S2 Ep 13 - The Gifts that lead you to Self-Worth

Hey you,

Welcome to episode 13! 

This episode invites you to journey through the most trying moments of your life, not as battles lost but as valuable life lessons gained. Our painful experiences, like heartbreaks and betrayals, push us towards self-discovery and growth. We discuss how they serve as catalysts, propelling us to become better versions of ourselves, filled with a renewed sense of self-worth.

We'll also uncover the profound impacts of relationships, transient or lasting, on our lives. Sharing my experiences, I'll illustrate how practicing gratitude can help us find perspective even in the face of loss. Together, we'll explore the need to understand our worth through our experiences. So, if you're nursing a broken heart or cherishing the memory of a departed loved one, this episode is for you. It's about finding healing, growth, and self-worth in the most challenging situations of our lives. Let's embark on this journey of self-discovery together.

With love,
Em xx

You can follow Emma at:

https://www.instagram.com/emmaritchiewellness/
https://www.facebook.com/emmaritchiewellness/

https://www.youtube.com/@emmaritchiebecomingyourwarrior

Transcript

0:00:01 - Speaker 1
Welcome to the Becoming your Warrior podcast. This is the place where you get to feel inspired and empowered to step into your very best life. Hey, hey, this is Em. Welcome to this episode, season two of the Becoming your Warrior podcast. This entire season is dedicated to self-worth and today is entitled the Gifts that Lead you To Self-worth, and what I want to do is really ask you just to have a think about some of the most challenging situations that have ever happened in your life, those situations where maybe you felt heartbroken or betrayed, or where you've really been in not a good place emotionally and mental health wise. And, you know, let's not, we're not going to stay there, but I just want you to reflect on those times and just really look at those times and those people maybe that have come into your life that have maybe you know you feel have hurt you or harmed you in some way. And again, we're not focusing on them, we're just kind of like glancing back, but I really want you to see what you have learned about yourself from those events, from those situations, from those interactions. You know whether it was a comment that somebody made to you when you were seven years old or whether it was something that your boss said, or whether it was like an ex-partner who cheated or hurt you or, you know, just told you that they didn't love you anymore and you weren't the person that they wanted you to be. You know, whatever it has been in your past and I really want you now to just put a sort of lens between you and those events and I want you to really go inwards and to really look at what that told you about yourself in, maybe in a past relationship. Maybe did you lose yourself in that relationship, did you kind of forget to do all the things that lit you up, because maybe that person didn't want you to do that, maybe that person didn't like you shining, didn't like you being known as somebody who was kind or generous, and you know, maybe they needed the limelight on them. And as you look through that lens, I want you just to see yourself coming through that situation and what you've learned about yourself. And it's always really interesting. 

I think a breakup is a really great example to always use, because you know, most of us have been through one or two or maybe three breakups in our lives and when you come through a breakup, it's always the classic when you come through a breakup, people just, you know, go through these stages of grief. You know it's kind of grieving, then it's anger and it's disappointment, and then it's kind of like acceptance, and then you move up the scale and move up the scale and then you start thriving. So generally when you go through a breakup, people get in the best shape of their life. They start going out and doing like all the sports or activities or hanging out with all their friends again that they haven't seen for like months or maybe years, and they really reconnect to themselves and eventually, when you're through like the initial pain of the breakup, you're actually the happiest you've ever been. You're just like, oh, my goodness, like wow, like I'm just so pleased that we went through that breakup because now I can look back at it and kind of see where I kind of lost myself or where I wasn't behaving as myself and where I kind of handed my power over or whatever it is. So can you see, when you look back at those events and hopefully you're in a place that you can do that now Can you see the gifts that are in that. 

Relationships are one of the most incredible teachers and you know relationships are there for a reason. They're there for a season, they're there for a lifetime. And there's a really great quote that I read, a few weeks ago actually, which was it's okay to grieve a relationship that didn't turn out to be the one. It's okay to be sorry. I'm gonna start that again it's okay to be disappointed that somebody didn't turn out to be the one, but don't grieve it as if they are, and I think that's such a great statement. 

When you're going through a breakup or when you're going through a separation or a divorce, it's basically it's like maybe they weren't the one, maybe they weren't the one and maybe instead they're this amazing gift that has propelled you probably through a little bit of darkness first, but has propelled you back into alignment with who you actually are and finding yourself, and the right person is gonna come along, and I do think that there can be one person, there can be one soulmate, or I think we can have many, and it's okay. We just gotta learn. Everyone's on a different path and someone might meet someone when they're 16 years old and they might die together on their 100th birthday. Everyone's in the notebook, yeah. So I mean that can happen. You can meet your soulmate and it can be the one person for the rest of your life and you can grow together. Or it might mean that you might need to work through lots of different relationships in order for you to really find yourself and find yourself worth. 

But this is what I do. When I look at past friendships or when I look at past relationships, I actually say thank you so much for the gifts that you've given me, even though it was really hard at times and even though it was really challenging times. I wanna say thank you, and I don't always thank the person, because they don't always deserve my thanks. I thank the situation, I thank the event I go. Thank you for that relationship happening, because now I've learned so much more about myself and I'll never, ever, ever let that happen again. I'll never accept that poor behavior. I'll never allow myself to lose myself. I'll always make sure, when I'm in any kind of friendship or any kind of relationship in the future, that I'm still doing all the things that I love, because that fills my cup and that also is the reason that people fall in love with you or people wanna spend time with you, because you're having fun and you're living your life and you need to keep doing this. So there's so many gifts that we receive in our life and some of those gifts can result in loss, like for me it's. I would love. 

I lost my dad when I was just nearly just under five years old and I think about my dad so often. I often kinda go, wow, I wonder what my life would be like. And I'm able to talk about this very easily now because it's obviously been a few decades. But in my 20s I really struggled talking about my dad. I just missed him so much and I was very much in a victim mindset. But I can also turn it around and go, wow, how lucky was I to have five years with a father that absolutely, I know, loved me and absolutely didn't wanna leave, and what a gift that was. 

And even when my dad passed away and everything that happened after that, like all of it, I honestly believe, like hand on heart, I honestly believe, that my biggest learning in my life has brought me on this path and it has been this path of really, really believing in my worth and believing in in my value and respecting and loving myself. And you know, my dad passing away in the weirdest way has been part of that, because if he hadn't passed away, I would have I know I would have understood self-worth from a very different perspective. I had to learn it by kind of going around the long way and making lots of mistakes and learning lots of lessons on the way. And you know I'm saying this like lightly, but like I would give anything, you know, just to have a conversation with my dad, of course. But I also understand. It's kind of like my childhood has been the biggest gift for me because it's turned me into the person that I am, that I am not ham Anna, and it's allowed me to like kind of become this teacher and share what I'm doing. 

And you know, yeah, get this message out and try and heal other people as well. Like, life can be hard, it can be really challenging and we can have our self value and our self worth just chipped and chipped and chipped away over and over and over again. But when that's happening it's because we're not looking, we're not taking the lessons, we're not integrating what we're learning. So you know, if it is a pattern of, like you know, unpleasant relationships in your life or people that betray you, or people that you know cheat on you or hurt you in any way, shape or form. There is a huge lesson and there's an inner lesson that you need to learn about self worth, and this is where your work begins. And I always say like there's nothing wrong with you, you're just on the path. You're just on the path of really learning what it is that you're here to learn about yourself, and so self worth is massive. 

It's a huge thing that I have daily practices, which I will let you know about in future episodes that I work on. It's not gonna ever come. It's not automatic to me, because it was a program when I was younger where I just learned. You know, I just learned like low self worth. I learned other people's emotions came first. I learned not to rock the boat. I learned to be the good girl. So basically, my life now is the you know and I've covered it in other episodes is the repetition of positive thoughts is just part of my daily routine and for some people that might sound exhausting. But what's the other alternative? Do I wanna go back into low self worth and let people treat me like rubbish? No, no way. So I'm very happy to do the daily practices that I do every single day and I will share them in the next couple of episodes as well. 

So just remember, like these are the gifts. The gifts lead you to self worth. They lead you to self esteem. So if you're going through like a dark time in your life where you're thinking really horrible things to yourself, see that as a gift, because it doesn't feel nice and you wanna feel nice. So what can you do? Like, what is that teaching you? What is that Is it? What is that teaching you about the thoughts that you're thinking and what can you do to change those? And I have covered that in the previous episode, which is breaking the pattern of negative thinking. If you are new to the podcast, go back and listen to that one, so I'm gonna leave that one with you. The gifts lead you to self worth. Just always remember that. Thank you so much, mike. 

Things aren't always a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes the bad things can lead you into expansion, into learning more about yourself. Like when you come through a bad situation, it can lead you into a good thing. So, just, there's never any good or bad, it's just always evolving. You're just always growing and always moving. Just take the lessons, integrate the lessons, and, yeah, maybe the yeah. I think the next episode is all gonna be about the daily practices. It feels like a natural, natural evolvement, so I will chat to you in the next episode. Until then, have an amazing morning, afternoon or evening and I will talk to you very soon. Keep doing the work, and keep moving forward into becoming your warrior. Thanks for listening today and if this episode helped or inspired you, just remember to share it to friends or family who could also use some inspiration. Today, we are all about sharing the love. 

Transcribed by https://podium.page