JanYouary: Allow Me To Reintroduce That Girl

Chaos and comfort found a unique dance in the homes that raised me. Each house whispered a lesson, and through my tales of 11 childhood homes, I invite you to find solace in the symphony of life's imperfections. My story isn't just about the addresses that marked the chapters of a young girl's life; it’s a celebration of resilience, a testament to the power of transformation, and a thank-you note to the chaos that taught me to create harmony in the discord.

As we journey through the rooms of my past—from Burkart, where a tumble down the stairs met with my first taste of growing pains, to Pleasant Ridge, where my voice found its melody—I share with you the choreography of turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Together, we'll laugh, maybe shed a tear, and certainly cheer each other on as we embrace the disarray that shapes us. No expert guests, just us and my story, raw and unfiltered, encouraging you to dance through your own mess and find the beauty in the mayhem. Let's raise a glass to the homes that built us and the messes that made us.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:09

Hey, guys, and welcome back to that girl radio. It is your lovely host here, ricky Lee, also known as that girl. And for today's episode, guys, I feel an overwhelming urge to reintroduce myself. First of all, I just want to say thank you to every single last person who has downloaded an episode of January. I mean, it means so much to me. Just seeing that we've had 20,000 downloads in 25 days. That is insane. So to all of you I want to say thank you. I see you, I love you and I am cheering you on every single day, even outside of January, that you are in the pursuit of progress and bettering yourself. And without further ado, please allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Ricky Lee, santana Joyner and I'm also, all together, the perfect mess, a woman of progress who has never allowed my shortcomings or short stature limit the heights I might reach someday.

Speaker 1: 1:16

I grew up hard but somehow find myself fighting every day to be soft. My dad was some timey, my mom was a seasonal depressant, and you can only imagine the chaos that this spread. I lived in 11 houses by the time I turned 18. I had redecorated more rooms than an apprentice interior designer by the time I could drive. This all made me so numb to the idea of change. I learned to love it, even though deep down I really disliked it. Chaos became my comfort. Approaching the unknown with a plan became my superpower, because I'd done it more times than I cared to count. Some houses were perfect and took little to no decorating, and others were falling away at the hinges and required a lot of love. But from the ruins of these houses we built homes every single time, room by frame, furniture set by furniture set. I learned to perfect the mess all around me. But before there was ever that girl, there was that woman, my mother, lona Marie, my inspiration, my daily muse and my best friend. No house was ever referred to as home, Each described as the street or neighborhood it was in.

Speaker 1: 2:49

Burkart is where I broke my nose after falling down the stairs suddenly, because I was so excited that I got a pack of gum from my favorite aunt. Graceland is where I have people watched. I observed the lives of my aunts and cousins living with us, making note daily of the choices I vowed not to make so I couldn't repeat their mistakes. Graceland is where I promised myself that I would be the one to set us all free. Bramble is why I first came to terms with my crippling anxiety. We lived in a neighborhood where mail was filled with sex offender notices and break-ins were frequent. And Silverton is where my gifts came to fruition. I spent many nights making up dance routines and singing along to my favorite songs in hopes of submitting to Disney's annual talent competition. If you know, you know the Bridge Acres is where I was broken.

Speaker 1: 3:50

My body developed more rapidly than my mind and my baby fat began to significantly hide my frame. But there is where I started to plant small seeds. I remember creating my first morning and night routines. Having to make sure to bathe my little cousin and tuck her in at night gave me a sense of duty and structure. I then started getting up earlier so I could get ready slower. I'd shower, listen to music and lotion my entire body before school, where Jakers is where I learned to do self-care and self-serve. Williamsburg is where I was set free. I went natural there. I lost weight there. I started my YouTube channel there and rewrote my entire story there. I stopped just being Ricky and became Ricky Lee. I healed myself image by first faking it until I truly began to believe I was enough.

Speaker 1: 4:54

Pleasant Ridge is where I found my voice. I sang for the first time in front of my family by the banister of our duplex on Ridge Acres. But this time it was different. It wasn't just family that heard my voice, it was strangers too, across the internet and even in a church pattern, for some reason. In that two-family house is where I grew my confidence. I would film off-it-of-the-day videos in the backyard, even though I knew my downstairs neighbors could be watching. I curated a personal style that made me feel good and I didn't have what the other girls did, but that's what made my looks all the more special.

Speaker 1: 5:33

Prince Frederick is where I found solitude. I've removed so many of the people I thought were forever characters in this life, but he established that all I needed was him. I was stripped of everything I once knew and forced to expand. There I established the Ricky Lee Agency, an outlet of every form of my creative expressions to bring more of myself to life. And today home is where my heart is.

Speaker 1: 6:03

Then, at the house my parents built in my last year of high school and by my parents I mean my mother, lona Marie, and my wonderful stepdad there, I became that girl. I spent 30 of the 60 days it would take to build her behind those very walls, walls filled with love and light and laughter. It was a culmination of every lived experience there, victories and failures that helped me to continue showing up for myself. It was never easy inhabiting so many different places, but that's what makes me all together the perfect mess, because after all, this lifetime is just borrowed. My true home will be heaven, and because of that, that is my only limit.

Speaker 1: 6:48

So, to all of you that are listening, I encourage you to know that you are a woman of progress. In daily you are in pursuit of better, pursuit of light and pursuit of love, and for that reason you have to give yourself grace and embrace the fact that you too are all together the perfect mess. I love y'all so much and I hope you love me too, and I hope that gave you a little bit of an insight into who I am as a woman and as a growing girl and as that girl. And if you're not already subscribed to the podcast, please do so, because I want to have more wonderful, fruitful conversations like this. And if you guys enjoyed this type of style for the podcast of me doing a writing previously and just reading it off. Please let me know. I would love to hear feedback because this was really fun and I can't wait to hear from you guys next time.