047 Spiritual Healing: From Tragedy to Transformation with Ayahuasca

In this powerful episode, Daniel a.k.a Tunez From The Crypt shares his spiritual journey of using ayahuasca as a tool to find his true self after years of alcohol addiction. Finally a traumatic car accident made him look deep within, and start his journey of transformation. He sought out healing through ayahuasca which ultimately led him to sobriety and a newfound sense of clarity and purpose.

Through the healing powers of this sacred plant medicine, Tunez was able to break free from the grips of addiction and reclaim his life. This is his story of hope, healing, and the incredible power of self-discovery. Stay tuned for his raw and honest account of his journey to sobriety.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I had an experience of dying. It was such a profound experience. I took that second cup and that's where I had the breakthrough. It put me in a fetal position. I'm dying, but they refer to it as like an ego death. It was like my brain is almost like shut down. And I was like, oh, like... I just died you know.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

Hi guys, Jenica here from Multispective and I'm here to share with you a new episode. I interviewed Daniel who talks in great detail about his childhood, a very unhappy childhood and his career path being a DJ later on in his life led to the indulgence and overindulgence of alcohol. He talks about his addiction with alcohol and how one alcohol-related car crash turned his entire life around and began his journey of recovery. Through the process of recovering and healing he had to make several changes in his life to clear his pathways and one of the things that he did was tried ayahuasca so he talks in great detail about his ayahuasca experience the retreat what you can expect going into it if this is something that you would ever want to try and how this helped him see the deeper side of himself to unravel some of the the traumas and to start that healing journey he talks Thank you so much. Daniel, welcome to Multispective. I'm so excited to have you here. How are you doing today? I'm

SPEAKER_00 2:15

good. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

Yeah, no, of course. I've heard a couple of your episodes that you've been on before, some podcasts that you've been on before. And I think that your story is really, really interesting. And I think there's so much our listeners can take away from this. But let's just like, start from the very, very beginning. Can you tell me a little bit about your childhood? Like, where are you from?

SPEAKER_00 2:35

And yeah. Sure. Yeah. I was born in 1992 in West Covina, California. It's about 30 minutes east of Los Angeles. I grew up in San Gabriel, same kind of area. I lived in San Gabriel till I was eight years old. And then I moved to a city called San Dimas, California, a little further east. And that's where I spent a majority of my life into high school and everything. And then after graduating high school, I went to the community college in the area. And then I transferred from the community college to the university. And so now I live in Pomona, still in the in the general area. And so I've been living in Pomona now for quite some time, but I'm actually getting a lot of signs lately. I think I'm going to end up moving to Florida here pretty soon. So we'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

Wow. Signs. Talk to me about that a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Yeah. I'm not sure. Are you familiar with synchronicities?

SPEAKER_03 3:29

A little bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Okay. So for the listeners who are unfamiliar with this concept of synchronicities, a synchronicity is essentially, you know, if you want to call it like sign from your guardian angel your spirit guides the universe you know a lot of people are familiar with like you know the angel numbers like 11 11 you know they look at the clock and they see but it goes even beyond that and my whole life has been synchronicities it's always been signs as a kid it would be like a word would come up and then I would just hear that word over and over like it would be on the TV like a commercial or on the radio I would hear it and it would just be so obvious and it would be repeating and then it would make me like either research something or pursue something and And as a kid, I was always well aware of them and I didn't know what they were. I just always thought they were like telling me that I was on the right path in life. And it wasn't until about seven or eight years ago, I was watching a YouTube video, this spiritual guy, and he was talking about this concept of synchronicities. And I was like, oh, okay. So yeah, like that's what I've been having my whole life. And so essentially my whole life has been these signs, like I said, from whatever you want to call it, the universe, my spirit guides, higher self, whatever you want to call it. And I follow those signs and it usually leads me to where I need to go and And so lately, I've been getting a lot of signs about Florida, a lot of them, like, it's hard to deny. And so I think that's going to be my next chapter out in Florida.

SPEAKER_03 4:51

That's a really, really cool concept. It is something that I'm definitely trying to open myself up to a little bit more. I feel like it's one of those things where it's just like a select few people who actually are able to pick up on those signs or notice those synchronicities around them and actually like act on it because these signs are so subtle that a a lot of people tend to miss it and so I would love to go a little bit more into that but I think before we get there I still want to know a little bit more about your childhood because I do believe that a lot of people that are able to see those signs and I've spoken to some people some guests in the past who've talked about this it was all about like listening to their gut and having that ability to listen to that gut voice and pay attention to it and I think it's one of those things that just it kind of gets lost on us as we age because we start to hear other voices. We hear the voices of social media, families, people around us that we lose that sense of like, what is my body, my gut telling me? So I kind of want to know what led to that point for you. Like in your childhood, was it something that was encouraged by your parents? Was it discouraged? How did you get to this place?

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Yeah, that's interesting. That's a good question. Looking back on my life, I would definitely say that my dad definitely brought me up on this quote. I still remember it to this day like i'll always remember basically this quote was uh don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see for some reason he would always tell me that quote like don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see so always be skeptical always ask questions and so i think that maybe that played a factor also you know i didn't grow up very religious at all you know my parents didn't push religion on me or push anything on me really they kind of just let me be who i am and and find things on my own um maybe maybe that's why where Right. Did you have a good

SPEAKER_03 6:41

relationship with your parents overall?

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Yeah. You know, there's been some, you know, speed bumps here and there. It's been tough at times. My father was an alcoholic, you know, and so that definitely caused a lot of strain on the family, you know, but he's been sober now and he's a good guy. He means well, but he's had a rough childhood and he had a rough life. And so I see why he is the way that he is. But overall, the relationship is good.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

I know that you had some speed bumps of your own. Can you talk to me a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Yeah, sure. So I think it essentially, it started, you know, like I said, as a kid, I was always very sensitive. I've just always been a very sensitive kid and just life just seemed very loud. I was just very sensitive and just, I always felt just different. And I know in high school, those are like pivotal years as like a teenager, like you want to be cool and you want to fit in. And so freshman year, actually like summer after eighth grade, I started to go down the wrong path. You know, I started smoking weed, started drinking alcohol, started hanging around the party people, started going to parties and raves and all that. Looking back on my life, that's such a pivotal point in time to develop and mature as an adult. I became that because I wanted to be cool and I wanted to fit in. I remember I would always look at the popular kids at school and I would look at them across the campus and I was like, man, I want to be them so bad. I knew that that was a way for me to get in with them And so I just started to do that whole thing. And I think in reality, it was kind of a blessing in disguise, because I think it helped me get that out of my system. You know, I think I have a friend, for example, he didn't start drinking until he was like 21 or something. And I think that he's kind of considered a late bloomer, at least over here in American society. And so he's in that path, and he's in his 30s. So I feel like I kind of got it out of my system by doing it a little earlier. So I don't know, I feel like there's pros and cons to each, if that makes sense. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

And I guess it's one of those things that sort of like maybe is important for that spiritual sort of like awakening in a sense, right? You have to kind of go through some maybe blocking of it, like rejection of it for you to come out the other side, right? It's sort of like a little taster of what life can be, what the temptations can be. And like, do we have it in us? Do you have it in you to be able to like overcome that and see the other side and come out wiser? Because again, like either it's one of those things that takes you down this wrong path and you know kind of kills you or it's one of those things that you know makes you stronger right so at what point did you start really picking up on those signs and following those signs as opposed to trying to block

SPEAKER_00 9:24

it out yeah I think like I said as a kid I always noticed them and I would always pursue different things but I think it wasn't until a couple years ago about three four years ago in my 20s you know I became friends with this guy and my drinking you are who you hang out with you know so my drinking really, and my partying really got out of hand, but there were certain situations that happened in my mid to late twenties. Like I said, I don't know, how do you want to describe it? Was it my guardian angels, my spirit guides? It was just like, I was throwing a lot of different things, you know, pain and suffering and, and setbacks and just all these different things where it really put me in a dark place. And I was just in this dark place where I had all this financial debt. I guess I'll tell the story of what happened. You know, essentially I went to a, it was during the pandemic, actually, you know, there was no there was no events going on. And, and there was these raves that would happen out in the desert, you know, out here in LA, like out in the desert, like that's the only, one of the only spots where you could go and party still when things were on lockdown and, and we were coming out of the lockdown. And so I went, we went to this desert rave and, you know, the plan was that we were going to camp out and stay out there. There was a whole group of us friends that went and that was the plan. Right. And so I got started drinking and I was like, all right, I'm not going to drive. So I'm good to get drunk, you know? And, uh, next thing i know the one guy in the group was like oh like let's leave let's get out of here and everybody wanted to leave and i was like what like i can't drive like i've been drinking you know we we had a plan we were supposed to stay here and camp out and all that and then next thing i know everybody wanted to leave and my friend looked at me and he was like i'm good to drive you know i'll drive your car and i looked at him and i was like are you sure you know he's like yeah i'm good dude i only had a couple or whatever and i let him drive my car and uh i passed out in my passenger seat and we're all i remember man is waking up on the freeway he crashed my car into the center divider on the freeway and the airbags were off I wake up and the airbags are off and I'm like what like what happened he's all frantic and he's apologizing and and I told him just just go just get out of here you know because I didn't want him to get a DUI and so it was a very traumatic experience and it really made me have to hold myself accountable because I know he was driving but no it's like I drove there like I should have been driving and so it really made me change man like after that it just and then it was like a lot of financial debt because I had enough money saved up to get a used car. And then that one broke down on me after a week. Literally, I had that car for a week and I was driving down the street and the wheel fell off and I almost crashed. And it was just like I said, it was just and then after that, another car. And then it was just like over and over. And so like it really put me in a dark place and it really made me have to examine myself and and the decisions that I was making and and how I was behaving as an adult. And it after that, I said, you know what? I can't drink anymore. You Like the cons outweigh the pros with this. You need to grow up, you know what I mean? And so I literally just, I cut out a lot of people out of my life and I just had to be alone, you know? And I started going to therapy actually to kind of like find the root cause of why was I drinking? And that's the thing. A lot of people don't even think about these things. Like people just do it. But I was actually like trying to get to the root core of it, the root cause of it. And so I started to go to therapy and after I saw a couple of hypnotherapists and after I went to therapy, it led me to It led me to an ayahuasca retreat, and that was just like the really pivotal moment of my life story where it was a blessing, man. I'm the person that I was always meant to be, and it really changed my life. That's where my spiritual awakening took off. I found my spirituality, and I just have such a different perspective on life. I know these are kind of dark stories to talk about, but I just want to share this story because I know there's other people out there that can relate, and I want them to know that They're not alone and I want them to know that I came out of that darkness and I found the light and so I want to help people come out of that darkness as well and just tell my story and spread some of these spirituality concepts and that kind of a thing and really drive things forward.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Wow, I love that. There's so many facets to your story. I mean, again, it's one of those, you know, you think you hit rock bottom until you hit a lower place and you're like, holy, this is rock bottom and now I need to start picking up the pieces like I have no other way out of this like I'm at my lowest point financially I'm at my lowest point emotionally I'm at my lowest point physically mentally in every possible way and in a sense you you kind of feel like you've lost yourself oh yeah in the humdrum of like life right it took an accident like this for everything to sort of like turn for you you mentioned that you told your friend to like leave the scene before so that he wouldn't get a DIY so what happened then

SPEAKER_00 14:07

yeah yeah so so that was a very traumatic experience like I told him to take off and we were driving and the airbags are off we had to drop the one girl that was with us and she was in the back seat you know and like she was passed out you know it was just a very traumatic experience so we took off and I was like all right let's just get her home drop her off and then let's go meet up at my friend's house get the car over there for some reason once he dropped we dropped her off the car wouldn't drive anymore it wouldn't steer so we were like it wouldn't steer anymore so then we're like what do we do and we just left it in the street We left the car in the street because it wouldn't drive anymore. And I was like, man, I don't know what to do, you know? And so we just left it. I said, I'd figure it out in the morning, you know? And I just, you know, this is not a proud moment of my life, you know? But yeah, I reported it stolen, you know? And try to, you know, just get out of it, you know? So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:01

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

That's so intense. In a way, I kind of understand because your line of work as well required you to be in parties. I mean, as far as I know, you're a DJ as well. So it can be really, really hard stepping away from that kind of lifestyle when it's your earnings, right? Your, your main income. So how, and I, as far as I know, you still are in this business in the music industry and in like DJing, how do you avoid spiraling into that, into that world again?

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Well, yeah, actually it's not my main income. No, it's, it's a, it's a side project. I have a career, you know, and I work in marketing and But yeah, definitely the DJ is a passion. It's a deep passion as well as the podcast. But yeah, definitely it's gotten a lot difficult being in those environments, you know, around those people and around alcohol and all that. So I just, what I do now is I just get a mocktail, you know, like, and I pretend like I'm, you know, fitting in with everyone else and it works. It really works. And yeah, so that's kind of what I do now.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

Wow, that's amazing. Okay, so like walk me through this therapy that you've started going to I know that you were probably feeling like you were at your lowest point and you were losing yourself and you decided to go into therapy what was some of the revelations that you had when you were there

SPEAKER_00 16:19

yeah like I I didn't do just therapy actually I did hypnotherapy and for the listeners out there I really recommend if you're looking into doing therapy I really recommend hypnotherapy because it really gets to the to the core of the problem we have our conscious mind and our subconscious mind and so therapy I don't want to completely knock there it's good you can talk about your problems and all that but I also feel like it kind of keeps you stuck because you just keep talking about your problems over and over and it just kind of keeps you stuck but with hypnotherapy they actually put you under hypnosis and it opens your subconscious mind and the practitioner kind of whatever it is that you want to work on plants in these new thoughts and these new ideas and then kind of closes it back up and then so the next thing you know you just start figuring out all the answers and you're just living your life with these new the way I see it. The brain is almost like a computer, you know? So it's like, it's almost like getting new software or like a software update. And so then you go about your life with these new, these new updates and this new program and this new software. And, and, uh, yeah, so that's kind of, I would really recommend hypnotherapy.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Yeah. What, what were some of the things that the therapist was, was sort of like planting in your head at the time that you felt were really, really, uh, life

SPEAKER_00 17:33

changing? Yeah. Some of the things that we discussed, I don't know. It was just, you know, I was very sensitive. It all stemmed from me drinking at a young age, 14 years old. I never learned how to socialize without it. I always relied on it. It was like a social lubricant. Yeah. So a lot of my problems just stemmed from doing it at an early age where I didn't allow my brain to fully develop and learn how to navigate this world as a normal functioning adult. I was always relying on that. And so that was a big problem, that for sure. And I think my father being an alcoholic definitely played a role in it. And different things as a kid, you know, and yeah, you know, that kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Yeah. So what then led you to ayahuasca? Like, how did you get introduced to that?

SPEAKER_00 18:19

I think I watch a lot of podcasts. And, you know, Joe Rogan has definitely been a big proponent for it. And I started hearing a lot about it more and more. I think we're all aware of it now. You know, it's a big topic right now. And so like I said, with the synchronicities and the signs, you know, it was like, hypnotherapy really, it kind of gave me like, I feel like a 10% boost in becoming a better version of myself, but I still felt like I could do more and I could be more. And actually, yeah, I mean, in my research, I started to find that trauma is stored in your DNA. It's stored in your body. We have an energetic body. And so I knew that I've always been a believer in energy and frequency. And I knew that I actually gained a lot of weight because in that dark place, I cut all these people out and I wasn't drinking anymore. So I was kind of alone. I was in a dark place. And so I kind of substituted alcohol with eating and I started to eat a little bit too much and I gained quite a little bit of weight. And that as well as just harboring all these negative emotions and resentment, people who wronged me, just all this hurt and pain that I've had in my life, I noticed that it was stuck in my gut. And so a combination of that with finding out that trauma is passed down into your DNA. So my dad passed down his trauma onto me. And so I had all this stuck energy and so that's when I started to look into energy work and I found that ayahuasca was kind of what I was looking for and so I decided to give it a try and it was such a profound experience man because I literally there's this concept in the ayahuasca experience in the retreat in the ceremony they call it purging and so you start purging and you literally they see it as a good thing you start throwing up and I literally was purging and I was throwing up all this toxic energy that was inside of that I was harboring inside of my stomach I literally felt it all coming out after you threw up like it almost felt like you were high like you just felt like oh my god like I released all this negative energy that I've been holding on to like how many people go about their lives and like they have resentment towards their their husband their wife their parents you know family friends you know and they just they just hold on to it and they're just like an angry person and they don't know why it's because they're they're holding on to all that and so in the ayahuasca ceremony I literally I threw up a lot and it was like it was all coming out all that negativity all that that toxicness you know the the trauma of my life the trauma that was passed down onto me it all came out and yeah it was it was just very profound

SPEAKER_03 21:29

wow no that's crazy it's like as you're as you're vomiting as you're throwing up you're actually like feeling of that physical release of like all of the pain that you felt like stuck right and then like sort of seeing the other side seeing the light right after that did you ever have like is it possible to have a bad trip on this like did

SPEAKER_00 21:49

you ever yeah it's definitely So I would say when it comes to psychedelics, plant medicines, I know especially over here in the Western world and other parts of the world, there's such a negative view and a negative stigma on psychedelics. And I want to be a proponent for them. I think they're medicines. They're natural. I think obviously anything in moderation, you want to be responsible for it and you want to have respect for the medicine. But yeah, you could have a bad experience. So they're always talking about your set and your setting. So you want to be in a good mindset and you want to be in a good setting around the right people, the right environment, that kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

Where did you do it? Did you do it

SPEAKER_00 22:32

at the Amazon or was it somewhere else? putumayo colombia and so yeah it was a legitimate shaman so yeah

SPEAKER_03 22:56

that's crazy and was it like a was it like a group sort of session was there quite a few people there

SPEAKER_00 23:00

yeah there was about i would say about 40 people and it was really such a beautiful experience man it was so life-changing like like we were all just doing this this healing work on ourselves and like i said we're holding ourselves accountable like like we all have problems in life and in life there's a certain card you know a certain hand that you're dealt in life and That's just the life that you've been given, and you've got to make the best of it. Some have it easier than others, you know what I mean? But it was just a really beautiful and magical experience because we all were holding ourselves accountable. We were there to fix ourselves and to heal ourselves. And like I said, there's a lot of people who have been through some traumatic things in this life, and that is one way that I've found to really heal yourself of these traumatic energies that we're holding onto. So yeah, it was a very magical, beautiful experience. We were all hugging each other. And I remember there was a... introductory call that was kind of it was on zoom before we all meet to go to the retreat and you're looking at all the people on the zoom call i was looking at some of those people and you could tell like they've been through some stuff in their life you could see it on their face like they're in a dark place and there was one girl specifically i remember looking at her on the zoom i don't know what she went through in her life but she was in a dark place and it was so amazing it was so beautiful like i remember that girl that i saw on that introduction call how in a dark place she was at the end of the retreat looking at her big smile on her face she was she just was a completely different person and it was just it was very beautiful

SPEAKER_03 24:25

wow talk to me about like this step by step as to like how does it work so you start off with a zoom call and then right after that you meet like everyone meets in in the ranch and what happens is there like a sort of a little bit of like a talk as to like what you can expect from this and how does it work

SPEAKER_00 24:42

yeah so every organization will be a little bit different but for this specific organization yeah you know there's a screening process there's an application like You have to apply. Not anybody can just go. You have to apply and answer these certain questions and be honest about where you're at and what experience you have and that kind of a thing. And then they'll either approve you or deny you. If you're on some kind of medications that won't act well with the medicine, or maybe you've been in and out of a psych ward or something, they'll probably reject you for that. But if you're just a person with some regular issues, some regular trauma, and I think another thing that they look for is that maybe you've had a little bit of experience with psychedelics. Like maybe you've done a little bit of, of mushrooms or something because it is a psychedelic kind of experience. And so I think that is something that they were looking for as well, because if you go into this, this is like on the next level, this is like the most intense psychedelic trip journey, you know, experience, whatever you want to call it. So if you go from not having it at all to that, you could have a bad time and you might not understand what is going on. But, but yeah, so for me, I've, I've had a few experiences with like psilocybin mushrooms and, and so I got approved and but yeah and then there's the introduction call and they're kind of everyone's getting to know each other and they're kind of explaining to you what's going to happen over the course of these next three days when you meet at the retreat also there's a dieta there's a diet that you have to participate in leading up to the ceremony I think what was it I'm trying to remember the dieta the diet so for two weeks drink lots of water I think a week leading up to it like you have to cut out meat so like no meat you have to be vegan there's different things like no alcohol, you know, no drugs, no sex. And it's just basically like building up your energy. So you're like in a really positive energy, ready to go into that experience.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Oh, that's really interesting. I did not know that. And I would imagine like that also being sort of like a spiritual sort of, it's bringing you closer to like yourself, right? Like being in touch with yourself, the more you like, it kind of goes back to like even Buddhism, right? In Buddhism, they talk about like removing all materialistic things all temptations and sort of just like really being in tune with yourself like the more you minimalize the the closer you can be to to your own thoughts and your own um understanding so i can see how that makes sense and especially because again the intention of this is not just for entertainment but it's actually for having some cathartic release right

SPEAKER_00 27:10

that's actually a good thing that you brought up there that yeah like so it's the intention behind it so if yeah if you if you apply to go and you're like oh like i just want to experience it i just want to have fun and I'm on a spiritual journey and I just want to that's no you're in it for the wrong reasons like they approve people it's like like for my for example it was like I told him I was like I've been overcoming sobriety you know I've been going to therapy I've been working on myself there was an intention behind it I was explaining about how I felt like I was harboring all these negative emotions in my gut and and how I really wanted to heal myself and the trauma that was passed down to me so those are the kinds of people that they're going to approve like like you said it there needs to be an intention behind it and and And like I said earlier, as well as like, you know, the set and the setting, having a respect for these plant medicines, because there needs to be an intention. If you want to just take them and like, like, like it's a party and it's just for fun. Like, no, that's doing it in the wrong manner. Like there needs to be an intention behind it, the respect for it. And when you have that intention and that respect for it, it's really going to give you what you're looking for. I

SPEAKER_03 28:13

like that. So when you when you get there, you said it's three days over there. Do you go right into it? Is there some sort of like cleansing medicine that you take before you get onto it? Like, how does that work?

SPEAKER_00 28:27

That's a good question. Yeah, there's different things that they do. It was a lot of energetic work. So when we got there, I remember they gave you like a journal. And so you're writing your journal, you know, how you're feeling, you know, what you want to get out of the experience. You know, after that, they were describing of how it's going to be over the course of these three days. And then there was a breathwork session. And that breathwork session was the start of it. That was amazing. I'm not, I'm not sure if you've ever done breath work, but we go throughout our life with, with such a shallow breath. Like how often do we take the time to really, to really breathe, you know? And so I think it was about 30 minutes. We all laid there and it was a guided breath work session. And it was just like in, out, in, out, like really cathartic, really heavy, like letting out sighs and like really getting the energy flowing. And I remember at the end of it, my, my, my arms were vibrating. Like I was literally vibrating. I was like, wow. Like, so there was a breath work session and then, then the shaman came in and you see him and you're like, wow, like there's the shaman, like this guy knows his stuff. And he walks in and he has the brew, he has the medicine, he sets everything up on the altar, you know, they're lighting candles, fire, and sage, like they would burn sage and they were smudging, they would go around the room and kind of blow this sage and the smudge on you to kind of clear your energy.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

Oh, interesting. Are these sages qualified? Do they have some kind of like psychology degree or counseling? Like, what kind of qualifications are required from the shamans?

SPEAKER_00 30:34

Well, the shaman, he's from the Amazon. His lineage, it's been passed down through his lineage. His father, his grandfather, they're all shamans. And so it's an ancient tradition for thousands of years, been passed down in his lineage. And so he's been practicing shamanism. I think, see, how old was I? He was about 40. And I think they said he was doing it since he was 16. So he's got like 24 years of experience. And then there There is licensed medical practitioners on site. The one lady that was really helping out, she was a psychologist and a doctor. And so, yeah, they definitely have quite a handful of qualified, licensed people there to help guide the experience.

SPEAKER_06 31:14

Hi, I'm Rachelle Smith, host of Silence Voices, Stories of MST. MST stands for Military Sexual Trauma. The goal of this podcast and this YouTube channel is to empower survivors of MST Like you. With resources, community, and better access to healing. In this podcast, you'll hear stories of pain and trauma.

SPEAKER_05 31:39

I sat down next to some people and I was like, hey, I'm not trying to cause any drama, but he's really creeping me out. So it makes me angry because my life has been forever changed and his life has flourished.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

It was horrible. It was even worse. I was just so much excluded and just, it wasn't as bad as the assault itself, but the way I was treated and the way I was just ostracized and outcast and I felt like nobody cared about me. I was just so inexpendable.

SPEAKER_06 32:09

As well as stories of triumph and resilience.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

I hope that you've changed and I don't wish you any harm.

SPEAKER_04 32:21

So when you overcome something like this and you're able to make something good out of it, it starts giving you back your identity and your courage and confidence.

SPEAKER_06 32:32

In this podcast, you'll hear survivor stories, get shared resources, and learn healthy coping skills that have helped other survivors get to healing. If I've described you in this video and you're struggling to get your mental health stable, please subscribe to this channel. I would love nothing more than to be a part of your healing journey.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

As you've had this ayahuasca, you've had your first sip of it. Is it almost like instant when this hallucinational experience happens? Or is it one of those things that takes a bit of time? Are you guys having conversations during that period? Are you talking about your life and your traumas? Or are you talking about like healing and revelations? Like what's happening?

SPEAKER_00 33:18

Yeah, that's a good question. So yeah, they call you up to the altar. And so you all get in line and you go up to the altar and the shaman is just pouring the brew in the cup and you go one by one up to him and the crazy the interesting part is he literally looks in your eyes and then he determines how much to pour you like they say the eyes are the window to the soul right like he looks you in your eyes and he can tell like oh this person needs a little bit more this one needs a little bit less and so yeah it was very interesting so it's like you look him in the eyes and then he pours it and then he gives it to you and he he's also doing blessings over it and all that and so and then you take it and it is it's a very it's a what do you call it it's an it's an introspective kind of experience so you take it and it was a dark room with like a fire going and so you go and lay down on your mat and you're just supposed to lay down and just let it do its thing and it's going to be different for each individual whatever each individual needs it's going to meet them where they are and they really they refer to ayahuasca as the grandmother spirit or mama madre ayahuasca you know it's very it has a very feminine energy to it a very feminine intelligence and you meet that energy that entity you know whatever you want to call it in the experience and so for me on the first night I didn't really feel much but that's I purged did a lot of purging you know throwing up and so that was on the first night and then I think on the on the second night was on the second night is when it got more intense funny story on that one actually he was going around the room I was trying to take it easy on the second I was like second night I was gonna take just one cup and so I was gonna I was gonna try and blend in with everybody else and just sit there and blend in I was scared I guess but on the second night he was walking around the room and he stopped at me and he looks at me he He literally looked at me. He's like, you go up to the altar. And I looked at him and I was like, do I have to? And he was like, he was like, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. I was like, all right. So then I got up and it was like, he knew that I needed a second cup. And sure enough, he was right. I took that second cup and that's where I had the breakthrough. Yeah. That's where the, a lot of the healing and revelations I had. And it was so profound, such a profound experience. And, you know, I'll just say, you know, I had an experience of dying, you know, and they, they talk about it it's like they say when you have that feeling surrender and just go to it go towards it and i i just i just let it happen you know and i it put me in a fetal position it put me in a fetal position and i was like oh i'm dying like i'm having an experience of dying but they refer to it as like an ego death and so i had that experience and then it was like my like i said i really see the brain as almost like a computer it was like it shut down and i was like oh like i just died but my consciousness was still there and it was like okay like what's going to happen next it was almost like one of those old tvs you know how the old tv when you turn it off is like it was like it turned off my consciousness or whatever and then it was like and then like rebooted and i was like back and i was like oh my god like thank you i'm back i'm back and then um there was a specific experience on the on the third day when that when that kind of happened and i was laying on the grass and it was like i came back and it was like i knew that i healed myself and i i was uh i came back and i remember just the birds were chirping and i was looking at the the trees and the and the sky and the and the the sun and you know like i said i feel like we go throughout life like we forget we forget to appreciate the simple things and so just the simple things like the birds chirping in the trees and the sun and and the wind and so i remember kind of waking up and i was like the birds were chirping and and it was like i was like i was i was back you know i was like just have such so much more respect for life and so much more appreciation for life

SPEAKER_03 36:53

oh my god that's crazy i feel like that's a one of those things that everyone needs to sort of have. And it's one of those things that like, it's unfortunate because it's such a personal journey. So science has had a very difficult time being able to like prove this, right? But it doesn't mean that it's not true, especially if there's like enough people out there who've been able to like vouch for this kind of stuff or have had similar sort of experiences. I love that you talked about how you sort of like switched off and then switched on. Can you tell me like, were you able to still see yourself in a like in a totally different place like where did you see the universe like what were the things that you were able to see in that

SPEAKER_00 37:33

yeah so like i said it definitely is an introspective journey it was like a closed closed eye you know internal uh journey and so my eyes were closed and i was in another dimension whatever you want to call it like i was there it was intense intense colors and geometrical patterns and i was seeing like i said they refer to her as grandmother madre ayahuasca and i was seeing the spirit the energy and she was moving and she was vibrating And she was, as she was doing that, it was like my body, like my nervous system was like twitching. And it was almost like, like I said, it's like, we're like a computer. It was like, it was reset. It was like a reboot. You know how sometimes you need to reboot your phone or you need to reboot your computer. It was kind of like, it was like that. It was like, she was rebooting me. Like I, I lived 30 years of my life, you know, and I, I haven't had any software updates. I haven't been rebooted. And so it was kind of like that, that experience of being rebooted, I would describe. But yeah, it was definitely, it was internal. it was very intense colors and patterns and it was so profound and and I almost felt like it felt more real than this world feels this world to me kind of feels kind of like an illusion sometimes but that place that I was in like I literally feel like we are a soul living a human experience so I feel like my soul you know was in the the afterlife or whatever you want to call it and it was it was like and then I came back it was very profound that's crazy that is just

SPEAKER_03 38:57

So crazy. Wow. How long is each ayahuasca experience? When you take it one time, does it last for a couple of hours?

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Yeah, it's about a six-hour journey.

SPEAKER_03 39:13

Wow. I can't help but think, though, if somebody was having a bad experience, it would be like a six-hour long, extreme, horrible experience. Were there anyone over there having a bad experience?

SPEAKER_00 39:27

Yeah. You could hear people going through their experiences. I would hear people crying, but they're dealing with their trauma. They're facing it. How many of us go throughout our lives and we don't face our shadow? We don't face the traumatic experiences. We just avoid it and we just numb ourselves with whatever. A lot of these people that were there, they were facing it. You could hear them crying. I remember one girl, she was having such a hard time. a good experience it was funny it was like we were laying there and i could hear her in the in the corner over there and she was like thank you thank you she just kept saying thank you over and over and then i remember the one guy that was he was kind of an older gentleman and he was uh i think he was like 70 years old he was there and he was he was in a row in front of me and he kept when that girl kept saying thank you thank you he was like would you shut up already it was it was like it was ruining his experience she was having a great time but for him it was like he wanted to like go within I was able to like oh that's fine like I can hear her having a good time that's fine like that that's great but for him it was like and then when he said that it was funny like all of us just started laughing because we were all we all heard that it was it was hilarious that's

SPEAKER_03 40:41

crazy oh my god it sounds like such a fun time as well though like I love that you you were like having your your own moment you were in a different place but yet you were still kind of there present available to hear what was happening around you and I guess also the shamans were communicating communicating with you guys at several points and like maybe guiding the way to an extent like if if anyone was having a bad trip or they were having a certain experience that shaman sort of wanted to like re you know redirects is that true

SPEAKER_00 41:10

yeah yeah definitely one of the facilitators uh you know he he was kind of the the shaman's kind of right hand man he would say things like it's okay to feel your feelings like people will be like confused and lost like they'll be like why am i feeling i don't know like what's going on and they'll go to you and maybe they'll just actually they wouldn't even touch you or anything yeah they were they would just be like they would come over to you gently and just it's okay to feel your feelings you know and it just felt just a simple statement like that like just so it just felt so profound and but they were so loving you know it was like we were all there to do the hard spiritual work on ourselves we were like the way I would describe it is like we were spiritual soldiers we came to spiritual battle to like you know heal ourselves and as soon as I threw up like they would come and they were so caring and they'd bring me another bucket they'd bring me some napkins so I was you As soon as I did it, they were ready. It was just a very loving environment, very compassionate environment, allowing people to face their shadows and allowing people to heal themselves. Let's be honest here. No one's going to heal you. You have to heal yourself. You

SPEAKER_03 42:15

have to do that legwork by yourself. No, that's true. Can you tell me, pre-ayahuasca, what was your definition of spirituality and what's your definition of spirituality now? Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 42:28

I mean, pre-Ayahuasca, I was a completely different person. Sure, I saw synchronicities, this and that, and I was open to the idea of God and spirit guides and guardian angels and all that. I was open to the idea. I was always a spiritual kind of a person, but I was kind of lost. To me, some of the concepts seemed kind of advanced and like, oh, they're crazy. They don't know what they're talking about. But after it, it's like, no, to me, spirituality is the truth. This reality is an illusion. There's constantly being lied to in the news and the media and even things like alcohol. Like I said, alcohol, they call it spirit. Liquor, they refer to it as spirits. In America, they do at least. And it's kind of interesting when you think about it. Alcohol, it lowers your vibration and it's so accepted in today's society. I think alcohol is honestly the worst. But yeah, to answer your question for spirituality, now I'm a firm believer in it. To me, it's the truth. Energy is real. You can't deny it. It has to do with a lot of energy work. And yeah, I definitely see spirituality as the truth.

SPEAKER_03 43:36

I really like that. Yeah, no, I agree. I think that like alcohol definitely is an inhibitor. It's one of those things that's a great distraction. And I think a lot of people feel such an intense feeling with alcohol, but in a way that they feel like it's the best way to block their traumas because you can drink your pain away, right? That's a very common thing that people say. But the reality is that we shouldn't be trying to distract ourselves from it. We shouldn't be trying to block it. Rather, we should be listening to those traumas and using that as a sort of like, you know, way to heal and understand ourselves a little bit better because that trauma is a massive part of who we are. And while it's painful and it's difficult sometimes to listen to, it is the only way to redemption or healing. What do you do on a kind of day-to-day basis to sort of be in touch with that experience that you had? I

SPEAKER_00 44:28

exercise and I spend a lot of time in nature meditating. Grounding is so important. I've found that human beings, we're actually very electrical. We're electrical beings. And so you need to go out in nature and ground that energy. Especially like me, I work in marketing. I'm always on the computer or I'm on my phone or I'm watching TV. How many of us live our lives like that? We're always on the computer, on our phone, watching Netflix. You need to go out in nature, man. Connect with nature and go put your bare feet in the ground and and ground that energy and yeah so i i spent a lot of time in nature i do breath work and and meditation and meditation is great i love meditation kind of helps calm the mind if you're ever feeling stressed out or whatever just go go out in nature close your eyes and just kind of just meditate for you know five ten minutes or longer if you need to

SPEAKER_03 45:16

yeah no i like that and when you meditate do you actually get to a different place or like or how often would you i

SPEAKER_00 45:24

think i do honestly struggle with meditation a little bit bit. I feel like as soon as I try, then I start thinking about things. So my mind is always, you know, going to different thoughts or whatever, but I'm getting a little bit better with it. And I think, you know, this might be weird, but I do actually spend a lot of time like kind of like talking to myself or like that's my form of meditation. I'll talk to myself or God or whatever. And I'm just like, you know, expressing gratitude and sending, you know, thank you for this day and sending my love out to, you know, my friends, my family, people out there in the world, you know. So that's that's kind of my form of meditation is just kind of like talking to whatever, whatever God is, you know, I feel like I have that connection now. And so I just kind of, that's my form of meditation.

SPEAKER_03 46:06

Yeah. I love that. I love that. Can you tell me a little bit more about the synchronicities? Can you tell me about maybe like some of the signs that you'd seen around you that made you want to, that made you realize, Oh, this is, this is something rather than it just be, you know, a subliminal whatever around you. Like, how did you know this was a sign? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:25

Yeah. So actually, my podcast is a, comes from a synchronicity. It was like me and my friend, like he would, he calls me every day and we would have these crazy, like far out conversations where I love those kinds of conversations like these, you know, where we get real deep beyond the surface level. And we were having these crazy conversations. And I told him, I was like, dude, do you want to just start? I wanted to start a podcast. I was like, do you want to just like, let's just go on YouTube and, and record ourselves talking and, and put it up on YouTube. And then he's the kind of a guy where he says, oh yeah, I'm down. And then, but he, he doesn't take action. So he was he kept saying like oh yeah i'm down to do it or whatever but uh i had to do it on my own and so i was like it was on my mind like all right i need to do a podcast it's gonna help me get more uh awareness to my music and everything and so anyways this word kept coming up cryptic cryptic and my dj name is tunes from the crypt and it would be on the tv it would be like cryptic and it dude it happened so much it was crazy like like for a couple of weeks there it was cryptic cryptic and it was like what i was like okay okay i'll call my podcast cryptic conversation you know and so you know that's one and then the one with Florida like I'm getting so many about Florida now it's it's it's getting so hard to deny like I have to go to Florida I guess that's my next chapter

SPEAKER_03 47:36

right oh my god that's so crazy I do wonder though like is it is it possible that when something is at the forefront of a conversation that it becomes more noticeable so it's something that's already there within us but we just notice it more as opposed to so for example I don't know, you've, you've just had something very significant, like at work, some children, for example, like I work with little kids. I'm a teacher. And so when I see little kids, I don't know if you if I see a child on the street, or I hear the word child or anything related to that, it does kind of stand out to me more because it is, you know, something that I do for work. Do you think that's possible? Or? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:21

Yeah, I definitely think that's possible. You know, for example, like, you know, when I buy a new car or something, And next thing I know, I start seeing that car on the street. I never noticed that car before. And it's like, oh, I got a new car. And then now I see that car all the time. So I think that that is definitely a possibility. And so it does make me question, you know, like, are these signs from, you know, an external factor or is it an internal, you know, internal knowing? Like now you're more aware of it. But I don't know if I would argue that for me, like my experience, it's been so extreme and so profound. Like some of the things that I come across where it's like, is that really a coincidence or is the universe telling me to pursue that? I do believe that this reality is kind of like a mirror. I don't know. I would argue that sometimes it gets so unusual. It's like, is that really a coincidence? I argue that no, that's a sign and I'm going to pursue it.

SPEAKER_03 49:15

Love it. I love it. Guardian angels. Do you have guardian angels? Do you communicate with guardian angels?

SPEAKER_00 49:23

Yeah, I believe I do. I believe I do and I don't know who they are or what they are but I do feel like I have someone or something that's that's been looking out for me and like I said you know I went through that darkness before that that one car accident I was in another car accident and my car you know and I was sober you know and I was driving in the rain actually I was driving in the rain and my car flipped upside down on the freeway I hydroplanned across the freeway all the lanes and I hit the center divider and I flipped upside down and that was another traumatic experience you know and I I was awake for the whole thing and like I came out of it and I was like, all right, like checking my limbs, my arms, my legs. I was like, all right, I'm alive. Okay. Like now let me get my phone, you know? And that was, that's where my journey started actually. And that was in 2016. That's where I started to think, you know what, for me to have such an intense car accident like that. And for me, I came out completely unscathed. I came out completely normal. And that's where I started to think, okay, I think maybe someone or something's looking out for me. Like I have, I have a mission here. I have a purpose here that I need to fulfill, you know, someone or something's looking out for me

SPEAKER_03 50:27

wow a lot of people who have these kind of like spiritual journeys and awakenings and experiences also talk about music and i know you were talking about that and like just art in general be it writing be it music be it painting do you think that that's an important part of like a spiritual journey

SPEAKER_00 50:48

i don't know if it's an important part but i do think artistic people are more i don't know what is it left brain right brain you know artistic people you know whether it's you know art music writing whatever that use that side of the brain I forget which side if it's left or right but I think maybe those artsy kind of people are a little more open and a little more more aware to the to these things I always see it as kind of like science and spirituality like I would say maybe you know these artsy people are they lean more towards that side of the brain and they're they're more aware of these things

SPEAKER_03 51:21

I say this because you were very much into the music field so I just wonder whether you've had any sort of personal experiences with music and spirituality or have they ever kind of like merged at any point in your journey?

SPEAKER_00 51:33

That's actually kind of where I'm at now along my journey, you know, and I really want to tie in spirituality and music, tie it in together. You know, I'm leaving little clues and little symbolism and stuff in my songs and stuff. And I want people to pursue spirituality, you know, their own version of it if they feel called to it. For example, you know, like the one song I just put out is called Love Portal and And when I put the song out, I'll leave like a little message when they're listening to the song. Next thing I know, they read that. Or, you know, I have another song coming out called Paradise. And then a couple of months ago, I released a song called Intuitive Listening. So, you know, to kind of help people to listen to their intuition, you know. And so that's kind of where I'm at. I'm trying to tie in spirituality and music together.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

That's so crazy. And would you say that like your journey of like music has also evolved because of this or with this?

SPEAKER_00 52:23

Oh, yeah, definitely. Especially after the ayahuasca experience like I said I'm constantly growing and involving I feel like it's a new version of me every month and I'm definitely getting a lot of creative ideas on different things that I want to do I don't really want to talk about it right now actually because if someone I've been getting a lot of people actually in the music scene kind of copying my style I'm going to kind of keep some things to myself and just kind of do it because yeah I don't want I don't want anybody to steal my ideas

SPEAKER_03 52:48

yeah for sure okay I'm going to wrap this interview up now with just the last few questions for someone who is looking to open themselves up to having a spiritual awakening. I know you talked a little bit about ayahuasca. What are some of the things that we can do to sort of like want to invite synchronicities into our lives? Because I do think that that's a really, really important part of the journey. Yeah, how can we listen to those or notice those synchronicities? What are the things that we can do to sort of get closer to our spiritual selves?

SPEAKER_00 53:17

Yeah, so like I said, you know, I put that song out called Intuitive Listening. We all have an intuition, whatever you want to call it, your intuition, your gut instinct. Listen to that, man. it's there to protect you and I think we're evolving as a species but you know back in the day back in the time that gut instinct protected you from harm you know so I think you know listen to that gut instinct you listen to your intuition you know what feels right don't always go with the crowd you know just just because the crowd thinks one way doesn't mean they're right you know there's this concept of group think I think you know be your own individual listen to your intuition connect with nature ask God or the universe for signs ask for it they'll give it to you you know so those are some ways I would say.

SPEAKER_03 53:56

Yeah, I love that. That's really awesome. Final plugins. Tell us a little bit about your podcast. I would love our listeners to like a tune in. I'll be putting it into my description as well. But tell us a little bit about it.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

Yeah, so like I said, my DJ name is tunes from the crypt. So my podcast is called cryptic conversations. It's definitely got a kind of a blend of spirituality, conspiracy theories, UFO encounters, paranormal, that kind of a thing. But I'm definitely leaning towards spirituality at the moment so like I said I just want to help people learn about these different spirituality concepts I think there's a renaissance happening right now and you know there's a lot of people having these awakenings and especially after the pandemic and stuff I think people are tired of like the old way of things and they're starting to question a little bit more and so that's kind of the goal of the podcast is to talk about some of these concepts that used to be kind of written off as crazy you know that's kind of the goal of the podcast is just open up people to spirituality

SPEAKER_03 54:55

amazing daniel thank you so much for being on this podcast and sharing your journey and this whole spiritual conversation it's been so enlightening

SPEAKER_00 55:03

thank you so much for having me and thank you for the work that you're doing it's been a pleasure

SPEAKER_03 55:13

Thank you for showing us we're human. Also, a thank you to our team who worked so hard behind the scenes to make it happen.

SPEAKER_04 55:35

The

SPEAKER_03 55:37

show would be nothing without you. I'm Jenica, host and writer of the show, and you're listening to Multispective.

UNKNOWN 55:46

Multispective