How I Met My Dates (and more)

Eye-Opening Moments are real-life stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. In this episode you will hear about How I Met My Dates and  From Dissatisfaction to Satisfaction.

Website: https://inspiremereads.com
Books: https://amazon.com/author/emily-kay-tan.2021_

Chapters

• 0:21 Introduction
• 1:05 How I Met My Dates
• 13:50 From Dissatisfaction to Satisfaction
• 16:32 Key Takeaways

Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode #105 of Eye-Opening Moments where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. . In this episode, you will hear about How I Met My Dates and From Dissatisfaction to Satisfaction.

How I Met My Dates
As I daydream and wonder how I will meet my next boyfriend, I think about how I met some former dates. Some were planned, and some were unexpected. Some were met in usual ways, and others were met in unusual ways. I giggle at the variety of ways I met them. I need not ponder too much; I will be happy if I have another chance to meet another one in my old age. Don’t fret about how; hope for when you will have a new encounter at any stage in life.

I have spent many hours at a job or career and never had a date with anyone there. With all the hours put in, it’s amazing how I had any dates! I also love learning new things or taking personal development classes or seminars. I would squeeze in time for that, and I never dated anyone from those places. My prospects looked bleak, but I managed to pack in more than a dozen ways in which I had dates.

My first one was Keith. We first communicated by writing letters as pen pals. I was not looking for a boyfriend; I was looking to practice writing in a foreign language. I never imagined that it would end up with him flying over to meet me and me eventually flying over to where he lived. It was an on-again and off-again relationship that lasted decades with marriage proposals, from long-distance to living in the same city.

Everett was not a date, but he was a language exchange partner that I fell in love with, like Keith. I was looking to move abroad and wanted to sharpen my language skills, so I was on a website for language exchanges. Everett found me and called me up. We immediately scheduled calls twice a week, and luckily, we clicked and chatted up a storm for several months. I will call it phone dates.

My friend Selina saw that I had been dating Keith for a long time and didn’t see it going anywhere, so she decided to help me do something about it. She decided to drive around after work on my birthday and figure something out.

We stopped by a video rental store when those used to be popular. The store owner stood behind the counter, and Selina spoke with him. She had met him at church and barely knew him. All I did was say hi, and then she hurried me out to wait outside. Soon, Selina came back out and said the guy was interested in taking me out for a date and asked for my number. I was shocked and didn’t believe he would call me, but he did! That was Teo, who proposed marriage to me three months later.

On the same day that I met Teo, I also met Peter. Selina took me to a restaurant for my birthday after we stopped by Teo’s store. Before our order arrived, Selina told me a handsome waiter was in the restaurant and insisted I turn around and look. Selina was persistent and insisted that he was beautiful for a guy and that I had to take a look. Finally, I turned to look; Peter was a tall, handsome man with a milky white and smooth face. I quickly turned back around, and our dinner arrived. After dinner, when Selina went to pay for the tab, she told me to wait outside.

I didn’t know Selina would do a similar thing. A couple of hours earlier, she had told me to wait outside when she talked to Teo. Now Selina told me to wait outside again. This time, she spoke with the boss of the establishment and asked what kind of worker he was and any other information she knew about him. He was an international graduate student. Selina didn’t even talk to Peter. She gave my number to the boss and asked her to give it to him. It was up to him if he wanted to call me. After Selina told me all this, I couldn’t believe my ears, and she couldn’t believe what she did that day. She was married and had no qualms about what she did. I didn’t think Peter would call me. After all, I never spoke with him at the restaurant. Teo called me the next day to arrange a date. Peter also called me the next day to arrange a date. Soon after the first date, they wanted to see me every day. I could only manage every other day for each one. How could two strangers want to date me every day?! One month later, Peter said he got into a graduate school in another state, so he was moving. And just like that, the fun with Peter ended.

Three years later, Selina was pregnant and went for a dental checkup. She called to inform me that she went for a dental checkup and met a handsome dentist. She wanted to set me up with him, but he was a newlywed. Selina then asked if he had any single friends for me. Selina told me she gave my number to the dentist to give to his friend Anson, and it was up to Anson to call me.

Anson called me up, and we arranged a date on Saturday. I did not have a positive first impression of him as he was late, but he wooed me, wined, and dined me, and I ended up marrying him a year or so later.

Selina had given my number out three times. I believe she was an exceptional saleslady because she “sold” me. Anson was a blind date, and I only quickly got a glimpse of the other two. All three men, who were total strangers to me, called me up the next day. Two of the three proposed marriages. Two of the three wanted to see me every day. Anson did, too, but he was practical, and we met each weekend.

In a different kind of setup, Sophie, who was a co-worker, said her husband had a nice single friend and wanted to help him. So, she asked if I would be interested since I was single then. Sophie said she would have a house party to invite some friends, including him and me. She worked to make it seem natural and not awkward. She even shared that we both went to the same college, though not in the same years. She was hoping to connect us and we’d start talking. Vince was shy and did not say much. I was nervous and shy too. Sophie’s efforts didn’t seem to help. She also arranged for him to drive me home since I didn’t have a car then. When Vince drove me home, he finally started talking much more with me than at the party. I enjoyed our talk; we dated a couple of times, and then he disappeared or didn’t call me anymore.

I was on a language and culture study tour in Taiwan as an eighteen-year-old. I lived in the dorms for two months. My younger brother stayed with a family to learn the language. Mom arranged for me to meet with my brother at the family’s home and have a meal with the family. It was there that I met Sky. He was one of the sons of the family. He was the one who came to pick me up at the dorms and drive me home on his scooter. That was how I met Sky. He took me out each week to show me places. After leaving Taiwan, he wrote letters to me, and I loved them. We liked each other very much, but the distance was too far.

During my time in Taiwan, I was with many other eighteen-year-olds as we studied in the mornings and went on tours in the afternoons. Katie, Mary, and Alicia became my buddies during the trip. Alicia was crazy in love with Curtis. Curtis was a well-dressed, attractive guy, and Alicia swooned over him. She followed him and his friends and tried to get near him every chance she got. That was how I met Curtis. When the summer program was over, we all exchanged contact information. I did not think I would see any of them again, but I did. I saw my three gal pals again separately.

Curtis started writing letters to me a few times a year. Three years later, he came to my city and started graduate school. We also started dating. As it turned out, Alicia liked him, but he liked me. I could feel the chemistry between us, but when we finally acted on the chemistry, he suddenly had to return home to Canada because his father had died, and he had to stay with his mom.

During most of college, I lived in the dorms. One guy, I guess he liked me, asked me out to the movies. I was not attracted to him, so I asked a friend to come along instead of rejecting him. Drake never asked me out again.

I met Miles at a college party. He was a guy from a nearby college. With dim lights, music, and alcohol, I don’t know how Miles found me, but once he did, he stayed with me at the party. He asked me out for the following weekend, and we had our first date. Miles felt creepy, and it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t date him again, but he would find a way to bump into me. It got scary; luckily, I transferred from the school the following year.

Reese, a friend I met during my travels, told me she had a friend named Parker. She said he was traveling and would be in my town. She asked me to show him around. I did and enjoyed our time, but I never saw him again. I don’t know if you want to call that a date, but my friend said I might like him, and I did.

Being twenty-something, I joined various social groups and did various activities, such as hiking, bowling, cycling, billiards, karaoke singing, eating out, and more. Along the way, I met some guys and briefly dated Noah, Lance, Garrett, and Oliver.

My mom, who usually dashed in and out of town, stopped long enough to set me up on a date. I never asked for it and was uninterested when she told me he was studying for his Ph.D. I worked hard and struggled financially to get my degrees, and I was not about to help anyone do that. Mom wanted to find someone with a higher degree than me, and it wasn’t easy for her to find one since I had a Master’s degree. The first time I met Frank was with his parents. Mom and I had dinner with them. You would think we were getting married, but it was the first time we met! Frank’s parents kept looking at me like they were determining if I was a good fit for their son. After a while, Mom took me to the restroom and told me they liked me. They loved my beautiful white skin, good manners, and quiet demeanor. I spoke a little with Frank, and after dinner, he asked me to call him if I was interested. I never called him.

During my business venture, I met many men in the financial industry. However, I only dated a few, with one that almost became my husband until he cheated on me. It was a long relationship where we got along exceptionally well, but I got blindsided, and it ended.

Having joined a network marketing business, I found many ways to meet people to get prospects or clients. One friend suggested speed dating. I had never done it before and thought it would be fun. But it got complicated. I didn’t mind getting the dates, but I also wanted them as business partners or clients. Call it conflicts of interest. It didn’t work out or end well. I didn’t feel good about it, but I did have fun going through the speed dating event of playing musical chairs to talk to someone for five minutes and then moving to another seat to speak to another person for five minutes. I thought it was an excellent way to meet many potential partners in a short amount of time. I had fun and was glad for the experience. The result was only a few dates with Wesley, Heath, and Ian.

Though I have met dates in over a dozen ways, I am sure there are also other ways. Regardless of which method you encounter someone is not of issue. What is important is to meet people you enjoy spending time with and establish new relationships or friendships.

From Dissatisfaction to Satisfaction
I didn’t like moving from a house to an apartment, 

but I remember being thankful I had a home.

I didn’t enjoy eating the same kinds of food every week,

but I reminded myself to be glad that I had enough food to eat.

I didn’t like giving up my prized possession: a Toyota Prius,

but I am pleased I can use my feet to get to many places.

I loathed getting older and older,

but I am grateful for the wisdom and contentment it brings.

I despised growing uglier as I aged,

but I understand that beauty is a matter of perception.

I hated not having the designer or beautiful clothes,

but I am glad I have enough clothes to wear.

I didn’t realize my dream of becoming a millionaire,

but I have enough food to put on the table.

I didn’t become the child psychologist I wanted to be,

but I made a difference for hundreds of children.

I didn’t bear children and become a mom,

but I teach and care for children daily.

I hated people talking behind my back,

but I am glad I have an interesting life to entertain others.

I lacked the warm family I always dreamed of,

but I always have myself along with quality friends.

I never had a happily ever after when I got married,

but I rejoiced when I got a divorce and regained my freedom.

I may not have married four of the five that proposed to me,

but I was blessed to be loved by them.

I wasn’t raised by my mother and father,

but I was fortunate to be raised by a caring grandmother.

I may have been a quiet and shy girl most of my life,

but I learned to have the social skills to talk to anyone I encounter.

I hardly traveled anywhere alone before I was seventeen,

but I bravely traveled the world in adulthood.

I never dreamed of moving abroad,

but I did, and it opened a whole new world for me.

I was dissatisfied with my life,

but as I shared my stories of adversity, I discovered an abundant life. 

Content: I found satisfaction from dissatisfaction.

Key Takeaways: Though I met my dates in many different ways, what matters is having relationships that add to the spices of life.
 
Though dissatisfied, I could see the silver lining to find satisfaction.

Next week, you will hear about two real-life stories called The Red Flags and How Will You Remember Me. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments, please share it with others, support the show by clicking on the link in the description, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!