Ep. 48 | Spiritual Balance, Intuition and Success in a Busy World ft. Fabi Cordaro

On today's episode, we sit down with Fabi Cordaro, a healer and guide who has successfully navigated the path of a corporate career with a passion for spiritual growth by providing alternative and holistic health services to her clients. Fabi shares her transformative journey from South Africa to the U.S., detailing how she balances her life as an accountant while empowering others through spiritual guidance. This episode promises to explore the courage required to break free from societal norms and the vital role of supportive spaces in facilitating personal and professional growth, especially for women.

We provide practical tools to help you nurture a trusting relationship with your body, which is essential for unlocking your intuitive and creative potential. Fabi’s insights on self-care and meeting basic needs are not just enlightening but also actionable, offering a path towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. Understand how knowing one’s energy type can serve as a superpower, and how modalities like meditation, shadow work, and inner child healing are essential practices for spiritual growth, amplifying various therapeutic modalities beyond, and in addition to talk therapy.

More from Fabi:

• Visit Fabi's website to learn more: https://fabicordaro.com/
• Follow Fabi on IG: @findingjoywithfabi

- Read the blog post!
- Watch this episode on YouTube!

Are you a creative, solopreneur or entrepreneur who’d like to be featured on The Prolific Hub Podcast? Let us know here!

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Theme Music:
She No Dull Beat by Nana Kwabena
Festivities in Belize by RAGE Productions

Chapters

• 0:00 Discovering Purpose Through Intuition
• 17:23 Reclaiming Divine Feminine Energy
• 29:40 Empowering Energy and Awakening Unstuckness
• 36:43 Confronting Shadows for Spiritual Growth
• 48:47 Embodying Core Desired Feelings
• 1:01:21 Parenting, Healing, and Inner Work

Transcript

Aliya Cheyanne: 2:22

Hey friend, welcome back to the show. I'm so excited today to be joined by Fabi Cordaro, and Fabi is just an all around bright soul and very warm. This episode gets into a lot of different things, but it's heavily focused on intuition, discernment, spiritual tools to help to support you in your personal, professional, entrepreneurial life. And there's a little bit of woo, I'm not going to lie. I invite you to be curious, to be open-minded. I think there are a lot of gems in this episode that are of great value and I hope you enjoy it. If you do, let me know what you think. Be sure to send a text to the show or a voice note. With that, let's jump into the episode.

Aliya Cheyanne: 3:16

Hi everyone, welcome back to the Prolific Hub podcast. I'm your host, aaliyah Cheyenne, and I'm so excited today to be joined by Fabi. Hi Fabi, hi Fabi, it's so awesome to have you on the show. I feel like we're aligned in some different topics when it comes to just spirituality, what it takes to be a creative and an entrepreneur in this world, human design, like so many cool things. So I am just excited to speak with you more today. But before we jump into that, I would love for you to introduce yourself to the audience and let us know more about who you are in the world today.

Fabi Cordaro: 3:55

Oh, thank you so much. This is so exciting. This is going to be such a fun conversation. Yeah, I'm Fabi Codero. I am a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a multidimensional healer, spiritual guide all of the things. I live in Nashville, tennessee.

Fabi Cordaro: 4:11

I'm originally from South Africa. I moved to the US in 2014, 2015. So it's only been 10 years now, yeah, and I have been on the spiritual journey I think almost my entire life. But since I had my daughter she she's five that was a big initiation motherhood and so that really spurred a lot of things on a lot of self-discovery. Before that, I was in South Africa.

Fabi Cordaro: 4:39

I finished college there and then moved here with my corporate job that I still have. I still do that part-time and I am, by trade, an auditor or an accountant or CPA, and it's just interesting, looking back over my life, to see how I ended up where I am, which is exactly where I believe I'm supposed to be. But the journey there has been crazy. I moved here by myself at 24. I left all my family and friends in another country and now I'm like a crazy lady right there. But it just all led to me really discovering my dharma, my purpose, why I came here why I decided to incarnate on earth, what earth school really is and what all of these concepts that we'll talk about.

Fabi Cordaro: 5:23

But I am so passionate to now turn around and help other soulpreneurs, people who want to be healers, to help them not feel so lonely as it was for me on this journey. I think a lot of people go through spiritual awakenings. They find out, they wake up from the matrix, as we call, and they look around and everyone in their lives are still asleep and they don't have resources and support to help them through this big, these tower moments, these dark nights of the soul like it's becoming more mainstream. When going through it, it was very. I grew up christian. I grew up in this church, my dad was a pastor, so there's a lot of thing that people are through, and so I'm just so excited to be helped by clients and continue to support those people who are waking up because it's happening a lot more now and so that they don't feel alone, in creating spaces for them and being a guide, so that they can feel supported in this journey.

Aliya Cheyanne: 6:23

Oh my gosh. First of all, wow, the courage it takes to move to another country at such a young age. That's really inspiring. I don't think. I don't think that's crazy. I think that's really cool and really brave. I'm sure it wasn't super easy, but that takes a lot of audacity. So that's very cool and I love what you're speaking about in terms of just the waking up.

Aliya Cheyanne: 6:48

I feel like I'm also someone who one way that I relate to the world is through film and through shows, and one of the ways that I grew up a lot was watching certain things like the actual Matrix, like the term, like those kinds of things. So I've always been interested in what is this thing we call reality? What are we actually meant to be here and do Many of the systems that we have in at our fingertips through technology and social media like we're just super disconnected from just nature, earth, spirit, all these different things. So I always feel really excited to engage with other people who are in a space, and have been in a space, of just breaking out of the mold, and so I'm really excited to speak with you today.

Aliya Cheyanne: 7:49

So you shared that your corporate life. You're still doing that part time, working as an accountant and a CPA and then transitioning more into your purpose of supporting other people who are breaking out of the matrix and working up. And one of the things that I gravitated toward in just your bio and learning a little bit more about you was that you're working so much to just empower women to really define their purpose and live in their truth and embody that. So I want to talk to you a little bit more about what that actually looks like. What does deciding or determining your purpose look like and what does embodying it look like for your typical client? Maybe some examples or anything from your personal experience about what that actually looks like? I'd love to know.

Fabi Cordaro: 8:37

Yeah, I think this whole thing of purpose I think I came out of the womb wondering what my purpose was Like, that's all in for me. It's a very old soul thing. I think that's all for me. It is a very it's a very old soul thing. I think that's a marker for it.

Fabi Cordaro: 8:50

Also, and I think heard a lot of recently about follow your bliss, follow your excitement, and it is hard, though, because we still need to pay our bills, we need to still go to work and still pay our bills, and there's still these things that we need to do. Yeah, and what I always tell my clients is it doesn't have to be either or doesn't have to be black or white. You don't have to quit your job tomorrow and then follow your purpose and start a business being a healer or go and live in jungle somewhere. Right, it doesn't have to be so dramatic and so drastic. It really just starts with how are you finding time to create stillness with yourself? And, like you were saying, how do you go outside more? These small things they talk about, like, the one thing that I've learned that's the best thing for my mental health is walking, like, whether it's walking in the middle or walking on a thigh, it's not going to yoga five days a week, it's not going to the gym, it's not this random diet or waking up at 5 am and meditating for an hour, like. Those things may be where you end up, but that's not how you start and a lot of people go from being really in the like we call the rat race or in the matrix, and they really. They see someone, maybe on instagram or social media that is already five years ahead of them and then they're there where they are, with that person and they set themselves up for failure. Honestly, because you cannot change your habits by trying to make drastic changes, like nervous system regulation.

Fabi Cordaro: 10:24

I love talking about the tangible things Like how do you regulate your nervous system? How do you rewire your brain? How do you calm yourself? What are those things that? What are the limiting beliefs? Like? We are very woo-woo over here, but we are also based on science because ultimately, you're a spiritual being having a human experience, and so you need to be able to be in your body and so the embodiment piece comes in when we are so disconnected. We live in this part of our body for 30 something years of our lives Hopefully not long anymore with, like us, having kids and teaching our kids how to be more embodied. But later, gen Z or gen z and most of the millennials and up have been living in your brain and not in your body for so long, being able to feel your feelings and not intellectualizing it and not just being like what does it feel like to be sad? What does it feel like to be happy? You can't follow your bliss if you don't know what bliss feels like. It's just you're just going to fall around. And so it's not necessarily.

Fabi Cordaro: 12:24

What I realized was. It's not finding my purpose, that was the, the impetus. It is knowing what it feels like when something excites me, and following that breadcrumb and being curious about it. And that led me to what? Seeing the signs from the universe, because our guides, the universe, god, spirit, whatever you want to call it, always sends us signs. But you need to be silent and you need to be still enough to listen, to hear, to understand the language of your body so that you can follow the breadcrumb, whatever your purpose is.

Fabi Cordaro: 13:00

But if you try and just focus on what's my purpose, what's my purpose, you're going to get the external version of what others say your purpose should be and that is nine times out of 10, not even close to why you are here because you're here for a reason unique to you.

Fabi Cordaro: 13:17

Someone on Instagram or on instagram or on tiktok on youtube cannot tell you why, and we so focus, we're so focused on the end goal that we forget that a lot of people have done so much more behind the scenes before they got to this like perfect life, yeah, yep, yep.

Fabi Cordaro: 13:35

So, in summary, what I tell people first thing is what's your morning routine? What's your evening routine? How often do you go outside and ground yourself? How do you connect your spirit guides? Those four or five questions can give me a lot about where a client is Like, where are you journey? Right, because whether or not you have a morning or evening routine, whether or not you go outside and ground, whether or not you have a relationship and a communication with your spirit guides, those three things can really give me an indication of whether or not you are able to kind of be more in alignment with what you came here to do, because I'm not here to tell you what you came here to do or what your purpose is. You need to figure that out. I'm here to give you a tool so that you can listen and figure that out for yourself.

Aliya Cheyanne: 14:22

Yeah, oh, that's such a good answer that feels really good. I've spoken on this show a few times in the past about practicing embodiment, because I am in that millennial group that has. We have just intellectualized our feelings so much A lot of us don't know how to drop down into our body, and, especially as someone who's I've always been a fan of talk therapy and I will be I've been exploring more somatic therapy and movement and dropping into my body.

Aliya Cheyanne: 14:52

There's been so much intellectualizing I can do At this point. Now I need to start feeling stuff. So something especially now that the weather's getting warmer and nicer that I love to do is to ground outside, just see barefoot in the grass, just enjoy nature and look at the tree, look at the sky, just give myself that space to be grounded and feel connected to something other than just me, like to the nature around me. So I love so much about that and I think that's really important. I completely agree that a lot of times, the answers that we're seeking externally already exist and live within us. It's just a matter of silencing the mind enough, or not even silencing the mind, but observing even what's passing through your mind and recognizing what's calling to you. What are you gravitated toward, what are you excited about? What makes you feel good and fulfilled and whole. So I would love to know your thoughts around how we can be more in tune with our intuition and our decision making abilities.

Aliya Cheyanne: 15:58

I am in this weird place where social media is just it's just all over the place, with these people who are, whether they've studied something or not, everyone is talking about femininity and masculinity and masculine energy and feminine energy, and I've heard so many people talk about decision-making being a masculine trait and how men are supposed to do that.

Aliya Cheyanne: 16:17

And then you have the other trope of people who are like we embody both. Everybody men, women, everyone in between has masculine and feminine energy. Being able to make a decision is a human thing. It's not just a man or a woman thing. But I'm I feel like I'm in this place where it's so shrouded and clouded online that people are losing the plot. So I would just love your thoughts on just stepping into listening to your intuition, listening to your discernment and your decision-making ability, especially for women who are wanting to pursue creative paths or wanting to create businesses or whatever the case may be Like. How do you trust yourself enough to know that what you desire is possible and you can do it, and you have the foremind and the forethought to be able to step into that and do it.

Fabi Cordaro: 17:09

I would love your thoughts around that femininity, where I interviewed someone talking about divine masculine. Divine feminine is such a hot topic right now because of what you just mentioned of some people saying only men can do it because it's divine masculine trait. And you're right everyone has both divine masculine and divine feminine energy. That's one of the universal laws, is the law of gender, is not the gender that we know of. It is basically like everything has both masculine and feminine, and the most important thing is that it is in balance. And so when I speak to women about decision-making, we've been forced to be in our masculine for so long because it's a way that we have to protect ourselves. We live in a patriarchal society and because of that, we've had to really defend our softer side and show up in our masculine. And so intuition is a divine feminine aspect. Intuition is a divine feminine aspect. So your decision-making really comes from the feminine, not from the masculine. The masculine is there to provide. I always use the analogy like the masculine is the riverbank, the water of the river is the feminine, so the riverbanks. The river is not going to flow unless there's banks to protect it and to keep it safe and to provide structure. And so if you imagine the feminine in a flow state, in a state of intuition, in a state of connected with the divine, of the divinity inside, because that's how you create, that's how we create. We create from our womb space, right, even if you don't have a womb, you create from your sacral space. But as women we have such. We have more access to that womb space because of our divine femininity. And so when you, as a woman, want to create, you basically need to have a structure for your divine feminine to feel safe enough to come out. And when I say that, I mean that you need to trust in your body, needs to trust you enough to be able to bring out that intuition and to have that flow state, what they're going about, right. So, yeah, completely separate from any gender, you as a individual have both feminine and masculine aspects of yourself, so you basically need to tap into your divine masculine to create structures and safety so that you can be creative and trust your intuition.

Fabi Cordaro: 19:55

Trusting your intuition is something that really comes from you, trusting the cues of your body and your body trusting you. The reason why I always start with the fact that we need to drop in is because of us living in the top part of our brains. Basically, we self-abandon and we disassociate, and those two things does not create trust. So if you imagine your body is someone that you're in a relationship with, if you've been telling that person that they're ugly, that I don't trust them, that I'm not going to provide for your needs, that all of these things that we subconsciously tell ourselves, if that was another person, that person would not trust you at all. Right, that is not a trusting relationship because there's no real self-love there, because we internalize all of this hate and self-loathing that the world puts on us. We don't realize how that impacts us because we just push it down.

Fabi Cordaro: 20:57

And then, once you start really starting to create that relationship with your body, you need to build that trust. You need to start rebuilding the trust that you have lost. And it's no one's fault. People, I myself included, have traumas, right. But there's a difference between you saying I draw the line here and I will no longer let the things that happen to me still make me not trust my body or make me not trust myself or make me hate myself, and saying I will rebuild that trust that I lost because of xyz things right. And so rebuilding that trust is things as simple as eating when you're hungry, drinking water when you're thirsty, going outside and not working through lunch. Please, we don't have boundaries.

Fabi Cordaro: 21:52

All of these things that we are pouring from an empty cup and that creates more self like dysregulation it it doesn't help with self-trust. So your body is not going to speak to you because it doesn't trust you. Your body needs to trust you first for it to speak to you and, honestly, like we don't have the right to want our body to speak to us until we can show it that we care about it, that self-care is important, that someone else's comfort is less important than our own safety, whether that's from health, mental, physical, safety, right and so the safety part of it is also so important. Because when your body goes into fight or flight and that can happen without your input when you get triggered, your body goes into fight or flight for multitude of reasons. It's because there isn't safety, and so when you are in fight or flight or you are dysregulated, you won't be able to access that part of your body or your brain that can put you into a flow state, that can put you into being creative. So, like when you're on a deadline, you're going to make mistakes, you're not going to be able to come up with these like things, because you need a space where you're calm, where your body trusts you, where you can listen to it. And so I tell people that when you're wanting to build a business, the things that you think is less important like you have this to-do list and oh, I'll eat later, oh, I'll go walk outside later, I'll, you know, I'll just all of these things are what you need to go do first, to show your body that I care about you and I'm going to ask you, but I'm going to deposit into you that you trust that I will take care of you. Because when we want to tap into that part of our brains or our bodies that we want to like I said, like creativity, that is something that's like the overflow of your body being like I am so happy, I'm so joyful, I'm so nourished, and then it'll give you whatever you want to share with the world or create. So even just like social media, we always say you have to have the X amount of social media posts per day. If you're tired, you're not going to create anything that is in alignment Just because the metrics say you have to create quality is not going to come through. 're not going to create anything that is in alignment Just because the metrics say you have to create. Quality is not going to come through. You're going to not be proud of what you put out there because you're bringing. You're doing it from a place of like lack instead of the abundance that is overflowing because you've taken so much time to nourish your body. One thing that I've, one tool that I absolutely love for decision making, is human design, and I know you mentioned it and I know you have experience with design, and it is. When I found this technology, it like blew my mind. I read my human design the first time and I literally threw my phone across the room because I was like this is too accurate. Yeah, like. And so if you don't know what human design is, it is a technology that was channeled and downloaded by ra uru in the 80s and it is basically a combination of the kabbalah, which is um, jewish mysticism, the I ching, which is basically the oldest Chinese book in history, astrology we all know how astrology goes, and there's one more.

Aliya Cheyanne: 25:38

I always go with the Kabbalah, the I Ching and astrology. There's an aspect of it, too, that has a lot to do with your chakras too the chakra system, and so it combines all of those different things.

Fabi Cordaro: 25:53

And the cool thing to me is that it doesn't like you can't mess it up. You literally just need your date, time and place of birth to look it up and you can just go to like myhumandesigncom or something and look up your chart and it gives you a body which basically is what they call the blueprints of your soul. And the cool thing about this is, as someone who loves energy, healing and anything all about the energy is it? It isn't a personality, not only a personality kind of test. It is a way for you to learn how you use your energy, what your design is, how to make decisions based on your design.

Fabi Cordaro: 26:34

And so when you asked about like, how do you listen to your intuition, how do you hear your body, I asked my clients what is your human design? Because that's what you should follow. You should follow your profile, your design and your signature, right? So if you haven't heard of human design, you're listening or watching. Delve so deep into that because it's the best thing ever. But it really helps you to be able to not outsource your decision-making and really understand how you're designed to make decisions, and it's the best thing ever.

Aliya Cheyanne: 27:09

Yeah, that was going to be one of my questions for you. What are some of your favorite tools? Because you've mentioned so many things that some of them I don't want to call tools because I feel like they're just practical ways of being more in tune with yourself, like when you're hungry, eat when you know you need to get some sunshine and go for that walk. For that walk, but it's also regulating your nervous system, learning to trust yourself again wherever trust was damaged in the past with your relationship with self or with other, just repairing that relationship of trust. But also, what external tool? I've talked on the show previously about human design because I love it. What is your human design? I'm very curious.

Fabi Cordaro: 27:52

I'm a manifesting generator. Okay, yeah, the 50,000 things I do and all of those words may make no sense to you if you give up human design, but you know what I'm talking about.

Aliya Cheyanne: 28:06

Yeah, so that and I have another question for you. So so mine, my human design, is a projector and I've talked about the different like types on the show before and just given basic definitions about what the different things mean, like the type, the authority, like all of those things. But I am a projector, I'm a 2-4 profile and my authority is spleenix. There's stuff like cross road, all that I don't know, don't ask me anything. Incarnation cross I'm just like, don't ask me, but I know those first three and I read a lot of them.

Aliya Cheyanne: 28:47

I love to follow the little pages on instagram. I've gotten like an actual professional explanation in reading about mine in particular. So I'm heavy in my era of leaning into my energetic type and what that means for me and also just reflecting on past experiences too and how, maybe when I didn't know anything about human design, how some aspects of my type or my profile was showing up and I didn't even know it. So I just think it's really interesting and I encourage everyone to check it out, like I did a whole episode of about personality tests and types and like all these different things, just as a broad categorization of these things. But I think they're so worth exploring just to learn more about yourself and other people in the world, how you relate to each other, so I always think it's really cool.

Fabi Cordaro: 29:39

I love it. I would recommend Karen Curry Parker. She updated the language from Ra's original kind of download or creation of the technology yeah, called quantum human design, and it honestly is more relatable and more based on the feminine versus the masculine, because raw was the guy and his yeah, it was very masculine. So quantum human design is great. She has a book it's like a blue book. It's called the quantum human design workbook. It is crazy. Highly recommend it because it can become a lot like once. I feel like once I read that it settled and I was able to understand more because there's so much. You have the planets, you have the gates, you have the channels, you have the centers, like all of these different things build on top of each other. Another thing that I'm obsessed with is the gene keys, which is basically like incarnation. Crush correlates to your gene keys and the gene keys is like a whole other world. So, yeah, but yeah, if you want a really good reference or resource, I would recommend karen curry blocker. I love her stuff. Okay, karen curry parker.

Aliya Cheyanne: 30:47

Okay, I'll have to look into that for sure. And I feel like sign that I need to look into that for sure. And I feel like it's a sign that I need to look into gene keys, because I keep hearing about it. I've never looked into it before, surprisingly, because I love looking into everything. I just haven't gotten into that one because I'm still trying to digest everything else. So I love that. Yeah, I think those are some really cool tools just to learn yourself more and to just be more centered and more grounded and tap into intuition and decision making and things that can help to support you and whatever you want to create. Leaning into your energy and how you show up in the world, and and understanding that and how to use it to your advantage is really important. It's a superpower.

Fabi Cordaro: 31:30

Honestly, if you have no clue how to tap into and use your energy in the most aligned way, it is a superpower that I think everything is not.

Fabi Cordaro: 32:18

I think I know everything is energy, but I think the next year is to see that everything, like not to have a to-do list or thinking of things in a linear fashion in in terms of time, because time doesn't exist, but so thinking about energy as your currency, right, like you giving your energy to something you were, how do you harness your energy for you as a projector, you don't have a defined cycle, right, so you don't have a defined sacral, right, so you don't have a defined energy center, which means that you need to be more, not conservative, but more aware and know that you need breaks. That's how you recharge, right? Or you have to plug into a generator or a graphic generator, and that helps you to not beat yourself up because you need to go take a nap, or you need to go with someone next to you because you live in a world that expects us all to be manifestors and literally 2% of the world is manifestors like actual manifestors.

Fabi Cordaro: 33:20

Right, you still have to wait. You have to wait for an invitation, I have to wait to respond. And the waiting part is hard in a world that expects you to go make a decision and then go for it, and it's like hustle culture and like boss, go boss. It's just calm down. Yeah, no one's milking the flame. We all don't have the same energy. All of us need to like we like all of us need to be conservative for our energy, because I, as a Manchester generator, don't just have energy for energy's sake. I only have unlimited energy for the things that light me up, so I can talk to you all day because this lights me up. I can't do something else that I'm absolutely a bore all day because I won't have energy for it. It's like a super superpower. If you can figure out energy, how to use it and harness it, you can do literally anything. It's amazing.

Aliya Cheyanne: 34:18

Yes, I love that You're speaking to my soul right now and it's so true, like just it just goes back to being in tune with yourself and how you move through life and how you leverage the energy source you have and how you show up. So I think that's so cool. Thank you for sharing that. So I would love to know.

Aliya Cheyanne: 34:41

We've spoken a lot about how to drop into our bodies, how to leverage our energy and all these different things, but I noticed that there are a lot of people in various capacities who feel stuck, whatever that means to them. Whether they're creating something, they have a business, they're working somewhere, they just feel stuck, and that's very true for just the world we live in right now. There's a lot going on all the time. There's a lot we're witnessing all the time. It's easy to just feel stuck. I would love to know from your experience, from your work with your clients, just your observations, what you're aware of, what is a way that we can feel more unstuck, what is a way that we can feel more just, capable to take the next step in a season where a lot of folks are feeling very stuck?

Fabi Cordaro: 35:33

Yeah, it is. There's so much going on, and so that can be debilitating and overwhelming. Yeah, because I don't even know where to start. There's a piece of you're asleep and you have no idea, but then you're like oh, I know I'm made for better, I know there's something more out there. I know this is not it, but then how do you get from that awareness to okay, I know what to do now? Yeah, so it's almost like that. Stay the different stages of awakening, like you have the people who are completely like okay, you just maybe it won't be this lifetime, maybe next lifetime, and then you have the people who are okay, I know that there's more to this life, and so what I tell people to do is the funny thing is I think you mentioned this a little bit earlier people don't understand what meditation means and how to meditate, because I think we've had this misconception from the yogis and the gurus of the world, where people think it's just sitting still and trying to silence your brain for two hours at a time, and that is impossible.

Fabi Cordaro: 36:43

You will never silence your brain. Your brain is meant to think. That's its own option. Your brain is going to think. Your job in meditation is to witness your thoughts instead of being your thought. Yes, so whether meditating for five minutes a day, 10 minutes a day, walking meditation there's so many guided meditations. If you're just starting out like I I'm so bad at meditating Guided meditations is literally like your gateway drug to being able to be more aware and mindful that word is overused but mindful Because the mindfulness comes in.

Fabi Cordaro: 37:19

The reason why it's so important is the reason why you feel stuck is because you're replaying the same loop of thoughts, of limiting beliefs, of stories that were created when you were developing, right? Yeah, something you know is your brain wave and your neural pathways get developed and set in place between the ages of zero and seven. So this you might just think back on when you were that age, you had no control over what happened to you, what decisions you had to make, who was speaking over you, the things that you saw and experienced. That is your original programming. Yeah, year seven. It doesn't mean it has to stay that way, because what we know about neuroscience is that you are able to create new neural pathways every single day. Because what we know about neuroscience is that you are able to create new neural pathways every single day. That means that even if you are 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, doesn't matter what age you can create new neural pathways in your brain.

Fabi Cordaro: 38:20

You just need to update, be aware of your programming and update your software, just like a computer, right? But if you're not still enough to notice what your current programming is, what your current stories are, what your current limiting beliefs are, what are the things that are keeping you in that stuck state, then you will never be able to change them, because you can only change that which you are aware of. Right? You need to understand what your subconscious is believing, because that's what's creating your reality and that comes back to like your reality you create. We create our own reality, our subconscious creates our reality. And when you want to change your reality, you need to change your subconscious. And you also need to understand that, the reason why you're stuck. You need to understand what the reason. Obviously, the goal is to get unstuck, but there's a reason for you being stuck and there's a lesson in that too.

Fabi Cordaro: 39:15

So, understanding what is making me stuck, being curious about that why do I feel the stuckness? Where do I feel it in my body? What does it feel like? When was the first time I may have felt this. What is something that has happened, maybe in my childhood doing inner child work, doing shadow work, really doing the work so that you can move from this stuck phase to be able to make decisions and make move. I think we're so focused on making the moves that we spiritually bypass. We here bypass it right. We just want to live the fun girly life. We don't want to do our shadow work, we don't want to do our inner child work, we don't want to actually sit with the uncomfortableness of what is coming up.

Fabi Cordaro: 39:58

Right now I feel this way Love and compassion, look at those parts of you, those shadow parts that you've basically ostracized and said I don't want to look at this. What would happen if you just witnessed that part of you and loved it and integrated it? Because that's the part that will be. Just, the transmutation that will happen from those pieces is going to be the thing that propels you to go further, because we always you think about a bow and arrow like the further back you pull the bow, the arrow can go further, and so the deeper you can go into your shadow part, the deeper you can go into those pieces that you feel like you're ashamed of, or the pieces that no one knows about you. You don't want to look at. That's where the treasure lies, because the healing is in the wound. Right, you want to go and look at the wound. You clean it out. Clean it well, yeah, just put a mandate on it. This is the parts I feel like we're not talking about enough, about the, the plot, that are uncomfortable, the parts that are icky, that that's not fun.

Fabi Cordaro: 41:07

The shadow work, the inner child work, the past life work that is still we're carrying around with us and we need to let go of. And it's not the pretty parts, yeah, that's what you really need to focus on first, and the result of all of that work will be you figuring out what your path is, because that is where you'll get most. Like you, your soul decided to have this experience, whether it's in this life or past life, so that you can learn from this experience. And nine times out of ten, turn around and teach others this experience. Yeah, so the thing that I think a lot of people do they have a spiritual awakening. They realize I don't want to do this nine to five anymore. I want to do energy healing. They can get their reiki certification, they start doing energy healing work. They start seeing clients, they start seeing, they start seeing results, but in that process they stop doing their own work. Yeah, they may be going down a road that's fine, right right, there's nothing wrong with that road but it's not their road and at some point they feel like but I'm doing the thing I've been.

Fabi Cordaro: 42:23

I am an energy healer and so one thing that I work with people a lot is like healing the healer, because you cannot be a healer without doing your own inner healing work as well, because you're going to be healing others from a place of wounding healing work as well, because you're going to be healing others from a place of wounding and your wounds is. The is basically the way that you see what you're supposed to be doing here, because those are all markers so that your soul can remember. It's basically like these markers that were created in your soul plan so that you can go back, look at it, integrate it and use it and do that, keep doing that. If you just wake up and you're like, oh, I'm gonna pick the first thing I'm gonna do tarot for the rest of my life I'm gonna be. There's more there and you won't find that more, and they should work through this ick and integrate it and understand okay, now I'm this, now I'm oh my goodness, now I love this more, or I, now I can integrate this and bring this to my clients, and that's something I call the 5D.

Fabi Cordaro: 43:22

Healer is in the 5D. We aren't just one thing, you are all things and connected as well as a vessel for source energy. So it's not just I do this and, like they say'm an energy healer. I do breath work or I do yoga. That's very 3d. That's very much putting everyone in a box. It's very modality based. It's very polaric, right, so the polarity of three-dimensional is like positive, negative, etc.

Fabi Cordaro: 43:52

But when you start looking at 5d and what that looks like to be a healer is, you are everything and more that you have experienced in this lifetime as well as past lives, and you have connection to infinite knowledge and capabilities when and if you step out of your own way.

Fabi Cordaro: 44:14

So stepping out of your own way and healing your wounds so that you can transmute those and be able to be not pure I hate that word pure but like more of a aligned vessel so that those energy can work through you and basically, we're also made to channel, which is what I'm doing right now, like I am channeling by using my voice and tapping into the knowledge that my soul has. That source has, yes, yeah, the clearer that vessel can be, the more you'll be able to embody and bring forth the energy and this like spirit source, whatever you want to call it to be able to do that light that you want to be in the world but to clear that you need to clear the wounds that have been created by and that you've taken on as part of this in 3d earth school world that we're in.

Aliya Cheyanne: 45:14

Yeah, oh, my goodness, I'm like the. The more you're speaking, I just feel like a calmness coming over me because I agree with so much of that I've mentioned on the show before. I have said and I still stand by I think you said it in a way too that a lot more things are becoming more mainstream now. People didn't have the words for certain things before, so now it's. You're constantly hearing certain phrases all the time, and one of them is shadow work. And even though it's constantly all over social media now, it is important, like I've said on the show before, that you cannot only stand in your light. You have to be able to stand in the aspects of yourself that you hide, that you don't want the world to know about, that you like to push off to the side. You have to be able to integrate your darkness, to be fully whole, and you can only do that by stepping into your shadow and doing your shadow work. Here I am overusing the term, but so much of that resonates, and I love the analogy of a literal wound, because a wound cannot just it's not only physical, it can be spiritual too, and it's very important that you don't just slap a band-aid. You have to cleanse it, you have to treat it, you have to make sure that it has what it needs to heal. And heal properly Doesn't mean that you won't have a scar, but if the scar is there, it serves as a reminder, and I love just a lot of what you shared around that and how you transmit energy, like when you're able to do those things, you're able to show up in the world a different way, not just for yourself, but for your community and all of the people that you may serve, whether it's clients, whether it's people in your life, whether it's family it all works together. So I think that's really cool. Think that being a fully integrated person and pulling in all these different aspects of yourself, that's the only way you can lean into your true desires.

Aliya Cheyanne: 47:05

I feel like sometimes people might think they want a thing because maybe they've seen it, someone else has it, or they think that's what they want, but they do a little deeper digging. That's not actually what they want. So I would love to know your thoughts around what it means to fully step into your deepest desires and how we can get to that place, to where we actually know and we take meaningful steps toward creating that in our lives, because I thought my deepest desires 10 years ago was like one thing. And I'm here now and my deepest desires are totally different. But that's because I've had the time and the space to do some of the work you'll always be doing the work, but to do some of the work to learn more about myself, the world and what I really want. So I would love your thoughts around stepping into our deepest desires, like how can we do that more?

Fabi Cordaro: 47:59

and better, follow your excitement to the point, at the best of your ability, without any expectation for the result, and it's a concept that's okay. But what does that mean? But it is another word that people overuse is manifestation and abundance, like all of these, like cash. Yeah, one of the things that I've realized with manifestation that is, that's overlooked a lot of times is that piece of you can't really manifest anything that is not in alignment with you. You're going to manifest whatever needs you need, not necessarily what you want, yeah, and so you may think it's going to look one way, but when you get through the other side of it and you look back, you're like it's so much, honestly, all the time, better than you thought it would be. Because what you need to understand is your brain can only think of something that it knows.

Fabi Cordaro: 48:53

This is a limitation. Our brains can only bring things into existence that it is known, and a lot of time it is the unknown. That is where your deepest desire is Just focusing on what you think you want, and manifesting from that place is very limited, because you can't fathom what you can't fathom right, like your brain is capable of thinking outside the box, because that is not what it's made to do. Your brain is made to understand what is real, what is not real, what is now, what is known, and anything that is not now and what is not known is a threat. Known and anything that is not now and what is not known is a threat. That's why creating safety is so important in these conversations, because if your body and your brain does not feel safe, you will self-sabotage yourself every single time, even if it is really what you desire, because it sees it as a threat Anything that's new, and it is going to be seen as a threat by your brain or your body.

Fabi Cordaro: 50:01

And so creating that safety and basically putting it in a place where you take small steps to it, not making drastic changes, is so much better than trying to overhaul your entire life and quit your job. That's going to throw you into fight or flight, and your nervous system is not going to be able to handle that. Yeah, so being able to know what your believers desire is. This is an exercise of really understanding who are you from, an authentic place and I know authenticity is another word that that is overused as well but what are those things that you do without getting paid that like you would. Just you just do, and you feel so fulfilled by doing it and don't try and make it a job, don't try and start a business.

Fabi Cordaro: 50:47

That's what the point of this? Yeah, the point of this is to figure out what are the things that bring you joy, and in doing those things that bring you joy, you show your brain that it is safe to be in the state of joy. And so then, the more you do that, the more those things your brain's going to find those things that bring you joy, because you put it as a priority, and so it's actually better for you to first do the thing that bring you joy than doing the to-do list or the thing that you're supposed to do or suffering through it. There's so many different ways that you can go about that, but if you can, it's like the habit stacking thing they talk about, even design. There's a reason why you get to the frustration, which is you're not self. In human design, or whatever. You're not self is because you don't. You're doing things when you're not supposed to be doing them. I think the biggest thing people don't understand is that there is, there's going to be, a time for you to do something. It's not necessarily when the world says you should do it, and the hardest part is going to be to no longer be a people pleaser and being able to have boundaries and say I know you want me to do this by x date and it's really hard if you have a boss or whatever. But if you have a set amount of energy in a day, you're spending it on what your body tells you it's excited for. First will actually increase the it's right You're like you're. By going off to the thing that still creates most excitement right now, you create more excitement, and by creating more excitement, you'll have more excitement to do the things that may not be as exciting, and so it is just a snowball effect versus training yourself and pulling yourself through doing something and a lot of times. If you do that, if you, let's say, you have one of two things to do, the one isn't really revenue generating but it's really exciting. And the other thing is you have to do your taxes right. We know no one likes doing their taxes. I'm a CPA. I don't like doing taxes. Forcing yourself to do your taxes is going to take you much longer than giving yourself the opportunity in a set time to do the thing that you really like more excitement about and then using that excitement and using that momentum of energy that you just built to go spend 30 minutes on your taxes.

Fabi Cordaro: 53:16

It's this thing where people I think we've been told that we have to suffer through life. It's like this whole oh life is so horrible. It's become like this badge of honor people we're around where they're so tired all the time and they're miserable all the time. And I'm not saying that's not the case, but you also have an agency. You're a sovereign being. You have agency as an adult, like everyone does.

Fabi Cordaro: 53:41

But as an adult we're speaking to, you can decide whether or not you're going to wake up and give all your energy to someone else or say, hey, I'm going to put myself first, going to put myself first. It's hard, it's not easy, but it is possible. And so I think moving out of that victim mentality of everything is happening to me to something as everything is happening for me. So even the horrible things or the things that you don't like is not a bad thing. It is just something that is pointing you towards a direction you don't want to go, and just knowing what you don't like is almost as important as what you do. So really, just looking at your life and saying, okay, how can I learn from all of the things that's happening right now? And because all of these things are here for some reason and I just need to understand that they are. These things are on the road to me living in my truest self. I'm not the victim of my circumstances. It's the first step in really stepping into understanding what your desires are.

Aliya Cheyanne: 55:22

Yeah, yeah, I think there's so much there.

Aliya Cheyanne: 55:27

There are a number of through lines in everything that you've shared, but one thing that stands out to me the most is the practice of being really present and embodying certain feelings, whether they be joy, whether it be excitement, whether it be like whatever.

Aliya Cheyanne: 55:46

It is just really leaning into that feeling and knowing what it feels like in your body so that you can magnify that feeling and it spreads out into other areas of your life. Personally, too, like when I do find small pockets of just joy and just deep bliss, or whatever the case may be, or maybe my nervous system just feels really calm and really regulated. I'm just good. I try to just lean into that feeling and sink into it and just remember what it feels like, so that I can always find my way back there, and I think that's really important too. That's another way to lean into what you truly desire, because a lot of what we desire is not really material things. Some of it is for sure, like we live in this world, we have to survive and do all those things, but a lot of what we need and truly desire is really a feeling to feel at ease.

Fabi Cordaro: 56:46

To feel at ease, to feel peaceful, to feel content, to feel secure, like all of these feelings, so I love that interesting way of looking at this is when you set goals, let's say, for the quarter or for the year or whatever you want to set for, instead of having a monetary or tangible goal, is looking at it as what is the core-desired feeling that there's a book talks about co-desired feeling, because it's been proven that you will do anything to get that feeling, whether it is self-sabotaging or actually like a, if it's beneficial or not.

Fabi Cordaro: 57:28

In the greater skin of things, your body will keep trying to get that feeling and it's actually the feeling you're after, not the result.

Fabi Cordaro: 57:36

And so when you can sit with yourself and understand what are your core desired feelings and most people have five or six core desired feeling, which is hard to come to because we don't even know how to name our feelings, we don't know how to feel our feelings right Something for you to maybe try is like on your notes app on your phone when you feel that thing, just writing it down or having a note of what are your feelings and the situation where you feel, whether it's calm or joy or whatever where you're like oh, this is something I want to feel more of.

Fabi Cordaro: 58:10

Writing that down you can in your moments of dysregulation or stress or whatever. You go back to that list and you don't have to like actually remember it. It's somewhere out of your brain, so you feel like, okay, you're not going to forget it. It's really like the notes app on my phone. It's like my favorite thing because, yeah, you get so many downloads and you do it at hits. Yeah, just like these little pockets of things that I feel like, oh, I feel calmer because I don't have to worry about forgetting the thing that I don't want to forget yeah, yeah, that's so good.

Aliya Cheyanne: 58:46

I there was this trend a while back on TikTok where, like, girls and young women were making fun of like the notes in their notes app, because sometimes it's just super random stuff, which is very true, but also, like my notes app is very detailed and very organized, like I love the idea of capturing, you know, the memory of that feeling and like making a note of that so I can refer back to it. So I think that's really good. I have to try that and I hope you, listening, will try that too. This has just been really good. I know we're coming close to time. I would just love to ask you, fabi, are there any last thoughts or pieces of advice or wisdom, anything you'd like to share for the creatives out there, the solopreneurs out there, the entrepreneurs, anything, any last thoughts you'd like to share?

Fabi Cordaro: 59:33

So I read this quote this morning on Instagram. Of course it said success isn't measured by the amount in your bank account, it is measured by how regulated your nervous system is, and I was like preach, you're going to have that printed and put up somewhere. And so your biggest, again, superpower, in addition to knowing managing your energy, is to be able to know how to regulate your nervous system knowing you're dysregulated. When you realize that you're dysregulated, know what are the things that help you get to a more regulated state, and shortening that window of call, the window of tolerance, shortening the window between dysregulated and triggered and regulated, and so finding tools and again putting on your notes app, because when you are in a dysregulated state, you can't access your prefrontal cortex, which is basically the part of your brain that can make decisions and remembers yeah, and so in your note, tap, putting things down that work for you and practicing those things when you're regulated, like tapping or going outside or drinking water, or eating or shaking finding a list of five things that will help you and start. And when you feel like everything gets too overwhelming, I feel stuck. I have 50 calls going on, I don't know what to do and even just putting it on a sticky note wherever works for you, write down those five things, start from the top and go down those things and get yourself and it doesn't have to take more than five minutes to get yourself to a regulated state or as regulated as you can be, and then go back to whatever it is, because life is a lot. But it's worse when you are dysregulated and have to deal with a lot. I'm a mom and a lot of the people I work with is a mom, and the biggest thing I've learned is when it's the end of the day and I'm talked out, touched out, worked out and my child was something the best thing I can do for our relationship with my partner and relationship myself is say mommy needs five minutes, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I will be right back and my five will understand that I need a minute. Sometimes she needs a minute and would take a minute to get. Sometimes I'm like I see that she needs a minute. She doesn't have the words to say that she needs it and I go. It's really loud in here. Can we go outside? Will you come with me? Because I it's I, I need a minute to go. I'm white, yeah and she goes from i'm'm okay, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just you can see the dysregulation to when you're outside. So teaching, reparenting yourself, that's a full account.

Fabi Cordaro: 1:02:15

Inner child work so important, like you were saying, therapy is great, but additional modalities like somatic work, like inner child work, emdr, those will really help you get to, especially people with capital T trauma or really any type of trauma that the cognitive behavioral therapy talk. Therapy is helpful to a point, but there's going to come a time where you will feel stuck even when you have a therapist, and that time you need to decide or figure out what are other modalities will help you in a due healing past type work. You can only talk so much. If you therapy for five years and you're still talking about the same thing, there may be something that you need to figure, something else you need to add to your list of things and find other modalities, find other practitioners. But the regulation is so important because you can teach your kids that it helps you repair into yourself, it helps you be able to feel your feelings.

Fabi Cordaro: 1:03:20

There's so much that I think unlock when you're able to basically not let the wall dictate your emotional state and kind of take back your power, take back your sovereignty of saying, okay, these things happened to me, I had no control over that. My life is X, y, z. I may not have control over that, but what do I have control over? I have control over whether I'm going to react or respond in a situation, and you will always react if you're dysregulated. It's really hard to respond if you are dysregulated. So, giving yourself the tools that you need so that you can come back and respond in a way that you represent yourself well and you do not feel like you're just being thrown around by all of these things that are happening to you and you can show up in a way that's more regulated and you're more like okay, this is who I am. I'm not. It doesn't mean I'm never going to get triggered. It just means that when it does happen, I know and I can support myself through that and then come back in a more regulated state.

Aliya Cheyanne: 1:04:26

Yes, it's really great. Thank you so much, fabi. So can you let folks know where they can find you, connect with you, support your work?

Fabi Cordaro: 1:04:37

Yeah, so I am on Instagram. Most of the time I'm at FindingJoyWithFabi and my email is FabiCodero at gmailcom and my website is Fabiicoderocom. But, yeah, slide into my DMs, that's where I am most of the time. I have a lot of different offerings, but I'm definitely someone that's very much. I work with people one-on-one and that's my signature program that I have and it's very tailored, specific to what the person needs. So I would love to chat to anyone who wants to reach out and be supportive.

Aliya Cheyanne: 1:05:16

Amazing, and I will make sure I link all of those ways to connect with you in the show notes. I can't thank you enough for coming on the show. This is really great.

Fabi Cordaro: 1:05:24

Yay, good to see you. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you All right much for having me. Thank you.

Aliya Cheyanne: 1:05:30

All right, all right. All right. What did we think about this episode? Let me know what you think. Send a text to the show, send a voice note. Let me know your thought.

Aliya Cheyanne: 1:05:41

We touched on a number of different things. I'm so grateful to have had Fabi on the show. She's just really incredible and such a warm energy and warm spirit and I enjoyed our conversation a lot.

Aliya Cheyanne: 1:05:56

For me, as someone who would call myself a creative and a solopreneur, at this stage and at this time in my life, in my life, weaving my beliefs and my spirituality into my work is very important. Honoring my energy is very important. Leaning into my discernment, my decision-making, my intuition, is very important. Learning to trust myself again after having self-abandoned for a really long time is really important. So this episode was as much for you as it was for me, and I hope that you were able to find value in this conversation. If you enjoyed it, please don't forget to share it with a friend, put someone else on, and thank you so much for tuning in Fabi. Thank you so much for speaking with me and joining the show to share more about your knowledge, your expertise and your work. So, again, I hope you enjoyed the episode and I look forward to catching you back here on the next episode next week. Thanks so much. Talk to you soon.