Gail Kraft Appearance on Manifest the Big Stuff
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[00:00:00]
Greg Kuhn:
Hello and welcome to Manifest the Big Stuff. I'm Greg Kuhn, sometimes called the Law of Attraction Science Guy. I'm a writer, speaker, podcaster, and coach. Think of Manifest the Big Stuff as a check in and tune up for manifesters looking to create their realities more intentionally. With each episode, I share timely ideas, tips, and techniques to help you become a more powerful architect of your reality.
And sometimes I get to introduce you to amazing guests. And guess what? Today is one of those episodes. You probably could tell, because I'm not the only one on [00:01:00] the screen. I am so excited to welcome
Gail Kraft to our show today. Gail is a dynamo who works as a transformational coach, a trainer, an empowerment master, keynote motivational speaker. She's also a writer and she's also a podcaster.
Gail specializes in helping you uncover your talent, find ways to utilize your gift, and be comfortable with being a creator of your universe. So obviously Gail and I have some things in common.
Gail empowers their clients to take their business, their career, and their lives to a level of awareness aligned with their very core.
Gail, [00:02:00] is that a fair description of your professional focus?
Gail Kraft: That is a fair description of my life, so, absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much, Greg.
Greg Kuhn: Absolutely. Gail, while we're talking about your professional focus and your life, how and where can people find you and engage with you?
Gail Kraft: Oh, absolutely. So if you want to get in touch with me, the best way really is through social media.
So you can look me up on LinkedIn or Facebook. And it's Gail, g a i l, Kraft, like the cheese, k r a f t. But do say that you met me on Greg's show, otherwise I will not accept your friend request. And then we can message back and forth.
Greg Kuhn: Sweet. Well, there's nothing cheesy about this episode. Sorry for the pun there.
Gail Kraft: Oh, I love it.
Greg Kuhn: Before we get into our discussion, I wanna share a little bit more about Gail.[00:03:00] Share some of her background. I know that Gail grew up and grew out of street gangs in Boston to inhabit boardrooms. She has worked in and with organizations such as The Massachusetts Teachers Association, John Hancock Property and Casualty, General Electrics Insurance Division.
She turned her first business around at the age of 28. And, since then, has continued to help businesses achieve their goals with clarity of vision, first and foremost. Gail entered into her own business in 2012, creating a model for guiding clients to success by using a combination of three things. Okay?
She uses business tools, [00:04:00] things like Six Sigma, Six Disciplines, change acceleration processes. She also uses coaching techniques such as elite life coaching, neurolinguistics, quantum linguistics. And, three, she has a metaphysical approach. For example, the nature of mind, such as meditation, soul alignment, and visualization.
She also has programs where she works with personal trainers, aromatherapists, and massage therapists to bring the mind body connection together.
Gail, tell us a bit, please, about how your background, at each step of the way, has helped you build and scaffold your life and career. How each stop on your journey has been emboldened by the experiences that [00:05:00] preceded it.
Gail Kraft: Oh my goodness. We could go on forever. So I'll just kind of do some highlights. So we'll start with being a street kid. If you do join me on social media, you can read some of my posts and I do, I'm very transparent, talk about growing up on the streets and growing up alone. I mean, my mom passed when I was two.
My father worked until midnight, so I was a latchkey kid. The only person raising me were the kids on the street, the other kids on the street. And so I learned to trust my gut. We now call it flow, but in those days, it's like, if it felt right, then I did it. If it didn't feel right. And honestly, I used to hitchhike where I wanted to go. I was fearless. Fearless.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Gail Kraft: And so when I had the opportunity and the way I got this opportunity, let's go there. That's very interesting. So I was raised, "Oh, you're going to get married and have babies, so you're not going to college."
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: [00:06:00] So I got married and had babies. And found myself divorced at 25 with a two year old and on welfare.
So I immediately got off of welfare. And by the time I was 28, I owned a home, a brand new car, and I was a manager at a prestigious organization. All because I trusted my gut.
And I was so fortunate. They called me, "Hey Gail, we're in trouble. I'm firing your boss. I think you can turn us around. Are you interested?"
Who wouldn't be?
Greg Kuhn: And you were, right?
Gail Kraft: From my perspective, and here's mindset, I didn't know I could have put them outta business. That was never even a thought.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: My perspective was: what a great opportunity for success. What a great opportunity to play and have fun.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. [00:07:00]
Gail Kraft: And in less than a year, I think this was like around October and our fiscal year was in June, before our fiscal year, we were buying technology because we were making too much money.
Greg Kuhn: Which is a great problem to have.
Gail Kraft: Right, right, right. So that was learning to trust my gut and learning to believe in myself and utilizing that. And so success after success, success breeds success. And so cocky Gale, who has been successful on board of directors, has had, you know, major implementations for big companies always come out right. Moved 3,000 miles away to California from Massachusetts and start working for someplace that wasn't in alignment. I didn't understand alignment, but I knew I was in the wrong place. But I was also fear for the first time set in. [00:08:00] Fearful because...
Greg Kuhn: Your gut. Your gut was letting you know you were in the wrong place.
Gail Kraft: My gut let me know, but I was afraid to take action because I knew nobody. 3,000 miles away, no family, no friends, had to support myself. So I stayed. And here's the thing about the universe. If it gives you a tap on the shoulder and you ignore it, it then gives you a kick in the butt. So my kick was getting fired, right?
Because I was in the wrong place. And you know, when your mind is in the wrong place, you don't do the best that you can. I fought the system, I fought what was going on and I purposely put myself in a situation where I knew I was done.
And so I went down a route of toxicity and anger and blame until I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. [00:09:00] And it was then that I said, "Put your big girl panties on Gail and clean up your act. It's time to figure out who you are, what you want, what your purpose is, and how you can contribute to this life." And it's been uphill ever since. I mean, yes, I've had bumps.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like a great journey began.
Gail Kraft: Yes. And I fell into coaching. I didn't plan to be a coach. I took a course for life coaching and I realized that this is how I was successful in business. This is who I am. This I could do in my sleep. This is perfect.
And I started, you know, when you start on this journey, as you know Greg, when you start looking at self-development, you just start to crack open the onion, and you peel back [00:10:00] one layer and you see, "Oh, there's another layer."
And you peel that back and you go, "Oh, there's another layer." And the difference is, an onion you eventually get to the end. You never get to the end of personal development because it becomes more spiritual. It becomes more curious. And you start looking at things you never thought you would look at before with a different eye.
Greg Kuhn: I agree. It's a little bit like a very well made TikTok video that plays on a loop seamlessly. And the first time through, I don't realize it's starting again. I think peeling that onion, as a lifestyle, as a journey, it embodies those same characteristics, doesn't it?
Gail Kraft: It absolutely does. I would never have called myself spiritual, or woo woo, although I was meditating at 21. I was doing miracles at 22 and didn't really understand [00:11:00] what was going on in my life.
But this time around, I was able to bring the right people in my life. As each journey, each step, was achieved, someone new would come in that was a little bit higher vibration, if you will, right? That I could assimilate to and get mentored by. And then when we became equals, if you will, then another one would come and another one. And now I find myself with peers versus mentors, right? That feed off of each other.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: The excitement
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: and the joy and the, "Hey, what did you discover?" Yeah. "You know what I discovered? This is amazing." Right? It's an amazing, fascinating, exciting, delicious journey.
Greg Kuhn: I'm with you. I like to utilize a process of choosing four important signifiers[00:12:00] to instill the state of being I wish to be, you know, possess. And for success here in this world, in the business world, collaborations with people that empower me, that are reciprocally rewarding, that's one of my four signifiers.
I'm bringing that up because getting to meet you through our mutual friend, Rita, is fulfilling part of that desire for me.
I have so appreciated getting to talk to you.
Gail Kraft: And Rita is such a sweetheart, such an amazing woman, huh?
Greg Kuhn: She is. I'm gonna be talking to her on Manifest the Big Stuff next week, actually. So it's two great weeks in a row. I will say, Gail, I did catch one thing you said I thought was funny.
And that is you said, I was fearless. And I thought was? What are you talking about? Was? [00:13:00] You're going for It. Have you always been that way?
Gail Kraft: I have always, well, it has appeared that way. Now I don't even, the fear doesn't even click in my, that's why fearless. It just doesn't even click. The type of personality that I have been in the past. Now I just go for it. Has been, "Hmm, what is that?" Let me look at it. Let me analyze it. Let me think of the possibilities. Let me look at the pros and cons. But by the time I take action, to other people, it looks like she's just holding her nose and diving in.
I've already done risk assessment, if you will, right? Then done some processing and so I'm not just diving in. But when I do decide to take action, I'm all in. I don't just take half action.
Greg Kuhn: It reminds me of that saying nobody's an overnight success except to the people that haven't been paying attention, right?
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah, that work ethic, you can't beat it. One signifier that you [00:14:00] have that work ethic, that you are fearless, that you are going for it, that you are on a journey of empowerment and enlightenment is the books that you've produced.
Your first book was called Authentic Women Have it All. Great title.
And then you follow that up with The Empowering Process.
And you have a brand new book called Krafting the Flow Formula. And I gotta tell you, Gail, that's the one that really caught my attention because I so love flow states.
I create flow states when I run. And that is where I do the majority of my channeling. So I've really been looking forward to talking to you about flow states. First, what is it for you, the process of bringing a book forth? My new one is due back from the editor within a week or so. And when people ask me, [00:15:00] I just recently told somebody, I don't know why I like to torture myself so much to write books. Because sometimes when I'm right in the middle of 'em, it's my least favorite thing that's going on. And, at the same time, it's just so awesome. What is it like for you to write a book?
Gail Kraft: Oh, each one has a different story. So the first one was torturous. I felt that I had to write it, but I had no clue what I was doing. And, you know, I paid for help. I paid dearly in many ways for help. And, you know, the program that was supposed to help me really made it even more torturous.
And so I didn't write again for a while, but I felt that the story of authentic women, it's my story. It's the story of being in corporate America as a woman and becoming the man instead of embracing your femininity, right?[00:16:00] And then when I did embrace my femininity, I ended up with being a much better leader. Because I was authentic, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And so the book is about what women bring that corporate is losing out on if you don't allow yourself to be totally who you are, right? And I predicted business would implode if they didn't start balancing out and letting the woman be the woman. And we're seeing that now happening. Just FYI.
The second book, which happened a few years later, happened when I had made a decision to leave my home, leave my business, move out of state to support someone.
And that failed. And again, I didn't listen to my intuition and my instinct was telling me, my cat was screaming at me, the weather turned to snow and ice. Everything was telling me, don't do this. And I thought, well, you know, my [00:17:00] integrity tells me. I said, "Yes, I need to go." And I've learned since integrity is first to honor yourself.
But anyway, it was an experience that I didn't have to stay in too long cuz I walked away from, but I learned a lesson. And found myself with no business, in debt, and no home. I was ready to sell pencils on the corner.
And I knew about empowering questions because I was an NLP and Quantum Linguistics Master. Empowering questions are structured in a way that they move you towards what you want.
And so an empowering question has a presupposition that you're already doing it. So your subconscious mind agrees. And then because you're moving forward and it's time bound and there's energy behind it, your subconscious mind can help you take action.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm. [00:18:00]
Gail Kraft: And so I wrote 366 empowering questions, one for every day of the year, while I worked on my own. So we're talking April. My desire was by the end of the year my credit card debt is taken care of, I'm living in a luxury apartment, and I have the flexibility, no matter what I'm doing, to see my children, who were 3,000 miles apart from each other, whenever I wanted to.
By the end of the year, my business was back and running, my credit card was paid off, and I was working remotely for a contractor as a contractor, and was traveling whenever I pleased.
And, yes, the apartment I was in was gorgeous. Heated hot salt water pool, two workout rooms, I mean, it was just beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Greg Kuhn: Fantastic.
Gail Kraft: And I attribute that to... You know, the empowering questions don't make it happen. We still have to take action, right, Greg? But what it does [00:19:00] is it releases the tension and allows us to get past the resistance that holds us back and look for possibilities, right?
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. Yes, absolutely.
Gail Kraft: I did. And I got everything I wanted. Everything I wanted. So that was the second book.
Greg Kuhn: I love that. The subconscious mind, what I've found is I don't need to trick it, if you will. I just need to speak the truth to it. And there are ways to speak truth without jumping straight to, you know, love and joy that hasn't really been achieved.
And the opposite, there are ways to speak truth without delving down to the depths of whatever despair is there. We can really coach our mind. And that's what I hear you talking about.
Gail Kraft: Right, right. So an empowering question would be something like what more? How else? Who else?
So you're already saying, telling your mind, so I'm doing [00:20:00] something already.
Greg Kuhn: Right. There's something there.
Gail Kraft: Right. And so for example, I'll use the millionaire. You know, "What more do I need to do, right now, to be sure that I extend that bank account and I start experiencing life as a millionaire?"
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Your subconscious mind goes, "Well, you have clients. Okay, so you're already doing something. Okay, so what you need to do, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." And it starts looking for, okay, if first agrees, yes, you are doing something, right? Oh, and you want it right now, so not tomorrow. So, okay, let's take action. And things start to come up that you are now aware of that you can choose to take action on, right?
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. And it takes some of the pressure off too.
Gail Kraft: Oh my god. There is no pressure. There is no pressure. So much more fun. So much more fun.
And then the third book. So this started last October. I think, October, November. I was invited in to do a keynote for leaders in technology. [00:21:00] And the purpose was disruption in leadership. So I asked the facilitator, how woo woo can I get? And he said, whatever you want.
I went, I'm talking flow to a bunch of technical guys.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Gail Kraft: So how do I do that? They understand formulas. So rather than say, here's the process that you go through, I broke it down into a formula of the key components you need to have every day
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: to be able to get yourself into flow. And I'll shoot them off, I'll shoot them off. First thing, the first one is your emotional state.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: So your EI, emotional intelligence, or your state. Right? So if you're angry, even if you're so madly loved, if you're any of those high vibrating states, [00:22:00] you're not going to make a good decision.
So I provide tools and techniques to get into a clear state. Not suppress your emotion, right?
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Gail Kraft: But how do you open up, right? And breathe, and get past, and just let that resistance go. It's letting the resistance of those emotional states go. So get yourself into a resistant-free state, number one.
Greg Kuhn: It's interesting. For me, it's absolutely essential for me to feel and process my feelings. When I do that, I'm in a position where they can become feedback. Incredibly accurate feedback. And they help me.
It's like an individualized curriculum, actually.
Gail Kraft: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: For my learning, growth and change. So in terms of the emotional state, and I hear you [00:23:00] honoring those feelings, not stuffing those feelings
Gail Kraft: Right
Greg Kuhn: but recognizing. So where do you go with that?
Gail Kraft: So one of the exercises that I do in training is there's a yoga position where you stand with your feet shoulder length apart. You're standing.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And your hands by your side facing forward, palms forward and chest up. Now as soon as you do that, you've just released the tension in your body. So now your body can think, cuz your body does have consciousness. And then lift your head up. You cannot cry and you cannot be angry if your chin is up. Right?
So I'm asking you to not stop the emotion, but don't give in to the emotion, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm.
Gail Kraft: Let the tension go. And then you can get curious about what exactly, like you said, what's the feedback? What is it that you're trying to tell me body, right? Because emotion is your body vibration, right?[00:24:00]
And your body knows,. And so you wanna listen to what it has to tell you. So you get yourself into a more curious state.
Then the second part, which is incredibly important, is to be honest about your intention. If your intention is to manage and manipulate, then you're never gonna get into flow. And it's okay if that's your intention, as long as you're authentic about your intention, right?
There are businesses that, especially as a contractor, that have had these amazing values on the wall. We have commitment to the customer, and we support our employees, and Nirvana is where we are. And their culture actually is make the next sale, I don't care who you have to kill to get it.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm hmm
Gail Kraft: That's their real culture. So there is a falseness [00:25:00] within that organization and they can't keep good help right? Because anyone who comes with the intention of what's on the wall immediately feels it's wrong and has to leave.
Greg Kuhn: And so, on a personal level, applying that on a personal level, is that a bit like cognitive dissonance? Is that like me saying, here's who I am and here's what I'm about and then how I conduct myself in real time in the world is out of sync?
Gail Kraft: Yes. Yes. And so you can't get into flow if you're not being honest with who you are. And it's okay.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: There is no judgment. I don't really care about what your intentions are. Those are yours. I care about mine.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Right? And that's it. But be clear about your intentions, right?
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Gail Kraft: And if they don't feel right, then have you know, come-to-Jesus conversation with yourself.
Greg Kuhn: Like if I'm not [00:26:00] willing to be honest with myself about my intention, especially if that's stemming from, ooh, I don't know if I'm comfortable with that intention, so I'm going to just go about my business cuz I want the end results that I believe it's going to bring, so I'm just gonna try to pretend like that's not my intention.
That's a tough place to be fulfilled from, isn't it?
Gail Kraft: And 99.99999% of the time, the reason why you don't want to look at that is because you were given a story that that is bad.
Greg Kuhn: So I'm judging
Gail Kraft: You're judging yourself.
Greg Kuhn: Yes. It's one thing to have a process or a way of engaging and a way of manifesting reality that isn't working for me. That's inadequate or incapable. And then on top of that, I'm judging myself in addition to just simply the unpleasant natural [00:27:00] consequences of it.
Gail Kraft: Right. And now you're feeling guilt and shame.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm. Yeah.
Gail Kraft: How can you be in flow when you're feeling guilt and shame?
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: So one of the NLP processes I use with people, it's called value elicitation, right?
Greg Kuhn: Okay.
Gail Kraft: And so if you know your core values, then you know your intentions, right? And
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: what's really interesting about that process is you have to face yourself. And the manure starts to come out
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: in that process. And breakthroughs happen during that process. And then you realize who you thought you were, and who you really are, are out of sync. And who you really are doesn't have to be who you really are, if you now deal with it.
Greg Kuhn: It's like [00:28:00] when I squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out. Not apple juice.
Gail Kraft: You know, I've tried.
Greg Kuhn: Because that's what's in there, right?
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: So if, ooh, ooh, I don't want orange juice. Well, good thing I'm allowing myself to see and understand that it's orange juice.
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: Because how could I even change it if I wasn't even allowing myself to know that there was orange juice in there?
Gail Kraft: Right. And so I'll give you an example. There was a woman who went through this process and her's was her values around relationships with men.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Gail Kraft: And in the middle of it, she realized that she really thought men were pretty stupid. She really didn't trust them, right? And, you know, she would never have said that out loud before, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And some really nasty opinions of men came out. And then there's a process at the end that [00:29:00] kind of flips that around. Okay. And then she's like, oh, no wonder I can't keep a relationship if that's how I'm treating the men that I'm with.
Greg Kuhn: Who would want a relationship with a person like that in the first place, right?
Gail Kraft: Right, right, right. And even if they weren't that way, she saw them that way. And so therefore they became that way.
Greg Kuhn: They were that way.
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: Because that's how she was manifesting reality and engaging with it. She was, you know, as we know, creating it. And as she learned, right?
Gail Kraft: Right, right. And so, the next thing is to go through the healing process of what's the root of that? And then overlaying what is it now that we've cleared that? Cuz you clear it. Now what values come up? And that's the core values.
You core values are underneath the wounds and the bullshit from this life.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Gail Kraft: And when those come up. So for me, mine were, I never would've mentioned at least two, maybe three, out of [00:30:00] the five. Community would never have come to my mind. That's number one.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Gail Kraft: Tribe is number two, which is similar to community, but a little closer.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Authenticity, trust and truth.
Greg Kuhn: Which can also all be found through states of being just as much as external signifiers, if you will. I mean, both are important, right?
Gail Kraft: Right, right. And so, because I know those, I know any intention that I set is in alignment with those.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Gail Kraft: Because that's who I am.
Greg Kuhn: You know, it is funny hearing you say this. I wonder sometimes, cuz people have asked me, like, doesn't it get exhausting? You know, you're putting that much effort into who you are and your life and how you're creating it. And, gosh, I just think, well, I'm here anyway. I'm gonna be here anyway.
And you know what? If [00:31:00] it's important enough to me, it deserves that kind of attention. Would you agree? I mean, you're not talking about applying these principles willy-nilly, if you will. But life gets painful, doesn't it?
Gail Kraft: It absolutely does. And you have to know thyself.
And if you are feeling shame or guilt or any of those negative emotions about what you think about yourself, what you think you know about yourself, then what you think you know about yourself is probably not true. But you have some programming and some experiences that you need to travel through first, right?
Greg Kuhn: Yes.
Gail Kraft: And I no longer really want to heal people. I want them to see where that situation happened. So let's say the wound happened when I was eight year years old and, you know, dad did this. Okay, see that eight year old? That [00:32:00] was how many years ago? Anchor it to there on the timeline. What's the lesson? What's the gift?
Okay, today is this moment, right now. That doesn't exist anymore. How do we move forward from moment to moment and leave the past in the past? But you leave it and it comes up, there's a lesson still to learn.
Greg Kuhn: Have you noticed any common characteristics or experiences when those efforts are more successful?
Gail Kraft: Leaving it behind the lessons in the...?
Greg Kuhn: Yes.
Gail Kraft: They're huge, huge successes. And that, again, it's another NLP process, timeline work. We're not healing anything. We're getting the lesson and the gift. And then leaving it there right?
Greg Kuhn: That's interesting.
Gail Kraft: That's all we wanna do. Because what happens there's a gestalt theory, so it's like [00:33:00] beads in a row.
So this experience was anchored in fear. Okay. And so, I over, this is mine, I overreacted to fearful situations my entire life. I mean, I could not get on the second rung of a ladder without gripping and I'd have to get down.
Unnecessary fear. Fear that
Unnecessary fear
Greg Kuhn: it's not serving you. There's kind of no reason for it to be there.
Gail Kraft: There's no reason for me not to get up on a ladder. Seriously.
Greg Kuhn: Right
Gail Kraft: Right?
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: So I worked on fear. A few weeks later I went to this thing, it's called Warrior Camp.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And, you know, you spend a weekend doing warrior things. And one of the things I was, many things were high, you know, like, high wire stuff.
And one of the things I had to do was climb up a telephone pole with a harness and then jump off. Now, in the [00:34:00] past, I would never
Greg Kuhn: On purpose, right?
Gail Kraft: have gotten up the pole, right?
Greg Kuhn: Right
Gail Kraft: So I get up the pole. I mean, this is like a couple of weeks after. I'm up the pole and I'm ready to jump. And I'm like, be sure to look around because the scenery is amazing from up here, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And I didn't realize until after Warrior Camp that I had climbed up the pole. That I had been walking on wires. That I was climbing up through tubes that I was, you know, doing these crazy things that a few weeks earlier I would not have been able to do. Right? So there's a very concrete, here's evidence that stuff works.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And so do I have fears? Yes, but not disproportionate to the situation. Because fear is there to help you, right? And when you feel your emotions, I do two things if I feel it in emotion, is this valid or not? It's not valid, [00:35:00] Gail. All right, wherever, we'll get back to that. Let's move forward, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: It's valid. Okay. What are you trying to tell me? How do I need to respond? What's happening that I need to do differently? Is it getting curious instead of reacting? Curious is the best thing for everything.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm,
Gail Kraft: Right?
Greg Kuhn: Yes.
Gail Kraft: Yeah. So that's number two
Greg Kuhn: It sure is
Gail Kraft: intention. So you get your state and you get your intention.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: The third and final part of the formula is mindful daily routines.
And what that means is, if you're in a rut, number one, break it up. So for example, the other day, so I typically get up, feed the cat, put on the coffee, take the dog out for a walk, come in. You know, I'm not gonna make the coffee. Got up, [00:36:00] fed the cat, took the dog out, did a few other things, and then made my coffee, right?
One thing done differently, disrupts my routine, gets the juices going, gets the creativity.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Doesn't take much. So shake up your routine. I also suggest that you do something a little bit fearful every day. It's like an elastic that you wanna stretch out until you feel the tension. Don't stretch it, just feel the tension and then relax it.
And eventually that elastic will go further and further and further. And what this does is it teaches you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. So when life throws you a curve ball, you can go, oh yeah, I know what to do. Because you've trained yourself.
Greg Kuhn: It is true. you can learn how to hit a curve ball.
Gail Kraft: Yes, yes. You've trained yourself to get comfortable with [00:37:00] being uncomfortable.
Greg Kuhn: And in the baseball metaphor, the way you do that is through pitch recognition, which can only be achieved with mindfulness, intent, and practice. Very similar to what you're saying,
This last Friday, I had gotten a jump on my Friday chores by mowing the lawn Thursday evening before the sun went down.
And I was so excited. Oh, I'm gonna have some found time tomorrow and I'm gonna put that to use. So I'm gonna work on a project that I'm pretty excited about. And got up my normal routine, 5:30 before the sun comes up, I let the dogs out in the backyard and then I feed them. And I let the dogs out in the backyard. I heard
a scuffle and our littlest, cutest dog gator had been sprayed by a [00:38:00] skunk and
Gail Kraft: Skunks are around lately. Yes.
Greg Kuhn: Yes. Yeah. We have a skunk highway
Gail Kraft: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: in our backyard for some reason. And just the same sort of thing, here comes a curve ball.
That was not what I was expecting. And I went, I did my morning alignment routine.
I have a writing journal where I align myself with the opportunities inherent in each moment and just prepare myself to be able to take advantage of them. I did that and then planned out how I was gonna address the issue. And, you know, by being open to opportunity, what you were saying, stepping out into fear, which for me often is part and parcel with not being in control, not knowing what's gonna happen, or at least not having the illusion of control very solidly in place.
Well, just by being open and saying, you know, it wouldn't have been authentic for me to say, oh, I'm [00:39:00] actually really glad this happened. No, I wasn't glad that it happened. I also though, what aligning myself with opportunity allows me to do is to stay in a formative mode. You know, when we're watching a medical drama in the emergency room and they say, "Call it!", it means write down the time of death.
I felt the urge to do that with the day, after the skunk. And here's what happened. Actually, my youngest son, who's still in the house with us for a little while longer. He's our youngest of four, but he's getting ready to leave for good. The two of us got to have a father/son adventure, problem-solving, do something together event. Which was bathing and getting Gator all cleaned up. And while I wouldn't have planned that in advance, I was able to have that valuable experience just by remaining open to it.
Gail Kraft: Right. And you were prepared because you mowed the lawn the [00:40:00] day before.
Greg Kuhn: And as you are mentioning, in terms of the mindful daily routines, I have made a mindful daily routine of preparing myself to be in a position to take advantage of opportunity, whatever form it comes. Even when it's unpleasant. It pays dividends, doesn't it?
Gail Kraft: Absolutely. And that's what mindset is all about is, okay, do I wanna be doing this? No. I am gonna have to do this. Yes. How do I do this with the best outcome? And that's it. And I'll tell you, part of the mindful daily routines is meditation.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And I provide, especially for corporate leaders, a process called Hakalau. Which is a Hawaiian meditation. Which is simply focusing on a dot on the wall.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And just keep focusing on that dot. And as you focus, you [00:41:00] expand your peripheral vision
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: a little bit at a time. And after a while you open up your reticular activation system, both mentally and physically, and you start to see the opportunities presented that you didn't see before.
Greg Kuhn: I think we've talked about this before.
Gail Kraft: Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: Am I remembering correctly?
Gail Kraft: You are.
Greg Kuhn: That through your practice of it, you eventually achieved a state where you could essentially see behind yourself. Am I overstating that?
Gail Kraft: No, no, that's the story. So this was at an event. It was an NLP event, I'm pretty sure.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And we did that exercise. And I was a crew member and I still did the exercise. And then after there was a communication training. And in the communication there's three people playing. Two people sitting across from each other, one person standing behind the other.
So I had someone standing behind me. The person behind me was to [00:42:00] put their thumb up, straight, or down. And the person in front of me was to use one word to give me a clue as to where the thumb is.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And I sat there and I went up, up, down, straight, straight, straight, up, down, up, up, straight, straight.
And the person across from me never said a word. And she's like, well, this isn't working right? Because I could feel the movement of the hand and knew exactly what was going on. That's what Hakalau can do for you. Amazing.
Greg Kuhn: That's interesting. So if I wanted to begin to practice that form of meditation, do you have any tips?
Maybe in terms of how much time to give it or anything else? Because that sounds very interesting to me.
Gail Kraft: It's very easy and it can be done anywhere. When you look at a dot, pick a dot or a place on the wall, slightly up. You don't wanna be looking, you know, your [00:43:00] eyeballs, you know, in your eyelids, but slightly up.
And then really, really focus on that dot.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And gradually expand your vision while you're still focusing. And I would say between 5 and 15 minutes a day, at the end of the week you will notice a difference.
Greg Kuhn: Interesting. Do you carry that sort of awareness with you even when you're not actively sitting down doing the meditation?
Gail Kraft: I can feel all around me. I can feel beyond around me, if that makes any sense.
Greg Kuhn: Sure.
Gail Kraft: I was talking with a friend today and I was telling her that one of the things that happens to me when I'm connecting, if you will, is I can feel the synapses is in my brain going off you a little, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And I'm like, oh, hi guys. You're connecting again. Okay. What do you need to tell me?
Greg Kuhn: How nice of you.
Gail Kraft: Right? And sometimes I feel them behind [00:44:00] me, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: I've met people who've said, you've got spirits around you. And I'm like, I know. Sometimes I feel them. I had an aura reading done where they literally take a picture and then they read the color and my aura is magenta with a little bit of blue. And the last time I
Greg Kuhn: Does that have a certain meaning? Magenta?
Gail Kraft: Magenta is godly. Yes, that's it. That's godly. That's as deep as you get, right? Until you hit white. And there are two orbs watching me. And this may be a little bit woo for some people, but I found it rather humorous.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: So the guy who was reading, he goes, "Well, one of them's an ancestor." I'm like, "Yep." And he goes, "And the other's an alien." I said, "Well, aren't we all aliens?" And he goes, "No, that one's a little scary." I said, "Not to me." Right? [00:45:00]
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. You know what? You reminded me, I just read, this isn't new research and I'm not recalling the name of the study, but it was published in a peer-reviewed journal. These researchers were able to show that simply by thinking about their ancestors, people's intelligence was raised. They did much better on standardized test scores. And they were able to demonstrate more resiliency and creativity. Simply by thinking about their ancestors.
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: When I heard that, I thought, well, now that this is known, future humans are probably practicing it. Why wouldn't they be? So if I think about my predecessors, then we'll be meeting in the middle with this powerful intent. Because my ancestors aren't thinking about me cuz we didn't have that [00:46:00] research at the time.
Gail Kraft: Are you talking fifth dimensional, no time stuff. Shame on you.
Greg Kuhn: Well, you know,I don't know how well established it is within my entire listening community that time is a construct of three-dimensional space.
Gail Kraft: Right?
Greg Kuhn: Because we have distance here, because everything's separate, we have to traverse the distance. Whether it's from birth to death or from wake up to going to sleep, they're all journeys, right? I was thinking about this when we were talking a little while ago about achievements. Because the nature of the quantum realm holds that there's no such thing as reliable cause and effect. Nor is linearity something that is a rule or a law in the quantum realm.
It is technically correct to say, that [00:47:00] if I want to, let's say I want to amass $100. The first dollar I collect completes the hundred dollar goal. Just as much as the last dollar I collect. And that's kind of a fantastic thing to jump into, or a concept to jump into, in a part of my life or reality where I haven't been very successful or at least not as successful as I want to be.
That can start to sound like pie in the sky. You know, my subconscious is saying, "Yeah, right."
Gail Kraft: Right, right. And you've gotta watch that because your subconscious is the one running the ship.
Greg Kuhn: Right. So as I've become more and more aware, more and more familiar with it, I've become more and more willing to work with it.
And my understanding of subconscious, at this point, is that it operates with low wall security. Meaning the walls are high enough to [00:48:00] keep out the fake stuff, contrived emotional states or manufactured emotional states. Feelings that don't match what's already in there.
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: The walls are high enough that it can always tell when someone's, when something's trying to get
Gail Kraft: over.
It has a high BS meter.
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: Right?
Greg Kuhn: But they're alsolow enough that you can gain access as long as you're being honest. As long as you're telling the truth to it, or yourself, however you wanna look at it.
Gail Kraft: Right. Well, what's interesting is, so, 5% of your day is taken up with your conscious mind, 95 with your subconscious.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: So subconscious is where all the intelligence is and where, you know, I mean, it's running your heart, it's running your lungs, it's doing so much work, it's doing everything, right?
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: But the boss, just like the CEO, is your conscious mind. So think of the CEO, all alone at the top, and then all of the worker bees are underneath.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: So your conscious mind [00:49:00] can give your subconscious mind a believable directive. And your subconscious mind says, "Aye-aye Captain." If you give it an unbelievable directive, just like your employees, it says, "Yeah, right. We're gonna go do what we wanna do."
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Right? I'll give you an example. And this is, again, gonna be kind of woo for some people. Your body knows everything. Your body has your ancestral history, seven generations, back in your DNA. And your history.
I've spent a good portion of my life taking my walls down. And at one point I had a brick left. A little bit of anger. I just couldn't get over it.
So, I said, okay, subconscious mind, we're going to sleep tonight, but you're not dreaming.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: I want you to tell me what the root cause is of this brick, [00:50:00] because I want it gone. And once I know that I know what I need to do. I woke up the next morning, I went, "Whoa. Well, that's interesting."
About a week later I went and saw my oldest sister. I am the youngest and my siblings are way older than me.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Like I said, mom passed when I was two. I said, "So, mom tried to abort me in vitro and failed." And she went, "How do you know that?" I said, "Well, my body knows. I'm glad she failed." And she called me a witch that day.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Gail Kraft: I then went to an Indian Inipi tent, which is a sweat lodge, about another week or so later. And in there you bring your ancestors down. It's very intense work that you do for cleansing. [00:51:00] And I brought my mom down and I said, "Listen, I have to tell you, given the time, given the situation you were in, given all of these factors that were going on in your life, if I were in your shoes, I would've made the same choice.
Thank you for failing. I forgive you."
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Gail Kraft: And that was that. Brooke was gone.
Greg Kuhn: And thank goodness you had the willingness to love yourself enough to forgive her.
Gail Kraft: She failed. Or was... Right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: So, you know, I had to be honest. Her oldest, she had two daughters married, three daughters married.
She had a grandchild and a grandchild on the way, and she finds herself pregnant. Hello.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Right. In my belief work and in what I write and teach, I have found [00:52:00] that we were given, we inherited, beliefs from imperfect people who could only pass along what they had, what they knew.
And hopefully, certainly in the best of circumstances, there's no intent to leave us with these incapable beliefs. That's not done intentionally.
Gail Kraft: No.
Greg Kuhn: I think about something like, because parents are human beings and they're imperfect, a mother who wants her daughter to be physically fit and well presented, you know, for good reasons.
Gail Kraft: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: For reasons that make sense. They're logical. And as her, you know, when she's young and as she sort of questions that or maybe even, pushes back, the mom responds with tough love. "No, that's the way it's gotta be." Or, you know, I don't mean to make the mom sound bad. She's, the mom has good reasons for doing
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: what she's doing it, you know, based on how [00:53:00] she's raised, based on that,
Gail Kraft: She's not thinking, let's see how much I can mess up my daughter's head.
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: Right. However, what the daughter gets out of it because of her stage of development and just, you know, we're not in control of how people receive us, the daughter, what the daughter gets out of it is: I have to be fit and thin and attractive to make my mom happy.
And that's not what the mom intended. Well, that daughter's
Gail Kraft: To make my mom love me.
Greg Kuhn: To be lovable, to be worthy. And to take it another step because even if it's left at something a little more benign, like happy, I'm gonna go out into the world with this belief and all I do is just swap a new person in from my mom.
And then I just swap in new characteristics or behaviors for the thin and attractive. The belief is that I'm responsible for making you happy. And even more nefariously, as you pointed out, sometimes that belief can be [00:54:00] I have to earn and deserve and warrant someone else's love by meeting their expectations and being who they want me to be.
And, you know, those kind of beliefs, they're subjective. Because the belief could have been anything. You know, obviously, there's no preexisting beliefs that we should all have gotten. We got what we got. So in that way they're subjective.
Gail Kraft: But once we had 'em, they're no longer subjective. Until we learn, hopefully, as an adult and we start doing inner work, which is really what you are describing here with the flow state.Right.
Greg Kuhn: The three characteristics: your emotional state, your authentic intention, and then your mindful daily routines.
Would you say that these three things are as much lifestyle as checklist, if you will?
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: When you are incorporating these [00:55:00] things authentically, to the best of your ability, which is gonna look different each day.
Gail Kraft: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: Of course. You have found that you're able to inhabit flow states, that you're able to be in that flow state. And if that's correct, what is that like for you? How do you experience that? How do you know when it's there? How do you know when it's not there? How does it make your life better when it is there?
Gail Kraft: Well, let me first describe what flow state is. Because there are different types of flow states.
I used to live in San Diego and I had a contract in Los Angeles two and a half days a week. And so I would drive up on Monday, stay and then drive home early Wednesday morning. Two hours and 10 minutes if there's no traffic.
Los Angeles. You heard me say, if there's no traffic.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm
Gail Kraft: There's a two hour window between two o'clock in the morning and four o'clock in the morning when there's no traffic.
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: Okay.
Greg Kuhn: And if people knew [00:56:00] that they'd be out driving too.
Gail Kraft: They are.
Greg Kuhn: To take advantage of it.
Gail Kraft: I've been there. I'm one of them. Because I used to get to that office by six in the morning on Monday. Because otherwise I would never get there.
And driving home. You've got Los Angeles County, which is huge. Orange County, which is huge. And San Diego County, which is huge. And I lived just maybe 10 miles from the Mexican border. So that's most of San Diego County.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: I would get in the car and the next thing I knew I was in San Diego County. Who was driving the car? Right?
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. Who? Who? Yeah.
Gail Kraft: My subconscious was driving the car.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Because flow state is when your conscious mind checks out.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And your subconscious mind checks in. Right?
I also carry a recorder with me because that's when amazing ideas come. [00:57:00] While you're driving, "Guys, come on. I know all of you have some brilliant ideas."
Greg Kuhn: Right?
Gail Kraft: While you're driving, you're in flow, right? Because you've let your resistance down. And you've allowed yourself to breathe, your body, your mind, your spirit to breathe, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: So that's one flow state. Another flow state is when you're in a car accident and life goes before you literally frame by frame.
There's a car coming at me. Click, click. I don't have any cars around me. Click, click. How can I move? Click, click. Gonna move the wheel. Click, click. The car's a little bit closer. Click, click. Okay, if I swerve this way, it'll miss me bodily. Click, click. I just got rear-ended. Click click.
That happens in a nanosecond, but you see it frame by frame.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Gail Kraft: Okay. That's a heightened slow state. Now, Special Forces, Seal team, [00:58:00] and the technology companies in California, spend millions of dollars looking for people who can get into flow. If you're on Special Forces or if you're in the Seals.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: You know how to get into flow.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Because when they're on maneuvers, they need to, like an amoeba, this person's the leader, they see there's a change. Now I'm a follower and you are the leader. And there's no conversation. It's knowing where to move, when to move as a unit, as a single organism.
So how do you get a team into flow? And I did this not realizing that it was flow. I was working from my gut, right? Getting everybody's juices going.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: I had a team when I worked at Hancock that was responsible for creative solutions. So what I would do is once a month we would get [00:59:00] one of the conference rooms, have some lunch brought in, and then we would play games. For some reason they liked Pictionary. That was one we played frequently.
And it would get dirty, nasty, and we would be snort laughing. We would be laughing. Tears. Snots. We were laughing like so hard. And when we were done with that, we put the recorder on and we got to work. And the ideas came so fast we couldn't write them down. That's why I would tape and record the meeting.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Laughter gets you into flow, right? Because your resistance is down.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: I had a team that I had to clear the air so that next time we worked together, they would get into flow. And this was at GE. We had a huge implementation out in Minnesota. And so I have a team in Massachusetts, a team in Minnesota, and I had the technical team [01:00:00] schedule their activity by the hour cuz it was a two day solid implementation with risk management plans.
They fought the whole time and it's like, nope, if you don't have to work until Saturday, Friday night, I want you home in bed, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: And if you were done Friday night, I want you to go home to your wife, right? Just like I need to know who's where, so I know who to call, if one of these plans have to be enacted.
"There's gonna be no problems, Gail." We're writing the plans.
Two had to be enacted. I had GE looking over my shoulder and they thought this went smoothly. They did not know that we had an issue because it was planned such and such. Okay, we got it, right? Because we had
Greg Kuhn: Yeah
Gail Kraft: there was no panic. We already knew what to do. But they, the technical team, hated me by the [01:01:00] end of that, even though implementation went smooth.
So what do I do? And I have a bunch of people that I'm gonna have to work with again. So took 'em out to dinner. No big deal. They always do that. They got their bonuses, no big deal. They always do that.
Then I took 'em to laser tag so they could kill me. They let all of their frustration out. Believe me, my little laser tag vest, barely was on. As soon as it went on, someone was shooting at me. Right, right. I could not find cover cuz it was someone everywhere.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Gail Kraft: We laughed, we cried and then, you know, we were buddies again. That's getting the team into flow. We played. Play will get the team into flow.
Greg Kuhn: Well, those are fantastic examples from a leadership perspective, which is a role we're all in.
Gail Kraft: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: Sometimes we're thrust into those situations. Family, community, neighborhood, other organizations we're involved with even outside of work [01:02:00] situations.
I know we're starting to bump up against some time limitations here. I could sit here talking to you all day, speaking of being in flow.
I gotta make sure that I ask you, specifically, and I don't know if this would be pertaining to someone in a leadership role who wants to grow more into that in terms of effectiveness and comfort that they have, you know, confidence, but also just personally. If somebody wanted to make flow, more a part of their life, make it more a part of their lifestyle, to be intentional about it - more intentional about it.
Besides getting your book, which obviously, would be a great first step. What if, you know, my, our listeners, they're all very interested in making their reality a better place for themselves and the people [01:03:00] around them. They want to be more successful, more fulfilled.
So picture them sitting in front of you. What advice would you give to somebody who wanted to see what flow could do by having it.
Gail Kraft: Yeah. Everyone's an individual, so this is very, very general.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: But definitely ego is very important. I don't want you to ignore ego. Ego is who you are. Ego has a very important role, but ego steps beyond its role all the time. So check your ego. I, when I work with my clients, I leave ego at the door, right?
It's, like, you can't come with me during this meeting. Because the only thing that matters if you're a leader are the people that you're leading. You don't matter. And if you can own that, then you get into flow cuz you don't matter.[01:04:00] And so you allow yourself to be open to possibilities that ego wouldn't even consider.
And you can see what you possibilities that you, go ahead.
Greg Kuhn: I'm sorry.
Gail Kraft: No.
Greg Kuhn: No, just I, that really struck me that I'm dismissing things because they're bumping up against some construct that I have.
Gail Kraft: Right, right, right. And it's very difficult to do. And I'll give you another example, because you still wanna be the leader.
So I had a team. And we would talk about, here's the situation, here's the problem that we're trying to solve, right? Let's have some ideas, let's, like, throw them out. And then my job was to do the risk assessment and analysis as to the probabilities.
And I picked a process, right? And one of the team members came into me and said, "Well, we didn't vote on that." And I looked at her, and I said, "I'm so sorry that I have misled [01:05:00] you somehow for you to think that this was a democracy. Because the bottom line is, if the shit hits the fan, it's my butt. So I do make the decisions."
If it's successful, it's your success because it was your idea, right? And so that's the other thing. Honestly, I can't tell you how many times I put myself between my team and some danger, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Or some interference. Because their job was to, uninhibited, do their work. My job was to make a safe environment for them to do the work.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. It wasn't about you, right? It was about you in that you were a human being in a role that you wanna be authentic with. But it wasn't about you because your role, the primary purpose, was to set them free.
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: To empower them.
Gail Kraft: Right. Right. And no matter where I worked, even where I got fired, I had the team [01:06:00] everyone else wanted. And I had teams that people rejected. Team members, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: They weren't the reject. They didn't have the proper training, the proper environment, the beliefs, a leader that believed that they could do it, right? They didn't have that
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: in their previous position. And that's all anybody wants in life is to be trusted to do the work. If you trust me, I promise I will do the work.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm. Takes a lot of courage to not make yourself the center, doesn't it? Well, sometimes.
Gail Kraft: Yes. And I think it's because I never saw myself as the center. And yet I am the center of my universe. But I'm not the center of yours. You are.
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: Right?
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. The minute I become the center of someone else's universe, I'm getting the heck out of there.
Gail Kraft: Well, that's a terribly dangerous place to be. How exhausting.
Greg Kuhn: For both of us.
Gail Kraft: Right?
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.[01:07:00] Yes, absolutely. So checking your ego. You know, I'm just thinking, in my life, that can be something that I say, "Well, of course."
But, honestly, when I look at, you know, how quickly, whether it's sitting around the dinner table or sitting in a boardroom, how quickly can things start to veer into, "Wait a minute, this isn't going the way I want it to." This isn't, you know, how is this gonna, how's this reflecting on me? Or I'm not happy about this. In ways that aren't focused on the bottom line, if you will. Of whether it's collaboration or a specific outcome or just relational.
Gail Kraft: Yeah, that's really difficult. I was working in one organization that had a lot of opportunity, let's put it that way.
And a vice president had me with a team to problem solve. [01:08:00] And so he was in the room. No one's gonna speak up with him in the room.
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: So
Greg Kuhn: The dumbest thing, you're in that situation where it's, like, come to us with the... Yeah. The dumbest thing you could do...
Gail Kraft: Be honest about the problem. So
Greg Kuhn: Right.
Gail Kraft: what I did was I put flip charts around the room with categories of the processes or where there are weak points around on the top of each one.
And I gave everybody yellow stickies and I said, "So for each process, if there was one thing that you could change to make it better, why don't you share with us what that is?" Right? And so I put some examples up and then people started and, you know, handed the stickers to me so that he didn't know who'd put what where, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: So I got the stickies.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Gail Kraft: And I put them up. And when we were done, we had a brilliant roadmap for [01:09:00] change. And when we were done, it was just him and me, he said, "How did you do that? That's amazing." I said, "I got you out of the picture."
Greg Kuhn: You ran interference.
Gail Kraft: Right, right.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. Yeah.
Gail Kraft: So
Greg Kuhn: That's great.
Gail Kraft: You know? Yeah. And so did I create flow? No, but I created a safe environment for discussion.
Greg Kuhn: You created the best outcome possible for you in that moment.
Gail Kraft: Right, right. And so when you learn to problem solve. And it's not even problems. And I don't like problems and opportunities because I think those are so overused.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: But, situationally, you're looking at something that you want to be different or you would like it to be different. Then you look at it as where can I pressure this or release that or change [01:10:00] this in the perfect world? And that's another, guys use this all the time, I did this, I started doing this at GE.
Okay, we have all the money in the world, all the money we need. GE does, maybe we don't, but we have all the money we need. We have all the resources we need. There are no system processes in the way. Everything is perfect. What would that look like? And we draw that, we roadmap that, and then we say, well, we do have a budget and we do have restrictions.
So what can we do to move towards that? Year, after year, after year? What can we accomplish this year? What we can accomplish, right? And now you have a five year plan.
Greg Kuhn: With that sort of mindful approach, because I think about when I run, what you're doing is you're turning the exercise into what [01:11:00] can we do instead of what can't we do.
Gail Kraft: Right.
Greg Kuhn: Same sort of thing in running that, when I'm following my practices, running is about what my body can do. And it feels so much better to do it that way.
Gail Kraft: Yeah. No. You know? Right. So I'm limited, I can only do this. Or how amazing that I can do that.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. Sometimes, like, somebody will say, what are you gonna do when you're 95 years old and you can't run anymore? I'm like, whatcha talking about?
I mean, I might be out... Yeah, yeah, exactly. Who said that?
Because I'm like, it might look like I'm shuffling along, but I'll still be out there just doing the very best that I can to follow form and breathe.
And it might look totally different, but why would I ever have to stop doing it? Same with anything else. Like you said, hey, maybe the budget's limited. Okay. But if we [01:12:00] start with what we can do and then just pay attention to the feedback...
Gail Kraft: Right. Right. And what ends up happening, and I found this in the first five year plan I ever made for myself at 25, right?
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: It was accomplished in two. Because you believe it. And you can feel it, you can taste it, you can step into it. And when you can feel it and believe it, your reticular activation system opens up and you start behaving as though it's so. And it has to become so. If you behave as though it's so.
Now, I'm not saying if you wanna be a millionaire, start spending that kind of money. But you can certainly make choices that you would make without restrictions that you think you have as a millionaire.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: You can start dressing like a millionaire. You can start hanging out where millionaires, you can start getting [01:13:00] friends with those kind of people, which I happen to be friends with.
The event that I gave, everyone in that room has huge businesses and multimillion dollars. So, yay.
Greg Kuhn: I will say, you know, I mean, maybe I'm just lucky. If there are any skeptics out there, you could explain it this way. But, like you, I've had the pleasure of working with some incredibly successful and wealthy people.
I found them to be the most generous and giving people that I encounter, by and large.
Gail Kraft: I love them. They're just like anyone else, right? Anyone who says money corrupts is, there's a program that's full of crap.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: Right? And I hear those kinds of things all the time from people, and it's like, well, specifically here's a great line. So who [01:14:00] specifically are you referring to? Do you know someone who is a billionaire? Not from the news. Do you personally know somebody? No. Well, I do. And there are good guys and there are bad guys. Just like the poor people, good guys and there are bad guys. Money had nothing to do with it.
Absolutely not. And do they have stressors? They have bigger stressors. I don't want some of their stressors, I'll tell you. Right? Worried about who's trying to sue them or who's trying to take their business. And resources coming and going and how to stable. I'm really not interested in that kind of a headache, right?
So know what you're talking about before you go there. And if you talk from personal experience, that's one thing.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Gail Kraft: By all means, you can talk about your own personal experience. Not judgment, not expectations, actual experience. [01:15:00]
Greg Kuhn: What is it? Money doesn't buy happiness, but I'd like to find out for myself.
Gail Kraft: It sure does buy a lot of fun though, huh?
Greg Kuhn: Definitely. And I have really gotten a lot out of our time together here, Gail. I really want to thank you for sharing your time with us
Gail Kraft: Oh, Greg
Greg Kuhn: today.
Gail Kraft: it was awesome.
Greg Kuhn: We definitely made the most of it. We created something of great value here. And, well, I can't think of anything more valuable than your time, so it means a lot to me that you're willing to share it with me and our listeners and viewers. That you've given it to us today.
And also that you were so willing to delve so deeply into your inner world. Into [01:16:00] what makes you tick. Into the reasons you do things the way you do them. It's been very illustrative and I know I'll be thinking about a lot of the things that you brought up and that we talked about for quite a while afterward.
Gail Kraft: Well, I'd love to talk to you after you've done some digesting.
Greg Kuhn: No doubt. And I would enjoy that too.
I do wanna say for our listeners before we go,
please make sure that you join my Facebook manifesting group today. So you never miss out on future episodes of Manifest the Big Stuff. And we can stay connected on what's going on with me and my intentional manifesting journey. And hopefully make your journey a better place as a result.
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Gail, once again, thank you
Gail Kraft: Oh, Greg
Greg Kuhn: and
Gail Kraft: thank you. Bye-bye everybody.
Greg Kuhn: This was great. And thank you, for those watching and listening. Thank you for doing that.
Thank you for giving Gail and me the opportunity to be of value to you. I think I can speak for her, I never take that for granted. I always come with the intention to take advantage of the opportunity you're giving [01:18:00] me to be of value.
So until we meet up again, until we get to do that, I hope you decide to make the most of your time. And I will do likewise.