#24: My Evil Twin

Armed with a drum that keeps wolf assassins away, Yemilina and Nazzy follow the Toddler Giant to a place where he claims to have met his evil twin.

Written and Produced by Jennifer Lott

Voice Actors:
Shannon Rea as Nazzy
Jennifer Lott as Yemilina
Lynda Williams (Happy Birthday!) as Queen Augusta
Ivy Lott as Child Yemilina
Tory Lott as Toddler Giant
Owen Lott as Wenoburt

Transcript

SOUND: Opening theme music

INT – NAZZY’S COTTAGE

SOUND: Giant footsteps approaching

SOUND: Giant knocks

YEMILINA

(gasp)

TODDLER GIANT

Princess, come out! Stop hiding in your tiny house!

SOUND: Footsteps on creaky floor

SOUND: Window opening

SOUND: Forest ambiance

YEMILINA

Hi there, baby giant! Stop knocking on that roof, now. Gentle hands. This is my friend’s house and I’m afraid I must hide in it. At least until we hear from—

TODDLER GIANT

Good dragon coming.

SOUND: Dragon wings approaching

YEMILINA

Oh!

SOUND: Soft dragon roar 

YEMILINA

Careful, My Love, the house is—

SOUND: Sheild magic

SOUND: Dragon roar

SOUND: Dragon body fall

YEMILINA

—dragon proof. Are you alright?

SOUND: Dragon groan

SOUND: Dragon movement

YEMILINA

Just stay there. I’ll lean out the window.

SOUND: Floorboards creaking

YEMILINA

How did the fire torturing go? Did Mijar restore Teloopa’s magic?

SOUND: Dragon snort

YEMILINA

He got away?

SOUND: Dragon groan

YEMILINA

Oh, it’s not your fault. You’re used to threatening villains with your sword. You can’t be expected to master flesh-melting tactics your very first time.

SOUND: Dragon snort

SOUND: Footsteps on creaky floor

YEMILINA

(sigh)

So much for Teloopa undoing everything Mijar has done.

NAZZY

We need a solution to the wolf problem – even if it’s temporary. Wait here. I’m going to take a sneak peek ahead.

SOUND: Time travel – departing

SOUND: Dragon snorts

YEMILINA

Don’t gripe about it, My Love. Even if time travel is ‘cheating,’ it’s the best we’ve got without Teloopa. You don’t want me to be trapped in here forever, do you?

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

SOUND: Time travel – arriving

TODDLER GIANT

Me want drum.

NAZZY

If I give this to you, you have to promise to bang on it at least once per minute. It’s for keeping wolves away.

TODDLER GIANT

Me promise.

SOUND: Wolf-banishing drum

YEMILINA

When will we figure out how to make a drum that keeps wolves away?

NAZZY

Oh, it’s a while from now. Another invention meant to protect us from dragons, but it’s only powerful enough to affect smaller predators.

TODDLER GIANT

My evil twin like moving cows.

NAZZY and YEMILINA

What?

TODDLER GIANT

My evil twin got one hand – a big one. Big tail and a big head and a big leg and a big drawing on his face.

YEMILINA

Your…evil twin? Darling baby giant, I refuse to believe you have any such thing.

TODDLER GIANT

Come and see!

SOUND: Giant footsteps retreating

SOUND: Dragon growling

SOUND: Dragon flying

YEMILINA

Might as well.

SOUND: Footsteps on creaky floor

SOUND: Door opening

EXT – ENCHANTED FOREST AT THE EDGE OF MARKETPLACE

SOUND: Footsteps on dirt

SOUND: Door closing

SOUND: Giant footsteps

YEMILINA

Don’t forget to bang that drum!

SOUND: Wolf-banishing drum

SOUND: Overlapping footsteps on dirt

NAZZY

Come along, vivicord. Stick with us.

SOUND: Vivicord running

SOUND: Forest ambiance fading out

SOUND: Marketplace ambiance fading in

SOUND: Puffing chimneys

YEMILINA

Those chimneys look awfully hot. Do you suppose there’s something dangerous in…oh, never mind. I know what they’re doing.

SOUND: Fireworks

SOUND: ‘Happy Birthday’ tune

NAZZY

I remember those fireworks. I don’t catch them every year, with all my travelling.

YEMILINA

Pop out of every chimney in the kingdom on the Queen’s birthday. Bloated weasel.

SOUND: Fireworks

YEMILINA

And there go the banners.

SOUND: Unfurling banners

SOUND: ‘Happy Birthday’ tune

NAZZY

Oh, the candles are the worst part. How are people supposed to eat today?

SOUND: Candle flames

SOUND: ‘Happy Birthday’ tune

SOUND: Muttering crowd

YEMILINA

Candles on their lemons, their potatoes, their apples, their mutton, even on their roasted woozles – it’s a wonder she’s not setting every merchant ablaze.

NAZZY

It’s enchanted fire. It can’t leave the wick and spread anywhere, but it’s awkward to eat around anyway.

SOUND: Fireworks

SOUND: Unfurling banners

SOUND: Candle flames

SOUND: ‘Happy Birthday’ tune

YEMILINA

Why hasn’t Mijar removed these wretched enchantments? Nobody cares that it’s the Queen’s birthday. I would think he of all people would prevent reminders.

NAZZY

He probably forgot about these enchantments. Some of his spell work is decades old, after all.

SOUND: Overlapping footsteps on dirt

SOUND: Giant footsteps

SOUND: Dragon flying

SOUND: Marketplace ambiance fading out

SOUND: Fireworks fading out

SOUND: Forest ambiance fading in

NAZZY

Or maybe he’s hoping the Queen will hear these reminders while she’s trapped and unable to celebrate. He’s rubbing salt in the wound.

YEMILINA

If it’s salt, I support him.

NAZZY

That’s going a bit far. He’s been trying to kill you.

YEMILINA

I don’t support that. I’m conflicted.

SOUND: Giant footsteps stop

TODDLER GIANT

You are two people.

YEMILINA

No, no, baby giant. I meant I am of two minds. That’s what conflicted means.

TODDLER GIANT

Two of you! Look!

YEMILINA and NAZZY

Oh!

SOUND: Mirror Enchantment

SOUND: Echo of ‘oh’

NAZZY

That other me is moving like I did a second ago. I think it’s a mirror with just a slight time delay.

SOUND: Echo of ‘time delay’

SOUND: Air swish

YEMILINA

There’s no mirror here. It’s air.

NAZZY

An enchantment – like the one the elves use on their lake to create false mermaids.

YEMILINA

That was to confuse dragons, wasn’t it? Is this a high risk area for dragon attacks?

SOUND: Dragon growl 

YEMILINA

Not that I’m worried, My Love. I know you’re the toughest dragon in the land and you can defeat a whole flock of them…easily! Even if you are, uh, still quite new at being a dragon. I believe in you!

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

TODDLER GIANT

My evil twin eats dragons.

SOUND: Dragon snort

TODDLER GIANT

Not so loud, dragon. My evil twin will hear you!

YEMILINA

You don’t have an evil twin. It’s just a reflection of you.

TODDLER GIANT

He left his cows.

SOUND: Mirror enchantment

SOUND: Cows mooing

YEMILINA

Oh! Your ev — I-I mean this enchanted mirror image of you really does like moving cows. He seems to be playing with them like they’re figurines.

NAZZY

That’s more than a slight time delay. Did you play with cows before we came here? How long ago?

TODDLER GIANT

It’s not me. It’s my evil twin!

(frustrated noise)

You don’t listen!

NAZZY

Sorry, sorry. Let’s say he is your evil twin. Does that make…those people…our evil twins?

SOUND: Mirror enchantment

YEMILINA

If mine is evil, we shall soon see her kissing babies and making them unlucky. A dragon will swoop upon a nursery the moment she leaves it.

SOUND: Air swish

NAZZY

They’re not corporeal. Maybe any evil in them is just for show? Or a warning? It could be a message left by a time traveler we’ve yet to know.

YEMILINA

Or by you. You don’t know all the things you’ve done. You’ve got too many years ahead of you.

NAZZY

True enough.

TODDLER GIANT

You find elf friend. My evil twin wants to squish her frog baby.

YEMILINA

(gasp)

Oh no, darling, are you sure?

TODDLER GIANT

Me sure.

YEMILINA

Oh, Nazzy, I know he’s not the best source of information, but if there’s any chance—?

NAZZY

I don’t think any version of a giant could deliberately harm an elf. The bond between elves and giants is so ancient, they’re practically family.

YEMILINA

First of all, Enelcia’s baby is currently a frog and looks nothing like an elf, so how is that ancient bond supposed to kick in? Second of all, our giant friend here has repeatedly used the word ‘evil’ to describe his doppelganger. If the Queen is any indication, there is no coming back from that. Once you are evil, you will break any rules and follow your evil impulses. Let’s not wait until my evil self starts dooming newborns. Let’s do something about this!

NAZZY

Hmm…we might as well start with Enelcia. She needs an intervention anyway.

YEMILINA

That’s right. And therapy. Shall we have that ready to go right after? In case we break her with our tough love?

NAZZY

I think we can keep her in one piece.

YEMILINA

Emotionally, I meant.

NAZZY

I know.

YEMILINA

Oh, but Teloopa has no magic right now. She can’t change the frog baby back.

NAZZY

We can get a transformation potion from someone else, or from Teloopa’s past self for that matter. The important thing is to get Enelcia on board with the idea.

YEMILINA

I suppose you’re right.

TODDLER GIANT

Me want to help elf friend.

NAZZY

Of course. I’ll let you know when we’ve got it organized, okay? You should go home first and check with your parents.

TODDLER GIANT

Come get me soon.

NAZZY

I will. Oh, and give me that drum. I’ll take over.

SOUND: Wolf-banishing drum

SOUND: Giant footsteps retreating

YEMILINA

So how many is that now? You, the baby giant; Wenoburt and Rose, I expect. Teloopa – if she feels like it – and me.

NAZZY

About that…I’ve been thinking…Enelcia is sure to lash out and use all of our vulnerable points to distract us from her. I think we should brace ourselves. Make peace with a thing or two in our own lives…before we confront her.

SOUND: Dragon flying 

YEMILINA

Thank you for your concern, but I am not feeling vulnerable about Sir JP’s current form. We’re still going to spend time together in all the ways that really matter.

SOUND: Soft dragon roar 

NAZZY

Okay…that’s one thing.

YEMILINA

I have no other things.

NAZZY

I think you have one more.

YEMILINA

(dangerously)

What?

NAZZY

Your baby’s grandma.

YEMILINA

Sir JP’s mother is coping very well, considering. She wishes her son weren’t a dragon, but she takes comfort from the unborn grandchild he has given her.

NAZZY

I meant the other grandma.

YEMILINA

(furious)

I told you—

NAZZY

You only forbade the ‘M’ word.

YEMILINA

Really, Nazzy! I thought you’d be smart enough to extend that to the ‘G’ word, as well!

NAZZY

But we’ll be confronting Enelcia about her family. Don’t you think it will hurt our intervention if you can’t even stand to hear yours mentioned?

YEMILINA

You are being a bad friend. That’s what will hurt our intervention. We shall have to be a united front when we face Enelcia, and if you start questioning my—

NAZZY

Oh, I forgot to tell you: my tests for carrying people safely into the far future are going really well. I’ve even tested the trips with pregnant monkeys. No problems.

YEMILINA

Oh…really? You mean…you could really take me to meet the cave people of the future? Oh! My bird baby kicks so much every time you hint at this! My very heart is kicking with joy. How soon can we go?

NAZZY

Are you comfortable with a little test? Just a small trip forward to warm up for the big one?

YEMILINA

Absolutely. Two hours forward?

NAZZY

How about two days?

YEMILINA

What? No!

SOUND: Time travel

SOUND: Marketplace Ambiance

YEMILINA

When are we, Nazzy? What did you do?

NAZZY

Don’t worry about it. I’ve still got the drum. Here, take it.

SOUND: Drum movement

YEMILINA

(startled noise)

SOUND: Wolf-banishing drum

SOUND: Spilling coins

SOUND: Squawking chickens

WENOBURT

Stop pecking at my gold, you silly chickens!

YEMILINA

Oh, there’s Wenoburt. I’ll ask him. Wenoburt!

SOUND: Running footsteps

WENOBURT

I wasn’t feeding it to you. I just spilled it.

SOUND: Squawking chickens

SOUND: Scooping up coins

YEMILINA

Wenoburt, where is Enelcia? We’re having an important meeting with her sometime soon. Have you heard about it?

WENOBURT

We already gave her an intervention. It’s over.

YEMILINA

(gasp)

Nazzy! You made me miss it!

NAZZY

It’s for the best.

YEMILINA

Wait a minute…I remember confronting an elf about her baby once! It must have been a long time ago. I can barely think when…Nazzy!

SOUND: Time travel

INT – CASTLE

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

SOUND: Vivicord

NAZZY

Shh, be quiet, vivicord. For your benefit, dear listeners, we’re inside the castle at a time it still existed. It’s always sort of nice for me to see it again. Makes me nostalgic. But I mustn’t get distracted by tapestries this time. There will be plenty of opportunities to collect lost mementoes later.

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

SOUND: Creaking door

SOUND: Dining room ambiance

NAZZY

Private dining room. Oh, wow, King David in his living flesh body…

CHILD YEMILINA

Good night, Daddy.

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

SOUND: Door closing

NAZZY

Now that he’s left the dining room, Queen Augusta should be leaving soon, too. The governess will be coming for little Yemmy. I’ll just hide behind this tapestry and wait.

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

SOUND: Tapestry movement

SOUND: Clinking plates

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Don’t stack your plates like that, darling. The servants need their work, you know. If we do it for them, they’ll become bored and listless.

CHILD YEMILINA

Nazzy says there’s always more to do, even if I help.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Ooo, that servant’s child. Darling, it’s not—

CHILD YEMILINA

Please don’t be mad, Mommy. She always washes her hands before she plays with my toys.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

There, there, darling, I’m not mad at you. I just wish there were a few young duchesses for you to play with.

CHILD YEMILINA

Nazzy can find them for you. She can do anything.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

You really shouldn’t encourage her, darling.

CHILD YEMILINA

She found my baby blanket.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Ah, well, I like her a bit better then. Where did you put it?

CHILD YEMILINA

Can you keep a secret, Mommy?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Is it about Nazzy?

CHILD YEMILINA

No, it’s my secret cupboard.

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

SOUND: Cupboard opening

CHILD YEMILINA

I keep extra toys in here. Here’s my blanket.

SOUND: Rustling blanket

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Oh, how lovely! It seems to be in better condition than when I last saw it.

CHILD YEMILINA

It’s from the past.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Whatever you say, dear. You just take good care of it and someday you’ll have it wrapped around a sweet baby of your very own.

CHILD YEMILINA

I can’t wait to hold my baby! She’s going to be so cute!

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Of course, your baby – princess or prince – will be adorable. Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up, though. Let me have my baby a while longer.

CHILD YEMILINA

I’m not a baby!

QUEEN AUGUSTA

You always will be to me.

CHILD YEMILINA

Why?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Oh, just because I’m your mother. You’ll understand someday.

CHILD YEMILINA

Can everyone else tell I’m not a baby?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Yes, my dearest. The rest of the world will see you grow.

CHILD YEMILINA

Okay.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(yawn)

I must get to bed. Where is that governess of yours?

CHILD YEMILINA

I can wait for her here. That’s why I have extra toys ready.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Alright, darling. Ring the bell if she takes too long.

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

SOUND: Door closing

SOUND: Stuffed toys shifting

CHILD YEMILINA

(improv)

SOUND: Tapestry movement

CHILD YEMILINA

(gasp)

SOUND: Footsteps on hard floor

NAZZY

Hi, little Yemmy. I’m Nazzy. Do you remember my last visit?

CHILD YEMILINA

You’re too old to be Nazzy. Nazzy is a little girl like me.

NAZZY

That’s right, we’ve just become friends in your time. Maybe I should have caught you a bit earlier. I didn’t mean to confuse you.

CHILD YEMILINA

I understand time travel. You’re Nazzy’s future self. Are you here to pick up all the dresses child you rescued from wine stains?

NAZZY

No. I have other concerns right now.

SOUND: Rustling blanket

NAZZY

I forgot about this blanket. Future you might like to have it now.

CHILD YEMILINA

Can you please take a different blanket? This one is special. Mommy doesn’t want me to lose it.

NAZZY

Not to worry. I’m not here to upset your mother. Well…actually, she will be upset. But not about the blanket. I can come get that right before it needs rescuing.

CHILD YEMILINA

Child you already rescued this blanket.

NAZZY

I know. She doesn’t have to worry about this rescue. You keep it for now.

CHILD YEMILINA

Are you and Mommy friends in the future?

NAZZY

Ah…now, don’t take this the wrong way, Little Yemmy, but…

CHILD YEMILINA

What?

NAZZY

I don’t think your Mommy has any friends in my time. It was her birthday when I left, and only the Royal Birthday Enchantments celebrated. You know, those spells that make fireworks shoot out of all the chimneys and make lit candles appear on all the food.

CHILD YEMILINA

Didn’t the enchantments help everyone remember her birthday?

NAZZY

It wasn’t that people didn’t remember, it’s just…I shouldn’t, Yemmy. It’s too much.

CHILD YEMILINA

Can I make my future Mommy a birthday card?

NAZZY

Of course you can. I’ll just date it for you, so your future self doesn’t get mad.

CHILD YEMILINA

Why would future me get mad?

NAZZY

The important thing is that you’re allowed to feel however you feel in this moment. Don’t let the future mess that up. Trust me. It’s a headache only I can bear.

CHILD YEMILINA

I love Mommy, because she’s my mommy.

NAZZY

That makes sense. Mommies love their kids no matter what, and kids love their mommies.

CHILD YEMILINA

That’s right.

NAZZY

Do you want to come to an intervention?

CHILD YEMILINA

What’s an intervention?

NAZZY

Well…there’s a mommy elf who had her baby turned into a frog. For a good reason, but it’s gone too far. We’re trying to convince her it’s time to change her baby back into an elf.

CHILD YEMILINA

Frogs jump better than elves.

NAZZY

True, but there are lots of things she won’t get to do if she grows up as a frog.

CHILD YEMILINA

Like losing her first tooth? Frogs don’t have teeth.

NAZZY

Yes, that’s a good point. Or how about learning to talk? Clapping her hands? Playing games with kids like you?

CHILD YEMILINA

I want to play pat-a-cake with the baby.

NAZZY

Will you come tell her mommy that?

CHILD YEMILINA

Take me to her.

NAZZY

I will in a minute. Why don’t you go get one of your soft toys for the elf baby to hug?

CHILD YEMILINA

Okay. I’ll give her my cow with the bell inside.

SOUND: Retreating footsteps on hard floor

SOUND: Cupboard opening

SOUND: Stuffed animals shifting

NAZZY

Farewell, cave people of the future. Thank you for listening. If we are not swallowed by dragons, you shall soon hear more. Wish us luck.

SOUND: Approaching footsteps on hard floor

SOUND: Cow bell jingling

CHILD YEMILINA

I’m ready!

SOUND: Time travel – departing

SOUND: Closing theme music