EP47: The Year In Lead Dads

Highlights from Mike McKee, Tony Maws, JR Havlan, Tino Ricci and Max Rivera

HOSTED BY PAUL SULLIVAN

Welcome to The Company of Dads Christmas highlights from five podcasts this year – Mike McGee, husband of famous golfer Annika Sorenstam; Tony Maws, award-winning Boston chef; JR Havlan, Emmy Award winning comedy writer; Tino Ricci, my childhood best friend and a long-timne Home Depot employee; and Max Rivera, a New York City Firefighter. Listen to some funny, interesting and useful insights from each one.

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Transcript

00;00;05;05 - 00;00;33;03
Paul Sullivan
Hi. Welcome to the comfort of dad's Christmas wrap up. We made 47 original podcasts in our first year and it's been fantastic. I like them all, but for any wrap up you've got to pick some that stand out. We're going to listen to highlights from five lead dads Mike McGee husband of famous golfer Annika Sorenstam, Tony Maws award winning Boston chef, JR Havlan, Emmy Award winning comedy writer, Tino Ricci, my childhood best friend and a long time Home Depot employee.

00;00;33;06 - 00;00;54;26
Paul Sullivan
And Max Rivera, a New York City firefighter. What they all have in common is their lead dads, just like me. First up, Mike McGee, husband of Annika Sorenstam, one of the greatest golfers of all time, might not have been a nicer guy, and he had an insight into what it's like to be a dad to an elite athlete at an all star.

00;00;54;28 - 00;00;56;18
Paul Sullivan
Listen to him talk about it here.

00;00;56;21 - 00;01;20;07
Mike McGee
You said that from him and your mom. You said you've learned a lot of lessons, and you said that you really prepared you for being what you've, you know, been able to do with your kids and really be there, you know, still have a career, but really be supportive. Was there ever, you know, did you have a discussion when you and Annika got together and you were going to start your family as to how things would be, divided up, or was it something that happened?

00;01;20;08 - 00;01;22;10
Mike McGee
It just happened.

00;01;22;12 - 00;01;43;18
Speaker 3
No, we did not really. It just kind of organically happened. But I did have a discussion with my mom. When I started seeing her and truly turning the corner in our relationship. I didn't even want my dad to know, because it's such a small world. The golf world. I knew he bragged to his friends, and then I would get back to to her like, oh, we're dating.

00;01;43;21 - 00;02;03;15
Speaker 3
I mean, it's. Here she is. You ask, how do you ask the number one player in the world? Out. That was the height of her fame. That was after. Yeah. Student 59 colonial. Getting inducted in the Hall of Fame. When? In 13 times. 12 times? 11 times. And. And so. But it was easy for me because we knew a lot of the same people.

00;02;03;17 - 00;02;16;15
Speaker 3
We we ran in, you know, the similar circles with golf. But my mom, I mentioned to her this and she said, that's great. Kind of, you know, she seems like a wonderful person. And she knew that I was in it for the right.

00;02;16;21 - 00;02;23;07
Mike McGee
But but you said don't don't tell dad that it was down to dad because he wasn't going to call us like Ray Floyd or Andy Northam and blow this for me.

00;02;23;09 - 00;02;42;20
Speaker 3
Exactly. I said, for now, don't don't say. And she said, I just want you to remember one thing and you'll be fine. And I said, what's that? She said, every relationship as a king and having a relationship as a queen. Sometimes the king's the queen, sometimes the Queen's the king. And, And that is so true. Such valuable advice.

00;02;42;20 - 00;03;04;19
Speaker 3
I know she's the the dominant one in our relationship. She's the, the breadwinner and she's, strong. And and I support her in every way I can. And I'm proud of that. And I love it, and I I'm happy being a stay at home dad when she's got to go to the Asia for trips or sponsor outings or foundation events or anything.

00;03;04;22 - 00;03;21;21
Speaker 3
I do whatever we can do, you know, the, the trips that I used to go and schmooze and network and try to do more deals. A lot of times now I'm staying home with the kids because I know it gives her peace of mind. So I just kind of do whatever she wants, really. But, I mean, she's great.

00;03;21;21 - 00;03;37;08
Speaker 3
She's respectful. We work hard, we work together. I mentioned we share an office, and we're back and forth all day long. Whether it's our foundation. We have seven global events for junior girls. Spend a lot of time on that stuff. She goes to every, every one of the events. I don't get to go to all of them.

00;03;37;10 - 00;03;50;21
Speaker 3
But then we just started this sparkling classic cocktail called fizzy. Right? Sweetened with organic honey. These, Cosmo margarita, Moscow mule mojito. And that's been like, my third full time job recently. So we are not.

00;03;50;23 - 00;03;55;19
Mike McGee
None of those sound, no sound like popular drinks and sweet, if you ask me. I don't know, like.

00;03;55;22 - 00;03;58;13
Speaker 3
Yeah, they're popular everywhere.

00;03;58;15 - 00;04;01;17
Mike McGee
You got to get the transfusion. You got to get the classic golf cocktail in there.

00;04;01;22 - 00;04;05;08
Speaker 3
Exactly. So that'll be part of line, too. Once we get there.

00;04;05;10 - 00;04;23;10
Mike McGee
Yeah. You know, I, I think any of these days I can identify with what you just said. And the way your mom put it is it's really true. But I think for a lot of guys, it can be in a difficult, you know, money and masculinity are, are intertwined. You know, you you are married and, you know, the greatest female golfer of all time.

00;04;23;10 - 00;04;32;10
Mike McGee
But I mean, you know, some of your buddies, you know, who used to you travel around with, I mean, did they ever, you know, give you any crap about this or. Oh, yeah, of.

00;04;32;10 - 00;04;53;21
Speaker 3
Course. Yeah. Of course. And I laid down the law immediately. They would call me Mike Sorenstam or Mr. Sorenstam. I said, listen, we don't use the word Sorenstam. And anything we do, the entire brand is built around the one word Annika. But she became, you know, in the mid 2000. So everything is Annika. Please call me Mr. Annika.

00;04;53;23 - 00;05;19;05
Speaker 3
Yeah, but I do have a funny story, though. We were having this Callaway Invitational that used to be at Pebble Beach. And that prior to the late 2000 and, and my dear friend Andy Bush, who, is married to Morgan Presto and runs outlier a golf company managed by the management company that has a bunch of tournaments on the LPGA tour and handles some corporate stuff.

00;05;19;05 - 00;05;35;19
Speaker 3
And he said, I'm buying a drink. I said, I'm buying you a drink. Come on. I mean, we grew up working together on executive sports, so for three years we worked together. You know, when our separate ways. And now we're both married to LPGA players. And so, I was used to the crap. He was used to the crap, but we hadn't really talked about it together.

00;05;35;21 - 00;05;55;29
Speaker 3
And we were at this little bar at Spanish Bay, you know. Right. And he said, I'm buying. And I said, fine, okay. So he wins the check and lady says, what room number? And he says, you know, 212 or whatever. And she says, thank you, Mr. Presto. And hands. And we both cracked up because we loved it.

00;05;55;29 - 00;06;00;22
Speaker 3
You know, it's we're proud of it, but it has made me laugh to see somebody else deal with it.

00;06;00;24 - 00;06;24;14
Paul Sullivan
Up next, got Tony Mas, an award winning chef famous in Boston for his daring dishes and fantastic cocktails. Yeah, man was a staple of the Boston dining scene during the pandemic. Tony Strain to keep his three restaurants afloat, but that work caused him to rethink what he was doing. He decided to make some radical changes and become the lead dad while his son was still in high school, and to be there to support his wife.

00;06;24;14 - 00;06;35;28
Paul Sullivan
We've been soldiering on through the pandemic as a teacher, I caught up with him as he was just adjusting to his new life and venturing into a new career. It will put being a lead dad first does.

00;06;35;28 - 00;06;50;05
Mike McGee
This is probably the first time that you've really been able to reflect, like to reflect back on, you know, 20 years as a chef owner, 30 years as a chef, because before it was just like, okay, head down, got to do this, I'm going to create something new. I'm going to, you know, try a new restaurant.

00;06;50;06 - 00;07;10;17
Speaker 4
And so you're and it's and it's gone through an evolution. I mean all that reflecting there was the early days where I was freaking out. And then there was the, you know, like I tell you about this walk I had with my son, we were on vacation, and this is just, you know, a little while after we we had closed without before I had made the formal decision to actually be done.

00;07;10;17 - 00;07;32;25
Speaker 4
Done. Am I my son? Charlie looked at me and say, dad, this is so awesome to have you here. You're not on your phone. You know how to do computer. You're not placing orders. You're not talking as sous chefs. You're actually here with us. This is awesome. And I started to cry. And he looked at me, and he was such a great kid.

00;07;32;25 - 00;07;54;22
Speaker 4
He's like, no, no, no, no, not like those other times are so bad, you know? But this is just really awesome. And I went back and I like a challenge my life. And I was like, I think I just made up my mind like I think I'm done. Like, yeah, whatever, you know? So I had to get through that part of the reflection before I can then actually think about the next.

00;07;54;22 - 00;08;11;13
Speaker 4
And it took a lot longer. I mean, you read about burnout and, you know, and mourning and things like that, and you think that you can just muscle through it because like I said earlier, because of the pandemic, you put your helmet on and just plow right through. Yeah, but your brain ran a complicated thing and it didn't want me to.

00;08;11;13 - 00;08;33;22
Speaker 4
I would sit down to try to write, you know, the story. Some people wanted me to write the story or or the resume or reach out to people. And I literally couldn't. I couldn't get there. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. Yet it wasn't ready. And it was only two months ago, you know, I closed in August and I was just like two months ago that I actually began thinking, okay, here we go.

00;08;33;24 - 00;08;51;26
Speaker 4
Let's let's figure out what this next is. Let's start having the conversations. Let's, you know, because it's also really it's really humbling. It's scary. Like, I have to admit, not just now to myself, but when I'm doing this, I'm admitting to other people that this is a different Tony than what they had known before. And I might not be good at it.

00;08;51;26 - 00;09;00;17
Speaker 4
I'm not coming. I'm coming with whatever expertise I had. But now I'm talking to you about something completely different. And that's holy crap, that's that's scary.

00;09;00;19 - 00;09;24;02
Mike McGee
I love that story about you and your son, you know, walking on the beach and the moment, you know, I have three daughters. But my favorite thing to do is not to take all three of them out at once. That's actually a horrible thing to do, because in this fight, it's actually no fun at all. But it's those moments I get with just one because I know that something is going to be set, something there's going to be an interesting conversation.

00;09;24;02 - 00;09;39;11
Mike McGee
There's going to be a sort of a deepening of our relationship, but I don't know when it's going to happen. You know, it's just it's not like, you know, with being laid down, being a parent, you can't just say, okay, hey, I got this time, it's, 730 on a Tuesday night. Let's sit down and talk.

00;09;39;14 - 00;09;55;06
Mike McGee
You know, it doesn't come out that way. It's it's moments like that. It's that walk on the beach, you know, with your son or, you know, I love taking my daughters around to different things with their friends. They turn the radio off and, you know, all this stuff. But you only get that by being able to to be there.

00;09;55;08 - 00;09;55;15
Speaker 3
Also.

00;09;55;16 - 00;10;19;25
Speaker 4
But exactly. So it's been there. So now I've had a ton of those conversations and they're not they don't need to be in such a profound place. They can be on the way to hockey practice. They can be on the way like I. But I didn't have those moments before I was in the restaurant, you know. Yeah. And I would I would convince myself that I was being, you know, present that I know I was that guy and I would like almost forced myself into conversation sometimes or something like that.

00;10;19;25 - 00;10;39;10
Speaker 4
But they didn't happen naturally. And now, like he and I will go for a walk and like, go to a coffee shop or we've had, you know, go to a taco joint together or have fun and but it's us. It's us being us and talking about something or nothing. Sometimes it's been meaningful and sometimes it's about the Red Sox, but it doesn't matter.

00;10;39;10 - 00;11;00;19
Speaker 4
The point is that I'm I'm actually present in those conversations. Yeah, physically and mentally. There were times before where I'd be sitting at the breakfast table and I'd basically, you know, be so tired and so overworked and so stressed out, and I'd be, like, drooling on myself and I'd be like, I hate to say it. I'd almost be like, faking it to him and to my wife like that.

00;11;00;19 - 00;11;29;09
Speaker 4
I was present, and sometimes my wife would call me on it. You know, she's like, you're not here. You know you're not here. And it never I mean, it's my own. It's my own thing. I, I don't regret any of the things that I've been able to do, because I've been very fortunate. But I had to get beaten over the head with a pandemic to actually realize what I thought was important, what I, what I really believe in and how I strongly I feel about being there for my family.

00;11;29;12 - 00;11;54;13
Paul Sullivan
There. Having won eight Emmy Awards, writing for The Daily Show when Jon Stewart was the host, which might make him the funniest lead dad we talked to this year, but he takes being a dad to his son and daughter seriously. Well, I mean, he is in it for laughs. He talked about how he and his wife, who run the school food program, decided he would become the lead that he also answers a question to being a comedy writer.

00;11;54;15 - 00;11;57;22
Paul Sullivan
Equip him to handle parenting better.

00;11;57;24 - 00;12;18;19
Mike McGee
You know your kids are getting older and and you and your wife have this discussion about, you know, what are you going to do? Like, you know, are you going to hire a caregiver? Is one of you going to pull back because one of you, you're going to become the primary parent? How did that conversation go and how did you become the one who either was selected or put his hand up to be be the lead dad in your house?

00;12;18;19 - 00;12;43;29
Speaker 3
Well, that question was earlier when I left The Daily Show because we, you know, I mean, we talked about it like a year before I left and then and, you know, and, and then more seriously, like, I made kind of a drama out of it. I left the, the, the same I may I announced that I was leaving the show the same day, 18 to the year, 18 years to the day after I started stuff like that.

00;12;44;02 - 00;13;07;18
Speaker 3
Right. And, and then it was gone later that month, and, but it was, you know, a year before I was like, oh, man. You know, this is this is not becoming kind of a drag. And then and then a half a year after that, then we she and I had this conversation, and we are the kids were very young, you know, they were four and two or something.

00;13;07;20 - 00;13;29;10
Speaker 3
And, and I said, I just don't want to be there. And, and she said, she just said, okay, so then don't. And so I left. And then what I didn't anticipate, like, I didn't really want to work anywhere for a while I'd been I was kind of burned out on top of that. So I was only off for a month or two before somebody offered me a job, you know, helping them develop a show.

00;13;29;12 - 00;13;53;03
Speaker 3
And I was like, yeah, of course, sure, I'd love to. So I go do that. You do that for a few months, and then somebody, and then I'm off for a couple of months. Somebody offered me another job and I wasn't really looking for stuff, but it kept getting offered up, and they were different writing gigs. And, and usually developing shows and for different amounts of time and, some lasted more than others.

00;13;53;05 - 00;14;14;18
Speaker 3
And then that just kind of kept going that way without any of them really taking grip, which was bad. A couple of them were good projects that would have been nice. And then, and then honestly, it just sort of dried up a little bit and I didn't really think about it. And then I just kind of became somebody who was at home doing, you know, only stuff that I wanted to do.

00;14;14;18 - 00;14;31;16
Speaker 3
And yeah, it's working. So we were like, all right. I mean, I'll be I'll probably be looking for work in one form or another. Soon enough, more, far more actively than I have been, because the kids at this point now are starting to be able to kind of take care of themselves a little bit, you know?

00;14;31;21 - 00;14;52;14
Mike McGee
Yeah, yeah. But when, you know, you really embrace this when they're quite young, kids are, notoriously taxing. They they rob us of sleep. Did being a comedy writer equip you? You think better than other parents to handle the sort of, you know, absurdities of of young kids and parenting has given you any, any.

00;14;52;16 - 00;15;00;16
Speaker 3
Whatever that might it would have if my dumb kids knew any popular references.

00;15;00;19 - 00;15;06;10
Speaker 3
You know, I mean, what am I supposed to do when they don't understand the joke?

00;15;06;12 - 00;15;07;20
Mike McGee
And you can't, you can't. I can't explain.

00;15;07;20 - 00;15;08;01
Speaker 3
Everything.

00;15;08;01 - 00;15;09;28
Mike McGee
To them. No, it's not funny when you explain the joke, you.

00;15;10;01 - 00;15;19;13
Speaker 3
Know, they got to get out there and live a little, you know, read a paper every once in a while if you want to understand. Daddy, I can't, can't walk you through this.

00;15;19;15 - 00;15;31;00
Mike McGee
Come on. You. There aren't any tips. They're only two. They. Were you able to lighten it up at all and see this sort of. So any tips for non funny lead dads out there that you could do. You could share.

00;15;31;02 - 00;15;58;17
Speaker 3
Well again don't don't don't try to be too funny. Your kids don't really think you're funny. My kids often don't think I'm funny either I if you like you know, if, if dollars were eye rolls, I'd be way richer. Be. So I'd be filthy rich right now. But, you know, I think it's most dads know, like, how to have fun with their kids.

00;15;58;17 - 00;16;21;24
Speaker 3
It's just about being present. It's being in the moment. It's. It's showing interest in the things that and the things that they do. And and listening to the songs that you hate that they like, and, letting them play them in the car and, and messing around with them and just kind of being there and, and trying not to yell, you know, I'm, I'm no, I'm no middle parent.

00;16;21;24 - 00;16;41;11
Speaker 3
You know, I've had plenty of plenty of issues, but, but you, you, you get better at it. And, you know, I'm just sort of naturally goofy and playful, I think, for sure. So that that, that makes it a little easier. But like I said, you know, the kids don't always want to do that. You know, they're not always the best audience.

00;16;41;11 - 00;16;51;08
Speaker 3
Sometimes they're like, if it was between them and a bunch of drunks at a at a late night open mic, I, you know, I might I might take off and go to the open mic.

00;16;51;10 - 00;17;17;10
Paul Sullivan
Tina Richie and I have known each other since we were kids, like when we were a couple months old, being baptized kids. By age ten, we were hanging out at camp or playing golf, went to high school together, visited each other in college, slept on each other's couches after school, helped each other move stuff into and around our first homes, went to each other's weddings and were there when our first children arrive, you know, lives outside of Fort Worth, Texas.

00;17;17;14 - 00;17;33;01
Paul Sullivan
When I told them about the company of dads and the concept of the dads, he said, that's me. Well, we've been friends our entire life. We talk about how hard it can be for lead dads to make friends with other dads. But some of the moms were out there at school as well. Have a.

00;17;33;01 - 00;17;50;27
Mike McGee
This is one of the more difficult parts about being a dad is to find, you know, friends is to find other guys who are in a similar situation to you. So, you know, when you're in western Massachusetts, you just had, you know, I was a lead dad, but still sort of undercover. But, you know, you had all the rest of us from high school and we'd pop in.

00;17;50;27 - 00;18;09;02
Mike McGee
And the people you grew up with, what's it been like since the move to to Burleson? You know, outside of Fort Worth, what's it been like there? You know, I joke the loneliest person on the playground is is the dad in the playground. That's so what's what's that move been like. You know coming from Massachusetts and going to Texas.

00;18;09;02 - 00;18;34;18
Speaker 3
Is, you've hit it right on the head. I mean, you know, loneliest person on the playground. You know, today, a prime example. So I'm off today, obviously doing this with you, but if I wasn't doing this with you, I would be in my house by myself doing some laundry. You know, maybe depending on the weather, sometime in the next hour or so, I might sneak off and play 18 holes of golf by myself, because I don't know anybody else in this situation.

00;18;34;22 - 00;19;09;00
Speaker 3
You know, most of the friend friends that I've met, you know, fathers of friends of my children, they're they're 9 to 5 years, you know, or what used to be considered 9 to 5. But they work Monday through Friday. They have their weekends. I don't have that, I have Monday. Tuesday is my weekend. So, you know, and like you said to is, you know, you go to these, these functions as the, as the dad with your children and there may be 1 or 2 other dads in the entire room of whatever the function may be.

00;19;09;00 - 00;19;28;15
Speaker 3
It's all moms. Because as you and Professor Shockley were talking about this in the last podcast, there's still that sort of designed that moms do all of this stuff, you know, dad goes to work and does that, and mom takes care of the kids. And that's just how it's going to be, because that's the way it's always been.

00;19;28;17 - 00;19;44;00
Speaker 3
But for you and I, it's a little different because we go to work and we take care of the kids or, you know, for my for my point, for a long time I was and, you know, I told everybody this, I was a part time employee, full time dad. You know, I was Mr. Mom and I was okay with that.

00;19;44;00 - 00;20;04;16
Speaker 3
I loved it. You know, a lot of that comes from, you know, growing up, my father was work, work work work work work work. And I'll get to the family when I get to the family. You know, he wasn't at all my baseball games as a kid. And it wasn't that any games as a kid, because he was always work.

00;20;04;18 - 00;20;19;22
Speaker 3
So, you know, early on when I became a dad, I said, you know, that's not going to be me. I'm going to be involved in as much as I possibly could be involved. And that early experience with my son, with not being able to be involved in stuff, just it really got to me. It hit home.

00;20;19;22 - 00;20;44;00
Speaker 3
It just it hurt me that I couldn't be there. So I changed it and I was happy to change it because honestly, it's I get more out of seeing them doing their stuff, whatever it may be. Then, you know, putting my nose to the grindstone for 80 hours a week. So like I said, you know, my dream was not to become, you know, the greatest scoring associate in the history of Home Depot.

00;20;44;02 - 00;21;00;02
Speaker 3
Hey, I like what I do. I love my job most days. Some days aren't so great, but that's true for any job, right? But, you know, my kids and my family are definitely where my priorities lie. And, you know, if, if, if it came to one or the other, kids and family are going to win out over time.

00;21;00;02 - 00;21;07;06
Speaker 3
And I don't think I've, I don't think I've ever tried to hide that from anybody, including Home Depot made it pretty clear that, you know, family comes first for me.

00;21;07;08 - 00;21;23;03
Mike McGee
Yeah. I mean, you and I, we grew up, you know, always cracking jokes. And I often wonder if that's kind of an armor that lets us be you know, the dads, because, I mean, quite frankly, we don't give a shit. Like, if we went into a room and it's all moms and nobody's talking to us, well, we're there for our kids.

00;21;23;03 - 00;21;43;03
Mike McGee
And if somebody talks to us, great. But I, I, I don't know if every dad is like that. I mean, when you think of the times that you've been able to to break through, in that group and just be a parent, not be, you know, a dad amongst moms. And to be just be a parent and to be there for good reason.

00;21;43;03 - 00;22;01;28
Mike McGee
Like, you want to make a play date for your son, you want to make a play date for your daughter. You want, you know, your daughter's a big softball player now. You got to be able to coordinate the different what's been the key for you to, you know, have those, you know, breakthrough moment where, you know, the moms just accept you as a, as a, as another parent just like are.

00;22;02;00 - 00;22;20;16
Speaker 3
I think it just comes from the fact that being there over and over again, the moms start to recognize that, okay, he's he's taking the role. He's taking the lead on this. You know, he's the one that we're going to deal with because he's the one setting up the playdates. He's the one going to the open house. It's he's the one, you know, whatever.

00;22;20;19 - 00;22;39;11
Speaker 3
You know, and I think that's where it kind of, you know, it really is more of acceptance from the other side where, you know, the moms just kind of go, oh, okay. That's why he's on the playground, you know, not like, you know, oh, what's this guy doing over there on the playground? You know, it's they finally realize that this is what I do.

00;22;39;13 - 00;22;45;27
Speaker 3
You know, I'm I'm taking my kids around and we're going to the playground and we're making play dates, and. But, you know, I'm the guy.

00;22;45;29 - 00;23;09;18
Paul Sullivan
Max always wanted to be a firefighter from age four on. A lot of kids feel that way. But Max fulfilled his dream and now works for the New York City Fire Department, known as the bravest. He's also a dad to a young son, a young daughter. His wife works in finance and has less flexibility, so he is happy to embrace the role of being a dad.

00;23;09;21 - 00;23;18;07
Paul Sullivan
What a max and I talk about, well, how he, as a firefighter, might have a leg up over the rest of us dads when it comes to parenting.

00;23;18;09 - 00;23;28;21
Mike McGee
All right, I got to ask you, start off here, what's harder to respond to, a three alarm fire or kids screaming in the middle of the night?

00;23;28;23 - 00;23;49;14
Speaker 4
Oh, man. You know what? There's a lot of overlap there because there are oftentimes kids screaming in the middle of night at three alarm fires. But when they are your own children, I'd have to say that's harder. It's always, there's a lot of overlap in the job, but there's there's something very specific when it's your own child and it's never easy.

00;23;49;14 - 00;24;13;23
Speaker 4
You never know exactly what you're doing. Where is that a fire? We have our stops. There's always opportunities to deviate. But the reality is we pull up to a building, we see what we see, we make a decision and we go forward with the plan. Your child screaming, you open the door to his room and who knows what you're going to find that mystery continues to stop me every single time it happens.

00;24;13;26 - 00;24;32;26
Mike McGee
I remember. So I've got I've got three kids, three daughters, 12, nine and four. And when my wife was pregnant with our first daughter, we went to the local hospital in Sanford, Connecticut, and we did one of those parenting classes. And you sit there and it's, you know, 6:00 at night, they got some donuts, you got a cup of coffee and somebody teach you how to swaddle a baby.

00;24;32;26 - 00;24;49;09
Mike McGee
And you know, this, this this shit's easy. I got this. And then when you actually have a child and it's the middle of the night, and this. And you know what? This class would be better done. Like in the middle of the night after you've had, like, four beers, you've got a full bladder and somebody is yelling at you.

00;24;49;09 - 00;24;59;23
Mike McGee
So that's why I think you have a leg up on the rest of us as a five. You were. You've trained for crises, you're trained under pressure. And so when you open that door, like you just got to react to what you see, like, okay.

00;24;59;26 - 00;25;23;19
Speaker 4
Yeah. A lot of guys I work with talk about that. The overnights actually being slightly easier for us as dads, given our, our profession than it is for the moms. But you know what? They're, they're feeding, they have a completely different job assignment than what we have. Oftentimes it's just wake up, go console the baby, maybe hold the baby, maybe feed the baby if the baby's being bottle fed.

00;25;23;19 - 00;25;32;15
Speaker 4
But, certainly, like I said, there's overlap. There's something unique to being a fireman and, waking up overnight and having to kind of immediately go to work.

00;25;32;18 - 00;25;52;29
Paul Sullivan
Thanks for listening. I also want to give a shout out to others. Marvin Abeles is two part podcast. I'm battling to get custody of his daughter. It's absolutely remarkable. Story of termination. And Andrew Johnson, a popular YouTube golfer who opened up about his struggles with depression and suicide. It's fantastic to hear about how he's turned things around and his focus on his son.

00;25;53;01 - 00;25;58;07
Paul Sullivan
Please give them all listen and enjoy your holidays. Thanks for being part of the company Dads community.