#16: Frog Zaps Vs Zappy Glory

As the Queen's new Royal Sorceress, Teloopa punishes criminals with her famous frog transformations until her predecessor confronts her with warnings. Meanwhile, Nazzy is lost in a distant future of tiny islands, noisy geese, and incorporeal humans.

Written and Produced by Jennifer Lott

Voice Actors
Tegan Lott as Teloopa
Jamie Oates as Mijar
Lynda Williams as Queen Augusta
Jennifer Lott as Yemilina
Shannon Rea as Nazzy
Nicole Stoner as Enelcia
JP Lott as Sir JP
Tory Lott as Toddler Giant
Jennifer Lott as King David

Transcript

SOUND: Opening theme music

INT  -        QUEEN’S SUMMER HOME

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

TELOOPA

I have the latest list of criminals awaiting your judgement, Your Majesty.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Read it to me. My eyes bother me in this tiny summer house.

TELOOPA

I wonder how people read in the five hundred cottages that would fit inside this tiny home.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Without your cheek, Sorcerous. Carry on.

TELOOPA

I’ll sum it up.

SOUND: Scroll unfurling

TELOOPA

Today we have the historian who sold her children to goblins without the proper paperwork; the baker who stocked his kitchen with phoenix eggs and painted them brown to hide it; the stained-glass artist who littered Nazzy’s vacated home with shards of broken glass; the serf who fed cursed apples to a team of oxen in the middle of plowing, causing them to smash that plow into kindling; and the healer who patched up torn mermaid scales with the rotten scales of dead dragons. It’s his tenth case of malpractice, which is the number Your Majesty set for classifying his work as criminal.

SOUND: Rustling dress

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Pardon the stained-glass artist. Turn the rest into frogs.

TELOOPA

Okay, I’m off to pardon the baker. Excellent choice. Four more frogs for you! Good day, Your Majesty.

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Wait a moment! I said to pardon the stained-glass artist.

TELOOPA

What did I say?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

The baker.

TELOOPA

Just as you say, Your Majesty. Spare the baker. Frog the rest. I’d better get to it.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

You think your speedy tongue will run right past me and I won’t notice. I command you to pardon only the artist. Not the baker.

TELOOPA

I really like Cameron’s cakes. Frogs are lousy bakers.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Cameron, is it? Well, I don’t care for him. I prefer feasts for the eyes. That lovely artist — what was the name?

TELOOPA

Pisanna. Have you actually seen her windows?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Pisanna’s windows? Of course I have. They’re essential to Wilzerlott’s morale, and you will pardon her.

TELOOPA

I bet you’ve never seen a single pane of glass she’s made.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

I most certainly have!

TELOOPA

Are you sure you don’t want to check how thoroughly she vandalized Nazzy’s house? Maybe it was a half-ass mess and she should have thrown more glass.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

It’s about her art!

TELOOPA

Sure, it is.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

I am Queen. You will accept what I want and proceed accordingly.

TELOOPA

Please, Your Majesty, Sir JP rescued Cameron from getting his hands nibbled off by one peckish dragon, even as a whole band of singing bards was being devoured by dragons just one wheatfield over. That’s how good these cakes are. Even the grumpiest man in your kingdom loves them. Haven’t you seen his almost smile when he’s almost happy like that?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Yes. After he’s been kissing my daughter for a while.

TELOOPA

Yeah, but these cakes are a purer joy. Getting the princess quiet enough for kissing must be hard work for him.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

How dare you talk about my daughter that way! You can be replaced.

TELOOPA

Can I, though?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Yes!

TELOOPA

(heavy sigh)

Oh, well. This was fun while it lasted.

SOUND: Retreating footsteps

QUEEN AUGUSTA

I’m not replacing you yet. Come back here!

TELOOPA

I told you I don’t like employment, Your Majesty. You’re making it feel that way, so…

QUEEN AUGUSTA

I meant to say I shan’t feel the need to bribe you any longer if you don’t—

TELOOPA

I do like gold. Buys good cakes. Of course, if my favourite baker is a frog…

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(impatient)

Pisanna and Cameron, then. Pardon them both.

TELOOPA

Three newfrogs for you, coming right up.

SOUND: Retreating footsteps

SOUND: Door opening

SOUND: Dress rustling

SOUND: Feet shuffling

TELOOPA

Princess?

SOUND: Door closing

YEMILINA

Oh, Teloopa! You startled me. Forget I’m here.

TELOOPA

Coming to visit your mother in her summer home?

YEMILINA

Heavens, no! I’ve disowned her forever. I shall never call her the M word ever again. I shall never go near her toxic aura, or listen to one sound from her toxic—

SOUND: Vivicord

TELOOPA

Were you just recording her? And me?

YEMILINA

Well, yes, but just because the cave people need to know the truth about her. It’s important for the documentary.

TELOOPA

Our only time traveller is still lost. How will you get new recordings to future humans?

YEMILINA

They’ll get it whenever Nazzy returns. She can pop each episode over to its correct release date then.

TELOOPA

Unless she got herself killed on her last trip.

YEMILINA

(shocked gasp)

TELOOPA

It’s logical. She had an extinction bomb in her hands when she left.

YEMILINA

She’s going to solve that with some brilliant time-travel maneuver and come straight back to us.

TELOOPA

Why would it work out that way?

YEMILINA

Because she’s my friend.

TELOOPA

That’s not how friendship works. It’s cursing your husband to be a ghost that makes you invincible, remember? Your mother taught you that.

YEMILINA

She’s not my mother and Nazzy will come back!

TELOOPA

Arrh, go find some sap bugs to play with. I’ve got lives to ruin.

SOUND: Overlapping footsteps

YEMILINA

How many poor souls will become frogs today?

TELOOPA

Three. How about you come tell them that they’re all your friends and that’s why they’ll be okay? See how that works out.

YEMILINA

The Queen has corrupted your soul. You used to care more about Wilzerlott.

TELOOPA

I do care! I’m pardoning Cameron the baker.

YEMILINA

Oh, thank goodness. I can’t stand Sir JP when those cakes sell out. He’d be a nightmare if they were gone for good.

TELOOPA

You’re welcome.

SOUND: Vivicord

YEMILINA

Take the vivicord with you, won’t you?

TELOOPA

You take it.

YEMILINA

No, I can’t. I’m meeting Sir JP. He won’t like it.

TELOOPA

I have to babysit a vivicord, because Sir JP doesn’t want his love life recorded?

YEMILINA

You were once willing to feign guilt over a deadly curse just to be remembered. If you stick close to the vivicord, you could be remembered a million years from now, in the minds of cave people yet to be born.

TELOOPA

That would enrich their minds. All right, I’ll do it.

SOUND: Vivicord

TELOOPA

Come here, Stick Chewer. We’re teleporting.

SOUND: Teleportation spell

EXT. ORCHARDS

SOUND: Orchard ambiance

SOUND: Footsteps in grass

SOUND: Cursed apple tree ambiance

SOUND: Picking apples

TELOOPA

Ah-hah! A cursed apple tree. I knew you really hadn’t done magic.

SOUND: Man gasping

SOUND: Apples falling

TELOOPA

Don’t bruise fruit on my account. I’m just here to give you a new body. You gotta jump all the time. It’ll be fun.

SOUND: Man screaming

SOUND: Running on grass

TELOOPA

Teleporting is kind of draining. So is running. How about you just stay still, so I don’t get cranky?

SOUND: Man screaming

SOUND: Running on grass

TELOOPA

One last chance to do this the potion way.

SOUND: Bottles clinking

SOUND: Bottle uncorked

TELOOPA

Come here. Drink up.

SOUND: Man screaming

SOUND: Running on grass

TELOOPA

Fine. Be that way.

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Transformation spell

SOUND: Brief scream of pain

SOUND: Frog croaks

TELOOPA

One down. Two to go.

SOUND: Teleportation spell

INT. HISTORIAN’S COTTAGE

SOUND: Forest ambiance

SOUND: Footsteps on forest floor

SOUND: Cottage door opening

SOUND: Footsteps on wooden floor

TELOOPA

Hey there, childless history nerd.

SOUND: Woman screaming

SOUND: Books falling

TELOOPA

Enjoying the peace and quiet?

SOUND: Chair crash

SOUND: Woman screaming

SOUND: Running on floor

TELOOPA

Look, you can’t just sell your children without a formal agreement. It’s in case some child sympathizer accuses the goblins of kidnapping. I don’t make the rules.

SOUND: Woman screaming

TELOOPA

Yeah, okay. The hard way.

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Transformation spell

SOUND: Brief scream of pain

SOUND: Frog croaks

SOUND: Teleportation spell

EXT. MERMAID LAKE IN ELVIN GROVE

SOUND: Forest ambiance

SOUND: Lake ambiance

SOUND: Footsteps                                                              

SOUND: Muttering mermaid

SOUND: Tail slaps

SOUND: Man gasping

SOUND: Man running on grass

TELOOPA

We’re not even going to chat. You deserve this.

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Transformation spell

SOUND: Grunts of pain

SOUND: Frog croaks

SOUND: Footsteps in foliage

SOUND: Leaves rustle

ENELCIA

Teloopa! Where’s the scummy leech of a healer? Is he still harassing our exchange students in the mermaid lake? He was here just a minute ago.

TELOOPA

He’s still here.

SOUND: Frog croak

ENELCIA

Finally did the ten things wrong, did he? I was considering letting him ‘cure my shortness,’ in case the poor ocean mermaids were only his ninth mistake.

TELOOPA

Noble of you to risk your health like that.

ENELCIA 

Well, I wasn’t always noble. Now that I’m a mother, I simply must set a good example.

SOUND: Little frog croaks

SOUND: Frog on tether

TELOOPA

You know, I should probably change your infant daughter back into herself. With the Queen’s new decree, being a frog makes her look like a criminal now.

SOUND: Clinking bottles

SOUND: Bottle uncorked

ENELCIA 

Oh, no. No need. It’s not hurting her self-esteem. I tell her everyday that she’s my flawless angel.

TELOOPA

If you’re still worried about dragon attacks, I can whip up some camouflage potions for her.

ENELCIA

She likes being a frog. Back off.

TELOOPA

It’s still about the diapers, isn’t it?

ENELCIA 

No!

TELOOPA

It’s me. I’m not judging.

ENELCIA 

Yes, it’s about the diapers! Once she figures out the lilypad I want her to poop on, her transition to a potty-trained elf toddler will be seamless.

TELOOPA

Don’t see why not.

SOUND: Track-Magic spell

ENELCIA 

What was that sound?

TELOOPA

Someone’s tracking my most recent spells. That can’t be good. I’m tracking back.

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Track-Magic spell

SOUND: Trees rustling

SOUND: Cape flapping

TELOOPA

I see you! Come out and face me!

MIJAR

(evil laugh)

SOUND: Frog croaks

SOUND: Vanishing spell

TELOOPA

(gasp)

He took my new frog!

ENELCIA

Why? Where?

TELOOPA

I’m going to find out. Wanna come?

ENELCIA

Sure.

SOUND: Teleportation spell

EXT. SIR JP COTTAGE

SOUND: Forest ambiance

SOUND: Distant marketplace ambiance

SOUND: Croaking frogs

TELOOPA

Sir JP’s cottage? Why would anyone bring my frogs here?

ENELCIA

Are these your most recent frogs?

TELOOPA

Yes, all three of them. I’m sorry, guys. This wasn’t part of the plan.

SOUND: Croaking Frogs

SOUND: Transformation spell

ENELCIA and TELOOPA

(surprised noises)

SOUND: Growling wolves

ENELCIA

Someone just turned your frogs into wolves.

TELOOPA

Duh. I see that.

ENELCIA

I’m saying it for the cave people.

TELOOPA

Oh, right. Three wolves, fair listeners. They’re not acting friendly.

SOUND: Growling wolves

ENELCIA

(yelp)

SOUND: Growling wolves

TELOOPA

You’re not mad at me, are you? It was nothing personal.

SOUND: Snapping wolves

TELOOPA

Okay, maybe some resentment. Okay. I’ll just, uh—

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Magic fizzle

SOUND: Growling wolves

TELOOPA

Crap, they’re shielded from magic. Only brute strength will work.

SOUND: Footsteps on grass

SOUND: Hammering knock on door

ENELCIA

Sir JP, we need you out here!

SOUND: Footsteps on wooden floor

SOUND: Creaking bed

SOUND: Clanking armor

YEMILINA

He can’t slay dragons right now! I was a bit too, umm…uh…I mean he hurt his back.

SIR JP

(groan)

SOUND: Clanking armor

TELOOPA

They’re not dragons!

SOUND: Footsteps on wooden floor

SOUND: Door opening

SOUND: Wolves growling

YEMILINA

Oh. Well, perhaps he’s up to those.

SOUND: Footsteps on wooden floor

YEMILINA

My Love? There’s a little problem out here. Would you mind very much…?

SOUND: Clanking armor

SOUND: Creaking floor

SIR JP

I’m too sore for dragons. They’ll have to hide.

YEMILINA

Smaller problems, My Love. Manageable wolf-sized beasts.

SOUND: Footsteps

SOUND: Clanking armor

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Magic fizzle

TELOOPA

I can’t change them back into frogs. I’m locked out.

SIR JP

They were frogs before?

TELOOPA

Yes.

SOUND: Sword unsheathed

SOUND: Wolves growling

SOUND: Sword swipes

ENELCIA

Not originally! People first, then frogs. Originally people, okay?

TELOOPA

He didn’t ask about originally.

SIR JP

(groan)

SOUND: Sheathed sword

SOUND: Clanking armor

SOUND: Footsteps on grass

SOUND: Opening door

SOUND: Footsteps on floor

SOUND: Chains dragging

SOUND: Footsteps on dirt

SOUND: Wolves growling

SOUND: Chains swinging

SOUND: Chains pulling

ENELCIA

Excellent catch, Sir JP. Hope your back’s okay.

SOUND: Chains tightening

SOUND: Wolves whining

YEMILINA

Oh, you’ve got them!

SOUND: Kiss

YEMILINA

Those chains should hold them for a while.

ENELCIA

I can ask some big friends to build a cage for the long term.

SOUND: Cape flapping

MIJAR

(evil laugh)

No cage will last.

ENELCIA

I know that voice. I’ve heard it shouting at the Queen.

SOUND: Footsteps on grass

TELOOPA

Hey you! Yeah, you in the cape! Those were my frogs! I transformed them first! If you need wolves, at least have the decency to find your own targets. Who do you think you are?

MIJAR

(dramatic)

I am Mijar!

TELOOPA

The Queen’s old Royal Sorcerer?

MIJAR

I am younger than I look. The strain of all I have suffered is forever etched in my—

TELOOPA

I meant old as in ‘ex.’ I mean because I’m her Royal Sorceress now.

MIJAR

(laughing)

You? You are itty bitty! A youngling.

TELOOPA

I’m older than I look.

MIJAR

And your powers? Are they much bigger than you, Little Witch?

TELOOPA

A lot bigger. I suppose you haven’t heard whose potion turned the dragons’ appetites on the EEK, instead of us?

MIJAR

I heard that while the EEK population was being gobbled down to almost nothing, the citizens of Wilzerlott were lulled into a false sense of security and stopped guarding against dragon attacks. The death count was higher than usual the day the dragons ran out of EEK to eat.

TELOOPA

How is it my fault that the EEK are so small?

MIJAR

You should use your potion on the giants. It would take the dragons decades to finish eating them.

ENELCIA

Hey!

MIJAR

The elves will give you trouble. Turn that one into a frog before you prepare any gigantic treats for dragons.

TELOOPA

You would match your daughter that way, Enelcia.

ENELCIA

Don’t listen to him! You can’t put that potion on—

TELOOPA

Giants are good, I get it. I’m not a total monster.

MIJAR

You have admitted to your weakness. To work for the Queen is to be a weaker monster than she. It is only when you break away that you can grow stronger.

TELOOPA

Is that what your wolves are about? Big, tough wolves are stronger than frogs?

MIJAR

They do have sharper teeth.

TELOOPA

But it’s supposed to be a punishment, so you got it wrong. You’d outdo me if you turned them into slugs.

MIJAR

Poor Little Witch. ‘Supposed to’ is not a phrase that has burdened you very long. I don’t think so. I’ve heard tales of you, daughter of Nolla. What did it take to tether your spirit? A pinch of flattery and riches?

TELOOPA

I’m fine. I’m not employed like you were.

MIJAR

You turn citizens into frogs at the Queen’s command, do you not?

TELOOPA

Sometimes. When I feel like it.

MIJAR

You are falling into the trap I escaped. The Queen will mold you into a tool of everyday use and your glory will die in the dust of the castle’s windowsills.

TELOOPA

There is no castle. I blew it up.

MIJAR

Intriguing!

TELOOPA

Accidentally.

MIJAR

Disappointing. My point still stands. Your glory will die in the dust of the Queen’s summer home.

TELOOPA

You rain-charmed her gardens. At least I’m not offering her talents that can be replicated by clouds or a watering can.

MIJAR

I escaped, I said! The Queen’s power is an illusion. Only magical beings, such as ourselves, have true power. We must stop feeding the illusion of hers.

TELOOPA

She is invincible, though. Most of us don’t want to hear her whine for all eternity. She only needs a few formalities to keep her happy.

MIJAR

Hmm…your devotion to the Queen’s happiness—

TELOOPA

Watch who you’re calling devoted!

MIJAR

—forces me to add you to my growing list of misguided enemies. I’m going to be very selective about who remains in Wilzerlott to help me rebuild.

TELOOPA

Huh?

SOUND: Magic attack

SOUND: Dodging body

TELOOPA

Oh, it’s going to be like that, is it?

SOUND: Magic counter-attack

TELOOPA

Enelcia, get down!

ENELCIA

Ahhh!

SOUND: Body fall into bush

SOUND: Shuffling feet

SOUND: Magic attacks

SOUND: Magic counter-attacks

TELOOPA

Zap, zap, zap. This is boring. How about…

SOUND: Brain-Sucking spell

SOUND: Summoning spell

MIJAR

Your second spell missed. Your little arm is getting tired.

TELOOPA

I wasn’t aiming at you the second time. That first spell sucked information out of you and the second spell was a tie-in summoning. It’s a very new spell. You’re probably not familiar—

MIJAR

I am familiar with the spells you just cast. I know all spells.

TELOOPA

Then run for your life already.

MIJAR

Even if you have discovered my deepest fear, it is too distant for a novice like you to summon.

SOUND: Distant giant footsteps

TELOOPA

Your ears are novices, Dragon Dung! I can hear it coming.

MIJAR

That would be your pitiful spells mis-identifying the object of my fear. I only fear it in oversized form.

SOUND: Approaching giant footsteps

TELOOPA

(smug)

You mean like that?

SOUND: Giant runny nose

TODDLER GIANT

Me have boogers.

MIJAR

Ahhhhh! Giant boogers! Nooooo! Put them back in your nose, you gooey brat! Put them back!

SOUND: Giant booger splat

MIJAR

Ahhhhh!

SOUND: Running

TELOOPA

Ooo, I wonder how long it’ll take him to remember he can teleport.

ENELCIA

Fear is distracting.

TELOOPA

Wait for it…

SOUND: Running grows distant

SOUND: Running abruptly stops

SOUND: Teleportation spell

SOUND: Armor clanking

SOUND: Approaching footsteps

SIR JP

Did I hear that right? The royal sorcerer is threatening Wilzerlott?

TELOOPA

Ex-royal sorcerer. I’m on his list, apparently.

SIR JP

He sounded like he was declaring war on the majority of us.

ENELCIA

But he only hates the Queen, and she can’t die. Maybe he’s making up for that by attacking anyone who mentions her?

SOUND: Giant footsteps

SOUND: Giant sniff

YEMILINA

Darling baby giant, you have saved us! Listen carefully now. You must never wipe your nose ever again.

TODDLER GIANT

Me need tissue.

YEMILINA

No, no, darling. We mustn’t. A sheen of mucus glistening upon your enormous face may be needed at a moment’s notice. It’s our only proven defense against Mijar.

TODDLER GIANT

(whining)

ENELCIA

Be brave, sweetie. You can do it.

YEMILINA

We’d better end here. I’m sure the cave people have had enough excitement.

TELOOPA

They’ll get nothing if Nazzy doesn’t come back.

YEMILINA

(tearful)

Stop it!

SOUND: Clanking armor

SIR JP

Do not make her cry.

TELOOPA

You don’t really believe that Nazzy—

SIR JP

You will tolerate the princess’s optimism.

TELOOPA

Take your hand off your sword hilt.

YEMILINA

Quiet! Just let me say…

SOUND: Forest ambiance

YEMILINA

Farewell, cave people of the future. Thank you for…no. No, I’m not going to say it. Wherever Nazzy is, she will thank you for listening. She will find a way to record herself, and we’ll add her bit on right here…whenever we get it.

EXT – CLIFF OVERLOOKING OCEAN

SOUND: Time travel echoes

SOUND: Body thud on rock

NAZZY
Uhn!

SOUND: Ocean waves

SOUND: Honking geese

NAZZY
When am I? I don’t even know. I’m so dizzy.

SOUND: Metal box shifting

NAZZY                            

At least the Box of Doom hasn’t ruptured. It was looking dicey with that dragon fire so close.

SOUND: Ocean waves

SOUND: Honking geese

SOUND: Footsteps

NAZZY

Yikes, this island is small. It doesn’t look like any people live here. Geese can’t help me disarm this box. Maybe I should just try jumping ahead again.
 
 

SOUND: Time travel begins

SOUND: Honking geese

SOUND: Time travel interrupted

NAZZY
Go away!

SOUND: Pecking geese

NAZZY

Ouch! Shoo! Why do you care if I time travel? You’re geese!
 
 

SOUND: Honking geese

NAZZY

(groan)

Must you honk so loud? I’m getting a headache.

SOUND: Mist People arrive

SOUND: Mist People ambiance

MIST PEOPLE

Must honk.
 

NAZZY

Whoa…who are you people? You’re so airy and wispy like wind. Are you ghosts?

MIST PEOPLE

Not ghosts.

NAZZY
Ah. I’m afraid that’s my closest basis for comparison. Sorry if I offended you.

MIST PEOPLE

Not mad.

NAZZY
Then why are your pearly faces getting so red?

MIST PEOPLE

Shy blush.

NAZZY
Oh. Well, I’m no one to be shy over. It’s not like I’m judging you or anything. I came by accident.

SOUND: Pearl ropes running through hands

SOUND: Buckets lowering

SOUND: Buckets hitting water

NAZZY
Why are you lowering those buckets into the ocean?

MIST PEOPLE

Find pearls.

NAZZY
Wow, the ropes on your buckets are made of pearls. You must have quite a collection already.

MIST PEOPLE

Need more.

NAZZY
Why?

MIST PEOPLE

Touch pearls.

NAZZY

You like the texture?

MIST PEOPLE

Can touch.

NAZZY

Do you mean…you can touch pearls, but you can’t touch other things? You do seem to be passing through everything else on this cliff…the rocks, the geese…

SOUND: Mist People passing through matter

NAZZY

…and me!

SOUND: Mist People passing through matter

NAZZY

(uncomfortable noise)

Uh…please don’t do that. It’s dangerous for you to come near this box I’m holding. It contains magic gone bad that could wipe out all life.

MIST PEOPLE

We life.

NAZZY
Yeah, exactly. I was hoping you might be extremely advanced, and you could help me neutralize this extinction bomb. You see, I’m from a time before we knew how to properly dispose of bad spells.

MIST PEOPLE

You old.

NAZZY
Not especially. I travel through time.

MIST PEOPLE

Big trip.

NAZZY
Was it? Can you tell me when I am?

MIST PEOPLE

Humans reborn.

NAZZY
Distant future then? Were you solid humans long ago?

MIST PEOPLE

Very long.

NAZZY
Hmm…listen, there’s a huge, shall we say…culture gap…here. It’s hard for me to understand why mostly incorporeal beings are only able to touch pearls. Or why you can blush when it looks like you have no blood for your cheeks. Or—

SOUND: Honking geese

NAZZY

(sigh)

Or how you put up with geese that won’t stop honking! Would you mind giving me a little back story? How did you get this way?

MIST PEOPLE

Long evolve.

NAZZY
Could you maybe tell me the story using more than two words?

MIST PEOPLE

No more.

NAZZY
(frustrated sigh)

SOUND: Ghost appearing

NAZZY
King David!

KING DAVID

The Mist People speak in short gusts of wind, Time Meddler. It has been their custom for centuries.

NAZZY
And you’ve been stuck on Earth for millions of years? You must be horribly bored.

KING DAVID

I appear to those I know and with whom I wish to communicate. I have been slumbering since my last meeting with Augusta. Our daughter’s descendants are long gone.

NAZZY
I’m honoured to be a reason you appear, Your Majesty. Can you tell me how the Mist People evolved?

KING DAVID

Over the last few millennia, most continents sank deep under the oceans. Humans used their final decades of sinking to mess around with other dimensions and powers they found there. They recreated themselves as flying, incorporeal beings with biological needs satisfied by salt water and air. There were unexpected consequences. They crave pearls now because they still crave touch, and it is all they can touch. They are forced to coat all their technology in pearls, so that they can handle it.

NAZZY
What technology? Something besides buckets on ropes? Please let there be more.

KING DAVID

They are meticulous record keepers. They never let a moment go by without recording it. Look there! Under those rocks!

SOUND: Footsteps

SOUND: Shifting rocks

SOUND: Computer ambiance

NAZZY
A computer…bumpy all over with pearls…is it still recording? 

KING DAVID

Yes. The Mist People have not been able to touch it since the rocks fell on top.

MIST PEOPLE

Thank you.

NAZZY
I can move rocks for you anytime. I just don’t know if I can guarantee this box will never break open and destroy you all. If I could find a time further ahead…maybe leave it on a dead Earth where there is no life to harm…

SOUND: Time travel begins

NAZZY
(groan of pain)

Oh, why does that hurt? Stretching my body across time and space is not supposed to hurt.

MIST PEOPLE

Too sick.

NAZZY
You’re probably right. I’ll rest a few days and try again.

MIST PEOPLE

Good plan.

NAZZY
You’re not word people, yet you’re recording your lives through audio? Is it more about capturing…ocean sounds?

MIST PEOPLE

Waves talk.

NAZZY
Oh, you speak Ocean? Huh. Do you also understand what the geese are saying?

MIST PEOPLE

Just honk.

NAZZY
That’s what I hear, too.

SOUND: Honking geese

NAZZY
So if you like the ocean so much, wouldn’t it have made more sense to recreate yourselves as an aquatic species?

MIST PEOPLE

Mean fish.

NAZZY
Oh. So geese are kinder? They sound irritated to me. Is it because I’m here?

MIST PEOPLE

You strange.

NAZZY
Well, since you already have a recording going, do you mind if I save it to share with future…not future. Wrong direction. Can I share this with cave people from a long, long time ago?

MIST PEOPLE

How long?

NAZZY
They’re from the year 2023. Does that make a difference?

MIST PEOPLE

Not mind.

NAZZY

Okay. Thanks.

MIST PEOPLE

Fun year.

NAZZY

I guess you would know. Goodbye, fair listeners. I’ll edit this later. Looks like the Mist People are going to be recording non-stop.

SOUND: Ocean waves

SOUND: Mist People ambiance

SOUND: Honking geese

NAZZY

If we’re not eaten by dragons…well, everyone back home, that is. If I don’t drown or destroy life on Future Earth…that doesn’t sound as good, does it? Anyway, you shall soon hear…something.

SOUND: Ocean waves

SOUND: Mist People ambiance

SOUND: Honking Geese

NAZZY

Wish us luck!

SOUND: Closing theme music