Unmasking Narcissism Part 2: Navigating and Rising Above Toxic Relationships with Jennifer Passavant

Enjoy the second hand of Shaman Isis's MOST STREAMED episode with guest Jennifer Passavant.

Have you ever found yourself entangled in a relationship that leaves you constantly seeking validation from your partner? If so, you may have encountered a narcissist. In this episode, we go deep into the labyrinth of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), unraveling its complexity and how it affects relationships. We shine a light on the conscious emotional harm inflicted by those with NPD and the co-dependent relationships that ensue, highlighting how true healing begins with oneself.

Get ready to open your eyes to the tactics employed by narcissists to control their victims. We lay bare the charm offensive used to ensnare their unsuspecting partners and the power imbalance that can arise. Learn to recognize the early signs of a narcissistic relationship and equip yourself with the knowledge to protect yourself from further harm. We provide valuable insights on how to safely exit such relationships and regain your emotional sovereignty.

Finally, we delve into the mind of a narcissist, identifying key signs and behaviors like attention-seeking, perfectionism, manipulation, lack of responsibility and empathy, and fears of rejection and abandonment. We stress the importance of setting healthy boundaries rather than assigning blame. We wrap up the episode with practical steps to regain control, suggesting that you seek help if necessary. This episode is a valuable navigation guide through the convolute

Spiritual guru, two-time #1 best-selling author, and higher consciousness advocate Shaman Isis (aka Cynthia L. Elliott) is on a mission to turn the tide of the mental and spiritual health crisis with mindfulness practices, incredible events, powerful content, and motivational storytelling that inspire your heroes journey! Learn more about her books, courses, speaking engagements, book signings, and appearances at ShamanIsis.com.

Ready for a life transformation? Ready to bring your dreams to life? Then you will want Glowup With Shaman Isis: The Collection of inspiring books and courses filled with life lessons and practices that raise your vibration and consciousness. 

Ready for a life transformation? Ready to bring your dreams to life? Then you will want Glowup With Shaman Isis: The Collection of inspiring books and courses filled with life lessons and practices that raise your vibration and consciousness. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Its Effects
• 5:14 Recognizing and Dealing With Narcissistic Relationships
• 14:29 Navigating Relationships With Narcissists
• 21:12 Understanding and Managing Narcissistic Behavior
• 35:08 Promotion of Consciousness and Healing Show

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:56

because the Correct is so frightening, yes, well, and most people assume they're communicating with someone who is typical yeah, you know, who is empathetic and sympathetic in all of those things, and with someone with that type of personality disorder it's a whole different ball of wax. And so you have to. Until you recognize how should I say this? Until you recognize how they're operating, you're still going to assume you're communicating with someone who's mentally typical.

Speaker 1: 1:30

You know, yeah, you're absolutely right. You don't keep saying to yourself I just have to try another method, or, you know, I'll sit down and have a conversation with them, and it's like it's never going to work because guess what? What you don't want to tell yourself. They are fully aware that they are hurting you Bingo, and they're okay with that.

Speaker 2: 1:48

And that's their food. No, they are okay with it. That's their whole point. They get high off of it. They get high off of it. That's their drug. And, like I said earlier, that's their drug where your drug is the kindness and the validation because you didn't get it. That's your childhood. Right you didn't get that as a yeah, it's funny.

Speaker 1: 2:08

I, in my situation, I got really frustrated because I didn't understand. I think that we touched on this yesterday. I kept hearing my stories of myself and he didn't even know half the truth, which, thank God, I didn't actually tell him, because he just told everybody and imploded my whole life. Wow, yeah, and when they're supposed to, I was ready, but what he did know he was constantly telling other people I would be talking to somebody that I didn't even know. And they go oh, I know. And I'm like why do you know such personal information about me? And I thought it was because he was admired me so much. I was just so, I was so cute, I was like, oh, you know, I was like, oh gosh, you really think I'm amazing. All that and bag of chips. He wants to tell everybody. He was just, you know, intuitively, something in me was going. Why does he keep sharing my stories with everybody? You know something off here and I you know.

Speaker 1: 3:07

But you want to believe what you want to believe. You think people will evolve or change and this isn't about maturity. It goes way beyond that. It's about self-love and that's the thing you have to understand and if you can have sympathy for somebody that you almost want to hate, which I think for a lot of people who are listening to this. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you either hate them, or you almost want to hate them, or you love them too much whatever the type of love that is, and it's because you don't want to accept that they actually get off hurting you.

Speaker 2: 3:39

Yes, and I think some of that, that denial, comes also from.

Speaker 2: 3:44

There's a fear, then, of leaving the relationship, because they often are afraid, and this is I've, I've.

Speaker 2: 3:50

I work with a lot of victims of narcissists and co-dependence, and many of them are afraid to leave the relationship, even though they're miserable in it.

Speaker 2: 4:00

So they will make up every excuse under the sun to stay, mostly because not only are they afraid that they will lose the, the, the tiny little nuggets of validation that they've got into the relationship for in the first place, they're just waiting to get one of those little nuggets of reinforcement because they're afraid they won't get it anywhere else. They're, they hate, they're, they feel so badly about themselves that they fear that they won't be able to enter into another relationship and they won't find anybody else. So it's easier for them to stay in that that abusive misery than then face the fear of, in their minds, never finding anyone else who will ever validate them. But but where they're not, what they're failing to see and this is one of the things I and we just touched on that a little bit earlier what they're failing to see is that only they can fill that hole. If you keep looking to get that validation hole filled outside of you, you will always, only ever, be disappointed because you're placing that responsibility and that expectation to heal you outside of yourself.

Speaker 1: 5:09

And you, just you can't do that. Which brings us back to that whole. If you're making excuses at all for the person that you're with, regardless of whether they're narcissists or not, then you probably have a self love issue, self care issue, and until you're capable of telling people and I was always very good at saying stop, you know, get back, but even I can be tricked by world class narcissists.

Speaker 2: 5:35

For me.

Speaker 1: 5:35

I kept thinking that, and this was me thinking this, is that what was wrong with me? I kept thinking that I was smart enough to fix it. Yes, I can fix this. I have fixed so many people on the healer. I can fix this. I fix people all the time. I fix them within minutes, sometimes, you know, by reading them, feeling them and then giving them what they need. You know, do I need to put my hands on? Do I need to? You know, what is it? What magic can I work? And you can't fix that bottomless pit.

Speaker 2: 6:06

No.

Speaker 1: 6:07

No, it is. It'll end up sucking you dry. So if you're finding yourself, if you're exhausted in your relationship, I think that's that you want to need to add to the list Number 12,. If you're exhausted in your relationship, you're most likely not going to be.

Speaker 2: 6:23

If you have. If you're finding yourself having circular conversations with them, you might be with a narcissist.

Speaker 1: 6:31

Oh, that's a good one. I like that. I got to add that to the list, you know what. You're not going to be like writing a book. Oh my God, I know so. This is an interesting one that I added to my list over time. They see threats everywhere, Yep, which I did not understand for the longest time. You know that one really threw me off. It's like I thought you were a badass.

Speaker 2: 6:52

You know I'm talking about.

Speaker 1: 6:53

I've been around enough narcissist in my career and in my personal life that I feel like a professional. That's why I know that I'm going to be helping people either who are victims of narcissists or who want to stop being a narcissist.

Speaker 2: 7:06

Yes, which is, which is rare. So when you do find them, it's like wow, ok, yeah, let's go.

Speaker 1: 7:11

One must be a magnet.

Speaker 2: 7:13

a magnet, well for you though, because most narcissists don't even want to admit that they have a problem or that they are wounded because they talk. They think so highly of themselves, or at least consciously. They think highly of themselves because subconsciously, they hate themselves.

Speaker 1: 7:28

They hate themselves. Yeah, exactly, they're insecure and they don't want to admit it that there's a fear there.

Speaker 2: 7:34

Yes, so it's amazing that you get narcissists that want to change. That's a freaking miracle as far as I'm concerned.

Speaker 1: 7:42

I say I'm going to. Oh, I thought you were going to say that. I'm like oh my God, that's amazing. Every night, I have always attracted narcissists, do not? I mean, I can go to a room with 5,000 people and within an hour I will find myself going. Oh God, hi, one of you again. How are you? Is it blinking? Yes, I wonder if it's because the healer, that healer vibe that I give off, that makes to go. Oh, you know, and I think that happens with people who are super impasse or psychic.

Speaker 2: 8:15

Yes, I agree because I tend to get them, though I've had a couple of a few clients that were narcissistic. The majority of the time I get the victims of narcissism or codependency, but it's in my social media DMs that I get the narcissists. That's interesting, that's actually makes a lot of sense actually, that they just adore you.

Speaker 1: 8:35

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I've worked in entertainment and fashion most of my career and I've worked with a lot of powerful people, so I've been in rooms with people. It's a matter of proximity.

Speaker 2: 8:49

Oh sure Sure. Hi, miss Keegan oh yeah, you're right over here. And what's funny too is how shall I say this? Narcissists tend to think that they can manipulate anyone, that they can find their narcissistic food and that's what it's called as narcissistic food, that they can get their addiction filled with just about anyone. They usually try to use the opposite sex, though it's easier for them to manipulate the opposite sex.

Speaker 1: 9:24

And they go like some more.

Speaker 2: 9:26

It agreed, absolutely they do. And how shall I say this? I think, because of that assumption, they approach us both, whether it's like you were saying you walk into a room, or for me it's in my social media DMs because I'm really going anywhere doing anything interesting. So I don't meet you guys to meet me, but then I can tell within the first. I mean it doesn't take long to tell it's a narcissist. At this point we're so well-schooled when you've been with narcissists as long as we have, because my relationship was six and a half years. I don't know how long years was, but it was we've got this Long time.

Speaker 2: 10:08

Yeah, we got this boo boo. And so once you and this is where I want to also speak to the victim once you learn to see a narcissist for what they are, you then start to and you understand the different types of manipulation tactics that they utilize, you can see it for what they are, and then that means that you then know what they're trying to get you to think, feel, believe about either them or yourself, yes, or if they want you to feel badly about yourself but good about them, whatever it is, you'll see what they're trying to get you to feel, because it's all about controlling how you feel and how you think, and all that from the get go. But then you can go ah, okay, he or she is trying to get me to think or feel this way, all right, so then I can respond this way, which will deflect that or negate it. So once you can recognize it, it gives you a lot of control over the situation which they don't like.

Speaker 1: 11:13

The reality is something that I had to come to the understanding of is that, once you understand or realize that someone is a narcissist, whether it's a client, a family member, which is very difficult to deal with, you know, because they have the right to cut family members out, yes, you do. Yep, you do. You have the right to cut anyone out of your life that is sucking you dry. Yes, oh, I completely lost my train of thought with that. Oh, I hate it when I do that. You know, when you're like, oh, I see something, good, it's juicy. And then I was like, bam, just let me. Oh, yeah, everything that comes out of their mouth is most likely manipulated, correct. That's what I found. I found myself like everything's like okay, okay, I'm dodging the bullets.

Speaker 2: 12:01

Right, bob and weave. Bob and weave, absolutely Bob and weave.

Speaker 1: 12:05

Bob and weave, bob and weave. So the next one is how they feel is all that matters?

Speaker 2: 12:14

Correct and we use the term feeling loosely.

Speaker 1: 12:19

Yeah, yeah. It's more about their ego, as you know how much something's affecting their ego. That's what they say they're feeling.

Speaker 2: 12:27

Bingo. That's exactly right, yes.

Speaker 1: 12:32

Yeah, so I would encourage anybody If you were on the list of signs they like to split, which is, they are the good and you are the bad. Do you have any examples of that kind of thing, spotting that kind of thing?

Speaker 2: 12:47

Oh, absolutely Particularly. When you are how should I say this deflecting or negating with a narcissist, then they have to make you the bad guy and you're at fault for whatever it is they're experiencing that they don't like. Usually, it's because they're not getting what they want from you and that pisses them off.

Speaker 1: 13:11

Yes. So then you have to get real stupid shallow things where. I'm like are you really bitching because the grocery store was out of something? Yeah, yelling at your wife because the grocery store was out of something. And you're yelling at her for not taking all eight kids in the car that was running out of gas to three more stores to get you that thing that you absolutely have decided is so important. You're gonna ruin your day and your whole family's experience over it.

Speaker 2: 13:42

Yeah, and it can't be their fault, and it can't even be nobody's fault.

Speaker 1: 13:48

Yeah, you know, that is really hard, I think, for a lot of people who are. If you're in and if you suspect you're in a narcissist, you're in a relationship and you're sitting there going, yeah, if it makes no sense, because they're upset about something that makes no sense and they wanna blame someone, even though it's a blameless situation and there's no one you can blame, which I think is good at. And we talk about the United States, but one of the big problems is that our country is a narcissist. We in the whole country, everything is restructured. It's like a one-way narcissist. Yeah, everybody in this country is in a sick relationship with a narcissist and that narcissist is America.

Speaker 2: 14:22

Agreed.

Speaker 1: 14:23

And in our shores most other people are like you guys are a hot mess, yep.

Speaker 2: 14:29

As in the country as in the country I can I add to that, though? Or let me just or I guess I just wanna finish what I was saying about. You know, usually it's when they're in my DMs and they're expecting me to either fall in over them and that agree to enter into some sort of emotional dependency on them, because that's what they're looking for. They want someone who will be emotionally dependent on them for validation. And when they're not getting the control over me that they want, that's when they turn ugly and that's when you're the bad guy, you're the problem and you need to feel guilty for it, which also doesn't work, but they try. That's where they go next.

Speaker 1: 15:13

Yeah, and I think that's something that's worth mentioning. You brought something up that I was just talking about. This was a friend last night trying to explain it's hard for people to understand why people do things in relationships, but sometimes if you do not understand that somebody's in a relationship with a narcissist, you will not understand why they chose certain things, because they had to choose them so oftentimes they're on next. So if you're looking to enter relationship with a narcissist, I'm not providing you with an excuse here, because I know that we'll all find lots of excuses to say an unhealthy relationship, but you have to be wise. I made the really stupid mistake of giving someone a year's notice.

Speaker 2: 15:53

Wow.

Speaker 1: 15:54

Yeah, but I was trying to be fair in a very unusual situation and I thought by doing that, I was giving them the excuse to go out and get validation elsewhere. Yes, and then let us handle things like adults. I was trying to be reasonable.

Speaker 2: 16:12

Well, that's you.

Speaker 1: 16:12

being a normal person is why you're saying yeah, I was being what I thought was normal and instead that was an invitation to incinerate my whole life. Yeah, I mean, just came after me to the nail, got to everyone who had ever known me and why do I have this experience for my lifetime of people wanting to be in my life, who want to make shit up about?

Speaker 2: 16:38

me why.

Speaker 1: 16:40

Why? Why does that happen? So if you're ever curious about me, please ask me. Because I have a history of people making shit up about me because they're mad at me for not wanting to be in a relationship with them, and I'm talking about everything from family to Well. I think a lot of us have that and we don't understand, like why is someone trying to plug?

Speaker 1: 16:57

my whole world, yeah, but I gave that opportunity by being honest and thinking that they were a normal person. So my advice to people is if you're, if you're realizing this and if this is just confirming what you already know, you want to make sure that you do that. You Speak your truth, you stand strong and you do this if you're exiting or deciding to exit, dude in a really smart way. It protects your finances. That protects your reputation as best you can. But I'll just say for my own personal advice Decades of experience seeing nurses just helping people get over it and so on it's not worth look, your heart and soul being sucked dry. No, not even if they, even if they implode your you know it's not worth it because that the people in your world are going to judge you over things they don't know and believe someone, not, not the person themselves. They're not worth having in your life anyway.

Speaker 1: 17:50

Agreed absolutely Wait can I add just a little bit?

Speaker 2: 17:56

and and with regard to and this is speaking to to the victim Not only prepare your, your finances, because absolutely you have to be able to find a way to be in all ways independent and uncontrollable, but that, then, that also includes emotionally, because you then have to really look at your addiction to their validation, because until you are how should I say this emotionally sovereign enough to where you can give that, that validation to yourself, where you, you understand that you determine your own worth and your own value, you do that.

Speaker 2: 18:36

You have a choice to give that power away to others, but that's not an obligation. You can fill that, own, that, that hole and that wound yourself. You decide that you are, you have value because you can exist right. That's all it takes to have value right. So when you can learn to let go of the addiction to the validation because that's really the hardest thing to let go of is that addiction to the validation you have to then be be ready to Cut them out entirely. You have to pick it, pick a time, pick a day, and and get out and block them in every Way you can, because they will come after you.

Speaker 1: 19:18

Oh yes, and they will here. They will most likely Turn to some eight daily. They're already have something lined up which is very typical of a narcissist. Or they will turn to someone very quickly to hurt you, because that's how they get off. Um then how they make themselves feel better. You want to. You want to leave as safely as possible and know that you have to be independent and self functioning. I love that. That's wonderful advice and so well said.

Speaker 2: 19:44

Thank you.

Speaker 1: 19:46

So let's what. We're running the list really quick and let me know if you have any more thoughts on any of these because, okay, I think this is such a fantastic effort, though we're gonna need to break this up into a couple of segments. I think we're gonna get some good feedback on that. So the list of signs that you can look for if you're in a relationship or if you're actually. You know what I'm gonna tilt to, not just the people who might be in a relationship with the narcissist, but if you suspect that there's something wrong with you and you know deep down you're unhappy, but you may be on the surface look like everything's all a bag of chips, but you know you might need change in your life and you suspect that you're a narcissist. This is a list for you because you know what. We're all human, we all have psychological issues. We all have growth that needs to happen. Self-love is important, no matter what whether you're on which end of the relationship you are. So if any of these sound familiar, you might want to, you know, seek a life coach or someone to help you deal with the fact that you might be a narcissist or the fact that you're in a relationship with a narcissist so that you can live a happy life and being self-fulfilled and Independent, sovereign being is everything you can handle anything in life if you love yourself. So the signs that we've reviewed today Are and, jennifer, please hop in here if you have any new thoughts on this Uh, superiority and entitlement, which stems from not having any confidence deep down, which is very hard to spot in the beginning. Uh, number two is attention seeking behavior, validation seeking, uh, which is one of the reasons why your partner luck this is what I see consistently with narcissists is, um, they happen to have, they need to have a lot of men or women, or I hate to make it about sex. Is it because it doesn't really matter, which is something I had to realize growing up? I'm like why doesn't it matter if it's a man or a woman, it's just attention, no matter what. Absolutely um, attention seeking uh. Uh, behavior, they'll. They'll seek it from anybody. Um Um.

Speaker 1: 21:44

Number three on the list is that perfectionism that uh Stems from, not from being so afraid. It's being seen as being flawed, because deep down, they believe they're truly flawed, that they have to do everything perfectly and they have to manage you and your life because you're an extension in reflection of their life. Yeah, um, yeah, so that perfectionism rolls over to your children, to you as the partner, to their job, to everything. You need to try to control the language, the description of your life, and you know everybody thinks around them, absolutely, uh, number four control, manipulation. Like I was just saying, they try to control and manipulate everything around them to to, because what other people think is very, very important, it's important to all of us. It's really, really overly important to a narcissist or to you, if you're a narcissist, um, lacks. They have a lack of responsibility, a lack of boundaries. So if you're in a relationship with somebody and you're like, why?

Speaker 2: 22:40

do they not?

Speaker 1: 22:40

keep trying to explain this to them. Why do they not understand why I don't want them calling my friends and trying to get personal information about me? You know they keep saying they're trying to help me. Um, you know I go. They have no boundaries because they don't want to have boundaries, because finding out about you is how they manipulate you. Yeah um and a lack of empathy, which I think is. You know what we're talking about. You know Narcissism and empathy are the two sides of the human um psyche.

Speaker 2: 23:07

I think extremes are ego and extremes are and our wounds and extremes are like our the opposite of the exact same wound.

Speaker 1: 23:15

Oh, that.

Speaker 2: 23:16

I love that.

Speaker 1: 23:18

Yeah, um, they see threats everywhere. You know there's constantly a potential threat to their, whatever it is. Um, how they feel is everything and that's, that's just wording, because they don't. Most people who are narcissistic Don't have necessarily real feelings like you would actually see them. And if, if you suspect that your feelings aren't actually really feelings because there's your true superficial, then you might actually be, you know, a narcissist. I might need to seek help. So splitting, uh, they're good and other people are bad. Every story they tell they're the hero of which is actually, you know, that's actually true. And then a fear of rejection or ridicule, which actually we didn't live with. That one was left off the list. Fear of rejection or ridicule.

Speaker 2: 24:07

Absolutely yes, and I would also add a fear of well, this is more with the codependent, but a fear of abandonment and a fear of you not needing them. But, yes, absolutely a fear of rejection and ridicule and it's oh God, it's so deeply rooted and that's why they again, they have to look and feel and make you look and feel well. Publicly you have to look and present as perfection, but behind closed doors they're tearing you down every which way because of your imperfections. You know they use your wounds and your flaws, which everybody has, but they use that to emotionally manipulate you. But then when you're out in public, y'all better be in a happy, fricking family or whatever the situation is.

Speaker 1: 25:06

Yeah, and they're very concerned with what other people think in that regard. That's why they have to have everyone look a certain way, talk a certain way, like they're managing everything.

Speaker 2: 25:16

Yes, exactly, it's very much about how they present and how other people perceive them, including their partners and their children.

Speaker 1: 25:27

Yeah, yeah, 100%, that's actually, yeah, that's so true. So that is. I love this information, if your assistance suggestions. Before we go and close out our amazing episode on signs of a narcissist, what are some recommendations that you would make for somebody who will appeal to both, because I think you pointed out something that's very important. It's very easy to bash and that's going on everywhere.

Speaker 2: 25:57

Right.

Speaker 1: 25:58

I'm not really bashing narcissists and I don't think that's going to help anybody. So if you're a narcissist, or if you're in a relationship with a narcissist and you're realizing it, having looked into this episode, here are some options for you and how to move forward. Yep, are you having any suggestions for that?

Speaker 2: 26:17

I do, and I appreciate you reiterating that. This is not about bashing people who have either severe narcissistic tendencies or have narcissistic person or disorder, many of whom go undiagnosed, but it's definitely about recognizing them so that you can put up healthy boundaries. So that's really why we're having this conversation. So I know we discussed earlier having financial control and making sure that you're not allowing them to have control over aspects of your life that were something to go south, you can't get out. So be very mindful of that and find ways to regain that if you've lost it, even if that means like you have to open a joint account with another family member and start scrolling money away with another family member that's in their account or whatever it is. But just definitely find ways to be in control of your finances and your living situation. And I would also then recommend learning ways to how should I say this? Learn all the different manipulation techniques so that you can see it when it happens.

Speaker 2: 27:31

You can go, ah, that's gaslighting, ah, that's whatever it is, and then learn how to deflect it or negate it, because then they don't have power over you, because most of the time you get the victim gets so into their emotional triggers because they're now invalidated and they feel hurt and they're trying to then, yeah, but blah, blah, blah, blah and they try to convince the narcissist that they're not who they're being told that they are. They get so into their trigger that then they're just digging themselves in the hole because you're doing exactly what the narcissist wants you to do. They want you to feel like shit and they want you to try to convince them otherwise so that they can then turn around and convince you how wrong you are. So when you can see it for what it is and you know how to negate it, you don't get into that cyclical conversation of trying to get them to change their minds. You just deflect it and negate it. And half the time it's about calling it for what it is like.

Speaker 2: 28:32

Oh, you're trying to gaslight me. I get it. Go ahead, give it a shot.

Speaker 1: 28:35

You know what? When I'm gonna add to the list, do they like to gaslight? Because they are our system's, our world class.

Speaker 2: 28:41

Pro gaslighters and not to say that's probably their top manipulation tactic, but it's by no means the only. So I really recommend people learn the different types of manipulation tactics and you'll read through the descriptions and go, oh, holy cow, wow, I've seen all of these.

Speaker 1: 28:58

Oh, I think you just hit on the next episode that you and I are gonna do together.

Speaker 2: 29:02

No manipulation tactics.

Speaker 1: 29:04

Yes, okay, I think that's something. Okay, I love that idea. I think it works. This was I just feel this is going to be helpful.

Speaker 2: 29:13

I can perfectly I hope so, I really hope so.

Speaker 2: 29:16

But, yes, any more of your amazing suggestions for what to do, honestly, aside from I mean I think we touched on a lot of them the learning, the manipulation techniques, and then how to negate them, to disempower them, but also to have the financial control, but then also the emotional control, because they keep you around by controlling how you feel. So you have to really learn to recognize that, as you said, everything they say essentially is a way to control how you think, feel and perceive and believe about either you or them. So when you recognize that it allows you to keep yourself in check and become very self-aware of when you are allowing them to control how you feel about yourself and when you can go ooh, he just said that and I took it immediately. Personally, I felt awful about it, but that's me giving my power away. I just gave him that control.

Speaker 2: 30:13

So I'm gonna take that. I'm not gonna let that happen. I recognize that that's an intentional behavior on his part or her part, of whoever it is. You're dealing with my experience as a female. I'm thinking back to my own experience. So, but once you're very self-aware of that, then you can regain control and make your own choice, because we all believe it or not. We all choose how we think, feel, believe, perceive, all of that.

Speaker 1: 30:43

We create our own reality.

Speaker 2: 30:45

It is Exactly.

Speaker 1: 30:46

And every thought you have, every word you say, everything you allow to pass, everything you put up with Speaks to how you believe about yourself, which speaks to your reality. You create your reality. You really do. You guys are so powerful. You know nothing. That's one of my you know and I know they beat up America a bit but one of my frustrations for the powers that they've taken away. By the way we've structured all of our systems.

Speaker 1: 31:10

Yes everybody into standing in line because you want everyone to behave the same, because that's how we control everybody. Yeah, in fact, we're incredibly powerful beings and we are capable of creating our own reality on levels that would would blow, you know, our minds 20 years ago, and people are finally coming awake to that, and I think that's an amazing thing. I think a lot of people are coming awake to this kind of thing and about being unhappy and choosing to Take control of their life. So I think a lot of people who are choosing to listen to this episode are To be congratulated, because that this is their sign that you're trying to take control and Um and change your life so that you can be happier.

Speaker 2: 31:55

Absolutely, because you either and and for those of you going, I don't control when you know someone hurts my feelings, I don't control how I feel about that you do. But let me be clear there's a difference between, um A conscious choice and an unconscious choice, right? So you can either be very self-aware and consciously choose your response, or you can operate from your triggered, subconscious, wounded mind and react right, which means you're operating out of an old wound that you've had forever. It's still a choice, Though it may be an unconscious one.

Speaker 1: 32:32

Yeah, so the the the.

Speaker 2: 32:34

The thing is to learn to. Then, even if you've already operated from the unconscious one, if, once you become self-aware of it, you can make a new choice.

Speaker 1: 32:43

Yeah, you can stop something midstream. You don't have to finish off the conversation from that old yes, stop and go. No, wait, wait, you know what? We're not going to do this. I'm not going to behave this way Because no one has the power to make you feel the way that you feel exactly, unless you allow it, and this is so slight tangent, but not really so.

Speaker 2: 33:07

What? When I help people who work with um, negative and lower and energies and entities as an energy healer, one of the prayers that I teach them is I'm an all-powerful being of divine white light. No one and nothing has power over me, save that which I allow. You have no power over me. I'm a sovereign being of God, and so it's acknowledging that if you're allowing someone to control you emotionally, it's a choice you've made. Consciously or unconsciously it's a choice you've made. Absolutely you can make a new choice.

Speaker 1: 33:45

So, so, wow, we did. This has been such a juicy, juicy episode I'm gonna have to break it. It's gonna be, you guys, it's gonna be like two parts. So if you didn't hear the first part or what up, check, check my listings and you'll see how many parts this is. Um, we've been talking about the signs of a narcissist and have had such a blast to never. Thank you Like wise.

Speaker 2: 34:07

But no, thank you. I I love talking with you. I think we could come up with a whole litany. Oh, it's not big.

Speaker 1: 34:14

I can never see this is gonna take down a life of its own.

Speaker 1: 34:17

Yeah, I agree, the energy is just incredible. And you know, life is so short and I really believe that when you something feels right, you just do it, you just go, we're gonna have a ball and you guys are gonna totally benefit. Uh, so you'll hear more about that later. Please check the listings for um part one or part two or part three I'm not sure how many parts it's gonna be, but you'll see it in the listings. And, jennifer, thank you so much. Have a gorgeous, gorgeous week.

Speaker 2: 34:43

Thank you. Thank you so much, and just once again, um, if anybody wants to to learn more about me, they can go to my website, which is wwwangelenergyhealingnet, and from there they can also access my my social media accounts if they're interested in, um, uh, following me there, but Little self-promotions.

Speaker 1: 35:05

You're all future social medias here as well.

Speaker 1: 35:08

Oh, persons perfect and you guys, please, please, like, share and comment on this episode. We're growing the show. Our goal is to teach consciousness, spirituality, healing to as many people as possible, so please support our efforts with your own social media platforms. And Check out other episodes of intention with shaman ices by visiting youtube, spotify, buzz, sprout and apple podcasts. You'll find it listed in all of the major podcast places, um, and you can please visit my website, shamanisiscom. I help people heal upon their life purpose and get into my body and soul harmony, and you can learn more about that at shaman Isiscom. Anyway, have a beautiful day and dinner for us. We'll see you soon, absolutely. Thank you again so much. You're so welcome. Thank you Bye.