048 From Homeless to Hollywood: A Tale of Darius Wallace

Actor and motivational speaker Darius Wallace shares his success story of unwavering resilience and triumph. From street life, homelessness, grief and depression, he worked his way up in theater, playing roles like Malcolm X, and starring in Hollywood TV shows Law and Order and Nashville, and movies like Nothing but the Truth. He has also given inspirational speeches with Ted X.   Listen in on how Darius' unwavering determination and talent propelled him to stardom against all odds. We delve into the challenges he faced, the dreams he pursued, and the extraordinary path that led him to success. This episode is filled with inspiration and uplifting messaging by his captivating tale of perseverance and hope.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What story are you telling yourself? Are you telling yourself you're not good enough? You know, the Buddha says to be desireless. Does it mean to walk around with no desires? No, it means achieve your desires.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Hi, Jenica here from Multispective, and I'm here to share with you a new episode. I interviewed Darius Wallace, an actor, a director, a motivational speaker, and a solo performer. Some of the movies that he had done include Nashville, Law and Order. He's also participated in a lot of the Michigan Shakespeare Festival shows and several different roles all around the world. So we're super excited to have him here. And his story is another one that's really interesting. He comes from poverty, where he was almost tempted into joining and instead he decided to take out a lot of his pain onto something healthier he talks about being homeless and how he managed to overcome that again through having a certain willpower and mindset so stay tuned listen to the end let us know what you think in the comment below and can't wait to hear from you guys Darius, welcome to Multispective. I am so excited to have you on this podcast with me. Oh,

SPEAKER_00 1:17

thank you. I'm glad to be here. Very glad to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

I honestly feel so honored. This is like one of my first sort of celebrity feature and, you know, so much to share on air. And, you know, I'm also really, really excited to share your own personal journey and sort of like what inspired you to get into all of this. So let's just begin. And can you maybe start off by telling us a you from and uh and all that

SPEAKER_00 1:43

sure sure sure well i'm originally flint michigan and i don't know if people have heard of flint michigan but uh it's probably probably have heard of flint because of the water crisis uh but but flint was a town that um i still very proud of and uh it's where i got got my beginnings of my acting journey um and so basically i was i've been this if you saw me i'm like 5 11 190 pounds i wasn't i didn't weigh this much but I've been this tall since I was 13.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

And I practiced martial arts, got kind of involved with the, you know, more street life kind of thing as a kid because I practiced martial arts and, you know, I was a prime target for gang life. But then I was, there was an intervention with the middle school vice principal who gave me an ultimatum. You know, you can either keep going this route, go to jail, juvenile, or I can tell you daddy, or you can do you love to do, which is just theater. And so let me be clear. You can send me to juvenile. You can send me to jail. Just don't tell my dad. So fortunately, I chose to go around the theater. I had some guidance from my high school theater teacher, which led me to a place eventually called Interlochen Arts Academy, which is a high school of performing arts where you live there like a college. So I went there, and then I went to Purchase in New York, and I had my left Purchase, and I did my first professional action job as Taliban in The Tempest. Then I started to get involved in doing one-person shows, starting with the Malcolm X, very powerful leader back in the 60s, and then it transmitted to Martin Luther King, Dr. Martin Luther King, and now for years I've been doing Frederick Douglass' The Great Abolition and that's Frederick Douglass. I'm on tour actually right now.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Wow, look at you.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

And my new one-person show called My Words and My Sword. And then I've done television, Law and Orders, you know, Hallmark Channel. You know, all the ABC, Nashville. Been in several movies and a lot of independent movies. There's an independent movie I'm starring in called Damaged Goods. It's in post-production right now.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

And then another movie I'm and a festival circuit called Queen Rising. These are two movies that I'm very, very proud of. And so that kind of gives you a little bit of where I'm from, a little bit about myself.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Straight up to the successes. No, I love it. This is so awesome. I want to know, we'll start off from back where you started and you were talking about how that ultimatum came to you because you were at a place where you could have really gone down a very different kind of dangerous route. And you said that you were... sort of getting asked by a lot of people out on the streets to like join them. What, like you were, were you tempted in it? Did you actually like dabble in that sort of area as well, working down?

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Oh, I did. Oh yeah. Oh, I did. Yeah. It really was less, it was one particular gang. This was back in that, now I'm going to age myself.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

No,

SPEAKER_00 5:10

but actually- Back in the 80s is when the crack epidemic hit. And Flint, Michigan, which was a thriving town in the 70s, fell victim to that. And so because of that, a lot of new gangs started to pop up to move these products or what have you. Now, as a kid, we didn't know anything. We didn't know what was going on. Only looking back do we know what was going on. But Flint became very... And I joined really for protection. You know, I was at the elementary school waiting for the bus to go to school. And a friend of mine was like, you know, there were these kids that were getting jumped and beaten up on a regular basis throughout the city. And the friend was like, hey, you're on the list. I'm like, what list?

SPEAKER_02 6:01

What are we talking about here?

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Yeah, you're on the list of getting jumped. I'm like, why am I on the list?

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Yeah. Was it just by association sort of thing? No,

SPEAKER_00 6:12

it was, it was just, I think he said that, you know, I was, I was, I was pretty handsome dude in those days. And so I think he said, because, because the girls liked me. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Um, and so I, he said, on the way, I'll just join this game called the top dogs. And I was like, I'm with it. I don't want to get job. Anyway. So I started to go down that track and find myself in very dangerous situations that 10 years ago. Um, And life became very dark during those times. But here's the beautiful thing, though. Here's the beautiful thing. When I made a decision to get into acting, that following year, mind you, I was afraid to speak in front of people. And it took my high school theater teacher to help me come out of my shell. And I ended up getting a lead role in the play, ninth grade. And the audience was the top dogs. They were there at the performance. So when I was walking home, I saw I saw him pull up. I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Boys in the Hood, but it was kind of like that deal, and the window slowed and rolled down. He told me to get in the car, and I got in the car, and he was driving, and he was like, you know, hey, saw you in that play. You're really talented, proud of you. We don't want you to go this route. And they stopped the car, let me out. That was the end of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

One of those moments.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

So what's beautiful is,

SPEAKER_01 7:34

yeah,

SPEAKER_00 7:35

what's beautiful is, you know, the street was pulling me in, but when they saw the light in me, three encouraged me to go the way that they felt I should go, which to me was, when I look back on that, it was a very, very beautiful moment.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Right. No, that's crazy. That's amazing. Can you talk to me about your parents at the time? How were you raised? Would you say they were overall quite present and quite attentive? And do they sort of like train you up with inspiration? What was it like with them?

SPEAKER_00 8:08

Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I grew up in a house hold of religious parents, but two different religions. My mother was Christian, belonged to the denomination called Church of God and Christ, and my father was Muslim. Wow, okay. You belong to the Nation of Islam, yeah. So I had two different voices, but they were married and in love, and with what they knew, they did the best to raise

SPEAKER_02 8:34

me.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

So my father, he really, you know, he, growing up in the 50s and 60s, in the South, you know, he dealt with the struggles of racism in the South, in Memphis, Tennessee. And so he didn't have a father. So he reached from a variety of different places to help raise us as a father. And so, yes, he had the religion. But the other thing that he had was he was into inspirational materials. So at a very young age, I was exposed to a lot of inspirational materials, a lot of inspirational thoughts. And I watched my father transform his life because And so throughout my life, my father and my mother have been an inspiration to me. And I'm confident that the reason why I'm so drawn to inspiration and desiring to inspire others is because of my father

SPEAKER_01 9:29

in particular. or they didn't have the kind of stable household with parents that were able to inspire them quite the way. And so they ended up leading in that path. And yeah. Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 9:52

I think it's part of that. I think it's partly that. I think it's partly that. What you'll find is a lot of people that you would suspect, they have both parents in the home, which is odd. Now you have other situations where that wasn't the case, single parent homes. You also have very successful people that we're in single parent. So I think it's that, but I think it's also the systemic racism too, though. I think it's the way things are set up also that kind of, you know, it's like a mousetrap or like, what do you call it? When you're navigating a maze, yeah. I think that it's kind of that situation. But I will say this, though, because of my father's involvement in getting me understanding the power that's within me, even with what out there that challenges you whether it's the streets the weirdness of politics or you know all the different elements that's out there there's something within me there's something within you that can overcome that so that was the thing I think that helped me not just then but now

SPEAKER_01 10:59

yeah 100% yeah

SPEAKER_00 11:01

not just then but now yeah yeah right now yeah right here right now so that's that's

SPEAKER_01 11:06

what that is yeah and it's also like that beauty of having like your teacher in your corner, having people that sort of believed in you, maybe even at the times where you didn't believe in yourself, you didn't have that sort of self-faith. Someone's there to be like, we see something else in you. We see a spark in you and we're going to try to ignite that.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

I've had that all throughout my life. You know, I think that really, even what this particular gang saw in me was talent at first for them. But then they saw talent in me for something more. But then, you know, my high school theater teacher, you know, here's the reality. I was flunking. I was flunking my acting class in eighth grade. And Mrs. O'Neill, my middle school theater teacher, wanted to help me out. And so she put me in a play. She gave me one line that I had a lot of trouble saying. And so she worked with me and worked with me. And I would always forget it and get nervous So the day of the performance, night of the performance, all I remember I was under this light and I heard these Shakespeare. So I heard these people saying these weird lines. And I'm just standing there waiting for my cue. And when my cue came, suddenly I just said it. And my voice just lit up the whole building. So afterwards, the high school theater teacher came, Mr. Jennings came. And he saw, he said, you have talent, you have, you know, voice she'd be a part of the high school theater uh deal so but to your point he saw something in me i didn't see in

SPEAKER_02 12:48

myself

SPEAKER_00 12:49

you know he believed in me until i could believe in

SPEAKER_01 12:52

myself

SPEAKER_00 12:52

and i've had that throughout my

SPEAKER_01 12:54

life right yeah no that's so awesome that's amazing and i can hear that as well like you've got that that sort of like power in your voice um you've got that sort of the the layers to it you've got the the clarity in your speech as well i wonder whether that's something that's that you've had to sort of like perfect over time. Oh, yeah. Talk to me about that.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember back during that time, you know, the issue was I had a really hard Michigan urban accent. So you couldn't understand me unless you were from my neighborhood. You also couldn't hear me. You know what I mean? And so I got to the point where my voice came out. But I remember I got past in another play where I had the lead role from a guest director who I eventually worked with again later in my life. And she said to Mr. Jennings, she was like, the kid is great, but I can't understand what he's saying. He has a great presence, a great voice, but I have no idea what he's saying. So Mr. Jennings really went hard on me about doing articulation exercises and voice exercises. But I ran into her her again. Same director. She began to become a teacher at Interlochen Arts

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Academy.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

So she introduced me to two techniques, Kristen Linkletter's vocal technique and Edith Skinner's diction technique, which then followed me into college in New York. And so those techniques, of course, I've been working with for years now. So now I sound like a

SPEAKER_02 14:33

Shakespearean

SPEAKER_00 14:36

actor. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 14:37

exactly. That's really cool. Cool. And I feel like that that's something that can take you in so many directions in different kinds of careers. Like if you wanted to get into like marketing, sales, you know, any kind of like a cold calling jobs or really anything. Because, you know, that's something that is so close to the concept of like confidence. You know, it shows such personality. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

Oh, yeah. Yeah. As a matter of fact, you know, my dialect or speech goes back to purchase. you always say, good speech is money in your pocket.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

That's true. 100%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Yeah. So, yeah. So, you know, it does. And I coach people on this, too. I coach TEDx speakers and coach entrepreneurs because I found that they, what I struggle with as a teenager is what they're struggling with right now in their profession. Right. So, I help with that to, you know, build

SPEAKER_01 15:35

confidence. So, you did a lot of theater back at home. What inspired you or made you decide to move to New York and try to pursue this TV show biz on a larger scale?

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Yeah, I've moved all over the place. But I left Flint because I wanted to be in a bigger market to do what I do. Of course, LA and New York, especially at that time, those were the places where you had to go. Now we live in an age, especially after COVID A lot of our auditions are like this.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Interesting. Yeah, they're video. Yeah, they're video. So you can be anywhere around the country and audition. I have an agent in LA and I have an agent in New York, but I live in Atlanta.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

And so I'm going to New York next week to do a performance. And then I'm going to Los Angeles, but I'm based in Georgia now because there's a lot of film and television happening here. And so, you know, it's one of those things where, you know, if you want to see a giraffe, you can use your imagination all day long in Idaho. But the chances of you seeing a giraffe in Idaho without going to the zoo

SPEAKER_01 17:01

next to

SPEAKER_00 17:01

nothing, you got to go to Africa to see a giraffe.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

If

SPEAKER_00 17:06

you really want to see the giraffe, you got to go to Africa. So I think you've got to go to, you should, wherever markets you're in, work that market first.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

No

SPEAKER_00 17:16

matter where you are, work that market first. Then, when you become, when you do well in that market, then think about moving to the bigger markets where you can do more work. So I moved to the bigger markets to do more work, but I had to do more in Flint at first. And then I had to do more in, I lived in Memphis for a while too.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Right. Talk to me about those personal challenges and tribulations you were experiencing at that time

SPEAKER_00 17:44

alright well alright Well, you know, this is probably one of the most competitive sessions on the planet. And also, too, you're dealing with your, you know, this is my instrument. So you're dealing with rejection all the time. I think as a young actor, I wasn't quite ready for the realities of the industry. And during that period of time, I lost my mother to breast cancer, which really turned my world upside down. And emotionally, psychologically, I was As a matter of fact, the day that my mother passed, transitioned, was the day I had a meeting ahead of Peter Golden, the head of NBC casting. And I went to the audition. He was really remorseful of what happened to my mother. He was surprised that I was still willing to come. And he was like, you're going to work. You're going to work as an actor. He called up a bunch of casting directors. When I went to the funeral, but I came back to Los Angeles, I wasn't the same. I just wasn't the same person. My mother Seeing my mother in a casket just kind of took the soul out of me. And I went through a massive depression and really found it very difficult to do anything and began to lose things. And fortunately, a friend of mine had a theater festival happening in New York. So they asked me to come out there. So that gave me a little work for a period of time. But then it just seemed like psychologically, I was just going down, down, down. So eventually, I ended up, Jenica, I'm pronouncing your name right. That's correct. I ended up homeless in New York. Yeah, in New York City for a while. And I just remember it was the twilight zone. I just couldn't believe that I had fallen so low to where the only dream I had was a shopping cart. Can I find a shopping cart today so I can give me some cans, so I can give me some money? So my dream was like, Went that far, but still had an ability to dream, but it was just my world and my imagination. Everything just kind of went down. But I remembered my father saying something to me as a little boy. All things lost can be regained, and we, like the divine, can say be, and it is. And that sparked life in me. And I started to the journey upward and slowly but surely found ways to sneak in bookstores. Now, back in those days, you couldn't... You had to buy the book to read it. You had to buy it to read it. You couldn't just be, you know, sitting back and just reading a book that you hadn't bought yet. But I was thinking bookstores because I had money to buy. I would do that. I would read the books, inspirational books. And I kept feeding myself the content that was inspiring me. And through the course of time, I found myself waking up in the middle of the night, you know, from a dream reciting Shakespeare, like more than once. I would just wake up and I'm just reciting Shakespeare. And eventually I ended up auditioning for a professional theater company and I got into it. And it was back in 2000. And since then, you know, I've been rolling again as an actor. But, you know, even as things have been, have had success, you're still dealing with many auditions and not getting the part. You know, you're still dealing with the anxiety of, you know, am I still good? Do I still have it? Do I still have the technique? least I'm still working right. Am I, you know, resting on my laurels? Um, and then there's so many other dynamics that you're not in control of as an

SPEAKER_02 22:09

actor,

SPEAKER_00 22:10

but that's not going to change. But what I am in control of is what I focus on now.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yeah. I love that. It reminds me of like a verse, I think in the Bible where they, where they, where it says something like, give me the, give me the strength to accept the things that I cannot give me the power to change the things I can and give me the, the wisdom to, um, Tell the difference. And it's

SPEAKER_00 22:33

so

SPEAKER_01 22:45

true. And it can be such a downer at times. But I love that you turned this adversity into something to like to power you. You used it as an opportunity to be like, OK, what can I do now? I'm at my lowest. I've got nothing to lose right now. You know, it's only there's only one way, which is up.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's it's there's two faculties. There's memory and your imagination. And if you use memory to keep looking back at your past, you'll paralyze yourself, you know, turn into a pillar of salt, as it were, because you're constantly looking back. Your imagination is about your future. But if you're using your imagination, fear of what might happen.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

Now,

SPEAKER_00 23:51

you know, you're living in fear instead of in

SPEAKER_02 23:55

faith.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

But you can use your memory to remember your future of who you want to be, do, and have through your imagination. And that gives you the energy right now in the present to take action because you're using your memory to see your future. Time is relative. You can use your memory to see your future.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

I really like that. That's so cool. I don't think I've ever heard it in quite those words, but I feel like that sort of ticked something in me. It's just like, yeah, that's so true. In a way, it's like, in a way Also, it leads me to think that, you know, the number of times I have overcome or we have overcome adversity and knowing that we have done it in the past is kind of like, well, you know, I can I can do it again, you know, and using that again to power you. But talk to me a little bit about like rejection. How did you take it at the beginning and how did you learn to take it?

SPEAKER_00 24:53

Oh, I didn't take it well at all. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. Oh, I don't like to be rejected for nothing. I handled it very poorly. How so? Well, you can handle it through many different ways. People handle it through, you know, a lot of times through addictions. You know, mine was at the time alcohol. Alcohol was the thing that I used to help me deal with rejection or coping, right? And, you know, rejection is painful because you feel a sense of, you lose your self-worth if you're handling rejection the way that I handle rejection. We handle it through drinking, through food sometimes, through anything that takes our mind off, through sex, where we indulge to gain some kind of self-worth, some kind of acceptance. And a lot of times, the rejection that we think that we're getting fiction. It's made up in our mind, stories we've told ourselves. When they weren't rejecting, they're like, I really like your work. You're just not right for this part. Or I really like you. You're a great person, but you're not right for me right now. I like you. You're very talented, but you're overqualified for the job. You really shouldn't be applying for washing dishes. You're an engineer. You know what I'm saying? And so we think we're being rejected in a way that's It's like, it's, you know, white or black, two extremes, either it's good or not, and either we succeed or fail. And so handling rejection that way is not the healthiest way to handle it. So then we begin to do, you know, self-destructive. But guess what? Rejection sometimes is God's protection. True. I didn't come up with that. I can't remember the woman's name, but this billionaireist who was, who, because of the way she looks, was rejected by this major investor to sell these beauty products because of how she looked. So she didn't listen to him. She looked at it like, okay, well, some big corporation bought her products and now she's a billionaire. But if she hadn't went with that guy, he would have owned her stuff. Probably 50 or 60% of it. She owns the whole thing. So rejection sometimes is God's protection. And also too, it's the numbers game some will some won't who cares next

SPEAKER_01 27:40

I love that

SPEAKER_00 27:41

all right I love that yeah so you know you what story are you telling yourself um are you telling yourself you're not good enough am I telling myself I'm am I telling myself I'm too black am I telling myself you know I am too large am I telling myself that I'm I'm bald and nobody will cast me because I'm bald. You know what I mean? Am I telling myself that nobody loves my voice, which I thought at one time? You know, am I telling myself these negative stories that's reinforcing what I'm drawing to myself, right? People pick up on that. Or can I reverse it? Can I reverse the story? People love my voice. People love my bald head. Flip, flip,

SPEAKER_01 28:30

flip.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

You know, people love my brown chocolates. You know, people love when I show up in the room. And the truth is, is not everybody loves you all the time. But that's not your problem. That's true. You know, especially if you're in a mindset of working on yourself. And so what I'd like to encourage people is one, know that rejection sometimes is God's protection. And also to a lot of times the rejection we think we're getting or not to what we're telling ourselves. Most importantly, it's how you feel about yourself is the most important. You're willing Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 29:05

really, really good answer there. What was that one moment or gig or show that you did that was a game changer

SPEAKER_00 29:13

for you? Stephanie Shine, who is now the wife of Dan McCleary, the artistic director of Tennessee Shakespeare. I was in Romeo and Juliet playing the friar, Friar Lawrence. And I just thought I was just sucking all over the place. Man, I was like, these people are never going to pass me. So we got to tech rehearsal somewhere in there. Stephanie sat me down and she said, really love you. Something just opened up in me. She's not one to give compliments. She looked me dead and she has these big, beautiful Irish eyes, you know, just looking like lasers. She says, I really love your work. And it was like something just clicked in me. Sometimes people have to transmit, you know, a type of Buddhism called Chan, Chan Buddhism. Chan Buddhism is about transmission of the teachings without saying much. So she didn't say much. She just said, I really love your work. And it transmitted this confidence in me as a professional actor now. From that moment on, it's been an upward movement toward more confidence as an actor. Of course, you got to do the work, you got to practice, you got, you know, that was the game changing moment for me.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

Oh, my God, that is so cool. No, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Now

SPEAKER_01 31:01

I'm gonna turn it around and be like what was the toughest part what was a a moment that was game changer but in the downward spiral that was like oh no did you ever have like a chaotic like um show uh uh performance yeah yeah

SPEAKER_00 31:20

yeah yeah um i had this there's

SPEAKER_02 31:26

many

SPEAKER_00 31:26

of those um i think probably the this is two major ones but i'll just mention the one because it's still related to Tennessee Shakespeare. This was a few years before that moment with Stephanie. I was cast in Midsummer Night's Dream where I played, I can't remember the character's name, Joyner. I can't think of his name right now. Well, I was probably miscast

SPEAKER_02 31:52

on

SPEAKER_00 31:53

that one. I doubled for another role and man, I'll tell you what, it just wasn't working out. It's It just wasn't working out. It was one of the toughest experiences of my life. And then it was confirmed with the review. Oh, the review that everybody sees, right? Everybody sees the review, whether they love you. You can do a horrible job, but the review says you did well. Well, great. Everybody saw that. It doesn't matter how horrible I was. But this one was, I didn't do so well. And the review let everybody know it.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

Right. And

SPEAKER_00 32:33

this is the same period, the same period where I was like on the verge of hitting bottom with alcohol. And it was just a mess. I

SPEAKER_01 32:43

can, I can only.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

So the review.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Yeah, I imagine like what that must have

SPEAKER_00 32:47

been. Oh God, it was, it was just, but you know what it did though? It made me sit back, really made me sit back. Two things happened simultaneously. I ended up getting into a 12 step program that changed my life way back in 2009. and the realization that I just wanted to be better as an actor. And I actually had coffee with the reviewer.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 33:14

I was like, man, what did you see? What exactly did you see? And he told me, you know, and once again, rejection is not always the rejection that you think. He said, man, I love your work. I'm a fan of yours. I just think you were miscast. I really just think you, I don't know why they didn't have you in a different role. You know what I mean? It was that kind of a thing. So, but this is what happened, though. So that happened. I wanted to get better. I started to work getting better. Then I had the moment with Stephanie several years later. I kept getting better, kept working, as I'm always trying to get better at working. Well, guess what? Several years after Stephanie, I had an audition for the Summer Nightstream again, and I got the leading role. That's Oberon.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Yeah, it's Oberon. And I got a great review.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

Off of that. So I think that that was probably one of my hardest moments. But fortunately, I was able to, I can't say this for other, you know, hard moments, but this one was able to take it, embrace it, not deny it, see what I can do to change

SPEAKER_01 34:17

it. Love that. Talk to me about when and where and how and why you chose to transition from theater to TV shows and like Hollywood. It's not that you've transitioned completely. out of it but decided to step into the TV show or the TV biz

SPEAKER_00 34:36

I've always wanted to do I think I really got into it to do TV okay you know what I mean theater was what was accessible and I love theater for what theater is able to do so I still love the live still do theater live performing mainly my one person shows you know do one person show on Frederick

SPEAKER_02 34:55

Douglass

SPEAKER_00 34:56

I think I already said that earlier show but I just I've always wanted to do it that's just plain and You know, um, and, uh, so, you know, I started, I got with an agency and started to do auditions and, um, you know, I've become a lot more intentional about how to act with a camera different, you know, than acting on stage. So that, that, and then doing it, just realizing like right now, even this light right here shining on me gives me energy. You know what I mean? It's like, I love the camera lights and, you know, the movement of people all around you and the chords. Yeah. And then also getting into character. And then, you know, there's a beauty

SPEAKER_01 36:18

to film acting and television acting.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Well, you know, stage, the audience is seeing your whole body and this continuity because you're doing it from beginning to end nonstop. So once you're in it, you know, you just focus and you're going. And because a lot of theaters are big, not all theaters, but you got to play to whoever's in the back of the house. So your emotions and your everything has to resonate with the people way in the back. Movies and television is not like that.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

Not

SPEAKER_00 36:53

like that. Kind of like right now, but it is, you know, there's if I if I move this way now, I I'm out of frame. Yeah. I can't just move the way I want. So I have to be still, you know, and then I have to, you know, kind of do what I'm doing right now, which is act with my eyes

SPEAKER_02 37:09

because

SPEAKER_00 37:09

this is predominantly, you know, what you're seeing, you know what I mean? And I have to be still because the light is right here. The camera has me in focus. You know what I mean? And if I move, so it's a matter of learning how to act in the frame. And then also to the, Camera is capturing your eyes. So it's a lot of what's happening on the inside of you comes down to film. And film is a visual medium. It's not so much just about the words. It's about the intent and what's happening under the words in film, you know, on television. This is a part of

SPEAKER_01 37:46

it. Yeah, no, for sure. Because it's really up close. Like your eyes have to tell that story. And it's got to have that depth to it. The words in itself is not going to... It's not going to just cut it, right? And on stage, there are people quite far away from you. So your facial expressions, while important, it's the whole body. Now I see what you mean. That's really interesting.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

Yes. Now I think that there's a place where they meet, you know. I think you still have to be very much in touch with your body, even for film. And then, of course, depending on the shot, right? So right now, this is kind of like a, not quite a close-up, but head-shoulder shot. But you have that why, that why. So when that master is there, you're back. Now, you're not necessarily back to theater, but you're you're having to move to do more to reach, you know, because of the because of the master of the cameras for the back, the audience sees your whole body. So, you know, so there's some of that.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

What was some of the hardest roles you've had to play the most toughest scenes you've had to do? Oh,

SPEAKER_00 38:50

wow. That's a huge one. Or

SPEAKER_01 38:55

just memorable ones, ones that really stand out to you.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

Well, I think probably the hardest role, but I have a lot, like a whole bunch of stuff going through my head.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Take your time.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

Probably the hardest or most rewarding role, Mark Anthony, Julius Caesar. Because Mark Anthony has this four page monologue. That's a very famous monologue. And there's a lot of hard work to do that. And that doubles for another character that I can't think of the name right now. But the shifting characters and sometimes the costume changes in the midst of the dynamics of what Julius Caesar and what's happening in the moment, I would say that probably was the most challenging, but most rewarding role was Mark Anthony in Julius Caesar.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Oh, I mean, you've really done some awesome, huge work out there. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Yeah, I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm so thankful to have played some of the roles that I've played. And I did my first leading role in a film called Damaged Goods. It's not out yet. It's comes out this year, I believe it's in post right now. And so that was challenging, but I think Mark Anthony and Julius Caesar probably was my most challenging acting role.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Yeah. I know that you are also a sort of behind the scenes director, producer. What inspired you to transition into that role? Do you feel, there are also actually a couple of actors on out there that have actually dabbled into that. I'm curious to know, like, why so?

SPEAKER_00 40:33

Well, I just wanted to work.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

I

SPEAKER_00 40:37

just wanted to work as an actor. You know, my whole reason for doing my solo performing, you know, at the beginning was I just wanted to work. You know, I got, this is back when I was young, I got kicked out of the house by my dad. I had to find my own place and I got my first play and then it ended and I was going to have to go back to being a security guard. So I wanted to work

SPEAKER_02 41:00

so

SPEAKER_00 41:01

I wrote a one person show and that kept me working well it was the same with doing a movie you know I wanted to be in movies you know and so I wanted to direct a movie and so that I could be in a movie okay

SPEAKER_02 41:17

nice

SPEAKER_00 41:18

and simple yeah but the thing is though for both when I wanted to work as an actor my first one person show was Malcolm X and And it became bigger than me wanting to work as an actor at that point because of what Malcolm X, who he was and what he represented and the impact the show was having on the

SPEAKER_02 41:38

people.

SPEAKER_00 41:39

It was the same with film becoming a director. Once I got in it and the subject matter, it was called 100 Lives, all about a school teacher whose four-year-old daughter is the 100th homicide victim and the impact on the city and then the impact on other actors who also wanted to work. So now it was big. Hmm. Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

Hmm. a place of, you know, wanting to make a difference. And that seemed to be a path that you took even in your career. But also, do you feel like being behind the scenes directing helped you to see what it means to be an actor more and better too?

SPEAKER_00 42:46

Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Both in directing and in writing a screenplay. It helps out so much. I would highly recommend for an actor to direct a short, you know, or to to write a short screenplay, or a screenplay directed feature film, because it gave me an understanding of what the needs of the director are, or what the needs of the casting person is, what the needs of the script is. And so understanding that gave me an opportunity as an actor to feed into that, to those needs. And so I think that it very much so helped me, being behind the scenes, helped me understand what the needs are. and how things fit as an actor, where you may find yourself. If you understand the structure of the screenplay and you know what page number you're dealing with, you know where you are in the script and what you're supposed to represent, that helps out a whole lot. So, yeah, it helped out tremendously to direct. And then also to really know that most times directors and casting directors and agents and producers, screenwriters, they're really on your side. because they want it they want it to be a great project and they're looking for your input so that it's a collaborative and not just a dictation

SPEAKER_01 44:05

right

SPEAKER_00 44:05

you know yeah it was it was very helpful yeah

SPEAKER_01 44:08

and like how often is it sort of like changed and adapted to suit the actor better say like the script or the direction in order to be able to make it more comfortable for the actor I

SPEAKER_00 44:23

think well I know for myself it's my goal to make sure that an actor feels as comfortable safe as possible because then i know they're going to give their best performance um and i think when you understand when it comes down to the script when you understand the structure of the script and the way the story is being told um and you understand archetypes and you understand you know the dynamics of the script it makes it even more fun as you're learning the story that's where to learn a lot of the to learn

SPEAKER_02 44:58

the story.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

The best way to learn the lines is to know the story. Because when you know the story and you're in the story, the lines are just going to come to you. As you usually work on them, of course, but you know what I'm saying. So I think these are the things that really make it dynamic for the actor is to, you know, having a good relationship with the director and the director having a good relationship with the actors. And then the actor also really embracing the script or embracing those sides. Sometimes you don't have the script, but where you're giving yourself an an opportunity to understand what's happening in the moment and how you can then serve the

SPEAKER_01 45:32

story. Were you ever in a situation where the casting crew, the team members, everyone on the team, at any point, did you not get along with anyone? And how did that sort of impact?

SPEAKER_00 45:48

I've been fortunate for the most part to not have ever experienced that. There was one director one time that that was completely the opposite of what I mentioned. You know, like completely the opposite. But that was a very brief moment. There was two directors for that particular film. And a lot of my time was with the other director. So I've only had, I've heard stories of other actors that have had some pretty bad experiences. That famous

SPEAKER_02 46:19

actor.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

And directors. But I've really, I've been fortunate. I just haven't experienced those dynamics on the set. It's something that I dread, you know, might happen one day because I've heard the stories, but I've been pretty fortunate not to. I really haven't experienced any, you know, I don't have any real horror stories that I can think of at all on set. I've just heard of them.

SPEAKER_01 46:48

Just through

SPEAKER_00 46:49

the grapevine. I've heard some bad

SPEAKER_01 46:50

ones.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

Yeah. Yeah. Lord have mercy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:54

How have you been dealing? And I guess, you know, that one one time where you said that that role that you played didn't quite work out very well. And there was, you know, a lot of criticism online. And I guess there may have been more of that at some point, you know, along the journey as well. How have you dealt with that?

SPEAKER_00 47:15

I think I can deal with it a lot more better now than I did in the past. In the past, it would send me into depressions. You know what I mean? Because once again, you feel the sense of rejection in this story you're telling yourself and you're believing the stories other people are telling you about yourself can kind of drive you you know into a very very dark place I think now you know I do do a lot of meditation practices and I practice Tai Chi you know what I mean and I think that that and then prayer I think those things help and then also too finding how I can cultivate my inspiration has helped me deal with so you know I'm putting the right I'm eating the right mental foods, as it were. That helps me deal with it now. But in the past, though, it's interesting because you can have a lot of cheerleaders over here, you know, telling you how great you've done and you get the good reviews. But then there's that one person

SPEAKER_02 48:17

that

SPEAKER_00 48:19

didn't like it. And all of your energy and focus is going into that one purpose, that one criticism. Yeah. And now that one little criticism is this big and all of these other affirmations become so small. What can I learn from that? And then how do I take that and turn it upside down so then I can add it as fuel to help drive me on? But what you don't want to do is what it did to me back in the past. It's really just let it shrink you down where you feel like you're nothing. You can do that. That one little criticism. You keep feeding it to you. You keep looping it, looping it over and over and over and over.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:23

So anyway.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

I mean, it can be a very, very isolating experience. journey you know it can be a very lonely kind of experience especially the more into the spotlight you you get the more popular the more famous you get your circle of supporters your circle of genuine supporters does get a little bit smaller because along

SPEAKER_00 49:44

with baby I'm lonely right now I'm lonely right now my voice is echoing it's bouncing off the wall So I'm lonely. I'm not unhappy. I'm very

SPEAKER_02 50:01

happy.

SPEAKER_00 50:02

But I'm lonely right now. This is the part of the deal.

SPEAKER_02 50:07

You

SPEAKER_00 50:07

know what I mean? It really is a part of the deal. Loneliness, when you're on a track really wanting to elevate, I'm finding that that can cause loneliness. Because if you stay in the same circles, that's producing an effect in you. And that effect It's not premium for you or optimum. And you don't step out of that circle. You're just going to repeat everything

SPEAKER_02 50:33

again.

SPEAKER_00 50:34

Sometimes when you step out of that circle, there's no one there.

SPEAKER_02 50:39

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

You know, there's just no one there. You've got to keep rolling. You know, you've got to keep going because, you know, life is about growth. Sometimes when you're growing, you'll find yourself

SPEAKER_01 50:50

alone. Can you tell me a little bit about Hollywood life and maybe a little bit about the dark side? of Hollywood, the stuff that we read about online that seem very conspiratory. And yeah, talk to me a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 51:05

Yeah, I'm not in the upper echelon of the Hollywood world, but even on the lower echelon of the Hollywood world, you know, all of that stuff is true. There's no way to get around that. But I think it's not just in Hollywood, it's in any place where you're wanting to elevate to certain levels, corporate world politics, athletics, you run into these gatekeepers and you run into this elite realm where they seem to get a kick out of abusing power. And it does, it can make for very dark times sometimes, very dark

SPEAKER_02 51:42

times.

SPEAKER_00 51:43

Because, you know, you're asked to compromise yourself. You're asked to devalue yourself with the promise that all these doors are going to open up for you. But here's the thing, though, that's more of a myth. The myth is that you can be blackballed. The myth is that that's the only opportunity. The myth is that the gatekeepers are the only way in.

SPEAKER_01 52:11

That's true, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:12

Yeah, that's a myth, you know. You may not, you know, you may have to sit on, they may sit you on the bench for a while until you figure out how to figure out how to, you know, get on the court. Yeah, that may happen. But at the end of the day, your destiny and who you are is ultimately up to you. You know, whether you go to the entertainment route the political route the corporate route the athletic route no matter where you go you're going to run into these gatekeepers and you're going to run into this elite club of people that want to abuse their power for fun you know playing with lives you know even in the in the legal judicial system

SPEAKER_02 52:54

true

SPEAKER_00 52:54

where you go to court

SPEAKER_02 52:56

yeah

SPEAKER_00 52:56

you know what is a court a court is where people play games that's true people's lives you know people's lives are decided Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:05

Have you ever found yourself in these kind of like conundrums or in these kind of situations where you've had to be like, my morality versus, you know, this opportunity?

SPEAKER_00 53:15

Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, there have been times where really dark times because of it, especially when I was a younger actor, you know, because I didn't know all these dynamics, weird dynamics are there. You know what I mean? This other, other underworld, as it were, you know, is there, you know what I mean? And it makes you feel like it's over, like this is never going to happen. If I've got to go through this to get to where I want to go, it's just never going to happen. I thought that and I gave up after a while. Yeah, I quit because I was like, you know, can't, you know, this is not a path that I want to follow. But then I got back into it. And so, you know, the two things that I would recommend is one, to not judge other people because people are going to do what they're going to do. Some people's values and morals are different. They're doing what they do and that's what they're doing. What you want to know is who you are. You know what I mean? To gather up the strength to deal with the different obstacles that you may find yourself having to deal with. Now, here's the other thing. Focus on the work.

SPEAKER_01 54:31

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

Make it less about me and more about the work make it less about how do I get into the industry who do I have to get to know to get into the industry and make it more about the work because after you've done the business side you should do the business side and after you've done the networking and you should do the networking and you go through that door be great yeah

SPEAKER_01 54:54

Yeah, your talent will just show it at the end of the day, right?

SPEAKER_00 55:00

Your talent is the thing that's going to. He was Jewish and Muhammad Ali was black. And so the guy who's a very famous comedian, Jewish comedian, talking about, you know, I just don't know if this is going to work out. You know, I'm a Jew. They're not going to like me. Yada, yada, yada, yada. And he said, Muhammad Ali looked at him and said, well, I'm a black Muslim. You know, and and you think about that, the gatekeepers in the in the which is a lot like the gatekeepers in the in the all the dark sides of Hollywood is an afterthought. There's the mob, there's organized crime, there's all these other weird things surrounding athleticism. And all of that should tell Muhammad Ali being black and then being a black Muslim and then changing his name from Cassius Clay to Muhammad Ali. There's no way we're going to let you in to our club. Right. But he was great. He was irresistible because he was great. And so, yes, all that dark stuff is there. But to focus on the work, to get to know yourself, and in the words of Mother Teresa, do it anyway.

SPEAKER_01 56:30

I love it. Yeah, that's so good. Have you ever thought of writing a book?

SPEAKER_00 56:34

Yes, yes, I have and I will. I am slowly but surely working on it. There's a couple of books I'm looking at. So yes, thank you for that. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 56:43

Yeah, I mean, you really have quite a story here, you know, something that like, and there's so much wisdom you've taken away from all your experiences, from homelessness to, you know, the alcohol, the depression, the anxiety. All of that. And the fact that you've turned all of this adversity around, and still managed to keep your dig your morality through it, and chosen that path, like, I'm going to step away from this, because I don't agree with, you know, the values, and then come back into it, purely for talent, you know, to show what you really have to give. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 57:16

Yes, yes, yes, indeed. Yeah. Yeah. And I would say, too, you know, I want to make it very Very clear, because I don't know who's going to see this. I ain't no saint. never be another you on the planet ever, even with AI. It ain't going to be another you. That means that you're the only one that can fulfill your desire. You know, the Buddha says to be desireless. What does that mean? Does it mean to walk around with no desires? No, it means achieve your desires. And when you've achieved that desire, you're desireless. And then achieve the next desire. And when you achieve that desire, when you hungry, you desire food.

SPEAKER_01 58:24

Yeah. Achieve

SPEAKER_00 58:31

it. Eat it. that you have are meant to be

SPEAKER_01 58:57

filled. Darius, thank you so much for being on Multispective. This has been so inspirational. I feel like I'm just going to get up and start writing now and putting together a little script of my own.

SPEAKER_00 59:13

Oh, great. I'm so happy. I'm so glad to

SPEAKER_01 59:15

be here. Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 59:16

Thank you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 59:22

If you enjoyed the episode and would like to help support the show, Please follow and subscribe. You can rate and review your feedback on any of our platforms listed in the description. I'd like to recognize our guests who are vulnerable and open to share their life experiences with us. Thank you for showing us we're human. Also, a thank you to our team who worked so hard behind the scenes to make it happen.

SPEAKER_02 59:43

The

SPEAKER_01 59:46

show would be nothing without you. I'm Jenica, host and writer of the show, and you're listening to Multispective.