Hello and welcome to episode #129 of Eye-Opening Moments where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. In this episode, you will hear about When I Saw Him and Because I Took Risks.
When I Saw Him
Walking around a large temple, I saw beautifully crafted walls of sceneries of long ago when philosophers stood before their disciples. I carefully read short poems etched in sculpted pictures of people walking in a garden and admiring natural background sceneries seemingly connected to the artificial greens. The walls inside and outside the temple were adorned with many pictures carved from gray stones. Looking at the intricate details of each picture left me in awe of the craftsmanship. I continued walking outside the temple with the warm sun shining on me. Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks because I saw him.
I hadn't seen him for nearly fifteen years but recognized him. We hadn't been together for over twenty-five years, but he had remained in my heart for over a quarter of a century. Over the years, fleeting thoughts of him ran across my mind. The stuffed animals of mice hugging each other are on my bureau top. No matter how many times I have moved, the mice came along. They could be on my couch top or dresser top. They were with me in my home no matter where I put them. Occasionally, I would take out my sizeable rectangular tin box of memorabilia and inside would be gifts he once gave me. It has been so many years, but I can't part with them. I have moved abroad and downsized significantly, but I could not detach them from wherever I lived.
Six feet away from me, he stood there. We looked at each other without saying a word. I couldn't believe I was now living in another country far from my home country and from where we had met and loved one another. What were the chances of us running into each other in another country? It was unbelievable that he could be standing before my eyes.
It must be him, or it must be me because he also stood there motionless. I shouldn't be too surprised to find him at a Buddhist temple because he once gave me books about it. Maybe he was surprised to see me there because he didn't know I had moved to this country, and he didn't know that after many years, I finally read those Buddhist books he gave me.
My feet seemed stuck to the ground; they wouldn't move. His feet didn't move either. Why didn't he hurry over to me? Why wasn't it like the movies where lovers ran to embrace each other? Why didn't he say anything? My mouth wouldn't open; maybe he was tongue-tied, too. What was wrong? We once knew each other so well. We once talked many a night ceaselessly. How could we now be at a loss for words?
His hair has grayed, but he still has a mustache. I don't care for mustaches, but I don't mind it on him. What is he thinking? What does he see about me? My hair is still black, but my face shows my age with age spots on my cheeks, bags under my eyes, and skin slightly drooping down my face. Ouch, can he see all that from six feet away? It shouldn't matter; he always told me I didn't need makeup and looked beautiful without it. It's incredible how I could remember things he said so many years ago, but I could.
Though it was a sunny and warm day, standing there glued to the ground, I could feel oven-hot sensations of heat in the middle of winter. Finally, he took a step forward. My face felt feverish; was I getting sick? Next, I tingled with a sensation that warmed my heart. The warmth gave me a satisfying feeling that I would finally be near him. A smile escaped from my face, and he saw it. It was hard to hide my feelings or contain myself when it came to him. He took several more steps toward me.
My heart pounded so loudly I could hear it. It raced like I was running, but I knew I was not. Trying to catch my breath, I awoke and realized it was only a dream. But lingering on me is the warm sensation of him coming near me. I smile. Though I know it was only a dream, I reveled in the warmth that I felt him near, and I was satisfied knowing I could feel his presence. Whether it was a dream or not, it didn't matter. What mattered was that I could feel my first love around me, and it warmed my heart.
Because I Took the Risks
I lived in a utopia during my first two years of college and then left it. I had a safe, secure, and successful career, and then I quit. I lived in the USA all my life and then moved out of my country. Because I left my utopia, my successful career, and my country, you have to wonder why I would leave all the great things behind me. Something pulled me away from each of them. I didn’t want to or didn’t plan to, but the magnetic forces pulled me away. Though seemingly led away, I took enormous risks that could hurt or pain me, but I did them anyway.
I was ecstatic when I got to the college of my choice. It specialized in two subjects that were close to my heart. Many buildings were pieces of light gray stones with beautiful greenery in front of them during the spring and summer, white blankets of snow in the winter, and yellow, red, and orange leaves in the autumn. Walking across campus to class and passing by the splendor was a feast for my eyes. I called it my utopia because it was my first taste of freedom, and I loved it. I couldn’t be happier.
Before college started, one good thing I had was my best friend, Keith. After I started college, I enjoyed basking in the sunshine that college life brought me. The college held the pillars of freedom, hope, and dreams of a better life for me. Keith became secondary in importance to me, but he kept our relationship going long-distance. He attempted to persuade me to move near him with each phone call. If I moved, it would be a big move from the East Coast to the West Coast. I was content in my utopian college life and didn’t want to make the move. Keith persisted, and our relationship grew deeper. After two years of college and carrying on in a long-distance relationship, I finally gave in and moved across the country in the name of love. I risked it all for love.
And the result? We broke up soon after I arrived. It didn’t quite feel like it because I was too busy with a new school and adapting to a new environment. He told me to concentrate on my studies. Concentrate, I did. I worked part-time and had fun socializing. I didn’t feel any pain if there was a breakup. After graduation, Keith found me, and we picked up from where we had left off as if no time had passed. It is no surprise to me that I would take such a risk in the name of love, but to others, it is. Maybe others don’t know me as well as they think! You could say I took a risk for love and got hurt. But I don’t regret it.
Soon after college, I began a career in teaching and loved it for many years. I was outstanding at what I did, and my students loved me. Fully satisfied, why would I leave the profession? I was not looking to do anything else, but I discovered a business that pulled me to it week after week in weekly meetings. The environment called me to dream and dream big. The company drew most people in with the dream of becoming a millionaire. The atmosphere and the leaders inspired me with how they inspired others to push forward and realize their dreams despite many rejections and challenges in the sales and financial industry. I was mesmerized by it for years.
After working part-time in the industry for years, it took another two years of contemplation before I quit my career in teaching. It was most challenging to leave what I loved doing. Why did I do it? All the years of working part-time did not lead to any substantial results. I spent little time and made little effort working on the business when I had a full-time career. I concluded that as long as I didn’t put the time and effort into the business, I would never succeed. Letting go of the business would mean I was giving up on my dreams, and I couldn’t find myself letting go of it even though I already had an excellent career. So, I finally quit my teaching career to go into the financial industry full-time.
After I took this enormous risk, I fell flat on my face. I made no money the first year and a little bit the next couple of years, but not enough to feed myself if it weren’t for my savings from my career. In the fifth year, I finally made a five-digit monthly income, but I never became a millionaire. Initially, I called it my biggest failure in life. However, upon reflection, I learned many valuable life skills, gained a financial education, met people from many walks of life, and jumped out of my comfort zone countless times. It was the adventure of a lifetime, and it challenged my whole being. You cannot buy the precious gems I acquired. You could say the financial risk I took was terrible because it nearly rendered me penniless. It was devastating to be near homelessness, but I can’t say I regret it because the diamonds found were priceless.
I never thought I would move and live outside the USA, but it happened. This risk was like going into a black hole where you didn’t know what you were going into and couldn’t see your way around. I was already at rock bottom when I went out of business. I lost my house and boyfriend. Already at the bottom, the only direction I could go was up.
I decided to make a fresh start by moving to a country where the cost of living was lower than in the USA, and jobs for me were abundant. It sounded great, but moving to a foreign place was risky, knowing no one and being unfamiliar with many things. I was already at the bottom; could it get worse?
I arrived at an island nation with no money, no boyfriend, and no house. To my surprise, I was greeted by many friendly strangers willing to help. I got a job I loved and lived in paradise for four years; it was like I was on a honeymoon for four years until the honeymoon was over. Then life was as it were, with its ups and downs. The risk of moving to another country turned out better than expected. I never imagined living in a country with a different culture and language. Now, I find it incredible that I can.
I took a risk for love and dreams and went into the unknown. They were frightening, challenging, and painful at times, but because I took risks, I am a stronger person. I am a person who could be proud of myself for facing and overcoming adversities. Along the way, some rollercoaster rides were scary, exciting, and fun. Because I took risks, I can say my life is monotonous-free. Because I take risks, a dull life escapes me.
Key Takeaways: Though it was only a dream, I awoke to feel the warmth and contentment from seeing my first love in my dream.
Though I took some risks which produced negative results, they made me stronger and stronger.
Next week, you will hear about two real-life stories called The Family I Came From and The Exceptional Teacher. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments, please share it with others, support the show by clicking on the link in the description, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!
