BiteSize - Transforming Conflict into Dialogue: Effective Techniques for Negotiations and Leadership.

Ever wondered how to turn conflicts into constructive dialogues and achieve mutually beneficial agreements? If you're curious about mastering negotiation skills and building stronger relationships through effective communication, this episode is for you.

Welcome to this bitesize episode, where I speak to Dr. Remi Smolinski, a negotiation professor at HHL Leipzig Graduate School of Management. Dr. Smolinski shares his expertise on negotiation strategies, emphasizing the importance of understanding different interests and finding win-win solutions. With real-life examples and a focus on the interdependence between negotiating parties, this conversation is rich with insights and practical advice.

By listening to this episode, you can:

• Develop Effective Negotiation Skills: Learn strategies to navigate differences and achieve mutually beneficial agreements.
• Transform Conflict: Discover how to view conflict as an opportunity for constructive dialogue and creative problem-solving.
• Enhance Communication: Understand the critical role of communication in successful negotiations and relationship-building.

Three Benefits You'll Gain:

1. Conflict Transformation: Learn how to reframe conflict as a natural and productive part of negotiations.
2. Balancing Outcomes: Understand the importance of balancing substantive results with relational outcomes in negotiations.
3. Practical Tips: Gain valuable insights and practical tips for navigating negotiations effectively and fostering positive outcomes.

Are you ready to master negotiation skills and approach conflicts with a constructive mindset? Scroll up and click play to join our enlightening conversation with Dr. Remy Smolinski. Gain the knowledge and strategies you need to navigate negotiations effectively, transform conflicts into productive outcomes, and build stronger relationships.

Exploring Key Concepts and Issues:

Understanding Interests in Negotiations:

• Dr. Smolinski highlights the importance of recognizing and understanding the interests of all parties involved in a negotiation.
• He shares real-life examples to illustrate how identifying common ground can lead to win-win solutions.

Reframing Conflict:

• Conflict is reframed as a natural part of negotiations and an opportunity for constructive dialogue and creative problem-solving.
• Dr. Smolinski discusses strategies for transforming conflicts into productive outcomes.

Substantive vs. Relational Outcomes:

• Successful negotiations involve both substantive outcomes (tangible results) and relational outcomes (quality of relationships).
• Dr. Smolinski emphasizes the need to balance achieving tangible results with building and maintaining positive relationships.

Full Episode from S4 E6:
Struggling with Negotiations? Learn the Key Communication Skills from an International Expert.

Chapters

• 0:08 Introduction to Bite Size Fridays
• 1:53 Understanding Common Characteristics of Negotiation
• 7:02 Transforming Conflict through Negotiation
• 8:37 Defining Successful Negotiation
• 11:07 Importance of Substantive Outcome in Negotiation
• 11:17 The Significance of Relational Outcome in Negotiation

Transcript

Transcript 

[0:08]

Introduction to Bite Size Fridays

[0:00]Music.

[0:08]Well, welcome to It's an Inside Job Bite Size Fridays, your weekly dose of resilience, optimism, and well-being to get you ready for the weekend. Now, each week, I'll bring you insightful tips and uplifting stories to help you navigate life's challenges and embrace a more positive mindset. And so with that said, let's slip into the stream.

[0:27]Music.

[0:36]Hey folks welcome back to another bite-sized friday i'm your host Jason Liem so in this bite-sized episode i have the privilege of speaking with dr Remi smolinski a negotiation professor at hhl leipzig graduate school of management now with a focus on negotiation theory and practice in international settings and innovation management, well, Dr. Smolenski brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to our discussion. Now, throughout this bite-sized conversation, we delve into several key points, including negotiation strategies. Now, Dr. Smolenski shares practical negotiation strategies and communication skills, providing us with actionable insights that we can apply in various contexts. He also offers his expert perspective on handling negotiations effectively, which will be invaluable for any of you, any of us, looking to improve our skills, our negotiation skills. And of course, he also shares some real-life examples. In our discussion, it is enriched with his real-life examples and anecdotes. And so I hope you enjoy this sound extract from episode 6, season 4. Alright, let's slip into the stream and meet Dr. Remy Swalinski.

[1:53]

Understanding Common Characteristics of Negotiation

[1:53]There is a certain common characteristic of all negotiation situations, and that is that we envision that a potential agreement unlocks value for both of us. What does this mean? Well, when we finally manage to agree on where and how, we will enjoy our time together even better. This is a very common example for...

[2:25]Often encountered in relationships. But if we make the transition to business, it looks exactly, it looks identically or analogically, right? So we also have situations where buyers and sellers have radically different interests, right? The buyer wants to spend as little money as she possibly can, whereas the seller wants to maximize his margins, right? Right. But at the same time, none of them gets anything if they don't manage to find a deal that that meets the expectations of both. And so a very common characteristic of interdependence between each other, this interdependence is what unlocks value at the end of the day. So, the seller might have an object or assets which are redundant or which they want to get rid of or liquidate or exchange for money.

[3:24]Whereas the buyer has liquid resources, typically money, and a need for those assets. But none of them gets anything, neither the profit nor the value that could be potentially generated by those assets if they don't find a deal. So interdependence is one common characteristic, then an intention to come to a deal and while having differences, different preferences, different interests when it comes to the details of the deal, such as, for example, the destination in the relationship question of a vacation question or, for example, price. A very common negotiation in sales or procurement.

[4:15]I think one of the words you said is negotiations. The pretext of a negotiation is, at some level, a conflict. Different interests. We come from different backgrounds. For many of us, there is a negative connotation to the word conflict. If we were to broaden the perspective of conflict, how should we look at conflict above and beyond the negative connotations or aspects of that definition? Of the word yes jason uh thank you for this question because yes indeed uh at the core of every negotiation there is a conflict yes i describe it as a conflict between preferences but this can be um this can be um how do i say it more or less less intensive right it can be just a just a pretext to a dialogue about what's important to you or it can be a highly emotional sometimes even course of uh course of conflict like the one that we are expecting and that we we're experiencing in Ukraine, right?

[5:19]So when it comes to conflict, whenever there are two individuals who have different preferences, they are experiencing conflict. The intensity of conflict varies or may vary, right? And I keep saying during my training and my lectures, my courses, sources, that it is not the frequency of conflict that is wrong or bad. Conflict can be constructive. Conflict can lead to discovering more about each other. Conflict can be creative, might lead to developing new solutions.

[6:03]Conflict might even strengthen relationships, right? So conflict per se is not... It's not bad, or the frequency of conflict is not bad, yeah? It's our ability to handle it that we can and need to think about, rethink, and master, right? And that's exactly where negotiation kicks in, right? Negotiation allows us to deal with conflict better. Negotiation allows us to transform conflict into something which is constructive, something that is productive, right? Right. So it's not so much the fact of avoiding it or so much of reducing its frequency. It's much more it's much more transforming, managing and handling the conflict. Right. And this is this is exactly my little mission, you know,

[7:02]

Transforming Conflict through Negotiation

[6:56]and the mission probably of everyone who deals with negotiation, mediation. Right. Or other other aspects, other ways of resolving conflict. We are there to help people handle the conflict, the differences in preferences between them and their partners.

[7:16]You know, I think the skill of negotiation itself, it is sort of a verbal martial arts. There are different, if I can call it, belts of skill to be adept at it. For me, negotiation is a key skill. I mean, you don't have to be a top negotiator. But if you understand the fundamentals, because I think moving forward, when we talk about cooperation or collaboration or communication, negotiation is one of those foundational stones that are needed to lead people, to lead ourselves. I mean, because sometimes we need to negotiate with ourselves. And I think what you said was, I liked your definition, how you articulated conflict. Conflict, if we can see it, you said to see new solutions to build or strengthen relationships, because if we get over the, I think if many of us, you know, who can get over to sort of the limited definition of conflict as something negative, as something intrusive, as something abrasive, but see it as on the other side of the fence, what it actually, it will achieve a better outcome, a better relationship, a better solution. I really like your definition. And I think this This reframing can encourage people to have more difficult or hard conversations, whether it's a deal or whether it's working out some sort of professional, personal difference. So I really like that.

[8:37]

Defining Successful Negotiation

[8:37]If I just can shift maybe to broaden the perspective before we kind of do a deeper dive.

[8:43]As a negotiation professor, as someone who has extensive experience, how would you define the essence of a successful negotiation? I mean, what does it mean to negotiate well? I know that's a very open, broad question, but please interpret it as you will. Thank you, Jason, for asking it. Actually, let us take a step back. Negotiation science is not super old, right? I mean, the first papers were published in the 60s, 70s. A major wave came with Harvard's program on negotiation in the 80s. So we're looking at about four decades of research, four plus. And interestingly enough, in over 40 years, we have not managed to develop a consensus on what it means to negotiate well. Well, and there have been attempts here and there to somehow capture the most important characteristics of superior negotiation results.

[9:48]And let me just try to guide our listeners through some of them. I think the most important one where it all starts is something what we call a substantive outcome. A substantive outcome is what we get at the end. Right. When there is a handshake, it's the price that we get, delivery conditions, payment terms or the destination for our vacation trip. Right. Or I don't know, whatever else we might or peace treaty, the conditions of a peace treaty right between two nations. These are the examples that we tackled. Right. And these are these are the conditions, the terms of an agreement. These are substantive outcomes, right? Sometimes we can measure them, especially in transactional context. Typically, they can have a price tag or value, right, that we can often decipher in money or encode in money, right? And to compare, okay, was it good? Was it not? Sometimes it's non-numerical. It's only based on our subjective perception of the conditions.

[11:07]

Importance of Substantive Outcome in Negotiation

[11:02]But nevertheless, substantive outcome is the first dimension. So we know that the buyer that manages to negotiate a lower price is a better negotiator than the buyer who keeps on paying more.

[11:17]

The Significance of Relational Outcome in Negotiation

[11:18]But when we think about it, it's kind of short-sighted. Right. Especially those of us who are who are who are in business know that 80, 90 percent of of business relationships are long term, are not one shot. Right. And this is this means that.

[11:38]That apparently next to substantive outcome there must be also something that indicates the strength of that relationship or the quality of that relationship and uh this is uh this is literature calls it a subjective outcome or relational outcome and this is uh something that uh that i believe is also important and needs to be considered especially in negotiations which are which are not about, you know, selling a car or buying real estate or, I don't know, buying a used bike on a classified, through a classified service, right? So whenever there is a certain perspective or certain probability that there will be a follow-up negotiation at some point, right, that the relationship is ongoing or repeated, that we must include in the measurement of negotiation success or in the measurement of negotiation performance, we must include the impact that our actions, the impact that our communication.

[12:44]One thing that we didn't mention while defining negotiation is that it's ultimately essentially a communication process. So it's the thing that we say or the things that we say. And these things have impact on both of these dimensions. So the ability, our ability to solve a problem, meaning find the right prize or a destination that we can live with.

[13:10]But also, as we're solving the problem, we are building or destroying the relationship.

[13:17]And these are, let's say, most commonly considered the most important outcomes or most important measurements of a negotiation success.

[13:29]We also, when we run negotiation competitions, we also have a closer look at the process, not only at the outcome, but also at the process, right? Why do we do so? So because negotiation is ultimately a dyadic process and dyadic interactive process. What does it mean? It involves at least two parties, sometimes more. And these two parties respond to each other's actions, to the stimuli that they generate. And therefore, looking only at the outcome is a little bit, how do I say, it's a little bit short-sighted because it doesn't include the contributions or doesn't consider the contributions that have been made by the participating party throughout the process. And these contributions can differ. It can be that the fact that I got a great relational or we got a great relational outcome in a particular negotiation might be completely attributed to the actions of my partner, not mine.

[14:40]So I might just, as a negotiator, might have benefited from my partner's negotiation skill. So what we also do is very often in our negotiation competitions, we have judges who observe the process and at the end make the shots or call the shots who are the ones who manage this process better. But in general, these are the three dimensions that differentiate good negotiation or superior negotiation performance from, let's say, just outcomes. Looking at the substance, looking at the relationship, and the contribution to those outcomes and the relationship along the process. If you want more, why not go back and listen to the original full conversation with my guest? You will find the link in the episode in the show notes. So make sure you hit that subscribe button. And I'll be back next week with my long-form conversational episodes on Monday and the latest Bite Sites episode on Friday. And have yourself a relaxing and rejuvenating weekend.

[15:56]