Episode 1: No Average Dog Owner

In Episode 1: No Average Dog Owner, you’ll learn how to advocate for your dog in a rapidly growing and divided industry.

If you’ve got your hands full with a little more dog than you imagined and a little less time than you thought, the Hands Full Dog Training podcast has  got you covered.  Every week, we’ll give you three actionable ways to help you and your dog live in harmony - and all in 10 minutes. 

Want to learn more about how to live in harmony with your dog? Check out Hands Full Dog Training Online at learn.handsfulldogtraining.com 

In Family Dog Manners School online, you can receive one on one coaching from our kind and credentialed trainers while working through a professionally developed curriculum designed to solve the most common canine manners dilemmas.

Transcript

Episode 1: No Average Dog Owner

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Intro

Hi everyone! I’m Kathrine, a professional dog trainer, mom of 4, and a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant with the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants. If you’ve got your hands full with a little more dog than you imagined and a little less time than you thought, I’ve got you covered.  Every week, I’ll give you three actionable ways to help you and your dog live in harmony, condensed into small bites you can chew on your way to the grocery store, out jogging, or working through that lurking pile of laundry

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Episode Intro

In Episode 1: There’s No Average Dog Owner, you’ll learn how to advocate for your dog in a rapidly growing and divided industry

Episode Body

Are you looking for dog training advice and feeling overwhelmed? In our inaugural podcast, I’m going to introduce a concept that I’ve developed to give you a process for engaging with dog trainers you’re considering working with, and deciphering whether that relationship may be helpful or harmful

Before we get to the process, I’m going to help you understand yourself so that you can learn to advocate for your dog’s needs in a very busy and very unregulated industry

As someone with a dog, it’s likely that you’re being viewed by dog trainers as a marketing target – the Average Dog Owner. Dog trainers spend a LOT of time trying to figure out who the Average Dog Owner is – where they live, what they look like, what they buy, what they click on – and then tailor their advice to what the Average Dog Owner thinks they want.

This podcast is going to flip that on its head. You’re not the Average Dog Owner. In fact, I don’t believe there IS an average dog owner, and I think it’s harmful to try to pinpoint one instead of celebrating the diversity of companion dog guardians. Instead of hunting for unicorns, my goal is to redefine you, and anyone in search of help and a positive relationship with their dog, as something new in regards to the dog training industry: a companion dog advocate. And when you view yourself this way, it changes everything about how you engage with people in the industry.

Your first reaction may be that it doesn’t really fit. You don’t know enough about dogs – that’s why you’re looking for help! I applaud you for reaching out for professional expertise and knowing that you have limits. But let’s talk about what I mean.

Many dog trainers walk in the door and immediately take the stance that their clients are uneducated, inexperienced, probably getting a lot of things wrong, and need to be told what to do. This sets up an unhealthy dynamic in which the clients  - that’s you – buy into this negative messaging and start to believe that they’re not qualified to have any opinion on the process. The trainer knows best, and anything they recommend MUST be truth. After all, who am I to judge – I’m just an average dog owner!

The downfall is that in many cases, handing over your own experience and knowledge in exchange for professional advice can lead to unintended problems.

The first problem is that trainers can set this unhealthy dynamic in which their credibility is based on judging you and pointing out your mistakes instead of actually providing evidence that they are educated, competent and qualified professional practitioners. In Gen Z speak this is called “negging.” In a more universal language, it’s called B.S.

The second problem is that making assumptions based on the idea of an Average Dog Owner limits information flow. You know all sorts of details about your dog and your daily interactions. You’re the one most impacted by the problem. You should be an equal partner in helping develop the solution. If a trainer walks in, talks over you, and starts labeling your dog and telling you that their packaged answer will fix everything, they’re not listening and incorporating the important knowledge YOU have about your dog and your unique situation into the solution. You’re more likely to get a suboptimal outcome.  When I meet clients for training or behavior consulting, the FIRST thing I tell them is that THEY are the expert on their dog. Trainers should respect you as an equal partner and listen to your expertise about how your dog currently lives, behaves and feels. You’re not a cardboard cutout.

The last and most critical problem is that the Average Dog Owner dynamic of assumed incompetence on your part compared to assumed competence on The Trainer’s part scribbles over your right to demand agency, and squelches people’s motivation to advocate for themselves and their animals. I’ve encountered so many clients who were uncomfortable with something a trainer was recommending or doing to their pet, but didn’t feel like they had the standing to object. I’ve encountered people who were bullied and intimidated by trainers who treated them like they weren’t smart or good enough to have an opinion on their own dog. You’re not just an Average Dog Owner who doesn’t know enough to be critical of how you and your dog feel. You’re a companion dog advocate, and you have the right to speak up.

Now that we’ve identified the problems in the assumptions many trainers have about the Average Dog Owner, let’s get to the process for acting as a companion dog advocate when you engage with the trainers you’ve already hired or may hire.

We’ll return to the problems and mirror them into solutions. An easy way to remember this process is to think about what you’re doing, which is asking the right questions to get the data you need to advocate for your dog. And who’s better at slightly subversive data mining than… a spy? Use the acronym C.I.A. to engage with your trainer

Let’s start with C - Credibility. Start by washing anyone who tries to make themselves look good by making you feel bad. This toxic technique is never the answer. A competent trainer will spend time identifying what you ARE doing right - so that you keep doing it! - in addition to pointing out potential areas of improvement. You can also screen for credibility by asking trainers if they have academic education in the field of behavior and if they have memberships in professional associations, or even better, professional certifications. Since dog training is unregulated in the U.S., you’ll find that the best dog trainers choose to self-regulate by independently acquiring these types of credentials. If a trainer claims they don’t “need” to prove themselves to anyone else, that’s called arrogance, not confidence, and you can move on - this person is unlikely to be open to working with someone who reserves the right to question their actions. 

Next, we’ll go to I - Information. Behavior can only be understood when it is analyzed thoroughly and in context. Does your dog trainer ask you for details on your dog’s environment and for specifics on any behavior problems? Do they listen to your answers and ask clarifying questions? Do they have a conversation about your practical goals before offering a solution? Do you feel empowered to help construct an answer or overwhelmed with to-dos? Do they solicit feedback from you consistently throughout training to ensure you understand it and are comfortable with the process? Or do they jump straight in to labeling a behavior and telling you what to do? When you meet a trainer, be prepared to request that you’re not looking for a data dump based on their assumptions about the Average Dog Owner.  They should get to know you as an individual, and information must flow back and forth between you two through a respectful communication process. If your trainer has a problem with that, feel free to show them the door.

Which brings us to A for Advocacy. Advocacy is the most critical and the most difficult part of the process. Many people are conflict avoidant. How do I stand up for myself and my dog without having a panic attack? Here are some non-confrontational scripts that might help in situations where a trainer wishes to engage with your dog in a way that you’re not comfortable with:

“I don’t feel like I’m being heard. Let’s talk more before we start training.”

“Thank you for your advice. I’d like to think about your recommendations before I make a decision. I’ll call you and let you know.”

“Please hand me the leash back. I’d like to try something else.”

“My dog looks stressed. We’re going to take a break right now.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but I need time to consider how it fits into my family’s situation. I’m not ready to get started on it this second.”

Acting as a companion dog advocate means using your skills of objectively screening for credibility, requiring an active and respectful information flow, and of course, advocating for yourself and your dog. Seeing yourself as an equal partner and not a blank slate empowers you to use your current life experiences and gut instincts to help your dog have a positive experience with training.

In our next episode, we’ll cover three things about dog behavior that will help you be an effective advocate for your dog. I hope you feel inspired and ready to take on this new role. After all, there is no Average Dog Owner.

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Thank you for listening! I hope my thoughts help you and your dog on your journey together. If you’d like Your journeys to cross ways with mine, check out my online dog training manners school at learn.handsfulldogtraining.com This interactive program allows you to train at your pace and receive one on one coaching from me and my staff of credentialed trainers. Check it out! 

This message is sponsored by my two hungry Mini Aussies.

Have a great week, and happy training from Hands Full Dog Training, LLC.