EP20: The Internet’s Dad Shares His Tips

Interview with Rob Kenney / Creator of "Dad, How Do I?"

HOSTED BY PAUL SULLIVAN

Rob Kenney came up for the idea for “Dad, How Do I?” during the pandemic. He wanted to provide what he calls “Dadvice,” to kids who didn’t have a dad. He knew that role personally, growing up without a father – his mom died and his dad left the family when Rob was 14. Little did he know that his first video on how to tie a tie would strike a cord. In a little over two years, he’s gone from working in sales and being a loving dad to two grown children to being a wildly popular YouTube Dad who is sought out for advice, be it how to fix a toilet or understand the rules of football. Listen to how he came to this mission of helping kids with or without fathers – and dancing to the Monday Night Football Song!

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Transcript

00;00;05;15 - 00;00;25;25
Paul Sullivan
I'm Paul Sullivan, your host of the Company of Dads podcast, where we explore the sweet, sublime, strange and silly aspects of being a dad in a world where men often feel they have to hide, or at least not talk about their parenting role. I know this from firsthand experience as a lead dad to my three girls, three dogs, three cats, and, somewhat remarkably, three fish.

00;00;25;27 - 00;00;42;21
Paul Sullivan
I did this all while managing my career and striving to be an above average husband. One thing I know for sure about being the dad is it's not a normal role. You're not doing what dads are traditionally done, going to work and leaving the parenting to mom or someone else. Nor are you always welcome into the world where moms are the primary caregiver.

00;00;42;23 - 00;01;02;04
Paul Sullivan
But here at the Company of dads, our goal is to shake all that off and focus on what really matters family, friendship, finance, and fun. Today my guest is Rob Kenney, creator of dad how do I. He created this during the onset of the pandemic to provide what he calls dad vice to kids who didn't have a dad.

00;01;02;12 - 00;01;15;00
Paul Sullivan
He knew the role personally. Growing up without a father. Married with two grown children, he said that he wanted to help other kids without fathers. We had a lot to talk about today and really excited. Rob. Thanks for joining me on the Company of Dads podcast.

00;01;15;02 - 00;01;16;18
Rob Kenney
You bet. Thanks for having me on for.

00;01;16;21 - 00;01;35;13
Paul Sullivan
My focus is dads. We're here talking about fatherhood. How are you shaped? Good or bad? By having the family situation you did early on. I'll let you tell the story about your father and your mother. But how did that shape you? The good or bad is the man and the father you would become.

00;01;35;15 - 00;01;57;17
Rob Kenney
Well, you know, I think because of my dad, leaving when I was 14, there was actually, you know, I don't know how much backstory you want, but, I'm one of eight kids. I'm number seven, and we, the older siblings were born in Kansas. We moved to New Orleans. My mom saw the thought that she was going to grow up around all her siblings.

00;01;57;18 - 00;02;18;15
Rob Kenney
She was one of 12. And so my dad uprooted us and took us to New Orleans because his Boeing job dried up in Wichita. And so they took us to he took us to New Orleans for the space program. And that's where I was born. And then a couple of years later, we moved up to Seattle. And so all that moving took a toll on on my mom.

00;02;18;15 - 00;02;36;03
Rob Kenney
And so she, you know, it wasn't the life she had envisioned for herself and for her kids. And so it took a toll on our, on their marriage. So it started to fall apart. And there was a time where my mom turned to alcohol. Unfortunately, my heart goes out to her now as an adult, looking back and, you know.

00;02;36;05 - 00;02;38;09
Paul Sullivan
From understanding it. Yeah, yeah.

00;02;38;09 - 00;02;58;07
Rob Kenney
Trying to understand it better. But anyway, so the marriage fell apart. My mom wasn't able to take care of us, so my dad got custody of us, but he didn't really want us. He was kind of done parenting, but hadn't actually voiced that yet. So there was a time when I was 13, 12, 13 where he got custody of us.

00;02;58;07 - 00;03;22;05
Rob Kenney
And so he would some of the older siblings were already out of the home by then, but the younger siblings were still kind of fending for ourselves. My dad would lift us up with groceries, and then, I'd be gone for a week, because he had met another woman. And so, you know, I even got good at signing my dad's signature in case I was really, actually sick because he wasn't around to, you know, sign a sure sign to buy the note.

00;03;22;05 - 00;03;33;15
Rob Kenney
So, and then when I was 14, he officially came home and said, you know, I'm done raising kids. Was was his words. Not really a choice that you can just say, well, I'm just done, you know?

00;03;33;16 - 00;03;34;29
Paul Sullivan
Yeah, I'm.

00;03;35;01 - 00;03;35;19
Rob Kenney
So he's.

00;03;35;19 - 00;03;48;04
Paul Sullivan
Told. What was that like at that moment? Because you're the seventh of eight. So, how many are in that room for when he has that, that, that conversation? And how does he even start that conversation?

00;03;48;07 - 00;04;05;26
Rob Kenney
Yeah, I'm you know, it's a little spicy for me. And I've tried to piece it together, but there's a lot of trauma with, some of the other siblings that don't necessarily want to even uncover it. I, I'm more I want to uncover it so we can kill it, you know? Let's, Yeah, let's just say it up in the light so that we can expose it for what it was.

00;04;05;26 - 00;04;26;29
Rob Kenney
And it wasn't our fault that it happened. You know, I think a lot of times kids will carry that around. Like, maybe I did something wrong, you know, when really wasn't my fault. And my dad just kind of lost it a little bit for a time, you know? And so, so I, I feel like I remember it, but I also wonder if I, you know, by hearing the story.

00;04;26;29 - 00;04;43;27
Rob Kenney
So many times, I don't know that I was actually there, but I think I was I think it was me and a couple of the younger siblings, and I think my brother, who I ended up living with, Rick, I think he was there. I think it was actually at a birthday party, for somebody, one of us and my dad had come home for that.

00;04;43;27 - 00;05;04;06
Rob Kenney
Yeah, some pretty cold hearted he, he his heart had grown pretty hard towards us, which is, you know, now when I think back on it, it's pretty hard to believe, you know, as a, as a dad that your heart would grow that cold towards your kids. But somehow something happened where he said, yeah, yeah. So anyway, yeah, because of that.

00;05;04;06 - 00;05;05;23
Rob Kenney
So then I went to live with my brother.

00;05;05;26 - 00;05;10;08
Paul Sullivan
And how old, how much older was your brother and where was he in the birth order?

00;05;10;11 - 00;05;31;13
Rob Kenney
Yeah, yeah. So he's number three. And he was 23 at the time. You know, it seemed old. I joke about that. Seemed old at the time because I was only 14, 23, like, you know, an adult, where it is. But I also understand my son is he'll be 27 next month, and I can't imagine him taking on a 14 year old, much less a 23 year old.

00;05;31;13 - 00;05;42;22
Paul Sullivan
Right. So if Rick was number three, did siblings, you know, 4 or 5, six year seven and eight all move in with him? Or what happened to this? Your other siblings who are younger?

00;05;42;24 - 00;06;07;20
Rob Kenney
Yeah. So my youngest, my younger sister went to live with my oldest sister. Okay. And then my, the, the second oldest was my brother, and he was kind of, a little bit of a black sheep. So he wasn't in a in a place where he could have taken anybody in. Yeah. And then my sister, my sister Laurie, she was I can't remember where she was at that time, but she wasn't really in a place to do that then.

00;06;07;20 - 00;06;26;26
Rob Kenney
My brother. So my brother, the brothers that are just two above me, Joe and Don, they were 16 and 17, and they ended up getting an apartment. So they got their own story, you know, they got an apartment that my dad partially funded for them to live in an apartment while they were still in high school.

00;06;26;28 - 00;06;40;03
Paul Sullivan
Yep, yep. So is it fair to say, like, I mean, I can't even imagine this happening, but did Rick become like, a de facto, dad at that point, or did it all just kind of come to. Yeah.

00;06;40;06 - 00;07;00;17
Rob Kenney
Yeah, yeah, he Rick was Rick was always more, you know, he was older, older than his years. You know, Rick has always kind of been that way where he kind of has taken on, where he always kind of looked out for his younger siblings too. Anyway, before all this, you know, so my parents did start out, well, you know, really instilled some good qualities in, in the older siblings.

00;07;00;17 - 00;07;25;07
Rob Kenney
But, yeah, unfortunately when it fell apart, I think, but I guess I should say, fortunately, when it's all a part, they were kind of equipped to take on that role where my. So my sister Mary did that for my youngest sister, Angie, and, yeah. So they kind of filled those roles. And even to this day, I think we all kind of look up to them as the matriarch and patriarch of the family, even though they're siblings.

00;07;25;14 - 00;07;36;18
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. And and really, you know, as you get older, they're not that much older than you. You know, when you're a young kid, seven years seems like a lot. But as you become an adult, you're playing friends who are ten years older than you. 15 years old. Yeah.

00;07;36;21 - 00;07;51;25
Rob Kenney
Right. Right. And Rick, you know, like a parent, you know, as you'll see, when you're with your own, with your own kids, you you have to as they get older and older, you have to your relationship changes, you know, you can't treat them like they were five when they're ten or you can't treat them, you know, like they're.

00;07;51;27 - 00;08;08;26
Rob Kenney
So you have to kind of adjust. And Rick and I are best friends now. He doesn't you know, he slowly let that chain out to where then we could have a normal relationship where we're we're best friends. And it's kind of the same way with my own kids. You know, I've had, as they got older and older, I had to just kind of.

00;08;08;28 - 00;08;18;14
Rob Kenney
Okay, now we're just peers. You still respect me as your dad, but I'm taking advice from them, and they're taking advice from me. And we kind of are trying to do life together.

00;08;18;17 - 00;08;23;28
Paul Sullivan
I read somewhere, though, that you you reconcile that you forgave your your father. Is that is that true?

00;08;24;00 - 00;08;45;26
Rob Kenney
I did I, it wasn't easy. And yeah, I do talk about forgiveness a lot. I think that's a big if I can, if you can come away from anything that I ever say. Forgiveness being a huge thing in anybody's life. Because, you know, if you. Then there's people with victim cards. I had a victim card. Some people have bigger victim cards than me, of course.

00;08;45;26 - 00;08;59;19
Rob Kenney
And some people don't have victim cards at all, but they still play them, you know, and they kind of live their whole lives with excuses of why, you know, oh, it's because of that. That's why. And I, I think a big thing for me, I had to forgive my dad. It took me a long time to do it.

00;08;59;19 - 00;09;10;26
Rob Kenney
But when I finally did, because I kept waiting for him to ask for forgiveness. And, you know, if you wait for the other person to ask for forgiveness, that may never happen. And meanwhile, my life is passing by, you know?

00;09;10;27 - 00;09;24;08
Paul Sullivan
Right? Your life has had a pause and and said, you're taking control of the narrative by asking you're going to him and saying, look. And it's you're you're controlling the conversation as opposed to what happened when you were 14. And he he controlled the conversation.

00;09;24;10 - 00;09;40;23
Rob Kenney
Right? Right. It would have been helpful to actually have him acknowledge what he did. You know. And so I yeah, in my book, I share that I, I forgave him and then he ended up asking for forgiveness later on much later. And by that time he was kind of a frail. He was in his late 80s and he died a couple of years later.

00;09;40;26 - 00;10;00;01
Rob Kenney
But he actually asked me for forgiveness. And it was interesting just to kind of see how he, in his own mind, blocked out the guilt, maybe where I didn't feel like he felt the weight. I said, but dad, I was 14, you know? And yeah, I said, I forgive you because I've been forgiven myself and I've already forgiven you.

00;10;00;01 - 00;10;04;23
Rob Kenney
But it would be nice if you could feel the weight, you know, of what you did.

00;10;04;23 - 00;10;21;23
Paul Sullivan
So the pivot to to your to your own children, when, when, when you get married and you had children in need of a son and a daughter, what were you thinking? Like, okay, I'm about to become a dad. Here are the here's what I want to make sure I do. And here's what I want to make sure I.

00;10;21;24 - 00;10;24;09
Paul Sullivan
I avoid.

00;10;24;11 - 00;10;42;13
Rob Kenney
Yeah. My, you know, even back from my 14 year old mind, because of what my dad did, I. I vowed to never do that, you know, to to the best of my ability as a 14 year old, you know, and my 14 year old mind. And I always, that was a goal of mine, was to raise good adults.

00;10;42;16 - 00;10;50;16
Rob Kenney
Always talk about that. You know, you do want to raise good children. I don't want to live in in my basement. As much as I love them, I think it's good for them to live their own lives.

00;10;50;18 - 00;10;57;26
Paul Sullivan
Playing Lego, playing Legos at 27 years old. You like, what are you doing? Like, I'm really good at Legos. Dad, you're 27 years old, right?

00;10;57;28 - 00;11;13;23
Rob Kenney
Yeah. I mean, it's hard, kind of getting off on a tangent, but it is hard to let your kids go. But it's what? You know, my daughter moved to Tennessee a few years ago. She's back now, but at the time is like, go. You guys need to you need you need to go. Because it was all part of the plan.

00;11;13;25 - 00;11;33;04
Rob Kenney
The plan of, you know, raising good adults. I wanted to make, you know, that's. And so I married. Well, my wife and I have been on the same page with that, you know, and marriage is tough, too. You got to work at that to make sure that things kind of stay intact. And, but the overall overall goal was to raise good adults.

00;11;33;04 - 00;11;51;09
Rob Kenney
And so when, when our kids left, you know, everybody goes through a midnight midlife crisis of some sort. But for me, you were talking about career and that sort of thing. Career wasn't really, as much as it wasn't so important to me as raising an adult. So that was kind of my that was the goal that I had in mind.

00;11;51;09 - 00;11;54;20
Rob Kenney
And so when the kids left, I was a little bit lost.

00;11;54;26 - 00;11;57;12
Paul Sullivan
So what do you do for a living?

00;11;57;14 - 00;11;58;28
Rob Kenney
I'm in sales and sales.

00;11;59;02 - 00;12;08;22
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. So was it the type of job that sort of afforded you, you know, time, time to be with your kids, you know, Little League Ballet, whatever they happen to enjoy doing?

00;12;08;24 - 00;12;27;10
Rob Kenney
Absolutely. Yeah. So I had and and that worked out kind of yeah. It wasn't planned that way, but it just kind of worked out that way through a series of events, I got into sales and I'm I'm an introvert. I've shared that before. So it's ironic that I have almost 4 million subscribers on YouTube because, you know, I'm kind of out there.

00;12;27;10 - 00;12;40;06
Rob Kenney
And so when my channel went viral, it was terrifying for me because I, you know, I, I never I never imagined it being that. And so a sales, you know, as an introvert is a little bit interesting. But it's worked out well for me.

00;12;40;09 - 00;12;43;04
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. And what about your wife? What did she do?

00;12;43;06 - 00;13;03;05
Rob Kenney
Yeah. So she was a stay at home mom for, for 13 years. And then. Yeah, she actually works at the airport now. And that was, you know, a godsend because we, you know, insurance is tough and, you know, trying to pay for insurance and trying to pay for everything and stuff on one salary was difficult.

00;13;03;05 - 00;13;09;29
Rob Kenney
And, she got a part time job with full time benefits there. So. So that was. Yeah. Up then a lot.

00;13;10;01 - 00;13;22;17
Paul Sullivan
When you're, you know, your kids were were young. What were the things that you, you know, enjoyed the most doing with them. What were the things that you really look forward to?

00;13;22;20 - 00;13;40;14
Rob Kenney
I tried to make it, you know, the simple pleasures. I tried to enjoy whatever kind of time that we, when we did anything and tried to make it fun, even coming home from from work. I know, Monday Night Football, you know, I'd come home and then we dance around to the Monday Night Football theme song, you know, kind of.

00;13;40;18 - 00;13;41;19
Rob Kenney
Anyway, kind of making.

00;13;41;25 - 00;13;49;26
Paul Sullivan
You were lucky, you know, like being on the West Coast Monday Night Football was earlier for you, unless you had a West Coast game. So you don't have to keep the kids up late.

00;13;49;28 - 00;14;12;26
Rob Kenney
Right. That's fair. That's something I haven't had. I didn't have the experience, but yeah. So come on. And little things like that, we always try to make, you know, and my brother Rick kind of helped me with that when I lived with him, he was always good at making simple pleasures out of, you know, not spending a whole lot of money necessarily, but, you know, kind of just enjoying each other's time and, you know, spending quantity time together.

00;14;13;01 - 00;14;20;22
Rob Kenney
I thank, you know, you hear about the quality time. You know, I want to make sure to spend quality time. But a lot of quality time happens because of quantity time.

00;14;20;22 - 00;14;37;26
Paul Sullivan
Sure, sure. I always say that, you know, I love driving my kids anywhere with their friends and I don't really care. I turn the radio down, and that's when you really hear them talking, and that's when you really hear them, you know, sharing things. You really get a sense of what goes on at school because as I said, my kids are young.

00;14;37;29 - 00;14;51;28
Paul Sullivan
So otherwise I have a school that I find. What did you have? Nothing. Hands down. So good. But when you're with me. But that's just, you know, it's not something that's planned. It's not like, okay, we're going to go ice skating today. It's like, okay, I'll drive you around or oh, yeah, you want to go to this?

00;14;51;28 - 00;15;24;05
Paul Sullivan
I'll drive you there. Yeah. Yeah. One thing that's always fascinated me just sort of, I'm a student of human nature, is that we often sort of define ourselves in opposition to something or someone we don't like, or the flip side, we we model ourselves after something or someone that we we really liked. Now, in your case, obviously to be expected of the understandable to model yourself, in opposition to, to your father what he did.

00;15;24;05 - 00;15;41;20
Paul Sullivan
But, you know, life it becomes more, more nuanced than that. So as you saw your kids get older, as your kids got past sort of age, 14, where when your dad left you, how did how did your sort of thinking and feeling and actions around being, being a dad evolve?

00;15;41;22 - 00;16;01;08
Rob Kenney
Yeah, I I actually write about this in my book about, take kind of the what you're talking about, about taking good quality, this kind of thing, or taking of bad quality. That's not something I want to do. And that's actually the first part of my book is all about that, about my siblings and how I learned different character traits from them that I think are valuable to pass on to other people.

00;16;01;08 - 00;16;18;20
Rob Kenney
Because you can, you know, you meet people and go, oh, I really like that about that person. Or you meet somebody I don't ever want to do that, you know? And I remember the quote, you know, no man's life is a complete waste. You can always be used as a bad example. Which is a pretty sad, sad thing.

00;16;18;20 - 00;16;40;11
Rob Kenney
But, you know, you think of, a lot of that wisdom as you, as you go along and it's like, okay, you know, what kind of legacy am I leaving? What this is, you know what, what do I want to pass along to them as really core values that I think are are powerful and so and I try to always incorporate those in my own life.

00;16;40;11 - 00;16;46;23
Rob Kenney
It isn't always easy. You know, I'm not trying to act like I have it all together at all times. I'm constantly learning myself.

00;16;46;25 - 00;16;49;13
Paul Sullivan
What were some of those core values?

00;16;49;15 - 00;17;13;19
Rob Kenney
Yeah. So, actually, when I, I'm I'll be 58 next month. Like, when I turned 50, I went around to each of my siblings and thank them for a quality character trait. And my sister Mary was about the importance of family. Because when our family fell apart, I was just trying to survive. I didn't see the importance of staying connected to all these people that cared about me.

00;17;13;21 - 00;17;31;00
Rob Kenney
And so family. And then my brother Tim, was having a backbone. It's important to have a backbone, you know, you got to stick up for yourself and, question authority. Even though in our day and age, that can be a little bit scary to say, go ahead and question authority. Well, I don't mean to be a rebel, just to be a rebel.

00;17;31;02 - 00;17;48;15
Rob Kenney
Yeah. I mean, you know, if this isn't what you think should be happening, then you need to stand up and say something. And then my brother Rick, who I lived with, was work ethic. I think having a good work ethic is, is really important. And then my sister Lori was, about encouraging. It's good to be an encourager.

00;17;48;15 - 00;18;19;01
Rob Kenney
You know, you don't want to be the person that squashed somebody's dreams. Just because they made you uncomfortable. Maybe, you know. Yeah. And then my brother Joe, I talk about, has it, you know, don't hesitate if you if you've thought it through, you know, you can sit there and just, you know, analysis paralysis. Pretty soon you got to make a decision, you know, otherwise your life is going by, and, and then my brother Don, I talk about, being generous generosity because he's always been.

00;18;19;03 - 00;18;32;19
Rob Kenney
Been very generous. And then my youngest sister, unfortunately, she wanted to be left out of out of the book because, you know, a lot of the trauma that we dealt with, she's unfortunately still dealing with, to this day.

00;18;32;27 - 00;18;39;02
Paul Sullivan
Sure. Did you have a trait yourself? Is there a character trait that that you feel that you most embrace, embody?

00;18;39;04 - 00;18;48;22
Rob Kenney
Yeah, I didn't necessarily put anything there. I just I did share, you know, a lot of my story and just kind of how, it just it's made me the person that.

00;18;48;22 - 00;18;54;04
Paul Sullivan
I just, I wonder if it was like, perseverance or being or optimism.

00;18;54;07 - 00;19;12;22
Rob Kenney
You know, it's interesting that you say that because that's actually what I had planned for my. And that's what I told my youngest sister at my sister. I said, perseverance is what I've I look at from you. I feel like you've had to persevere through all this. But unfortunately I wasn't able to to see that. So I guess you kind of get it from the overall theme of the book.

00;19;12;24 - 00;19;17;23
Rob Kenney
You would get kind of what it's made me, but I don't think there was any necessarily one thing that I picked up.

00;19;18;00 - 00;19;30;28
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. Okay. Talk to me about the, the idea for for dad, how do I and this YouTube channel, how does it how does it come to know it came to you before the pandemic, but it's really during the pandemic that it launched. But how do you get the idea?

00;19;31;00 - 00;19;47;16
Rob Kenney
Yeah, kind of forced my hand. So I, you know, I talk to my kids all the time about adulting still, even to this day, you know, you know, as your, as you're learning things and if you never had somebody show you, you, you just kind of, I get, I guess I gotta fix that or I gotta figure out how to do that.

00;19;47;18 - 00;20;04;24
Rob Kenney
And so I thought, like, you know, I wanted to make a channel just to download some nuggets because I think a lot of times on YouTube, there's, you know, and I go to YouTube to watch stuff and it's like 20 minute video to get that, that 32nd nugget I needed like it, you know, the minute 15.

00;20;04;26 - 00;20;14;27
Rob Kenney
So I was trying to make my videos short and concise and right to the point. And here you go. It's evolved a little bit now, so I include a dad joke, compared to.

00;20;14;29 - 00;20;16;16
Paul Sullivan
But we'll get to those later I want to get to.

00;20;16;16 - 00;20;34;24
Rob Kenney
So I try to make them good quality dad jokes and, you know, so that, Yeah, I filter through them. Some of them go out. That will never make my channel, but some, Yeah. Anyway, so, Yeah. So it's really evolved into this crazy thing that I, you know, I thought it was going to help 30 or 40 people.

00;20;34;24 - 00;20;40;07
Rob Kenney
I've said that on many, many interviews. It is true. I had no idea it was going to be what it is today.

00;20;40;07 - 00;20;51;03
Paul Sullivan
You know, before the pandemic. Are you saying, dude, your your your wife, your son, you're saying, hey, you know, I'm going to. Anyone want to watch me change a tire? They rolling their eyes or was there a moment like that?

00;20;51;05 - 00;21;08;09
Rob Kenney
There was rolling of eyes that. Yeah, definitely. Even when I, when I did my, how to tie a tie one because that was the first one. How to tie a tie because it was, you know, not much of a commitment. Pretty easy. You shot it on my phone. And I, you know, I really ran out of excuses because of the pandemic.

00;21;08;09 - 00;21;20;10
Rob Kenney
I was at home like everybody else. And then, like, you know, I. I can do this. It's not going to hurt anything. And only 30 or 40 people are going to see it or whatever, you know? Yeah. I didn't see it being what it is today.

00;21;20;12 - 00;21;25;15
Paul Sullivan
What was the date do I. Well, what was the date of that first one. The how to tie a tie.

00;21;25;18 - 00;21;35;17
Rob Kenney
Yeah. So I started my channel April 1st, April Fool's Day, 2020. And then the tie video was April 2nd. So I uploaded the next day.

00;21;35;20 - 00;21;52;00
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. All right, all right. Rob, I'm a pretty positive guy, so I don't want to point out, but your first video was how to tie a tie during a pandemic where everybody is stuck at home. What were you thinking? Like, just make people, like, one day you go outside again? Or what was the thinking behind that being the first one?

00;21;52;02 - 00;22;12;13
Rob Kenney
Well, I think, part of that had to be with it, you know, it's simplicity. And it is something that everybody kind of needs to know how to do. And I also know, I've heard from people saying, you know, it's it's a bit traumatic to, for people that maybe their dad did leave and they don't know how to tie a tie.

00;22;12;13 - 00;22;37;04
Rob Kenney
So when you go to tie a tie, the frustration of the fact that your dad's not there, traditionally a dad role in that, trying to act like it's only a dad, but, it's a reminder. And I've heard that. I've heard sad stories from people saying that, you know, that was that was a painful experience not knowing how to do that for, for a young man that did it with his dad because it reminded him that his dad wasn't there.

00;22;37;07 - 00;22;56;26
Paul Sullivan
You know, on a lighter side. Yeah, I learned to tie a tie, you know, early on. But when I got to college, my roommate, this is in the early 1990s. He wore bow ties because his father, who is, an ObGyn, in Sanford, Connecticut, has always wears bow ties. So there was a whole bow tie wearing family.

00;22;56;26 - 00;23;11;12
Paul Sullivan
And I said, boy, this is great because I was kind of a sloppy guy and I would spill on my tie. And so, like, if you're wearing a bow tie, you only spill on your shirt. You save on the dry cleaning bill. And so him teaching me to tie a bow tie was I figure this is fun. I'll buy some bow ties or wear.

00;23;11;14 - 00;23;36;28
Paul Sullivan
And it has served me so well in life because every wedding I go to, if it's black tie or there's, you know, the groomsmen, I'll. I'll. I'm tying bow ties. But, you know, as a journalist, you know, I meet all these. If not, on this occasion, I would meet, a world leader or something like that. And then they would comment on my bow tie and the best moment ever was, you know, whatever your politics are, I was at a dinner, after his presidency and Bill Clinton was there.

00;23;36;29 - 00;23;52;26
Paul Sullivan
Bill Clinton has this amazing way. I'd never met him before of speaking just loud enough. So everybody at the table leans in, but not so loudly that people at the other table can hear him. So everybody is. And he he picks a person at the table and he picked me and he says, and I won't do as a person impersonation.

00;23;52;28 - 00;24;09;12
Paul Sullivan
But he says, you know that young man over there? Pause. He knows how to do something that I've never learned in all my years. Not even as President Paul, as plus tie a bow tie. And so I jumped over and I said, Mr. President, let me help you. And I tied the bow tie, and I showed him how to tie it.

00;24;09;12 - 00;24;28;14
Paul Sullivan
So, you know, tie a tie comes Cousin Andy. For me, it was one. So the tie was the first one. Then you do a second one, a third and a fourth one. When? What was the first one that really took off? When did you start seeing that YouTube count really start to tick up quickly?

00;24;28;16 - 00;24;51;29
Rob Kenney
Yes. It was right around, may, May 20th. Reddit got Ahold of it. And, and at that time I probably had seven videos maybe, you know, not that many. And I had said that, you know, my plan was to do a tool Tuesday and do a video every Thursday. And that was kind of the plan because I was in the pandemic, I had time.

00;24;51;29 - 00;25;12;00
Rob Kenney
And so that was kind of the plan. But then when my channel went viral right around that time, May 20th, I didn't have a whole lot of time because I was being request, you know, interviews and all kinds of sponsorships, all kinds of craziness that I had no idea my, my, email was full of all these requests and all this stuff.

00;25;12;00 - 00;25;29;04
Rob Kenney
And I was overwhelmed, not knowing what to do. And so I actually did a, a video, called Thank You. And then also, I'm proud of you. And those were just kind of from my heart. And if you if you watch them now, you can tell I was emotional. I was a little bit of an emotional wreck because I was like, what just happened in my life?

00;25;29;04 - 00;25;50;28
Rob Kenney
My face is everywhere, all over the internet. And I hadn't planned on this. And so, yeah. So those resonated really well, you know, the, the tying a tie and the shaving videos resonate with people because, again, for all different reasons, maybe the dad's not there. Never had a dad. Miss your dad. So I've had people tell me they they're bawling watching me tie a tie.

00;25;50;28 - 00;26;08;24
Rob Kenney
And I thought here I was just showing them how to tie a tie. You know, I didn't know I was going to get into this emotional part of, of being a dad, but. Yeah. So that's I think that's the thing that really has surprised me about the channel is I was just trying to be myself and show people how to do some things.

00;26;08;27 - 00;26;17;10
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. At a certain point, did your employer call you up and say, hey, Rob, member, all those meetings you missed and you said you were busy? We just saw you on whatever.

00;26;17;10 - 00;26;38;21
Rob Kenney
Yeah, I had to tell them because because I was going to be on that local, TV station. I said, guys, I'm just like, you know, I kind of did this. And here's where it's at now, because by that time I had like 10,000 subscribers, which was surprising to me. I was like, I can't I when I had 300 subscribers, I'm like, I can't believe this is there's this many, you know?

00;26;38;21 - 00;26;57;22
Rob Kenney
So I'd be out on a walk. I'm like, oh my goodness, I just got two more subscribers. And now, you know, it's obviously way beyond that. So yeah. So it was interesting because I had to kind of let them know. And another thing too, is some other people that I work with had used YouTube to help promote our business.

00;26;57;24 - 00;27;05;27
Rob Kenney
And then here I had used YouTube for something completely. Yeah. So yeah. So it was interesting. So it is.

00;27;06;00 - 00;27;08;00
Paul Sullivan
Did they understand or are they okay with it or.

00;27;08;00 - 00;27;29;19
Rob Kenney
Did they. Oh they've been great. They've been absolutely great. And you know and I'm still working still trying to figure out everything. But now it's getting harder because, you know, I just went to a, a lunch yesterday, a business lunch that I had to attend. But I'm doing so many other things right now, too. It's getting to a tipping point now where I'm going to have to make a decision.

00;27;29;21 - 00;27;31;23
Rob Kenney
Yeah. Yeah. So.

00;27;31;26 - 00;27;43;11
Paul Sullivan
Obviously my vote is for for for the debt side, but but, it's a big decision. What are your most popular videos? If you had, like, a category of videos, what are the ones that are the most popular?

00;27;43;14 - 00;28;13;25
Rob Kenney
Yeah, I would say, like I said, the thank you and, I'm proud of you video, where I kind of have shared from my heart, and some of the more simple ones, like, like the tying, the tie, those are all, up near the top. And I'm still producing content, you know, so I, I did a series on football explaining football to people that don't understand football because I thought that was a valuable thing, to pass along if you don't know how to play football, here's the basics and kind of walk you through that, because there's a little bit involved.

00;28;14;02 - 00;28;37;28
Rob Kenney
One thing that's a little tricky, I find, is our TikTok world, so to speak, where people want the information and they want it as quickly as possible, and they want hang with you to so, so it's it's a little bit interesting because people I feel like they want this, but their attention span has almost been trained to if I don't get it in a certain amount of time, I'm moving on to the next thing.

00;28;38;00 - 00;28;47;05
Paul Sullivan
Yeah, I love this because it's like all those, those Mondays of of dancing around your house with your kids to the Monday Night Football theme song came in here. Yeah, you could do that. Yeah.

00;28;47;06 - 00;28;58;28
Rob Kenney
See, see, that's what, and I do kind of, you know, in my own way, do I do my Monday night theme song? I don't know if you've watched my city of the videos, but I lead in with my yeah, my version of it.

00;28;59;00 - 00;29;13;15
Paul Sullivan
So, yeah, it's one of the ones that you thought, you know, this could be really helpful, this be interesting. And people haven't responded. Are there certain things that you found out that you know, people don't want to learn from your videos?

00;29;13;18 - 00;29;14;24
Rob Kenney
No. Not necessarily.

00;29;14;26 - 00;29;15;17
Paul Sullivan
Okay. I don't know.

00;29;15;17 - 00;29;17;07
Rob Kenney
Kind of done I've kind of tried it all.

00;29;17;07 - 00;29;19;00
Paul Sullivan
So yeah. And there's testing and it's.

00;29;19;02 - 00;29;41;17
Rob Kenney
It's interesting because I've, you know, I've read children's books, I've done cooking videos. I've done, you know, lawn care, I've done kind of all of the above. And obviously it's going to resonate certain or they're going to resonate with certain people in other things. I've had people say, hey, explain baseball to me now. Okay, well, the football series didn't really reach as many people as I thought it might.

00;29;41;17 - 00;29;57;20
Rob Kenney
And so I was like, okay, well, now do I do baseball for then? Is that only going to be for a handful of people? But maybe so. As you know, I'm constantly creating different content. I haven't I haven't actually posted anything and a few weeks because I went on vacation and then I was sick, but but I'll be.

00;29;57;22 - 00;30;00;22
Rob Kenney
Yeah, yeah, I'll wrap it back up here shortly. Yeah.

00;30;00;25 - 00;30;09;04
Paul Sullivan
What are your kids think about this? You know, it's been two years. It's been pretty meteoric. What do you think, dad? What's going on here? Well, it's a response.

00;30;09;06 - 00;30;27;14
Rob Kenney
Yeah. My daughter's been there the whole time, so. And she still helps me on social media. She wants to pull herself out. And so we're working with a new social media team, to help me, because she didn't want to leave. Leave me. Thankfully, she's like, she knew that I didn't have the capabilities to handle my Instagram and and, Facebook.

00;30;27;17 - 00;30;48;21
Rob Kenney
So she's been handling those for me? Yeah. I still handle YouTube, but, so, yeah, she's been super supportive, but, you know, it does put a little bit of a different spin on our relationship. And so and she's even expressed that she said, I kind of want to have our a normal relationship with you again. And I'm like, yeah, I, I agree with you.

00;30;48;21 - 00;31;08;09
Rob Kenney
I mean, we still have a pretty normal relationship to the best of our ability, but it definitely, you know, puts a different spin on things. And then my son, when it first went viral, I asked him because I said, you know, Kyle, what do you think about what has happened here? You know, I said, if it's not something you want me to do, I said, I'll shut it down.

00;31;08;09 - 00;31;24;13
Rob Kenney
I, you know, my family's more important to me than than this. I'd be, you know, I'm I'm happy that I'm able to help people, but. And he said, he said that if I was nine years old and you were chasing this thing and not spending time with me, that I'd have a problem. But he said, if it's something you enjoy, go for it.

00;31;24;15 - 00;31;38;09
Paul Sullivan
So that's wonderful. That's a good I mean, I mean, that's a good endorsement of your of your parenting like that. They both, you know, you were supportive of them when they were growing up, and now they're supportive of you in this thing that's just kind of taken off.

00;31;38;12 - 00;31;58;05
Rob Kenney
Yeah, it's pretty fun. I mean, I'm so grateful that I went viral for something I joke about that's so grateful I went viral for something wholesome, you know, and helpful instead. You know, in this day and age, everybody's got a phone, and you might have a bad moment. You know, somewhere, and somebody records it, and suddenly you're labeled as that guy, you know?

00;31;58;08 - 00;32;03;06
Rob Kenney
So, yeah, I'm grateful for the platform that I've been given.

00;32;03;09 - 00;32;21;19
Paul Sullivan
All right. We I said this earlier on that we're going to come back to the jokes you're known for, your dad jokes. And, the really perfect dad jokes. And I mean that, honestly, where they're they're bad because they're dad jokes, but there is that, they're they're bad in the way, like, oh, my God, I'm laughing at that.

00;32;21;19 - 00;32;35;00
Paul Sullivan
He's that. It's funny. It's a you kind of, you know, it's like 1B2B boom. Where do you come up with them? Did you have a dad joke. Right. Or do you have like a writers room, you know, coming up, how do they come to you?

00;32;35;03 - 00;32;55;19
Rob Kenney
You know, a lot of dad jokes are fairly, fairly obvious. They're kind of standing right in front of you. But I search for some dude, especially if I'm doing a video about something, I. I try to make the, the joke, you know, fit with the video that I'm doing. I try to not all of them work that way because I'm like, I just can't find a good joke to fit with what I'm doing today.

00;32;55;19 - 00;33;05;24
Rob Kenney
So I'm just going to throw out throw out something else. But yeah. So all of the above. Right. You know, and I've the one, one of my favorites came from my brother.

00;33;05;26 - 00;33;08;14
Paul Sullivan
What is it? Tell me, tell me, tell us.

00;33;08;16 - 00;33;17;15
Rob Kenney
So, my son said he didn't understand cloning. I told them that makes two of us.

00;33;17;17 - 00;33;27;04
Paul Sullivan
Let's see, like, one beat laugh, one beat. So what is your. What is your bit? What's. What's the one that still makes you laugh?

00;33;27;07 - 00;33;43;11
Rob Kenney
Well, I got a couple, but, the one that I kind of always go to is an antenna and a satellite. Got married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.

00;33;43;13 - 00;33;46;14
Paul Sullivan
I get dad jokes, making other dads laugh. I like.

00;33;46;16 - 00;33;59;11
Rob Kenney
Here's another one. So, my sister, I told my sister. She drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

00;33;59;13 - 00;34;24;16
Paul Sullivan
That it's I love it, I love it. Rob. Kenny, thank you so much. I always like to give my guest, the last word, more or less. So what's the last word? You know, you built up this dad advice empire. I mean, it's amazing. It's fun. It's needed. It's interesting. You know? Where do you go from here?

00;34;24;19 - 00;34;41;27
Rob Kenney
I just want to continue to encourage and walk alongside people and encourage people to forgive. Like I said, I think that's such a big part of, my message to people, because you can't do anything about the past. It's not beneficial to keep dragging the past into the future. So, you know, to the best of your ability.

00;34;41;27 - 00;35;02;03
Rob Kenney
And I get it. I understand that it isn't always easy to forgive, I get it. But from my perspective, being on the other side of forgiving my dad and understanding the freedom that it gave me, because that whole thing of, you know, for, forgiveness, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping it somehow hurts the other person.

00;35;02;05 - 00;35;18;17
Rob Kenney
That was true in my life. I was if you're constantly chewing on that and chewing on it and chewing on it, it's not beneficial. You know, if you can, if you can let go of that and, and live your best life, because it is your life and you only have one, wife spend it living in the past.

00;35;18;19 - 00;35;25;18
Paul Sullivan
Great. Rob. Kenny, thank you again for joining me on the Company of Dads podcast. I've thoroughly enjoyed our time today.

00;35;25;20 - 00;35;27;10
Rob Kenney
Yeah, it was great. Thanks for having me on, Paul.