77: The Sanctuary of Community for Those Fighting Cancer | Madeline Balmaceda

When Madeline Balmaceda stepped through the doors of HealingStrong, she wasn't just searching for a community; she was seeking refuge from the storm of anxiety that accompanied her loved ones' health struggles. Her story, woven into this episode, is a powerful testament to the solace one can find amid despair, and the unexpected support that can come from leaning into faith and scripture. Join us as Madeline opens up about the tranquility she discovered and how the simple act of absorbing the Bible's words provided her an anchor in turbulent times.

Battles with illness can often feel solitary, but they don't have to be. In my own fight against cancer, I found a bastion of support in the Healing Strong community, which stood as a testament to the strength found in unity. This episode isn't just about my journey, though—it's about my daughter KarriAnn's courage as she faces her renewed cancer challenge with a deepened faith and an embrace of the support that HealingStrong offers, regardless of the miles that separate us. Together, we're traversing the rough waters of uncertainty with a strengthened spirit and a bond that distance cannot weaken.

Wrapping up our conversations, we pivot to the remarkable tale of a former performer whose life's path has meandered through the realms of education, corporate life, and, now, a spiritually-rich retirement. The episode rounds out by shining a light on the core mission of Healing Strong: empowering individuals through faith on their healing journey and offering a wealth of resources to foster this empowerment. Whether it's through sharing your own story of encouragement or supporting the community, this episode invites you to discover the transformative power of faith, hope, and togetherness.

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Around the Word in 80 Days

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I will tell you the first time she was diagnosed, jim, it was like a bullet to the heart. It was like a bullet to the heart. It was like I, just someone, had just killed me. You know, it's every mother's worst nightmare. But I don't feel that this time I feel you're going to be okay. I just have a sense that things God is going to work whatever he needs to work, and I have confidence in him. God has been so magnificent in my entire life. When I look back on it, I can see like he put protection around me in so many situations and in situations with Carrie Antel and I just I can't glorify him enough. I really feel that he's been there for me in so many ways and has heard me and seen me, and that's such a great feeling, isn't it, to know that God hears you and sees you.

Speaker 3: 1:01

I believe that You're listening to the I am Healing Strong podcast, a part of the Healing Strong organization, the number one network of holistic cancer support groups in the world. Each week we bring you stories of hope, real stories that will encourage you as you navigate your way on your own journey to health. Now here's your host stage four cancer thriver, jim Mann.

Speaker 2: 1:29

Thank you for joining us on this podcast. Today we're talking to Madeline Balmoussada.

Speaker 1: 1:34

You got it.

Speaker 2: 1:36

Oh, I'm feeling good about myself now and you're down in warm Florida. I'm assuming it's warm today.

Speaker 1: 1:43

Relatively yes.

Speaker 2: 1:45

Warm compared to the rest of us Something. Of course I'm in South Carolina. It's not that bad. I mean we're in the 50s, that's like. I love that weather because I'm not ready to sweat yet It'll come soon enough. South Carolina the summer feels like Florida.

Speaker 1: 2:00

Yes, it does.

Speaker 2: 2:02

So how long have you been involved with Healing Strong? Take us back to where you first connected there.

Speaker 1: 2:08

I first connected to Healing Strong in February of 2021, I believe, so it's just about three years, and I didn't come to Healing Strong in the same way that most people do. Most people have a diagnosis and end up connecting with one of the groups, and that didn't happen for me. What happened for me was I was experiencing a lot of anxiety myself, because I had a lot of people around me who had been diagnosed, who had other illnesses, and for some reason, they leaned on me, came to me for comfort or prayer, whatever it may be, and it was having a lot of trouble dealing with it. I started myself to feel extremely anxious and I had never been an anxious person in my life. I was always the calm one, and I think that's what most people saw. They said, yes, madeline, she's the calm one, let me go to her. And it just started piling on and piling on and I started it really was affecting my health. I started to really be anxious, more than I had ever been, and I didn't know what to do, where to turn, and I had a friend who had a friend, and the friend of the friend was a member of Healing Strong Carol and Carol. They all lived in my neighborhood in the Bronx.

Speaker 1: 3:45

Carol told Maria, who was my neighbor in the Bronx, about around the word in 80 days. And Maria contacted me and said and she knew what was going on with me. And she said you know, there's this thing. Carol told me about this thing that's going on. It's a bunch of people who get together, it's there's naturopathic healing meetings about it, but they have this thing at night where they read the Bible aloud and they do an hour a night. And she explained the whole thing Six people volunteer and you don't have to do anything, you can just dial in and listen. And I said well, that sounds interesting. And so she gave me all of the information and I sat on it and I sat on it and I sat on it and on day what turned out to be day eight of the reading, I said I was just at Whitson and I said I'm gonna join. So I joined. It didn't say anything, my mouth said I just listened.

Speaker 1: 4:41

And just a remarkable thing happened to me, jim. It was as though I was just. I was washed over with peace, completely washed over with peace. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before and all that was happening is that people were reading God's word. There was no commentary on it, there was no praying during it. It was reading God's word and that was it. And I thought what is happening here? What is going on here? And I had grown up in a Christian family and we practiced their version.

Speaker 1: 5:21

My parents practiced their version of religion. So I was raised as a Christian, but I never read the Bible from beginning to end. I had been exposed to it. Well, a little snippets here and there, and maybe a good portion of it I had read at one point or another, but I never read it from beginning to end. And this was my first exposure to that. So something happened during that reading and that was my first exposure to reading. That's how I got to Healing Strong.

Speaker 1: 5:55

By my anxiety, god brought me, through these other people, into the Healing Strong group and so I said nothing. I said nothing. And then, on February 22nd and I know that date because it was the anniversary of my father's passing and I said you know what? To honor my dad, I'm going to volunteer to read. And so and I was scared. I was really scared because I didn't really know the group at that point, but everybody seemed so nice and accepting and I was like what could go wrong? Right and nothing went wrong. I volunteered and I read and it was the most magnificent feeling to read the Word of God with all these other people who were just so supportive and so encouraging and so friendly. And, jim, I never stopped. I, from that day forward, I joined the group, I volunteered to read when they needed readers and I, for since February of 2021. I've been reading. I've been reading the Bible with people from healing strong.

Speaker 2: 7:05

Wow, so every 80 days you're going through the whole Bible.

Speaker 1: 7:09

That's right. That's right every 80 days. And now there's that there's no like group reading of it.

Speaker 1: 7:16

They have the recordings of the second round of readings right and some of them are me actually and on, posted on the website, and there's an 80-day challenge and I'm doing that right now myself. So that's it's. It's extraordinary, it's, it's really extraordinary. Um, but but what it did for me, jim, never second guess God, because I, as I said I was, I was in the group because of my own anxiety, but God knew God was preparing me because my daughter was diagnosed with advanced colorectal cancer Last a year ago, december. Okay, and God was preparing me for that. Because I think Most people feel like, well, like there's two ways for me to go. You know, I can go closer to God or I can reject God and say why are you doing this to me?

Speaker 2: 8:19

And.

Speaker 1: 8:19

I chose to go closer. Why? Because I've been reading the Word of God and because I was surrounded by people who were going through it, who also made that choice to go closer to God, and it has made all the difference, all the difference in the world and um, I'm just gonna say that For Carrie Ann was, she had no evidence of disease over the summer, but just very, very recently, like before we started this recording, I got a, a call that her cancer has.

Speaker 1: 8:57

It's confirmed, that her cancer has returned. But I'm gonna say it's different for me now. Right, it's um, I Don't have the panic that I had back then and it's because I know where to turn, it's because I've I've gone through it and I, because of all the encouragement of everyone else at healing strong and because of everything that God's Word has told me, I don't feel that panic the way that I had last year.

Speaker 2: 9:30

Hmm, strange that peace. Yeah, where did that come from right?

Speaker 1: 9:34

Yeah, it's exactly what it's like. Where did that come from?

Speaker 2: 9:38

Yes. Now tell me about your daughter. How is she handling this and where is her faith? Is she like, nervous about it or is she trusting God? Where's she at in this journey?

Speaker 1: 9:50

She is trusting God. I think it's different for her this time around, because I think she's questioning more. What she just told me is that she's feeling like she needs to do something different. She needs to get closer to God. She has confidence that she will be healed. Because of that, I don't think Carrie Ann has the same feeling closeness with God that I do.

Speaker 1: 10:21

I think it's kind of funny, jim, because I think a lot of people around me not just Carrie Ann, but I think a lot of people around me are like oh, let's call Mad because they call me Mad, and said Mad and let's call Mad because she can pray for us. It's like never mind them praying for themselves, but oh, mad, she can pray for us, she's good at praying. I think there's a little bit of that going on. It's like pray for me. Everybody's asking me and Carrie Ann's asking me to pray for her. It's kind of an interesting thing. You think that people are like will you pray for me? And I'm like I will, I definitely will, but won't you pray for yourself also?

Speaker 2: 11:00

You're like having Billy Graham pray for you, or something.

Speaker 1: 11:05

Maybe they view me that way, I don't know. But I do feel close to God, I do feel like I have a good relationship with God, a good connection with him.

Speaker 2: 11:16

Well, that's good. Is she in an area? Does she live near you?

Speaker 1: 11:20

No, she lives in South Jersey, very, very South Jersey, like almost Atlantic City way down there.

Speaker 2: 11:28

Oh, okay, yeah, so when I'm in New York.

Speaker 1: 11:32

It's about a two-hour drive to there.

Speaker 2: 11:34

Okay. Is she near a Healing Strong group? Is she able to get into that?

Speaker 1: 11:39

Well, funny, you should ask, because she said that she feels that this time around she needs to get more involved in Healing Strong, that she feels that there was something purpose-driven in her cancer returning and she feels she needs to connect with Healing Strong, because she kind of connected with Healing Strong through me but now she wants to connect personally with Healing Strong and she's going to be taking her steps to find a group that's near her or an online group that can support her.

Speaker 2: 12:15

Yeah, that sounds very promising to me. Like you know, her life, no matter where she's at now, it's just going to turn around. Not that she's going the wrong direction, but getting closer to God is always a good thing, I found out, you know when.

Speaker 2: 12:31

I got my diagnosis, you know, and I've been a Christian since five years old, so it's at 20 years. I don't know when you're facing like what the doctors thought was death, you know, you get a little more serious with God. So I got to know God a whole lot closer and for that reason I'm glad I had the cancer. I'm also glad it's gone. That's always a good thing too. But I mean, it's just, it's like a slap in the face, like oh hey, this life is real. You know there is a beginning and an end of it on this earth, and then it gets good after that. Of course I know it's her cancer, so that she might be a little nervous over that, because I was a little nervous over mine, but I can definitely see this being a positive in her life and in her mom's life.

Speaker 2: 13:19

Yes, absolutely yeah it forces you to trust God, because you know, if you trust yourself, the doctors there's a lot of anxiety. That anxiety will come back.

Speaker 1: 13:29

Yes, absolutely, Jim yeah.

Speaker 2: 13:32

You know, and I'm sure you feel it every once in a while because she is your daughter, but I don't know.

Speaker 1: 13:36

Oh yes, but it I kind of we kind of because there was some symptoms that kind of eased me into this. But I will tell you, the first time she was diagnosed, jim, it was like a bullet to the heart. It was like a bullet to the heart. It was like I just someone had just killed me. You know, it's every mother's worst nightmare.

Speaker 1: 14:00

But I don't feel that this time I feel you're going to be okay. I just have a sense that things God is going to work, whatever he needs to work, and I have confidence in him. God has been so magnificent in my entire life. When I look back on it, I can see like he put protection around me in so many situations and in situations with Carrie Antel, and I just I can't glorify him enough. I really feel that he's, he's been there for me in so many ways and has heard me and seen me, and that's such a great feeling, isn't it, to know that God hears you and sees you. I believe that. I truly believe that when I pray every day, that he's right there listening to me.

Speaker 2: 14:54

Yeah, in fact I was thinking that yesterday I was walking through this. We have this path that goes through a really pretty part of the woods and there's like a lake there and everything, and it's easy to talk to God when you're in nature. But then it just kind of hit me. I thought, man, I'm just, I'm just little Jimmy man from Baltimore and and I can actually have a conversation With my best friend who is also just happens to be the creator of everything that is. See, I thought this is so weird. I mean, talk about opposites, but he's patient with me, he listens to me, he's patient when my mind wanders off. I'm like, why is my mind wandering and having conversations with people who aren't even here, when the creator of the universe is right here, Ready to talk, ready to listen once me to listen to him, and so it was. It just blew my mind there. I'm like man, I wish I could just focus a little bit better, stop talking and listen to what he has to say to me.

Speaker 2: 15:54

It's crazy.

Speaker 1: 15:55

I'll do that, don't we? We kind of like our minds trail off. It really takes tremendous discipline to just stay in the zone for a long, long period of time. Does he think, yeah, it is a practice. It's definitely a practice.

Speaker 2: 16:10

Mm-hmm. Now, now you said you're you and your husband, retired, which is, I find that hard to believe because you don't look old enough to retire. I do, but I'm not retired technically. Look like I should retire for 10 years, but oh. Oh let's be sad the point. What did you all do in New York?

Speaker 1: 16:33

I Was in the corporate world but I've kind of had Dual tracks of careers. So I had one career that started when I was a child and has gone until now, and parallel to that I've had other, like Other jobs. I'm gonna call them other jobs. So the job that I had my entire life was I was a professional performer, since I was a child Would sing, I would do, I Might.

Speaker 1: 17:04

My first thing I did was in second grade. I sang Silent Night in French on a television show, and then it just took over. I just, I don't know how, it just came to me. I just, you know, did things in elementary school, high school and I just started doing it. I joined unions, I got work. I don't know why or how, I just got work and it came to me. It just came to me. I did theatrical work. I worked on television in New York, which is easy to do because a lot of TVs in New York I did If soap operas, anything that if there was an extra that they you needed an extra floor, I'm in it. I work for my entire life doing that stuff. So I did that and then next to it I had kind of like Regular jobs, like. So I was, I taught at Hunter College for a while and then I was I Worked for the New York City Board of Education for a while doing like licensing exams, and then I worked in the corporate world.

Speaker 1: 18:03

That's what I retired from. I worked in the corporate world for a believe it or not a pharmaceutical company and Worked for them for 20 years and retired from them. So I've had these parallel things going on my my whole life and now I am we're just relaxing and enjoying the downtime. We have a five-year-old granddaughter that were who were enjoying the company of regularly. So and my husband worked in the financial world his entire career and now he plays a lot of golf and and we're just enjoying life. You know, we worked hard. We did work hard our entire lives. So we're enjoying life, yeah and living there in Florida.

Speaker 2: 18:48

Not a bad thing, except for hurricane, you know that time. But yeah, I remember my parents living there and there was that just how many years ago now. But when three hurricanes came right through the center part, right in through Lakeland where they live, they were just sitting in the kitchen playing cards while things are blowing by the windows. Like you know, when you're in Florida for a while you just get used to it.

Speaker 1: 19:12

You do, you do. That actually might be there when my mom lived. My mom lived in Ocala, Florida, for a while which is kind of central Florida.

Speaker 2: 19:21

Yeah, yeah, it's north of Lakeland, yeah, all that area.

Speaker 2: 19:25

So let's go back to this around the word in 80 days. It is so bizarre. I mean it's bizarre and yet it's not bizarre. I mean I've known God for a long time and I know his word is living and I understand there's so much about it that we don't understand. But it is so bizarre especially when you're reading through the Old Testament and you're stumbling over all these names like why is this important, Lord? Why did you put all these names in here? But obviously he has a purpose for everything, the genealogy and all that.

Speaker 2: 19:56

In fact I'm forcing myself to stay in the Old Testament because you know, I would like kind of drudge my way through. And then I jumped to the New Testament because it made more sense to me. I've been in Jeremiah and I'm in Jeremiah now. I just came through Isaiah. I'm like there's so much of this I don't understand, but it speaks of the times we're in now, even though he's speaking of times then, but it's also speaking of times now and it's also speaking forward to Jesus. I'm like man there's, my mind is so small. The more I read the Bible, the more I realize my mind is so small to the depth of this Bible. And so I've been listening also to the around the word in 80 days, you know, and I hear it's just regular people, it's not professional, it's not professional actors like yourself, but most of them, of course you're on there, but most of them are just regular people stumbling over names, you know, I would make some up, I would replace them myself when I'm reading by myself. Just call them.

Speaker 1: 20:57

Bob or something. I didn't know how to pronounce them. When I first started I did a lot of listening. I didn't really know. I just didn't best I could. But no, old Testament is hard.

Speaker 2: 21:09

Yeah, yes, it is, it's hard.

Speaker 1: 21:11

It's brutal. It's brutal. There's a lot in it that I think. When I first started reading it with the group, I was like wow, I didn't realize that was it. There's a lot of death and smiting. And wait a minute, why'd you kill them for that? You know that kind of thing.

Speaker 2: 21:29

It's hard, it's pretty gruesome in some areas, but it's life. Life is just dirty and messy, and God is okay with a mess, because that's all of our lives. But what would you say to somebody who's thinking well, you know, that sounds nice, but I don't really. I don't really want to get involved. I'll just read it on my own. What would you say to them? To encourage them to listen to the round, the?

Speaker 1: 21:52

world in each case.

Speaker 1: 21:53

Well, I would first. Here's the thing, jim when I was a youngster I was looking for something God whatever to come into my life and I was looking for him in the wrong places. I was looking at things that were mystical, and whatever a teenager does, you know, you go out there and you think you know everything and you just look for what you hope will bring you peace. But I have to tell you the Bible is the most mystical book I have ever read. If you're looking for mysticism, look no further, because the Bible is loaded with miracles and just crazy things happening out of the blue that in the end, if you stick with it, you see it all comes together, it all makes sense. But so I would say, if you're looking for something special to come into your life through what you read or what you interact with, you can read it. You're not going to get that anywhere else, you just aren't. You're looking in the wrong places.

Speaker 1: 23:07

Go to this, give it a chance, because it's easy to give up, especially in first samples and kings and all those hard chronicles with names and numbers and all that. It's easy to give up, but stick with it, because the dots are going to connect and they're going to connect in the most interesting way possible. It's going to if you can stick with the Old Testament. There's like when you get to the New Testament. There's a big exhale I think that's how I describe it. There's a huge exhale when you get to meet Christ, who's just. It's an extraordinary story. So I think that is what I would say to people.

Speaker 2: 23:53

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 23:53

I don't know if that's enough to grab anyone, but I did it. I did it and I think you could tell what would you say.

Speaker 2: 24:03

Yeah, well, I mean, there's so much anxiety in this world today because of, just, you know, social media, and people are worried about what people think of them and they're trying to live up to other people's social media platforms and seeing, wow, their life is perfect, which you know it's not. They just put the highlights on there. I can make my life look perfect on social media and it's certainly not. It might take me a little bit of work, but still I can make it look so much better. But life is just, it's hard and we worry about what people think, like I said.

Speaker 2: 24:35

But there's no better place to find your identity than finding out what God thinks about you, and especially when you hit the New Testament, like you said. And Jesus, you know, splits time and changes everything and takes what the Old Testament was saying. How you know God is forgiving his people over and over again and then they mess up. Then, if you know he's mad, then he forgives them. It just goes over and over. And then Jesus came in and took our place and you know, it is amazing.

Speaker 2: 25:08

It'll rip your heart out in a good way, thinking wow. When you really think about what he did for us he didn't have to, but that was his plan all along because he knew we couldn't do it and when we not worry about what people think of us, but just concentrating on what God means to us I mean what we mean to God then your anxiety is gone. You don't have to worry about what people are thinking. It's free. Counseling is what it is.

Speaker 1: 25:37

Yeah, well said. Yes, that's right, absolutely. You mentioned forgiveness, jim. Forgiveness and that's such a huge thing in the Bible and it's such a huge thing for healing strong also and I learned that in my travels with dealing strong that forgiveness is such an important of others and of yourself, such an important thing for healing. You know it's, and that's a big lesson in the Bible, a huge lesson in the Bible too.

Speaker 2: 26:15

Yeah, we don't think about it. What it actually does to you? Forgiveness, unforgiveness.

Speaker 3: 26:19

We'll say to other people.

Speaker 2: 26:21

But yeah, and of course, forgiveness for our way of life, our sins, the things that we can never get right. Forgiveness allows us to have a relationship with God for eternity. So I'm kind of I kind of like that, I like that plan.

Speaker 1: 26:38

Me too. It's my only hope.

Speaker 2: 26:40

I know you're perfect, but I'm not.

Speaker 1: 26:42

Oh, God bless.

Speaker 2: 26:46

Well, matt, I appreciate you talking about that and it is so nice to hear I've never heard anybody come into healing strong through the around the word in 80 days. That's very refreshing. There are probably some people who have, but that's usually. People say, well, yeah, I got a diagnosis and I found out about Chris Wark and I found out about him. He's strong, that's all and which is fine, you know. But still it's very refreshing to hear how you came in and what difference made your life and how it has helped with any anxiety you had over your daughter and I imagine I. You know I had my own diagnosis, but I know it'd be much worse if my kids had the diagnosis rather than me. You know that's that's got to be the toughest of all.

Speaker 2: 27:27

So I'm glad that you are, you're plugged in to the source and you trust him, and it's much better that way, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 27:36

Sure is, Sure is Jim. Praise God.

Speaker 2: 27:39

Oh right, well, is there, is there? Well, I was going to say. Usually I say can you know, how can people get ahold of you? But you, you've been taking on so many people's problems, so maybe you don't want to make it ahold of you right now, but yeah, yeah, so I won't do that to you. How about that?

Speaker 1: 28:01

Thank you, Jim.

Speaker 2: 28:03

But you let your daughter know, carry on, let her know we're praying for her and we expect the best out of this, because you know, we know, we know God is very capable.

Speaker 1: 28:12

Yes, absolutely, thank you so much.

Speaker 3: 28:16

You've been listening to the I Am Healing Strong podcast. A part of the Healing Strong organization. We hope you found encouragement in this episode, as well as the confidence to take control of your healing journey, knowing that God will guide you on this path. Healing Strong is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to connect, support and educate individuals facing cancer and other diseases through strategies that help to rebuild the body, renew the soul and refresh the spirit.

Speaker 3: 28:49

It costs nothing to be a part of a local or online group, and you can do that by going to our website at healingstrongorg and finding a group near you or an online group, or start your own, your choice. While you're there, take a look around at all the free resources. Though the resources and groups are free, we encourage you to join our membership program at $25 or $75 a month. This helps us to be able to reach more people with hope and encouragement, and that also comes with some extra perks as well, so check it out. If you enjoyed this podcast, please give us a five-star rating, leave an encouraging comment and help us spread the word. We'll see you next week with another story on the I Am Healing Strong podcast.