In a perfect world, we'd never have to draw our firearms. But we don’t live in a perfect world, far from it. It’s a world full of jerks and morons, and some are just looking for any excuse to start trouble. You can’t always just avoid them either, as some are pretty persistent. And they’ll push you to your limits. When conflict arises, it pays to be prepared. Tune in as we explore strategies for de-escalating tense situations and navigating potential threats with confidence and composure. From verbal judo to situational awareness, this episode is your guide to staying safe and staying smart in high-pressure scenarios.
Yes, they are indeed out there, roaming free. Webster defines a moron as a noun, a stupid person. Now, stupid comes in many forms. A person doesn’t necessarily have to be uneducated or uncultured to be a moron, which gives them an advantage as you can’t immediately recognize them. Sometimes they will be wearing clothing that gives you a hint as to their level of stupid, like a “Gays For Hamas” t-shirt, but such obvious indicators are the exception rather than the rule. Most times you have to suss them out by what they do or say. This is sad because you have to interact with them to realize they’re a moron when avoidance would have been the preferable option.
So now you have to deal with them, because they’re angry, drunk, looking for attention, entitled, or any other reason or combination of reasons that is amping the situation up beyond reasonable levels and edging towards violence. You need to know what your options are, why you should exercise them, and when they should come into play.
What are your options? In the world of self-defense, de-escalation procedures are like the friendly neighborhood superheroes of conflict resolution. It's all about strategically calming down tense situations before they turn into something out of an action movie. This technique isn't just about being street smart; it's a cool mix of understanding people's minds and being savvy with tactics. When you nail de-escalation, you're basically a zen ninja, gracefully handling tricky situations and creating an atmosphere where everyone feels safe and in control.
Okay, so here's the deal with de-escalation: it's all about being a master at reading both what people say and how they say it. With an emphasis on the how. By tuning into others with active listening and showing some empathy, you can build a connection and ease tension like a pro. Plus, when you're super aware of what's going on around you, it's like having a sixth sense for spotting trouble before it starts. So, you can recognize butt-headed behavior, step in early, sort things out, and keep the peace.
When it comes to de-escalation tactics, it's like having a whole toolbox of friendly moves that help you handle any situation smoothly. Whether it's using calming words and understanding tones, or simply showing through your body language that you mean no harm, each trick is designed to dial down tension and bring people together. Plus, knowing when to gracefully step away from a confrontation can be your secret weapon for staying safe while keeping things cool. De-escalation procedures represent a fundamental aspect of self-defense. By honing the skills of communication, awareness, and strategic maneuvering, you can navigate potentially volatile situations with confidence and composure.
Why should you use de-escalation tactics? Let's talk about the world we live in, the world of concealed carry—it's a big responsibility. Sure, having that extra layer of protection is important, but knowing when to ease tensions without resorting to firepower sets you apart as a wise gun owner. Which should be every chance you get. Think of it as being the director of the situation, not just the guy with the gun. By opting for de-escalation tactics, you're not only keeping everyone safe but also showing your commitment to being a responsible part of the community.
Imagine this scenario: things are getting heated, emotions are flying, your gun is holstered and concealed. Before jumping to that extreme, consider the power of calming things down first. With a bit of cool-headed communication and some strategic thinking, you can defuse the situation without anyone getting hurt. Plus, you sidestep any messy legal or moral dilemmas that come with using force.
So, why do you want to go through all the hassle of de-escalating a situation? You want to do it because it is going to be significantly less hassle than what a violent encounter, with you possibly using your gun will involve. Way, way less hassle. Now, let's talk about law and ethics. It's easy for the lines to blur between what's justified and what's just too much. But by leaning into de-escalation techniques, you're not only staying on the right side of the law, but you're also showing that you value resolving conflicts peacefully. Because, let's face it, only sociopaths and honey badgers opt for unnecessary violence when there are better, safer ways to handle things.
Let’s say you're out to dinner with your spouse. You’ve ordered, and you get up to use the restroom before your food comes. Unbeknownst to you, Zippy the pinhead, who has been sitting at a table with his friends and is six beers into his night is lumbering along. About the time you stand up, Zippy plows into you. He turns his red-rimmed eyes on you, angry that he almost fell over and looking to place blame, so he says “Why don’t you watch where you’re going?” You’ve done nothing wrong, but now isn’t the time to let your ego be the force making the calls.
When you left the house, you didn’t plan on getting into any kind of altercation. Especially one that could turn violent. Your mission was to go to dinner with your spouse and eat a piece of moderately heated cow, some mashed potatoes, and an obligatory green thing. Maybe a piece of cheesecake for dessert. Your plans certainly didn’t involve engaging Zippy in even casual conversation, much less an argument or a fight. So you need to redirect his thinking so your dinner can get back on track.
Apologize first. A simple “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you coming.” should suffice when dealing with a person who has common sense. Work on the assumption he has some. Try it. If it works, you’re golden and can get back to what you were doing.
But suppose Zippy isn’t amenable to letting it go. Maybe one of his friends at the table offered some words of encouragement, like “Are you going to take that?” In any event, things just got more complicated. To salvage your dinner, you may have to resort to verbal judo.
There are five steps to verbal judo:
First, you ask, you make an ethical appeal. “Please accept my apology, and let’s go on about our day.”
Second, set context by explaining the reasonable appeal: explain policies and rules. “It was a simple matter of me not seeing you coming. We don’t want to get thrown out of here for making a scene.”
Third, present options: what's in it for them, and what if they don't? “If we go about our day we can go back to enjoying our food. If not, the manager will probably see us out.”
Fourth, confirm: “Can I do or say anything to make you cooperate.”” Let me buy you a beer.”
Fifth, act. Buy him a beer.
And why are you doing this? You’re doing all this work to keep a minor incident from becoming overblown. You’re putting it behind you because you want that steak way more than a confrontation with Zippy. And you’re doing this so that everyone within earshot in the restaurant will be able to testify in court that you did everything you could to avoid a situation. Because if it comes to violence or the use of lethal force, while you may be cleared criminally, you can just about be guaranteed you’ll be sued in civil court, either by Zippy or, in the case of you aiding Zippy in taking the room temperature challenge, his family. Because even if they hadn’t seen or talked to him in twenty years, with the possibility of a civil settlement they’d be in court beating their breasts proclaiming that Zippy was a good boy, just getting his life back together and going to church.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t respond to a deadly threat with a corresponding (preferably overwhelming) level of violence immediately. You don’t want to try verbal judo on Zippy if he’s advancing on you with a steak knife. But even under imminent threat of death or serious bodily injury, even if you’ve made up your mind you’re going to shoot, tell him to “stop, don’t make me shoot you.” So the witnesses can testify to that.
We all know that avoidance of danger is preferable to an armed encounter. The thing about a gunfight is that there is no guarantee that you won’t be injured or killed. And let’s face it, unless you’ve been in a few, you’re going to be behind the eightball in a gunfight. They’re loud, confusing, and scary. And you’re simply not ready for it. You’re fighting years of conditioning that told you it’s wrong to hurt people. You’re fighting against normalcy bias, a cognitive bias that leads people to disbelieve or minimize threat warnings.
This is why situational awareness is so vitally important. The sooner you can recognize a threat, the sooner you can take steps to avoid it entirely or mitigate it at the least. You need to keep your head on a swivel from the moment you leave your home until you return. Stay off the phone, and pay attention to who is around you and what they are doing. If you see something that looks suspect, it probably is. Consider it so until proven otherwise.
So, here's the bottom line: your concealed carry permit isn't a license to shoot first and ask questions later. It's about being smart, savvy, and responsible. By mastering the art of de-escalation, you're not just protecting yourself—you're setting a shining example of what it means to be a respectful, community-minded gun owner. So, keep that wit sharp and those conflicts cool—you have the power to keep the peace and save lives, no gun required.
That’s going to be it for this episode. As always, if you liked what you heard here, consider telling a like-minded friend about us. We’re listed in all the podcast directories, or you can listen at our website. We’re also very open to suggestions on what you’d like to hear.
If you live in South Carolina, there are still a few slots open in our Saturday, May 18th Concealed Weapons Permit class. While we recently went to permitless carry here, unless you never plan on leaving the state you’ll need a permit. If you have yours, tell that friend who’s been “meaning to get theirs” for a couple of years that they need to pull the trigger. No pun intended.
Until next time, shoot safe.
