Critical Question 00:01:49 The difference between confidence and worth. 00:03:50 What Makes a Good Foundation 00:06:27 Worth is at the Core 00:09:36 The Difference Between Confidence and Self-Worth 00:13:02 Believing that you are Valuable 00:15:12 Taking a Closer Look 00:17:58 Celebrate Being Alive 00:20:16 The Power of Self-Worth 00:22:19 Cultivating Confidence and Self-Worth 00:25:49 Closing
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself the critical question what do I allow to define my self worth? Today The Marijanel Show, we're gonna dive deep into the difference between confidence and worth, and today I wanna leave you with a sense of knowing your value. Let's get to it. Welcome to The Marijanel Show So glad you're here. Let's get started with today's episode.
Marijanel:
You all know that I love a good podcast that inspires me, motivates me, and that I generally devour these podcasts while I'm on the elliptical or the treadmill. So this past week I was on the elliptical doing my thing and up pops in my Apple podcast feed a new Ed Mylett show and I loved it And I need to talk to you about what I got out of the show. Today here on my podcast, Ed Mylett had a guest named Jamie Kern Lima on his show. Then the name of the show is called This Will Change Your Life. Okay, and this will change your life, but don't turn off my show yet to go listen to his. Stay here and listen here what I got out of this podcast, and then please go devour his podcast with me And I'd love to hear your thoughts. Jamie Kern Lima, Ed Mylett's guest, is just about to release a book called Worthy And she talks about coming to a place in her life of knowing her true value and worth as a person. Even though she's a billionaire, even though she's sold a big company and she's had all kinds of successes and titles and recognition and validation, she still had to peel back all the layers of that external success and come to a place of challenging and knowing and growing her own self worth. This was really impactful for me to listen to because there was an aha moment there where she actually reminded me that there's a big difference between confidence and worth.
Marijanel:
And I've been talking about confidence a lot here The Marijanel Show. If you hop back to the episodes that I had in the spring episodes 57, finding your it factor, when I was asking yourself what makes heads turn, what makes heads turn, what shifts the atmosphere in a room when someone confident walks in, it's not bravado, it's not insecurity, it's confidence. And then the following episode, episode 58, i talked about climbing to purpose and your call in confidence and fulfilling and doing our purpose with confidence is just so critical. We don't want people out there just doing what they're meant to be doing with, like all this crazy insecurity. We want to rise, to be people of confidence, and this helps us to explore that powerful connection between purpose and confidence and how they work. And then, of course, in the following episode I explore the connection between our skills and confidence and really growing our skills.
Marijanel:
But I feel like, as I brought this content in the heart of my message to the podcast this spring, it's like I started building a house without the foundation And I am here to basically set that house aside for a minute and say, listen, we gotta dig the foundation because you have value and worth and intrinsic sense of being, with or without any of those accomplishments, with or without even pursuing your dreams or goals, who you are in this moment. Just being and breathing, being made for such a time as this is of value. And that is something of internal worth, not external measures of success. And you know, i'm thinking back to the time I've shared it before where Steve and I had built our dream house okay, and it was a really unusual situation And I was in charge of subbing out all the trades. I had this beautiful bar chart for anyone who loves to organize. I figured out what a bar chart was and I love it. I just like to make bar charts now just for the fun of it. But I had this bar chart and I organized the whole build. It was the most, one of the most stressful things I've ever done in my life And I do not know if I ever want to do that again.
Marijanel:
But on day one when we dug the foundation, we went over budget and over time on the foundation, okay, and I was kind of freaking out because my mind was going to the end game. I'm thinking about my closets and mirrors and pretty fixtures and thinking how I afford all the finishing If I'm over budget, like I don't know really over budget, like 20, 30 grand over budget on day one of digging with the machines And I had to stop and remind myself of the importance of the foundation Because, you see, as you know, i mean we all just kind of know these things, but sometimes we have to have this reminder that the foundation is, yes, the unseen part of the structure. It's hidden underneath and it provides the stability and support. It provides the longevity and durability and it's the inner strength. It's really what everything else stems from.
Marijanel:
And I think about this time that we were also house shopping, keep using these house word pictures and analogies. But we were house shopping and there had been a house that had a great layout, all this potential, super fun to dream about what we could do with it. And when we really started asking questions, the foundation was compromised. It had been kind of built near some kind of riverbed stream and then there was like a crack and it had been disclosed. But we didn't really know about it. And all this long story. In the end we realized we would have a massive endeavor to repair the foundation. Well, some of us are in that today. Some of us are experiencing successes and outward achievements external things that are the house, so to speak, but the internal, the foundation, needs to be repaired, cared for, and sometimes it's been compromised.
Marijanel:
And that is what I'm referring to today as our worth. Our worth is the core of it. All All the rest stems out of it, and I not only see this as a foundation, like where the structure is built from, but I've also seen it through the week. This picture flash in my mind of like a core seed, and out of that seed comes all the rest that the plant or the fruit tree could become. But everything's enclosed in that seed which is, to me, our worth.
Marijanel:
So the big question today is what is actually defining your worth? And Miriam Webster has a great definition of worth, saying having a sense of having worth. And knowing your worth is having a sense of one's own value as a human being. That sounds so simple that every human being has a worth by just being here, by breathing, being alive and being matter. And we've talked about in the past how it's easy to feel like we're not enough, how it's easy to feel like we don't have a place to shine, we don't know when our time to shine, and we're all looking for our place in this world really. And that also can be stripped down to knowing our worth and that every single one of us has a valuable, intrinsic part to play in the grand picture, in the whole entire beautiful, broad way of life, right?
Marijanel:
And so this foundation that I'm speaking of today is me challenging you to take a look at your worth. And maybe some of you right away are Marijanel , i already know that my worth is shaky. It's a foundation with a crack in it. It has been forever and either maybe there's been a hurt or a trauma or someone has devalued your worth to the point that you believe it may be, as it has been in my case. Many times in my life I've been the one to devalue my worth. It actually I've been surrounded by a loving, supportive family, and sometimes it's been me that has been the one to sabotage me, and that is something. As you know, i've taken a lot of my personal work to the journal, pen to paper, and really worked out my feelings and thought processes through the journal, which is why I'm passionate about leading you all in journal exercises, giving you prompts, and it's definitely not something to replace therapy or counseling, but it is a place to really work out our own heart. And so let me just touch for a moment on this foundation of your worth. Okay, cultivating your self worth does require inner work. We might go over time, over budget, looking at this foundation, like I did in the beginning of building this house. You know that I shared the story of where it requires the inner work, and it also requires a real shift in perspective.
Marijanel:
Okay, so, coming back to Ed Myletts's show and Jamie Kern Lima sharing about finding her worthiness, reminding me that confidence and worth are totally different. Okay, they're totally different things. So let's just take a second before I share more on the foundation of your worth. And what is this like, difference between confidence and self worth? because they do go hand in hand, like they're very much like music singing harmony together. They're very much always found in the same place, like people who know their worth are generally confident, and but I don't always find it to be vice versa. I find that sometimes there's really confident people who don't always know their self worth, and this is why it's because confidence is that outside structure, it's the house, it's what everyone sees on the external.
Marijanel:
Okay, and if you think about all external things, external matters, it is our achievements, our roles, our reputation, the things that are tangible, our money, our houses, our vehicles and just like everything that's material can, can build our confidence. And you know I don't play sports, but I love to use a sport metaVors here and there. And if you think about a really confident let's, let's say baseball, really confident baseball teams that are on a winning streak, because they're on a winning streak, they're going to show up and play more confidently because they've been winning and they feel great about it and nothing's really challenging their mojo. They're winning And so they're. Yeah, that confidence is linked to how we're feeling and it's external. Then let's say they begin a losing streak. Well, it can be exactly the same where they show up needing a boost of confidence because they're feeling down from losing.
Marijanel:
These are all external feelings that are impacted by our outside, external circumstances and environments. But what's internal, the worth, the, the knowing for that baseball team that they're going to show up and play because they're worth it, they belong in the big leagues, that they're meant for the big leagues, that they've been practicing, and that that they know that it's their time and that this belongs to them because they're worth it. That is an inner knowing and inner belonging and knowing that we're enough to be here. And I gotta say you're enough to be here simply because you are. You are. There isn't anything to add or subtract to that. There isn't anything for me to say you're enough to be here simply because you are intelligent. No, you're enough to be here simply because you are wealthy. No, that you're enough to be here simply because you are a fill in the blank. Whatever it is that you've been defining your self-worth. You could fill in that blank, but none of that matters. It stops at R period A-R-E R. You are worth because you are. You're worth it because you are period.
Marijanel:
That's my big epiphany of the week that I'm bringing here, and it's deep. It's deep If you're just listening or tuning in The Marijanel show for the first time and you don't know what I'm all about. I am a mindset mentor who's focused on what I'm focused on unlocking your full potential. I am just in the midst of starting my mentorship programs that are going to be available online. My podcast has been going for quite a while now. But if everything stopped today, if this was the end, if the Mary Janelle show was over, if my programs never took off, if I could say anything, that means something from the bottom of my heart. It's that I'm here because I believe in you and that you're worth it because you are period. Everything else that comes out of whatever fruit this tree bears, whatever structure this build becomes, is going to be built on that. That I believe in you because you are Coming back to this idea that confidence is of all external things or built on all external things, but worth is built intrinsically.
Marijanel:
It is really important that we begin to challenge our belief system in our worth, no matter what your outside structure looks like. In success, perhaps you've built yourself a glorious skyscraper of success. But if your foundation is eroding, if there's something leaking and rotting and causing black mold and ick in there, this morning, when I was making my breakfast, i smelled something and I thought, yep, i think I have a rotting onion in the pantry And there's nothing. Like my nose, which you all know is the nose of a hound, i can smell anything from a block away, but I could smell something in the pantry. And so after this podcast, i'll be going into the kitchen and looking for whatever it is that I've been smelling. And you can have something rotting in the foundation, even though you're presenting to the world a glorious skyscraper.
Marijanel:
And I want to challenge you to take a look and don't be afraid to look into the inner self worth work of building your worth, of repairing that foundation, of where it all starts. There's a couple of ways to do this. You know I love the journaling aspect and, yes, i can put on my blog some really great, great questions and some really insightful things that will help you and prompt you pen to paper. But here's a few that I can mention in the podcast.
Marijanel:
First, beginning to first challenge your negative self talk. Just stop the negative self talk right away, because that erodes your worth, because your worth is there. So here's another aha, your worth is there, whether or not you believe in it, your worth, it your worth, your worthy. So every single human being, we all have this, this same level field of worth, because we are. And if you don't believe it and you tear yourself down with your, your self talk and your self mindset, that actually it affects how you feel about your worth and it affects what you believe about your worth, but it doesn't actually change your worth. You're enough. You're enough because you are, and If you don't think it, that's one thing, but it doesn't change the fact that you are worthy and enough. And so just move aside, stop, say no to negative self-talk, begin to recognize your sense of being.
Marijanel:
I want you to really begin to think about your sense of just being, not doing. We got to take our eyes off all the do and focus on the who, who you are in your being and recognize your sense of being, not accomplishments. So, yes, we all have work to do and goals to meet and things we're pursuing in our life, and that's all going to wrap us up in the accomplishment and this confidence building. But we have to do some inner work every day to take a look at that foundation and recognize our sense of being and the sense of being of the others around you. In case you are that person who's projecting all kinds of expectation and demands on other people, perhaps you're feeling to see their intrinsic worth, in their sense of being enough, that they're worth it because they are, and coming back into that right relationship of respecting one another because they are and I see so much on social media that makes me sad about how we disrespect one another because there is that sense of like, belonging, because we are, and we have to come back to that because it's like the basis, foundation of love.
Marijanel:
And the other thing you can begin to do right now, to do the self work, is celebrating your life, just being alive. Celebrate who you are, even if sometimes you don't like who you are, that's okay. We learn to love who we are and we learn to like ourselves through making the changes and beginning even in celebrating. I'm alive, i'm here, i'm special and unique and I'm speaking to you. This is about you and your worth and value. You are special and unique. No one else can do you. You is already taken and you don't need to compare to other people. You don't need to measure yourself as enough against what someone else's definition of enough is. You are enough and you're worth it because you are Period And seeing your internal worth, not your external worth.
Marijanel:
So, taking your eyes off everything on the outside, stripping yourself down for a minute from all those titles and achievements and labels and you know whatever it is bio that you're typing about yourself on your website or whatever it is that your you know company has just given you a promotion and called you and fill in the blank, all of those things are external. They're external confidence builders. Let's go back to putting our eyes on seeing the internal worth of who we are by simply being. There's a lot to celebrate there. There's a lot of beauty and imagination, innovation and just who you are intrinsically, without all the other, without everything on the outside that circumstances and environments can affect you. Just you, right now, who you are, is worthy. You're worthy.
Marijanel:
When we truly begin our worth, we begin to radiate a new sense of confidence. So the worth being the foundation of it all, and then we build up from there and our confidence is not grasping for security. It's not shaky, it's not, you know, short lived. It's firm and strong and radiates a confidence that comes from the within worthiness. The within worthiness begins to shine and it's unaffected by the circumstances. So, as I mentioned about the like the baseball game being affected by the circumstances, winning streak or losing streak and how they feel. Well, when your confidence is built out of your sense of self worth, it can't be affected by all of that because it's grounded and rooted firmly as a foundation.
Marijanel:
And I also want to say that one of the things I deeply appreciated about the Ed Mylett podcast that I was listening to, which I just want to mention again, was called This Will Change Your Life and big announcement with Jamie Kern Lima when you're ready to hop back and listen to that. But one of the things that profoundly impacted me but I appreciated is that both of them came about three quarters of the way through the show. They came to a place of talking about faith because for me personally, my worthiness is very much connected to and rooted in my faith, which is very similar to Jamie's experience that she shares there and her perspective on faith, and it blessed my heart that they brought that piece forward, because I can personally talk to you till I'm blue in the face and that would be weird if I was blue in the face about worthiness. But my worthiness has always found its way back into love and being unconditionally loved and knowing that I was created, designed and thought of to be here and loved because I was made. And so that is part of my personal faith and I know it's not everyone's experience, but I would nudge you to have a look at really even taking it that one excavator shovel deeper, that one digging up of what is my worth rooted in, and then, when we truly believe, that worth and all that confidence can just spring from that. So let's just say in my example here, my worth is rooted in unconditional love and all of the rest of that can flourish. It is not going to wash away in the next windstorm, it is not going to blow over by the crazy winds and hurricanes of life.
Marijanel:
Remember that self-confidence is going to vary in our journey. And when you go back and you listen to episodes 57 and 59, where I talk and build up all kinds of very good principles, really important principles about self-confidence, those are going to vary. They're going to change from person to person, place to place, environment to environment, changing seasons in our life. I've had confidence shaking changes where I was confident one moment and everything changes and I'm back to square one. Well, all of that is external and they. We vary from time to time in confidence, but self-worth remains a constant, constant foundation And in that we can be rooted in deep love, respect and joy And we can cultivate that sense of self-worth, unlocking our full potential, living authentic lives together. And in closing, i want to come back circle round to where I spoke for a moment on the foundation of your worth and cultivating that self-worth through personal work. Here's another nudge for you Personal work in the area of self-worth also has a do with setting healthy boundaries. Ditching the negative talk, as I mentioned, but setting healthy boundaries and surrounding yourself with positive influences, which could be podcasts just like this.
Marijanel:
Thank you for tuning Marijanel the show. Please see all the links below for my previous episodes on confidence and also Ed Mylett and Jamie Kern Lima show that I highly recommend. I hope that you have learned a little bit about the value of you, the worthiness of you, that you are, you, because you are, that you're worth it, because you are that you would cling to that this week and take a look, as scary as it seems, into the foundation that you're building all your other confident successes upon. Thanks for joining into the show. Find my links below here on YouTube. Do all those things that you got to do. Hit the like the bell, the subscribe all that stuff, share it. I'd love it if you share this with a friend And over on the audio apps, i'd love it if you leave stars review. It helps podcasts like this Get known and seen in our feeds. Thanks so much And until next time, keep on in the full potential of you. You are worth it because you are.
